The Crystal Ball 2008 Week 17

Did everyone have a great Christmas? I must say it was not too shabby here. A few nice things were under the tree for me from the Lady K. Plus, I finally got the one thing I’ve wanted for a while regarding Pittsburgh, some respect.

All I’ve wanted is just some respect. Some recognition of what they’ve been doing lately. The stifling defense, the effective special teams and the clutch offense, I wanted someone to just say the team is good. No, each week they faced a tough opponent and each week they were predicted to lose. Of course, they’d drop the hammer, but then the next week it would be the same song and dance.

It’s kind of ironic that it took a loss for the team to get that recognition. I guess that’s a win in some respects.


Opening Kickoff

As a Steeler fan, I was able to justify the Tennessee loss faster than Congress justified billions of dollars to Wall Street with zero accountability. And as we all know, that’s fast.


Recap

Ok, the Cowboys stack 11 in the box to stop Baltimore’s running game near the end of the game, leaving no safety back just in case, and get burned for a 77 yard touchdown. So what do they do the very next Ravens offensive play? Stack 11 in the box leaving no safety help and get burned for an 82 yard touchdown. Wasn’t wade Phillips supposed to be some defensive guy? And that’s why Texas Stadium closes with a loss. Awww.

Ok, I’ll give this to the Patriots stadium staff. During pregame as they’re preparing the field, you could see the video crew playing a shot of a burning fire in the fireplace on the Jumbotron. Now that’s funny.

So let me get this straight. Pittsburgh loses to Tennessee, who loses to Houston, who gets creamed by Oakland. That makes sense.

If I may, I would like to offer a small piece of advice to Matt Ryan. As a quarterback you should never, ever go airborne. Ask Sage Rosenfels how well that works out.

Does winning the AFC West come with some curse or a bag of dog doo? Something bad must come of it, since Denver keeps blowing opportunities to clinch the division, while the Chargers fought off opportunities at the beginning of the season. Stupid Denver, how can you not wrap things up last week? You were at home against Buffalo!

Remember what I said last week about Philadelphia? How they were winning by playing terrible or collapsing competition? Well, what happens when they play a semi competent team? They lose. Oh, and a quick message to Peter King. Did you see how many times they threw the ball against Washington versus how much they ran? Are you shocked? I tried to warn you last week.

Oh, and I have a small note for Andy Reid. Those out passes to receivers at or behind the line of scrimmage you like? The ones intended to catch the defense in soft coverage? If the defense is not in soft coverage and keeps sniffing them out, resulting in your team losing yardage or gaining little, that means the play is not working so stop running it. Man, it’s like dealing with a child who refuses to learn.

Others smarter than me have said this before, but after 8 dropped passes it could stand to be reiterated. If Andy Reid insists on running such a pass oriented offense, why does he never invest in better receivers?

And is it just me, or does it seem that McNabb never knows exactly how far he needs to throw for a first down or touchdown? How many passes did he throw Sunday that were either horribly underthrown or thrown to receivers ridiculously far away from where he needed to be? That is correct, all but 4.

I guess all that money for Kris Jenkins, Alan Faneca and Brett Favre bought nothing more than inflated hopes and unrealistic expectations. Wow, who would have thought that? Oh, right, I did.

Tarvaris Jackson was spectacular the previous week. So much so that Brad “careful with that liquid nitrogen” Childress not only gave him the start but also put the game in his hands at a most critical juncture instead of Adrian “I’m the only thing keeping you from 4-12” Peterson. Can you guess what happened?

The Redskins, Chargers, Eagles, Broncos and Vikings all piss me off. Way to try hard when it’s far too late to matter. Oddly, I respect the Cowboys, Favres and Buccaneers who just outright collapse or implode. I can get behind that.

The Chiefs and Dolphins took the field in frigid weather conditions, where the temperature dipped to 12 below zero with the wind chill. And to think Chiefs fans actually braved that to watch their team implode again. That’s a fan kids.

Everyone says Belichick should be coach of the year since he did such a masterful job with the Pats this season minus Brady, Harrison or Thomas. Yes, yes he did, against the easiest schedule in the NFL! Good gravy, how about some perspective.

And if Beli-cheat was such a genius, why did he still have Matt Cassel out on the field throwing with the Pats up 44-0? Oh, right, because he’s a malicious jerk.

Ok, the referees need to relax. Yes, Wes Welker making a snow angel after a touchdown was probably extraneous celebration, but it was fun. He wasn’t taunting the opponent, or signing autographs, faking a phone call, holding up a sign or being a general douche bag. He made a snow angel! That’s fun and seasonally appropriate. Get a grip.

Ryan Fitzpatrick went 5 – 9 for 55 yards and won. And the Browns have yet to score an offensive touchdown in 5 straight games. Boy, the Browns are a sorry bunch. Sorry Drew, but it’s true.

