The Crystal Ball 2007 Week 15

This week marks a momentous occasion. We have more days with football than without. That’s right, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, all with at least one game. A veritable cornucopia of NFL action for the consumer awaits football fans who wish to feast. Tell me, why cannot every week be like this week? Why must this delectable dish only be served once a season? It seems almost a travesty to keep such a smorgasbord hidden until now.


Recap

The Colts dismantling of the Ravens clinched them a playoff spot. So much for the playoff rematch, seems only one team showed up. And did anyone else notice how quickly Dungy went to Jim Sorgi time? I guess he does not feel the same way about running up the score as one of his contemporaries does.

Honestly, who was surprised Brett started game? No one? Now who surprised they took out the Raiders with a running game? Me! Me! And the Pack are headed back to playoffs!

Hmmm, Tony Romo now has another nice come from behind last second win on the road in his little arsenal. Very sweet. Nice last second catch by Witten as well.

Not bad forcing overtime and snagging a road win by the Chargers, either. Although I cannot see them going far in the playoffs with Philip Rivers and his currently abysmal play. I wonder how many Charger fans pine for Drew Brees at this point.

The Dolphins are chasing history! 0-13, so close now it’s tantalizingly within reach! I can taste it, and it tastes like immortality.

The Browns turned up heat on Steelers with a win over Jets. Should we use the forbidden P word with the Browns just yet?

Predictably, the Vikings rolled over the 49ers. In the process, they knocked Trent Dilfer out of the game with a head injury. Trent got his bell rung good, I wonder if Michael Robinson might get a shot behind center.

The Broncos are maddening once again, this time in routing the Chiefs. How can they blast out a team like the Chiefs, but get skewered by the Lions? Which will show up this week?

Jaguar Fred Taylor had the longest run from scrimmage in NFL this season with 80 yard romp for a touchdown. Surprised his hamstrings held up all 80 yards.

Note to Mangini, and all NFL coaches: If you reach the end of the game and you need 11 points, go for the touchdown first. The field goal does NOTHING. It never makes sense to kick a field goal when you need a touchdown in the 4th quarter. Ever. No wonder a bunch of you lose so often.


New England 34 – Pittsburgh 13

"Well, again, the safety play at that position was pretty inviting." – Bill Belichick

"I don't care what Coach Belichick has to say after the games regarding our performance. I compliment them for a great game and we move forward. His opinions are irrelevant to us, because we focus on what it is we do and how we prepare in moving forward. Do we need to get better play? Absolutely, but it won't be because he said it.” – Mike Tomlin

You get the feeling that over the next few years, the playing field between these teams will level out (Patriots have won 6 of the last 7 meetings)? Do you also get the feeling it will be due to the efforts of Mike Tomlin, and that the already frosty relationship between the rookie coach and the purported genius soon will contain real animosity? I do.

Mind you, I’m not entirely surprised by the outcome. I think almost everyone else was more surprised. See below for much more on the why and how and my general lack of surprise. But a few things of note and then we’ll move on.

I sure am glad for Vick, Petrino, the Falcons in general and the Mitchell report. If not for all of their drama, people might be talking about this game

I’ll give Belichick one thing, he certainly pays attention. One Patriots touchdown looked eerily familiar.

Can we just send the jury out of this one and declare Tom Brady a miserable human being? One his first touchdown pass and one where the Patriots exploited Anthony Smith, Brady went out of his way to trot down the field, single out Smith and brow beat him, screaming obscenities at Smith. Ok, I can understand you being pissed Smith made the ridiculous guarantee. And I can totally understand being pissed the headstrong safety called the Bungles receivers better. But your game plan was already geared toward humiliating him. If you really wanted to make your point, how about just walking up to him and saying something cold, like that one was for you. But to throw a hissy fit about it and using language you admit you cannot repeat in case your mother was listening? Are you a man or child?

Seriously, the poor sportsmanship, the cheating, the miserable ness, the whining, the petulant behavior, the joylessness in amazing accomplishments. When, tell me when, does karma come to strike back? Is she too busy at the moment doing publicity for My Name Is Earl? Someone break into the press junket and let her know what’s going on in Foxboro. I think she needs to know.

