The Crystal Ball 2007 The Championships

Is the world coming to an end?

I have to wonder about this considering all of the potential seventh signs of the apocalypse that occurred last weekend.

- I sat on my couch feverishly rooting for a team that only 7 days previously had torn my heart out. (Ok, the terrible 3rd and 6 play call and the awful non-call holding on 4th and 2 really did it, but why split hairs?)
- The Patriots are 17-0 with a run and shoot offense and a questionable defense
- Brett Favre evades a sack, tosses an underhanded pass while performing a spectacular face plant all at the young age of 85.
- Norv Turner has successfully coached a team to the championship round, with most of his key starters on the bench in a hostile environment with the zebras against him.
- The Giants have won 2 playoff games, on the road, under Tom Coughlin, and Eli Manning was prominently involved in both.
- Peyton Manning has to sit home this weekend and watch his little brother play for a chance to go to the Super Bowl!

Honestly, either the world is mere days from ceasing to exist or we have all been transported to Bizarro World. If people start saying goodbye when they introduce themselves, I’m moving to the woods with a truckload of beef jerky and water purification tablets until things blow over.


Recap

Packers 42 – Seahawks 20

This is why HD was invented. Not for the incredible detail or super slow motion replays with unbelievable clarity, but to watch individual snowflakes accumulate on the bill of Mike Holmgren’s hat, turning him into a blustery abominable snowman.

Now come on, who doesn’t love a snow game! Well, except for the concessions people, sideline staff, players who have to cool their jets for long periods of time and fans sitting still for 3 plus hours. But for those of us in our comfy, warm homes, who doesn’t love a snow game!

The first quarter proved exciting but not to Packer fans at the start as Seattle leapt to a 14-0 lead thanks to two Ryan Grant fumbles. The first came on the very first play of scrimmage as Grant attempted to make something from a bad pass. The second one came as Grant got nailed going up the middle. Lambeau Field laid in shock at the turn of events.

But no one needed to worry. Brett kept the offense calm and Grant kept his head up. After the second lost fumble, he ran like a man possessed. Not once losing the ball again, Grant used those mistakes as inspiration and had a huge game, knocking out 201 yards and 3 touchdowns.

As Grant kicked things up, the Packer offense took over. Favre engineered two fantastic scoring drives. The first drive showed a heavy on the pass and the second a good mixture of passes and runs.

The second drive proved to be the game changer for the Packers, and the Seahawks. Eagle eye Brett kept the second scoring drive going by successfully convincing McCarthy to challenge the spot of the ball after third down. The re-spot gave Green Bay a fresh set of downs and renewed life. Hmmm, Brett Favre, trial lawyer. I could see it.

After the offense tied things up, the Packer defense went to work and shut down the Seahawk offense. Plus, they started creating turnovers and mismatches, including a fumble recovery that set up the go ahead touchdown early in the 2nd quarter. After that, the Seahawks answer with field goal and Green Bay never looked back.

Once the 3rd quarter hit, the Pack started putting the boots to the Hawks. And Seattle’s much vaunted run defense and ability to pressure the quarterback were nullified by the elements, the offensive line, and the possessed Ryan Grant

Holmgren just gave up after the third quarter. How else can you explain punting on 4th and 15 with only 4 minutes left and down 22 points? Perhaps it is time for him to retire.

Poor Matt, I guess he never got that chance to get the ball and score.

Did anyone else want to see Brett drop to the ground at the end and make a snow angel? It can’t be just me. The snowballs with Driver were fun, but I wanted more.

Oh that Brett, he’s just having fun out there.


Patriots 31 – Jaguars 20

This is the stats the brandished to start the game. Tom Brady is 3-0 lifetime against Jaguars, never once throwing and interception. He is also 6-0 in playoff games at home.

Hmmm, I wonder what’s in the bar….

What is that, hope? The Jax put together a fantastic first drive, coming out throwing to catch New England unaware. A great call on 4th and 1 kept the drive alive and an awesome throw while being tackled on 3rd and goal staked them to an early 7-0 lead.