Wow, what an awesome self congratulatory post game ceremony honoring Texas Stadium put on by the Cowboys after a drubbing by the ravens. It was delicious watching Jerry Jones plan and execute this egotistical display, trudging out all those former Cowboys when the current team dropped a big turd for the stadium’s final game. It made it even more delicious knowing how much of Cowboy history Jones steamrolled when he first bought the team. I’d call Jones a douche bag, but it’s not fitting. I’ll go with the Lady K’s description, he’s an enema bag.


The Steel Pit

I knew Pittsburgh was in trouble as soon as I saw the Tennessee cheerleaders in skimpy outfits despite the cold. The football gods always smile on that sort of cheerleader professionalism.

And really, we got stuck with Nantz and Simms again? Simms made the brilliant observation that there were a lot of Steeler fans in attendance. Really Phil? Ever been to a Steeler road game before? That’s not new.

The scares didn’t stop there. Harrison going down early with an injury was frightening, but mercifully just minor. Ryan Clark dislocating his shoulder was more frightening and worrisome for the long term health of the defense.

And what was with Jeff Reed missing a field goal?

Plus, what was with the unsportsmanlike penalty on Aaron Smith? What, you cannot talk trash now? Were the refs afraid Pittsburgh would offend the delicate sensibilities of the Titans?

Oh, and it hurt watching the Titans roll up more than 300 yards of total offense. But not as bad as watching rookie Jason Jones, filling in for Albert Haynesworth, recording 3 ½ sacks. Yeesh.

Things weren’t all bad though. Ben threw his 100th touchdown pass and James Harrison captured the Steelers single season sack record. Those are good things to hang your hat upon.

Plus, Pittsburgh finally, FINALLY, drew an offensive hold on an opponent! I thought referees had forgotten about those.

It comes down to the fact that Pittsburgh played a bad game all the way around and Tennessee most certainly did not. Those things happen, and they are devastating against a good opponent like the Titans. But the weakest link was, and I hate to say this, the defense.

A few weeks ago Troy Polamalu stated that the Steelers defense is not built to be on the field for long periods. His point was that the Steeler defense relies on speed and aggressiveness, and the longer they are on the field the more their effectiveness dissipates. The reasons for his comments were to make a point that the offense must win the battle of time of possession. I agree with his thought process, but would like to make one small point. For the offense to have the ball and move the chains, they must get the ball. And for them to get the ball, the defense must stop opponents on 3rd and 4th down.

Look, Ben’s 4 turnovers hurt, but the real problem last Sunday was the defense. They looked terrible for the first time all season. I hope it was a lack of urgency that brought on such a poor performance and not having peaked a tad too soon.

Another problem is Pittsburgh missed a few breaks. If they had managed to nab that botched punt, that could have changed things greatly. But some days, you do not get the ball bouncing your way, literally or figuratively.

Hopefully the team can learn from the mistakes, figure out better ways to do things and move on.

In other news, Marvel Smith was officially placed on injured reserve, ending his season. But it ended when he had another back surgery, kept hush hush, a few weeks ago. The team signed tackle Jason Capizzi from their practice squad to replace Smith.


NFL The Alternative Universe

This week, the city of Indianapolis and the Colts imploded the RCA Dome. I hope they managed to salvage the crowd enhancing sound system before they pushed the plunger.

Steeler’s defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau revived his yearly tradition and recited the Night Before Christmas to his team this week. I’m sorry, but for my money, this is a better NFL tradition than the 72 Dolphins once again egotistically toasting their perfect season with Champagne each year.

Speaking of LeBeau, Ed Bouchette wrote a great article recently pointing out the discrepancies of Hall of Fame elections and that innovative coordinators like LeBeau should be admitted and their absence is a sign of problems with the selection process. Mr. Bouchette I agree but as an elector you need to go further. Coordinators like LeBeau, Monte Kiffin and others definitely should be admitted, but so should significantly more linemen, linebackers, defensive backs and kickers and punters. Until the bias promoting running backs, receivers and quarterbacks is overcome the selection process will always be flawed.

Apparently, Browns defensive end Shaun Smith punched QB Brady Quinn in the face in the team’s weight room after a heated verbal exchange. Wow, now internal fisticuffs are a part of the Browns sad season. I’m trying to think of a way this could get worse for Cleveland, and any scenario I come up with would still be an improvement over the current disaster.

Really, tackling Junior Seau on the sidelines under the guise of giving him a hug? How dumb, exactly, can Patriot fans get?

Do you get the impression that despite the stupidity of Plaxico Burress’ actions, the irresponsibility behind them and the danger he brought upon himself and others that perhaps this is turning into a bit of a witch hunt? I’m not positive, but something tells me this will get crazier fast.

