Random Observations II: Idiocy Strikes Back

Hello all! I enjoyed the previous attempt at throwing out a bunch of nonsense I had seen lately, so I thought I would try it again. Remember, keep your tongue firmly planted in cheek as you read and hopefully laugh uproariously at our own craziness as a society. Have fun!


I miss when ex sports stars would hawk beer. Now they just hawk diet plans.

I recently saw a McDonald’s truck plastered with slogans and gigantic pictures of food on the sides. This is no shocking observation, as they all are decorated in such a way, but two slogans caught my eye. On one side the slogan said, “Merge at taste and quality.” On the back it said, “Are we there yet?” I would say….no, not even close.

I do not understand the Progressive insurance commercial where the woman brings in her car for estimates and repairs because she backed into a pole. The confusing part lies in the point that everyone at Progressive needed to be quiet because her daughter is sleeping and never woke up from the small fender bender. I know the point of the piece is that Progressive will take care of every need, no matter your situation and that they are there to help. But I have more than one issue with this commercial. First, how bad could the damage really be if the collision did not even wake a sleeping child in the car? Second, if it is bad enough that there is damage that requires the car to be repaired or serviced, would not any mother worth her salt immediately wake the child to check on her condition? And third, keeping in mind the damage to the car, why would any parent immediately think to get the car serviced and repaired, if the damage is indeed that bad, and not think to perhaps take the child into a doctor, just for precautionary sake? The ad says to me that stupid people more concerned about material goods than human health use Progressive for their insurance needs.

As anyone seen the home pregnancy test commercial where they say it’s the most sophisticated piece of technology you’ll ever pee on? It has been a while, and they do not crop up as often anymore, so you may have missed this. I know the statement is true as this is how home pregnancy tests work, but it still comes off as kind of gross. Not that I’m a prude or anything, it just seems, well, kinda off. Although I do like that they just put it out there with blunt honesty, because we all know that is exactly what you do with such items. Someone must have been really uptight about it, since they have changed the commercial and now have two versions. And as I think about it, the statement about being the most sophisticated piece of technology you will ever pee on may not be entirely true, I’ve seen people pee on things when they were, shall we say, intoxicated, that they never would sober. Perhaps the commercial should state it’s the most sophisticated piece of technology you’ll ever intentionally pee on. Of course, fits of anger could negate that comment as well. Oh never mind.

Lindsey Lohan desperately needs a parent/role model/guardian/someone who is looking out for her interests and well being, instead of their own. If she does not get one soon, I fear she will self destruct in a very tragic way.

Speaking of which, so does Britney Spears. Probably more so, her implosion seems much more imminent now.

And why are we as a society just so interested in everything Britney does? I’ve never found it fascinating to watch someone whose life is falling apart get into a fender bender when heading out to pick up booze and smokes.

I think we have reached a new low when Kevin Federline can be looked upon as the more responsible of two parents.

There needs to be a tech support number for those who have a clue about technology. I know to try rebooting the computer, to unplug it from a power source for 30 seconds and to check if all the cables are properly attached. When I call, it’s because I have a real problem, not my own stupidity.

Has anyone else noticed the bigger Apple gets, the more it starts acting, from a business standpoint, like Microsoft?

Ok, I have seen one too many cash for gold commercials, and I just have to ask. Who is really sitting around their house going “man, what am I gonna do with all this old gold? It’s just lying around collecting dust!” Who is falling for these commercials and dumping their old gold? I’m afraid to find out just who is getting fleeced.

In continued attempts to merge soccer into the American sports fabric, celebrity and occasional soccer star David Beckham finally arrived in the US to play for Major League Soccer. In his first start for the Galaxy, he scored a goal. News stations breathlessly reported it. The announcer from the game sounded like he had seen God. Guess what? Still no one cares! Football, not soccer, is in season. If an NFL preseason game can get better ratings than Barry Bonds breaking the all time home run record, do you really think Becks has a chance? Especially since he has barely played at all this season due to injury? No, I doubt it since paid attendance for Becks' second home game was 9,223. And that was when he was playing.

An added thought on my rant against dealer license plate frames. Just to recap, I cannot understand why people keep them on their cars, as they do nothing but provide free advertising for the dealer. I believe it says a lot about a person whether they leave the frame on their car or take it off. I’m not sure if it means lazy or stupid, or that they really love their car dealer, but it says something. That should cheese someone off.