Hmmm, get killed by the elite team in the league on their field in the second half of the season, a potential rematch on the horizon in the playoffs where no one will give them a chance. I think this Steeler team has seen a similar situation, in say 2005?

If Belichick lets his team go undefeated, he’s dumber than I thought. By going undefeated in the regular season, you ratchet up your degree of difficulty in the playoffs to unknown proportions. And everyone knows the games in the playoffs are much more difficult than regular season affairs. If you go undefeated in the regular season, then lose in the playoffs, you would not be lauded, but ridiculed. It seems an unnecessary amount of pressure to apply to a team, especially one with an iffy, aging defense and a scant running game.

Aaron Smith went out of the game with a torn biceps, which explains the lack of a pass rush. And this week went out for the season and will require surgery. Which may explain our future lack of a pass rush should such a horrific occurrence comes to be. If ever there was a time for Nick Eason and Travis Kirschke to prove they are more than career journeymen, it is now.

What I liked from Pittsburgh – the Running game, the Passing game, the Run defense, Willie Parker leading the NFL in rushing.

What I did not like from Pittsburgh – Smith running his mouth and getting burned badly during the game. The defense giving up 399 yards of offense and letting Brady strafe them repeatedly without punishment. The red zone efficiency. Losing to a bunch of miserable, whiny cheaters.


NFL, the alternative Universe

Michael Vick faced his music, and it played to a tune of 23 months in prison. There still may be state charges against Vick, but that is unknown at the moment. What is known is that the very earliest he could be eligible for return to the NFL is 2009. That is f the state of Virginia does not pursue charges, if the NFL reinstates him and if some team is crazy enough to take a chance on him. I’m sure at this point the Dolphins would be happy to do anything to put people in the seats, even if it is taking on a convicted felon whose quarterback skills were questionable before a two year layoff from the game. We may have seen the last of Michael Vick in the NFL. Vick should be thankful. If he’d played two more seasons, opinions of him would have changed from dynamic game breaker to the next Kordell Stewart.

And the crap keeps rolling downhill for the Falcons. Head coach Bobby Petrino quit on the team, and his job, to bolt back to the security of the college ranks and snagged the head coaching job at Arkansas. Ironically, this happened the day after Arthur Blank said on national television he’s behind his coach for the future. Come on Petrino, Cam Cameron hasn’t given up yet, how can you? And for the rest of you NFL teams, please take note this situation, and Saban in Miami, and use it as a warning the next time you go sniffing around a big time college coach. They never transition well to the NFL once they’ve had the total autonomy that comes with coaching a college program.

A fan fell to his death at Monster Park during the 49ers game. The fan misjudged a ramp wall he attempted to sit on and plummeted 20 feet to the level below, landing on his head. Be careful at games, everyone, and mind the warning signs posted and don’t get goofy on ramps and walkways. Football games are supposed to be fun, exciting outings, not tragic scenes. Well, unless you’re watching a Raiders game.

Bronco punter Todd Sauerbrun was cited for simple assault early last Saturday stemming from an incident outside a restaurant. This could lead to more discipline from the NFL, who previously suspended Sauerbrun for the first month of the 2006 season for using a banned dietary supplement. Seriously? The punter? Who does he train with in the off season, Janikowski?

This is, bar none, the greatest story of the 2007 NFL season.


Upon Further Review

Too much baggage. As I feared, Pittsburgh had way too much baggage, too many questions and not enough answers for their trip to Foxboro.

Young Anthony Smith was given a valuable lesson. Some teams feed off of nonsense like guarantees. He seemed to not realize, or neglect the fact, that the core of the New England Patriots runs on an Us against the world mentality. And when they hear the world crowing for their collective necks, they stiffen up. And when one of the latest proclaimed giant killers starts spouting inflammatory rubbish, they get mad. New England molded that anger into a plan that made a young, headstrong safety pay dearly for making such foolish proclamations. Twice.