Then again, perhaps Burress is just a gigantic moron and it’s finally catching up to him.

It would seem not even Santa can please Mike Tomlin after a loss.


Upon Further Review

Each week I see teams pinned deep within their own territory acquiring penalties. And the officials dutifully apply said penalties, but since the offending team is so close to their own goal line, the normal punishment is always truncated. For example, Team X has a 1st and 10 at their own 5 yard line, and then gets a holding penalty. The down is repeated, and instead of moving back 10 yards, they move half the distance to the goal. Now Team X has another 1st down and 12 ½ yards to go. Not much punishment is it?

No it isn’t. And the Dale Gribble in me wonders if this is not a calculated ploy. Perhaps they know their first down play will not work, and just want to test the penalty so they take a penalty and get another shot with only a few extra yards tacked on. I know that’s a stretch, but as we have seen coaches will use any tactic they think will give them an edge.

Regardless of conspiracy theories, why not punish offending teams properly? I propose a reverse penalty. When Team X commits an offensive penalty, say holding delay of game or some other infraction, instead of moving them back half the distance to the goal move the first down marker forward.

In this scenario if Team X has a 1st and 10 at their own 5 yard line and commits a hold, they would get to repeat the down and stay at the 5 but they would then be facing a 1st and 20, since the first down marker would be moved from the 15 yard line to the 25. This would discourage any potential shenanigans and properly admonish the offending team.

Now, I’m sure this idea would need to be properly fleshed out and tweaked in order to fit into the NFL Universe, and perhaps rules would need to be put into place regarding what infractions could acquire this penalty and if defenses could also be punished in similar ways. But I think this would add an interesting new wrinkle to games and provide new challenges to teams.

Come on Roger I know you have more than a few things on your mind right now, but give me something. Especially after co-opting the Super Bust weekend with the Pro Bowl.


He Said He Said

"Who would have thought I'd be sitting here answering that question in front of you? If you'd asked me that last year before the [NFC] championship game, I would have said, 'You need to quit drinking.'" – Favres QB Brett Favre talking to the New York media about his future plans and whether they may include retirement.

Brett, I bet you say that exact same quote in 3 years talking to the Oakland media, after stops in Buffalo and Kansas City.


“If your wife hates it you gotta get rid of it. That’s how it works in my house.” – Joe Buck

I know you’re lying, Joe. She still keeps you around.


“Dallas just isn't a clutch team, and the Cowboys don't take care of the fundamentals that often decide games. But Jerry Jones certainly has the team he deserves. He built the entire undisciplined mess.” – SI.com’s Don Banks

Try telling him that. Oh, that’s right the plastic surgery has rendered him deaf to criticism.


“Why do Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers keep downing the ball to stop the clock in their two-minute offense when it's totally unnecessary? Not a good sign for a team in a lot of close games.” – SI.com’s Andrew Perloff

Hell of a good question. Anyone have an answer other than Ben, despite his heroics, has a little too much Favre in him and a tendency to play like a dink?


“Is Tennessee's Alge Crumpler just big or fat? I kept wondering why that guard-eligible was catching the ball so far downfield.” – SI.com’s Andrew Perloff

He’s just fat. Can we put that to bed? Once he retires, he’s gonna blow up like a donut on a jelly injector.


"We're not gonna look for excuses. They made critical plays. We made critical errors.'' - Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

Mike Tomlin, master of the understatement.


“We've had plenty of Lions and Chiefs and Raiders games, too, the last couple of years, so we know how to polish up a turd pretty good. Not everybody can do the Gints and the Cowboys and the Patriots every week.'' - Fox play-by-play man Matt Vasgersian, asked by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch how difficult it was to do so many Rams games.

I stand corrected. Matt Vasgersian is the master of the understatement.


"It's a subject dear to their hearts. There's a problem in eastern Congo that has created thousands of refugees who really need help. Medical Teams International sends medical-aid supplies, as well as people. I want to thank Mr. Allen and Tod for letting me do this. A lot of us have way more than we need, and there's a lot of people in the world who have nothing. The people of Seattle and our fans have been so generous for any number of things over the years, and in my final game here, I'm glad we can do this.'' – Seahawks head Coach Mike Holmgren talking of the Seahawks management allowing Medical Teams International to solicite for donations during last Sunday’s game.

I’ve had some issues with The Walrus, but this is a wonderful thing his family does, and to make that how the team paid tribute to him in his last game is beautiful. Football is great fun, but it’s nice to see those within its hallowed halls not only remember the greater good, but to work hard for it.


“Isaac Bruce, catching his 1,000th ball Sunday in St. Louis (fitting) reminded me what a difficult time we're going to have as Hall of Fame electors with the wide receiver group. And it's only going to get more difficult as we let the logjam build.“ – SI.com’s Peter King

Ok, well, to harp on a tired point. How about you then just let the receivers simmer for a while and start putting in more offensive and defensive lineman and some damned kickers and punters. The election process should not be about names that sell tickets to the induction ceremony, but about the best football players who deserve to be enshrined.