The Patriots previously had never allowed an opponent to score on their opening drive in any previous playoff game under Belichick. Hmmm, the Patriots break another record. Dare I dream?

I just might, the Jax defense comes out and sacks Brady on first down. Perhaps there is hope.

Oh wait, never mind, they screwed up on second down and allowed a 33 yard screen pass.

Brady sliding for two yards; he’s such a weenie. Don’t wanna damage the goods!

The Pats go for it on 4th and 4 from Jax 40, answering right back. Brady to Moss for 15 yards and a 1st down. Sigh.

Yes, I’ll need a big glass, a beer stein perhaps.

Ok, Pats score, and now the Jaguars need to answer. And how do they? By Garrard fumbling the ball and giving the Patriots unbelievable field position.

Or maybe I’ll just use a big bucket and drink from that.

Maurice Jones-Drew screws up the kickoff reception, but at least wisely falls on the ball. The Jaguars start their drive at their own 5 yard line.

Mixers? Maybe just a splash of something, why cut the booze?

Jones-Drew keeps playing heads up by falling on a fumbled pass reception. At least it kept the Jags with ball and their drive alive. Finally Jacksonville starts asserting their running game. They keep moving the ball and keeping it out of the hands of the Patriot offense.

Oh, hold the bucket! What a fantastic touchdown catch by Ernest Wilford. Jaguars tie the game again with a stellar 11 play drive for 95 yards in which they amassed 7 first downs and chewed up 7:11 on the clock.

Where is this stifling Jaguar defense? Offense is doing its part to limit possessions and put points on the board, but the defense has allowed New England to score on both initial possessions. I thought their defense was supposed to be bad ass?

Can you mix vodka and rum?

Whoa hold up! Gostkowski missed wide right on a 35 yard field goal attempt. Can I smell a potential momentum swing? Finally the Jax defense stops the Pats offense.

14-14 at halftime and Tom Terrific has gone 12/12 in passing. Even I have to applaud that.

Hmmm, ice or no ice, that is the question.

Jacksonville is playing a bend don’t break defense, allowing small runs and short receptions underneath coverage to avoid the big pass play. Here’s my question, and I’ve posed this before in different contexts. When exactly does a bend don’t break, prevent defense prevent anything? On the opening drive of the 3rd quarter, Brady took everything the defense gave him and marched his offense right down the field for a touchdown. So once again, what’s the point of said defense if it prevents nothing? I mean, Jacksonville said before the game that their big goal was to not give up any big plays. Well, if you give up every other play, including scoring plays, then what does it matter?

And how does Jacksonville answer the Patriots? With a field goal after Northcutt heard footsteps and dropped a gimme pass that would have provided a much needed first down.

Oooooh, tequila!

And true to form, New England comes right back with a touchdown aided by a beyond questionable roughing the passer call.

And speaking of getting calls, where’s the flag on Roid-ney Harrison for tackling out of bounds?

Why waste a bucket when I can take it from the bottle. Increase productivity by eliminating the middle man.

Wait, calling a blitz on 3rd and 8 against an offense not known for its explosiveness? Great call there Belichick, how’d that first down taste? Seriously, how are these guys 16-0?

Ummm, I know it’s his first season as a starter, but can someone tell me why Garrard is throwing into the end zone into triple coverage?

Ok, I understand going for the field goal, grab the points, and keeping the game to a one score affair. But unless the defense can actually stop the Patriots offense, none of that matters.

And there’s the defense not stopping New England, and Brady throwing a big pass to Stallworth and moving them deep into Jacksonville territory. So much for that whole, we don’t want to give up the big play.

Limes? Nope, cut’s the tequila taste.

And thank you David Garrard, for picking the worst time to make a mistake and throw the interception. Not only did that put a cap on the game, but also the evening as he threw it to the immortal Roid-ney Harrison.

