The Crystal Ball 2008 Week 3

Welcome to another fabulous week of The Crystal Ball, where we always put the tires back on the car with only 3 lug nuts!


Opening Kickoff

The Ravens/Texans game was moved over the weekend to November 9th, and Texans/Bengals scheduled for that weekend was moved to Oct. 26 due to Hurricane Ike. There was too much damage to Reliant Stadium to make it safe for the teams and fans to attend. Our hopes and prayers go out to the people in that region who are working and struggling to put their lives back together after Ike’s wrath.


Recap

Ooooh! BRETT’S FIRST GAME SCREWING INTERCEPTION! Jet fans, you loved what Brett brought to the table, well, tuck in cause he also brings that nonsense.

Really Mangini, you could not do any better than that against a depleted Pats team? Who’s the bigger fool, them, or me for dreaming out loud?

Ravens/Texans moved to November 9th, and Texans/Bengals for that weekend moved to Oct. 26 due to Ike. Too much damage to Reliant stadium made it unsafe for the teams to play this week. I’m glad Reliant took the brunt and not the people.

How do you get called for false starts at home? I saw the Cowboys do it, and the Broncos did it twice in a row. Terrible discipline.

What a shootout on Monday night. I said early on it would be one of those games where the last team with the ball to score wins. Tony Kornheiser managed to say the same thing at the beginning of the 4th quarter. Nice observation three quarters into the game, Tony. I could do his job, for less cash and have a much better time with Jaws and Tirico. And Tony, just so you know, the only one who cares anymore about the TO/McNabb and Eagles split and feud is you. Let it go, the rest of us have even attention whore TO.

That game had everything, big pass plays, big runs, special teams heroics, a fumble recovery in the end zone and a combined final score of 78. The only thing missing was defense and that peeped its head on the Eagles final drive. The Eagles defense desperately needs to learn to wrap their arms when they go in to make a tackle. I hope they do not learn it before tomorrow.

The Eagles make too many dumb mistakes and choke up near the end of a close game. Not a good sign for a team looking to return to the playoffs. McNabb may not like to scramble any more. Perhaps he might enjoy throwing the ball away to save himself a sack and clock time. And come on Andy Reid, I mean really, a lateral on 4th and 17? That’s the best you can come up with?

Dallas is a horribly disciplined team. False starts, holdings, and tons of face mask penalties, those called and not called. I started thinking they were like the Raiders of the 70’s. A maverick owner who likes to collect high talent, high trouble players some of which might be on their last chance, a likeable coach, fevered fans, big fame and lots of flash the comparisons are almost eerie. But I didn’t realize how accurate that comparison was until I watched all the undisciplined and dirty plays they make.

You want proof, something to back up this observation? No problem, check this quote from Jerry Jones from his radio show:

Jones said Hochuli "is quick to the draw" on throwing flags. "His crew calls a lot of penalties. Maybe the answer is to tell people like that, 'Keep that whistle out of your mouth.'"

Besides the fact that Jones is a total twit and only sticking his nose in the Hochuli situation because he wants press to talk about him, why would he say this? Does he have a death wish? Quite possibly. Or does he already know he has an undisciplined squad that will invariably commit some penalty during a critical moment, and he’s setting up a way to blame someone other than the player, the coach or himself. Watch, this will happen this season. Dallas will lose a critical game at a critical moment because of some sort of personal foul, and Jones will blame the referee. I’d bet my next paycheck on it.

Speaking of dirty plays, someone check Brian Westbrook this week for whiplash.

Orton and his neck beard must learn how to finish a game. But how about those Panthers? I wrote them off for the first two weeks without Steve Smith. Goes to show what I know. I guess John Fox got tired of those Bill Cowher rumors.

Hey Bill, you like St. Louis?

The Rams are just sad. If Linehan makes it to the bye week, it would be a miracle.

Yes Ed Hochuli screwed up the call at the end of the Chargers/Broncos game. And yes, it was a great touchdown and super ballsy to go for the 2 point conversion. Fortune indeed does favor the bold. And it made for a thrilling finish to a big game. But let us not forget, if it were not for Denver partially collapsing and giving up 21 unanswered points, that situation would never have existed. And for that matter, it’s 2nd and goal on the 2 yard line. Why the hell is Cutler dropping back to pass? You have no one that can fly over the top?

At least Ed screwing up did one thing. It got Norv turner so fired up he showed life for the first time since, well ever. And Norv, I think you should be more concerned your defense cannot hold one team to less than 10 yards for two downs than what punishment Hochuli receives.

The Denver WR corps is set for a few years.

Seattle’s however, not so much. That team is just decimated. They’re nothing more than a MASH unit at this point, and the situation keeps getting bleaker. We might, and it’s early so I mean a BIG might, see the NFC West division champion Arizona Cardinals. I need to double check, but I think that’s the 5th sign of the apocalypse.

I’ll give Peyton Manning this, he refuses to lose no matter how bare the cupboard may be.

I thought KC would beat Oakland, a bitter rival. They were home, and while the team is a mess they still went strong against New England last week. But once I saw Herm Edwards auditioning quarterbacks, I knew I was screwed. Hey Herm, I thought you played to win the game?