"It's weird to think I was here in the hey-day.'' – Saints backup QB Joey Harrington, referring to Detroit after his Saints demolished the hapless Lions.

Hee hee, Lions hey day.


"We just can't finish.'' – Chiefs head coach Herm Edwards

Have some trouble starting them too, from the looks of your record.


"They don't understand the significance or the meaning of the towel itself to the organization, the Steelers history or the Steelers fans. On one hand, I think they were having fun and just playing with a towel. It was certainly not a shot at the organization or the players or the staff or the fans." – Titans head coach Jeff Fisher

What a load of manure. They most certainly knew, otherwise they would not have made such a show of it especially for the cameras. They knew exactly what it meant and what they were doing.


Idiot of the week

Initially, I thought of giving this to the dinkus Pat fans who lashed out at the author of this piece because he hypothesized the Patriots might dump Tom Brady for Matt Cassel.

Forget the grammatical errors, the fact most posts read like the author was hammered and that the entire article is nothing more than a theoretical scenario, they are missing the point. The Patriot brain trust is ruthless. If they think a move will improve the team, they will make it no matter how unpopular it may prove to be. Remember, this is the same team that threw uber versatile Troy Brown to the curb with nary a moment of sentimentalism. If Belichick and Pioli thought they would be better long term with Cassel than with Brady, Tom Terrific would be on a rail out of town faster than you could say wicked depressing.

But no, this week they were far overshadowed. And yes, I’ll bet you already know where this will go.

This week, the dishonor of idiot goes to LenDale White, Keith Bullock and Jevon Kearse for their disrespectful display of soiling Terrible Towels.

I almost included Jeff Fisher for his asinine defense of their actions, see above, but he’s just trying to keep the monster in the closet. But Jeff, it’s too late and you know it.

Never mind the rudeness of taking a beloved, if ridiculous, symbol of your opponent and desecrating it. You can even take away the insult of stomping on that team symbol after stomping on the team itself. Hey, people often celebrate too vigorously when feeling their oats.

No, the true stupidity of this moment is giving your opponent ammunition for the next time you see them. Teams, players, owners, staff and fans all feed off of perceived disrespect. If that were a false statement, we wouldn’t hear at least once a week someone yammering on about disrespect.

Taking a significant piece of your opponent’s history, lore and pantheon of treasured memorabilia, in this case Pittsburgh’s Terrible Towel, and stomping on it or blowing your nose on it is most certainly disrespectful. Yes, I know, it’s just a towel. But to Steeler fans it’s more than that. It’s tied into the team’s history, to their historic run of championships in the 70’s and to a beloved Pittsburgh icon who passed away this year.

To fans and players of the team, when you disrespect that, you disrespect those things and so much more. And the Steelers respond to such things. You think I’m kidding? Then why don’t you ask Chad Ocho Cinco and T.J. Houshmandzadeh. They did similar things to the Terrible Towel after a win in Pittsburgh in the 2005 season. And in case you don’t remember, in the playoffs that year en route to a Super Bowl win, Pittsburgh hammered Cincinnati and ended Carson Palmer’s season. Palmer and the Bungles have not been the same since. You think something similar won’t happen if Pittsburgh is forced to travel to Tennessee this year?

So for giving their opponent extra motivation in the future, and just in general being disrespectful morons, Kearse, White and Bullock you are all idiots.


On Tap This Week

Crap on a stick. So close, making such great gains and then…

Last week 9 - 7
Season to date 153 – 95

Lucky for me, everyone else did pretty poorly too. But now’s the test, who will be phoning it in and waiting for the playoffs and who will fight? You know what? For the first time in a long time, there will be many teams fighting. Oh, such good football to end the season with a bang. It’s a Festivus miracle!


Sunday

St. Louis (2-13) at Atlanta (10-5)

Atlanta fights this game for a chance at the division title. That’s too good of a story not to get behind. St. Louis quietly ends this travesty of a season.

Falcons over Rams


Jacksonville (5-10) at Baltimore (10-5)

Baltimore wins and their in the playoffs. That’s motivation enough. Well, not for Denver. Jacksonville quietly ends this travesty of a season.

Ravens over Jaguars


New England (10-5) at Buffalo (7-8)

The Patriots can still get in the playoffs and win the division. I’m sure Belichick will have the proper motivation to make that happen. Buffalo quietly ends this disappointment of a season.

Patriots over Bills


Kansas City (2-13) at Cincinnati (3-11-1)

Ummm, how about Kansas City and Cincinnati both quietly end this travesty of a season.