Just to clarify, tell me again why I’m supposed to admire the Patriots? I mean, the face mask on Fred Taylor, Harrison hitting out of bounds and hitting players already down after the play is blown dead, the uncalled holding by the line, Stallworth admiring himself on the Jumbotron as he streaks down the sidelines. Are we really to admire and emulate these dirty, cheating, self centered, smug twits?

Ok. Two more chances for someone to beat these jerks.

You can mix tequila and whisky, right?


Chargers 28 – Colts 24

Wow, the Colts came out fast and strong. They tore up the field with a stellar opening drive and scored the first points of the game. Peyton looked sharp and prepared, and the offense was humming. The defense then followed suit, but not only getting the ball on a huge turnover, but also eliminating their biggest threat when Tomlinson went out with a knee injury.

And then the game went from looking like a potential blow out to the shattered remains of a major award.

It started with a bad fumble by Harrison, who looked very rusty in his limited action.

It continued when the Chargers mounted an effective drive to tie the game. The Colt defense could not stop Rivers on third down.

That was followed by the Colts putting together a good drive only to see it short circuit in the end, a theme that would reoccur throughout the afternoon. Vinatieri did give them a lead with a great kick.

Things looked hopeful when a good Charger drive was stopped by the defense pulling things together and Kaeding missing the kick. But that was merely an aberration as a bad pass by Peyton that sailed too high was picked off by Cromartie and ran back for a touchdown. A holding call nullified it, but the damage was already done. The Chargers began to believe and the Colts began to doubt.

The second half did not help, as the Chargers, without the services of Tomlinson for the remainder of the game, mounted an impressive opening drive to take the lead 14-10. San Diego rolled with Turner in the backfield and spread open the offense with Chambers and Vincent Jackson, who was huge all afternoon for the Bolts, making stellar catches when they needed them most.

The Colts secondary gave too much room to the Charger receivers, allowing them to get their routes and timing down perfectly and keep the offense moving.

On the other side of the field, the Colts offense looked completely unbalanced, heavily favoring the pass. This tactic would haunt them often, as the reliance on the pass led to turnovers, including Manning’s second interception of the game, a short passed that was tipped and caught at the Charger 2 yard line.

Things went from bad to worse, as for every positive, the Colts suffered multiple negatives. The defense got a 3 and out, but then the team lost Addai with head injury after big hit. Then Bob Sanders was hurt with a shoulder injury. The Chargers had lost Luis Castillo and Tomlinson, and suddenly the game turned into a war of attrition.

Wait something good. Peyton made a very smart play by quick snapping the ball to catch San Diego in a substitution and grab 5 yards, a 1st down and 1st and goal.

But then Kenton Keith went out injured, and a banged up Addai was thrust back in game.

But here’s a good thing, Reggie Wayne applied a great fake out to grab a reception and score a touchdown. But the Chargers answered right back with another touchdown and utilized a fantastic screen pass to score. Oooooh, bad thing.

And now a good thing! Anthony Gonzalez made a fantastic catch for a huge touchdown that went 55 yards showing unbelievable concentration to stay in bounds and run the length of the field.

But then Rivers comes right back and tosses another touchdown. Wait, there’s good, Rivers came down hard on his right leg. Now San Diego has to rely on Billy Volek to carry the load.

Then the bad started coming in multiples. Not only did San Diego march down the field with Turner and Volek running the show, they also made the Colt defense bite every time on screens. They killed the Indy defense with screens throughout the fourth quarter. Their success resulted in another Charger touchdown and a 28-24 lead with less than 5 minutes to play.

But Peyton and the Colts still have a chance, and they move the ball into Charger territory, but their drive stalls late, again and a 4th and goal touchdown attempt ends up no good.

Still, good must follow, and a great defensive stand and the use of timeouts and the 2 minute warning allow them to preserve one last stab at a go ahead touchdown.

And follow that with bad, and the Chargers unleash an unbelievable 66 yard punt from their own end zone, leaving Peyton with 1:30 left, 1 timeout a 68 yards to go to win the game.

If the pattern is not detectable by now, it never will be. After gaining 5 yards, and losing Reggie Wayne to a wicked hard hit on 3rd down, the Colts are left with a 4h and 5 and need a first down to keep the drive alive and have to do it without Wayne and Harrison.

