QT Mailbag

I am so excited to present to you my very first mailbag! I love articles where authors and columnists respond to reader feedback, and always thought it would be so much fun to do the same. I had a job in college where I was able to respond to student feedback, and had a blast doing it. Mind you, we are talking about a group of 18-22 year olds writing in to other 18-22 year olds, so it was mostly a contest to see who could out smart ass the other. I am not sure if the other students had fun, but I sure did, especially since in the format we used, I always got the last word. But I digress.

Although, I have to make a small confession before we start; this really is not a true mailbag feature. I have yet to receive any e-mail reader response for my work. I suppose I do not have the readership level of a Bill Simmons or a Gregg Easterbrook to generate such response from people. Most likely not the talent of those gentlemen either, but that is a debate for another day. Perhaps my, at least imagined, legions of fans are merely quiet or too busy to send in their thoughts regarding my half baked ideas. But on occasion I do receive a comment, and I got one recently that provided some good food for thought.

I wrote an article not long ago with a list of observations. Mostly nonsensical stuff that I saw or thought from day to day that I did not have a full idea to write about, but items that I wished to share. It was one of these items that prompted the response. First, let me share that item to refresh memories and in case you may have missed the piece.

Those dolls that eat the fake food and then mess their diaper and you have to change the doll. I do not get those. Are they really fun to play with, or are they a conditioning tool for girls for later in life?

And now, please read the response from a loyal reader.

Kyler422 wrote: HEY. #1, "Those dolls that eat the fake food and then mess their diaper and you have to change the doll." is a sentence fragment. ALSO! #2, Boy is that a sexist thing to say!!!

First, regarding point #1, I know, it is a sentence fragment. While I have improved upon my grammar skills greatly since beginning this endeavor, I still from time to time flash my grammatical ignorance. There was more than one reason I spent a large portion of my free time a few months ago re-editing previous posts, and right at the top of the list was correcting bad grammar. But considering the cost of subscription for this blog, I’d say everyone is getting their money’s worth.

Moving on, and gaining more than an ounce of seriousness, to point #2, Kyler422 makes an excellent point and raises a more than a few questions. Is this a sexist remark? It very well could be. I am a man, and do view things from a male perspective. Just because I do not understand the doll or the point of said doll does not make it bad or wrong. Also, even though I may prefer to enjoy toys centering around fictional worlds and imaginary space battles, that does not mean I should demean or look poorly upon toys that fall outside of this realm. Toys such as this doll, which requires care and attention, could go a long way toward fostering an environment of caring and responsibility, something my Darth Vader action figure never could. My own perspectives could lead me toward a lack of understanding toward the experiences of others. Plus, never having been a young girl, I do not have any basis for what a young girl may enjoy or like. But pondering this, I have come up with a few questions of my own.

My first question came when thinking about the doll itself and those who manufacture them. I began to wonder if the behavior of the toy companies were sexist in how they operate. After all, the doll teaches how to care for an infant and is marketed directly to girls. As I did some research into the doll, I found an interesting factoid regarding two companies that make such dolls. Neither seem to have much female representation in their upper echelon, which makes me wonder if they have a proper perspective in the first place when creating toys for girls.

Zapf Creation makes a doll called New Baby Born, which falls into the category of these dolls. They work in conjunction with MGA Entertainment, which lists the doll as part of their product line. The CEO of MGA is a gentleman who also sits on the board for Zapf Creation. Zapf’s entire board in actuality is an all male board. Yet their entire product line represented on their website is geared toward girls, including one product called My Model, where the child playing with the toy can experiment with different fashion looks.

Hasbro also makes a version of the doll, calling theirs Baby Alive. Hasbro touts on the page for the doll all of the awards it has won, including the NAPPA Awards Honors Family Fun Grand Prize Winner & Top 10 list (#5) and the Creative Child Magazine Seal of Excellence Award in the Dolls for Preschoolers Category. The president and CEO of Hasbro is also a man, as are 10 members of their 12 person board of directors. And just to point out an annoying item, finding out who is actually running Hasbro from their website is a bit difficult. For some reason, they have the information buried under several layers of web pages and it took a bit of sleuthing to find out who exactly is in charge over there. Makes me wonder if it the site is badly designed, or carefully constructed.