Bungles over Chiefs


Detroit (0-15) at Green Bay (5-10)

So close, so very close. You didn’t win one at home all season. Don’t screw it up now. Be memorable forever. If you complete this, you’ll be in NFL films highlight shows from now until the end of time! Go Lions! Green Bay quietly ends this frustrating season.

Packers over Lions


Chicago (9-6) at Houston (7-8)

Chicago needs help to make the playoffs, but the first thing they need to do is take care of business. And if they cannot beat a Houston team that got creamed by Oakland, then they do not deserve to go to the post season.

Bears over Texans


Tennessee (13-2) at Indianapolis (11-4)

Meaningless game for Tennessee, and surely they will rest starters. But it’s also a meaningless game for Indy and I’m sure they will be out to make a point.

Colts over Titans


New York Giants (12-3) at Minnesota (9-6)

One of the Williams boys will be out with an injury leaving the team susceptible to a strong running game. Sounds like an ideal situation for a now healthy and warming up Brandon Jacobs.

Giants over Vikings


Carolina (11-4) at New Orleans (8-7)

Brees needs 402 yards to break Marino’s record. Carolina still needs to lock up the division. I wonder with their running game if they’ll even let New Orleans have the ball for 15 minutes.

Panthers over Saints


Miami (10-5) at New York Favres (9-6)

Thanks to flex scheduling, the Favres will know if they have a chance to make the playoffs by the time their game kicks off. Regardless you get a good matchup including the Chad vs. Brett storyline and the possibility that this could be Brett’s last game! You know what; I’ll believe it when I see it. Brett’s cried wolf too much for me to care anymore.

Dolphins over Favres


Dallas (9-6) at Philadelphia (8-6-1)

I’d say Dallas having an opportunity in their hands to hit the playoffs would be motivating enough. But they’ve had that chance before and we’ve seen how they perform. Not that I trust Philly, but I trust the TO Show less.

Eagles over Cowboys


Cleveland (4-11) at Pittsburgh (11-4)

Who’s house? Hines house! Yeah, there could be some starters leaving the game early. I don’t think it will matter much though.

Steelers over Browns


Oakland (4-11) at Tampa Bay (9-6)

If Tampa Bay cannot beat Oakland at home with playoff hopes on the line, then perhaps Monte Kiffin leaving is a bigger internal problem than previously reported. Oakland quietly ends this travesty of a season.

Buccaneers over Raiders


Seattle (4-11) at Arizona (8-7)

I’m sorry, but I think Seattle just cares more, and Arizona is already limping into the playoffs.

Seahawks over Cardinals


Washington (8-7) at San Francisco (6-9)

I like San Fran’s moxie, but I’m gonna give this one to Washington. I think Zorn is coaching for his job.

Redskins over 49ers


Denver (8-7) at San Diego (7-8)

Oh, the big Sunday night game! The winner gets the division. And as some chuckleheads keep saying, this gives San Diego a chance to make amends for getting robbed early in the season. I still maintain if San Diego was a better team, they would have overcome Hochuli’s error. Luckily for Bolt fans, Denver has nothing left and they won’t need to blame the refs for their ineptitude as a team this time.

Chargers over Broncos

The Crystal Ball 2008 Week 16

Remember a few weeks ago I said that Pittsburgh is the Rodney Dangerfield of NFL teams right now? Well, it’s worse than just getting no respect. So they come up big with yet another tough win against a good team, and one would think that finally, someone would say something nice about what they’ve done so far this season. You know, amassing an 11-3 record against the toughest schedule in the league with each game being a playoff caliber game, and doing this week in and week out with an offensive line with 4 different starters than last year a rash of injuries and a punting problem reaching epic proportions.

No, everyone just focused on the touchdown catch and whether it counted. And when people weren’t losing their minds over that, they had to qualify every positive comment with some sort of caveat. They haven’t been beating good teams by getting the job done, they’re lucky. Yes, luck does play a part in any game, but it usually comes to those who are prepared.

But the verbal slights and arguments over a touchdown do not compare to these two insult beauties. First, only three Steelers were selected to the Pro Bowl. Three. They have the best defense in the NFL and two legitimate candidates for MVP, but only three players overall were selected. The Ravens have five; the Titans are sending six, and the Jets, who are collapsing faster than a flan, have seven headed for Hawaii.

And two, I found this factoid in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette. Has anyone realized that despite the most fearsome defense in the league racking up sacks like collecting troll dolls, Steelers opponents have not been called for offensive holding since November 3rd? Can you honestly tell me that none of those teams during that time period, which include the Colts, Chargers, Bengals, Patriots, Cowboys and Ravens, have never once had to resort to holding to keep Harrison and Company at bay? I know at least three of those teams are a mess and poorly disciplined in the basics of football. And Harrison was conspicuously absent against the Ravens, despite no less than three replays that I saw that showed him being held. Yet, oddly enough, no official threw a flag.