Unfortunately, the last bad thing happened, the Colts offense short circuited at the worst time, and they got nothing. Game over. The Colts title defense ends with a whimper and a one and done.


Giants 21 – Cowboys 17

Welcome to the Battle of the Horrible Coaches. In the away corner, we have Tom Coughlin, with a career playoff record of 6-6, two of those victories coming in the last two weeks. In the home corner, we have Wade Phillips, with a career playoff record of 0-3. Both have had successful seasons thus far, but who will reveal his true nature first? Let’s get ready to stumble!

Not a bad start for either team, with NY firing the first salvo with a touchdown and Dallas answering right back with a fabulous touchdown pass to Owens. Hmmm, his ankle looks fine to me.

Wait, Owens’s has his own hyperbaric chamber? Why am I just learning about this? Does this confirm that T.O. is completely nuts? When does he go off the deep end like Michael Jackson and become really bizarre? I’m taking the under on 5 years. If I see him hanging out with Rodman, all bets are off.

Oooooh, Coughlin takes the early lead with a terrible challenge.

The Cowboys mount a 20 play, 90 yard drive that eats up 10:30 of the clock. The second quarter consisted almost entirely of one Cowboy drive. Coughlin takes a step closer to victory over Phillips.

Hold the phone the battle has been joined! The Giants pull their coach out of the fire with a stellar drive, moving the length of the field in 48 seconds using their 2 time outs wisely to stake a touchdown and tie the score at halftime. Phillips you fiend!

The Cowboys put together another long, defense exhausting drive. They are working to suck the life out of the Giant defense. But it does not work well enough, as they only come out of it with a field goal.

Philips takes his first real lead as the Giants put together great drive that results in a touchdown and move ahead of Dallas 21-17.

Giants defense stiffening by the play with the lead in the 4th quarter, and I need to call out Giant DB Corey Webster. In a banged up and patchwork secondary, Webster played phenomenal for one simple reason, he gets a good chuck on his receiver at the line of scrimmage. He blew Owens all game and kept him out of his rhythm and off his routes and timing. Great play all afternoon, especially considering the shape their secondary was in as the game wore on.

Wade starts to pull away from Tom as Dallas begins to fall apart throughout the 4th quarter. The team begins making more stupid penalties, mental mistakes and foolish actions. Their loss and Wade’s victory are imminent through self destruction

Less than 4 minutes left Giants ball. They only need a first down and they have the game won. Can Coughlin keep it together? No! On 2nd and 5, he calls a silly run up the middle when he should have run a play action, bootleg, delayed draw or even went with an audible pass. The Cowboys were expecting run and the defense sold out. Tom’s still fighting, it’s still close.

Now the Cowboys have the ball back and 1:50 left with the ball on the Giants 48 yard line. Last chance and gasp for the offense, and Wade’s last chance to put this one away.

He gets off to a great start, as his charges waste so much time in the hurry up offense. Good move by the Giants to eat up time arguing running play, but Tom, you won’t win that way.

An awesome heads up play by Romo on 3rd and 2 to grab the first down and keep the drive alive, but it’s not what Wade needed.

This is it, the Cowboys with a 4th and 11, no time outs and the ball on the Giants 23. Who will win? Romo passes, ball intercepted by the Giants. Game over. Wade Phillips is the champion in the Battle of the Horrible Coaches!


NFL, the alternative Universe

Finally, a distraction! Now, I’m not going to drag Moss to a guilty verdict in the court of public opinion. Let due process take its course and the truth will come out. And I certainly do not want to make light or trivialize violence against women, a huge problem in this country and one that tends to rear its ugly head far more often than it should in professional sports. But something smells fishy from this whole incident, from both sides of the case. She seems to be aiming at getting some money out of Moss considering the timing of the restraining order, and he certainly is being cryptic and comes off rather suspicious with this whole “accident” business. But like I said, the facts will come out soon enough.

