Off Target Demographic

Not too long ago, I wrote a bit regarding advertising. If you did not see it, nor care to, the basics were that I did enjoy advertising and found it can be creative and useful, but certain ones drove me batty. I took a select few and then proceeded to rail on them. Of course, there are new advertisements that come out everyday, and new ones that bug me. I certainly do not want to rehash a column, and that is not what I am here to do. I have a something else to share. But before that, here are a few items that I have seen lately that I have to wonder about.

Cell phones are amazing today, and can do almost anything. But can they make a call?

Why do advertisements for Kentucky Fried Chicken feature the song Sweet Home Alabama?

How exactly, Old Navy, am I supposed to get my Fash’ On?

Why do all radio commercials seem to be trying to create an image of people just hanging out and talking about their products? I would never go into detail about all the fine things I can find at said retailer with my friends. And I doubt most kids even know what a credit union is, let alone how WONDERFUL they are for the community.

If a woman started reading the product description off of a bottle of KY, and the man then dropped everything he was doing, would they really just snuggle fully clothed with stupid grins on their faces?

I like the Toyota Tacoma. I should buy one, because apparently, I’ll never get as much as a scratch on it.

How exactly is a middle aged guy singing a cheesy song supposed to help me enjoy my Snickers bar?

I don’t care how many people say it, they are not boneless Buffalo wings, they are chicken nuggets!!!!



Sometimes, I do not even think they give these commercials much thought before they air them. It seems as though they are too busy trying to be witty, funny and urbane than conveying anything about the product at hand or using any common sense. It does not even matter the market, product or medium. I think the only points they give any thought to are, how loud can we be, how obnoxious can we be, can we get these everywhere, did we include all races, sexes and religions in the ads, did we make sure not to offend anyone (except for those with common sense) and did we mention the company name at least 9000 times. They all seem to be riddled with stupidity and ridiculousness. These are only a handful of examples, there are hundreds more. I picked these up in my normal travails through the day. And that’s the something else I have to share. What drives me crazy anymore is not the stupidity of advertising, but the sheer volume.

From the moment we wake up, we are assaulted by advertising. Pretty much everyday, this is how it goes for me. Wake up to the radio alarm, and 9 times out of 10, when it goes off, it’s on a commercial break. Get in the shower, and it’s in front of me with my shampoo and soap. Grab my cereal, there it is again. Trundle into my car and on my way to work, boom, more visual assaults. Bumper stickers, billboards, restaurant and shop signs litter the sky with advertisements for anything and everything. Even the ground is littered with old fast food bags, grocery bags and discarded packaging that make the ground an advertising board. As I drive, more commercial breaks on the radio. Sometimes, if I am lucky, every station that I flip between will be on break at the same time! Cabs and busses are rolling billboards, covered in advertisements for everything from movies and auto repair shops to personal injury lawyers.

And this reminds me of something that has been bugging me for a very long time. Car dealers will put on all of their cars a license plate frame that says where the car comes from. Their way of plugging the dealership, this is fine. You must put the name somewhere, why not there. Now, when you purchase a car, the frame is in place, sometimes like a marker until you get your permanent plates. Again, I have no major problem. Here is what bugs me. To put on your license plate, you need to remove the screws, and therefore remove the frame. Why, on God’s green earth would you then replace the frame, and drive around as a billboard yourself for the dealer? Is it laziness? Is it stupidity? Are they paying you to keep that piece of plastic on your car? No? THEN WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE IT THERE? Don’t you see, they are using you as free advertising! People caught in traffic or at a stoplight or stop sign will let their eyes wander, and see that frame. They will go, you know, I have been thinking of a new car, maybe I will give Joe’s Dealership a try. You just gave Joe some business. Did Joe give you a commission? Did Joe knock off a few hundred bucks from your total price? Does Joe pay you a fee for advertising space? No, of course not, what business would? But like a bad business, you have provided a service without payment in return. So please, please, please for common sense’s sake and my sanity, take those damn things off! And for that matter, why do so many people feel the need to walk around and be personal billboards? Look, I am all about buying quality items, but that does not mean I need to buy ones that have the designer or store name on them. Everyone walks around and shows off their Prada bags or Hilfiger shirts or Sean John wardrobes or Gucci sunglasses, showing everyone how much they spent on their clothes. You know what else you bought with that nonsense? That is correct; you paid to use yourself as a billboard. You are basically paying a company to brand you with their name and logo. At least those goofs that get the tattoos of company names and logos make said companies pay them. Now that I have gotten that off my chest…..