I like the Pack and Rodgers moxie. They got a good lead, but relaxed and started to blow the game which is a bad sign, complacency is never good. What did they do after that? They nutted up and poured it on with the defense scoring twice. That’s the way to put away an opponent.

Oh, there’s the Jason Campbell I saw in the hall of fame game. .

I love a defense that runs with the mentality of tearing their opponent’s head off. But perhaps Paul Posluszny took that attitude almost too far. I was more surprise he did not twisted Maurice Jones-Drew’s head off.


The Steel Pit

Browns were lucky for the inclement weather, it helped fortify their defense. What a sloppy mess this one turned out to be.

Easily the worst part of game was Keisel injuring his calf and now he’ll be out up to two months. D line is already somewhat thin, this really hurts.

Although the defense as a whole did their usual shut down job on Jamal Lewis, so that’s a plus.

How about Chris Kemoeatu? Each week he keeps making me think, Alan who?

Big Ben was being very coy about his shoulder. I’m sure he’ll play, but I think it’s worse than he, and the team, is letting own. When he’d leave the field, he’d hold his arm at an angle and unstrap his helmet with his left hand. After the game he dodged questions about his shoulder from Andrea Kramer better than Justin Long vs the Globo Gym Purple Cobras. Something’s wrong, and I’m concerned with a big game this week and a long season ahead.

Mike Tomlin talking about a late hit on Roethlisberger that was not called, similar to one on Derek Anderson that was called as roughing the passer.

"They looked very similar to me. I don't cry about calls because you can't change them; ask Norv Turner."

Oooooh, wicked burn!


NFL The Alternative Universe

Ok, so I did not have all the facts on Vince Young last week. Vince apparently was mentioning suicide on Monday to a team psychiatrist and that’s what prompted the police to search for him. Look, if he’s having serious issues, he should seek help. But considering his statements afterwards, I think he just needs to get thicker skin. Vince, I know some fans can be rough, and a majority of them are liquored up douche bags who’d blanche if they had to do what you do. But you cannot let them get to you if you want to be a success.

The Lady K and I opted not to get Sunday Ticket this season, for a multitude of reasons. So for the time being we are stuck with network games. Our choices for the early games last week were the colossal Oakland at KC contest and the marvelous Giants at Rams collision. That might be the two worst games of the season, unless KC plays St. Louis. At one point, it was a competition between the games to see whose home crowd could boo the loudest.

Kornheiser, we get it. Dallas is a circus, and how bout them Cowboys. It was an interesting little piece during pregame. I didn’t need to hear a shorter variation of the same speech in the critical moments of the 4th quarter.

Cowboy cheerleaders are more famous, but Eagle cheerleaders are hotter.

A small note to Al Davis: Al, I know you’re contemplating canning Lane Kiffin. I do not blame you, because he is obviously the cause of ALL the Raider problems for the last 6 plus years. But before you do, let me ask you one question. If you can him who the hell would take the job? Obviously you didn’t want Rob Ryan in the first place, what makes you think he’d take the job now? Wow, it’s almost too sad at this point.

Brad Childress found his job in jeopardy, so he benched Tavaris Jackson. And what happens now in the NFL when a player has it rough? Their mom comes to the rescue.

"I don't think they really gave him a fair shake because, if you're running the ball more than you're throwing the ball, then how is he going to be comfortable with his position?"

Anyone else underperforming that would like to have their mommy defend them? Perhaps the entire Rams team? Howie, would you like to step in for Chris?

From the AP:

Oakland Raiders defensive end Tommy Kelly was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence. Authorities say Kelly was booked at Oakland's Glenn E. Dyer Detention Facility on Monday and later released. Calls to the Raiders and Kelly's agent were not immediately returned.

The Raiders signed Kelly to a $50.5 million contract this year even though the veteran defensive lineman was coming off a serious knee injury that cut his 2007 season short. Kelly had surgery to repair a torn anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee.

Kelly replaced Warren Sapp as the anchor of the Raiders' defensive line.

Right on schedule.


Upon Further Review

Let’s be honest about this, yes Ed Hochuli made a bad call. He blew the whistle too soon and killed a play before all the facts were in. But officials in every sport make mistakes, just like players and coaches. It happens every game and by everyone. They are humans too, prone to error. But two things stand out in Ed’s defense. One, he did what officials are instructed to do, monitor the game in such a way to keep quarterbacks safe. And two, he owned up to his error immediately.

While it’s fair to give him bad grades for a bad performance, I find it a shame. People make mistakes, but rarely do you hear them admit to them. Every week I see horrible judgment calls by officials. How many obvious face mask penalties were made by the Cowboys Monday night were not called? Mistakes are made but it takes a real man to admit them.

To Ed’s credit, he has been responding personally to the vehement hate mail he’s been receiving from Charger douche bags, I mean fans and stating that he “failed miserably”. And the NFL head of officiating Mike Pereira has said that he has spoken to Hochuli and Big Ed has been devastated by this mistake. I think Pereira is mistaken. I think the truth is Ed is not devastated, but about to unleash devastation with his massive guns, starting with Charger fans and Norv Turner. Trust me, it’s gonna happen and soon. Oh, the news will call it an earthquake, but when it happens know it’s just Ed’s big pythons raining down justice.