Now, if you were Roger Goodell, how many sleepless nights are you having over this, wondering what are the truths behind the situation and rhetoric? Your newly minted regular season touchdown receptions leader is now embroiled in a case regarding domestic violence on the eve of his team attempting to reach an unprecedented 18-0. What happens if this turns into a full blown Michael Vick style off season long affair with a rabbit hole seems to never end? How many fires will break out because of this? What kind of damage will it do to the league, and the Patriots? Goodell has said numerous times he will not tolerate off the field behavior from players that damage the league. What happens if the Patriots make the Super Bowl, and in the space between now and then, revelations come out that cast Moss in an even darker light, or charges are filed? Will he suspend him, and potentially change the course of the Super Bowl? Will the Patriots use this as yet another us against the world type of motivation, even though I find it difficult to believe any member of that team could justifiably stand by Moss if the allegations are true. Too many questions and not enough answers. One thing is certain, why Moss would allow himself to even get into a situation where a hint of chicanery could be applied, especially after all he had done to rehabilitate his image, is beyond comprehension.

Moving on, why did I have to wait until the playoffs for more funny Peyton Manning commercials? Yeesh. Hopefully with the extra time off this off season, we can see more. I know I’d rather have those than stupid Tom Brady Stetson ads.

AFC South sent 3 representatives to the playoffs. All are now eliminated.

NFC East sent 3 representatives to the playoffs. 2 of the 3 are now eliminated.

Did Eli and Peyton switch uniforms? It sure looked like it, with Eli coming up big in crunch time and Peyton falling apart in the 4th quarter.

Julius Peppers wants paid like Dwight Freeney, after having a horrible year. Ok, your check is on the moon, no, not that one, the one made of green cheese.

O.J. had his bail doubled thanks to his little phone call to his co-defendant, and the Las Vegas judge who handed down the change in bail also gave him a through brow beating. Lady, are you nuts?

Those were some nice crocodile tears from TO after the Dallas loss. They went well with his alligator arms.

A certain number of Cowboy fans started calling Jessica Simpson Yoko Romo, obviously because of their perceived notion that he plays horrible when she’s present. I think it’s just jealously of said fans who wish they were nailing Jessica in Cabo. Considering the game he had, I bet they were wishing she’d been there on Sunday.


Upon Further Review

I have to mention the treat every football fan had last weekend by watching stellar quarterback play. Almost every quarterback that took the field was on their game. Favre’s heroics in the snow, Manning coming up big on the road, Rivers getting the job done, despite his terrible personality, Garrard doing well for most of the game, and Brady going an unbelievable 26 for 28 and setting a postseason record for completion percentage. Watching these gentlemen perform at the peak of their games when things matter most was a delight no one could frown upon. For sheer entertainment, every game had something great. I hope this weekend provides just as much entertainment, athletic skill and derring do.

Saturday night I watched the Patriots offensive line very closely, because I really wanted to see and learn their magic. They are good, very good. Disciplined before the snap, stay with their assignments, pick up blitzes well. They also keep moving, always finding someone new to block if their assignment disappears, and always ready to lay an extra hit on a charging defender. They do all the little things needed to keep running lanes clear, open up holes for the backs and keep people off of Brady’s back so he can take care of business.

But they also hold, and often. On the roughing the passer call against Jacksonville Saturday night, no one called the obvious hold on the Pats offensive line as they attempted to keep Brady clear. No official called it and no one in the booth mentioned it even though it could be plainly seen in replays. They hardly ever get called for their infractions, which are becoming painfully obvious the longer they get away with them. I bet if they had a few games in which people called them on these not so innocent holds, that stellar protection of Brady would break down but toot sweet. I hate to come down on offensive linemen, I love them. Personally, I do not think they get the due they deserve most of the time. And realistically, all linemen hold, it’s a matter of how often you need to use a cheap tactic or how well you can disguise it. I’d just like someone to point out when these guys do it. From the lack of calls they get, you’d think they were perfect. Oh, wait a minute.