Ever been dozing off, and your mind is wandering as you fall asleep, and suddenly hear a loud voice in your head over the din of everything buzzing in your mind? One so loud and commanding it sounds as though it came from inside the room? And for a moment, every thought in your head stops, and in your sleepy state you think it did come from inside the room as you can feel it reverberating in your ears, only to realize a moment later it came from inside your head? Or is that just me?

The latest in advertising slogans, the powered by, as in this show is powered by Joe’s Discount Vodka Emporium. This must be most ridiculous advertising tactic I have heard lately. The sponsor does not provide any power, merely a chunk of change for the show to slap the sponsor’s name on it. It’s nothing more than a new ploy, one made in an attempt to be hip and cool mind you, in the same old game of branding and money. Wait, money seems to be the power of the day, maybe this is accurate.

A local Los Angeles news station actually had a report investigating how dangerous it is to text message and drive. Seriously? We needed an investigative report to tell us this was a dangerous thing to do? This question even needed to be asked? Is it really dangerous to take away your hands, eyes, mind and concentration from the road to type characters onto a 2 inch screen with a 3 inch keyboard? Could this practice really be detrimental? Why didn’t someone tell me before? There should be warning stickers on those phones for idiots with NO COMMON SENSE. Of course, that is assuming they would read and abide by said warning. I doubt that would ever happen.

Of course, the same station also felt we needed an investigative report of the dangers of children in show business. Anyone who has seen the lives of any cast member of Different Strokes, or had the misfortune of hearing or seeing anything featuring Danny Bonaduce, knows the danger.

An odd thought sprung in my mind after seeing a commercial for the Pull Ups training pants with Cool Alert. The big innovation with this product is that as soon as they feel moisture, they become cool, alerting the potty training child wearing them that they need to use the bathroom. I wonder about this particular product as it seems these things have the ability to alter and create behavior. What if the diapers get wet from sweat, do they also get cool then, or is it a chemical reaction with urine? And will this create some sort of Pavlovian response in the kids who wear these? Will they have this ingrained into them into adulthood? What will happen then? Will they find they have an overwhelming urge to pee whenever they sit in a cold seat? Will public seating need to be changed so all seats are warm in the future? If they fall into the snow, and get their pants cold and wet, will they involuntarily go to the bathroom? A few things this product has caused me to ponder.

We now have in our world an Oreo cookie pizza. I guess as a society we are not fat enough.

I must mention a disturbing cinematic trend that has been rearing its ugly head more frequently. Studios and producers have been taking classic works of literature or historical stories and morphing them into ultra violent, supremely gory slaughter fests in which the lead characters do little more than scream most of the time. I enjoy the idea of bringing history to life, even if slightly fictionalized, or bringing classic works of literature to the masses, but must it be done in such a way that pushes down the bar and sets the lowest common denominator at a new subterranean level? I know the stories and works in question were rather violent, but they also had fascinating characters, people and compelling drama. Must we ignore these merely for sensationalized gore? Oh, look, Saw IV is out. That answers my question.

Love In The Time Of Cholera. Not as hot as Lust in the time of the Black Plague, but more romantic overall.

In For A Strike

Writers of Hollywood, in case anyone missed it, are striking for better pay. Now that may sound absurd, but here is the deal. The crux of the issue, and the main point of contention, is that they receive little to no compensation for DVD sales and new media outlets, such as internet downloads and content for handheld devices such as phones, PDAs and other items.

The works they create are being broadcast beyond the traditional broadcast mediums into an expanding array of new technology and pushed into these new arenas as fast as it can be produced. Unfortunately for the writers, these new mediums were not considered previously, as many did not exist, when discussions of compensation arose in previous contract years. Now they want to be compensated for their work as it is displayed in all mediums.

I see their point as clear as day, and they do have a very good one. If their work is displayed somewhere, they should be given something in compensation for it. No one wants to see someone else get fat off the sweat of their brow. It is humiliating and angering. But at the same time, they seem to be missing the a few key points.

The first point revolves around the idea that the writers feel that everyone should care about this. But why? I am waiting to hear an argument that clearly states why the average person and viewer should care, but thus far the arguments have been quite thin.

