Friday, August 31, 2007

The Crystal Ball Final Tune Up

In our ever revolving attempts here at TCB to deliver better product, we’d like to introduce some changes for the upcoming season. In hopes of producing something more interesting, we are adding more structure and some regular features. So hopefully, it will be a more enjoyable read as opposed to lengthy ramblings with the consistency of a person with ADD in a store selling shiny objects.

So as promised and hinted at, we now present our coming attractions for the upcoming season. Please take a look at the following, as I introduce our new starting line up and throw an example of each for your reading pleasure.

Recap - Here, we will take a look at relevant or interesting items from the previous week’s games. As usual, since I write it, it will feature the usual long winded diatribe on last week’s Steelers game and some review of other contests I was able to watch. The tone of the other contests will probably be influenced whether Pittsburgh won or lost. Of course, the tone of the entire column will be based upon that.

Examples:

Philadelphia at Pittsburgh Sunday night, boy was there a lot of hard hitting and I loved it. Both teams seemed salty and ready for the season to begin. After watching, though I have come to the conclusion that the Steelers are their own worst enemy. If they can eliminate the mistakes, they will be unstoppable. With the mistakes, they could easily blow winnable games. Stupid interceptions and ill timed fumbles killed them in the first half, luckily not to the point where the game got out of hand. But still, when the games matter it and the opposing team presses an advantage, it could be disastrous. This is not a hard equation for anyone to figure out, but the Steelers better find a way to get on correct side of it.

Roethlisberger looked much better, but still showed his ability to make a stupid decision now and again. Seriously, it’s ok to take the sack. Parker needs to get some hand work in before the season starts, as does Willie Reid. But they looked much better overall. Except for their punt and kickoff return, I am certainly not impressed with that aspect of the game.

The Eagles looked ok, but they should have had a huge lead capitalizing on Pittsburgh’s miscues. To only have three points after two turnovers and a botched punt does not make me feel as though they have a great chance this season, despite what everyone is saying. I wonder if there is a sudden leadership, both physical and emotional, void on the team now with Trotter’s departure.

Andrea Kremer interviewed both starting quarterbacks during the game, and I had very different impressions of each. McNabb talked a lot during his interview, but said absolutely nothing. He never once answered any question she had directly. She had excellent questions too, very pointed and looking for information, but McNabb seemed to not want to really say anything. I can understand there is a certain level of PR involved, and no one wants to rock the boat, but if I want to see non-answers, I’ll watch a politician or Bill Belichick speak, thank you.

One additional note on the game was that for a small period, the play by play was cut. This was fantastic! Mind you, the Sunday Night crew is one of the better ones out there, but just not hearing constant blather and getting to concentrate on the action happening on the field was like a dream. Such a shame more games could not have this feature, even if it was merely accidental.

Stephen Gostkowski has missed three field goals in three games so far this preseason for the Patriots. Sure, it’s just preseason, but could it be a sign of things to come? The curse of Vinatieri is revealing itself.

NFL, the alternative Universe – This section will feature league news that does not focus on the games and occasionally strange stories that seem extra weird because they occur in the NFL Universe. You know, stories about offensive line coaches forwarding porn to the league offices, or coaches getting fast food with no pants or wide receivers pushing law enforcement officials down the street with their car. Things of that nature, and your regular old league related news as well.

Examples:

Bill Cowher has packed up his chin and moved it to the CBS pregame show. Wow, that was a quick retirement. So, was it really about family, or money? I got a ten spot says he took this job to keep his face out there and remind teams with shaky coaches he is available. Tracking for 2008 off season.

Ok, it seems I may have been wrong about Strahan, as he has still yet to make a decision or report. Shame to see it really is nothing more than a money squabble.

Upon Further Review – A new section that will feature 1 to 3 stories, depending on length and what is happening that week that stick out. Here we will take a closer look at these happenings and delve into them. It could be a rant, or explanation, talking strategy or just rehashing something that has already been beaten into the ground. Or example will fall into the last category.

Example:

The National Football League suspended Michael Vick indefinitely without pay. This comes on the heels of Vick admitting to his role in the dog fighting operation on his property. Vick is scheduled to be sentenced on December 10th.

Sometime this fall commissioner Goodell will meet with Vick to discuss his future and the events that have transpired over the summer. In a letter to Vick announcing the suspension, Goodell stated to Vick that, "Your admitted conduct was not only illegal, but also cruel and reprehensible. Your team, the NFL, and NFL fans have all been hurt by your actions".


Vick finally made a public statement about everything on Monday, apologizing to the league, the Falcons, Arthur Blank, commissioner Goodell, Falcon fans, league fans and kids everywhere for his actions and behavior. Most likely this is probably part of a long plan toward reinstatement into the league and trying to remove the tarnish from his now sullied reputation.

But part of me wants to believe he can change. Part of me wants to believe him when he says he wants to be a better person, and to change his life, and that he really does reject dog fighting and has learned why it is wrong. Is that not what we hope for with our justice system? That a man who commits a crime will be punished, learn from his mistakes, and move on with his life away from those things and become a productive member of society? That a person who does serve punishment is able to once again be the best person he or she can be? Of course it is. This is the basis of our justice system, and an ideal of our society. We want people to correct their mistakes and thrive afterwards. Mind you, I am not letting him off the hook by ANY means. A little speech does not make up for 6 years of heinous behavior by any stretch of the imagination. He still needs to be punished, and he has to do much, much more than say a few meaningful things to convince me that he really does believe what he said. First, it takes showing that what he said actually does have meaning, that the words carry real weight with him. Unless there is something behind them, they are merely words and have no meaning. And then it will take some meaningful actions and some true changes in his life. Show me you have changed, that you do care, and not just care about getting a paycheck and an NFL job again. But I want to believe he can become a better person, because if he can, then there is hope for others as well to turn their lives around. And the more who do, the better we are as a society. I hope he can change, but it is up to Michael now to fulfill that hope. You'll excuse me at this early juncture if my hope is tempered with a large amount of skepticism and doubt.


Steelers Around the World – This idea germinated from the NFL’s ever increasing efforts to expand the game to other parts of the globe. Each week we’ll pick a city it would be fun to watch the Steelers play in and why. The host city will be chosen by a multitude of reasons, including but not limited to the local fans, travel, history, food or other attraction. We’ll also pick an opponent that would match well with the city and the Steelers. This is high concept, and could be too much if the season gets crazy. I really want to do it, but it may turn into just another…..

Concepts – We introduced these last year, and they were a hit. They could be funny, interesting or even a really good idea disguised as nonsense. Some of the concepts we will be seeing this year will include:

Revelations – Good for midseason.

Thanksgiving thanks – Yes, cheesy, but I enjoyed it.

Ad Watch – An easy choice, considering how crazy the NFL sponsors can be and how grating those commercials can get once you have heard them for the 1 millionth time!

Best Names – There are some good names out there on NFL rosters, someone should highlight them.

Shocking - Painfully obvious statements and news. When you hear it, you think, well duh, are they really that dumb?

Super Bust watch - follow two teams picked throughout the season and their chances for the Super Bust. When we reveal our entrants, we will go over this again. Oh how I wish they'd play this game!

There will be others as well; this is just merely a taste.

Idiot of the week – A personal favorite I am happy to see back. Players, coaches, broadcasters, league officials and others attached to the NFL are all eligible. No idiot this week, everyone is trying too hard to keep their head down before week one.

Bye week teams – Here we’ll list the teams with the week off, and what they will do with the time and what they should do with it. We will not see this one for a few weeks, and it will be gone before the end of the season, much like Cadbury eggs.

Slate of games and picks – The section that started it all. Here we try to pick the winners and losers week in and week out in an attempt to show some football acumen. Here we look at each game, find a thread regarding each match up to explore, and then shoot in the dark to pick a winner as usual. As an added feature, this season we will add their season records as well as team records for match ups.


And that is it, ladies and gentlemen, our preview of things to come here for 2007. So now take this weekend to relax, barbeque, hit the beach, rivers and pools. Soak in the last bits of summer, because next week, it begins. See you then!

Friday, August 24, 2007

The Crystal Ball Preseason Special

Hello all and welcome to our preseason special. Ok, it is not really all that special, mostly just a collection of items from the last few weeks with a few wrinkles thrown in. But since the real game action will not start for a few weeks yet, we thought we’d keep the fires stoked and the appetites whetted with some additional football news.

To start off, let us take a look back at the Hall of Fame weekend.

Congratulations to the newest members of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. What an exclusive fraternity of greats these men have now joined. Each year, the one part of the weekend that always enthralls me even more than the inductions itself is the annual Nitschke luncheon, which is attended solely by members of the Hall. No spouses, children, friends, reporters or even league officials. The only way to get in is to have been given one of those yellow jackets. Can you imagine how cool that must be? Nothing more than a room full of the greatest players ever to strap on a helmet talking football, what the Hall means to them and swapping stories. Oh to be a fly on the wall at this event, it must be spectacular.

The men inducted this year provided some of the most poignant moments from any induction ceremony. Every one of them seemed to have that one moment that just blew you away with emotion. Let’s take a brief look.

Roger Wehrli – Possibly the last St. Louis Cardinal ever to be inducted, Wehrli seemed to make it through his induction with ease and grace. But his story afterwards got to me, when he spoke of how after it was over, and he left the stage, the emotions of the day overtook him and he broke down. No one is immune from the emotional ride that is an induction to the hall.

Bruce Matthews – The longtime Oiler/Titan had a double hit that got to me. The first was just a testament to his longevity, as he spoke of Archie Manning taking him out for pizza early in his career, and then playing against his son Peyton at the end of it. The second was a touching tribute to his older brother, his inspiration and drive to play in the league, by saying the only detraction from the day was not being put in the hall to join his brother there.

Gene Hickerson – The famed pulling guard for the Browns who blocked for three Hall of Fame running backs never said a word, and it spoke volumes. His son gave his speech, and introduced his father, now frail and racked with Alzheimer’s disease. But in tribute to the man who paved the way for them those three backs, Leroy Kelley, Bobby Mitchell and Jim Brown, pushed Hickerson out onto the stage, letting him lead the way one more time.

Thurman Thomas – One of the key components of the K-Gun offense in Buffalo in the early and mid 90s, Thomas infused his speech with humor and touching moments. Especially touching was the moment when he asked his wife if she would marry him again. In case you are wondering, she said yes.

Charlie Sanders – The tight end from Detroit who set the standard of what a pass catching tight end would become in the NFL had the moment of the night for me. He spoke of the long time tradition of players mugging for the cameras and saying hi mom, and how he wished to do that. His mother passed away when he was two, and he never really knew her. But on this night, he took the opportunity to finally say something he had wanted to his entire career, hi mom. If that does not get to you, you must be made of stone.

Michael Irvin – The former Cowboy used his magical moment of career excellence to humble himself and encourage more from his sons. He made reference to his off the field troubles as a player, and used it to show others that if you believe, and do not give up on your dreams, you can succeed. But he went on to say of his hopes and prayers that he can still do more and become a better person, so his sons will be better men, husbands, role models and fathers that he has been. Irvin, once known for flamboyance, humbled by the honor and showed his failings in hopes of raising good men. For many, he stole the show. I will not argue that.

Once again, congratulations to all. Moving on, let us take a look at some of the happenings in the league over the last few weeks. And it has been a doozy.


News Around the league.

Let’s start out with some tame stuff and then move to the elephant in the room.

