The Crystal Ball 2008 Week 8

The Lady K and I have successfully completed our treatment for DFS. Our relocation from Los Angeles to Pittsburgh is now complete, and we’re ensconced in a beautiful neighborhood in the Burgh! We go for our graduation ceremony on Sunday, watching our beloved Steelers take on the World Champion Giants in Heinz Field! Thank you Peyton and Eli for letting us know of this debilitating condition so we could seek treatment before it became too late.


Opening Kickoff

October is national adopt a dog month. I highly recommend going out to your local shelter and adopting a dog. Trust me, the chance you give a furry four legged friend will be paid back in spades with years of love and companionship.


Recap

The Bills/Chargers game started with no power, thanks to three helium balloons that became entangled in power lines near Ralph Wilson Stadium. If only they could do that for Lion and Bungle games.

Everyone always talks about the NFL being a copy cat league, but Lee Evans catching a touchdown pass with his helmet? David Tyree should sue for copyright infringement.

Peyton Manning threw two interceptions, each returned for a touchdown in the Colts loss to Green Bay. I think Peyton’s troubles come from a lack of Tom Brady. Perhaps he was the Joker to Peyton’s Batman, each powerful, but nothing without the other.

Is Romo that important to the Cowboys, Brad Johnson that bad or Dallas just that much of a dysfunctional mess? I’ll go with door number three.

Was that the Bears and Vikings playing or an old AFL game being rebroadcast?

Kudos to Jim Zorn on another big win for the Redskins, and I know it’s your first year as a head coach but here’s a tip. Icing the kicker rarely works.

Thank goodness Ike Hilliard was not seriously injured on a frightening looking collision in the Bucs/Seahawks contest. Here’s what I want to know, if the NFL is serious about cutting down on injuries, as they say they are every time they issue a fine for unnecessary roughness, then why were the defenders not even flagged on that play, as it was helmet to helmet contact? The official was right there, and both defenders should have been flagged, and possibly tossed from the game. Come on Goodell, if you are serious about this, lets see the proof on the field, not in the fines.

Speaking of injury, Reggie Bush injured his knee in Sunday’s game, keeping the multi-purpose back out 3-4 games. As the Saints are having a whale of time finding consistency, this will not help one iota.


The Steel Pit

Do we really need to recap this one? The Steelers went out, took their time and predictably stomped a mud hole into the Bungles. A few notable items did come from the game, though.

The Good – wide receiver Hines Ward showed why he’s the fiercest receiver in the game when he laid a wicked block on Bungle linebacker Keith Rivers. The block was great, the results not so much as the hit broke Rivers jaw and he will be out the remainder of the season. Now that’s a football player kids.

The Bad – cornerback Bryant McFadden broke his forearm during the game, and will be out at least five games. Deshea Townsend will start in his absence.

The Ugly – During the same play, safety Troy Polamalu sustained a concussion when his helmet flew off during a collision. This is Troy’s seventh reported concussion since high school and could put his career in jeopardy. Concussions are cumulative and Troy has already had more than his fair share.

The rest of the week in Steeler Nation was a whirlwind of nonsense and insanity that we’ll examine below.

The plus side for the team as they go into their big showdown with the Giants this week is that Casey Hampton will be returning from injury and ready to go. The bad side, Willie Parker is doubtful for the game and Santonio Holmes is inactive for his extracurricular activities.


NFL The Alternative Universe

Jacksonville police have charged a man in the shooting of former Jaguar Richard Collier. Excellent work men, now if we could just figure out why people want to hurt others for no apparent reason, we’ll be getting somewhere special.

Kansas City Chief douche bag Larry Johnson is now being investigated for spitting in a woman’s face at a nightclub, his fourth accusation of assaulting a woman in five years. Sorry, no joke here, this guy is a jerk extraordinaire and needs a few good smacks upside the head.

In the karma is a bitch department, the Patriots suffered another blow with running back Lawrence Maroney being placed on injured reserve due to a shoulder injury. Awwww, that’s a shame.

Continuing in the same vein, there were reports that the Patriots were unhappy with Tom Brady’s situation. The situation is that Brady has had yet another surgery on his knee to fight an infection, which is not uncommon. The rub comes from the reports that the Patriots were unhappy with Brady’s decision to go with his own doctors as opposed to team selected physicians. The Patriots, of course, denied this. It is to laugh, ha ha, hee hee, ho ho.

The 49ers canned coach Mike Nolan, making Nolan the third coach sent packing this season and the second from the Bay area. Welcome to northern California, the Bermuda Triangle of NFL coaches.

On a plus side from this situation, former NFL great and Hall of Famer Mike Singletary will take over as the interim head coach of the 49ers. Good luck to Mike, a fabulous player with a fantastic football mind. It’s a shame you probably don’t have enough in the cupboards there to do anything with, but I bet you get a few wins, and hopefully a long term chance.

Retired quarterback Daunte Culpepper has rethought his decision to call it a career, stating that there are a few teams interested in his services. Considering how quarterbacks and players in general, are falling faster than dominoes, I’m not surprised by Culpepper’s decision. I am surprised it took this long for him to generate interest, though.

A class action lawsuit on behalf of over 2,000 former NFL players was put forth this week against the NFL Players Association. The suit accuses the NFLPA of cheating former players out of royalties from various sports products, specifically video games, in order to give current players a bigger slice of said royalties. The former players smoking gun comes in the form of a 2001 letter from an NFLPA executive to EA Sports, makers of the Madden NFL game, telling them to scramble likenesses of former players or the NFLPA would have to pay them. Every time you turn around, it seems the NFL really does take an out of sight out of mind approach to former players.

In what might be the oddest and definitely one of the most fascinating stories all week and perhaps all season, foxsports.com reported Sunday that Brett Favre called Lions coaches before their September 14th game against the Packers to give them information that could help them defeat Green Bay. Of course Favre issued the predictable denial, but there seems to be too much smoke around this one for there to be no fire. Really Brett, did Green Bay really treat you that poorly that you would go out of your way to try to sabotage them? Last year it was Spy Gate, this year, Favre Gate. I’m sure we’ll have more on this in the coming weeks, if for no reason than it involves the great BRETT FAVRE and goodness knows we cannot have enough coverage of him.

Anyone watch the Fox pregame show last week? Did you see Michael Strahan show off his oddly deformed pinky finger that became that way from years of playing football? Did anyone else wonder who has the worst deformed finger, Strahan or Brian Baldinger?

Speaking of Baldinger, was I high, drunk or both or did I really see Baldinger doing yoga on a segment during NFC Playbook? Good gravy I hope I was drunk because if I wasn't, that's gotta be one of the seven signs of the apolcalypse.

Stating the jersey costs involved, Chad Ocho Cinco will keep his old name, Chad Johnson, for the remainder of this season and go to Ocho Cinco on his jersey next season. Well, that seals it, the Bungles will go 0-16. Sorry you’ll be losing your job Marvin, but you should have listened to me when I said they’d never win a game until you give Chad his new jersey. FREE OCHO CINCO!


Upon Further Review

So, this week the buzz around Steeler Nation centered on Hines Ward and his physical play. The brouhaha stemmed from three things; Ward’s hit on Keith Rivers, Polamalu’s comments on the league fining players for unnecessary roughness and the Raven’s Terrell Suggs comments regarding a bounty on Steelers players.

