Frustrated Incorporated

I find it amazing how a few triggers can bring back a flood of memories and feelings. They swarm you with remembrances of times gone by and hopes and dreams forgotten. It is astounding how they can seem so innocent by themselves, but combined they can bring about powerful feelings and emotions.

I have had two of these triggers in the past few days that made me think of another time in my life. The first trigger was a film. I took in Clerks II this weekend. If you are a Kevin Smith fan, you will enjoy it. It has plenty of his dick and fart jokes, as he likes to say. It also has a great deal of heart, in my opinion. One line that stuck with me was something Randal said. As he was talking with Dante about life, and I must paraphrase here since I have only seen the film once, Randal says ‘I think life left us behind a long time ago.” I thought this was a very poignant line and it stuck with me long after the film. I know myself, and I am sure more than a few others my age, also feel this way. Sometimes it seems as though we have been sucked into the machine that, while we may not have raged against, we certainly distained and looked upon with dread and disgust. And suddenly, before we even knew it, we found ourselves grinding the gears to said machine. It felt as though our ideas of what the world should be and could be were discarded and without fanfare or struggle we were easily assimilated into the machine.

The other was just something funny a friend from college sent me. It was innocuous, one of those you know you went to type of lists with a variety of things listed that you could only associate with if you went to that particular school. I found it quite funny, and it brought back good memories and put a smile on my face. I remembered some fun times at the locations, the atmosphere, the time I spent there, the friends I met and lost to time and distance and the ones that I have kept through thick and thin and to changes in our lives. It made me feel good, warm and nostalgic. But after reading it, and in the best net tradition forwarding it to others I went to school with, something else hit me. I miss that time a lot more than I ever thought I would.

I know they say that college is the best 4, or 5 or 6, years of your life. At the time I railed against such sayings. Even now I rail against it. I refuse to believe that my life peaked before I really got a chance to live it. And I still believe the best times are still ahead. As I grow older and gain wisdom and experience, I find myself enjoying things more, cherishing moments more and willing to try things that I never thought possible. I look forward to more experiences, adventures and friendships as time goes on and hope to enjoy as much that this world has to offer as I travel down the road of life.

But college had something that I now realize I can never get back. And it is not so much the collegiate experience itself, but more along the lines of that time in life. A time when you are young and carefree, and you look upon the world with fresh eyes. You see the possibilities of not only what your life can be, but of what the world can be as well. You think that you can make things better, change the world and make a difference. You are beginning to see what it is like to live on your own and create a life for yourself. Everything is new and fresh and each experience is eye opening, fascinating and exciting. You tentatively leave the safety and comfort of home for the very first time, walking on legs that feel newborn, into the unknown. You meet people that you had never thought you would meet, and learn things that evoke wonder and amazement, and I am not even speaking of the class work. I am speaking of learning about the world from others whose experiences differ from yours in ways you may never have thought possible. You begin to learn and experiment with ideas, dreams and socialization. It is a time when we try new things and turn them from scary and fraught ridden to an almost everyday thing, as familiar and comfortable as an old pair of jeans. As you navigate through four years of learning, growing and experiencing, you begin to build a foundation for your life and who you want to be. By the end of your time in school, you cannot wait to get out and try everything you learned in the real world. You are ready to start your life, to grab at the brass ring, to change the world. Seemingly ready for what life will throw at you, you say goodbye to the haven of academia, the friends and the familiarity to take on the world. It is only then that we realize it is not all it is cracked up to be.

It is only when we get out into the real world, when we start making our way that we learn the real truth about life that was never taught in any class. Life is a struggle, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. It is hard to establish yourself in the world, to get a toehold and a grip and hold on to a world bucking to throw you to the gutter like so many others who came before you with big dreams and tons of naiveté. The challenge mentally of holding on to what you want to do and keeping your dreams while doing what you need to survive. This is something that can tear you apart not only mentally, but spiritually and emotionally. I myself have struggled with this since graduation, and still do to this day. I fear I may struggle with it until I pass from this mortal coil.