Eli vs. Tiki – Tiki Barber called out Eli Manning’s leadership on his radio show, and Eli blasted back at Tiki for being a distraction last season. Look, I question his leadership and his quarterbacking skills all the time. It amazes me that every fantasy ranking I see puts Eli ahead of Big Ben. How is this possible? All Ben has done is rewrite the book on what a young quarterback can do and win a Super Bowl. In the same time, Eli has led the Giants to average seasons and two playoff losses. Sorry, I get rankled when people are down on Roethlisberger. But in this case I’m siding with Eli. I agree that Tiki announcing his retirement in the middle of the season was selfish and a complete distraction for the rest of the season. And to now sit and criticize the team you once played for? Tiki, I supported you when you announced the retirement, and people gave you tons of nonsense. I understood why. But if all you are going to do now is sit around and use insider information to make inflammatory comments to get your fledgling broadcast career off the ground, well, you’ll be pretty much most ex-athletes entering the broadcast world. Flashing back to Jerome Bettis and his thoughts on Cowher’s retirement last August.

And speaking of the Bus, it seems he has an interesting new tome hitting bookshelves. Our dear Jerome has penned an autobiography in his retirement, and apparently it contains quite a few interesting nuggets. Amongst them is his contention that the team and Cowher conspired to get rid of Kordell Stewart because of money, and that he faked a knee injury to keep the team from cutting him in 2000. It seems as though it should make an interesting read, and with revelations like that, I am sure Steeler Nation will drive sales through the roof to find out what else Jerome has to say.

But this bugs me. Jerome’s feelings on the Kordell situation are mere opinions, with nothing backed up by fact. As a matter of fact, some statements he made about Kordell’s contract situation at the time have already been proven as false. Plus, it has also come out that his statements on his own situation regarding the knee injury have numerous questions surrounding him. Namely his statement regarding being potentially replaced by Richard Huntley, a player who barely played in the preseason due to injury. They seem to be inflammatory comments contrived to spark controversy, nothing else.

What really irks me about them is that they are a slap to the face of an organization that stood behind him all the way through his career, and a slap toward the fan base of that team. I am sure the comments will sell books, but it will also burn some bridges. Jerome’s popularity amongst Steeler fans and in the city is immense, and to come out and start making veiled bashes against the team and the fans in an attempt to sell books will only hurt that popularity and eventually his ability to market and sell products in the long run. Every team does things that are unpopular, because at the end of the day it is a business. No one likes to think about them, but we all know those things happen. And if Jerome has some stories to tell, I have no problem with him sharing them or his thoughts and opinions on how a team is run and how he feels it should be run. However, he should make sure whatever stories he sells have fact to back them up, and not merely sensationalized opinions created to move product. He should remember where his bread used to be buttered, and where it will be in the future.

Let's be thankful it wasn't us. But let's react like it was.

-- Roger Goodell to his officiating department on the heels of the NBA referee fiasco.

It is this kind of proactive thinking that will help Goodell make the NFL even bigger and better. And if you think it cannot get bigger, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I would like to sell you.

And speaking of getting bigger, Fox has announced some plans for its coverage of the Super Bowl this year. They announced that they will employ a host for its additional coverage of the event. Who you ask? Well, none other than Ryan Seacrest. Yes, I rolled my eyes too and no, I cannot figure out his appeal either. If you ask me, they should have just gone all the way and put out a bowl of vanilla ice cream to host the festivities. At least it would be interesting to watch the ice cream melt and the bowl would lack Seacrest’s smarmy facial expressions.

But before we can even get to the Super Bowl, we need to have the first event of the season, kick off weekend. As recent tradition has held, the opening game on Thursday night will feature the defending champions, this year the Indianapolis Colts, at home versus another top tier team, this season that honor goes to the New Orleans Saints. To hype the event, the NFL has started running a great commercial featuring Reggie Bush and Peyton Manning trying to out prank each other by having absurd things sent to each other’s hotel rooms. An excellent spot and the one line Reggie says as he is impersonating Peyton kills me every time. Amongst the festivities scheduled for the big day, we will be treated to a live performance from John Mellencamp. Gee, that’s current. Think he’ll sing “This is our country”? Boy I sure hope so, I don’t know about you but I just can’t get enough of that song! And it seems so long since last I heard it; I may be going into withdrawal.

As has been widely reported, the new green dot on quarterback helmets this season is to denote which one has radio inside. As each offense is only allowed to have one player on the field at a time with radio communication and this is the NFL’s new method of identifying who has the radio. Normally, this is not an issue as just quarterbacks have the special helmets, but it could be on kicking plays if the quarterback holds for the kicker. But what is to stop anyone from peeling off the sticker, I wonder? Plus, the neon green dot looks atrocious on every helmet, sticking out worse than a cat at a dog park. I wonder if they could have made it less obvious, like writing in huge block letters RADIO INSIDE on the helmet over the logo.

In other uniform news, it seems the Ravens have now also become smitten with the monochromatic look, sporting all black uniforms with a hint of purple shading for their game against the Giants. No, no, no. No more of this look. It looked awful on the Jaguars, it looked awful on the Cardinals, it looked awful on the Eagles and it looks awful on the Ravens. Why do teams do this? The Cardinals are the exception here, but I have noticed over the past few years more and more teams incorporating black into their uniforms, and then making it the predominant color in their scheme. Hey, if you do not like the colors you began with, tough. You picked them. The Eagles have lost that great green from the 70’s and 80’s, which is a shame. The Ravens have a great color scheme dominated by a vibrant purple, why throw that away? The Jaguars I can understand, because who feels tough in teal? But it worked for the Dolphins to the tune of two Super Bowl wins. So to all teams who start changing their color schemes; please stop. You may hate the colors now, but at some point you picked them, so stick with them. Stop changing colors and designs because you are bored or want to raise revenue and forcing your loyal fans to purchase all new gear since the stuff they own is now suddenly out of date. I’m looking at you Minnesota, Denver, Buffalo, San Diego and New England.

Hmmm, look, another interesting quote from the commissioner.

"I've told Pacman [Jones] and any player, 'You have to earn your way back into the National Football League, and you have to earn it through your conduct.' It's not about what you tell the commissioner, or what you tell anyone. It's your conduct and your activities. I was disappointed with some of the activities that Pacman got involved in this spring, after we met and had a lot of discussions.''

-- Roger Goodell.

Thought this was an interesting quote to lead into….Pacman Jones signed a contract to appear on TNA Wrestling. So glad he is serious about turning around his life and eliminating potential pit falls and bad decisions during his suspension. The Titans actually fought this, as his contract states he cannot do anything potentially physically detrimental outside of football. (By the way, all players have this in their contracts.) All parties agreed that he could be on the shows, just not do anything. Yeah, that makes it better. Pacman is also working on a rap single to be released this month. That Pacman; he is just a pillar of the community. Well, at least he’s not dog fighting.
Mr. Wonderful Tom Brady wants time off for his baby boy, who was born this week. So you knock up your ex, then you want others to pick up the slack at work for you. Real smooth Tom. Rumor has it the Patriots have already tendered a contract to the newborn, to lock up their quarterback position for the future and the baby is scheduled to appear on the cover of GQ next week for their most beautiful baby edition.

Eagles released uber popular linebacker Jeremiah Trotter. It seems the Steelers are not only team letting go of emotional leaders. Trotter is good, and can thrive with the right team. I bet more than a few clamor for his services. Already the Buccaneers are looking to acquire his talents and leadership.

Mr. 85 himself, Chad Johnson, has promised for the upcoming season more fun, craziness and a monster year. I wonder what that will translate into on the field. He has also stated he has something planned for his first touchdown of the season that could get him fined. I never thought I’d say this, but now I want to watch a Bungles game.

You can put me firmly in the camp of Mike Tomlin fans. He made a statement immediately in camp about how physical the team would be, and it has been showing in their games so far.

And speaking of Tomlin, he blew me away before the Hall of Fame game. To preface, I have a favorite quote from Chuck Noll. When asked about pressure Noll would say, and I paraphrase, that pressure is what you feel when you do not know what you are doing. Before the game, Tomlin was asked if he felt any pressure being the coach of such a storied team and coaching in his first game. Tomlin responded by saying that pressure was trying to feed your family. I now have a new favorite quote. Intelligent, savvy, tough AND loaded with common sense, how can you not love Tomlin?

For a story that covers both Steeler news and weird NFL news, the website thesmokinggun.com obtained a copy of the Steelers hotel rider. In case you are wondering what a rider is, it is a document provided to a venue from entertainment acts outlining their requirements. Musicians and bands typically have these for the venues these play, some of them with really weird requests. I know someone in a band who says their rider includes a provision for brand new, white tube socks. When I asked why, he said you always need socks. Life on the road is indeed different. Anyway, the Steelers rider outlines all of their requirements and needs for when they stay at a hotel on road trips. It is a fascinating read. Check it out here.

Ok, let’s talk holdout.

First off is Michael Strahan. Let’s get one thing straight, it’s not about money, it’s not about respect nor is it about the 10 million other speculations people are putting out about the situation. This is about camp. Strahan does not want to go. This will be his 15th season, and he does not want to start it off by banging his aging body around for a month in the blazing August sun and heat. I’ll bet 10 bucks that he reports RIGHT after camp breaks. He just does not want the wear, tear, monotony and pain that is training camp. He feels he has proven himself, and at this point he just wants to play on Sundays. Now, Giants camp breaks Thursday the 23rd, and Strahan has said a decision on his future will come either Friday or Saturday. Who wants to bet he shows up at Giants headquarters? No one? Come on, I could use an extra 10 bucks.

Larry Johnson finally reported, as the Chiefs broke down and paid him, with a big chunk in guaranteed money. I guess they felt they needed him more than they realized, and that rookie Kolby Smith and a rebuilt Priest Holmes might not be able to carry the load. Well, I hope Larry enjoys his cash, because he will not enjoy his season. With that increasingly patchwork offensive line in front of him, I bet he does not have the monster season he had last year. Plus, history is against him, as running backs that had over 400 carries in a season typically do not fair well during the following campaign. This could be an interesting story to watch.

JaMarcus Russell is still unsigned and has not been near Raiders camp. Can you blame him?

Brady Quinn ended his ridiculous hold out and signed with the Browns. Too bad you blew your chance at the starting job Brady. Yeah, that’s right, blew it. Sure, you might be able to catch up on the tons of learning and timing you need and might even be installed as the starter, but it will take far longer to make up the team camaraderie you missed and to earn the respect of your teammates. I’m so glad we get to beat up on Quinn and the Browns twice a year.

A quick aside here for a moment if you will indulge me. I do not understand rookies holding out for money or fat contracts with tons of incentives. How do teams justify paying someone who has yet to perform? Sure, they are banking on the promise and hope of the player chosen, but said players have yet to do anything to earn it. What happened to earning your way? Now, I can understand why rookies hold out to get the extra money. The market has proven it will bear such fruits, and why not make sure you have a financial future locked up in case you suffer a career ending injury. But why do owners and teams allow this market to exist? It seems quite backwards and idiotic to me.

Oh, that nasty injury bug is biting everywhere this time of year.

Tampa Bay Buccaneer Mike Alstott was placed on injured reserve for the season with neck injury. There has been speculation that this could be the end of his illustrious career. I always liked Alstott, a great back with lots of power. When the Bucs needed a few tough yards, all they had to do was give the ball to Alstott. You just don’t see many like him anymore. If this is the end of the road for him, then Mike we wish you well and thank you.

New Jet running back Thomas Jones has a calf injury. Once again questions regarding the Jets running game will start. The injury does not seem that bad as Jones is already back to practice, but wait until he has one bad game. The New York fans are quite unforgiving and vocal. This is especially bad as Kellen Clemens has spent training camp muddying up the quarterback waters. Mangini seems to have added questions instead of answers during camp.

Terrell Owens has been having some back trouble. Not surprising. It must be hard to walk around all day with that gigantic ego perched atop ones neck.