No respect? That’s minor; this seems more like a slap in the face.


Opening Kickoff

The Detroit Lions became the first team to amass a 0-14 record since the NFL moved to a 16 game regular season. The 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers remain in wait for an opportunity to pop their champagne corks.


Recap

So does Favre send Christmas presents to his defense, J.P. Losman or both this week?

I’m sorry, but while everyone else is falling all over themselves congratulating Andy Reid and Donavan McNabb, I have to say the Eagles are overrated. They beat an overmatched and over hyped Cardinals team and then smacked a reeling Giants team. They followed these achievements by running over the collapsing Browns, but McNabb still got picked off twice by their crappy secondary. If they make the playoffs, they’ll get bounced fast. Trust me on this; they are surging by playing terrible or folding competition.

I am one who loathes saying anything nice about the Patriots, for a multitude of reasons, but I would like to send condolences to Matt Cassel. Earlier last week Cassel’s father passed away, and he was able to come back and play a big game to keep the Patriots playoff hopes alive. Good luck Matt, it’s tough to lose a loved one and I hope you are doing well coping.

Condolences also go out to the Baugh family, who lost their patriarch Sammy Baugh this week. Slingin’ Sammy Baugh was one of the members of the very first Hall of Fame class and one of the individuals who helped evolve football to the game we know it today. Baugh’s propensity and ability pushed forward NFL offenses and helped turned passing from a desperation move to a vital part of the game plan. Baugh was a fine athlete and a versatile football player who also excelled as a defensive back and a punter. Here’s hoping his family can find some peace at this difficult time.

Chiefs President and GM Carl Peterson resigned this week, effective at the end of the season. And now Herm Edwards is contemplating leaving as well. See Kansas City, there is a Santa Claus.

If Clinton Portis is going to bitch about his coach and the lack of a running game, he had better produce on Sundays when he gets the ball. Nice drop of a perfectly good screen pass Clinton.

Did you know that Ben Roethlisberger has 50 wins for his career, the most by any quarterback in the first 5 years of his career in NFL History? To show you how impressive this is Donavan McNabb last week notched his 80th career win. This is McNabb’s 10th season.

The game was also the 17th win by the Steelers when tied or trailing in the 4th quarter with Roethlisberger under center. Hmmm, perhaps wearing that number 7 has some magical late game properties to it?

Dick Jauron, what are you thinking? Your running game was fine all you had to do was salt the game away with Lynch. Why the deuce was Losman even allowed near the ball other than to hand it to Marshawn?

Jim Haslett has enough problems with this crappy Rams team. Tell me why he thinks it’s a good idea try a wildcat play that sends his quarterback downfield as a receiver, thus exposing him to a hit and potential injury? And don’t tell me their desperate to win, they showed long ago the only thing the Rams are desperate for, other than not being shut out, is for the end of week 17.

I maintain that fortune favors the bold. And Jeff Fisher showed his boldness by going for it on 4th and 3 instead of attempting the field goal. Now I found his reasoning sound, but why would you put the ball on a fade pass instead of giving it to one of your uber running backs and pounding into the Texans? You had a sound decision but poor execution, Jeff.

Now why would Joey Porter pull his helmet off like that, drawing a penalty and risking losing the game and blowing the Fins playoff chances? Oh, right, because he loves the attention. I should have known that one.


The Steel Pit

Hmmm, how about that bounty on Hines Ward? Let’s see how well it worked. Hines finished the game with 8 receptions for 107, his third 100 yard game this season, including 3 huge catches on the final drive. He also moved past 10,000 receiving yards for his career with this game. Perhaps the Ravens should put a bounty on their mouths, since they’re constantly running with no repercussions.

What a tough, physical and gritty game played by both teams. But cream does tend to rise to the top, and that cream was a masterful 92 yard drive to close the game with touchdown by Pittsburgh and the defense finishing off the Ravens last second desperation drive with a beautiful interception by William Gay.

But is that what we heard all week? No, all everyone could talk about was the touchdown. Did Holmes have it in the end zone or not? Did the ball cross the plane or not? Did he have proper possession or not? I’ve heard arguments from all sides; that it looked inconclusive and no one could tell. That the officials should not have overturned the call on the field as no video replay showed conclusive evidence. I read a great article that stated the officials did the right thing by overturning the call on the field and made the correct call despite a hostile environment. Plus no less than 4 different writers I’ve perused this week brought up the argument of having all balls chipped and sensors over the goal line to know with indisputable evidence whether the ball crosses the plane.

Ok, I’ll admit that there were plenty of questions surrounding the catch. But if Baltimore were a better team, they would have never been in that position to begin with.

