The Crystal Ball 2008 Week 16

Remember a few weeks ago I said that Pittsburgh is the Rodney Dangerfield of NFL teams right now? Well, it’s worse than just getting no respect. So they come up big with yet another tough win against a good team, and one would think that finally, someone would say something nice about what they’ve done so far this season. You know, amassing an 11-3 record against the toughest schedule in the league with each game being a playoff caliber game, and doing this week in and week out with an offensive line with 4 different starters than last year a rash of injuries and a punting problem reaching epic proportions.

No, everyone just focused on the touchdown catch and whether it counted. And when people weren’t losing their minds over that, they had to qualify every positive comment with some sort of caveat. They haven’t been beating good teams by getting the job done, they’re lucky. Yes, luck does play a part in any game, but it usually comes to those who are prepared.

But the verbal slights and arguments over a touchdown do not compare to these two insult beauties. First, only three Steelers were selected to the Pro Bowl. Three. They have the best defense in the NFL and two legitimate candidates for MVP, but only three players overall were selected. The Ravens have five; the Titans are sending six, and the Jets, who are collapsing faster than a flan, have seven headed for Hawaii.

And two, I found this factoid in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette. Has anyone realized that despite the most fearsome defense in the league racking up sacks like collecting troll dolls, Steelers opponents have not been called for offensive holding since November 3rd? Can you honestly tell me that none of those teams during that time period, which include the Colts, Chargers, Bengals, Patriots, Cowboys and Ravens, have never once had to resort to holding to keep Harrison and Company at bay? I know at least three of those teams are a mess and poorly disciplined in the basics of football. And Harrison was conspicuously absent against the Ravens, despite no less than three replays that I saw that showed him being held. Yet, oddly enough, no official threw a flag.

No respect? That’s minor; this seems more like a slap in the face.


Opening Kickoff

The Detroit Lions became the first team to amass a 0-14 record since the NFL moved to a 16 game regular season. The 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers remain in wait for an opportunity to pop their champagne corks.


Recap

So does Favre send Christmas presents to his defense, J.P. Losman or both this week?

I’m sorry, but while everyone else is falling all over themselves congratulating Andy Reid and Donavan McNabb, I have to say the Eagles are overrated. They beat an overmatched and over hyped Cardinals team and then smacked a reeling Giants team. They followed these achievements by running over the collapsing Browns, but McNabb still got picked off twice by their crappy secondary. If they make the playoffs, they’ll get bounced fast. Trust me on this; they are surging by playing terrible or folding competition.

I am one who loathes saying anything nice about the Patriots, for a multitude of reasons, but I would like to send condolences to Matt Cassel. Earlier last week Cassel’s father passed away, and he was able to come back and play a big game to keep the Patriots playoff hopes alive. Good luck Matt, it’s tough to lose a loved one and I hope you are doing well coping.

Condolences also go out to the Baugh family, who lost their patriarch Sammy Baugh this week. Slingin’ Sammy Baugh was one of the members of the very first Hall of Fame class and one of the individuals who helped evolve football to the game we know it today. Baugh’s propensity and ability pushed forward NFL offenses and helped turned passing from a desperation move to a vital part of the game plan. Baugh was a fine athlete and a versatile football player who also excelled as a defensive back and a punter. Here’s hoping his family can find some peace at this difficult time.

Chiefs President and GM Carl Peterson resigned this week, effective at the end of the season. And now Herm Edwards is contemplating leaving as well. See Kansas City, there is a Santa Claus.

If Clinton Portis is going to bitch about his coach and the lack of a running game, he had better produce on Sundays when he gets the ball. Nice drop of a perfectly good screen pass Clinton.

Did you know that Ben Roethlisberger has 50 wins for his career, the most by any quarterback in the first 5 years of his career in NFL History? To show you how impressive this is Donavan McNabb last week notched his 80th career win. This is McNabb’s 10th season.

The game was also the 17th win by the Steelers when tied or trailing in the 4th quarter with Roethlisberger under center. Hmmm, perhaps wearing that number 7 has some magical late game properties to it?

Dick Jauron, what are you thinking? Your running game was fine all you had to do was salt the game away with Lynch. Why the deuce was Losman even allowed near the ball other than to hand it to Marshawn?