As last week progressed, I figured we were toast. Not that I did not believe we could win, just too many signs pointed to a loss. Everyone and their mother’s brother came out of the woodwork to jump on the Steeler bandwagon. They extolled the Steeler team as a giant killer noting past slayings, how they matched up against the Pats and how these favorable match ups would equate a destruction of the Patriots and their undefeated season. They gave lists of not how they could win, but why they would win. And all week hardly anyone said how, why, if or when the Pats would emerge from the contest victorious. And Belichick, Brady and the rest just sat there, saying very little, watching, and listening. They took it all in, and when Sunday came, they stood up and said, oh yeah? Well watch this. And they went to prompt work with typical results. All the babbling did all week was pump the heads of a team not ready to play the elite Patriot machine, and unfortunately reinvigorate that machine which had fallen into a lull over the past few weeks.

Pittsburgh was weighed down by the expectations, hopes and needs of everyone in the NFL universe minus Patriot fans. And they were obviously not ready to live up to those expectations. I thought they would probably lose, and while I hate it, it’s ok. We needed to see where we stood, and it’s not close to the level on which New England resides. But you need to find these things out now, before it matters most. I hope we get another crack at them in the playoffs. I hope we get another crack at Brady. I hope Polamalu is healthy, and efficient, for that contest. And I hope for a different result once the final gun sounds.


Steelers Around the World

The team and its faithful venture this week to much warmer climates, specifically to Barcelona. The second largest city in Spain is home to over 5 million people in the urban region of Barcelona. This cultural and economic center is a favorite tourist destination filled with a rich heritage on display for all to see.

The origin of Barcelona is quite interesting, and is the basis of two separate legends. The first is that the city was founded by Hercules 400 years before the building of Rome and then rebuilt by the Hamiclar Barca, Hannibal’s father. The second is not quite as interesting, merely attributing the city’s foundation directly to Hamiclar Barca. Either way, the foundations of this city are quite fascinating.

Located on the edge of the Mediterranean Sea, Barcelona’s climate and attractive beaches and parks make for a much desired vacation spot. In the coldest months of the year, Barcelona averages a temperature of 50 degrees, making it a great getaway location even in chillier weather. Snowfall is so rare in this region, locals look upon its rare happenings as a special event.

If visiting Barcelona and tiring of the beaches restaurants, shops and parks, one can find plenty to do in the museums, theaters and concert halls that permeate the city. The city has a museum for every taste and desire, ranging from Romanesque art, modern art and a Picasso museum to Egyptian, a renowned science museum and even one dedicated to erotica.

Let’s say none of these things are attractive, and you would prefer some sporting action. No problem, Barcelona has your ticket. Being the host of the 1992 Summer Olympics might help a city know a thing or two about putting on a sporting event. Soccer tops the popularity charts, with local team FC Barcelona being the biggest draw. It’s also one of the biggest in Europe and a two time winner of the UEFA Champions League. But Barcelona offers many other sporting events for the connoisseur to partake in, including basketball, handball and roller hockey.

For this game, we will play in one of Barcelona’s two UEFA 5 star rated soccer stadiums, the Camp Nou. Built between 1954 and 1957, this 98,772 seat capacity beauty is the largest stadium in Europe. Home to numerous soccer matches, the Camp Nou has also hosted numerous musical acts as well as Pope John Paul II. The stadium will soon undergo a remodeling for its 50th anniversary, adding 10,000 seats and becoming a larger part of the community.

The opponents who take the pitch to do battle with the Steelers will be the San Diego Chargers. Hailing from another sea side city with a great climate, the Chargers should feel right at home in Barcelona. Plus, the extra travel time from the West Coast might wipe them out.


Programming Change

So we have had the world of the NFL Network in our homes, ok some of our homes, for a few years now. I enjoy their programming, but they could do so much more. Honestly, how many times a day does one really need to see Total Access, especially in the off season? I’d say twice, tops. Some of the best shows to watch currently are repeats of America’s Game (boy they show the Steelers episodes often) or programs from the NFL Films archives.

As a matter of fact, one of the best NFL Films programs is always the Football Follies. Everyone loves the game already, so the appeal is there. The follies make it more relatable to the average viewer when we see these super human players act, well, goofy, funny or just make the typical human mistakes.

So why not expand on this? How about more original programming? Perhaps some with this wacky bent, or maybe a show geared toward spreading some information and knowledge to players and fans? How about an interview show? I think it’s high time the NFL Network increased its popularity, used the amazing tool that is television and expanded its programming. Lucky for them, I have a few ideas up my sleeve to get the network on its way.