Unfortunately no one is focusing on the most important fact. The Steelers have overcome serious injuries especially along the offensive line and are 11-3 and in position to take the #1 seed in the NFL with the most difficult schedule in the league. But I’m harping now. Let’s savor the victory for the moment, the first for Pittsburgh in Baltimore since 2002, and take a look back at the good, the bad, the ugly and the just plain awful that was Pittsburgh at Baltimore.

Fast talking Willie Parker was named a captain for the game. It would seem with Tomlin, bygones really are bygones.

It’s a shame that a ball off the uprights is a dead ball. Otherwise that would have been a cool interception by Timmons.

Seriously, nobody has Chris Gardocki’s number?

I made a note that the running defense looked weak, so I checked after the game and saw they held the Ravens offense to 90 yards rushing and 202 total yards. Shows what I know.

Willie Colon gets the six shooter award for the game, as he was the one player who led the charge for the offense in shooting themselves in the foot. Colon was responsible for a holding penalty and a false start. And don’t get me started on the delay of game penalty.

Speaking of which, I’m beginning to think that Big Ben plays a game with himself, and that game is how close can I get to zero on the play clock without drawing a delay of game penalty. I wish he’d play the game get the play off without having 95% of Steeler fans screaming “CLOCK CLOCK CLOCK” for three straight hours.

Nate Washington is coming along nicely, although I think he still needs to work on his hands. Perhaps he should get a manicure with Hines one week, just to see if it helps.

So on a 3rd and 1, CBS flashed the stat that Pittsburgh converts 3rd and 1 only 43.5% of the time, the worst percentage in the NFL. What happens next? Big Ben tries a keeper, fumbles and its Ravens ball. Sometimes I swear if it weren’t for stress balls…..

Fox and Bailey are making their bones on special teams. And it’s paying off, who’s the team’s rookie of the year? Bailey, that’s who.

I scoffed when Jim Nantz said that Pittsburgh had a big game next week against the Titans. Jim, every Pittsburgh game is a big game. Have you seen the schedule? We’ve been playing playoff games for weeks now.

Santonio Holmes was having such a bad game I thought perhaps he got a bad batch of brownies. That is until that sweet touchdown catch.

Boy Mike Tomlin has a big grin and is not afraid to break it out. He must have learned that from Hines.

The weirdest part of the game was easily the personal foul on Jeff Reed on the point after attempt. First off, I howled because how often does a kicker get a personal foul? But I kept wondering why he incurred the penalty as they showed no replay. Then I found out the story. It would seem Raven Frank Walker dove, trying to take out Reed’s legs. Reed took obvious exception, Mitch Berger came over to separate them, and Walker spit in Berger’s face. Reed then shoved Walker and boom, 15 yard penalty. And you wonder why I take glee in pounding the Ravens.


NFL The Alternative Universe

Man, Ed Hochuli is not having his best season. First the admitted screw up in the Chargers/Broncos game. Then the cold weather sets in and he’s forced to keep those big pythons covered. And let’s be honest, that hurts all of us. But the worst happened during last week’s Seahawks/Rams game. Yes, just having to officiate that train wreck was punishment in and of itself. But the real embarrassment came when he pulled a groin muscle during the game, and then having the details of said injury broadcast through the PA when his microphone was accidently left on several times. Ed, at least no one saw your junk.

Bills head coach Dick Jauron anticipates returning next season to coach the Bills. Yeah, and I anticipate winning the lottery in the next three months but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.

In the latest news from Purgatory, also known as Raider Land, interim coach Tom Cable blasted now former assistant James Cregg for leaving the team and taking a job on Lane Kiffin’s staff at Tennessee. Cable felt it was wrong for Cregg to quit on the team and organization. Ok, that’s such a ridiculous statement, because Javon Walker quit on the team the minute he signed his contract. Why not call him out? When reached for comment, Al Davis mulled over firing Kiffin and then ordered the release of the hounds.

Remember last week when I showed my surprise at how Bungle fans were organized about getting the current regime ousted? Ha! They’ve got nothing on these desperate Browns fans. I guess they would be fine with losing numerous AFC Championship games. Well, when you haven’t seen one since Bernie Kosar took snaps, anything is better than the Romeo Crennel show.

49er quarterback Alex Smith said this week he would like to stay with the team next season. He would like another chance, and has said his relationship with former head coach Mike Nolan was tumultuous and did not lead to success for him or the team. Smith even said he’d restructure his contract and take a pay cut to stay. Man, he’s a glutton for punishment.

Wasn’t the little fluff piece where Eli and Tiki made nice so cute on SNF? It just warmed the cockles of one’s heart during this holiday season. Or perhaps that was the wings I ate at the beginning of the Steelers game coming back up on me.

