It Tolls for Thee

I had planned on taking a break today. The last few articles felt rushed or ill thought out, nothing struck me as good. Perhaps that is me being overly critical, perhaps an honest assessment. Plus, I wanted to look upon writing something fun, to break up the monotony of me on my ridiculous soapbox. But, as always, real life rears its ugly head and something occurred that I felt compelled to write and share.

I found out today that a friend of mine suffered a loss. His father passed away earlier this week, complications from a head injury. This was definitely not expected, one of those accidents that occur and throw our lives into a loop. I feel for him; it must be very difficult to have a parent suddenly pass away, leaving you wondering why. I know the road ahead of him will not be easy, learning to move on without his father there to offer advice, joke with and just be around. Another friend of mine lost her mother suddenly as well a few years ago. The road she traveled was difficult, and I do not even pretend to understand it. She has come out a stronger person, even though I know she still misses the relationship she had with her. Several other friends of mine have lost parents as well, before I ever became friends with them. I never had the privilege of knowing them, only their wonderful sons and daughters who have enriched my life.

Upon hearing then news, I did flash back to when my friend lost her mother. How all of us pulled together to help in any way we could. People put aside petty squabbles and arguments to help, looking out only for our friend and her family, now left without their matriarch. At that time, I felt closer to all of them than I ever had before. I knew that we would always be there for each other, no matter how crazy we are or the stupid stuff we argue about and get in a froth over. They are all, deep down, fantastic people that when the chips are truly down, I know I could count on them for anything. Since finding out about our friend who lost his father, I have already seen the same kind of push, even though his family lives far away from us. It warms my heart to know that we all can come together in moments like this and work to pick each other up and help us get past a tragedy of this nature. One no one ever wants to face, but eventually we all must.

When I heard about my friend losing his father, it struck me very close to home. I know I will be forced to face this one day. Even though I deny it to myself, I know deep down I will, and I will not like it. I also know that, barring an unforeseen accident, I will more than likely have to face losing my father first. I have written previously about my father, and a bit about our relationship. My father will be 65 this year. Not that old in terms of life span, but they are 65 hard years. My father worked hard all of his life, doing all kinds of labor. Usually, his job required him to be working outside, in all types of weather, doing things most of us would blanch at. He always said he worked so hard so my brother and I would not have to, so we could have opportunities he never had. I have always been greatly appreciative of his work, and how he instilled in me many of the things that make me who I am, and the sacrifices he made for me. In the past few years, he has been slowed considerably by the effects of this hard life. He has had heart surgery, which took much of the swing out of him, and has had many smaller problems due to complications from such a surgery since then. He has had to give up many things he liked because of it, and now takes medication due to the surgery that he will need to take for the rest of his life. He seems slower as well, not as quick as he used to be. It has been hard for him, being the type of guy who has always been strong and able. I know there are times when he feels down about not being the rock. When I was a kid, my dad was the biggest, toughest guy I knew. Even if some other guy would be taller, I knew my dad could whip his ass. My brother and I would hang off of his arms like a jungle gym, and we thought it was the coolest thing. Even after we grew up, we still knew our dad was tough. I tower over my dad by 5 inches, my brother by 7, and even with this, when we were younger, we knew he could still take us. Now, we all know that is not the case. I think getting older has been hard for him. Although, being ever the jokester, he still says he could take me. I always agree.

He is still chugging along, though, as cantankerous as ever, and I hope that is the case for a very long time. He tries not to let getting older and the surgery get to him, and mostly he is successful. But there are times when he is far more reflective and contemplative. He is honest with me and with himself and he knows the days behind far outnumber the days ahead. I know one day he will not be here. I also know that no matter how much I recognize this, I am not ready, nor ever will be ready, to face that.