The first, Ward’s hit on Keith Rivers, created it’s on nonsense as the NFL backed up what everyone already knew that the hit was clean. But the NFL also stated that the hit would be reviewed by the competition committee in the off season and next season that kind of hit might be deemed illegal in the NFL’s ongoing attempts to keep players safer. Ward took exception to this, saying that the NFL basically said that they think this hit might as well be illegal now. Ward is a tough player, very old school as he likes playing physical, and now the NFL is taking exception to that. If a player cannot hit another, what’s the point? The NFL sells its product based upon wicked hits. If it didn’t would we really have the ESPN segment Jacked Up? So this created tons of press.

Then based upon Polamalu’s previous comments calling the NFL a pansy league, the NFL sent two vice presidents to Pittsburgh to meet with head coach Mike Tomlin, the team captains and Polamalu himself regarding the increasing fines for unnecessary roughness on plays that are not flagged or penalized and excessive play. Obviously the NFL realized quickly that these comments, and the hypocrisy they point out, could turn into a severe PR nightmare and they dispatched personnel to quell the growing unrest. Ray Anderson, the NFL’s executive vice president of football operations who met with the team, stated what they talked about with Troy.

“We wanted him to understand that our interests and emphasis on player safety was genuine, was sincere and it wasn't driven by money or the economics. It wasn't driven by just trying to protect the star players. It was legitimately about player safety.”

Now, I know the NFL has been giving lip service and a media push to ending the carnage that has become the norm in during the NFL season, stating they want to stem the tide of serious injuries to marquee players. Considering they cannot pimp Tom Brady until next season, you figure they might be serious. But I maintain it is nothing more than a load of bull meant to placate those who bemoan the violence in the game today.

Yes, it is a serious issue of how many players become injured each week and each season, and the size and speed of players today has everything to do with it. When guys this strong and this fast start slamming into one another, bad things will happen. But if the NFL was really serious about stemming this disturbing trend, they would be doing much more than issuing meaningless fines. Come on, these guys are millionaires, fining them $10,000 for “unnecessary roughness” is like fining you or I $5.

If they really wanted to make a difference, this is what the NFL offices would really do. First they would make anti concussion helmets, like the Riddell Revolution, mandatory for all players. Second, they would make the penalties for their definition of unnecessary roughness real. They’d fine serious chunks of money, and tie that in to playing time. You play too rough, you sit on the bench. And third, and in my opinion most importantly, they would get some consistency with their policy and their on the field officiating. You really think helmet to helmet hits are too dangerous, then let’s see some penalties called. Every week in every game I see at LEAST one helmet to helmet hit that is never called as a penalty on the perpetrator. Typically it’s more like 3 to 4 a game that never get called. If the NFL is serious about this issue, how about having these infractions called, and the perpetrators tossed for the remainder of the game? How about actually calling penalties on and suspending players who blatantly go out of their way to hit quarterbacks after the throw? I know Shawn Rogers would be missing a few games and paychecks if this were the case. But I digress…

The third issue that ignited a firestorm in Pittsburgh was the comments by Baltimore’s Terrell Suggs. On a syndicated radio show, Suggs stated that the Ravens had a bounty out on Hines Ward and running back Rashard Mendenhall. Mendenhall was lost for the season in a game against Baltimore thanks to a hit from Ray “I’m still not sure how I’m not in prison” Lewis. As if this were not enough, Suggs went on to comment about Hines Ward, stating:

"Hines Ward is definitely a dirty player, a cheap shot artist."

Suggs also stated in his brilliant interview that:

"We definitely like to send our messages to rookie running backs who think they've made it. We did a good a job of sending a message."

Ok, one thing at a time. First let’s start with his Hines comment. Suggs, are you a moron? Wait, don’t answer that. How can you honestly state that Hines is a cheap shot artists when you and your fellow parolees are putting bounties on opposing players? The twisted logic that can differentiate between the two just boggles my mind.

So that brings us to the bounty comments. Knowing how this would fire up an already testy Steeler team, Anderson stated they would be investigating Suggs’ claims aggressively. After these comments, and Mendenhall’s current status, what is there really to investigate except for some serious fines and suspensions?

Suggs tried to clarify himself stating there never was an actual bounty. So, now he’s added liar to the list of adjectives you could use on Suggs. Let’s call that clarification what it is, a man trying to avoid disciplinary action from the NFL, a possible suspension and a fine. I’ll add backtracking coward to the list too.

While all this nonsense is a fun little exercise, and gives Steeler Nation that much more ammunition in which to use in their despising of the Ravens, is it worth the trouble? What will really change here? Suggs will probably pay a bit of scratch, and maybe sit a game or two. Mendenhall is still lost for the season. The league will still continue to be inconsistent and toothless in its efforts to curb the violence in the league and I’m sure at some point Ward and even Polamalu will find themselves on the business end of a fine for unnecessary roughness. In reality the best case scenario from this crap will be it gives Hines and Troy some serious fodder which to use to get fired up each week to go out and destroy opponents. Worst case it’s created a gigantic distraction that could affect them and the team leading up to their big showdown with the Giants this week.

Either way, nothing substantial will change until the NFL gets serious, and makes some serious steps toward changing the way the game is played to avoid serious injuries to all players. And if they succeed in doing that, will the fans still be interested and will the game survive? Is a fear of how the product will change what’s really holding Goodell back from making meaningful strides? Only time will tell.


Idiot of the week

Oh, did we ever have people just begging for this weeks award. Eric Mangini looked like an early winner, with horrible play calling in the Jets loss to Oakland. Eric, yes running Jones was working in overtime, but once the Raiders figured out what you were doing, they stacked the box and short circuited drives. Ever heard of play action, or an option play?

Larry Johnson? Oh, he definitely jumped into the running, but the title of idiot isn’t strong enough for that nimrod.

Perhaps Brett Favre and his antics will capture the prize? Perhaps, but no, his punishment will be being ostrazied from Packer Nation.

The real winner this week is Browns tight end Kellen Winslow. Winslow spent a few days the previous week in the Cleveland Clinic for what turned out to be a staph infection. It was not initially reported per the Browns request, big surprise there since all organizations love to take the Belichick route of underreporting injuries and illnesses.

Winslow however took exception to this and spilled his guts in his post game interview. He told the press he had his second staph infection since being with the team. He stated how he felt like nothing more than a piece of meat to the Browns and how he even considered requesting a trade from the team. Winslow went on to say that he went public because upper management did not inquire of his condition or recovery and that he felt unappreciated by the organization.

Look Kellen, I can understand you not feeling valued, and even questioning an organization that has had an inordinate amount of staph infections over the past few years. It makes me wonder if a hazmat crew is required in the Browns locker room. And yes perhaps you were looking out for the welfare of your teammates, but I doubt that. You’ve behaved in such a way in the past to show you only give a damn about yourself. I mean, going out of your way to say you did not want to be a distraction to the team while creating a huge distraction? Should I really believe you when you say you’re just looking out for your teammates with that kind of behavior? Kellen, in case no one ever told you actions speak louder than words.

And as for this nonsense about the organization looking at you as nothing more than a piece of meat and not appreciating you, give me a break. Are you honestly trying to convince us that you feel you’ve been treated unfairly by the same organization that stood beside you after you lost one season to a broken limb, and another to a motorcycle accident, when riding said motorcycle was prohibited by your contract under the provision of dangerous off the field activities? You feel treated unfairly by the same organization which was justified in asking for a return of bonus money paid you when you broke this contract provision, yet they never did? You feel treated unfairly by this organization which did everything it could to not only get you healthy, but also assist you in becoming a great player? Perhaps you’re right; perhaps you have been treated unfairly. If they treated you fairly, they would have thrown your petulant ass to the curb long ago and sued you for return of monies paid for services not rendered.