Misery Football Theater – NFL Replay has been a hit. Taking the best games between talented opponents and giving them another viewing, how could it not be? But there are never 16 good games each week, no matter how good the match ups might be. So what to do with the crappy games? Just throw them in the archives, never to see the light of day again? Certainly not! Take a few hours show a few jokesters sitting around, watching the game and cracking wise. You could have a revolving list of people taking part each week, guest comedians, football fanatics, super fans. The possibilities, much like the jokes, would be limitless. And as long as we have the Falcons, Dolphins and Raiders, the games will be limitless as well.

Football Feast – Did you ever watch Taste of America with Mark DeCarlo on the Food Network? Mark hosts a fascinating show in which he travels around, finds some local delicacies and uncovers out how to make them and what makes them so darned tasty. But Mark never focuses long enough on one dish, restaurant or city, and I think he might be a little too irreverent as a host. Luckily, the NFL has a great host who could take this type of show to new heights. I’m speaking of course of perhaps the preeminent foodie in the NFL, John Madden. How would we know about turducken if it were not for John? Here is John’s opportunity to expose us to even more delicious morsels. This show would be perfect, and easy to do since each week Sunday Night Football already treats viewers to footage of a local delicacy being prepared. Why not just jump on this and run? It would be a perfect half hour show. John would wander down to a local favorite or hot spot, preferably with a player or two from the host city, and sample a unique dish. We’d see John talking with the proprietors, chefs and customers, and perhaps see John try his hand at making a dish. The show would end with John rating the food on a scale of 1 to 5 BOOMs. A hit before it even airs one episode.

Livin’ Large with Deion Sanders – This show is geared toward the younger set of fans, and players in the NFL. Each week, Deion takes a few boisterous, up and coming players and teaches them how to live large in the NFL world. Deion would dispense advice regarding celebrations on the field and in the end zone, trash talking, posse size and structure, the pluses and minuses of bling, housing and much more. By the end of each show, Deion will have instructed the kids in the proper ways to be Prime Time.

Safety First with Rod Woodson – One of the best safeties of all time, Rod brings his knowledge and experience to the airwaves. Each week Rod will dispense tips of the trade geared toward those who follow in his footsteps. How do deal with those pesky rug burns from artificial turf. Eye black, helpful or just cosmetic? Dealing with petulant receivers. Things that those who roam the defensive backfields need to know for today’s game.

I Was Running! – hosted by Marshall Faulk, this show would be a weekly interview segment featuring one of the games great running backs, and on occasion some of the worst or even those with shooting star careers. Marshall and the weekly guest will talk about their greatest runs, worst runs, craziest runs and if they ever had the runs. Plus whatever else comes to mind.

So how about it NFL Network, are you ready to expand your programming? Just give me a jingle, I’d love to sit in on Misery Football Theater, or hit a few spots with John. Say the word and I’m there. And maybe we can put a plan together to get the Super Bust moving as well.


Idiot of the week

Without a doubt, and with much embarrassment, this week we award Steeler safety Anthony Smith with our dubious honor. Not only did he make the ridiculous guarantee of a win over the Pats, while still hedging said guarantee with plenty of if we do this or that nonsense, but he did it without paying attention to the fact that the Patriots thrive on this sort of thing. Then he goes out and gets scorched in the game twice for touchdowns. Was it just me or did it seem as though New England purposely picked on the young safety? And then Monday, he shows no learning of lesson by spouting off that sure they lost, but Pittsburgh we’ll see the Patriots again next month. Come on Anthony! Learn when to say when! You got toasted, and now you’re calling them out again for a rematch, in the same stadium, during the playoffs? Mind you, I too would love to have another shot at them, but one must know when to back off. Anthony, boast only in victory, and then keep it muted. Let your play do the talking, not your mouth. You trash talked first, and then you got schooled. You talked again, and now you are an idiot.

An honorable mention goes out to Michael Vick, for throwing it all away over a despicable pastime.


On Tap This Week

Despite the horror of Sunday afternoon, from a picks standpoint, the week was none too shabby.

Last week 13-3
Season to date 138-70

If a certain team from a certain city known for its steel production would have been able to knock a certain whiny quarterback around, I may have won the week. But no worries, there is always next time. Now, how about we dive into this delicious spread of games?