I hate to think of these things, but moments like this force it to the front of our minds. Make us look realistically at our lives and situations. When I hear about someone losing a loved one, my first reaction is always with sympathy and wondering how I can be of a help, in any small way. But my second one is a far scarier thought. Deep down, a cold chill always runs through me, and that thought bursts into my mind before I can stamp it down. One day, you will get that call. It is a horrifyingly morbid thought, and I hate to think it, I hate to even contemplate it. But it is there. It lingers behind other things in my mind. Always hiding out of sight until something like this happens, and then it slides out in all its terrifying glory, ready to pounce on my already saddened state. I hate it. I wish I did not think of such things. Some might say I am preparing for what will one day happen. Yes, perhaps. But I never want it to happen. And no matter how much I may prepare, I will never be ready. One day I may accept it, but I do not want it. I know death is the natural progression of life, I understand that. I also know in my heart that greater things await us after this life. I know some do not believe that, but I do. And I know when someone close to you passes on, you should celebrate their life, celebrate the time you had with them, and celebrate everything they were and made you. I know I know I know. None of that makes it any easier.

A third reaction enters my mind in times like these. It moves quickly to eradicate the second one, canceling out its chilling effects with warmth and love. That thought is how happy and glad I am to have my parents. I have always felt loved and cared for by my parents. They have always stood by me no matter what, and have always been supportive and encouraging in everything I have done. I never thought too much about the relationship I have with them until I started to make my way in the world. I have met many people since I first left home to venture out into the world, and I have met many people that have had horrible relationships with their parents. Some did not even speak with them any longer. Some never knew one parent, having grown up with only one. Some fought constantly with theirs, and some just did not care for them at all. After hearing some stories, I was always grateful about how great my parents are. I know nowadays when people tout how odd they are and how dysfunctional their family is, I always touted the opposite. I touted how great and normal my parents are and how much of a great relationship we have. Now, we have had our share of problems, and then some I am sure. But I always felt love from them, I never worried about things with them around. They always made sure they took care of us, no matter the sacrifice. These are things I can never repay or even begin to show the proper amount of gratitude toward. The sacrifices both my father and my mother made for me and my brother are incalculable. I know these may seem like common sense things, of course they took care of you, they are your parents, that is what they are supposed to do. But too many parents are neglectful, and not just with monetary or material goods, but with kindness, compassion and love. I never felt that with my parents. I know that I am extremely lucky to have them. I know that is also why I want to keep them around for a very long time.

At the moment I live far away from my parents. I moved away to try to make something of myself, where there might be more opportunities for me. I still do not know if I have, but they seem proud of me. I have built a nice little life so far, and I am working on making it even better. But part of me always wonders if I am cheating myself out of precious time with my parents. As I get older, and spend more time away, I tend to feel guilty about not being closer to them. Not being able to stop in and say hi once in a while. I call them each week, and never miss a week ever. I visit at least twice a year, and always spend the majority of my time with them. But, I sometimes feel that is not enough. Not enough for them, or me. I never want to have regrets, so I always take the time in life to try something new. I never want to one day say, oh, I wish I had done that; it might have been an amazing experience. I never want to say, either, that I should have lived closer to home. It is a fine line, for sure. I hope I have not fallen off.

I feel for my friend, and I know he is probably having a tough time right now. I hope that I can be of some help to him in some way. I hope that he finds his way and is able to come out stronger. I hope one day I will be able to do be strong and find my way after losing someone close to me. And I hope that day is many, many years from now.

Off Target Demographic

Not too long ago, I wrote a bit regarding advertising. If you did not see it, nor care to, the basics were that I did enjoy advertising and found it can be creative and useful, but certain ones drove me batty. I took a select few and then proceeded to rail on them. Of course, there are new advertisements that come out everyday, and new ones that bug me. I certainly do not want to rehash a column, and that is not what I am here to do. I have a something else to share. But before that, here are a few items that I have seen lately that I have to wonder about.

Cell phones are amazing today, and can do almost anything. But can they make a call?

Why do advertisements for Kentucky Fried Chicken feature the song Sweet Home Alabama?

How exactly, Old Navy, am I supposed to get my Fash’ On?

Why do all radio commercials seem to be trying to create an image of people just hanging out and talking about their products? I would never go into detail about all the fine things I can find at said retailer with my friends. And I doubt most kids even know what a credit union is, let alone how WONDERFUL they are for the community.

If a woman started reading the product description off of a bottle of KY, and the man then dropped everything he was doing, would they really just snuggle fully clothed with stupid grins on their faces?

I like the Toyota Tacoma. I should buy one, because apparently, I’ll never get as much as a scratch on it.

How exactly is a middle aged guy singing a cheesy song supposed to help me enjoy my Snickers bar?

