The Crystal Ball 2008 Week 11

Welcome to the Crystal Ball, where procrastination is not merely a science, but an art form.


Opening Kickoff

I was right, Penn State did get screwed. Unfortunately they screwed themselves. Nice showing when it mattered with an extra week to prepare, guys. Sigh.


Recap

I was worried that Culpepper might make a positive difference. Whew!

Wow, the Rams really suck.

I have decided the Jets can no longer be called the Jets. From now on, they are the New York Favres. It just feels right.

Singletary is already equal to many of his coaching peers. His clock management skills are terrible. Although going for the win does differentiate him a bit.

Cardinal fans, why were you booing at halftime? Have you had that much success over the past 6 decades to be that finicky?

Awww, look, Jeremy Shockey is causing problems for New Orleans? I thought this was a new leaf for him. Didn’t he say he could thrive there? Oh, he meant thrive as an even bigger douche bag. Good luck coach Payton.

Allen Rossum gained no more than 5 yards anytime he received a kickoff last year with Pittsburgh. This year with the 49ers on Monday night he unleashes a 104 yard TD return. I guess last year he was just saving it up.

And who made the big stop for the cardinals at the end of the game? Clark Haggans that’s who. Ladies and gentlemen your 2008 Arizona Steelers.

Ok, for once I have to give Herm Edwards a compliment. That took guts to go for two at the end of the Chiefs/Chargers mess. It was also the right call, as you have better odds getting a 2 point conversion than getting the ball in overtime plus you challenge the players to win the game. But Herm, didn’t you realize the charger D would key on Gonzalez? Oh, you didn’t? Ooops.

Boy, I hope the Rams can get this contract situation with the league straightened up and they can lock up Jim Haslett long term before someone else nabs him. Any coach with nothing left to lose for t he season and down 40 points on the road who decides to kick a field goal instead of at least trying to score a touchdown is the coach for me. Gee, I cannot imagine why New Orleans canned him.

I like Shaun Hill’s moxie, struggling for a first down helmetless. He seems to want to win. That kind of attitude, and the play I saw from the 49ers Monday, just might translate into a win or two.

Ok, it’s well known the NFL is a copy cat league. I mean look at the proliferation of the shotgun offense over the past 5 years. But really, must everyone have a Wildcat play? What’s the next high school play to make an appearance in the NFL, the muddle huddle? If you know what I’m talking about, you totally get a cookie.


The Steel Pit

Two of the last three games the team started out strong, taking a lead, and could not hold it by the end. A bad omen, foreshadowing for the season, or maybe something as simple as those damn Manning boys, Crimoney I hope it’s the last one.

So Ben is playing hurt, although he’s not making excuses for his play and nobly taking responsibility for the team’s performance, and it’s showing on the stat sheet and win/loss column. The running game is stagnating horribly, and now Deshea’s out injured depleting a weakened secondary.

So with all this seemingly bad luck, what do many feel is the team’s biggest problem? Bruce Arians. I have maintained, and continue to, that while Arians is not a great offensive coordinator, he’s not killing the team. Luckily, I’m not the only one who feels this way, as evidenced by this great article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

In my opinion, if Steeler fans really want to call a coach into question, how about questioning offensive line coach Larry Zierlein. What exactly is he teaching those guys?

To add to the growing fervor and frustration of the team’s current fortunes, I saw some douche bag on a message board who stated that Tomlin faced his successor a few weeks ago and he thinks the Steelers will be coached in 2009 by Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo. First, yeah right. Second, do you know the Rooney family at all? Cowher had three successive losing seasons and they gave him a contract extension. You think Tomlin is going to be canned? He could lose every remaining game and they’d keep him. Third, you really think Dan and Art II are dumb enough to give up after two years on a man many inside and outside the league continually call the best young coach in the NFL? If they did, then I would be positive somehow the delusional disease currently afflicting Al Davis had spread to Pittsburgh.

Let’s all calm down. Keep these things in mind. The Steelers are 6-3 despite serious injuries and lost playing time or even a lost season from Ben Roethlisberger, Willie Parker, Marvel Smith, Heath Miller, LaMarr Woodley, Deshea Townsend, Bryant McFadden, Rashard Mendenhall, Kendall Simmons, Daniel Sepulveda, Greg Warren, Casey Hampton, Brett Keisel and a few others. These players are significant in the success of the team, and without them in the lineup; it impacts how well the team performs.

And they’ve amassed this record while playing the most difficult schedule in the NFL. If you ask me, that’s not bad. And on more positive notes, we’ve played most of the NFC East, the schedule gets a touch lighter, and people who have not been lost for the season are beginning to come back starting this week. One win will be the salve to make everyone forget the woes of the Steelers.


NFL The Alternative Universe

The Favres signed Ty Law to go up against the Patriots. Will they cut him next week?

Tom Brady has returned to Foxboro to begin his rehab with the team. It’s like a Christmas miracle!

The NFL announced this week that they will drop prices for playoff tickets this year. Smart move, as most people no longer have houses to mortgage in order to pay for playoff tickets.

Bankruptcy attorneys working for Michael Vick have outlined a plan for the disgraced former quarterback to pay back his debts. The plan is contingent on Vick returning one day to the NFL. Vick’s attorneys have stated that Vick does expect to be reinstated and procure employment. I was going to scoff at that belief, but something tells me Al Davis would probably sign him. By the time Vick could return he’d probably be bored with JaMarcus Russell and fired three coaches, so I’d say it’s possible.