And a sad note, famed Steeler and original member of the Steel Curtain Ernie “Fats” Holmes died in a car crash on Thursday. Please see the full article here. Holmes, an ordained minister, was thrown from his vehicle as it left the highway. He was pronounced dead at the scene. A few Steelers from that era have passed on, and all are missed greatly by fans of Pittsburgh and the game. Holmes was part of the great defensive front with L.C. Greenwood, Joe Greene and Dwight White that became known as the Steel Curtain. Their defensive superiority thrust Pittsburgh to their first Super Bowl victory. Holmes will be missed by Steeler Nation, and always loved for his fierce play, unique style, his attempts bring joy and a better life to others and his love for Pittsburgh and its fans. We’ll miss you Fats.


Coaching update

Miami – hired Cowboy assistant head coach Tony Sparano. Parcells always hooks up his peeps. Good luck Tony! How long before the first Tony Sparano/Tony Soprano joke? I give it by draft day, if the Miami Herald had not already trotted a few out.

Atlanta - hired Patriots director of scouting Tom Dimitroff as their new GM. Perhaps a coach is not far behind. At the moment Ron Ryan is the favorite. What a mess he’ll have to clean up.

Ravens – Jason Garrett was front runner until Jerry Jones whipped out his fat checkbook to make sure he stays in Dallas. Eagles’ secondary coach John Harbaugh is the current favorite to land the job.

Redskins –interviewing Colts assistants Ron Meeks and Jim Caldwell, but the thought is that Gregg Williams will assume the post.

Colts – Tony Dungy is still deciding whether to return for another campaign or move on with his life’s work. Irsay says he’ll do whatever it takes to keep Tony, even if it means more time off and winging him to his family in Tampa during the season on his private jet. Jim Caldwell had been interviewing, but removed his name from consideration for Atlanta, Washington or Baltimore. The rumor mill believes this is a signal that Dungy will step down and Caldwell will assume his post.

Seahawks - Holmgren might step down after a disappointing playoff loss and call it a career. Nothing substantiated, but the rumors are swirling like cream in a double latte.


Idiot of the week

Norv Turner almost had this thing locked up before sunset on Sunday. His histrionics on the sidelines of the Chargers/Colts tilt were close to pushing him to heart failure. He spent most of the second half flapping his gums, acting like a gigantic baby, marching out to mid field to argue with officials and making stupid challenges to calls. He challenged twice during the game and lost both of them. But by managing to get the big win, on the road with his best offensive players riding stationary bikes saved his hiney. But not by much.

Philip Rivers made a strong case as well. Seriously, what’s with all the screaming and anger? And taunting the crowd in Indianapolis while you ride the pine and Volek leads the team? Are you a man or a child? Oops, silly question. Good gravy Rivers, please tell me exactly what you have done thus far in your career to warrant such behavior? Here’s hoping he blows a blood vessel at some point. But despite his antics, he still did not grab the top prize.

No, ol’ Norv and young Philip were edged out by CBS and Fox, for plying probably the worst collection of announcers for perhaps the best games of the season thus far.

With such a great game occurring in Lambeau field, on the frozen tundra, in the driving snow, watching Brett Favre spin his magic web again, home viewers had trouble enjoying the game because we had to suffer through another episode of the Tony Siragusa show. Tell me how watching Tony waddle around behind an end zone while providing absolutely zero insight or entertainment to the broadcast or watch him exceed the recommended weight limit of a snow plow is in any way entertaining. One more time, he is not, and will never be, the next Art Donovan.

Immediately following that, viewers were subjected to Jim Nantz and Phil Simms who had the call for the Patriots/Jaguars game. Personally, waterboarding sounds like more fun than listening to these two jabber. I mean, come on, Phil-osophy? But after watching them, I have a great question. What would Nantz and Simms do if the Patriots had to play the Patriots? How would they adequately suck up and kow tow to each team? Would their heads explode, or would they merely sink to the floor and curl up in the fetal position constantly muttering “Brady, Brady, Brady, Brady….”