For his efforts, the Browns suspended Winslow for one game without pay, leaving the struggling Cleveland offense without a needed weapon. Yep, that’s really thinking of your teammates.

So for throwing an organization that has stood beside you under the bus, calling unneeded attention to your underproductive self, causing a gigantic distraction for your struggling team then bitching and fighting the punishment metted out to you by your team for your actions, Kellen you are an idiot.


Taking the Week Off

Bears – The team will revel in their superb offensive output, and try to get Brian Urlacher to grow a neck beard.

Broncos – Mike Shanahan will fret about Cutler’s hurt hand, and call the Denver Post’s classified department. Wanted: Defensive personnel for struggling NFL team. No experience necessary.

Packers – Mike McCarthy and Ted Thompson will spend the whole weekend cutting Brett Favre out of all of their old pictures and pasting in Aaron Rodgers’ vestige.

Vikings – Brad Childress will give a team lecture on the periodic table in hopes of distracting them from the team’s massive underachievement and the fact that their offense is in the hands of Gus Ferrotte.


On Tap This Week

I came close to being in the running for another week won, but close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Last week 10-4
Season to date 64-38

But with my DFS treated, perhaps that will bring me some luck…


Sunday

Oakland (2-4) at Baltimore (3-3)

Hey, it’s the Prison Bowl! Correctional institutions across the nation rejoice in watching their favorite players, and former and future cell mates, battle it out for the ultimate title of most reformed.

Ravens over Raiders


Arizona (4-2) at Carolina (5-2)

Ummm, I’m going with the west coast to east coast curse here.

Panthers over Cardinals


Tampa Bay (5-2) at Dallas (4-3)

Ok, it seems like a good idea to pick Dallas, as this would be the perfect statement game for them. But they just seem like too much of a mess, and Tampa is actually playing very solid football right now.

Buccaneers over Cowboys


Washington (5-2) at Detroit (0-6)

I’m not picking Detroit until Rod Marinelli has his Dennis Green moment.

Redskins over Lions


Buffalo (5-1) at Miami (2-4)

Did you know this is Buffalo’s first division game this season? Considering for the first time in quite a while, Buffalo has a team that can actually compete for the division title I’d call this delayed satisfaction.

Bills over Dolphins


St. Louis (2-4) at New England (4-2)

Yeah, St. Louis beat up on Dallas last week, but come on. Is that really a good indicator considering that the Cowboys are about two seconds and an eyelash away from being on an episode of Cops for a domestic dispute call?

Patriots over Rams


San Diego (3-4) at New Orleans (3-4)

London Baby! The NFL has trotted out this gimmick again. Yes, I say gimmick, since last season the game last year was nothing but a boring mud slogged slug fest. This is considered a home game for New Orleans, which seems mean considering how few actual home dates they’ve had over the past few years, but I don’t think that makes a difference. So as for who has an edge? You got me.

Chargers over Saints


Kansas City (1-5) at New York Jets (3-3)

Hmmm, the ultra crappy KC team or the totally underachieving Jets, that’s a tough one. I’ll go with the team with the better coach. Wait, they’re both crappy? Nuts.

Jets over Chiefs


Atlanta (4-2) at Philadelphia (3-3)

Atlanta’s on fire, and as everyone has stated Matt Ryan is Philly born and bred. But the Eagles did have a week off, and perhaps Jimmy Johnson will have a blitz scheme or two to throw the hot rookie off balance.

Eagles over Falcons


Cleveland (2-4) at Jacksonville (3-3)

Ok, Jacksonville is weaker this year than in previous years, but they’re still better than the Brownies. Sorry Drew, although I liked your orange tie this Friday on the Price Is Right.

Jaguars over Browns


Cincinnati (0-7) at Houston (2-4)

Any way we can get the power to short circuit on this one?

Texans over Bengals


New York Giants (5-1) at Pittsburgh (5-1)

I have heard plenty of talk and read more than a few articles that state this game could be a Super Bowl preview. Look, I love the fact that everyone recognizes how good the Steelers are despite their injuries and are touting them as a team to beat. But for Pete’s sake stop talking like that people! What are you trying to do, jinx us? Hearing that makes me want to go driving with Santonio Holmes. Oh, and by the way, I know our secondary is banged up, but before you doubters out there start thinking that could hurt Pittsburgh, remember this is the same Giants team that was humiliated in prime time by the Cleveland Browns. Yeah, that’s right the Browns.
Steelers over Giants


Seattle (1-5) at San Francisco (2-5)

I bet Madden wishes he took this week off. Congrats to Mike Singletary on his first NFL win. Yeah, I’m saying now he can beat Seneca Wallace.

49ers over Seahawks


Monday

Indianapolis (3-3) at Tennessee (6-0)

I want to believe in the magic of Peyton. I want to believe they can make some magic again. I want to be able to believe in the age old adage that the team with the better quarterback wins. But after last week, I just can’t.

Titans over Colts

The Crystal Ball 2008 Week 7

Welcome one and all to Week 7 of the 2008 NFL Season! The Lady K and I are almost complete with our treatment for DFS, the full story to come next week before the big Steelers/Giants showdown. But just like teams do not like to look ahead on the schedule, neither do I. So before I give anything away….


Opening Kickoff

Through six weeks, the NFL landscape is being dominated by seasoned quarterbacks. Gus Frerotte, Jeff Garcia, Brett Favre, Kurt Warner and the undefeated Kerry Collins have all taken time as leaders of their offenses. Quite possibly octogenarian Brad Johnson could join their ranks. Now we know why Daunte Culpepper retired, he’s just too young. Vinnie Testaverde, come on down, you could be the next contestant on The Quarterback Is Ripe.


Recap

Hmmm, Neck Beard, why must you tempt and tease me? Did I believe too strongly, or forget to account for karma finally giving suffering Falcon fans a reason to smile?

Remember what I said about the Redskins being the secret beast of the NFC East? Yeah, never mind that. For that matter, can you really buy the argument that the NFC East is the best conference? Not when three of the 4 teams in the division lose to the Rams, Cardinals and Browns.

A cookie goes to Pete Kendall making a heads up play grabbing Jason Campbell’s defected pass. But said cookie is revoked for Kendall attempting to run with it, then subsequently fumbling and leading to a Rams touchdown. And that’s why big guys are typically linemen.

I’m not sure who played a sloppier game in Phoenix, the Cardinals, the Cowboys or the officials. All of them were terrible. I mean, come on Morelli, what was with the conference at the end of the game trying to figure out the penalty? And people gave Big Ed static.

Nick Folk should just walk around from now on calling himself the Iceman. He nailed that kick to propel the Cowboys into overtime after being iced twice. Once by the Cardinals, and once by the referees who decided at the last second to do an “official review” of the already nonsensical previous play.

See kids, that’s why Whiz has spent much time building the Cards into Steelers West, to get that kind of play from players like Sean Morey.

Finally something good about baseball! Thanks to the playoffs Joe Buck was off playing NLCS announcer while Dick Stockton filled his spot in the NFL booth with Troy. Oh, the game was so enjoyable to listen to, not only because Stockton knows his stuff, but Troy didn’t have to dumb down his color commentary. Why can’t we have that every week?

In San Diego during the 3rd quarter after a failed Patriot 4th down attempt at a touchdown, the camera showed Bill Belichick. He had a look I haven’t seen on his face since he coached Cleveland. The “I don’t know what else to do” face.

Oh the poor Patriots, having players drop left and right all night long. I’d feel bad, but….

I’ll give the Pats this bit of advice. Never, ever, under any circumstances, pick up discarded Bungles again. I know Deltha O’Neal seemed like a good idea at the time, but I’m sure now you realize why he was cut. And if he’s not good enough for the ultra crappy Bungles, how could he be good enough for you?