You find that life is nothing but a series of compromises, to yourself, your dreams, to others, to your desires and to your wishes and hopes for the better life and a better world. One that while preparing for life, you once thought was just a few steps ahead and all you needed to do was jump to grab it. You find out painfully that they may always be a few steps ahead, no matter how hard you try and strive for it. These compromises roll onto you like the tide, coming one after another and slowly dulling those fresh and wondrous eyes you once looked upon the world with into empty vessels. They leave them stripped bare, looking upon a world that appears as if there is no hope left for anything better for anyone, let alone you. They leave those newborn legs you once trotted into the world on broken and bruised, shuffling from one meaningless task to another, all seemingly pointless yet needing to be done, because that came with one of the compromises. With the growing wisdom that comes with age and experience also comes increased cynicism and skepticism, leaving their marks on your mental and emotional landscape. You find yourself frustrated that it keeps taking longer and longer to achieve anything, let alone the important things for which you want and hope. The frustration also rears its head in your attempts to grow, to learn or to become something more. Mostly you become frustrated because the dreams and hopes you once held cherished in your heart are not happening despite your best efforts. And with a growing sadness and resignation, you find they are also disappearing, becoming marginalized or replaced by much smaller and minimal dreams and hopes. This frustration leads to disappointment, diminishing hope, apathy and emptiness. With the world hammering you from all sides with the realities of life you never expected, the sadness of the state of affairs across the globe, the seemingly bottomless reserves of hate and anger that flow through everything and the almost non-existent happiness in most people and endeavors, hope leaves you. Surrounded by those that seem to focus on things that mean little in the macrocosm, bent on destruction of others for petty reasons, reveling in ridiculous personal vendettas; your eyes close to the world around you. Watching how corporations, countries and the world treat individuals and the disenfranchised, your dreams of something better implode. You find yourself with the dreams dashed, the wonder gone, the eyes dulled and the feelings of something better fleeting and vanishing. You make one more compromise to hold onto whatever feelings you can get back, if only to briefly touch that nexus that once seemed to envelope you. And the next thing you know, you have been trudging in the machine for 10 years and you wonder to yourself, how did I get here, how do I get out, and is there any hope left for something better.

I have no idea to those questions. I am struggling to find an answer myself. All I know is those to triggers really impacted hard on my psyche. I miss those times, as I mentioned before, much more than I ever thought I would. I miss the feeling of something new and fresh. I miss the wonder of looking upon things for the first time. I miss meeting new friends in droves, all with the same hopeful optimism as myself. I miss the carefree and wildness of the time, of setting your own schedule, breaking the bonds of structure and parental control and screaming wild into the world. I miss flying about as though your hair was on fire in an attempt to try everything, see everything and do everything. I miss the feelings of being unfettered and free, without the responsibilities of rent and car payments and a 9-5 job and all of the other responsibilities that seem to creep into our lives at an ever increasing pace the older we get. The feelings of freedom, wonder, nervousness, invincibility and of being scared and thrilled by almost everything that invariably fade and dull over time due to experience and growth. I miss all of those feelings that course through us at that age. I miss learning about what I like, dislike, care about, what is important, what drives me and all the things about those I care about for the first time. I miss the ideas of changing the world, grabbing it by the tail and swinging as hard as I can. I miss the hope that the world can be made better, that evil in all forms can be overcome and defeated, that good will triumph over said evil, that there is a line between good and evil and that those who seek to do good will be trumpeted and those who seek evil will be vanquished. I miss the optimism and the lack of cynicism. I miss the naiveté of and surety of youth. Most of all, I miss the dreams. I miss the dream that something great and wonderful was in store for us, and it was just around the corner and all we had to do was go and get it. We were smart enough, strong enough, determined enough and dedicated enough that all we had to do was charge ahead, and the wondrous world would come to us, and we would meet it head on and both would be better for it. I miss the dream that you could change the world one person at a time and make things better for all. I miss the dreams, wonder and hope. I do not want to go back and relive those times; the past is there for a reason, as is the future. But I would give almost anything to get the freedom back, to feel hope again, to be filled again with wonder, to look upon the world once more with fresh eyes and feel like I can not only dream of something greater, but make it come true.