I don’t care how many people say it, they are not boneless Buffalo wings, they are chicken nuggets!!!!



Sometimes, I do not even think they give these commercials much thought before they air them. It seems as though they are too busy trying to be witty, funny and urbane than conveying anything about the product at hand or using any common sense. It does not even matter the market, product or medium. I think the only points they give any thought to are, how loud can we be, how obnoxious can we be, can we get these everywhere, did we include all races, sexes and religions in the ads, did we make sure not to offend anyone (except for those with common sense) and did we mention the company name at least 9000 times. They all seem to be riddled with stupidity and ridiculousness. These are only a handful of examples, there are hundreds more. I picked these up in my normal travails through the day. And that’s the something else I have to share. What drives me crazy anymore is not the stupidity of advertising, but the sheer volume.

From the moment we wake up, we are assaulted by advertising. Pretty much everyday, this is how it goes for me. Wake up to the radio alarm, and 9 times out of 10, when it goes off, it’s on a commercial break. Get in the shower, and it’s in front of me with my shampoo and soap. Grab my cereal, there it is again. Trundle into my car and on my way to work, boom, more visual assaults. Bumper stickers, billboards, restaurant and shop signs litter the sky with advertisements for anything and everything. Even the ground is littered with old fast food bags, grocery bags and discarded packaging that make the ground an advertising board. As I drive, more commercial breaks on the radio. Sometimes, if I am lucky, every station that I flip between will be on break at the same time! Cabs and busses are rolling billboards, covered in advertisements for everything from movies and auto repair shops to personal injury lawyers.

And this reminds me of something that has been bugging me for a very long time. Car dealers will put on all of their cars a license plate frame that says where the car comes from. Their way of plugging the dealership, this is fine. You must put the name somewhere, why not there. Now, when you purchase a car, the frame is in place, sometimes like a marker until you get your permanent plates. Again, I have no major problem. Here is what bugs me. To put on your license plate, you need to remove the screws, and therefore remove the frame. Why, on God’s green earth would you then replace the frame, and drive around as a billboard yourself for the dealer? Is it laziness? Is it stupidity? Are they paying you to keep that piece of plastic on your car? No? THEN WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE IT THERE? Don’t you see, they are using you as free advertising! People caught in traffic or at a stoplight or stop sign will let their eyes wander, and see that frame. They will go, you know, I have been thinking of a new car, maybe I will give Joe’s Dealership a try. You just gave Joe some business. Did Joe give you a commission? Did Joe knock off a few hundred bucks from your total price? Does Joe pay you a fee for advertising space? No, of course not, what business would? But like a bad business, you have provided a service without payment in return. So please, please, please for common sense’s sake and my sanity, take those damn things off! And for that matter, why do so many people feel the need to walk around and be personal billboards? Look, I am all about buying quality items, but that does not mean I need to buy ones that have the designer or store name on them. Everyone walks around and shows off their Prada bags or Hilfiger shirts or Sean John wardrobes or Gucci sunglasses, showing everyone how much they spent on their clothes. You know what else you bought with that nonsense? That is correct; you paid to use yourself as a billboard. You are basically paying a company to brand you with their name and logo. At least those goofs that get the tattoos of company names and logos make said companies pay them. Now that I have gotten that off my chest…..

Once I open my computer, boom, more advertisements. They come in a million different forms; the pop ups that most of us are able to block, advertising headers and footers on web pages, spam emails, 15 second clips before watching news or entertainment segments, and those uber annoying ones that just hover on the page itself, and it seems like it takes forever to find the close button. It is non-stop anytime I am on the computer. Ok, perhaps I will take in a movie. Nope, nothing is going to save me there. I know, movie theaters have always had their own form of advertisements, usually in the form of movie trailers and that fantastic lets all go out to the lobby song. You know you want to sing along. But now, get there like 15-20 minutes before the movie and see what is happening. For 5-10 minutes, they play a loop of still images with music that are constant ads. Then, they kick in 10 minutes of regular commercials. Then 10 minutes of trailers and then comes the theater plugs and the no smoking, no cell phones and shut up plugs. After all that, finally, they play the movie. By the time the movie starts, not only are my snacks gone, but I’m exhausted. Then I will escape to the beach. There is nothing to look at there except sand, the ocean and pretty people, right? Boy, am I wrong. All you have to do at the beach is look in the sky for your ad fix. Usually, it is littered with planes and helicopters dragging through the air gigantic banners that advertise everything. Although it seems I mostly see movie ads and condom ads. I wonder if there is a message there.