Jim Haslett has enough problems with this crappy Rams team. Tell me why he thinks it’s a good idea try a wildcat play that sends his quarterback downfield as a receiver, thus exposing him to a hit and potential injury? And don’t tell me their desperate to win, they showed long ago the only thing the Rams are desperate for, other than not being shut out, is for the end of week 17.

I maintain that fortune favors the bold. And Jeff Fisher showed his boldness by going for it on 4th and 3 instead of attempting the field goal. Now I found his reasoning sound, but why would you put the ball on a fade pass instead of giving it to one of your uber running backs and pounding into the Texans? You had a sound decision but poor execution, Jeff.

Now why would Joey Porter pull his helmet off like that, drawing a penalty and risking losing the game and blowing the Fins playoff chances? Oh, right, because he loves the attention. I should have known that one.


The Steel Pit

Hmmm, how about that bounty on Hines Ward? Let’s see how well it worked. Hines finished the game with 8 receptions for 107, his third 100 yard game this season, including 3 huge catches on the final drive. He also moved past 10,000 receiving yards for his career with this game. Perhaps the Ravens should put a bounty on their mouths, since they’re constantly running with no repercussions.

What a tough, physical and gritty game played by both teams. But cream does tend to rise to the top, and that cream was a masterful 92 yard drive to close the game with touchdown by Pittsburgh and the defense finishing off the Ravens last second desperation drive with a beautiful interception by William Gay.

But is that what we heard all week? No, all everyone could talk about was the touchdown. Did Holmes have it in the end zone or not? Did the ball cross the plane or not? Did he have proper possession or not? I’ve heard arguments from all sides; that it looked inconclusive and no one could tell. That the officials should not have overturned the call on the field as no video replay showed conclusive evidence. I read a great article that stated the officials did the right thing by overturning the call on the field and made the correct call despite a hostile environment. Plus no less than 4 different writers I’ve perused this week brought up the argument of having all balls chipped and sensors over the goal line to know with indisputable evidence whether the ball crosses the plane.

Ok, I’ll admit that there were plenty of questions surrounding the catch. But if Baltimore were a better team, they would have never been in that position to begin with.

Unfortunately no one is focusing on the most important fact. The Steelers have overcome serious injuries especially along the offensive line and are 11-3 and in position to take the #1 seed in the NFL with the most difficult schedule in the league. But I’m harping now. Let’s savor the victory for the moment, the first for Pittsburgh in Baltimore since 2002, and take a look back at the good, the bad, the ugly and the just plain awful that was Pittsburgh at Baltimore.

Fast talking Willie Parker was named a captain for the game. It would seem with Tomlin, bygones really are bygones.

It’s a shame that a ball off the uprights is a dead ball. Otherwise that would have been a cool interception by Timmons.

Seriously, nobody has Chris Gardocki’s number?

I made a note that the running defense looked weak, so I checked after the game and saw they held the Ravens offense to 90 yards rushing and 202 total yards. Shows what I know.

Willie Colon gets the six shooter award for the game, as he was the one player who led the charge for the offense in shooting themselves in the foot. Colon was responsible for a holding penalty and a false start. And don’t get me started on the delay of game penalty.

Speaking of which, I’m beginning to think that Big Ben plays a game with himself, and that game is how close can I get to zero on the play clock without drawing a delay of game penalty. I wish he’d play the game get the play off without having 95% of Steeler fans screaming “CLOCK CLOCK CLOCK” for three straight hours.

Nate Washington is coming along nicely, although I think he still needs to work on his hands. Perhaps he should get a manicure with Hines one week, just to see if it helps.

So on a 3rd and 1, CBS flashed the stat that Pittsburgh converts 3rd and 1 only 43.5% of the time, the worst percentage in the NFL. What happens next? Big Ben tries a keeper, fumbles and its Ravens ball. Sometimes I swear if it weren’t for stress balls…..

Fox and Bailey are making their bones on special teams. And it’s paying off, who’s the team’s rookie of the year? Bailey, that’s who.

I scoffed when Jim Nantz said that Pittsburgh had a big game next week against the Titans. Jim, every Pittsburgh game is a big game. Have you seen the schedule? We’ve been playing playoff games for weeks now.

Santonio Holmes was having such a bad game I thought perhaps he got a bad batch of brownies. That is until that sweet touchdown catch.

Boy Mike Tomlin has a big grin and is not afraid to break it out. He must have learned that from Hines.