These two companies seem to have a heavy male influence in charge of the direction of their companies, and simultaneously on toys marketed and sold to girls. If my point of view regarding this doll is sexist for merely being from a male perspective, a hypothetical point and one which I am not dismissing as possible, then possibly these gentlemen could be hamstrung by the same problem. And they are in charge of creating toys for children.

But while looking at the toy companies, and perusing their product lines for both boys and girls, a few other questions rose to the surface. Is it not more sexist for these companies to market the dolls only to girls and not both girls and boys? If the dolls are as good as advertised and award winning, then should not boys get the benefit of learning and growing from them as well? Should not young boys learn the importance of caring for a child? Should they not have the opportunity to see all the different paths available to them in their life? Should we not encourage them that they can be child care professionals? After all, we could always use a few more caring and responsible men around.

And conversely, should we not encourage young girls that they can be scientists or politicians or race car drivers? Should not any child, either male or female, have the opportunity to explore all avenues of life, especially those traditionally reserved for the opposite gender? Cannot a little girl wish to strategize and plan corporate takeovers? Cannot a little boy wish to care for and nurture a child?

Many strong and brave women have struggled and fought, and continue to struggle and fight, for true equality between the sexes in this country and around the world. And while there has been many inroads made, the truth is there is still a divide between the genders. While now in our society we regularly see women in positions of power and influence, they are not as numerous as they could or should be. The Hasbro board of directors is a perfect example of this. If a company is making toys for both girls and boys, should there not be equal representation of each gender on their board?

My original thought behind the observation was to point out something that struck me upon seeing the advertisements for the doll. The commercials for the product all show little girls doing a variety of motherly activities with the doll. I wondered if these activities really were fun for children, and whether it was limiting for girls to be playing with toys that placed them only in traditional female roles. Is it not rather presumptuous, and potentially sexist, to put the onus of the role of motherhood upon young girls before they have grown up and are able to make decisions on their own about what they want to do with their lives? If they wish to be mothers or corporate leaders or astronauts, should we not give them the choice to decide which path, or paths, are best for them? Should we not give them every opportunity to show them all of the paths they can choose?

Another thought popped into my head as I perused the product lines of a few of these companies, all of which are divided into sections dedicated to either boys or girls. Which is more sexist, my half baked question regarding a doll that allows little girls to be pretend mothers, or companies that market items like strategy games to boys and toy ovens and pretend babies to girls? Should not all toys be marketed to both, potentially opening up creative ideas and paths to children of both genders? Mind you, I am not accusing anyone of anything, just merely raising a few questions that came up while pondering the issue. I told you the response provided some good food for thought.

Anyways, most kids when they go to a toy store automatically gravitate toward sections that appeal to them, so ultimately the consumer decides what they want, and companies will happily comply to keep the tills ringing. And most little boys would run in holy terror if you tried to ply a Barbie on them, and the same for little girls if you plopped a Transformer in their lap. Not all for either gender, mind you, but most.

But I think it is a good idea to expose kids to things outside their norm from time to time. Let them see things from a new perspective and allow them to expand their horizons. Me, I think great toys for boys and girls, and ones I like to get for youngsters, are Legos or Lincoln Logs. Both are fun, inspire creativity and not particularly gender specific. Well, maybe the pirate ship Lego set is gender specific. Ok, and a few other sets as well. Forget it; everyone is getting a super ball and a sketch pad from now on.

I hope you enjoyed the first mailbag, I know I did. And a big thank you to Kyler422 for the great comment and inspiring this first offering. And yes, that last sentence is a fragment, I already know.

Its Not My Fault

Today I am contemplating the disappearance of personal responsibility. After watching television the other evening, with news that covered the gamut of culture, from Former CIA Director George Tenet admitting in a book that the US was pushed into war without just cause to Paris Hilton’s legal trouble, I came to one inescapable conclusion. Personal responsibility no longer exists, and from what I have been seeing lately, has been missing for quite some time. But exactly where has it gone?

Avoiding trouble is something we all do. I can recall from my recent past an example where I pulled a prank on a friend, at the time thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. A few too many cocktails will do that to you. But the next day, when he called me on it, at first I tried to play it off, as though I had no idea of what he was speaking. I was still in joking mode and found that even funnier. But after a few minutes of joshing back and forth I relented and admitted guilt, and offered to make up for it. He graciously declined and admitted he had a good laugh about it later, though not at the time. But I knew he would discover it was me, and had no problem admitting fault or my own part in the prank. I felt the need to be responsible for my actions. Because of that, we are better friends today. But that need to take responsibility for ones actions seemingly no longer exists.