Tom Terrific had two surgeries on his damaged knee, hey just like Peyton! One to repair the damage and one to get rid of an infection. Oh, come on Tom, we know you’re just jealous of Peyton who had two knee surgeries and still started in week 1. It’s ok. I think Brett is jealous too.

I wish I could get a good bead on which Charger team would show up from week to week. The one that looks lackluster and gets creamed as they did in Miami or the juggernaut that steamrolls opponents like the one that took the field against New England. If Norv could give me a signal, it would really help my picks.

For that matter, I’d like some more consistency out of some other Jekyll and Hyde teams, namely Miami, Washington, Denver and Chicago. Just let me know when you’re ebbing into crappiness before each Sunday, and we’ll be cool.

By the way, what was Jay Cutler wearing in his postgame interview, David Byrne’s old coat? And seriously, can’t someone chip in $9.95 and get him a better hair cut? He’s a starting QB for Pete’s sake, not a kicker.

Hey, there’s the Colts! I guess they hadn’t got them all unpacked from the old stadium yet.

Two big things that I noted from the Browns/Giants mess: First I ask of the Browns, how do you commit a false start at home? Six times???

Second, to the Giants, what kind of hurry up offense was that? I know things looked beyond bleak at that point, but at least try. Eli, where did you learn how to drive the team that fast, from Donavan McNabb?

The Browns may or may not have saved their season; that has yet to be determined. But Derek Anderson sure saved his job for a few weeks.

Amazing stats, the Giants had no sacks, no forced turnovers and no opponent punts.

Eli Manning suffered this week from a bruised chest sustained in the game. Which begs the question, with referees and the NFL frightened to death about injuring their marquee quarterbacks and supposedly cracking down on quarterback hits, why the hell has no referee called a roughing the passer penalty on Shaun Rogers? This is the second quarterback I’ve watched him drill and drive into the ground long after the pass was thrown. James Harrison hits a quarterback as the ball is released and let’s up on the tackle, gets penalized and fined. Rogers nails both Roethlisberger and Manning well after the ball is gone and drives both into the turf and nothing happens. Hell, there was an official standing RIGHT THERE when he did it to Eli. Really Goodell? How about some damned consistency here. And you think full time refs would be bad.

The best part of the game though came in at the end, when Tony “please I desperately need a hair intervention” Kornheiser kept harping at Tirico and Jaws about calling out the Giants and their poor time management. Jaws had brought it up, but Kornheiser kept needling him. For a moment, I could have sworn Jaws would take a swing at him. I wouldn’t have objected.


The Steel Pit

With a week off, the Steel Pit has been fairly quiet. But there have been a few things that have kept things interesting.

Team chairman Dan Rooney is opposed to a longer NFL season. Owners have been discussing adding one or two games to the current schedule and pairing down the preseason games accordingly. Rooney is opposed to adding to the schedule, but willing to go to one additional game if the other owners are interested in expanding the season.

Despite a week of rest and healing, several key players are still not ready to go. Casey Hampton practiced lightly, but is expected to sit out another week. Left tackle Marvel Smith sat out all week due to back spasms, and will be replaced by Max Starks on Sunday. Now you know why he was slapped with the transition tag. Jeff Reed should be healed enough from his calf injury for field goals and extra points, but Mitch Berger may be handling kickoff duties as well as punting. Not bad for a guy who didn’t have a team for most of August. And with receiver Dallas Baker still nursing an injury, rookie Limas Sweed will finally get an opportunity to play.

But the weirdest injury related story easily belongs to Willie Parker and the holy field. Parker was healing nicely and looked to be ready to play, until he stepped into a hole in the practice field and tweaked his healing knee. Now Parker will play spectator again while Mewelde Moore continues his impressive relief work.

The best story out of the Burgh this week though came from usually soft spoken Troy Polamalu. Polamalu felt the need to share his opinion regarding the current state of the NFL in the wake of increasing fines on players for hits or contact that is not penalized during games. I’ll let Troy’s words speak for themselves.

"It's becoming more and more flag football, two-hand touch. We've really lost the essence of what real American football is about. They're not really concerned about safety, because people have been doing this for ... quite a few decades. You've got to figure out how to tackle people a new way. ... It's too much."

Polamalu continued on, speaking of such former NFL greats as Dick Butkus, Jack Lambert, Mean Joe Greene, Ronnie Lott and Jack Tatum.

"These guys really went after people. They were that way because the game was physical. Now, they couldn't survive in this type of game. They wouldn't have enough money. They'd be paying fines all the time, and then they'd be suspended for the year after they do it two games in a row. It's kind of ridiculous."

"It's just the essence of what NFL football is. You don't want to get into a sport that loses the core mentality. It's like playing basketball and, 'Oh, you can't body somebody up. You can't touch them. You can only play defense from a foot out.' It takes away from the real athleticism of the sport. ... football loses its identity. I didn't mean being cheap, but (those who) don't take anything from anybody. Know what I mean? Joe Greene wouldn't take anything from anybody. Joey Porter wouldn't. When people came to our field, they knew this was our home field. Nobody was going to mess with us. ... That's the type of attitude I think is really awesome."

Hear hear Troy! Hines Ward, who has drawn such fines recently, said he will not change his style of play. Coach Mike Tomlin has said to Ward to continue doing what he does best. Support and agreement even came from Bungle WR Chad Ocho Cinco (even if no one else calls him by his legal name, I will!) who stated:

"Unnecessary roughness? That doesn't make any sense. I am serious; that doesn't make any sense at all. Hines has always been probably the best darned blocker in the NFL. I don't understand where you get unnecessary roughness from. That is not even a rule."

Polamalu usually does his talking on the field, but when he does let his quiet demeanor down he shows a thoughtful and intelligent mind. I’d say we need to get this guy speaking more often, but I’m sure he’ll get fined for these comments. Why keep racking up bills?

In response, commissioner Goodell shot back at Polamalu’s comments on Baltimore radio.

"I have a great deal of respect for him as a player, and obviously he has a right to his own views. But to say that this is about money and not the health of our players, I think is extremely disappointing when we spend as much time as we do with active players, reviewing our rules, reviewing techniques and making sure we make the game is as safe as possible."

Goodell, I’d believe your statements over Polamalu’s if I ever saw any consistency in the penalties called. See Shawn Rogers.


NFL The Alternative Universe

Jerry Jones, boy he’s showing up a bunch lately, trotted out the Jonas Brothers before the game against the Cardinals to pimp their performance at Texas Stadium during halftime of the Cowboys Thanksgiving game. Really, the Jonas Brothers? I know the Janet Jackson boob fiasco was too saucy for the NFL, but must we have these constant milquetoast acts during big time NFL games? And as for keeping in touch with his core audience, do you really think Jonas Brothers fans are hunkered down each Sunday watching football or instead updating their Facebook pages and texting Brittany about what Dakota did with Trevor last weekend! Hmmmm, I’m guessing the latter.

Former Jaguars defensive lineman Richard Collier was released from the hospital this week. As I mentioned last week, if ever you felt the need to pray for an NFL player, pray for Collier.

Denver Police brought murder charges against a man in the shooting death of Bronco cornerback Darrent Williams. Can’t we just put him in a room with a few of Darrent’s former teammates, quietly lock the door and take a long coffee break? I have no problem with this.

Ex NFL running back Travis Henry was released from jail on bail. Henry is charged with federal drug charges and posted $400,000 in bail for his release. Good gravy, how will the man support his children forking over that kind of scratch?