I heard one writer/actor from the show Big Shots on the nationally syndicated Tom Leykis radio show attempt at making the case for the writers. He brought up some finances regarding the writers. One of his biggest points was that “baby” writers, those who are young and just getting started, make between $2,500-$3,500 a week for 22 weeks of work and then that work is used to make a profit in a variety of different arenas in which they see nothing.

These writers would be the most impacted by this loss of potential income, as they do not make as much for their work as other more established writers and can find work coming during inconsistent intervals. As I said previously, I can see how that situation would be angering and how someone would desire to change it. But perhaps using these numbers to illustrate your reasoning for a work stoppage is not the best idea.

I am not sure how accurate those numbers really are, but for sake of argument let’s take them at face value. Rounding to the average, let’s say one of these writers makes $3,000 a week and represent the low end of the spectrum for writing compensation. Over 22 weeks, that comes out to $66,000, before taxes.

I am not a math genius or a financial expert, but $66,000 dollars a year, for a half year of work, to sit around, be creative and tell stories sounds like a damn good way to make a living if you ask me. Making that kind of scratch for a half a year of work? And then to have 24 weeks a year to do whatever I wanted? Maybe take a trip, visit family, write a book or a play, and take a second job that may not pay well but could be fun, interesting or challenging and still make a decent living? Where is the bottom line of that contract, I want to put my John Hancock on it today!

By using this math as his example, the actor/writer makes it very difficult for the average person to see the point of the strike or empathize with the position of the writers. In 2005, the median household income was $46,326. Now, you know a majority of the people who hit that average, or are below it, are not obtaining that income by writing or other creative, or even enjoyable, means. No, they are out there busting their humps day in and day out at physically draining and emotionally numbing jobs. And they do it to keep food on the table and a roof over people’s heads, not because it gives them personal satisfaction or its fun. To your average person, seeing people who never have to get dirty during the day to bring home a few bucks arguing over compensation rights when they already make far more in a week than most do in a few months not only seems asinine, but downright insulting. Your average person is not going to care that much about a strike involving already well paid individuals who do not have to struggle just for basic necessities when they have to worry about the potential of figuring out how to avoid $4 a gallon gas.

The second key point missed by the writers comes by their assertion that by striking and bringing a halt to original programming, they will have the edge since people will crave original stories. Without these new shows, people will rise up and put pressure on networks and producers to settle the strike.

Once again they have a point, as most people do enjoy a well told story, be it a comedy, drama or something in between. But what they seem to miss here is that people will find an outlet for that need to be entertained. Books, movies, independent productions, short stories, plays, musicals and more can provide them with that want.

Will people miss their programs? You betcha. I read today the last new episode of The Office will air next week. I love that show, and must compliment not only the actors, but especially the writers. It is well written, funny and intelligent and never fails to deliver in terms of entertainment. But my world will not come to an end. Nor will anyone else’s for that matter. What will I do? I don’t know, read a book, take a walk, play a game, and catch up on the stack of writing I have yet to finish or the pile of movies I have yet to see. The world will continue to turn.

And unlike the last time the writers went on strike, there are far more entertainment outlets for people to occupy themselves with than before. The attention span of our culture is shorter than ever, and people will distract themselves with something else and find new ways to entertain themselves if their favorite shows are gone for any extended period of time.

In an ironic third point missed, the writers seem to overlook that many of the same venues they are fighting to get paid for are going to provide people with entertainment to compensate for the loss of new programming.

The writer mentioned previously also stated that people will not want to watch the filler program put forth. At the very least, he is correct in that assumption when it comes to me. I cannot stand most reality shows, as they have very little to do with reality, and would not be overly upset if the entire genre disappeared. But that did not happen last time the writers walked out for better compensation and is the fourth key point they are missing. The networks found out people will tune in for just about anything, as long as it’s new and somewhat interesting or captivating.

And the networks will not miss a beat. The last time this happened, they were caught flat footed. Not this time. They know the formula that worked last time, and they will play the same cards again and again. Reruns will start us off, and then once a few shows get ramped up, we will see a deluge of game shows and reality programming. Most likely networks will bring in a large influx of sports programming as well. I bet the NHL would love to fill in a few programming holes on a network for a few nights a week. The networks will just throw out whatever they have to in order to ride out the storm, and they will do just fine.