System test in progress...

I have been giving some thought lately to how I want to use this forum. So far I have enjoyed taking the time to construct opinion pieces regarding thoughts that have been swimming through my mind. I like talking about things that do not always come up in everyday conversation, and some that do. It is fun to go off on a jag about things that are meaningless, but a part of our society nonetheless. I like talking about sports, movies and other ridiculous entertainment items just as much as everyone else. And with the new NFL season beginning soon and my Steelers preparing to defend their championship, I can almost guarantee that I will be writing more about the NFL. Scratch that, I guarantee it. Like everyone, I am distracted from more important issues by entertainment. In the grand scheme of things, does football really matter? Does the actions of one team playing a children’s game really matter? No, it does not. But it is fun, and what is life without a little fun?

And that is what entertainment should be. It should be fun. We should enjoy the distraction it provides, but that is it. It should be distraction, not focus. Too many of us focus on it with a zealot’s attention. We are all guilty of it. I find it disturbing sometimes how much useless information I have absorbed over the years. Sure, it makes playing Trivial Pursuit interesting, but is it something for which to be proud? I guess it depends on your point of view. One thing that is fun is coming up with titles for these little written jaunts. I must say, it does make me feel creative and a bit goofy and it is immensely enjoyable. But I digress from my point.

While I like the entertainment and distractions life has to offer, I enjoy more thinking and writing about more important subjects. I like to think that by sharing these thoughts, it may spur discussions and ideas in others. I would like to believe that maybe with a little more thought on things like these, we would all start paying more attention to how the world is and want to change. And with these ideas and discussions circulating more, actions would start taking place of the discussions and we as a people would really start to make our world a better place. But mostly, I like to think I can start becoming the person I want to be.

I have thought that this could be a good moral compass for myself. I have always thought of myself as a good person who tries to do the right thing. And for the most part I am. I am helpful to my friends and family, I look out for those I care about, I try to be polite and courteous to everyone I meet, no matter how much they may irk me or treat me poorly. But I would like to be more than that. I would like to affect real change. Get others thinking and acting as well. Putting time and effort forth to making things better to the point where paying attention to nonsensical things like sports and entertainment will not be a distraction, but a focus. And by that I mean we have made the world so much better, that as a world society we have put aside our differences and want to enjoy a better world. An impossibility, maybe, but we have to strive for something better. I want to make a positive mark on the world so when I leave this mortal coil and move on to the next life that awaits us all, I can say with honesty that I tried and left a better world for those that come after me. Now, I am far from perfect. Like everyone, I have made bad decisions in my life, treated people unfairly and poorly at times and let petty slights and emotions get the better of me. I have allowed myself to focus on the wrong things in life and got myself angry for things that matter not in the macrocosm of the world. But I know I have the capability to be something more. I do not want to think I am a superior human being and come from a superior place than most just because I think these things. No way. I am just as good and bad as most people. I just want to keep focused on things that matter, and I think I can help myself with this forum. Now, like most things, that sounds great in theory, but how will practice go? I don’t know. I have no ability to predict the future. And come November when I am probably writing my 9000th article about the Steelers and have written 1 in that time about other ideas, this will probably look like a fairly stupid post. But you know what, I still would like to try. I think there is a balance there that we all can strike. A balance between enjoying the fruits of our society with entertainment and theme parks and films while at the same time working to improve that same society by improving and encouraging education, meeting each other halfway in our differences in culture, religion and belief systems as well as putting some focus on science and exploration and learning more about this fantastic world, galaxy and universe in which we all reside. As the saying goes, knowledge is power, right? I do not believe it is impossible to have this kind of world. And I would like to try. But like everyone I need to remind myself of these things. I guess that is what I would like of this. A reminder that no matter what nonsense is going on out there, there are more important things in the macrocosm of things that we should all ponder and strive for while enjoying our world as well. Shouldn’t we all do that? Perhaps if we all had a sticky note like that, we could rid ourselves of our petty problems and make the world better.