In the evenings, I try to relax with a nice walk, only to be assaulted once again from the inordinate amount of signage that is omnipresent. Perhaps a touch of television will soothe my nerves. Not if I am trying to get away from ads. They assault you from every channel, and I do mean assault. I will be sitting there watching a program, the show will go to commercial break and all of a sudden I am being screamed at about a product from a commercial at least 10-20 decibels louder than the program. And yes, they do this on purpose to get your attention. They know people leave the room for a kitchen run or bathroom break on commercials, so they want to make sure you hear it no matter where you are on your property, even if you own 100 acres. I am starting to get tendonitis in my thumb from having to constantly adjust the volume. Ok, maybe that is a slight exaggeration, but I would not be surprised to hear if someone suffers from that injury.

They are constant and never ending; before the program starts, after the title sequence, at least two more breaks per half hour, right before the credits and then right after again. Last time I checked, a half hour program was only 22 minutes, with the remainder 8 minutes being made up of advertising. Who wants to bet that goes to 20 and 10 within the next 3 years? Anyone? I did not think so. The only power I have is to Tivo programs so I can skip over the ads. Oh, Tivo, what a fantastic invention we have been given. But it only works so well. If I want to watch a sporting event, go Steelers, in real time, then I am stuck watching the ads. And do not even try to watch a NASCAR race and avoid advertising. That sport is built upon it. I would be willing to bet that more than a few other sports look upon them with envy and say often, oh how I wish we had started off incorporating advertising like that, then it would be acceptable. And I have noticed, it is not a large variety of ads, but 3-6 advertisers who buy into certain programs, and then beat them into your head ad nauseum, no pun intended. Take for example the Snickers ad I mentioned earlier. I was watching several programs on the NFL Network recently. In a two hour span, I saw that ad no less than 6 times. I am not kidding. I’m sure the Snickers people are saying, oooh, good coverage. No! I never want to buy Snickers again, and I like them.

And that is the crux of the problem. I am so burnt out from being constantly assaulted about what products to buy and where to shop and what to see and who to hire, I do not care to purchase or use any of it, even if it is a product or service I like. I go out of my way to ignore branding and advertising in all forms. I do not buy name brand clothing, so when I walk outside I do not feel like I am a billboard. I listen to music instead of radio when I can, to ignore the ads. I record as much TV as possible so I can skip commercials. I am not immune, though. I know when I wear my jersey when watching football; I am advertising the Steelers and the NFL. I know when I drive; I am a rolling advertisement for GM. As much as I try, there is no way to get around it if you actually use the products or services. And there is absolutely no way if you want to recommend something to anyone. You must do word of mouth advertising. Yesterday, I wrote about how I enjoyed programs on The Discovery Channel and The History Channel. Boom, I just played corporate stooge and gave then a free plug. Did I mean to? No, I just wanted to recommend them. But by doing that, I also advertised for them. Count back through this article, I there are no less than ten references to brand names most people recognize. Did I intend to advertise for them? No, but I needed to mention them to make a point. Whoops, free advertising from me I guess. What I do, though, is try to keep mine to a minimum, and only use those products that keep their branding to a minimum, are at least creative about it or provide something that really is worth crowing about. It is a lot easier said than done, although I would encourage everyone to do the same. It is a refreshing way to live. I am not saying buy cheap or crappy products, just keep an eye out for those that seem more interested in providing good product as opposed to finding another place to slap a logo and build revenue.

Earlier, I wrote that advertising can be a great thing for a little company just starting out and trying to make a name for itself. I still believe that. But when everyone is so tired of all advertising to the point I am, where we just begin to ignore all of it, what hope does that little guy have? He has very little hope, unfortunately; although, realistically he probably has a lot more than I care to admit. If he can be loud enough, obnoxious enough and everywhere at once, he will be just fine. He’ll grow up to be a big, strong corporation that puts its name and logo EVERYWHERE, just in case we forget who they are. And the cycle continues unabated.