The weirdest part of the game was easily the personal foul on Jeff Reed on the point after attempt. First off, I howled because how often does a kicker get a personal foul? But I kept wondering why he incurred the penalty as they showed no replay. Then I found out the story. It would seem Raven Frank Walker dove, trying to take out Reed’s legs. Reed took obvious exception, Mitch Berger came over to separate them, and Walker spit in Berger’s face. Reed then shoved Walker and boom, 15 yard penalty. And you wonder why I take glee in pounding the Ravens.


NFL The Alternative Universe

Man, Ed Hochuli is not having his best season. First the admitted screw up in the Chargers/Broncos game. Then the cold weather sets in and he’s forced to keep those big pythons covered. And let’s be honest, that hurts all of us. But the worst happened during last week’s Seahawks/Rams game. Yes, just having to officiate that train wreck was punishment in and of itself. But the real embarrassment came when he pulled a groin muscle during the game, and then having the details of said injury broadcast through the PA when his microphone was accidently left on several times. Ed, at least no one saw your junk.

Bills head coach Dick Jauron anticipates returning next season to coach the Bills. Yeah, and I anticipate winning the lottery in the next three months but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.

In the latest news from Purgatory, also known as Raider Land, interim coach Tom Cable blasted now former assistant James Cregg for leaving the team and taking a job on Lane Kiffin’s staff at Tennessee. Cable felt it was wrong for Cregg to quit on the team and organization. Ok, that’s such a ridiculous statement, because Javon Walker quit on the team the minute he signed his contract. Why not call him out? When reached for comment, Al Davis mulled over firing Kiffin and then ordered the release of the hounds.

Remember last week when I showed my surprise at how Bungle fans were organized about getting the current regime ousted? Ha! They’ve got nothing on these desperate Browns fans. I guess they would be fine with losing numerous AFC Championship games. Well, when you haven’t seen one since Bernie Kosar took snaps, anything is better than the Romeo Crennel show.

49er quarterback Alex Smith said this week he would like to stay with the team next season. He would like another chance, and has said his relationship with former head coach Mike Nolan was tumultuous and did not lead to success for him or the team. Smith even said he’d restructure his contract and take a pay cut to stay. Man, he’s a glutton for punishment.

Wasn’t the little fluff piece where Eli and Tiki made nice so cute on SNF? It just warmed the cockles of one’s heart during this holiday season. Or perhaps that was the wings I ate at the beginning of the Steelers game coming back up on me.

If I had not seen them in Dallas Saturday night, I would have believed the NFL Network Postgame crew was probably still sitting in Jacksonville lionizing Peyton Manning. From their fawning I ascertained they were either trying to pump up the Peyton for MVP campaign or Manning cured cancer with his 17 straight completions.


Upon Further Review

One of the more enjoyable side notes to football is the player radio and television shows. You know these shows, produced by the local radio and television starring a popular player of a team, usually accompanied by a professional broadcaster. During the show they review the previous week’s game and look forward to next week. Sometimes they include some sort of wacky antic, always filled with some goofy fun. Pick any headline player for any team, and I’m sure you will find them with their own TV or radio show, sometimes both.

I bring this up because the Lady K and I had the pleasure of attending the taping of The Hines Ward Show this week. Now, obviously I’m a homer and would find enjoyment with anything Steeler related. That being said, what a good time!

We had seen the show before, and were familiar with its flow. The host starts the show, introduces Hines, they talk about last week, Hines brings out a teammate, they talk more, they play a goofy quiz game, talk about next week, show a video segment where Hines asks teammates in the locker room some absurd question, a cooking segment and then the kicker. Simple stuff packaged into a half hour format. But as with anything in life, it’s the little things that make it enjoyable.

First, Hines is great. With his 100,000 watt smile and friendly personality, he makes the show. He tells a good story, and is not worried about looking foolish. He has fun, even if it can be embarrassing to him, and loves to entertain. Often times Hines would continue speaking of a story he talked about on air during commercial breaks. He asked questions of the audience and signed autographs without question. Watching him you just felt like if you stripped away his job and wealth, he’d be a great guy to hang out with.