Idiot of the week

Oh, could it have been anyone but the Eagles DeSean Jackson? Hell no! Jackson wins for his stupid tossing of the ball before hitting the end zone to begin a moronic celebration. Easily the dumbest thing I’ve seen on a football field. I know, he’s a rookie and he’s got some learning to do. But making sure you are in the end zone should be fundamentally ingrained since pee wee league.

Who loved it the most? TO of course. For all the heat he’s taken for end zone celebrations through the years, at least he was IN the end zone before he started up.


On Tap This Week

Ok, another solid week, I’ll take it.

Last week 10-6
Season to date 20-12

I need to do better though, and quit picking suckers!


Sunday

Kansas City (0-2) at Atlanta (1-1)

Oh look, a sucker! Herm “you play to win the game” Edwards is going this week with Coastal Carolina product Tyler Thigpen as his starting QB. What was KC jealous of Oakland’s lack of success? Amending games they win this season from 4 to 2.

Falcons over Chiefs


Oakland (1-1) at Buffalo (2-0)

Wow, the Bills could be 3-0 after this weekend, as long as they don’t get complacent and overlook Oakland. Wait what am I saying? No problems here.

Bills over Raiders


Tampa Bay (1-1) at Chicago (1-1)

What can I say? The neck beard will not be denied two weeks in a row.

Bears over Buccaneers


New Orleans (1-1) at Denver (2-0)

Denver is a sexy pick, and despite the potential for a letdown. But I wasn’t sold on the Saints at the beginning of the season, and I’m still not sold on them after last week’s dismal performance.

Broncos over Saints


Dallas (2-0) at Green Bay (2-0)

Oooooh, I like this one! The first real test for Mr. Rodgers, as the Cowboys invade his neighborhood! After last week’s test, something tells me the Pack will not be saying hello neighbor!

Packers over Cowboys


Houston (0-1) at Tennessee (2-0)

Houston is still rattled. And Tennessee is working on a winning formula.

Titans over Texans


Jacksonville (0-2) at Indianapolis (1-1)

That cupboard is getting mighty bare. Now the ultra dynamic, and ultra delicate, Bob Sanders is out with right ankle sprain. The Jaguars will be playing with their hair on fire. I want to take Jacksonville, but watching Manning last week, I don’t know how I can say no to someone who wills his team to win. Manning last week was Kurt Russell in Tombstone, charging through the river at Curly Bill yelling, NO! 10 bucks says he walks on water again.

Colts over Jaguars


Carolina (2-0) at Minnesota (0-2)

The Vikings have benched Jackson for 37 year old Gus Ferrotte. Wow, pretty early to hit the panic button. I don’t think it was Jackson who allowed the patchwork colt offense to score 18 straight points, was it? Childress, if you really want a proven veteran to bring stability, it might be time to suck up some pride and dial 1-800-CULPEPPER. In the meantime, I bet Steve Smith is itching to re-establish his dominance.

Panthers over Vikings


Miami (0-2) at New England (2-0)

From the Joey Porter prognostication desk:

“Throw the kitchen sink at (Cassel)…We’re going to come after the guy. It will be good to go out there and get our first victory.”

I still miss Joey.

Patriots over Dolphins


Cincinnati (0-2) at New York Giants (2-0)

Please. Is New York going to play one hard game this season?

Giants over Bengals


Pittsburgh (2-0) at Philadelphia (2-0)

Oooooh, this is a tough one! Ok, not for me, but I know everyone’s gonna lean on the Eagles. Not me. Pittsburgh defense is better and more disciplined than the Cowboys, and their offense can be just as explosive.

Steelers over Eagles


Detroit (0-2) at San Francisco (1-1)

I was done with Detroit when they lost to a rookie quarterback. J.T. O’Sullivan has more than enough to finish of Kitna. Maybe he’ll call another timeout to scream at coaches for his piss poor play.

49ers over Lions


St. Louis (0-2) at Seattle (0-2)

I hate to tell these teams this, but someone will have to win. Linehan will crack before the Walrus.

Seahawks over Rams


Arizona (2-0) at Washington (1-1)

Tough one, and I don’t like a home team starting to wake up. But I’m still going to go with Whis and crew. You saw him make fun of Pennington, wait until he gets his hands on Campbell.

Cardinals over Redskins


Cleveland (0-2) at Baltimore (1-0)

Cleveland’s regressing faster than a diaper fetishist, and Baltimore had a week off to keep pumping up Joe Flacco. John spends the game wondering what Brett’s doing right now.

Ravens over Browns


Monday

New York Jets (1-1) at San Diego (0-2)

Heaven help the one official who makes a call that goes against the Chargers. Honestly, the Chargers defense is a huge mess. If Mangini’s got an ounce of common sense, he’ll unleash Brett. I risking the week he has that ounce.

Jets over Chargers