Randy Moss has a bad hamstring. Even better is this is just one more injury in a history of leg issues. Yeah, that sure will change fortunes in Foxboro.

New Dolphin Joey Porter has been having trouble with his right knee. Porter had arthroscopic surgery performed to do some clean up work. Apparently, the trouble began during the off season. The real problem is this is his third scope in two years and now it seems as though he has had some trouble healing after the surgery. Not a good start for the Dolphins and their hopes for a better season. Of course, those hopes went away when they invested their quarterback future on 37 year old Trent Green.

The Colts will lose DT Anthony McFarland for the season with an ACL injury. That could seriously hurt their chances at a repeat this season and severely impact their run defense. This is obviously their biggest concern, as their defense was reworked during the off season due to free agent departures. The retirement of Tarik Glenn could have been a major problem, but it seems rookie Tony Ugoh has stepped in admirably and the Colt offense has yet to miss a beat.

In a weird twist, the McDougal brothers both suffered season ending injuries. Stockar, an offensive lineman for the Jaguars, went down with a ruptured Achilles tendon. His younger brother Jerome, a defensive end for the Eagles, suffered a torn triceps. In an eerie twist, both men suffered their injuries on the same day. What a crappy day in the McDougle house. Here’s hoping they both have a speedy and full recovery.

Jeff Fisher benched Vince Young before the Titans first preseason game because he did not stay with the team at the team hotel. What an odd rule, but good on Fisher for showing Young who was in charge and for also showing the other players that no one is above the best interests of team. But was that really what happened, or just the story that came out to cover up that Fisher was not going to play Young anyway. Or was Young harboring a secret injury, and Fisher did not want to risk further damage? Or am I reading too much into it?

New Raider coach Lane Kiffin was hospitalized for two days with a viral infection. See, the Raiders really are a disease, and now they are killing this healthy, young man. The Raiders can strike at any age. No one is immune to them. There is no vaccine. Total quarantine and eradication are the only solutions to ridding ourselves of this disease. Someone call the CDC immediately and get them quarantined from the league before someone else succumbs to this dreaded menace. Sometimes, the jokes just write themselves.

Since I cannot think of any good way to segue into it, let’s just get it over with.

Vick Watch – With his other co-defendants coping pleas and turning witness against him, Vick’s pocket finally collapsed with nowhere to scramble. He will be in court Monday to cop a plea himself to avoid a trial. The plea Vick will enter based on papers filed today state his pleading guilty to providing the dogs, property and funding the operation as well as killing underperforming dogs with his co-conspirators.

What a sad tale this has been from every standpoint. Just about everyone has weighed in with their opinion on the matter, with every possible perspective being examined. We will too, with an appropriate punishment, but I would like to bring up a fascinating article first. Gregg Easterbrook of ESPN.com wrote this article recently, stating that he has sympathy for Vick. I found it a most original take on the situation and encourage others to read it. I find him an engaging author, especially his weekly football columns. Mind you I am not bashing Mr. Easterbrook, or calling him on the carpet. I think his article is well thought out and thought provoking. I certainly do not want to flame him here, as I am sure more than a few people have already through his email, and more will as well with Vick pleading guilty. I just disagree with a few of his points on this particular subject, so let’s break it down.

The first point of contention I have is with Mr. Easterbrook’s sympathizing with Vick because of the cult of celebrity that surrounds athletes. He wonders if Vick, since the age of 16, has had anyone around that ever told him no. An excellent question and I am sure the answer to it is, ironically, no. And the cult of the celebrity athlete is bad. Most athletes are surrounded by sycophants and yes men just happy to be near said athlete, or worse on their payroll. These people never say no, no matter how badly the athlete needs to hear it for fear they will lose their meal ticket or be banished from the inner circle. Easterbrook calls out Vick as responsible for his own actions, and admonishes those around him for using Vick for their own gain with no concern for the man himself. I agree with all of this.

But the important part here is that Vick IS responsible for his own actions, whether those around him care what he does or not. Whether or not he has ever heard no in his life should not make a difference. His conscience should tell him no if no one else will. His sense of decency and common sense should have been screaming no. I understand that those with fame, money and power live in a different world, but the basic tenants of being a human should still apply. If you stamp out that nagging voice in the back of your head and do what you want anyway, I have no sympathy for you. Since I am sure he is not the only celebrity without that voice or someone to tell them no, perhaps this situation can be used as a big “no” to all athletes and celebrities who think that they can get away with whatever they please. Too many athletes and marginally famous people nowadays get away with boatloads of infractions that would have the average person thrown into jail. Why? Because they are famous that’s why. Perhaps it is time someone is used as an example, and since everyone seems to be waiting for Lindsey Lohan to overdose and use her as a cautionary tale instead of stepping in to stop her and get her some real help, maybe Vick can be the warning. Cold? Yes. Reactionary? Possibly. Wrong? Well, that depends on how you feel about our cult of celebrity and privilege in this country.

This brings us to my second point. Here Easterbrook sympathizes with Vick because of just that, because he is being used to “send a message”. I agree with Easterbrook that this case should be based upon its own merits. I am sure when sentencing occurs, it will be. How the NFL will treat it is another story, and they very well might use Vick as an example. Goodell is very tough, and he is on a crusade to eliminate anything and banish anyone that could threaten the league as a product and brand. Others need to know this and other nefarious activities are unacceptable and Goodell is more than happy to remind anyone who questions otherwise.

What really does not help Vick right now in the court of public opinion is our love and affection for dogs in this country. People have an attachment toward dogs sometimes stronger than they have for other people. Dogs are defenseless creatures that look upon humans for care and love and they love you back unconditionally. Making them fight for sport and killing them when they do not win is destroying that trust and shows what concern those who do such things have for life in general. People are tired of seeing rich athletes with an inflated sense of entitlement get away with things that would get most everyone else thrown in prison for a long time with nary an afterthought. After a while, it makes people not want to watch the games anymore. The NFL sees this, especially in this situation as people’s love for dogs has brought a higher level of disgust and anger than normally would be seen in a situation where an athlete has become embroiled in a criminal scandal. Add to this the additional sense of anger some fans feel of seeing other athletes before him getting away with questionable behavior almost scot-free, and now the NFL faces a situation that could cause it to stumble. Goodell knows that Vick does need to be an example, not only to other athletes that they will not get away with such activities on his watch, but also to fans that if someone tries something, he will be there to mete out punishment and keep such activity away from the game. It may not be right to use Vick and this particular situation to send a message. But I cannot feel sympathy for him if the mess he has created is used by the league as a warning, a cautionary tale and to send a message because the only person who created this mess is Vick himself.

Easterbrook also sympathizes with Vick because this is his first offense, and the hammer is coming down especially hard, potentially from the courts and the NFL and definitely in the court of public opinion. I think it needs to be pointed out that while yes, this may be Vick’s first criminal offense, it is beyond huge. This is not public drunkenness or smoking weed, which there are questions about his smoking anyway, but training, fighting and killing dogs for pleasure and financial gain and being mixed up in gambling rings. Plus, and this is important, this is his first KNOWN criminal offense. If he could keep something of this scope under wraps for as long as he has, who knows what else he may have been doing.

I tentatively agree with Easterbrook that the uproar might not be as loud if the athlete in question were white. I say tentatively because I hope that the uproar from people would be because a famous athlete was involved with dog fighting, not because a famous black athlete did it. I am not naïve, however, and know his skin color probably does play into the anger of some people. And while this may be, we cannot let whether or not that is playing a factor some people’s anger obscure what is really at the center of this situation. This is not about race; it is about privilege and money getting away with anything. Vick feels he can get away with whatever he wants because of his station and athletic prowess. If you doubt this, watch one of his old games. He never works to improve his skills as a quarterback, which is evident in his play. It is also why for years everyone has called him exciting but no one has ever called him a top tier quarterback. And when asked about practicing his skills and improving his game, he would defiantly state how he does not need to practice or improve, and how he is the best. This attitude permeates everything he does. I would be willing to bet he was surprised he got busted on the dog fighting. He probably felt he could do anything he wanted. Somewhere he believed too much of the hype and forgot that you have to work to be the best. Ask Peyton Manning how much he works.

The optimistic side of me wants to believe that race is not a part of the fervor this case has created, but the realistic side of me knows for some people, it is the very core of the situation. That thought makes me sad and also shows me how much further we do need to go in race relations in our country. I will tell you this, if this had been Peyton Manning or Tom Brady, I’d be just as mad. Well, madder if it was Brady since he’s such a jerk anyway.

One point Easterbrook seems to miss is the gambling aspect. This is extremely important in this case, as it has ruined many careers before Vick’s. To the NFL, this is far worse than the actual dog fighting, and could be the thing that really ends his career and gets him thrown out permanently. As Vick is still maintaining his innocence on the gambling charge stating he never did gamble or receive any money from gambling, so we will never know if he did or not. But the fact that he was mixed up in gambling rings is bad enough in and of itself. Gambling affects the entire league, every player, every coach and every personnel person employed by every team. If people begin to think players are involved in gambling rings, they will worry that the games themselves might be compromised. If that happens, the NFL would be facing a crisis as bad or worse as the NBA is currently facing. Goodell will do whatever it takes to keep even a hint of that doubt from sniffing his league.

Easterbrook also sympathizes with Vick because of other factors as well, the bad advice he has received from many including his lawyers, how he has made the situation worse and because no one seems to be willing to step up and say anything on Vick’s behalf. He sympathizes also because it would seem that justice will not be served here, and the emotional aspects of the case will cloud judgment and potentially cause Vick to lose his career. I say tough.

While Vick may not have laid a bet on a fight, he did everything else. He supplied the money and location for the training, equipment and the dogs. At the very least, he provided the resources for the operation and he was present at the fights and during the executions of the dogs that fought poorly. Vick helped mastermind, bankroll and setup an organization designed to train dogs to fight and kill other dogs for the pleasure of humans and provide venues for gambling on fights. And if any dogs did not fight well, he had a personal hand in killing those dogs. I want to note that again, he killed dogs that fought poorly. He and his cohorts summarily executed defenseless dogs they trained to fight because they did not live up to their established standards of a fighting dog. This was not a half baked idea, as the organization has been in existence, from what the court documents say, for six years. Six years! This is cold, calculated planning and execution, no pun intended, of a master plan. He knew this was wrong. He KNEW it. You do not spend that much time hiding an operation of this nature and your own deplorable actions from everyone if you think it is acceptable in society. And I refuse to sympathize for someone because they are stupid. Yes, I said stupid. If he is dumb enough to risk everything he has and has built himself into on something as heinous as training dogs to fight and kill each other, he deserves whatever comes to him.

Now, personally, I am an avid dog lover, and I think what Vick did is disgusting and I wonder aloud what kind of human being could possibly find pleasure in watching dogs fight each other, sometimes to the death. How can you sleep at night comfortably when during the day you train creatures to viciously attack and kill each other for sport and pleasure? But, I also know that most of the analysts are right. We are a forgiving country who tends to forget things over time, and if Vick serves his punishment and shows contrition and says and does all the right things, people will forgive and probably cheer him on again one day, if the NFL allows him to play. After all, is that not the basis of our system of justice, that once a man does the punishment for his crime he be allowed to once again live his life and work to better it? Sure. It is hard to see that now, as this situation is almost volatile with the emotion it brings forth.

So yes, there may be a day we see him in uniform again. I say let it be this season. Why not? The punishment I feel would be appropriate would not take that long, and he might be able to suit up before the season ends. Let’s not waste anymore money on courts and lawyers and all the other nonsense. He is admitting his guilt so let’s skip all legal red tape and go straight to the punishment and let him, and us, move on with life. And the punishment is really simple. I say, make him fight every one of those dogs he trained. 3 minute rounds with one minute between rounds, one dog per round and each dog to follow one right after another. With 50-60 dogs, that seems a fitting punishment if you ask me. And after it is all over, if he is up to it Vick can play football to his heart’s content. Once he knows how those dogs felt in that ring, the ones he professed to love so much, then maybe he will have truly learned a lesson.