Fifth, they also miss the point in how serious their strike really is. One striker mentioned on a news program interview that they were bringing a stop to productions all over town and that their work stoppage was devastating. Yes, it is, but not to those you wish it to be. They hope that the devastation will be exacted upon the producers, studios and networks and that this will force them to cave. But who is really most affected by this? It’s the support personnel that work on the shows. The grips, electricians, construction people, support personnel, office managers, show managers and all of the other unsung people that contribute to producing entertainment are the ones that will be affected the most. They will not see anything out of this strike in terms of compensation. What they will see are smaller, or missing, paychecks the longer the strike continues.

Unions were originally created to help protect the working man and woman from being taken advantage of and abused by cruel companies. And strikes were their most effective method once negotiations stalled to force those same companies to change working conditions and compensation to raise the standards in which their employees worked and lived. One could argue in this case that the writers are being taken advantage of, but there situation pales in comparison to those who really need a union. The writers are not abused, beaten or risk their lives on a daily basis. They do not work in dangerous conditions, although I have heard some horror stories involving a few, let’s just say demanding, producers. They are well compensated for their efforts. They have health care and pensions and are able to provide for their families. And they cannot lose their jobs on a whim from a petulant superior without consequences. They have all the protections a union should and can provide. In this increasingly cut throat world those kinds of conditions, compensation and protection are becoming far more difficult to find.

If people really wanted to get up in arms about unions and the people they should be protecting in the entertainment industry, they should ask where are the unions for workers like runners, assistants and other personnel of their like? These people work tireless, thankless jobs for beyond minimal compensation doing menial and degrading jobs with only the sliver of hope that perhaps something good could come out of the experience. They are hired and fired, often, on a whim and no one cares what happens to them after that. Some in these positions do manage to carve out a great life, and work for some extraordinary people who treat them well. But those are usually outnumbered by the ones walking through a hell on Earth.

Marc Cherry, the creator and producer of Desperate Housewives, is among the stars and producers on the picket lines supporting the striking writers. His stance and support for the strike is mainly for the younger, less experienced and less tenured writers. He mentioned in an interview on a news program reporting from the lines that this is about those writers who go long stretches between jobs. He makes a good point, as some writers may have a boon of work over a short period of time, but then have a dearth for long periods, even a few years. His, and the overall point, is that if these writers were compensated properly for all avenues their work finds itself, those dry periods would not be as severe.

The point is valid, but perhaps not completely thought through and brings us to the sixth key point those on the lines have missed. See, I feel bad the most for these writers because the short sightedness of those who are running their organization and orchestrating this strike could hurt them more in the long run. The writers may eventually win this battle, but they could lose the war. If the strike lasts for an extended period of time, the networks will gladly fill our entertainment gullets with reality programming, game shows, sports and anything else they can conjure that does not require scripts. If any of those should stick, the networks will keep them around long after the strike ends. If that happens, that means that a portion of the currently airing original programming will be bumped off the air in favor of the much cheaper to produce, and much higher profit generating, reality programming.

If this should occur, it will cause a domino effect that will put writers out of work, create a higher level of competition for less jobs, make it far more difficult for young fresh talent to break into the ranks and lead many of those “baby” writers the organization seems to be most concerned about right out to the unemployment line or even out of the business altogether. Because when available jobs shrink, the union will not protect the young ones, it will protect the longer tenured union members. Perhaps this is worst case scenario thinking, but someone in charge of what is happening should be thinking along these lines as well if they really do mean it when they profess their concern for the writers in their charge.

I do not want to come down on the writers or their union, nor is that my intention. As I said, I think their beef is justified. No one wants to pour blood sweat and tears into their toil only to see others profit from their efforts. But by overestimating the public’s concern for their cause and need for scripted television, underestimating the networks’ ability to overcome the lack of programming, ignoring alternate mediums in providing entertainment to the masses to compensate, disregarding the impact of their strike on others in the entertainment industry and the long term potential ramifications on their own members, I fear what they gain may overall be less than what they lose.

I hope they ultimately get the compensation they are seeking. Everyone wants to be fairly compensated for their efforts, and if people see one group or industry succeed they have hope that they can find the same sort of success as well. Personally, one day I could be a member of their ranks, and would love to be able to get paid for every avenue my work may find itself. I just hope the price they pay today for that victory does not turn out to be too high in the future.