This has been brought to you by the fine people at Kylerstar, Inc.

What was that nerd?

As I have gotten older, yes a whopping 32 now, I find myself interested in a great many things. I believe it stems from my never ending thirst for more knowledge and how as I have grown, more things are of interest now. One fascinating aspect of this is I find myself watching television shows that when I was younger, I rankled against as boring. The Discovery Channel and The History Channel are regularly checked now, when years ago; I would roll my eyes at watching something so boooooring! Now, I almost cannot get enough of them. Oh, some days I still need some mindless and stupid entertainment after a long day. Thank you Spike TV! But some days, nothing beats a little documentary. And these channels and many more, have hours of programming that can keep a mind occupied and attention rapt.

So the other day, I was indulging in one of these programs, an interesting one on The History Channel regarding engineering through time. The specific subject was on moving buildings. Most of us have heard this, and I am sure more than a few of us have actually seen this process. A building, perhaps one of historical note, must change location due to safety concerns, building preservation or urban renewal. Companies will come in and basically lift the building off the foundation and transport it to its new location. The processes they go through to do this and the equipment used are amazing. The precision and planning involved show great minds at work, being able to engineer these feats. I was at rapt attention for the entire program. They spanned the science of building moving for hundreds of years, and documented the changes in science, technology, methods and abilities throughout. One instance showed how a company moved a building, keeping intact their water, power and telephone services so those in the building could continue their business days while the building was being moved! And this took place in the 30’s. They showed how people in the 17th centuries and earlier would use pulley and capstan systems with manpower to move monuments and stone that weighed in excess of several hundred tons to move and place these behemoths with dead on precision. How they did it is almost unbelievable. And as I watched, I began to wonder. Are we really as advanced as a society and species as we like to believe?

What brought this to mind was the first part of the show, regarding moving buildings and monuments in the 16th centuries and earlier. It was not so much that they did not have the same equipment as we have nowadays; it is that they did not have the volumes of engineering principles to rely upon. These movers did not go through mounds of materials looking for information to assist in their efforts, they wrote them! These men were the ones who discovered the principles of pulleys and fulcrums and capstans. They experimented and showed how you can move something with hydraulic fluid. They did not have hundreds of years of information to glean through and improve upon, all they had were their minds and an understanding of mathematics, and even that they were writing and rewriting with each new discovery. The one move that stuck out in my head was the move of the monument of St. Peter to its current location outside of the basilica in the Vatican. The gentleman who made the move, largely unknown to us today, pulled off a feat that I doubt most could nowadays. He engineered the move using capstans, steel protectors, ropes and pulleys, wooden carts and a frame work and succeeded in moving this stone monolith several hundred feet and placing it atop a new base with pin point accuracy. No machines, pistons, hydraulics or motors, just the power of the mind and muscle. His plans even showed precise locations for each capstan, and how many men or horses were needed on each for the move to be successful. His plan was so well thought out, that even when one of the metal framework protectors sheathing the monument failed, the rest held and they were able to continue work. All of this was accomplished without the benefit of an MIT education.

Now I wonder, if we were able to accomplish so much then, without the benefits of the machines and computers we have created and only with our minds, can we accomplish as much now? Should we not be able to accomplish more? I know we have advanced quite far in the technological realm in the last century. The computer on which I write this piece tells me as much. But would we be able to understand how it was made and works without it? How dependant have we become on our machines? Technology proponents always say it helps make the little tasks faster, allowing people to be more productive. True, I do feel more productive. But is it also softening us, weakening our own computer in our noggin with our ever growing dependence on the ones on our desks?