Either due to fear of punishment, loss of reputation or pure ego, many no longer see the need to stand up and own their actions, to admit fault or be responsible for what they do. This concept is slowly driving me mad. I really cannot stand when people cannot admit that they are wrong, and just take a tack of arguing and indignant shock in the face of a mountain of evidence that their actions or behavior is wrong. I cannot understand this line of thinking that permeates throughout society. What is the big deal about admitting you are wrong? Why is this concept, and that of personal responsibility, so foreign in our society? Is it because failing or admitting fault is looked upon as a sign of weakness? Is it ego driven, where one will not allow themselves to admit their wrong, because their narcissistic tendencies will not be able to handle the fact that their actions or decisions were off? Or is it merely another example of life imitating art?

It is not difficult to see where this behavior comes from when all anyone has to do is turn on the television to see a myriad of people refusing to take responsibility. Tenet illustrates this trend in politics with his admissions regarding the war we are currently fighting. Sure, he looks big now for spilling the beans on something that has long been suspected, but if that is true, why did he do nothing about it at the time? If he feels so strongly about such things, why did he not blow a whistle or raise a red flag when it could have made a difference? Mind you, he is not taking any responsibility for doing nothing then, merely working now to sell books.

Follow that up with a stunningly sad and unbelievably aggravating example from the world of celebrity with the attention hound Paris Hilton and her latest escapades with the law. After getting busted, for a second time, for driving with a suspended sentence, the law finally flexed their muscle and sentenced her to 45 days in the clink. And even in the face of her actions and flaunting of the law, she is pleading for a pardon from the governor of California. She has done wrong, broke the law on multiple occasions and now she is being called to the carpet for her behavior, she still does not get that her wealth and privilege to not justify her behavior. Even worse is the nonsense her mother spews about the conviction being disgusting. If I may take a moment here to address the elder Hilton directly, I would like to impart that what is truly disgusting about this situation is the child you raised, or more probably paid someone to raise, behaving in such a manner. And on top of that, the more disgusting nature of the situation is you apologizing and defending her actions. Thank you. The Elder Hilton does not care about her child’s behavior as long as it continues to generate publicity and fame. As long as her behavior does that, and she can gloom some of that fame and therefore she is fine with whatever Paris does. Someone like Paris, who flaunts her wealth and fame and creates an atmosphere where stupidity and whoredom are lionized, should not be looked upon fondly. She should be ignored and shunned by society for providing absolutely nothing for the common good. And yet we cannot turn away.

Perhaps the sporting world can provide better. Alas, that is not to be thanks to the saga of one Pacman Jones, who has been arrested or questioned by police 10 times on 10 different incidents, all in the span of one calendar year. Rightfully the league suspended Mr. Jones for his behavior, but why? Why should they suspend him for his actions? Jones is now attempting to reduce the suspension, complaining that the punishment is too harsh, and should be lessened. Why I ask? He became embroiled in police investigations, a few of which have not been closed and may still bring punishment to him. If these things had been done by regular people who are not rich or famous, they would be spending far more than 45 days in jail and would have been fired from their job as opposed to merely suspended.

People look at examples such as this and begin to feel emboldened in dismissing responsibility for themselves. The attitude of, if they can get away with it, why can’t I fosters and grows. The more others see people being excused or, in some cases, even rewarded for poor behavior and lack of accountability only allows this behavior to spread like wildfire. No longer are actions put upon the shoulders of those who committed them, but on someone, or something else. Blame is shifted and distributed to a myriad of people and reasons, except for the one place is should be, on the perpetrator of the actions.

Seemingly, the only time people tend to take responsibility anymore is for a success. When that happens, out from the woodwork people will pour to claim responsibility, whether they had anything to do with said success or not. That matters not, as long as the accolades and awards keep flowing.

Perhaps I am over simplifying this issue. Or perhaps I am overstating the scope of the problem. I know there are good people out there who stand up when it matters and say; yes I am the one responsible. Unfortunately, they do not get the press or exposure they deserve and we need to see. And because of this, it just seems that fewer and fewer people have the ability, or desire, to stand. We need more people to stand, and walk for that matter. We need them to organize a search party for personal responsibility and soon. If we do not, then we may all be in trouble. Well, not me, I had nothing to do with it.