Just thinking about that was as bad as I thought. Boy, am I glad that is over with. Perhaps we should look at something much more enjoyable, and the real center of all of this nonsense.

Game action

Preseason football is just, well, weird. Yes, weird. The starters are more like shooting stars, one minute they are there and the next gone to sucking Gatorade on the sidelines. You can watch a game and be completely enthralled by a player that lights up the field, only to see him cut a few weeks later. You spend so much time trying to figure out who half the people are on the field, you begin to lose interest in the actual game. Plus, there is no real urgency from either team, since the established players are just trying not to get hurt. And if your team loses, you do not feel bad, since it really does mean nothing. The only people who really care are the coaches trying to evaluate talent and the players looking to get a roster spot or those on the bubble trying to keep theirs. But we are so excited about football, we watch anyway. And worse, people pay regular season prices for tickets to the games. Sure, most games you can see a multitude of empty seats, but those in attendance do not care, nor those watching, for that matter. Most games are tape delayed, but still we tune in despite already knowing the outcome. It is just so good to have the season upon us; we forget all these little things and revel in yet another fall of football action. Like I said weird.

With that being said, I have only caught a few games so far, being preseason and all. But for fun and practice for the season, I did catch a few. Here is what I’ve seen thus far.

Of course I watched the Hall of Fame game. It was fantastic. Sure it is only preseason, and in the grand scheme of things the game meant nothing. But it is still nice to watch a win. Especially one that was so physical. The Steelers came out ready to hit and hit hard, and they did. They beat up on the Saints, every line, every string of player hit hard and often. They looked sharp early with their starters, and that sharpness continued with the backups and with their backups. If things progress like this, I will feel really good about the upcoming season. Roethlisberger looked great and immediately started to put to rest the multitude rumors and opinions of how he is nothing more than a game manager and will not be able to put the game on his back and win it without a ton of help from his running game. Mind you, he was only in for a series, and there are still lots of questions, but he had an excellent start. Here is the impression I got from watching this game. The Saints defense has holes in the run defense and secondary, despite their acquisition of cornerbacks. The Steelers are going to smack people in the mouth, despite their new wide open offense.

Their next two games were not as exciting, each one showing a different look. Unfortunately for the offense, Tomlin has been experimenting with different starters on the offensive line. The side effect of this is that they have yet to gel, and the offense suffers for it. But, better to do it now instead of say week 10. Since this week is week three of the preseason, we should see much more. Teams always play their starters much longer in the week three preseason game, to really see what they have. It is the best game to watch before September. Note to everyone, watch your team play this week, you will have a much clearer idea where they will be on September 9th.

I watched part of one of the Jets preseason games. The only interesting part that caught my attention was when a cat ran across the field. He did not stay long, much like most Jets fans. Even they seem less than excited about preseason football.

"I've visited the Patriots, Ravens, Colts, Giants, Redskins, Eagles and Bears thus far this summer. Baltimore is the most complete and best team I've seen to this point.''

-- Rick Gosselin, Dallas Morning News

I thought Mr. Gosselin had quite the observation, considering the caliber of the teams he did visit. Funny how someone from Dallas had not attended the Cowboys camp, but that is neither here nor there. From the list of teams, it is obvious he is scouting out the NFC East competition. And he may be right; the Ravens may very well be the most complete. However, they are still coached by Brian Billick, and that makes them far from the best team. Why? I thought you would never ask.

I watched the Ravens take on the Giants at home. I missed the first half of the game, because of prior obligations, so I missed all the starters in their preseason glory. But I did catch the rest, and it told me everything I need to know about the upcoming Ravens season and playoff hopes.

Here is the situation. The score is 13-9 Giants. It’s the 4th quarter with 2:44 left in the game. The Ravens have the ball at the Giants 20 on 4th down and 7. Odds are they will probably not see the ball again, and if they do, it will be with less than a minute to go. What should they do in this situation, kick a field goal and hope for the best, or go for it? They should go for it and here is why. One, it puts the onus to win on the team. The coach is saying I believe you guys can win this game and get that first down or touchdown. He also is saying to the defense, I believe if they miss, you will get us the ball back in good field position. The Raven defense has been touted all preseason as even better than last year, and last year they were phenomenal. So why not trust your offense and defense to win the game? Nope, Billick sends out the kicking team, and the Ravens never score again.

I know what you are thinking, so what, it’s just preseason, it does not matter. That is exactly the point. Now is the time to establish things like going for a win, placing trust in your team, practicing what to do in this situation BECAUSE it does not matter. Now is the time to find out what you can and cannot do, under real game conditions without the pressure of needing a win or suffering a loss. There will be games this season when the Ravens will face this exact situation and it will matter. And what will the Ravens do then? Kick the field goal and hope for the best, or go for the throat? Seeing what they practice in preseason, it would seem they will be hoping wins will magically fall into their laps. Personally, I’m glad to see them waffling during tough situations, it will make it that much easier to put them away and reclaim the AFC North crown.

Now, after looking at that situation and how they played it, tell me how the Ravens are the most complete and best team out there?

I also watched the Cardinals/Texans clash, mostly because it was on. I did take a few things away from the contest. The Texans look to be a bit better on offense, perhaps Matt Schaub will help their anemic offensive output. Of course, they were playing the Cardinals in preseason, so I will take it with a grain of salt. Their defense still looks bad, but there might be hope for more than 4 wins this season.

What I also saw was that you can run and pass at will on the Cardinals starting defense, which looked very porous. New head coach Ken Whisenhunt said at halftime that while the defensive performance was less than stellar, they were only running a base defense with no stunts or real plays. Ken, if your base defense cannot stop a running back from going up the middle for 7 yards at a time, you have a problem. On the plus side for Cardinal fans, their offense looked fantastic. Obviously the addition of Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm has helped them start working to fulfill their potential. And you can see their influence all over Leinart and company, as they ran a play during their first offensive series that would be very familiar to Pittsburgh fans, and anyone who saw Super Bowl XL. Remember the play where Randle El threw a touchdown to Hines Ward? Yep, it is now a part of the Cardinal offensive repertoire. They have an improved offense, but still a crappy defense. I say they go 7-9, and reignite talk at the end of the season of being a favorite again in 08.

One other funny aspect of the game was listening to the Texans broadcast team. I guess no one gave them phonetic pronunciations for the Cardinals personnel, because they kept mangling names constantly. They referred to Matt Leinart as Lein-heart and called Whisenhunt Wheeze-enhunt. Now, these two are not obscure people. Leinart is a college football champion and highly touted player, and Whiz was coaching in the Super Bowl a few years back. You think the Texans broadcast team might know who they are. Perhaps they need preseason practice more than the teams.

I did not catch any of the Patriots/Titans game, but I heard all about it. On every NFL Now break from the NFL Network, they kept falling all over themselves about what a great game Brady had. Here were his numbers, 10-19 for 145 yards, 1 touchdown and 2 interceptions. Please, show me how great that is? His completion percentage is barely above .500 and he threw 2 picks! I would say he had a barely average game. But no, everyone kept falling all over themselves about Brady’s great performance.

The season has yet to start and already I have had an assful of Brady and Patriot worship. Almost everyone keeps talking about how great the Pats are now with all their additions, how they will roll the competition, why we should just give them the trophy now. No, forget it, its not happening. Mark my words. The Patriots will not win the Super Bowl. They have too many new people to incorporate into their fabric, philosophy and chemistry. There are too many expectations, too many questions, and eventually, too much Randy Moss. You know, for all the big game he’s talking now, he will eventually regress into the pouting, petulant Randy and become the locker room cancer he’s always been when things start to go slightly not his way. Plus, all the other receivers they’ve added do two things. One, it takes away potential catches from Moss, and while he’s towing the company line at the moment, eventually that’ll get to him. And two, it pretty much forced Troy Brown to the back of the pack, never to be heard from again. This man is the most loyal Patriot EVER. Whenever they needed something, he stepped in and stepped up. If not for Troy, they do not beat the Chargers last year in the playoffs and never get to Indianapolis. If not for Troy, they do not win three Super Bowls. You thought they created bad karma by telling Vinatieri to hit the bricks? If they do not show Troy the proper respect and keep him and make him integral to their game, you will really see bad karma. They may create some anyway since they will probably just let him rot on the bench behind Moss, Welker, Stallworth and Caldwell. Write it down, make a note, put it in your blackberry, tattoo it on your forehead, the Patriots are our first entrant for the Super Bust.

And this reminds me, there are a ton of Steeler haters out there. Every time I turn around I hear about how Big Ben is a fluke and last season we saw the real Ben. How they cannot do anything with a rookie head coach. How last year showed their Super Bowl year was a fluke. How losing Joey Porter will be devastating in the locker room. How Willie Parker cannot carry the load, even though he did last year. Blah blah blah. I hate to tell everyone, but last year was the fluke. They had to deal with the Super Bowl hangover, which they did not deal with well. They had a lack of identity problem, which showed each week when a different team would show up. They had Ben’s multiple injuries to deal with, and personally I am hoping this year he is less of a delicate flower. And they had to deal with the Cowher distraction. I said it then, I’ll say it now. Cowher being unsure of his future and whether he would stay with the team was one of their biggest problems all season.

Mind you, they have problems again this year. The offensive line is not settled, and that can be huge. They have a new coach, a rookie for that matter, and there is always a transition in changing regimes. They lost a few key people, and need to find a way to replace them on and off the field. But they are not using these as excuses, just hurdles to overcome. They have the right mindset to start, and that is the path you need to be on to be successful.

And they are not the only teams with weaknesses. Look at the powers in the AFC. The Colts defense could be worse than last year, when anyone could run on them. The Chargers are breaking in a new coach as well, one with a very poor track record and worse playoff record as a head coach. The Patriots have so many new bodies, they need to wear nametags. They overcompensated for losing the AFC title game by buying everyone in sight and it could bite them on the butt. Every team has issues and problems. It’s not the issues that matter, its how you overcome them that matters. And we will only see that, and really see who is an elite team, starting in week one. So before we continue anointing another Super Bowl champion in the preseason, how about we wait and see how the season plays out, huh?

Idiot of the week - Ahhh, I always enjoy the idiot of the week, and it feels good to have it back, much like an old friend coming to visit. To kick off this year’s batch, who else could it be other than Chris Collinsworth? He spent the better part of 10 minutes going off during the Hall of Fame game how Reggie Bush last year did not have the same kind of numbers he did at USC. Chris specifically pointed out how Bush had no runs over 20 yards, and how that was a bad sign for Bush and his future. I almost lost my mind with how many things were wrong with what he was saying. First off, this is the NFL, not college ball. Of course his numbers will go down initially; he is going up against tougher competition. Second, he was a rookie, so obviously, there has to be a period of transition when going from a lower level of competition to a higher one. And never forget, the NFL is a significantly higher level of competition than college ball. And third, and most importantly, Bush was not their starting running back. Deuce McAllister was their starter last year, and will be again this year. Bush was used as a change up back, a secondary running threat, a passing threat and an overall multiple threat offensive weapon. His main duty last year was not grinding out tough yards, but to distract defenses and help exploit defensive weaknesses. If you doubt this, then explain his 88 catches from the backfield. Mind you, I do not think Collinsworth was wrong in wondering about Bush and his long term impact on the NFL. Bush still does need to prove himself between the tackles. But Collinsworth completely ignored all of the above points in his ranting. The other reason he managed to garner the award was his idiotic statement at the end of the game in explaining the Saints and their poor performance in the game. He stated that people needed to keep in mind where these players’ bodies were, and that they were still not in the kind of shape they will be for the season. Yes, Chris, that is true. They still have most of camp left to go, and there will be a lot of training left. However, the Saints were in camp almost as long as the Steelers and the Steelers sure looked in shape for the season, or at least for the game. It was such a stupid justification for a lackluster performance. Chris, we know you hate Pittsburgh; that much is obvious. I almost had a heart attack when you admitted an obvious point that Chuck Noll, the only coach to win 4 Super Bowls, had never been given the credit he should have been. But to make such an excuse for the poor performance of the Saints instead of praising the conditioning and physicality of their opponent is asinine. I guarantee if the Bungles were dominating the Saints, Chris would have been falling all over himself extolling the physicality of the Bungles. For these points, congratulations Chris, you are the Idiot of the Week.