Jaguars receiver Matt Jones was notified his cocaine charge will be heard in drug court in Fayetteville Arkansas instead of the regular criminal system, helping him avoid a mark on his record even if found guilty. Huh, I wonder how he swung that sweet deal, sport celebrity or the color of his skin. I’ll let you decide that one.

Perpetual douche bag and Kansas City running back Larry Johnson was charged with shoving a woman in a nightclub in KC back in February. This marks Johnson’s third time being charged with assault on a woman. I’ve said this before, but it needs said again. Johnson, what’s with this ridiculous thug act, YOU GREW UP IN STATE COLLEGE PENNSYLVANIA! Did this bucolic past create an asinine need to act like a total jackass now in adult life in order to create some ridiculous street cred?

Recently unemployed running back Shawn Alexander signed this week with the Redskins as insurance due to injury to Ladell Betts. I wonder if he will sit in the Redskins cafeteria and exchange Super Bowl XL stories with Antwaan Randle El?

Speaking of former Steelers, Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter was fined $20,000 by the NFL for making critical comments regarding Ed Hochuli pertaining to the Dolphins loss at Houston. Oh, now THERE’S a fight I’d watch, Porter versus Hochuli. You want to invigorate the boxing world? Get these two in the ring, with Mills Lane as referee. Let’s get it on!!!


Upon Further Review

The toll of the Cardinal game on the Cowboys was much more than an overtime loss and a tie in their division. Their initial early season dominance has been crushed and now the seams are unraveling in big D. I haven’t seen this much drama since Larry Hagman sported a 10 gallon hat.

First off, there’s the ongoing Adam Jones saga. Jones was suspended indefinitely by the league for fighting with his team assigned bodyguard, misidentified by me as a hotel employee last week, in an alcohol related incident. Thursday Jones entered an alcohol treatment program in an attempt to save face. He can ask for reinstatement after 4 games, but Goodell said a lifetime ban is possible.

Tony Romo could be out 4 weeks with broken pinkie on throwing hand. But after talking with BRETT FAVRE, Romo wants to play and even practiced. Wow, Favre healed him enough just over the phone to play. Is there anything Brett can’t do?

Punter Mat McBriar is out for season with broken kicking foot suffered on the last play of the Cardinals game.

Uber rookie Felix Jones is out 2-4 weeks with a partially torn hamstring. Wait, I just realized something, there are a bunch of guys named Jones on the team. Hmmmm, I wonder if it’s a sinister plan by the head Jones to have a team of Jones’ and change the name of the team from Cowboys to Jones. But I digress…

Defensive back Terence Newman out with injury further depleting a weakened secondary.

TO continues his campaign to alienate even Jerry Jones. This time, he spent time on the sidelines harping at center Andre Gurode. Not nearly as entertaining as the time he did it to McNabb and kinda played out. What’s next, crunches in the parking lot?

This game is my proof of my earlier observation that the Cowboys are a sloppy, lazy and undisciplined team that lacks serious fundamentals. And it’s every player from the top down. If Romo had better fundamentals, he wouldn’t get stripped so often. If TO had better fundamentals, he’d shut up and run his routes. If the defensive backfield had better fundamentals, they’d defend a pass once in a while. If Wade Phillips had better fundamentals, he’d look like coach and not a retired man on vacation who won the resort karaoke contest with a stirring rendition of “Only You”. And if Jerry Jones had better fundamentals, he’d have never fought with Jimmy Johnson.

So with his team momentarily reeling and suffering from significant holes in their secondary, running and return game special teams and at quarterback and people calling out his tendency to take on hard luck cases and sweep serious transgressions under the rug, Jerry Jones springs into action. And what does the all knowing head Jones do to fortify his team? He picks up Lions WR Roy Williams for a king’s ransom. Good call Jerry, that’ll fix things.

Wait, it already has. With the addition of Williams now Owens, oblivious of the fact that Williams was brought in to help stretch the field and pull double coverage off of TO, ups his complaining to the media of how he’s frustrated about how much of the ball he’s getting.

Jones has had success in the past managing players with strong personalities and gigantic egos while keeping the mayhem under control and under the rug. But this time, he might have too much to handle at once. With his business side distracted by the raising of his football cathedral, his attention is momentarily divided. Plus he’s stocked his roster with more egos than Freud’s case study library and all of them are beginning to clash at once. And the team is currently run by the amiable Wade Phillips, who could not control a kindergarten class let alone the soccer riot that is the Cowboys locker room. All of these are combining to form the perfect storm of madness that could turn the pre season Super Bowl favorite from the NFC into the odd man out in the NFC East. Works for me, then we’d have a great team in the Super Bust. Go Jerry!


Football 101

Watching some of the action last week, I figured it high time we take a look at one of the more fundamental items of playing football, proper tackling.

From the first drills in August mini camps all across the nation from Pee Wee leagues to the Pros, one of the most important tenants all defensive coaches pound into their charges heads is that when tackling, you wrap your arms around the ball carrier. No matter if it be a running back, receiver, quarterback or a lineman picking up a loose ball, when you lay your shoulder into the carrier to make the tackle, you wrap your arms around them and do not let go until the whistle sounds. This action is one of the most essential pieces of good tackling. When you wrap your arms, you attach yourself to the ball carrier keeping them from getting loose and making a big play. When following this edict, the worst that can happen is the carrier gets a few extra yards, no more.

But watching a few teams last weekend showed me this most fundamental piece of defensive skill is sorely under coached. The Chargers, Broncos, Cowboys and Ravens demonstrated horrible tackling skills against their opponents. Defensive backs would fly in to make a play, hit the ball carrier and bounce off because none of them wrapped their arms. Linebackers had similar track records, looking to make highlight films with a spectacular hit rather than helping their team with solid fundamentals.

And what did this improper tackling provide for their respective fates? The Broncos, Cowboys and Ravens all lost their matches, some spectacularly. The Chargers did manage to win, but it was more because of the quality of their opponent than their acumen as tacklers. But let’s dive in deeper and take a look at each team's records and defensive standings.

Ravens – 2-3 1st in total defense – ouch that hurts the theory, but let’s consider the fact that the Ravens are also on a 3 game losing streak and were blown out by a previously thought left for dead Colts team.

Cowboys – 4-2 10th in total defense – that doesn’t help much either, but the Cowboys have lost 2 of their last three games and are currently reeling.

Chargers – 3-3 28th in total defense – do you see a pattern start to form?

Broncos – 4-2 30th in total defense – if it were not for their prolific offense, Denver would be in far worse shape.

While looking at these teams it may seem I am overreacting as their records are not horrible, but I do not believe I am. Wrapping your arms when you make a tackle is a fundamental part of football taught at the earliest levels of the game through the highest level. If a team is unable to handle even this most basic of skills, there is no way they will succeed with more intricate schemes and never will they capture the ultimate prize, an NFL championship. No team that performs this way will make, or win, the Super Bowl, and I predict now none of these 4 teams will this year. Watch all teams if you have a chance and closely watch their defense. If the 11 gentlemen they field are showing poor tackling fundamentals, that team will go nowhere come January.


He Said He Said

This fun little idea came to me after hearing just one too many nonsensical comments from the mouths of the NFL elite. So I figure why not lay out some of the best from the week. It’s a test show, and could be pulled after only a few weeks if it doesn’t find its legs. But why not give it a trial run. Such a shame Denny Green doesn’t coach anymore, that would help ratings.

Jon Kitna is convinced Detroit has used his back injury and subsequent trip to injured reserve as an excuse to bench him. Yes John, there is animosity there, but I have trouble buying Detroit would prefer their current options over you especially after watching the “highlights” of their tilt with the Vikings.