Large and in charge

I have been contemplating the sad state of politics and the apathy of such in our country. Why those we put in charge seem to be more interested in name calling and mudslinging toward each other than actually doing anything to make the world better. Turn on any news channel and there is always some talking head yelling about how the other party is nothing more than a liberal warmonger whose personal presence and party will be the ruination of us all. Why they spend so much time trashing each other instead of finding ways to work together and make the world better is beyond mystifying to me. The sad part of politics is that there are no real party differences. They are basically two sides of the same coin. Each one legislates from different angles, but with the same results. The republicans say they legislate the way they do for your safety and security. The democrats say they legislate the way they do because they know what is good for you more than you do. A country that was founded on freedom and personal choices had become nothing but a herd of led sheep being placed by our rancher leaders in smaller and smaller corrals, squeezing us for more and more wool to make them greater and greater profits, myself included. And much like the frog in the frying pan, we seem to not notice nor care that heat keeps turning up until we will be frying. Each party says that they stand for the good of the people, and they are right, they do. However, they never distinguish which people they work to improve. The sad fact is that only their friends, business associates and assorted cronies to which they are beholden truly benefit from their work. Most of these people can be found in the various contractors, special interest groups and lobbying firms and their assorted organizations that litter political centers across the country. The average person, whom goes to work and lives paycheck to paycheck, is nothing more than an afterthought to those in power. They do not care if these people live or die, and if you doubt that, take a tour of New Orleans now almost a year after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina. Politicians do not affect change nor do they want it. They can through political machinations create the wealth and power they have always wanted, and will not let anything rock that boat. Come election time, they always speak of change, changing the system, changing things to work better and to improve life for everyone. But once they are once again safely ensconced back into the halls of power, it is business as usual. Acquire power and wealth, insure the stability of your family and friends at the expense of others and maintain the status quo. Business as usual.

Now, I do not want to speak of all politicians in such a way. I know that there are those in our public offices that truly do want to affect real change, and are striving for a better world for all of us. To these dedicated public servants, I tip my hat. However, there are too few of these men and women in office. And these people are outmanned, outspent and outgunned in their efforts for change compared to those who prefer the status quo and the power and money it brings them. And unfortunately, as will happen, some of these dedicated servants eventually fall to the greed and tire of the fight that seems unwinnable and become just like those whom they are fighting. Apathy and the easy path strikes everywhere and can bring down even the most idealistic amongst us.

This, unfortunately, is nothing new. The difference now is twofold. The first is that with far more information sources at our fingertips, we find it much easier to really see the truth about their actions. And if you have trouble finding it, use one simple guideline. Follow the money. That will usually lead to the proper answer as to why most of them do what they do. They are in it for money, and the more they can take from you, the better off they are. Kickbacks, donations, fundraisers galore abound, usually funded rather shadily from special interests and lobbyists that are hoping to curry favor when a particular bill comes through. Some sit on boards of companies and organizations that are looking to curry governmental favor, and then they are present when a bill comes up for vote that could help said company. Conflict of interest? Not in our governments. And the most obvious of disgusting avarice, the pay raise. This has always chaffed me that they can get away with voting themselves a hefty cost of living pay raise, while they constantly stonewall the same for minimum wage. These people, many of which are millionaires, refuse to give a helping hand to those who live paycheck to paycheck and are one bad instance away from living on the street, where more and more people are ending up nowadays. Many of these public servants have no trouble claiming power and wealth on the backs of the disenfranchised, with only a promise of better times ahead for them, which is worth about as much as the voting card they used to put them in office.