Honorable mention idiots.

This may be a preview of things to come. Some weeks, there seem to be too many idiots to only pick just one.

Steve Mariucci – Said in the post game show for the Hall of Fame game that Hines Ward was going to be a good player. Really Steve, you think so? He did not win because it was obviously just a flub. But it was a funny one, and I wanted to bring it up. Before the game, Steve kept coming back to the point that with a healthy, prepared Roethlisberger the team would be much better this season. So far, he looks to be prophetic.

Bill Belichick – He took his normal closed mouth stance on Randy Moss and his hamstring injury. Are you just getting ready for the season and your usual lack of information, Bill, or do you just not want everyone to know you made a mistake on acquiring a broken down malcontent?

Nice to have one of our regular features back, is it not? Well, there will be much more on the way. Stay tuned, as we have one more tune up to go before the regular season begins. And there we will unveil some new things for the upcoming season. Hang tight, September 6th is almost here!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Guide To Baseball Fans

Ahhhh, summertime is such a magical time of year. Full of adventure and fun, it is a time when people take vacations, see the sights, visit friends and family or just whittle the days away with a good book and a cold beverage. And at some point or another, most of us partake in one long time summer tradition the same as our parents, their parents and even their parents before them did. We take a day and head to the ballpark for some good old fashioned baseball. Perhaps not as old fashioned as it used to be. The players anymore look more like overgrown kids in pajamas than majestic athletic heroes. And the parks are so filled with advertising of every sort it’s more like being in a commercial. On top of that, with the constant music of every genre blaring, you wonder if the old time pipe organs of ballparks past have become extinct. And of course, you have no idea who on the diamond is pumped up with what.

But those things still cannot take away from the experience of a sunny afternoon at the ballpark. And it really does not matter which one you attend. From the multi-million dollar technological monoliths to 1000 seat dirt diamonds and everything in between, each offers a respite from the everyday grind and a sanctuary sit back, relax and a simple game kids from 1 to 100 can follow and enjoy. Plus, with the proliferation of minor league teams supporting major league teams and the expansion of semi-pro leagues throughout the country, anymore there is some park close to everyone. And each one offers that experience of grabbing some peanuts, crackerjacks and a program, sitting in the sun and watching the game unfold with friends and remember days of youth playing the same game. The parks are a place where you can relax and unwind while keeping score in the same way millions before you have done at thousands of games over the years. It is a way to connect to the past and yet stay in the present, since despite all of the added frills, the game itself has changed very little since its inception.

But one thing that has definitely changed over time is the fans. It seems now there are very few of them actually watching the game. Most spend their time at the ballpark wrapped up in their own little world. If you go to the ballpark, you need to watch out for these fans, as they will distract you from your enjoyment of the game and your escape from reality. Luckily, I have identified them in this easy to follow guide. Take this with you the next time you catch a game. Use it as both a wildlife guide to the fans and as a map to help you avoid getting stuck behind or beside one of them.


The Crystal Ball Guide to Baseball Fans:

The Grocery Store Family – You can find these fans in every section. They secretly schlep in enough food to last a nuclear winter in an attempt to avoid spending too much money at the concession stands. Yet they end up ignoring the goodies the trucked in and end up making repeated trips for hot dogs and French fries.

Distinguishing characteristics: bags of disguised food left untouched under their seats for the entire game. Usually also an Ants In The Pants (see below).


Souvenir Superfan – Very easy to spot, as this fan always brings a cache of souvenirs he or she has purchased at previous games. This fan has everything; hat, jersey, blanket, pennant, seat cushion, misting fan, mitt and much more complete their ensemble. If you see them before the game in the parking lot, their vehicle is appropriately decked out as well. Flags, stickers, magnetic logos, license plate frames, seat covers, dashboard bobble heads and more adorn their transportation, letting everyone everywhere know exactly where their sporting allegiances lie. While it seems they already have everything, at least once during the game they will find something to add to their collection.

Distinguishing characteristics: mounds of officially licensed team gear.


Team Scout – The Team Scout is one serious fan. Often bedecked in at least a team hat and jersey, the Scout spends the game with his own personal box score tablet, tracking every pitch, batter, hit, substitution and pitching change that occurs. To make sure nothing is missed, this fan will wear headphones and listen to the radio broadcast as well. He tracks every movement on the field more thoroughly than the team’s actual scouts or even opposing team scouts. He never goes anywhere without his season tickets and a mitt. Since the scout never leaves his seat, he usually brings enough peanuts to eat during the game to choke an elephant.

Distinguishing characteristics: extra pens, peanut shells around seat, ink stains on their hands, extra batteries, a mitt and a serious expression. Actually watches the game, but not for pleasure.


Visiting Superfan – Always a few of these sprinkled throughout the crowd, especially near the visiting team dugout. This overzealous fan either follows his team on road trips close to home or lives away from his team and counts down the days until they are close enough where he can see them in person. He knows every player and every stat by heart. Whenever something bad happens to his team, he is positive the umpires are favoring the home team and jobbing his team. Every good thing his team does is met with applause and some words of support and congratulations, usually said in a loud, booming voice that echoes through the stadium. An especially annoying fan if located on the home team side of the stadium.

Had a great run in with this fan recently, and he was all about his team. At one point, he was sure the umpire made a bad call that hurt his team, and he almost lost his mind yelling at the umpire. All the other home team fans around him almost lost their minds too making fun of him. During one plate appearance for a player on his team, he made the remark that the batter should “show them where you live”. I spent the better part of two innings trying to figure out what this meant. I still have no idea what this means. Did the player have an episode of MTV Cribs? Was his place in Architectural Digest? Did he have a local house and was the fan recommending he invite the home team over after the game for tea? So cryptic.

Distinguishing characteristics: visiting team gear, lack of concern or inability to discern which stadium he is at, obliviousness to fans around him.


Kid-arazzo – The street urchins of the ballpark. These kids, ages 8-58, spend the half hour before the game camped out on the railing next to the field in semi successful attempts to garner autographs from the players as they warm up. Most do not care who signs, just as long as they get signatures. Much like paparazzi, these kids will do anything to acquire a signature, even if it means inflicting bodily harm on themselves. Most are unsupervised by an adult, and out of the watchful eye of a parental figure they bounce from one player to another with reckless abandon, jumping over seats, tearing through aisles and running into people with no concern of the havoc their desperate bid for an autograph is wreaking. If you enjoy having a hot dog before the game and have seats near the field, these kids will disrupt your pregame ritual, and probably send your dog flying. Of all the tricks they have learned in grabbing signatures, the one they have yet to learn is how to say excuse me.

Distinguishing characteristics: well used sharpie, collection of baseball cards some with signatures, partially signed baseballs, clothing stained with soda and ketchup from the guy they tackled on the way to get the first baseman’s autograph.


Sloppy Drunk Guy – This guy is way too happy to be at the game. He comes early and proceeds to drink heavily. Typically there is some excuse involved, like he has had a long week and this is his reward or other such nonsense. By the third inning, he is hammered and then proceeds to spend the rest of the game hitting on creeped out women close by in his section. If one of the women is foolish enough to be nice or play along just a bit, she suddenly finds herself with a very attentive friend until the last out. The SDP typically travels in pairs, so often you will see two of them together. When in pairs, only one will be overzealous in obtaining female companionship. His wingman will spend the game continuing to drink and laughing at his friend’s failed attempts at wooing female patrons.

Distinguishing characteristics: half empty beer constantly in hand, loss of motor control, glazed over look, lame baseball themed sexual innuendos.


Angry Drunk Fan – A much more unpleasant derivative of Sloppy Drunk Guy, as Angry Drunk Fan makes everyone’s experience unbearable. He usually gets to the game way too early, gets plowed fast and then spends the next nine innings cheering on his team in such a way as to drown out the sounds and sights of the game for everyone around him. His lack of inhibitions cause him to wear his heart and love for his team on his sleeve, and he shows that he is a little bit too devoted. Because of his inebriated state, ADF takes any bad thing that happens to his team way too hard, and usually follows that with expletives directed at the closest umpire. An interesting variant of ADF is when he is mixed with Souvenir Superfan. This variant can at least provide high comedy when ADF tries to wave his pennant in celebration.

Distinguishing characteristics: multitude of empty beer cups at feet, voice hoarse from yelling by seventh inning, chin covered in dried spittle from yelling.


The Exhibitionists – This young, amorous couple find something erotic about the ballpark. Something about the venue, the game or even their seats creates a spark in them that causes them to be all over each other. They do not merely hold hands; they caress, whisper things in each other’s ears and make out heavily. The only thing keeping them from actual coitus is the arm rest separating their seats. This couples actions at some point during the middle innings will go so far that it becomes uncomfortable for those seated around them. Luckily, they usually leave soon after that, as the pent up sexual tension drives them to find some place more private, or at least one without seating hindrances.

Distinguishing characteristics: lipstick stained collars, disheveled clothing, and extra breath mints.


The Expert Roundtable – Here you find a group of buddies gathered together for an afternoon of baseball. There must be at least 4 of them so as to have a true discussion. They spend the game discussing strategy in every situation that develops on the field. The problem is, none of them has a clue about the game and real strategy, but all of them consider themselves experts. The funny thing is each one of them thinks the rest are nuts and has no idea what they are talking about, and are more than happy to tell the rest such repeatedly.

Distinguishing characteristics: pocket guide to baseball stats and records, list of sporting terms and buzzwords, air of sporting intelligence superiority.


Beach Ball Boy – Takes it upon himself to add some fun to the game, because who wants to sit and watch the game in peace? He feels as though the experience of going to a game is not complete unless you have a beach ball that has been touched by a thousand dirty hands slam into the nachos in your lap, splashing you with molten hot cheese and knocking your soda all over you. He is always packing a slew of beach balls on his person, hidden from the ticket takers and bag inspectors who would take them away before he could unleash them on the crowd. He spends pregame inflating them and the first inning sending them out in all directions toward unsuspecting patrons. Usually leads the booing when stadium personnel confiscate one of the beach balls.

Distinguishing characteristics: pockets filled with odd shaped pieces of vinyl, increased lung capacity, sporting good store receipts.


The Wave Guy – Not exclusive to baseball games by any stretch, TWG can be found at every sporting event. He really wants to be the one who starts the wave, to initiate this annoying item of fan participation. He has a large amount of pride in being the instigator of this tradition, and will not give up continuing the wave every time it dies is predicable death when everyone else in the stadium becomes bored of standing up and sitting down.

Distinguishing characteristics: The first one up and last one down on every wave.


Stars In Waiting – When you see them, you wonder if they even know what game is being played. They ignore everything happening on the field, as they spend the entire time looking for the cameras. When one appears in their section they go nuts. And if a camera points at them, they go absolutely ballistic. They spend so much time posing and preening for the camera, they only notice it is gone when someone behind them yells at them to sit down.