Once I open my computer, boom, more advertisements. They come in a million different forms; the pop ups that most of us are able to block, advertising headers and footers on web pages, spam emails, 15 second clips before watching news or entertainment segments, and those uber annoying ones that just hover on the page itself, and it seems like it takes forever to find the close button. It is non-stop anytime I am on the computer. Ok, perhaps I will take in a movie. Nope, nothing is going to save me there. I know, movie theaters have always had their own form of advertisements, usually in the form of movie trailers and that fantastic lets all go out to the lobby song. You know you want to sing along. But now, get there like 15-20 minutes before the movie and see what is happening. For 5-10 minutes, they play a loop of still images with music that are constant ads. Then, they kick in 10 minutes of regular commercials. Then 10 minutes of trailers and then comes the theater plugs and the no smoking, no cell phones and shut up plugs. After all that, finally, they play the movie. By the time the movie starts, not only are my snacks gone, but I’m exhausted. Then I will escape to the beach. There is nothing to look at there except sand, the ocean and pretty people, right? Boy, am I wrong. All you have to do at the beach is look in the sky for your ad fix. Usually, it is littered with planes and helicopters dragging through the air gigantic banners that advertise everything. Although it seems I mostly see movie ads and condom ads. I wonder if there is a message there.

In the evenings, I try to relax with a nice walk, only to be assaulted once again from the inordinate amount of signage that is omnipresent. Perhaps a touch of television will soothe my nerves. Not if I am trying to get away from ads. They assault you from every channel, and I do mean assault. I will be sitting there watching a program, the show will go to commercial break and all of a sudden I am being screamed at about a product from a commercial at least 10-20 decibels louder than the program. And yes, they do this on purpose to get your attention. They know people leave the room for a kitchen run or bathroom break on commercials, so they want to make sure you hear it no matter where you are on your property, even if you own 100 acres. I am starting to get tendonitis in my thumb from having to constantly adjust the volume. Ok, maybe that is a slight exaggeration, but I would not be surprised to hear if someone suffers from that injury.

They are constant and never ending; before the program starts, after the title sequence, at least two more breaks per half hour, right before the credits and then right after again. Last time I checked, a half hour program was only 22 minutes, with the remainder 8 minutes being made up of advertising. Who wants to bet that goes to 20 and 10 within the next 3 years? Anyone? I did not think so. The only power I have is to Tivo programs so I can skip over the ads. Oh, Tivo, what a fantastic invention we have been given. But it only works so well. If I want to watch a sporting event, go Steelers, in real time, then I am stuck watching the ads. And do not even try to watch a NASCAR race and avoid advertising. That sport is built upon it. I would be willing to bet that more than a few other sports look upon them with envy and say often, oh how I wish we had started off incorporating advertising like that, then it would be acceptable. And I have noticed, it is not a large variety of ads, but 3-6 advertisers who buy into certain programs, and then beat them into your head ad nauseum, no pun intended. Take for example the Snickers ad I mentioned earlier. I was watching several programs on the NFL Network recently. In a two hour span, I saw that ad no less than 6 times. I am not kidding. I’m sure the Snickers people are saying, oooh, good coverage. No! I never want to buy Snickers again, and I like them.

And that is the crux of the problem. I am so burnt out from being constantly assaulted about what products to buy and where to shop and what to see and who to hire, I do not care to purchase or use any of it, even if it is a product or service I like. I go out of my way to ignore branding and advertising in all forms. I do not buy name brand clothing, so when I walk outside I do not feel like I am a billboard. I listen to music instead of radio when I can, to ignore the ads. I record as much TV as possible so I can skip commercials. I am not immune, though. I know when I wear my jersey when watching football; I am advertising the Steelers and the NFL. I know when I drive; I am a rolling advertisement for GM. As much as I try, there is no way to get around it if you actually use the products or services. And there is absolutely no way if you want to recommend something to anyone. You must do word of mouth advertising. Yesterday, I wrote about how I enjoyed programs on The Discovery Channel and The History Channel. Boom, I just played corporate stooge and gave then a free plug. Did I mean to? No, I just wanted to recommend them. But by doing that, I also advertised for them. Count back through this article, I there are no less than ten references to brand names most people recognize. Did I intend to advertise for them? No, but I needed to mention them to make a point. Whoops, free advertising from me I guess. What I do, though, is try to keep mine to a minimum, and only use those products that keep their branding to a minimum, are at least creative about it or provide something that really is worth crowing about. It is a lot easier said than done, although I would encourage everyone to do the same. It is a refreshing way to live. I am not saying buy cheap or crappy products, just keep an eye out for those that seem more interested in providing good product as opposed to finding another place to slap a logo and build revenue.

Earlier, I wrote that advertising can be a great thing for a little company just starting out and trying to make a name for itself. I still believe that. But when everyone is so tired of all advertising to the point I am, where we just begin to ignore all of it, what hope does that little guy have? He has very little hope, unfortunately; although, realistically he probably has a lot more than I care to admit. If he can be loud enough, obnoxious enough and everywhere at once, he will be just fine. He’ll grow up to be a big, strong corporation that puts its name and logo EVERYWHERE, just in case we forget who they are. And the cycle continues unabated.

This has been brought to you by the fine people at Kylerstar, Inc.