85 feels his lack of catches is punishment for speaking out in the summer. No Chad, it’s because Carson Palmer is a shell of his former self, Ryan Fitzpatrick is no gunslinger and he does not know who C. Johnson is. FREE OCHO CINCO.

Vince Young has decided to use all of the negativity against him as motivation, is unsure why the media is writing stories on him with such negativity and believes they are writing his legacy. No Vince, you write your own legacy. And so far you’re writing very poorly.

Coming out of commercial break during Sunday Night Football, the staff showed another local restaurant preparing a delicacy. At the end of the spot, it showed a couple digging in and the table featured a gargantuan drink with two straws. Madden of course could not hold back and stated that he would not need a straw and would just drink straight from the glass, it didn’t matter what it contained. It’s going to be a dull game this Sunday night without John.


Idiot of the week

Oh, once again the nominees came fast and furious. So many people making great cases to win this coveted award, but one stood above the rest.

This week we bestow the title of Idiot upon Jerry Jones. Yes, continuing to attempt to placate the consistently unsatisfied TO qualifies him. As does spending a billion dollars on a football stadium, constantly fighting with the NFL about nonsensical things such as beverage licensing, becoming a halfway house for the NFL troubled and continuing to hire coaches whom he can control instead of ones that might get the job done (careful here, look how well it’s been working out for Al Davis.)

But what seals the deal this week is his no big deal approach to the latest Adam “I should go back to Pacman” Jones transgression. Yes Jerry, his talent is enough to take a chance on, but the man has serious issues that need real help, not the band aid of being able to play football and certainly not the enabling attitude put forth by you. So for overlooking the issues of a young man on a self destructive path merely to get press and some on field production; Jerry you are an Idiot.


Taking the Week Off

Cardinals - What’s there to do this week? They’re 4-2, knocked off the Cowboys and feeling pretty good about themselves. It’s Miller Time!

Jaguars – Regrouping, recovering, remembering and reacquainting.

Falcons – See the Cardinals entry above.

Eagles – Eagle fans will stop their usual ponderings regarding Andy Reid’s foolish game decisions and poor clock management and McNabb’s penchant for choking in big games to watch the Phillies in the World Series. While I fancy western PA sporting teams, I’ll always support the eastern teams. Go Phillies!

John Madden – Madden is sitting out this Sunday’s game in order to avoid traveling across the country three weeks in a row. It will be his first missed game in 476 broadcasts. Personally, I think John just wanted to avoid having to find something interesting to say about the imploding Seahawks.


On Tap This Week

The football gods give when they feel kind, and take when they feel slighted. I guess my hubris about the 12-2 week was not looked upon kindly.

Last week 6-8
Season to date 54-34

Yeesh. Ok, another week another opportunity for teams to play above, and below, their heads and cream me.


Sunday


San Diego (3-3) at Buffalo (4-1)

Yes, San Diego’s demolition of the Pats in prime time looked impressive, but was it? I mean they beat Matt Cassel, not Tom Brady. And their traveling this week across the country and next across the ocean while Buffalo had a week off filled with rest and wings.

Bills over Chargers


New Orleans (3-3) at Carolina (4-2)

Wow, a tough one right near the start. In the NFC South I think home team wins. At least I hope so.

Panthers over Saints


Minnesota (3-3) at Chicago (3-3)

The Vikings squeezed out a win thanks to Bungles-level play from the Lions. Only bad strategy last week killed Chicago. I bet they kick deep this week if it’s close.

Bears over Vikings


Pittsburgh (4-1) at Cincinnati (0-6)

As if this one would be difficult to pick before, Carson Palmer is out again with elbow trouble. Who knows how far this Bungle ship will sink.

Steelers over Bengals


Tennessee (5-0) at Kansas City (1-4)

Larry Johnson is suspended for violating team rules. Nope, has nothing to do with his new legal troubles. Wow, that Herm Edwards hiring sure was a good call. Herm, you should have stayed in New York, you’re reputation might look a slight bit better today.

Titans over Chiefs


Baltimore (2-3) at Miami (2-3)

I’m not overly impressed by either team. But Miami did keep it close last week, more than I can say from Ray Lewis and Company.

Dolphins over Ravens


San Francisco (2-4) at New York Giants (4-1)

Yes, the New York defense looked mortal last week. What San Fran fans wouldn’t give to have a week when looking mortal was considered an off week.

Giants over 49ers


Dallas (4-2) at St. Louis (1-4)

Despite being nothing but a sheer mess, and with the Ram feeling their oats with a big giant win last week this looks to be a monster week for St. Louis. Eh, sounds too easy.

Cowboys over Rams


Detroit (0-5) at Houston (1-4)

Good gravy, who’s watching this travesty of football? This is why NFL players make so much, to put up with crap like this?

Texans over Lions


Indianapolis (3-2) at Green Bay (3-3)

Joseph Addai is out for 2-4 weeks with a partially torn hamstring, so back to the future Dominic Rhodes is the man again in Indy. If Marvin Harrison is really back, it will matter not. I’m taking my first real chance this week on Indianapolis.

Colts over Packers


New York Jets (3-2) at Oakland (1-4)

Just when you thought things could not get any worse in Oakland, welcome to the Tom Cable show! I wonder if the NFL could intervene here regarding Al Davis, like a family letting grandpa know he should no longer be driving. Nah, what fun would that be?

Jets over Raiders


Cleveland (2-3) at Washington (4-2)

I figured out how Washington works. One horrible game followed by 4 winning performances. Now, this should mean the start of a 4 game winning streak. Right?

Redskins over Browns


Seattle (1-4) at Tampa Bay (4-2)

I’m not falling for an upset here. Seattle does not travel to the East Coast well. Ok, lately they do not do much of anything well. And they really won’t with Hasselbeck out again.

Buccaneers over Seahawks


Monday

Denver (4-2) at New England (3-2)

If the Pats win, then Denver’s crappy defense is to blame and yet another Bronco defensive coordinator will be held up as a sacrificial lamb, even though the current coordinator is still working with Browns castoffs. If Denver wins, then we start hearing the real rumblings that the only way Belichick can win is with a healthy dose of Tom Brady and cheating. This might be the toughest one of the week. Yes, the Broncos offense is great, but their defense sucks. Yes Cassel sucks, but he’s ok against questionable defenses. The Broncos are the sexy pick, but if I learned anything from the ALCS game 5, it’s never count out an experienced Boston team. Hold on, I have to take a moment to deal with the bile rising up my esophagus. Ok, I’m good.

Patriots over Broncos

The Crystal Ball 2008 Week 6

Did ya miss me? I sure missed you. The Lady K and I are in treatment for DFS, but it looks like we might, just might, pull through. And during our absence, so much has happened in the NFL, my head is swimming and common sense is thrown asunder.

While we are still in treatment, (the full treatment will not be set until next week, details to come), how about we fill in some gaps, make a little fun and look at a few picks?

Recap

Question, is Jim Zorn really pulling this off in Washington? After week 1, who would have thought they might be the secret beast in the NFL East? I’m personally stunned, and wondering if his absence is the missing link in Seattle.

How far can the Bungles sink? Hey, didn’t the greatest minds covering the NFL tell us all they were a team on the rise just a few years ago?

How long before everyone starts turning on Ted Thompson and demanding his head on a platter? I give him one more bad Packer loss.

It’s painfully obvious now; the Colts are in for one tough season. It’s not gonna get any easier with some people saying Eli is a better quarterback than Peyton. What planet are we living on?