Distinguishing characteristics: Overly done up hair and clothing, fashions just a bit too current, no fan gear, always looking at the scoreboard to catch a glimpse of themselves.


Ants In The Pants – Always up and down, AITP probably only sit in the seats they purchased for maybe 1 full inning during the game. Usually they can be found in a group, most often in a family group with several small kids. Trips to the concession stand, souvenir stand, bathroom, to stretch the legs, take a call, and check their fantasy stats or just to stand up impede AITP from sitting still long enough to even see what is the current score. You name it; they do it at the park. All except watch the actual game.

Distinguishing characteristics: blocking your view. Often is crossed with……..


The Family Man – He wants to come to the game, but also wants to spend time with the kids. Has this idealistic vision of continuing a tradition of going to the ballpark with dear old dad he had with his father. Unfortunately, he never sees the game. He spends the entire time tending to the kids. Be it getting them food, taking them to the bathroom, getting drinks, keeping them still, playing games with them or just keeping them from screaming, TFM never finds time for his master plan. It was a good plan too, spending the afternoon with the kids and showing them the subtle details of the game, like his dad did with him. Gets so flustered his big plan has been stifled he vows to never bring them to the game again, usually to recant next summer when hope triumphs experience. Sometimes becomes so disenchanted he returns alone as Angry Drunk Fan or Sloppy Drunk Guy.

Distinguishing characteristics: laden with at least two bags full of water, blankets, toys and a million other sundries for the kids, smile when he arrives and a defeated scowl at the end, wistful hope in middle innings that maybe next summer will be different.


The Actual Fan - Very rare anymore to spot these creatures. They used to cover the landscape, now are a dying breed. You see them occasionally pop up on a section. They have a small amount of team gear and always have a program. They watch the game as they sip on a cold beverage, reveling in the relaxation of the moment and the thrill of watching their team. They know the score, but not usually the pitch count as that does not matter with the beautiful day and game before them. They cheer and applaud the good moments, and good naturely boo the bad ones. Will get up to use the bathroom or get a new beverage, but this happens once every few innings instead of once every few pitches. This person has come to watch the game and enjoy the day, just what were they thinking?

Distinguishing characteristics: Unknown. No actual fan is known to exist outside of monitored habitats. Many fear that they will soon be extinct, as many cannot live outside of protected sactuaries.


With this handy guide, you are now ready to safely enjoy a day at the ball park and avoid those who could ruin your day. Or sit there and people watch, snickering under your breath.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The Crystal Ball Pre Camp Special

Welcome one and all to the first, and hopefully annual, The Crystal Ball Pre Camp Special. Yes, I know, camps have already started. But due to a few unfortunate technical and physical glitches, we are coming to you during the opening weeks of training camp as opposed to the weekend before as originally planned. For those clamoring for camp information, or just the usual nonsense from around here, you will have to wait for the former until our camp special debuts sometime after the Hall of Fame weekend. I want to have one game to watch before I say anything football related. As for the latter, please continue reading.

The reason for a pre camp special is I figured that much like a few teams, I could use the practice. And, like all teams, it would make a great opportunity to fine tune the game plan for the season and install a few new wrinkles. But those will be coming in the true camp special. And with camps starting and the march to the season underway, I also figured this would be a great time and opportunity to put a few items from the off season behind us. But at least one will linger like the smell of dead fish, and you already know what that item will be. Mind you, this is not everything that has occurred since the draft. If it were, this could be as long as a book. Just some of the most notable, notorious and weird happenings in the world we call professional football. So let us recap yet another fascinating, interesting and strange off season of the NFL.

To start, and as a disclaimer, I have no real mini-camp news. There may be one or two things that relate to mini camps, but no real information. I am a nut, but even I have my limitations. Plus, are not mini camps nothing more than a bunch of guys working out, with some studying on occasion? There, 32 mini camps have been summarized. You happy now?

But before we get to the real nonsense, I need to take a moment to mark the passing of Bill Walsh after a long battle with leukemia. Often dubbed “the Genius”, Walsh changed the fortunes of a team and a city, and changed the landscape of the NFL forever. His offensive innovations are still being used to this day, and the reverberations of them still shake through the league. Walsh was one of the first coaches to truly understand the importance of the left tackle position, a position that today we see high prized recruits coveted by each team. His offense was mislabeled as the west coast offense, but this was merely a misunderstanding. The west coast offense was created by Sid Gillman, Don Coryell and Ernie Zampese and was more of a vertical passing attack. Walsh studied that offense and its effectiveness and learned from Gillman, and studied many others with his computer like mind and created his own offense. He created an offense that was much more than a vertical passing attack; his was a precision based juggernaut that when deployed by the right personnel and controlled by its master Walsh was virtually unstoppable. He called it the Cincinnati offense at first, but what it should have been called is the Walsh offense, to forever keep his name attached to one of the most effective creations ever unleashed. His precision teams of the 49ers executed at such a high level of excellence that many thought of them as merely a machine with no personality. I prefer to think of them as single minded in one purpose, to be the best, and that they were. One thing I was always glad about was the short sightedness of the Bengals, since they had one of the first cracks at hiring Walsh as head coach. If they had, the AFC Central would have been very different. I was always a fan of Bill Walsh, because he helped change perceptions of the sport. Football takes a high degree of intelligence to play and coach, and can be a thinking man’s game. Walsh always looked upon the game intellectually, and showed others the subtleties and nuances that make football such an intellectual challenge. His approach and view to the game helped change many others views as well, and helped push away some of the misconceptions that football was nothing more than a bunch of stupid guys pounding into each other. Walsh was an innovator, a teacher and a winner and his passing will be felt by all who love the game. We will miss you Bill.

Ok, now let us get started. Bill would not want us sitting on our duffs with work to be done.

First, a few things I missed from the last off season column.

Tom Brady created quite the hubbub by being photographed in a New York Yankee cap. To people of the New England area, this is tantamount to treason. Personally, I do not care since I typically cannot stand either team, especially the Red Sox. But it does bring up a good question. Who is more annoying, ultra cocky Yankee fans or ultra whiny Red Sox fans? I say push.

The Bears traded Thomas Jones to the Jets, ending their backfield by committee and helping the Jets compete in the AFC East. I do not know if this is such a great move for the Bears, as Jones really added to their offense. Perhaps this is just one of the first pieces of evidence in building the case for the potential Super Bowl jinx.


Now, let us move on to a few bits of League news.

In June, the NFL held a symposium of doctors, trainers and officials to have a summit on the issue of concussions. The league seems serious in taking real steps and a hard look at a major, long standing problem. And I for one am glad to hear this. Some of the stories of players suffering post career with the effects of concussions are chilling and troublesome, and the NFL should do whatever it takes to protect those who put the fans in the seats. Some of the steps the league has put in place to help stem the tide of horrific injuries include mandatory baseline neuropsychological testing, education for the players and families on what concussions are and their affects, a whistle-blower system to help ease pressure for injured players to return and leaving post-concussion decisions of returning to play to medical professionals, and not to the players or coaches. Here is hoping we see some real results from some of these changes, and further changes down the road. No one wants to see someone end a career early like Troy Aikman, or go through post football life like Mike Webster.

In even better news for former players, there has been much more talk regarding benefits for retired players as well as much more public talk regarding health benefits and long term care for older players permanently disabled from years on the grid iron. While nothing has been resolved, at least talk is going on, and getting much louder. Plus, Gene Upshaw is looking worse each day for his don’t give a crap attitude toward former players, especially since he used to play with many of them. Perhaps in an effort to clean up his egg smeared face, he’ll actually do something, but I am not holding my breath, and neither are the former players. The whole situation got much more heated and interesting with former players taking their case to Congress in June. I never think the government should be involved in the sporting world, unless it spills out into the real world. But this time, I’m siding with the players trying to get the proper care they need. The NFL and Players association insist they provide a lot for former players, but more and more it looks like what they are doing for those who built the league is not nearly enough. And since the league recently announced plans to help more former players with joint replacement surgery and additional benefits, it would seem even they do not believe their own spin. While this is a good start, is should be considered just that, a start. The NFL is a billion dollar industry. I think it can afford to help those on whose backs the league was built. Everyone, keep talking about this issue, the bigger it gets, the faster the NFL will do something about it. The last thing they ever want is bad press.

Moving on to the actual games, there have been some floaters sent out around the league to consider a 17 game season, with one less game in the preseason. Hmmm, more football, would I be able to handle one extra week of goodness? Only one way to find out! Schedule that bad boy!

The second scheduled overseas game is going over like gangbusters. To be played in Wembley Stadium, the first batch of 40,000 tickets made available for the game was sold out in less than 90 minutes. It should be a wing ding of a time in swinging London. The league is also looking to expand their scope of overseas regular season games, with a potential next stop being Germany. The league would also like to get each team an overseas game at some point. I wonder where the Steelers will play. I think it will take all season to figure out where and why it will work. Stay tuned, we may have a new feature.

In sad overseas news, the league closed the doors on NFL Europa. It is a shame, because the overseas audience was growing and it was a good developmental league. However, it was not growing at a sustainable rate and became just too expensive to maintain. Perhaps one day true European expansion will take place. I hope so as I would love to see a game in Germany or England.

There was also talk of potentially moving the first half of the first round of the draft to Friday night to show the draft in prime time. Yeah, as if the draft wasn’t nutty enough, that is exactly what we need, prime time draft. I say that now, but if they did it, I’d find myself sitting at home, on a Friday night in late April…..


Let us now shift from the league, to some player and team news, starting with…


The Running Backs:

New York Jet running back Curtis Martin retired. A good player and teammate, Martin had a phenomenal career with the Jets and Patriots and will retire with the 4th most rushing yards of all time. But unfortunately, no running back lasts forever. The Jets knew this, and began preparing for this day. But it still is sad to see a potential hall of famer retire. So raise your glass to Mr. Martin, enjoy the sunset.

In returning running backs, Priest Holmes has reported to Chiefs training camp and will look for clearance to return to the field. With their QB situation and Johnson’s holdout, this could be the kind of help the Chiefs need. I like Holmes, and know he has put much work into this return, I only hope he is truly well. A neck injury is very serious, and I would hate him to sacrifice his future for one more moment of present day glory. We wish Holmes much luck.

In hopefully returning running backs, Ricky Williams tested positive, again, for weed in April. He will not be eligible to apply for reinstatement until September. Bet he doesn’t pass then either. Come on, who wants to lay a five spot on this one with me?

New Oakland Raider running back Dominic Rhodes tested positive for something, the NFL won’t say, but they suspended him for the first four games of the season. Nice. So far that move to the Raiders is REALLY paying off, is it not Dominic?

Seahawks running back Shawn Alexander may still have crack in his foot. What will that mean for Alexander and the Seahawks? Will he regain the form from their Super Bowl season? Will he provide an adequate threat to allow Hasselbeck to pass effectively? A development worth watching in the Pacific Northwest.

Continuing on our trend of discussing running backs, there are rumors coming out of New England that Laurence Maroney has a bum shoulder. If he can’t go, the much vaunted Pats offense suddenly becomes very one dimensional, no one will respect their running game, and they will become a 9-7 team. Especially if their run defense looks like it did in the AFC championship game last year. Sure, Thomas will help their D, but will he help that much? He is a phenomenal player, but he cannot fill 5 holes at once and he is fast approaching 30.

The Steelers signed Kevan Barlow, formerly of the Jets. Barlow had a few great years in San Francisco, but then tailed off. Now he has a good chance to revive himself, and the Steelers have a good opportunity to get an excellent 1-2 punch in the running game with him and Parker. However, I do have a fear for the running game as the season approaches. Losing Jeff Hartings to retirement is tough, and as things look now this will be Faneca’s last season. Plus, the right side of the line is in a bit of flux with free agent Sean Mahan and rookie Willie Colon fighting to crack the starting lineup. A stable line is what makes an offense successful. Without a stable line, you are nothing more than the Cardinals. When the season ends and Faneca leaves, this will be another loss from the Super Bowl team. I know that is how the business of the NFL is run, but it is really beginning to grate on me.