The second is difference is the quality of candidates. Since Kennedy’s presidential election, running for office has become about image, not substance. Now it is about how you make the electorate feel, how to make them believe far more than your ability to lead. A maddening statement, but that makes it no less true. Those in office are aware of this. But it is not only how you portray yourself, but also your opponent. The election process has descended into not how you can help the world, but how badly your opponent will screw it up if you are stupid enough to elect them. It has become nothing more than a playground mudslinging contest into which no one wants to step. Truly qualified candidates with intelligence and compassion no longer wish to be a part of this process, because they do not want to go through the character assassination that inevitably accompanies any political race. Look at John Kerry, a man who served our country in Vietnam, a very unpopular war. He allowed Bush and his team to assassinate his character and war record in an attempt to keep office, and it succeeded. Now, I personally did not care for either candidate, but I will never understand why Kerry did not stand up and say, look, you can say whatever you want, but when my country called upon me, I answered proudly and served. Where were you when your country called? Why did a man, despite how you may feel about politics or where you stand on the political spectrum, allow himself to be ripped apart by a group of jackals where the closest action any of them saw was from the inside of a war room sending more of the disenfranchised to early deaths? I will never understand this. And this is just one example of why people that could truly affect change will never run. They do not want to see themselves crucified upon the altar of television for the benefit of percentage polls. Mr. Smith has given up on Washington, he would rather stay home and help build Mr. Bailey’s bank into a multi-national billion dollar concern.

To compound this, most of us do not care. We are too addled on personal nonsense, fast food and American Idol to care what goes on in the halls of power. And as we get older, we care less and less. Why? Because caring and trying to change the world requires effort, learning and work. Yes, work, which most of us are too tired and distracted to do because we spend our days frantically trying to carve out a little piece of existence, which thanks to those in power, becomes harder and harder to do with each passing year. Thanks to lower wages, less job security, outsourcing to other countries for cheap labor, rising prices for goods and services and a constituency that could care less, we are all working far harder for even the smallest sliver of the good life pie. Add to that trying to raise a family in a tumultuous world where the questions are far outnumbering the answers, it is no wonder no one has any time or inclination to learn and work and affect true change. We are all lulled into a lifestyle where by the time we have scraped what we can out of life, exhausting ourselves in the process, we have no time nor brain capacity to do much more than vegetate to stupid entertainment. Now, I love stupid entertainment, probably more than the next person, but it should be what it is, a distraction, not our main focus.

And those in power know this, and love it. The more apathetic we become, the more secure in their positions they feel. And as a consequence, they are more willing to do whatever they please with no real consequence to their actions. What is the worst consequence they could suffer, losing their seat? No problem, they will do lucrative speaking tours, followed by joining their company boards to make money, perhaps join a lobbying firm or a think tank. There is a lot of money available in all of those avenues. I once thought a good idea would be term limits. Make some of these career politicians work for a living. But that is no longer the answer. According to an article in the Los Angeles Times, many former legislators and staffers find lucrative second careers in lobbying firms. Here they know the ins and outs of the political process and can easily move through the halls of power. They have remained friends with many of those still in the halls of power and find it much easier to push through the agendas for which they work. How does that help the people? I know the argument, that lobbying firms try to help push through legislation that can make cars safer, food better, skies cleaner. Yes, there are those that exist. But for every one of those, there are five more that want to push through legislation to loosen clean air restrictions to make it more profitable to make products, or want fewer inspections on corporate farming. You want an eye opener on how these work, I highly recommend Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser. This book is not only great because of how it shows the true nature of lobbyists and special interests and how they really affect our world, but also how the fast food industry really is able to give you so much inexpensive food. And sadly, that covers only a few industries. Like I said before, follow the money, it will lead you to the real reason why people do things.