Fighting Against The World

During the constant work of trying to better myself and figure out what I am supposed to be doing with this life, I have discovered a few things out about myself. I am not a guy who asks for receipts when donating items to Goodwill. Nor am I one to quibble over dollars when splitting the bill at a large dinner. Neither am I a guy who gives a line item invoice for every bit of work done at a job. These things are neither noble nor stupid, just who I am. And because of these things, I have come to realize I will never be the guy on top. Sure, I may win a small battle here or there, and on occasion come out on top of a small molehill, but never on top of a mountain. I find that for the most part, I am fine with this realization.

I never wanted to be the type of person who values wealth and material goods over the more important things in life such as family, friendships and the betterment of humankind. I would rather be a good person and try to do the right things by myself and my fellow citizens of planet Earth. But I find it harder to live life like this in a world where materialism and wealth are valued over anything else. A world where the only way to get ahead is to be a shark, to be one who pursues such things with a vengeance leaving a wake of debris consisting of people and hope behind them. To be the type of person who will crush anyone and anything to get what they want. I do not want to be like that. I do not value money for what it is, but merely what it can provide, shelter food and essentials. But that kind of thinking seems to be antiquaited. I do not want to make money to have it, but to be able to provide for those I love and if possible help out those less fortunate. If I can do well, then perhaps I can better take care of them, make their lives easier and give a little hope to those who may no longer have any hope.

But it is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain this ideal of life. Everywhere I turn lately there have been constant reminders of the things I am missing out on because I do not wish to do whatever it takes to get a bigger piece of the pie, to make the sacrifices of life, happiness or love. Others my age have moved on in their lives and are marrying, purchasing homes and starting families. People are retiring early and enjoying the spoils of life. Also lately I have been reminded of the darker paths of where this ideal of mine can lead. I see people working far past retirement age, unable to lose the income their jobs bring in. They struggle on, not knowing when they might be able to stop, and knowing the precious moments of their life is quickly slipping by. I see these two disparate paths, knowing I do not want to give up who I am to get the one, but unsure of how to not end up the other without becoming someone I do not want to be. I know this is not a singular feeling, nor does it make me unique in any way. I know there are others like me out there who feel the same way and just unsure of what to do next.

The problem as I define it is that if you do not worship at the altar of the dollar, you get nowhere. The world now operates in a way where everyone is trying to grab a bigger piece of the pie. The more you have the better. But still even that is not good enough. And people, governments and corporations have no qualms, issues or problems with destroying anyone or anything in their path to get more of said proverbial pie. People who have worked hard all their lives and played by the rules more and more are finding themselves struggling to make ends meet. Loyalty and hard work mean nothing. All that matters is the bottom line. For example Hershey, a company that built a town and community and has existed in the lives of many people for generations, is now moving all their plants to Mexico for cheaper labor and costs. Meanwhile thousands of loyal people, many who have worked for the company for years, suddenly will find themselves out of work with no prospects, existing in a town that will quickly die as its main employer pulls away. Is this really how we should be? Is a few extra dollars more important than the well being of our fellow brothers and sisters? I heard a story recently that made me sick and angry and wishing to scream in rage all at the same time. A person I know was feeling sick, but had to keep working because she needs to do well at her job to keep her income and a semblance of job stability. This person met with a client for lunch and did not eat due to feeling increasingly sick, but continued the lunch meeting regardless. After lunch, she threw up on the way back to the office. Knowing all the work still in front of her, she returned to the office and stayed at work for the remainder of the day, continuing to work through sickness and occasional vomiting while superiors would come in to request things. These supervisors knew she was sick; they could see with visual evidence that she was sick, but to them that was of no concern. Only what they needed to continue working and striving for a better bottom line was of concern. Not once did anyone say, perhaps you should go home. Not once did anyone show any concern to her physical well being. This kind of behavior is unconscionable. How can a person live with themselves if they were to witness this woman struggling to work while ill and not send her home? She could not just leave, since she is already concerned about job security, yet no one gave a damn about her well being enough to step in and do the right thing and send her home. Shamefully, sadly, frighteningly I know for her this is not an isolated incident, and I fear her story is not a unique one. Humanity and decency no longer have a place in our workplaces or even society. They have been removed to make room to build bigger coffers for those with too much already to fill the old ones.