I fear it might, although it is not the only culprit. A society that lauds pedestrian accomplishments and lionizes entertainment figures certainly plays a huge part. We basically ignore, ridicule and marginalize those who use their minds as opposed to those who use their bodies or minor talents. Many are jealous of Bill Gates and his wealth and power, but they ignore the fact that all of that came from using his mind. Well, and some business savvy of course. But he had an idea and worked and experimented and then brought in like minded individuals to improve and grow said ideas and add fresh ones to the mix. People will bemoan all he has, and then deride him and say, pfff he’s just a nerd. Why is that a bad thing? Here is someone who has accomplished more than most people could even dream, and there are those who still just marginalize him as a nerd. In his day, Einstein was feted for his knowledge and intellectual prowess. Now someone of that stature, if their even known to most, is ridiculed. The only exception seems to be Stephen Hawking, and I get a feeling that most do not ridicule mostly because of his debilitating physical condition. Now, if you were a fairly intelligent person, which path would you take? On one hand, years of hard work, study, learning and experimentation where after working so hard, learning, adding to the knowledge base of the world and potentially receiving success and looked upon as a leader in your area of expertise, you are still looked upon as a nerd and basically ignored and ridiculed. Or, on the other hand, you can achieve fame, fortune, celebrity and a comfortable life doing nothing more than parroting a silly catchphrase or show a willingness to marry a total stranger on TV. Now, which would you pick? I thought so too. And we cannot understand how our quality of education keeps plummeting. I think it’s pretty obvious, if no one is willing to do the work and learn, then no one is left to teach and instruct others. It is a vicious cycle that starts at the highest halls of academia and shifts in ever lowering standards and expectations all the way down to the first levels of education. No one wants to do the work. It is hard work, and involves a level of dedication and no major riches at the end of the tunnel. And to be looked upon derisively by following this path, who would want that?

The level of work involved, no major monetary gain, the butt of jokes, too much dependence on existing technology, it is pretty easy to see why the talent pool for science and technology keeps dwindling. And it keeps showing up more and more. Not long ago, when the president announced a renewed effort to travel to the moon, and then Mars and beyond, they spoke of the undertaking it would be to put together this kind of program. Daunting I am sure. But I heard and read more than once that they would need to start from scratch, and I wondered why? If I remember my history books, did we not do this once or twice already? I know the Mars aspect is new, but I know we have gone to the moon. Even stopped and had a coffee there. While I understand that many things have changed in the 30 plus years since last we trundled on the lunar surface, should not all the notes, records and information from that time provide a reliable basis for resurrecting the lunar program? Did nothing those men and women did, with not much more than slide rules, provide us with working templates and ideas for future travels? Or are we just that much dumber now, that everything they created, we cannot understand and must create new, with the help of our faster and more powerful computers? I am confused by this to say the least. Maybe I have become too dumb to understand.

I know it is easy to make fun of or ridicule things we do not understand. It allows us to have a certain level of power we feel is lacking in our lives. I know many of us feel we have no power or voice, that the world moves without us and does not need us. Plus, it is much easier to tear down something to gain this power than it is to learn and study to try to understand concepts foreign to us. We see this dynamic constantly in play with national relations, between religions and within our own social cliques. But that is the easy, and lazy, way out. We should not take the easy path; we should be striving for the more difficult one. We should strive for the path that will raise us into higher planes of thought, that helps advance all of us, opens our minds and shows us new and exciting things and allows us to advance further than even those at the top of the intellectual chain now never dared to imagine.

What I fear is that our priorities as a society are so far out of whack, that we may start regressing instead of advancing. With people focused on fashion, entertainment and a multitude of pointless, and mindless, distractions, we are not doing much to advance ourselves as a species. At some point, the balance will shift, and we will begin to focus solely on these pointless pursuits, eventually stagnating in our easy chairs covered in chip crumbs and wondering what is on next, instead of what is out there.

And Another Thing

I felt good about the last post. I felt like I really touched on something with that one. Perhaps I felt too good about it, since I just looked up and realized it was August. Luckily, I’ve thought of a few things since then. And while I do not know if any of them will strike me as much as that one, I’d still like to see where they go. So, if you will indulge me….

So lately I have had a few situations occur that have really rubbed me the wrong way. And they have all revolved around a difference of opinion. The differences are not what bother me, it is the way they were put forth, how I was looked upon for my opinion and the inflexibility of the differing opinions. These are the crux of my issue.

Now opinions, like the saying goes, are like assholes, everyone has one. I like to add to that that is why we have gas, because everyone likes to share their opinion. And as humans, we do love to share our opinion, on every subject imaginable. You can find the web littered with sites filled with people arguing about everything from the merit of Oscar nominated films to the best way to eradicate silverfish from your house. Television is rife with talking heads arguing about politics, the economy, the state of the world, the justification for the war to the best way to decorate your house on a budget and what you should and should not wear this season. It can be a fun exercise to sit with friends and argue about the best album of all time, or the most exciting roller coaster or your favorite movie. You make your case and listen to theirs, each person coming up with a new way to champion their side. You learn from it, seeing things from another perspective, grow a bit perhaps. Sure, you might not change your mind, but you expand your knowledge from it and also learn more about your friends from the sparring. What kind of person they are, what motivates and moves them, and what makes them tick.