So what is the solution? What can we do to really change ourselves for the better? The founding fathers of our nation wrote in the constitution that if the system no longer works, tear it down and start again. Are we at that point? Should we start all over? I believe that if they saw us today, they would all be disappointed in what we have become. I do not know if starting from scratch is the answer. But is our system even fixable at this point? I hate to be one of those who points out the problems, and does nothing to offer a solution. But the only one I can see is for us to start working. Roll up our sleeves and realize we are a great people, and we are better than this. We have all the resources needed right at our fingertips to make sure no one who calls this country home needs to go to bed hungry. Anyone who wants to work can, and those that do not, well, they need to get on board with the rest of us and fast. It will take all of us, no slackers anymore. The only way to find if this will work is if we have a change of consciousness in our country, where we care again, and are willing to work and try to make our lives, those of our neighbors and our world a better place. Call me cynical, but I do not see that happening anytime soon. And unfortunately, that is how those in charge would like to see it stay.

Are you being sarcastic? I don't even know anymore.

Well, it would seem that so much for my carved out time. I have made a more concerted effort this week to make time. After all, if this is so important to me, then time for writing should be a great priority. As I mentioned before, real life will intrude, and I will have an article regarding that soon. In the meantime, something is sticking in my mind.

I am not one that is large on awards shows. They are pointless, and generally nothing more than self-congratulatory schmoozing fests. But, they can be fun and entertaining and, especially with the Oscars, it is fun to see clips of shows and movies that you have not seen and may want to, and a fun reminder of the ones you have seen. Mostly, though, they are just pats on the back for people who do little more than entertain us, a profession that for some reason has risen further in rank and stature in our society than that of any scientist, researcher or statesman combined. This in my opinion is truly sad.

However, I do not put myself above anything of the sort. I enjoy a raucous good show as much as the next person, especially if it involves something that means a great deal to me. So with this, I tuned in the other evening to the ESPYs, ESPN's version of the Oscars. I tuned in to watch the Steelers win for Best Team. Yes, five months after their Super Bowl win, I am still a sucker for anything Pittsburgh. The show itself was fairly pointless, with an odd mix of staged hijinx, stale humor and an odd section of the show that discussed the triumph of human will and sports over hatred and genocide. Not a bad show, just an odd show. But this show is not what I wanted to make a point about, merely a tangent so I can mention the Steelers once more before the fun is taken away.

What I wanted to bring up was what I watched before the show. As I waited for the ESPY's, I caught the most recent edition of Sportscenter. During the episode, I saw a new segment called My Wish, where they grant a sports themed wish to someone. In this episode, they showed a piece about a young boy with leukemia. A sad story, the boy at one point had given up hope, and accepted the idea of dying before truly experiencing life. His mother kept encouraging him to try more treatments, to keep fighting, if not for himself, then for the family that loved him dearly and did not want to see him go. And the boy did, he kept trying. He began to get better, showing signs of improvement. As this bright dawn began, his mother passed away. At this point it did not seem like a story for Sportscenter, but then the catch came. The young man's favorite athlete is Kobe Bryant. And one wish he would love to have is to meet him. Through the miracle of Sportscenter, the young man gets to meet Kobe. They spend a great afternoon playing video games and competing. And then, they play a little hoop, with Kobe showing him a few pointers followed by a rousing game of horse. A nice touching story of putting a little sunshine into the life of one who desperately could use it.

Now, call me callous, cynical, hateful, mean or just plain cold hearted, but the whole thing smacked of public relations to me. They had cameras all over the boy and his family leading up to the big moment. They even had a staged looking setup for the meeting, where Kobe, being led by a camera, suddenly shows up into their lives to give this young man the afternoon of his life. The boy and Kobe were also obviously miked, so the surprise and shock of him and his family suddenly meeting Kobe just felt very forced to me. And Kobe giving the young man a fully loaded game card right before the two went tearing through the arcade? Yeah, like that card came from anywhere but the ESPN budget.

Here's my question, for exactly who's benefit was this little endeavor? The boy? Perhaps. He definitely could use a bright spot in his life. And I'm sure there was a moment when he was surprised and excited that he would be meeting his sports hero. And I do not want to take anything away from his enjoyment, he did have fun and I am very glad for him. But no, it did not feel like it really was for his benefit.