What is up in Miami? They tear apart New England and then shut down Tomlinson and the Chargers? I knew it; I should ALWAYS listen to Joey Porter!

Ok, let’s just say it. Sage Rosenfels screwed up royally. But let’s not gang pile on the guy too much. At least he was trying. Far more than you can say for anyone on the Lions, or Raiders, or Chiefs.

Lawrence Maroney has said he has his issues for not running the ball well this season for the Patriots, but he will not go into detail. Larry, I got you covered. Here’s why your carrying of the rock has been poor. The Pats offensive line is mortal for once in Belichick’s reign, and opposing defenses have been keying on the run and daring Matt Cassel to beat them with his arm. Does that about sum it up Larry?

For his uncanny ability to leap onto the pile after the tackle has been made, Ray Lewis won Peter King’s defensive player of the week despite the fact that the Ravens defense gave up a late game touchdown that won the game for the Kerry Collins-led Titans. Ok, when can we finally all admit that Lewis’ career has been pumped up by two indisputable facts: One, he’s always in the center of the camera because whether he makes the play or not, he leaps on any pile he can find, and two, he’s a media whore and pimps himself and his “accomplishments” at any opportunity.


The Steel Pit

The Steelers are sitting pretty this week with some time off and a sweet 4-1 record. But such a lauded position does not come without a price. After two heavyweight fights against the Ravens and Jaguars, the price has been beyond high.

Roethlisberger is banged up again, as is Jeff Reed, Marvel Smith and Cary Davis.

Willie Parker is still recuperating, but at least expected back soon.

Rashard Mendenhall and Kendall Simmons have been lost for the season.

No one has ever needed a bye week more than Pittsburgh. But despite the setbacks, some positives have come out of the last two weeks.

Despite starting off very slowly in the Ravens game, the team found the needed sparks to jumpstart their offense and beat a fierce and determined squad.

Big Ben has come to realize he’s one of the best quarterbacks in the league and is playing as such. More importantly, so have many NFL observers. Nice of you to get on board national media! Those of us who follow Steeler football have realized that for years. Mind you, I know Mr. Bouchette has been a big proponent of Ben for some time and I am not calling him out. It’s others I’m putting on the spotlight at the moment. But his article really brings home my point.

The defense, with huge contributions from LaMarr Woodley and Lawrence Timmons, is looking far stouter than it has in years.

Tomlin has realized that if the offense operates without Arians sticking his nose into things, then the team runs so much better.

That covers good and bad, but the ugly comes from a few vocal and boozed up fans. I know the team played crappy the entire 1st half of the Ravens game, but booing them at home? Come on, who are we, Patriots fans? Why turn so quickly? No, we are much better than that. And I’m not the only one who thinks this. Thank you kindly Mr. Tucker, but those of us who are charter members of Steeler Nation knew this all along.


NFL The Alternative Universe

Eric Mangini’s third son was born early Friday, October 10th, the same day as BRETT FAVRE’S BIRTHDAY! And what did you do to celebrate this soon to be named national holiday? In keeping with a promise he made while the Jets were courting their current quarterback, Mangini and his wife gave their new son the middle name of Brett. I wish on all the stars in the heavens I were making this one up. Of the naming, Mangini said,

"I think he thinks it's pretty cool. I think the more interesting, ironic, I don't know what word you'd use, is the fact he was born on Brett's birthday."

Honestly, I don’t have the words or the jokes. Please write your own. Send them in and I’ll print the winner. I’m too stunned to properly make fun of Mangini. Bill Belichick is exempt from this contest.

James Harrison was fined $20,000, for criticizing the roughing the passer call assessed against him in the Jaguars game. Harrison was correct to criticize the call, especially since his hit on Garrard was a tenth of the hit Shaun Rogers put on Roethlisberger in the Cleveland game that was never called. And I’m not the only one that thinks so. Big Ben backed up his defensive teammate.

My personal opinion: I didn't think it was a late hit and I usually stand up for quarterbacks.

Hines Ward was fined $5,000 for unnecessary roughness on a play that was never flagged. Hines, be careful out there. Those defensive backs are delicate flowers.

In a move that surprised maybe one, the Rams fired Linehan. I hate to say this, but the Rams screwed up again. They canned Linehan too soon. If they waited just a week or two more, he would have most likely had the kind of classic meltdown that would have made a classic Coors commercial. In their second gigantic screw up, they named former Saints head coach and current Rams defensive coordinator Jim Haslett as the interim head coach. Yeah, that’s your answer to turn this disaster around, the architect of the 30th ranked defense in the league. Good call Georgia! She really is a special gal, ain’t she?

We needed worry, though, I’m sure Rod Marinelli will give us that Coors commercial yet. And do not you ever doubt it, ever ever ever. Don’t ever doubt it.

In the worst kept secret in the NFL, the Raiders put poor Lane “Lance” Kiffin out o f his misery. I wish Kiffin the kind of success found by Mike Shanahan, and he gets another job and the opportunity to stick it to Al Davis twice a year. I’m sorry, but it’s just too much fun watching Oakland intentionally sabotage itself week in and week out. It’s familiar and comforting, like a well worn sweatshirt or John Madden talking of his love of food.

Speaking of which, listening to Madden anymore is like listening to an aging uncle who is losing his grip on reality. He’ll start talking about a certain play, formation or player, and then segues into some odd non sequitur about food, a player from 1945 or the toilet on the Madden Cruiser. I mean, did anyone else find it immensely hilarious hearing him talking about his overflowing plate at Wilma McNabb’s Philly team buffet?

If you ever entertained the thought that maybe, just maybe, fantasy football might just be a giganto waste of time, and I know I have, here’s another convincing reason that it might be time to grow up and avoid getting involved in this nonsense and getting some semblance of a life.

Yes, politics do make strange bedfellows. Just ask Tony Romo.


Upon Further Review

If ever you felt the need to pray for an NFL player, and I’m sure many have not at least since Kevin Everett, then pray for Richard Collier. The true nature of Collier’s injuries, suffered in a shooting incident on September 2nd, came to light recently. This man now has an immensely hard life in front of him, and he has been dealt this hand for no reason other than the fact that he was a victim of random violence. It disturbs me, as it did with Sean Taylor, that there are people in this world that resort to violence and lash out at others just because they are jealous of those who work hard to achieve fame and fortune. Our society is far too me first, and these kind of incidents are but a horrible road mark of a terrible path we are all traveling down at a breakneck speed.


Idiot of the week

Oh, the nominees for Idiot of the Week have come to us fast and furious since last we shared in the joys of the NFL world.

Terrell Owens – The Cowboys suffer their first loss of the season. They were embarrassed at home by the Redskins. The whole team made one bonehead mistake after another, and they never had the cohesion needed to defeat a determined opponent. So, with the team reeling from defeat, what does their all pro receiver do? What he always does, place the blame on everyone else but him. He states in his post game interview that the team would do much better if he would get the ball more often. As the always astute, but former Bungle, Cris Collinsworth pointed out, the Cowboys ran one third of their plays to or through Owens, yet they still lost. Ahhh, TO, how quickly you place the blame elsewhere once the chips are down. But we’ve heard this before in Philly, and Frisco, so no victory here.

Adam Jones – Oh, Pacman strikes again. Jones was involved in an altercation in a downtown Dallas hotel with a security guard. While some reports have stated Jones may have been drinking, the Cowboys have stated they will not assess any discipline. Of course not, Jones has his hands full with Terrell “it’s all about me” Owens. When would he have time to reel in Pacman? Still, no winner here as Pacman is merely reverting to form.