But it’s all of the other stuff too. The teammate he invites onto the show, they always have great camaraderie. The quiz segment, which is very loosely judged and always has at least one questionable call go in Hines’ favor, always followed by the statement “well it is the Hines Ward Show” and then peals of laughter. Weekly contest winners get to sit in the front row and receive an autographed bottle of Heinz ketchup. It’s so ridiculous you just have to laugh, and hope next week you win so you can get that prized bottle. The off center woman who hosts the cooking segment, she seems to have a few screws loose, but she’s great fun. And of course seeing Hines and his guests in ketchup red aprons as they whip up a dish is always funny, add in the Heinz chef’s hat Hines dons, and then we’ve achieved high comedy.

For as serious as the NFL likes to portray itself, and more than a few media outlets are happy to oblige, it’s nice to see some absurdity and good fun still exist in the NFL universe. If a player on your favorite team has a show like this, don’t just watch, go to a taping. It’s more enjoyable to soak it in live than on tape. Just go and revel in the wacky fun that can still be had with the NFL. Trust me, you will not regret it. And if you do and find some really crazy fun, send them in to us here; we’d love to hear about them.


He Said He Said

“I'd be shocked if Reid and offensive coordinator Marty Mornhinweg go back to throwing it 65 or 70 percent of the time. Ever. And certainly not tonight against a team they ought to be able to beat into submission.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Prepare to be shocked.


"That would be nice, have everything come through our home field would be real nice. I don't like flying much." – Steelers DE Aaron Smith

I like flying Aaron, but I can’t afford to follow you cats all over this year. So home games would be sweet.


"I didn't know a little 6-foot, 200-pound wideout, 32 years old, is causing so much of an uproar in Baltimore." – Steelers WR Hines Ward

Hee hee, yes you did and you love it.


“Things happened early in my career. There’s something that drives all of us who have been in this game for a long time. For me, a lot of it is trying to atone for those things so that they’re not my legacy.” – Titans QB Kerry Collins

Having peripherally known Kerry at Penn State, although I doubt he’d remember a little guy like me, I’m glad to see him not only make his life better but also have a resurgence of professional success. Well, except for this week and perhaps once in the playoffs.


I think it was a lack of professionalism on Ed Werder's behalf, just to come up with some of that stuff. Honestly I don't know where none of this stuff came from." – Cowboys WR Terrell Owens speaking of reports regarding a rift between him, Tony Romo and Jason Witten.

Uh, oh I know TO. He came up with it by doing investigative reporting and found out information from your locker room about how big of an ass you are.


“Build an entire season on the kind of razor's edge victory the Pittsburgh Steelers have specialized in these past four months, and, well, you start to think you might be special enough to ride the wave all the way to that big confetti shower at the Super Bowl.” – SI.com’s Don Banks

Don, NO! Let’s keep all that team of destiny stuff under wraps until say February 1st, ok?


“If I had to vote right now, I’d vote for James Harrison. He’s just been phenomenal in anchoring a defense that’s playing as well as anyone in the league and he does so many things for them.” – Colts Head Coach Tony Dungy when asked who he would vote for regarding the NFL MVP award.

Now if a defensive minded man like Dungy, who played for the Steel Curtain, would recommend Harrison over his own quarterback what does that tell you?


Idiot of the week

Ok, honestly I thought about giving this week’s award to Terrell Owens for the whole Werder said but I never said nonsense. But truthfully, I’m tired of TO. Well, except when he puts on the petulant child routine at the end of a Cowboy’s loss.

No, this week the award goes to Buccaneer defensive end Greg White. White, following in the hallowed footsteps of Chad Ocho Cinco, legally changed his name to Stylez G. White. White said he chose the name from the character of Rupert “Stiles” Stilinski, the side kick in the cinematic masterpiece Teen Wolf.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love when people show their wacky side. And I even love when people take said side so far as to make total fools of themselves. Hey, I’ve been crowing for months to Free Ocho Cinco. No, these are not why Stylez G gets the prize.

Why he gets it is because he chose a moronic name from a dumb character in a sub par throw away 80’s movie, and then told everyone about it. Seriously, if you want change your name to that of some off beat 80’s character, why not Chet from Weird Science, Long Duk Dong from Sixteen Candles, Chunk from The Goonies or Turbo from Breakin 2 Electric Boogaloo? Or you could go totally 80’s and just change your name to Zabka. Yeah!

So for picking a dumb new name, and for even dumber reasons, and missing out on an ideal opportunity to pave the way for future Zabkas, Stylez G you are an idiot.


On Tap This Week

We’ll settle a bunch of playoff spots this week. Hopefully, my late season push and send me to the money playoffs.