Often though, it seems as though there are far more people arguing and spouting their opinions than there are people actually doing something. And yes, I do realize the irony of me writing an opinion about how there are too many people having opinions. Look, I do think we should be doing more and talking less. We should be more active, more involved, more willing as people to roll up our sleeves and get a little dirty to make our world better. But I can certainly not begrudge anyone who can find people to pay them to sit around and spout an opinion all day, whether it is informed or not. And let us be honest, most of these opinions are not informed. They are nothing more than generic platitudes and catchphrases put forth by self appointed experts that typically have no more answers or solutions to problems than you do. Not to get too far off on a tangent, but I have read better relationship advice on a fortune cookie than I’ve ever heard out of Dr. Phil. And these idiots on CNN and Fox News that boil down important, complex issues into such simplistic terms just so they can fit them into either a liberal or conservative pigeon hole and then sit there for a half hour and call each other said labels are about as intelligent as a piece of Formica. Seriously, how can you sit there and say, oh, if you don’t support the war you must be against America and therefore a commie liberal. Or the other side that says, oh, if you drill for oil you must be nothing short of the devil and therefore a totalitarian conservative. These, and many others, are very complex issues with many sides and shades of gray. And knowing politicians are involved, I am sure there are plenty of backroom handshakes and knowing winks and that none of it is good for the world in general and the people in particular. But just blindly splitting an issue down the middle and labeling each half for the sake of argument is lazy, stupid, uninformed and dangerous. And the vitriol and hatred they develop for each other just because they have a different opinion is obscene. Plus the way they dismiss the other as though they are nothing more than a swamp rat just because they have a different opinion irks me to no end. On top of that, none of them are flexible. Typically they spend the entire time arguing their side, never listening to the other, never opening their mind to the possibility of the correctness or validity of another point of view. As far as they are concerned, the opinion they have formed is final, set in stone, and nothing will ever change it.

And these are the issues I have had lately. First I would like to touch on the dismissal. Several times lately I have had discussions with people about movies. Nothing world changing, just what we thought of movies. Each time, once with one chap who likes to feel intelligent and two other times with a gal who thinks she knows about entertainment, I left the arguments seething. Not because they got particularly heated, nor because I was out argued or they were, but because each time, the other person basically dismissed my opinion as nonsense, that I had no idea what I was talking about and then looked upon as stupid because my opinion differed from theirs. In one instance, the other person even said I did not get the point of the film in a condescending tone, to which I responded, dripping with sarcasm, please, since you are so much smarter than me, tell me what I did not get, since I was too stupid to get it. Yes, a bit of a childish retort, but it irked me. First off, they are just opinions. I formed mine based on my knowledge, my likes and dislikes, my point of view and what I have learned from and about movies, just like everyone else. Secondly, it really means nothing, since it is just differing opinions regarding movies, fun yet a complete luxury in our society. And lastly, like most everyone, I watch movies and enjoy them. I’ve studied filmmaking and storytelling, and done a bit of it myself. So, like most people, my opinion is just as valid as anyone. My question is why do these people have to sit there and completely dismiss me and my opinion as though it was nothing more than a gnat, a minor irritant to be swatted away and forgotten? I certainly did not dismiss theirs just because it was different than mine. Is it because they feel inferior to others and must build themselves up by tearing others down? Or perhaps they lack self confidence in themselves to the point where the only way they can feel good about themselves is by diminishing others. Or even, maybe it is something like they are so unsure of themselves, their knowledge and the opinions they have formed, that anything that may undermine the shaky foundation on which they have built their opinions must be immediately eradicated, for fear of destroying their image of themselves. These are all good possibilities, but I believe that what it is most of the time, and at least was in two of my personal run ins, that it is nothing more than their ego is so large, that anything that differs from it must be wrong, so there is no reason to even pay it the most trivial of minds. And this is something I will never understand about people. Why do you have to be that way? Why do you have to dismiss, tear down, marginalize and ridicule something just because it is different, new, unfamiliar, or does not fit into your scheme of things? That is what irked me the most. Not that they held a different opinion than mine, but because they basically treated me like an idiot because mine differed from theirs and they were unwilling to even open their mind a millimeter to see something from another perspective.