Speaking of the Raiders, they lost another high profile free agent acquisition this week. Highly overpaid receiver Javon Walker will miss the remainder of the season due to needed ankle surgery. How will Oakland replace his production? I mean this season he has exploded in Oakland’s vertical passing game with 15 receptions for 196 yards and a whole touchdown. They’ll never survive this blow.

Why does the NFL Network only replay Steelers games when they lose? Seriously, can someone give me an answer on this?


He Said He Said

"They took our bye week, so we had to come out there and show 'em that they can throw obstacles at us and we'll just try to overcome them." -- Willis McGahee, RB, Ravens

So, is the they he’s referring to the NFL, Houston, the Texans, the hurricane that caused the damage and destruction or God?

"I called Joe Gibbs a coward for leaving. You came in, you made some money for your NASCAR team. No one else is going to say that. I'm sure more people thought I was a [jerk] for saying that. Joe wouldn't call me because he knows. There are a lot of people who know the truth about what went down with me and the Redskins." – Former Redskin LaVar Arrington

That’s some big talk from a man who couldn’t beg for a job now. Think he might be a tad bitter that Joe didn’t care for him much as a player?


Idiot of the week

No argument, no discussion, no competition. The winner this week was cut, dried and locked up before the early games were even completed. This week the honor goes to frequent winner Joe Buck.

During last weeks Packers/Vikings game, Buck and Aikman were commenting on the large number of Packer faithful present in Minnesota. Buck, then revealing his painful stupidity, stated that he does not know of any team whose fans travel as well as the Green Bay Packers in any sport. Really Joe? Never covered an away game for the Steelers? Ever watch an away game for the Steelers? What a ding bat. And now Joe, for the umpteenth time, you are an idiot.


Taking the Week Off

No one. Not one team is taking this week all. We have a full 16 game slate of action this weekend and every weekend until the season comes to its inevitable, and sad, conclusion. Wait, I just cannot think about that right now. Must think positive, there’s still time now!


On Tap This Week

Not a bad week actually.

Last week 10-4
Season to date 89-63

Except the cat who won the poll went 14-0. Astounding. Hmmm, maybe I can go 16-0 this week.


Thursday

New York Favres (6-3) at New England (6-3)

Yeah, I picked the Pats. And here’s what I say. An overrated New York pass defense, Alan Faneca’s manly mustache, Favre in HD, once again the prevent defense prevents nothing, and the NFL really REALLY wanted Favre to win the game. Really, the Patriots, one of the most disciplined teams in the NFL commits two straight defensive holding penalties in their own red zone? Smells like something is rotten in Denmark. So much for 16-0.

Patriots over Favres


Sunday

Denver (5-4) at Atlanta (6-3)

Forget it; I will not trust Denver again. Jason Elam looks like he jumped ship just in time.

Falcons over Broncos


New Orleans (4-5) at Kansas City (1-8)

So apparently KC is playing some good ball, huh? Tyler Thigpen is working out decently huh? Then why are they 1-8? Oh, because they suck.

Saints over Chiefs


Baltimore (6-3) at New York Giants (8-1)

Joe Flacco, meet tenacious pass rush, tenacious pass rush, meet rookie quarterback. Now that they start playing the NFC East teams, watch how fast that feel good story Baltimore is writing unravels.

Giants over Ravens


Minnesota (5-4) at Tampa Bay (6-3)

A little gumption and a luckily missed field goal got the Vikings a big win last week. But will it work on the road against a solid team? I say nooooo.

Buccaneers over Vikings


Oakland (2-7) at Miami (5-4)

Bah, ha ha ha ha. Go Joey.

Dolphins over Raiders


Detroit (0-9) at Carolina (7-2)

Come on Detroit, you can achieve greatness through ineptitude. And now Carolina is 8-2.

Panthers over Lions


Philadelphia (5-4) at Cincinnati (1-8)

Even Andy Reid cannot screw this one up. Maybe.

Eagles over Bungles


Chicago (5-4) at Green Bay (4-5)

Hmmm, a toughie on the surface, since neither team has been staggeringly good or bad and division games are always tough. But I have a feeling about the Packers. Rodgers is doing well in spite of McCarthy.

Packers over Bears


Houston (3-6) at Indianapolis (5-4)

Well, if the Colts are really back into fighting shape, this should not be a problem.

Colts over Texans


St. Louis (2-7) at San Francisco (2-7)

It’s the crap game of the week! This is what they show to prisoners when they want to break them. Sigh, I suppose someone has to win.

49ers over Rams


Arizona (6-3) at Seattle (2-7)

If I told you years ago there would come a time when Arizona had a 4 game lead over every other team in their division, and that division included the Rams and 49ers, would you have just laughed at me or had me committed? Committed would have been the appropriate action.

Cardinals over Seahawks


Tennessee (9-0) at Jacksonville (4-5)

Tough division game between tough opponents, but Jacksonville is just too depleted and Tennessee is rolling.

Titans over Jaguars


San Diego (4-5) at Pittsburgh (6-3)

Yeah, our Swiss cheese secondary probably looks pretty good to Phillip Rivers right now. But he’ll never be able to exploit it running for his life from Harrison and Woodley.

Steelers over Chargers


Dallas (5-4) at Washington (6-3)

Dysfunction junction, what’s your function? Signing head cases and watching them go nuts. Dysfunction junction, what’s your function? Hiring milquetoast coaches and watching them blow playoff chances. Remember Jerry Jones, you built this team all by yourself, so enjoy!

Redskins over Cowboys


Monday

Cleveland (3-6) at Buffalo (5-4)

Whew, what a tough week to pick. I give up. Hey, just like Cleveland!

Bills over Browns