Plaxico Burress – Burress, who has admitted to having a time management problem, was suspended for last week’s game by the team for missing time from the team. Burress maintains his absence was family related and was unapologetic. What makes Plax a candidate? Can we really call him an idiot for tending to family? No, certainly not. We’re always big supporters of family here. But Burress never spoke with one team official about his personal situation, just took off. He’s a nominee for not being able to make one simple phone call and then sitting on his butt and watching the Giant offense roll on without him with zero issues. Not bad, but come on, Plax is just picking up the mantle left by Jeremy Shockey. You must do better than that.

Roger Goodell – the good commissioner has spent the last week fining Dolphins Ronnie Brown, Vernon Carey and Ikechuku Ndukwe as well as Viking Antoine Winfield for touchdown celebrations. Good call there Roger. Never mind the Steeler ownership issues, the concussion problems on the field, the outstanding issues with older players and their health and pension problems, the ongoing issues with the CBA and potential for a collapse of the entire bargaining system as well as a headless players union since the passing of Gene Upshaw or NFL players being targeted by physical violence by criminals, the fight with cable networks over carrying the NFLN or even the inconsistent calls for banned helmet to helmet hits, roughing the quarterback calls and other questionable on field behavior that seems to be arbitrarily penalized and fined. No, don’t worry about that stuff. Make sure you clamp down on the natural exuberance shown by young men that succeed at their jobs. Yes, putting a stop to that will fix what ills the NFL. While Roger sure does deserve it, we’ll give him a flyer while he gets a stronger grasp on the job. After it all, it took Paul Tagliabue a few years to get the hang of it.

Which leaves us with but one true winner, and the award goes to…..

Al Davis – Now, honestly, Al could have won for the season by signing Javon Walker to a ridiculous deal alone. But what pushed him over the edge this week? Was it the long drawn out firing of Lane Kiffin, which we all knew would happen? Or perhaps it was his backing of Rob Ryan and not Kiffin, who truthfully is the real reason the Raiders have been blowing games with his awful defensive calls in the fourth quarter of games? Or perhaps his naming of who dat Tom Cable as his interim head coach? Or just maybe it was his twisted, incoherent, cringe-worthy diatribe in the press conference announcing Kiffin’s firing? All of those are good, but what really pushed me was his predictable, and nonsensical, firing of Kiffin after only 20 games on the job. Obviously, he never gave poor Lane a real chance to clean up the mess left by Art Shell and Bill Callahan. But Al really never learns from his own mistakes. Al, do you happen to remember the last coach you only allowed to coach 20 games? Why yes, it was Mike Shanahan. You know, the same Shanahan who has won two championships in Denver? The same one who takes an inordinate amount of pleasure in spanking your Raiders thoroughly each and every time his Broncos face your team. Well guess what Al? Here’s hoping the Chiefs get fed up with Herm Edwards and hire Kiffin and you get twice the torture. Al, you are an Idiot.


Taking the Week Off

Bills – The team is spending the week making sure the last game was merely an aberration, and the people of Buffalo hoping the Toronto deal is merely just a few games played across the border for a few years and not an audition for Canada.

Chiefs – There’s nothing they can do short of an implosion of the team that could fix this mess. Especially since they lost to the Raiders.

Titans – Jeff Fisher will keep pumping up Vince Young’s ego while at the same time improving the props in his special secret room where he keeps Kerry Collins to continue fooling him that it’s 1994.

Steelers – The team will do the only thing it can do, present the best off Broadway performance of M*A*S*H ever known to mankind.


On Tap This Week

In the two weeks since last we chatted fondly next to the fire sipping brandy, much has happened with our win loss record.

Two weeks ago 8-5
Last week 12-2
Season to date 48-27

And last week, we won the poll and climbed within 3 points of the overall lead. HA! Take that paid NFL prognosticators! But like the mighty Mississippi, which I’ve recently crossed, the river keeps on rolling, as do we.


Sunday

Chicago (3-2) at Atlanta (3-2)

Ah HA! I told you the neck beard would rule all! I shamefully admit I doubted its power. I doubt not this week. Matt Ryan may have defeated Packer mystique, but he cannot overcome the neck beard.

Bears over Falcons


Miami (2-2) at Houston (0-4)

The Texans try so hard, just like the clumsy kid on the playground in a pickup game of kick ball. Unfortunately, they perform just like said clumsy kid.

Dolphins over Texans


Baltimore (2-2) at Indianapolis (2-2)

Baltimore looks much better than Indy right now. But they’ve lost two in a row. And the Colts, who should be 0-4, have been fighting for survival and finding a way to win no matter what. I’m betting on Peyton too, if only because it could mean a new commercial campaign.

Colts over Ravens


Detroit (0-4) at Minnesota (2-3)

Marinelli and Kitna have been Secret Service level secretive about the quarterback’s status for Sunday. Oh, that bodes well for Sunday. I say we’re two games away from Rob’s meltdown and three from his termination.

Vikings over Lions


Oakland (1-3) at New Orleans (2-3)

Yeah, the Saints had a tremendous meltdown Monday night. Thanks guys, by the way. But something tells me they’ll take out their frustrations on the rudderless Raiders. Stupid Oakland, I mock your idiocy.

Saints over Raiders


Cincinnati (0-5) at New York Jets (2-2)

Could the Bungles possibly get something in the win column this week? Hee hee, no. Reports are that Carson Palmer is out again and the fantabulous Ryan Fitzpatrick will be back under center. Wow, what a time to be a Bungle fan.

Jets over Bengals


Carolina (4-1) at Tampa Bay (3-2)

Ok, finally a tough one. Honestly, I’m not sure and I might be going against the grain here, but I think John Fox can get his boys fired up enough to take one on the road.

Panthers over Buccaneers


St. Louis (0-4) at Washington (4-1)

No matter the coach, or quarterback, the results remain the same. St. Louis sucks. Not Raiders suck, but pretty damn close.

Redskins over Rams


Jacksonville (2-3) at Denver (4-1)

Wow, where did the Broncos find some defense? Will it be enough to overcome the reeling and severely handicapped squad from Florida? You betcha.

Broncos over Jaguars


Dallas (4-1) at Arizona (3-2)

Yeah, the mystique around Dallas has been punctured, and Arizona has been on the warpath. But for some reason, I think Romo and company has enough to overcome Warner and his boys. Perhaps it’s just 40 years of NFL history that tells me such things.

Cowboys over Cardinals


Philadelphia (2-3) at San Francisco (2-3)

Oh, I know who’s gonna win this game. The Eagles, no doubt about it. I learned as much from McNabb’s blog. I’m sorry, but I have trouble trusting a quarterback and team leader who calls out his team, and himself, on a blog instead of taking care of business in house. As I write this on a blog…..

Eagles over 49ers


Green Bay (2-3) at Seattle (1-3)

Rodgers has an injured shoulder; the team is reeling from three straight defeats. No worries, the tonic of Seattle is here! Sure it would be easy to beat them with a questionable running game and receivers straight from the unemployment line. But as a bonus, the Pack gets to face their opponent minus Matt “I make lame commercials for NFL Network” Hasselbeck!

Packers over Seahawks


New England (3-1) at San Diego (2-3)

Oh, you damn well better believe the Bolts will be out for revenge! And they’d get it, if it weren’t for the fact that Chris Chambers will be out for the game, and LaDainian “I’m looking for karmic payback by calling myself LT” Tomlinson is hurty, and the defense is questionable, and Norv Turner is the coach.

Patriots over Chargers


Monday

New York Giants (4-0) at Cleveland (1-3)

I’ll provide in depth analysis as soon as the Giants play a real game.

Giants over Browns