This brings me to my second point, people with opinions that are set in stone. They know only what they believe, and anything else is not just wrong, but should be railed against, admonished and cast out as pariahs. I not only find this irksome, but also disturbing and frightening. This is such a dangerous way to live. It is this mode of thinking that starts wars, leads to genocide and sets back humanity from truly being able to reach our potential. Now, I am not saying it is wrong to have strong beliefs, far from it. Having strong beliefs and opinions are a way for us to define ourselves, find out who we are, what we like and how we like to live our lives.

As a very minor example, I really do not like asparagus. I think it tastes gross and do not see the appeal. But others I know love it, and I say, hey, you can have my share. Yes, I know, this is such a minor example, but it emphasizes my point. In my opinion, asparagus sucks, but I do not begrudge anyone that thinks the opposite. The problem arises, as I see it, that there are too many people who would say, asparagus sucks and anyone who likes it is wrong, stupid and should be drug out into the street and shot. That may seem a bit of an exaggeration, but depending on the issue, some people would go that far in their thoughts.

I distrust most people who have such a strong opinion on a subject that they cannot see another side to things. Now, let me clarify. I am not talking about subjects that are cut and dry, like murder, destruction of life, property and our planet, pointless killing or other items along these lines. Those things should be pretty obvious that they are wrong, although sometimes it seems the way some people behave they are not. No, I am talking about the many other points in our lives that are shrouded in more shades of gray. If you are so close minded about even the smallest subjects, then how can I trust you with something important or something that may impact my life? Too often, people confuse this stance with being self assured, confident and decisive. I find it the opposite. I find it narrow minded, fearful and insecure. They seem decisive about things and strong in their beliefs, when they are really scared of change and things different from what they know and can only operate within a comfort zone they have built. I find it far braver to admit that something you once believed in may be wrong, or even that there are more valid beliefs than just your own.

You can have strong beliefs and opinions, but you should be open to the possibilities of a different point of view. Not being open to new possibilities or thoughts is reckless and leads to bad things. I know what some may be thinking, how can I believe too strongly in something really important? Well, let’s take a great example, religion. History is littered with examples of the bad things that have happened by people with inflexible beliefs. The inquisitions, the crusades, the Salem witch trials and the Holocaust are just a few of the more horrific examples of how a belief can go dangerously too far. For that matter, the front page of any newspaper is littered with plenty of examples of beliefs being taken too far. Religion is a very large flashpoint, and those who have strong beliefs sometimes take them too far in the name of God. The sad irony being that in all religions, they preach love for others, love for those who sin and acceptance of all. I do not want anyone to think I am picking on religion, because I really am not. Religion is a very large part of our world and has many examples of good and bad that make it a good subject to illustrate my point. I myself believe in God, although I do not subscribe to organized religion. I find it too rife with greed, power and many of the worst examples of humanity. But that does not mean I do not believe. And I have many friends who range from atheists and agnostics to those who attend regular services. I like them all the same, and see no difference in any of them just because they believe something different than I and they afford me the same respect. Wow, what a concept, people with differing opinions and beliefs not only co-existing comfortably, but also being friends. Hey, maybe there is hope for the world yet.

What it boils down to is this. It is a good thing to have strong beliefs and well-formed and educated opinions on the many aspects of life. And it is a great thing to share them with others and have them share theirs with you. But you should be open to other opinions and different beliefs. You do not have to change yours, but be open. You may find something wonderful in a different point of view that you never knew possible. Do not dismiss another’s opinion just because it does not readily mesh with yours, nor be afraid of an idea just because it is new to you. Being open minded and willing to listen to others who may differ from you will help you expand your knowledge, assist in making your opinions more informed, open communications with others, help build respect between people and push our society toward more understanding. If we do this, I believe we can start to really reach out to each other, to help everyone live better lives and really start to reach our potential not only as individuals, but also our potential for humanity. Of course, these are just my opinions, and they are probably wrong.