So everyone keeps busy by worshipping the dollar, and those who have it want more, and those who do not are willing to do anything to get it. And more and more, those without are resorting to means beyond the law to obtain it. There are reports from Greensburg Kansas, at the scene of massive tornado devastation where off duty guardsmen were caught stealing from damaged stores and people disguised as Red Cross workers looting destroyed homes. And these are but a few recent incidents in a long sad line of examples. The most striking recent example may still be the bedlam that became New Orleans after Katrina. But this behavior says two things to me. One, these people are at the ends of their rope and desperate to do anything to get something from this world. And two, they are the lowest of the low to steal from those who have nothing.

But what do you expect from people when the same example is set by those in authority and power? Regularly we see politicians in power manipulating prices with taxes and product restrictions, men and women who profit from these actions in an obvious conflict of interest. Televangelists bilk people out of their savings, using a smooth delivery and religion and faith as their tools for extortion. Companies suspend or discontinue health care plans and pension plans, claiming the need to save money. Yet in the same breath they vote to give their highest level executives massive raises for their efforts. Sports stars will refuse to work, demanding a raise while forgetting the fact that what they make in a week is more than most make in a year. If most people refused to work in an effort to get a raise, they would be spending the next day working on their resume and cleaning out their desks.

But that is what governments at all levels, corporations and even individuals do on a regular basis, take from those without. Taxes, gas prices, increased food prices, inflated costs of purchasing a home, high costs to rent and merely living are all examples of people in power and wealth pick pocketing those who have neither for their own personal gain. People need food, shelter, fuel and the essentials to live, and those in charge and power know it. So they tax those things or raise the prices and adopt a stance of take it or leave it with no concern as to how it may affect the lives of others. Their only concern is that they get that bigger piece of pie and improve the bottom line. Governments mandate a percentage of tax on gasoline and goods, because people need and want them and the tax fills their coffers. The only difference between what they do and what those in Greensburg did is legality. Looting is illegal, heavy taxation and rising prices have been made legal, thanks to those wishing for more of the pie.

Now, I am not saying that working hard and earning money is a bad thing. If you are able to grab a slice of the pie, provide yourself and family with a better situation and improve your station in live by all means do it and with gusto. But wealth in and of itself should not be a sole goal. Having and acquiring wealth for the sake of it is an empty and shallow pursuit that ultimately leads to no end. Not a good or bad end, just no end since once you leave this mortal coil, all that you have acquired does absolutely nothing for you. So why not do something worthwhile with it while you are here? Besides, it is what wealth and money can provide that is important, and one of the most important things it should provide is the opportunity to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, most with wealth would rather stomp on a puppy than share their acquired fortune with anyone. And even if they do share, or give something back to communities or the less fortunate, it typically is only when it benefits them. Have you ever heard of someone donating a large sum of money just for the hell of it? Neither have I. Whether it is for publicity, a backroom favor, preferential treatment or, most commonly, a nice big tax break, philanthropy for merely the sake of doing good is dying. A pathetic, sad and mostly likely common example I witnessed the last time I dropped off some items at Goodwill. I never ask for a receipt when I drop stuff off there. I do not need the items any longer; I just want to see them possibly get into the hands of someone who can use them. I already received my money’s worth and use out of them, why should I ask for more when I give them away to help others? Perhaps it is my inability to accept this concept that allows me to stay poor, but I digress. But whenever I go, I always see others asking for receipts. Not that I hold this against anyone, after all that is their choice. But when last I went, I waited behind a woman who was requesting a receipt for an old, used cat bed she was donating. It made me shake my head, literally, as I waited. Why would she think anyone would want some old, crappy cat bed, and was the receipt for what I can only imagine would be a minimal amount really worth her, and ultimately my, time? No, I doubt it. But everyone needs an angle, and no one seemingly does any good without demanding a reward.

Many times, those with wealth or a taste of the pie are merely oblivious to the plight of those around them. Their focus is so set on their own goals and striving for more they develop a tunnel vision, not only unwilling but now unable to see how those around them are struggling to merely keep a roof over their heads. This can be far worse than a callous outlook, as these people may have the heart to help, just no longer the vision to see it.