My guess it is for ESPN and Bryant. ESPN, because then they get to look like this benevolent organization that goes out of its way to help those in need and try to make someone's life better, even, or especially, if its just a young fan. And Bryant, who comes off as being magnanimous with his time and knowledge to spend it with this brave young man. What a great guy! Yes, taste the sarcasm.

Look, I have no problem with those of fame and fortune doing for those without. I think everyone should, and it should not be limited to those with fame and fortune. All of us who can should put some effort into making the world better, even if in just a small way, for everyone. But when you have to advertise and show off how much good you are doing, it takes away the point of doing good. Perhaps I am too cynical, or maybe like many I see through the machine now, but I don't care for those who stand up and say, look at me, see all the good things I do? It means I am a good person, right? Wrong. Doing good should be something that comes natural, something you want to do, and something you do for the reward of knowing you made your world better and nothing more. Like the saying goes, a good deed is it's own reward. The Make A Wish Foundation and other organizations of this nature strive every day to bring joy into the lives of young boys and girls faced with the horror of knowing their time with us is painfully short. They try to give each of these brave souls a moment like this that they can cherish as their time becomes shorter and the road harder for them. These people are truly good people that do care. And there are many of the famous from all areas of entertainment and sports that are more than happy to help these organizations with personal appearances and spending time with these children as well as volunteer efforts and donations. What is the difference you ask? These organizations and celebrities, after helping someone, do not go running to the nearest mountaintop to shout, "hey, I'm wonderful, I spent some time with a kid today and made his life better, if only for the moment!" No, they go about their work, knowing full well the consequences and situations of those they are working hard to bring joy to without the need for a thank you or a pat on the back. That is the difference.

I know I may be off base. Perhaps the point of the EPSN segment is to bring more light on these situations and show us all a heartwarming story that may help spur the rest of us into action. And perhaps Bryant himself had heard of this young man and was so moved that he felt compelled to meet him. Do I believe these are possible? Of course. Do I believe they are likely? No. Yes, the world may have made me too cynical. Because when I see something like that, all I see is people in power and multi-national corporations exploiting the weak, sick and the poor for their own benefit, be it image, money, power or fame. This is nothing new, turn anywhere anymore and you will see the same thing. I just did not ever think I would see it so blatantly on a sports newscast. Really brings to home how meaningless the games we love truly are.

Real Life Intertudes

Ok, so now I cannot blame laziness for my lack of productivity. I have been busy enjoying a life lived, as opposed to a life observed. The past few weeks have been a flurry of activity, enjoying what life has to offer, great food, enjoyable experiences and the company of friends. Things we should all enjoy. I know there will be a time in a few months when I will be bemoaning the lack of plans or get togethers, but not today. I have been to dinners, saying goodbye to friends moving on to another stage of their life, and to barbeques, celebrating companionship, friendship and general good times. Tonight, I shall enjoy music and images from my youth as I indulge in a performance of Looney Tunes music with some fellow music and cartoon aficionados. I may be technically an adult, but some things are always enjoyable.

And while all of these activities and socializing have been great fun, and there is more on the way, it has left me with two big problems. One, with all the great food, I have been doing terrible in my overall plan to eat well. I know after next week, it will be easier to eat well, but getting there will require me to navigate a minefield of delectable delights. Oh the horror! I know that sounds so foolish, but I do want to remain at least the somewhat thinner version of me I have created over the past year. Perhaps it is time to look into, gasp, exercise! Oh no! I have a goal to reach, and while these events are obstructions to that goal, I will not let them divert me from it.

The other problem created is the lack of time. With working all day and then spending many nights out and about, I find very little time to either read, a great passion, or write, which I find essential. As the saying goes, you can't win if you don't wrassle. I have been struggling to find time to do everything. Unfortunately, so many things keep getting pushed off. I found a small window of time to write this, and hopefully this will help get me back on track. I have a few great ideas to explore, and I do not want to lose them into the ether of my mind. I have lost far too many things there. I wonder if I will ever find them one day. Regardless, I have carved out some time in the near future to throw a few ideas out and see what sticks. Stay tuned.