Thursday

Denver (6-7) at Houston (6-7)

Sure its football, but at what price? Excuse me if both teams under whelm. Houston has had issue after issue, although for them this is thus far a successful season. Denver found some offense, but will they pack it for the trip? I say, and hope, yes.

Broncos over Texans


Saturday

Cincinnati (5-8) at San Francisco (3-10)

Bungles go for meaningless win number two over, Ummm, who does San Francisco have left at quarterback? The Patriots will sit at home rooting for Cincinnati. Boy that top five pick is looking mighty tasty right now.

Bengals over 49ers


Sunday

Buffalo (7-6) at Cleveland (8-5)

Who would have thought after week one that this would be an intriguing, and potentially great, game with playoff implications? Not I, for certain. But here we are. I’d like to see the Buffalo story continue, but something about these Cleveland dawgs tells me otherwise.

Browns over Bills


Tennessee (7-6) at Kansas City (4-9)

Yeah, umm. KC has already locked up their losing season, might as well go for double digit losses and good draft position. Plus, it might be nice if Vince Young finally showed up.

Titans over Chiefs


Atlanta (3-10) at Tampa Bay (8-5)

No franchise quarterback, no coach, no chance. Could things get any worse for Atlanta? Sure, how about another loss?

Buccaneers over Falcons


Seattle (9-4) at Carolina (5-8)

Hmmm, Seattle seems to be coming on strong as of late. Just the right time to get hot, too. Carolina begins the countdown to the Bill Cowher regime.

Seahawks over Panthers


Green Bay (11-2) at St. Louis (3-10)

Division champs? Check. Playoff spot secured? Check. What’s left for the Pack? How about some rehab snaps for Brett and showing off that diamond in the rough Ryan Grant.

Packers over Rams


Baltimore (4-9) at Miami (0-13)

Baltimore is broken, their spirit shattered after a disastrous near win and the emotional let down and destruction at the hands of the Colts. I hope they have enough left in their tanks to help keep history going. Perhaps Cleo Lemon can assist.

Ravens over Dolphins


New York Jets (3-10) at New England (13-0)

If Mangini is too afraid to go for the win on 4th down, behind by 5 points at home with less than two minutes remaining, how scared will he be this week? Wait, what am I saying, like he’d ever get that chance. Take the over, and the spread. Woof.

Patriots over Jets


Arizona (6-7) at New Orleans (6-7)

New Orleans found out last week it does not need Reggie Bush to win big. Arizona will be a test, no doubt, but something tells me the boys from Nawlins will prevail. Plus, who would have thought these two teams would be playing this late in the season in a game with playoff implications for both squads?

Saints over Cardinals


Jacksonville (9-4) at Pittsburgh (9-4)

The best test of a team comes after a tough loss, and how they perform the next week. Gee, I hope we pass this one. The boys have not had the best of luck with Jacksonville lately. Nah, no need to worry, we’ll find a way.

Steelers over Jaguars


Indianapolis (11-2) at Oakland (4-9)

There’s a good chance Indianapolis could be on Jim Sorgi time before the first half ends. Now there would be an intriguing side bet.

Colts over Raiders


Philadelphia (5-8) at Dallas (12-1)

The poor Eagles, blasted from all sides, the butt of numerous jokes, ridiculed, derided and put down. And that’s just from Philly fans. Things get no better this week.

Cowboys over Eagles


Detroit (6-7) at San Diego (8-5)

Merriman’s out for the game, sprained a knee ligament. I guess it’s harder to recover from injuries without roids. Rivers will play, though. Like it’ll make things better. Detroit will be shell shocked by letting the potential win last week slide through their paws.

Chargers over Lions


Washington (6-7) at New York Giants (9-4)

They’ve had time to rest, time to mourn and time to prepare. But there is no time left on their season, short of three games. And as stellar as Collins played last week that magic most likely will not continue.

Giants over Redskins


Monday

Chicago (5-8) at Minnesota (7-6)

FINALLY!!! Finally Lovie woke up and realized where his future is behind center. Much to my long standing request, and immeasurable delight, we’ll see Kyle Orton starting this week for the Bears!!!! Unfortunately, it’s too little too late. He should have been in there weeks ago.

Vikings over Bears