Unfortunately, it can be quite easy to ignore those in plight. There are many people out there that seem to have just given up on life. We see these people everyday, looking for scraps of food and shelter, drifting through the world aimlessly with shell shocked expressions permanently etched on their weathered faces. These are the people that need help the most, not merely financial help or food or shelter, but help in finding a will to try again. But since they no longer possess any desire, seemingly, to work to get out of their situations, many people find it quite easy to write them off as nothing more than bums or vagrants and a plight on society. We all ignore them, only acknowledging their existence from afar with charitable donations to soup kitchens. We distance ourselves from them, avoiding any contact with them, but feeling self righteous with a nice tax deductible donation as opposed to truly helping. Why lend a hand to someone who cares not to even try to stand on their own feet? It becomes easy to marginalize a person when you no longer look upon them in human terms, or have any contact with them and know nothing about their lives.

But what about those who do try? What about those who we do know and see as humans and people and parts of communities? What about the family living paycheck to paycheck who suddenly they find themselves homeless thanks to a natural disaster? What about the man who is killed by a thief, leaving his struggling wife to cope with the loss of her beloved, their children and the loss of income that now has nowhere to turn? What about the people who try to improve their station, but find themselves shafted by a closing factory or business moving operations, and now they are left with few options, mounting bills and impending eviction? These are not people who do not care any longer. These are not people who no longer try. These are people who play by the rules, strive to create a life out of this world the best way they can and yet these are also the people that get screwed the worst. You cannot ignore these people. They are everywhere. They are your neighbors, friends and coworkers. People who while attempting to make their own way get hit by a few bad breaks and suddenly find themselves on the brink of ruin with no hope or way out. People who believe that living a good life does not necessarily mean driving a million dollar car or having a 100 acre property on which to vacation. To them it means treating others as you would yourself, lending a hand to those who need it and following the rules. Unfortunately, those with that mindset are never rewarded for being the backbone of society; usually they are merely looked upon with disdain. They are everywhere, and if you can ignore their plight as they are squeezed out, then what does that say about you? If you can continue to focus solely upon your own good fortune while these people rapidly fall through the cracks of society, how can you look upon anything you have with any pride or satisfaction? As I said, these are not people who have given up; these are those who are just used until their worth is expired and discarded. They are the rapidly shrinking middle class. They are the class of people who are being further pushed into poverty, homelessness and ruin. They do not make enough to find any sort of stability, financial independence or to just break even, but they make far too much to ever get any sort of help or assistance. And you know them.

Those striving for a bigger piece of the pie continue to take more and more from people with progressively less and less, and a breaking point will eventually come and it will not be pretty. There will always be a contingent of people that will attempt to get something for nothing, to just merely take what they feel they are entitled to or deserve. This has been the case since the beginning of time, and will most likely remain the same until the end of time. But as more and more people who live good lives, try to do the right thing and play by the rules increasingly find themselves in rapidly deteriorating situations and become more desperate not to get ahead, but to merely keep themselves from losing their homes and possessions, their frustration and hopelessness will mount until they can take no more. And the ranks of people fitting this description, those who live paycheck to paycheck barely able to keep their heads above water let alone find any semblance of financial security, are rapidly growing. People that have no safety net, financial stability or at times reliable medical care that are finding it harder and harder to maintain as things they need are pushed out of their reach and things they have are slowly being taken away from them. When it comes to financial straits, personal issues or career problems, there is never an easy way out. But increasingly for many there is no way out. People generally can only take so much before they break, and many people are showing cracks in their personal foundations.

Our priorities seem to be skewed in the wrong direction. The need and desire for wealth and the good life has replaced any drive we once had as a society to better not only our personal stations in life, but the lives of those around us and the world at large. Time, energy and resources would rather be expended on the acquisition of material wealth than the pursuit of a better world. My biggest fear is that the only way to provide for those I love will be to do whatever it takes to chase down and grabbing every last dollar I can. Not to get ahead, but to merely keep myself and those I love off the street. That to keep them from becoming another sad statistic of families sent out into the cold, I must surrender what I feel is right and become one who looks to the altar of the dollar for the answers. If ever I want to help others, I fear I must give up who I am. Unfortunately, it seems in this world that really is the only way to survive.