Moving on to The Quarterbacks:

Peyton Manning attended a white tie state dinner at the White House in May with Queen Elizabeth II. Before that he had a fantastic turn as host of Saturday Night Live and shot and aired about a million new commercials. It must not suck to be Peyton Manning this year. Well, until the season starts and he no longer has left tackle stalwart Tarik Glenn, who may be retiring according to reports coming out of Indianapolis. Without Glenn it might be easier to get to Manning and rattle him this season

Brady now will no longer speak with reporters regarding his personal life. With all of his baby mama drama going on, and now the team has head case numero uno in Randy Moss in the fold, does anyone else get the feeling the Patriot machine might suddenly seize up at the worst possible time? Me too.

Trent Green was finally traded to Miami, happy for the change in scenery. I still have to wonder what Miami is thinking going with a 37 year old quarterback as their starter. They are not built to win right now, which is what a move for Green means. This looks bad, both short term and long term, for Dolphin fans.

Daunte Culpepper, for his part, created as much strife in Miami as possible before they finally released him. You know, for a man who never produced for a team who took a chance on him, he sure seemed ungrateful. After he finally got his release, and kept complaining. Since no one has shown that much interest thus far, perhaps he is overrating himself. Apparently, though, the best place for him turned out to be Oakland. Yes, Oakland, who just drafted a quarterback number one overall. Oakland, where Culpepper will be nothing more than a one year stop-gap measure while they prepare Russell to be the starter. The Oakland Raiders, truly the black hole of NFL careers.

Jeff Garcia was installed as the starter in Tampa Bay. Of course, he will have to fight off Grabowski and Simms. I bet he does not have the same success as he did with the Eagles.

Brad Johnson is gone from Minnesota and now the backup QB in Big D. What is with Dallas and old quarterbacks? They get rid of Vinnie, and bring in Bledsoe. Now Bledsoe retires, so they bring in Johnson. Coincidence or crafty plan?

Marc Bulger signed a fat new contract with the Rams. Let us see if that pays some offensive dividends this season.

I was shocked to learn that Brett Favre wanted Randy Moss badly to come to Green Bay. It seems so odd that Brett would want such a malcontent on the team, even though the team is not overflowing with talented receivers. I know Brett wants to win, and Moss has a boatload of talent, but it does not jive in my head. Plus, did Brett really think Moss would pick him over Brady and the ready to win now Patriots?

I used to like Brett. I loved the swagger and the attitude. I loved the gunslinger mentality and image he invoked while on the field. And part of me still does. But the past few years have been too much. Every move he makes has been reported on and talked about ad nausea. While he does not have any control over that, he does over his own actions, which have been equally annoying. He issues communiqués and statements from his home in Mississippi about his status, health, future in football and his feelings and thoughts on the direction of the team. I am surprised at this point someone has not instituted a 24/7 Brett watch, you know, in case he takes a dump and we miss it. Plus, with saying he will not attend mandatory mini camp, what kind of team leadership is that? Brett is wearing thin on me lately, as is the constant babble about every move he makes. Seriously Brett, you want to yak, yak to your teammates about winning. Barring that, hang them up and get a commentator job. Otherwise, shut up and play.


And now, The Receivers:

Chad Johnson raced a horse for charity and won. Isn’t he great? It is fantastic he did it for charity, but it is how he did it, in such a fun and self effacing way. You just gotta love 85. Sure wish he was in Black and Gold instead of Black and Orange.

Terrell Owens stated he is looking forward to the 2007 season, and since no one had been yapping about him, decided to throw out his typical verbal hand grenade and stated he got nothing out of last year being coached by Bill Parcells. Hmmm, still petulant and missing the point. Seems at least TO’s mouth is ready for the season.

The Bears are thinking of using Devin Hester at wide receiver. Oooooh, now that is an exciting premise. I know that move does not always work, but when it does it could be thrilling. I caught the opening of Super Bowl XLI the other day and watched his kickoff return again. What a talent he is, and he is so exciting to watch on every play. I’m gonna watch a few extra Bears games this season, just to see him work his magic.

The Panthers signed Steve Smith to contract extension through 2012. Hopefully one of those young receivers they picked up can help take some pressure off of Smith to produce so he can last until the end of the extension. Otherwise, he will burn out being the only viable target.

In other Panther receiver news, recently cut receiver Keyshawn Johnson, not wanting to be a rent-a-receiver, decided to just call it a career and retired. Keyshawn’s wish to be given a multi-year contract by interested teams was met with a rather lukewarm response. Instead of going back on his word of not wanting to be merely a stop-gap measure or quick fix, he opted instead to be a commentator with ESPN. Not a bad choice, but Keyshawn, would being a quick fix for a potential contender really have been all that bad? I think not.

Joe Horn, cut from the Saints, signed with the Falcons. Good thing too, as the Falcons will need as many good hands at receiver as possible. Especially since Joey Harrington will need all the help he can get.


The always fun, Contract News:

Asante Samuel is threatening an extended hold out for a new contract. Boy I hope this happens. Anything to take the luster and shine off of the Patriots band wagon. Will they actually pay Samuel, or just ship him out like they did with Deion Branch last year? Your move, Belichick.

KC running back Larry Johnson is planning to hold out, hoping to get a new contract. He has stated he has been saving money in case this should come to pass. Apparently, 1.7 million is not enough for him to take the field this season. He can void out his current contract after this season due to incentives met, but he would rather beat the rush and try to do it now and get paid. His agent says they are looking for a fair market contract extension for his services. Hey, Larry, from what I have seen from your sullen self, 1.7 million is pretty fair, especially since you do not have to do the sort of the soul crushing, demeaning things all those people who cheer you on every week have to do each and every day just to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Sure, you can look at that as bad decisions on their part, or not being blessed with physical talent and thus unable to take advantage of what our culture and society is willing to reward financially. But I call it life, as do millions of others. And when I see someone of privilege such as yourself, who is lucky to be in the position you are, demanding even more, I call that greed. His agent also says that they understand it is a sensitive situation because those who live in KC do not make that much money. Oh yeah? How noble of you to think of the unwashed masses who scrape together enough money maybe once a year to attend a Chiefs game and their feelings on the subject of Larry wanting a raise. You want to know how those masses really feel and what they really think? I will clue you in, since neither you nor Larry seems to have one. Shut up, suck it up, cash your already big paycheck and for a change win some damn football games you over privileged baby.

I can never understand the point of signing a contract if a player will not honor what it says. If you or I tried this stunt, we could use all that time sitting out waiting for more money to find a new job, because we would find ourselves out of the one we have. This is the most ridiculous statement ever. Hey, KC, you want to not pay Larry this season? Sounds good to me. I would be happy to take his place for a quarter of what he makes. Sure, I am older and much, much slower, and probably would not make it to week 4 without a serious injury. But I would never bitch about being “underpaid” and come to work each week with a smile on my face knowing how much I would be making, instead of complaining about what I was not making.

And speaking of bitching about making money, Alan Faneca said this is his last year as a Steeler. Faneca is unhappy at management for stalled contract talks. Both sides need some perspective on this situation. Luckily, I am happy to provide such.

Faneca feels that for all he has done and accomplished for the team he is not being respected; and what they have done in terms of offering him a fair contract is not right. He also feels if they do not want him, they should just trade him or let him go, let him find another team that will treat him fairly, which of course translates as pays him an absurd amount of money.

Seriously Faneca, what have they done? Tortured you? Kept food from you? Forced your family onto the streets? Get a grip. Mind you, I love Faneca. I have a huge soft spot for offensive linemen and guards in particular. But I hate it when professional athletes take this stance of victim when they do not get the massive contract they want. There are people in this country with real problems out there who would be overjoyed to do their job for what you make now. Wake up and grow up.

Faneca has gone on to say that while he will report to camp on time, and he has, and will not make this a distraction to the team during camp or the season, this will be his last year in Pittsburgh. At least he will be a professional. But once again, what have they really done to you that is so horrible?

On the other side, management, make him an offer, and do not be insulting about it. I am almost positive I know the team will be looking to go in a different direction, but at least show Faneca you do appreciate all he has done by tendering a contract that is at least somewhat commiserate with a player of his skill level. He has gone to more Pro Bowls than any other guard in team history. He is a stalwart on one of the most stable lines in the NFL and makes things happen. If it were not for his block, Willie Parker would not have the longest run in Super Bowl History. He is the epitome of what it means to be a Steeler. Let him know his contributions have been appreciated, even if it means sending him away.

But I doubt they will be able to offer Faneca any contract now that would make them happy, as they have several players entering their last contract years that need to be resigned and especially since the team inked a new contract with Troy Polamalu. With a contract for 5 years and worth 30.19 million, Polamalu is now the highest paid Steeler on the team, and the highest paid Steeler of all time. Well, until they hammer out a new deal for Roethlisberger next year. The team and Big Ben’s agent had some preliminary talks this summer, but the real work will begin next off season. I bet that is a big contract.

The team also inked their first round draft pick Lawrence Timmons to a 5 year 12 million deal. I hope he proves worth it.

Steelers cut punter Chris Gardocki, although the shock of this was taken away when they drafted Sepulveda in April. Here is hoping the rookie is as good as advertised. How will Steelers Nation react if he has a punt blocked? We have not had to deal with that for quite some time now, and have become more than a bit spoiled.

The Bears might have a better chance on defense this season, as they finally pulled Lance Briggs back into the fold. While Briggs felt insulted by being franchise tagged, and wanted either a long term contract or traded, he relented and signed on for a season in Chicago. I guess the thought of 7+ million for one year of work did not seem too bad after all.


Team and media news:

The San Diego Chargers changed uniforms again, for no apparent reason. I guess they just wanted people to forget how much they botched the coaching situation.

Arizona head coach Ken Whisenhunt has stated his Cardinals will focus on running the ball. Wow, what a shocking revelation. I never would have seen that coming.

The Steelers are going to erect a statue of Fred Rogers in the south end of the stadium on an observation deck. The famed area native will now be in attendance for every game. I am not sure if Mr. Rogers was a big Steelers fan, or of football in general, but no matter. I just hope they get the cardigan correct.

Keith Olbermann will return to the world of sports as a new addition to NBC’s Football Night In America. I like this move. I find Olbermann entertaining and irreverent, with a sharp wit and keen sports mind. Plus, perhaps he can compete with Collinsworth for title of dorkiest tall white guy on the show.



Look out, its The Strange world of the NFL:

I found this snippet courtesy of the Arizona Republic and story writers Judi Villa and Michael Kiefer.

“Robert Comer never flinched Tuesday morning as he was injected with a lethal cocktail of drugs that put him to death. Comer took a picture of his daughter into the death chamber with him and seemed defiant as he smiled and maintained eye contact with his witnesses as drugs coursed through his body.His last words were "Go Raiders!" “

It says it all, if you ask me.

This was too odd of a story to pass up, courtesy of Moustafa Ayad of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

“Former Steelers linebacker Richard Seigler -- who was out on bail yesterday -- controlled two prostitutes in Las Vegas last year while he was a member of the team, according to a Nevada police affidavit.
The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department vice squad's investigation of Seigler's cousin, Billy Cooks, a known pimp, uncovered Seigler's actions. Through several phone calls placed by Cooks from a Las Vegas jail, police determined that Seigler had at least two women working for him as prostitutes.
The Steelers released Seigler, 26, shortly before he was arrested around 6 p.m. on a fugitive warrant from Nevada. He was charged with pandering, pandering by furnishing transportation and living from the earnings of a prostitute. If convicted, Seigler faces one to 10 years in prison.