The only potential for entertainment came when Brady broke the post season record for completion percentage, previously held by Simms. Did he do Marino-style congratulation through gritted teeth? No! He couldn’t even get that right. He acted like it was no big deal his record was no more. Heck, it seemed as though he didn’t even know it was his most of the time.

The Colts/Chargers game was decent, except I kept waiting for Dierdorf to call Rivers a big, strong stud and single handedly creep out America. Plus they had no one on the sideline to give viewers an update on the status of Tomlinson or Rivers. Seriously, you had no one sitting around cooling their heels that could have worked the Charger sidelines? The one time fans need real information and not some dopey interview with a former player, and nothing.

And finally, we come to Fox’s big game, helmed by their #1 team of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. I can’t even get into it. I like Troy; he’s smart, articulate and knows the game inside and out. But his proximity to Buck seems to be making him dumber.

And I know we’ll all have to sit through a Super Bowl with Joe and Troy in the booth. I’m already steeling myself for the worst possible outcome, Buck repeatedly gushing all over himself about the wonderful, undefeated Patriots. Where’s my in flight sick bag?

Because you could not find any better teams, or roll out Cris Collinsworth or Gus Johnson or even renting Al and John from NBC to save at least one game, CBS and Fox, you are both idiots.


On Tap This Week

Stupid Indy. They went and choked away a perfectly winnable game, at home no less, to screw up the AFC Championship weekend. I mean, you were battling Michael Turner and Billy Volek for crimoney’s sake! Not only did you screw up the entertainment value of fans worldwide, but you also screwed me up royally.

I had a great thing prepared comparing Tony Dungy to Mr. Miyagi, thanks to my lovely fiance who pointed out how much she thought Tony was like the wise character portrayed by Pat Morita, and Bill Belichick to John Kreese, leader of the Cobra Kai dojo. This made Tom Brady our Johnny (the immortal Billy Zabka) and turned Peyton into Daniel-san for the ultimate showdown. It worked perfectly, especially since Bill Simmons of ESPN.com has been calling his beloved Patriots the Cobra Kai Yankees.

Oh, I had a cadre of Peyton-san jokes waiting in the wings. Now? Nothing. You think I can call Norv Turner Mr. Miyagi? He’s not even the economics professor from Back to School! (Another Zabka classic.)

For shame closing out the RCA Dome era like that, completely sub par and unacceptable. Plus, you screwed up my picks.

Last week 2-2
Playoffs to date 4-4
Season to date 171-93

So what do I have this week? Uhhhhh, all four teams playing this weekend are from two name cities. That’s it.


Sunday

AFC Championship Game

San Diego (13-5) at New England (17-0)

Chargers secondary versus the Patriot passing attack should be THE match up of this game. Now, I like the Chargers chances, especially with Cromartie working his game, but tell me, what good will it do? Who will they have left on offense to make the engine go? You think the Bolts are winning with Billy Volek and Michael Turner? Sure, they have revenge on their mind from their own playoff collapse last season, but who will carry the load? Their only hope is some quick healing and the power of distraction. Still ain’t enough. Brace yourselves kiddies….

Patriots over Chargers


NFC Championship Game

New York Giants (12-6) at Green Bay (14-3)

Oh, what a nice gesture the Giants did for me. In one single action, they took away my worst nightmare Super Bowl scenario, Dallas versus New England. So kind of them. And I have not let it go unnoticed that they are working a similar path to the Super Bowl, just like a certain team that gets mentioned here constantly did just two years ago. See if this strikes anyone as familiar. A sixth seed that barely squeaks into the playoffs thanks to a late season surge. They get off to a slow start in their wild card game on the road, but end up dominating the contest. Then they go to the #1 seed and control the game throughout, withstand a late game surge from the favored home team and pull out a stunning upset at the end. Now they head to #2 seed for a championship game match up that few think they can win. Does this script sound familiar to anyone? Perhaps those in the western Pennsylvania area?

Maybe Eli is unstoppable. Of course, he’s also said he hates playing in the freezing cold. We know Brett doesn’t mind it too much, except in Chicago.

Packers over Giants