Last week 12-4
Season to date 144 – 88

That’s the way to go. And what’s even better, this week we get 4 days of football! Welcome back Saturday night game!


Thursday

Indianapolis (10-4) at Jacksonville (5-9)

Ok, so I watched Peyton and company, I wanted to see the team no one will want to play in the playoffs. Why should any playoff team be scared? If Jacksonville had a better defense and a smarter coach, that game would not have been close. The only thing keeping that team, its questionable running game and porous defense afloat is Peyton Manning. And we all know he can be rattled.

Colts over Jaguars


Saturday

Baltimore (9-5) at Dallas (9-5)

I think Ray Ray and company will be super pissed enough to go into Big D and embarrass the insane asylum known as the 2008 Cowboys in front of their fans and all those former Cowboys in the last regular season game in Texas Stadium history. And considering how the Cowboys are crapping out, probably the last one ever.

Ravens over Cowboys


Sunday

Cincinnati (2-11-1) at Cleveland (4-10)

Who sucks worse? Hmmm, that’s a tough one. I’m gonna go with……

Browns over Bungles


Pittsburgh (11-3) at Tennessee (12-2)

Wow, this game could decide the number one seed in the AFC. Who saw this coming? And with Albert Haynesworth out with a sprained knee, Willie Parker might just get his wish for more running action.

Steelers over Titans


San Francisco (5-9) at St. Louis (2-12)

Well, at least Singletary won’t have to do something wacky to inspire a win this week.

49ers over Rams


San Diego (6-8) at Tampa Bay (9-5)

Norv Turner takes another bold step toward the unemployment line.

Buccaneers over Chargers


New Orleans (7-7) at Detroit (0-14)

Drew Brees needs 753 yards passing to pass Dan Marino’s single season yardage record. With nothing left to play for this season, I wonder if Sean Payton will just air it out all day long. I bet he does, as who doesn’t enjoy Marino send congratulations through gritted teeth to the latest person to break one of his records.

Saints over Lions


Miami (9-5) at Kansas City (2-12)

I read that this will be Miami’s first true cold weather game this season. I’d say that would work against a warm weather team, but they are playing the Chiefs who cannot even beat the underachieving Chargers after posting a 17-0 lead.

Dolphins over Chiefs


Arizona (8-7) at New England (9-5)

Hmmm, Arizona’s passing game in the wintry mix that is New England in late December. Plaxico Burress has a better chance of getting into another night club in sweat pants than Warner has.

Patriots over Cardinals


Buffalo (6-8) at Denver (8-6)

Buffalo has a better defense, no doubt. So I wonder how Jauron will blow the game this week. Oh, the intrigue is almost palpable.

Broncos over Bills


New York Favres (9-5) at Seattle (3-11)

I went back and forth on this one, as the Jets are fighting for the division and the playoffs, and Seattle has been less than stellar this season. But two things keep creeping into my mind. One, Seattle has shown some fight despite being undermanned and outgunned. And two, it will be cold and snowy, and we’ve seen how Favre performs in those conditions as of late. Not that he's been performing well lately in general. And I bet Holmgren has something left in store for his old protégé. Let’s take a chance here…

Seahawks over Favres


Houston (7-7) at Oakland (3-11)

Al Davis will spend the game wondering why the Oilers changed their uniforms and name then figure it’s probably Pete Rozelle’s fault and take a nap. Ahhh, commitment to excellence.

Texans over Raiders


Atlanta (9-5) at Minnesota (9-5)

Tarvaris Jackson did some nice work last week, enough to get the starting nod this week. That’s right Childress; create a quarterback controversy when trying to fight for a division title.

Falcons over Vikings


Philadelphia (8-5-1) at Washington (7-7)

At least Philly didn’t outright lose to the Bungles. If you can call that justification for making a pick, with these two it’s all I’ve got.

Eagles over Redskins


Carolina (11-3) at New York Giants (11-3)

Holy moly, this game is for the top seed in the NFC. That’s two games this weekend with the overall conference seeding hanging in the balance. Oh, our football cup runneth over. And I think after today, there will be two new top dogs in each conference.

Panthers over Giants


Monday

Green Bay (5-9) at Chicago (8-6)

Ugh, I feel bad for Packer fans. I just hope they know where to place the blame, firmly on Ted Thompson and the underachieving defense and not Aaron Rodgers. Go Neck Beard.

Bears over Packers