You cannot make this stuff up.

I guess Pittsburgh was lacking in weird news lately, since there was also this little nugget that came out. New offensive line coach Larry Zierlein forwarded an email, and inadvertently forwarded it to league officials including the commissioner. So what, we all do that from time to time. However, most of us do not make this mistake with emails that have pornographic material attached to them. Dan Rooney of course is unhappy. Zierlein has not lost his job, but I am sure there was some vigorous debate about his continued employment. While this was not quite as good as the Detroit coach going through the drive thru naked from the waist down last year, it comes close in terms of stupidity. What is going on in Pittsburgh lately? Porno, pimps, I am afraid to find out what’s next?



And finally, From the Files of the NFL Security office
(or why exactly did NFL force ESPN to cancel Playmakers):


The league denied Bungle Odell Thurman’s petition for reinstatement and extended his suspension for another season. The league really is getting tougher.

In more Bungle news, Chris Henry has quite a few legal troubles brewing in Florida. I guess it was lucky he got that suspension; he now has time to clean up his life.

Adding to the din of nonsense coming from Cincinnati, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported this nugget on May 29th 2007.

“On an ESPN radio show, (coach Marvin) Lewis accused the Cincinnati police of profiling his players after troubled wide receiver Chris Henry was pulled over in his vehicle for not signaling a turn. "I think there's profiling, no question," Lewis said.

At the time, it sounded very much like Lewis was playing the race card, but he vehemently denied that later, saying his remarks were in the context of his players being public figures. He also apologized in a statement released by the team and in a private telephone call with the Cincinnati police chief, saying his "comments did not illustrate the high regard I have for the Cincinnati Police Department."”


This is such a stupid explanation for his remarks, since celebrities and famous athletes always get the benefit of the doubt and at least a dozen free passes for their indiscretions BECAUSE they are public figures. It is only when they go so far beyond the limit does their behavior ever catch up with them. I doubt Lewis was playing the race card. Most likely he is just trying to make excuses for A) the anticipated poor performance from his team in the upcoming season without bad apple stars like Thurman and Henry B) the poor performance from his team last season or C) justifying the behavior of his players as misunderstood and thereby justifying his actions of selecting troubled players to save face and keep his job. I’m going with C.

NFLPA was backing Pacman Jones and his appeal of his suspension, saying the punishment is excessive. A lot has happened since this moment, so it is for the most part irrelevant news. But something about it stuck with me. Now, I know the NFLPA has to support the players; it is in their interest to keep all players on the field. But should they not go by the axiom that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few? Are they not disrespecting and ignoring the needs of the hundreds of players that do not get embroiled in investigations and arrests by throwing their weight and clout behind a defense of Pacman, whose behavior is one of a gifted athlete who uses his station unwisely? Should they not be thinking of what is best for all of their charges, not just one?

Pacman, though, did have a moment of responsibility, followed by increasing his speed on his downward spiral. He recanted his appeal, saying what was important now is to get his life back on track. For almost an entire nanosecond, I felt good for him, and perhaps even liked him. People who get to a point of change, recognize it and grab hold of it appeal to me. I know we all find moments in our lives when it seems things are spiraling out of control, and we have no way to stop it. It takes a strong and intelligent person to be able to say, no, I can and will change things. And it takes an even stronger one to stick to those declarations. I respect that kind of dedication and courage.

However, my honeymoon with Pacman lasted only a partial nanosecond, as not long afterwards, he was being sought by authorities for questioning regarding members of his posse who were involved in a shooting. Pacman, part of changing your life is to separate yourself from those who hold a bad influence over you. Yes, they are your friends. Yes, they were there for you when you were nothing. But now, they are doing nothing but dragging you down to being nothing again. If they give a damn about you, they would not do things that jeopardize your position as a player in the NFL. As it seems, they do not treat you like a friend, but merely a meal ticket and an all access pass to a lifestyle they are unwilling or unable to obtain on their own merit and talents, merely on yours. I do believe that Pacman should cut ties to those gentlemen, as cold as it may seem, but writer LZ Granderson had a very interesting and personal take on athletes and who they surround themselves with. I highly recommend the article, as I found it a fascinating look at the situation from a perspective I will never have. And while I was enlightened by his story, and it gave me much food for thought, one question arose from his words. How can athletes and others who achieve fame and fortune help pull others from destructive lives if those they try to save only sabotage their life?

But it may all be moot now, since charges have been filed in Las Vegas against Jones in the strip club shooting that occurred on February 19th. It would seem even if Jones does have someone in his life that could talk with him and set him straight, it might be too late. I suppose how he handles these issues he’s created, and how he conducts himself in the future will be the only tells as to how much he wants to be a better man and player. But with commissioner Goodell’s strict conduct policy and with teams now responsible as well for their employees’ actions, who would even take a chance on him if he does successfully reform himself? My best hope for him at this point is that he is able to pull his life together, not to remain in the NFL, but merely to become the man he can be.

Tank Johnson met with Goodell, who suspended Johnson for 8 games. With all the nonsense Tank has created, including being a distraction during the Super Bowl with his legal woes, I am kind of surprised this one is only 8 games. However, he could not even keep himself out of trouble after that, since not long after he got pulled over by the cops in Arizona. But the Bears had enough and cut him before camp even started. Tank finally wore out his welcome in Chitown. Think the Raiders will make a run?

And finally, the worst of the lot, the one that will stink like old garbage, the ongoing Michael Vick/dog fighting saga.

With reports that Vick is a heavyweight in the fighting, and investigations are getting deeper, the story looked bad. But then it got much worse and became the item that affects the entire Falcons season, possibly colors the entire NFL season and potentially derails Vick’s career.

Vick was indicted by a Federal grand jury in the investigation. Four witnesses listed in indictment are testifying against Vick and three others mentioned in the document. As of now, one of those co-defendants copped a plea and will now testify against Vick and the remaining two. And there is a possibility one or both of those remaining co-defendants could turn against Vick. The allegations in the document are horrible, including execution of dogs by horrific means such as electrocution, drowning and slamming dogs onto the pavement as well as gambling on dog fighting and conspiring with known gamblers. From the reports circulating, this is not something that occurred on the property outside of Vick’s knowledge or sphere of influence, as he has stated before. This looks to be an operation that Vick personally helped build from the ground up, including finding and procuring the land, having the house built, having all the implements built or purchased for dog fighting and even being present during executions of dogs that would not fight. If even a quarter of these things are true, I hope they lock him up for a very long time. The trial could potentially start in as little as 4-6 months.

While Vick has been ordered for the time being to stay away from training camp, the NFL is playing it close to the vest, waiting on the results of their own investigation until they act. I can follow their reasoning too. Part of it comes from the fact that Vick is a marquee player; part of it is that he is not a repeat offender and part of it is they do not want an incident like the situation with the Duke Lacrosse team. But this is very different from other first time offenses. This is not a drunken driving offense, or smoking some weed, this is killing and training dogs to kill. Goodell should step up and back up his tough talk about off the field behavior and personal conduct and suspend Vick, at least for the first half of the season.

The mere fact that he is wrapped up in actions as deplorable as these, whether directly or indirectly, is a massive black eye on the league, especially since Vick is one of their marquee players. And if he has been consorting with gamblers that alone makes the situation far worse. If Goodell really wants to show the players and owners who is in charge and what behavior will and will not be tolerated, he needs to put Vick on the shelf. Show everyone that no one is above the game, no matter who they are. If Vick turns out to be innocent, then perhaps welcome him back after the fact. However, if you ask me there is absolutely no way that he can be by the mere fact that he allowed such travesties to take place on his property. But until then, bench him and show him there will be consequences for his actions, no matter how indirect they might be. Of course, the federal government may take care of that for the NFL when all is said and done. The longer Goodell stalls, the worse he looks and the less serious other players, lawyers and the NFLPA will take his future disciplinarian actions. Plus, the worse the league looks in the eyes of the fans and public in general. Already the NFL and companies that Vick has advertised for have been picketed and protested. Vick was vigorously booed when he arrived for his arraignment. Goodell needs to act quickly, decisively and strong. The sooner the better too, since other players do not seem to get the gravity of the situation as this snippet from the Associated Press will show.

“NORFOLK, Va. (AP) -- Washington Redskins players Clinton Portis and Chris Samuels defended Michael Vick on Monday by ridiculing the notion that dog fighting is considered a crime.
In an interview with WAVY-TV, Portis said that if the Atlanta Falcons quarterback is charged and convicted of being involved in a dog fighting operation, then authorities would be "putting him behind bars for no reason."
Portis, a native of Laurel, Mississippi, added: "I know a lot of back roads that got a dog fight if you want to go see it. But they're not bothering those people because those people are not big names. I'm sure there's some police got some dogs that are fighting them, some judges got dogs and everything else."”

Not only is this the wrong thing to say, it is an even worse thing to mean. To me, basically, Portis is telling the world that he is a stupid man with too much money and no concern for any other living creature on this earth except for their entertainment value to him. I know what he does for a living is to entertain us, but at the moment, I am wondering why I partake in his particular brand of entertainment. I know there is a fine line between the controlled chaos of football and dog fighting. They are both in crude terms creatures physically attacking each other for supremacy. But men have a choice in the matter, are well compensated for their work and the goal of each one is to leave the field in one piece. These dogs have no choice, are not compensated or even treated decently in their lives and their goal is to kill any other dog put in front of them. Plus, no one starves a football player to make him angry and play harder.

Later in the same day he issued this statement through the Redskins.

"In the recent interview I gave concerning dog fighting, I want to make it clear I do not take part in dog fighting or condone dog fighting in any manner,".

I am willing to bet my next two paychecks he did not write that, nor felt a particular need to say that. He was probably prompted to issue the statement by a friendly team of lawyers on retainer by the Redskins.

What is worse is he is not the only player to make statements basically minimizing the horror that is dog fighting. The Jets Jonathan Vilma and former Cowboy Emmitt Smith have both made comments basically stating similar thoughts as Portis. It boggles my mind that these men seem to have no issue with sending dogs against each other in mortal combat. To not find any issue with people training dogs to kill other dogs for the purposes of gambling? You honestly do not think that is not a huge problem? I know people grow up in different circumstances and with different lifestyles, but just your own conscience and built in sense of right and wrong should tell, no scream, to you that this is wrong. I know we have an attachment to dogs in this country that is not found everywhere in the world, but that should matter not. They are defenseless creatures against the will of man, and it is our place on earth to make sure we bring no harm to them. Killing them for money and sport goes directly against this, and if you find no issue with this, then I prefer to not only not know you, but not associate with you and will walk the other way if I see you coming in my direction. Commissioner, it seems as the problem is far wider than previously anticipated, and you may need to give courses to some players on how to be a human being as well as how to be a football player.

Although it is difficult to think of such things, looking at the Falcons from a pure football standpoint, the team is looking pretty dumb right now. Not just for supporting Vick and sacrificing several coaches in preference to him, but also for shipping away Matt Schaub. That could back to haunt them, especially if potential starter Joey Harrington cannot deliver. I wonder if Jim Mora Jr. is sitting in Seattle, quietly chuckling at the inept organization that tossed him in favor of their “star” quarterback. To make matters worse, running back Warrick Dunn had to have back surgery and will be out 3-4 weeks. It does not look good for Falcons fans this year, if there are any left. Who wants to have a Vick jersey trash can party?

We have come to the end of the off season nonsense for the moment. Stay tuned for the upcoming camp special, where we will test out some ideas for the season, and hopefully be able to concentrate on football and not legal maneuvers and contract stupidity. See you soon.