If I had not seen them in Dallas Saturday night, I would have believed the NFL Network Postgame crew was probably still sitting in Jacksonville lionizing Peyton Manning. From their fawning I ascertained they were either trying to pump up the Peyton for MVP campaign or Manning cured cancer with his 17 straight completions.


Upon Further Review

One of the more enjoyable side notes to football is the player radio and television shows. You know these shows, produced by the local radio and television starring a popular player of a team, usually accompanied by a professional broadcaster. During the show they review the previous week’s game and look forward to next week. Sometimes they include some sort of wacky antic, always filled with some goofy fun. Pick any headline player for any team, and I’m sure you will find them with their own TV or radio show, sometimes both.

I bring this up because the Lady K and I had the pleasure of attending the taping of The Hines Ward Show this week. Now, obviously I’m a homer and would find enjoyment with anything Steeler related. That being said, what a good time!

We had seen the show before, and were familiar with its flow. The host starts the show, introduces Hines, they talk about last week, Hines brings out a teammate, they talk more, they play a goofy quiz game, talk about next week, show a video segment where Hines asks teammates in the locker room some absurd question, a cooking segment and then the kicker. Simple stuff packaged into a half hour format. But as with anything in life, it’s the little things that make it enjoyable.

First, Hines is great. With his 100,000 watt smile and friendly personality, he makes the show. He tells a good story, and is not worried about looking foolish. He has fun, even if it can be embarrassing to him, and loves to entertain. Often times Hines would continue speaking of a story he talked about on air during commercial breaks. He asked questions of the audience and signed autographs without question. Watching him you just felt like if you stripped away his job and wealth, he’d be a great guy to hang out with.

But it’s all of the other stuff too. The teammate he invites onto the show, they always have great camaraderie. The quiz segment, which is very loosely judged and always has at least one questionable call go in Hines’ favor, always followed by the statement “well it is the Hines Ward Show” and then peals of laughter. Weekly contest winners get to sit in the front row and receive an autographed bottle of Heinz ketchup. It’s so ridiculous you just have to laugh, and hope next week you win so you can get that prized bottle. The off center woman who hosts the cooking segment, she seems to have a few screws loose, but she’s great fun. And of course seeing Hines and his guests in ketchup red aprons as they whip up a dish is always funny, add in the Heinz chef’s hat Hines dons, and then we’ve achieved high comedy.

For as serious as the NFL likes to portray itself, and more than a few media outlets are happy to oblige, it’s nice to see some absurdity and good fun still exist in the NFL universe. If a player on your favorite team has a show like this, don’t just watch, go to a taping. It’s more enjoyable to soak it in live than on tape. Just go and revel in the wacky fun that can still be had with the NFL. Trust me, you will not regret it. And if you do and find some really crazy fun, send them in to us here; we’d love to hear about them.


He Said He Said

“I'd be shocked if Reid and offensive coordinator Marty Mornhinweg go back to throwing it 65 or 70 percent of the time. Ever. And certainly not tonight against a team they ought to be able to beat into submission.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Prepare to be shocked.


"That would be nice, have everything come through our home field would be real nice. I don't like flying much." – Steelers DE Aaron Smith

I like flying Aaron, but I can’t afford to follow you cats all over this year. So home games would be sweet.


"I didn't know a little 6-foot, 200-pound wideout, 32 years old, is causing so much of an uproar in Baltimore." – Steelers WR Hines Ward

Hee hee, yes you did and you love it.


“Things happened early in my career. There’s something that drives all of us who have been in this game for a long time. For me, a lot of it is trying to atone for those things so that they’re not my legacy.” – Titans QB Kerry Collins

Having peripherally known Kerry at Penn State, although I doubt he’d remember a little guy like me, I’m glad to see him not only make his life better but also have a resurgence of professional success. Well, except for this week and perhaps once in the playoffs.


I think it was a lack of professionalism on Ed Werder's behalf, just to come up with some of that stuff. Honestly I don't know where none of this stuff came from." – Cowboys WR Terrell Owens speaking of reports regarding a rift between him, Tony Romo and Jason Witten.

Uh, oh I know TO. He came up with it by doing investigative reporting and found out information from your locker room about how big of an ass you are.


“Build an entire season on the kind of razor's edge victory the Pittsburgh Steelers have specialized in these past four months, and, well, you start to think you might be special enough to ride the wave all the way to that big confetti shower at the Super Bowl.” – SI.com’s Don Banks

Don, NO! Let’s keep all that team of destiny stuff under wraps until say February 1st, ok?


“If I had to vote right now, I’d vote for James Harrison. He’s just been phenomenal in anchoring a defense that’s playing as well as anyone in the league and he does so many things for them.” – Colts Head Coach Tony Dungy when asked who he would vote for regarding the NFL MVP award.

Now if a defensive minded man like Dungy, who played for the Steel Curtain, would recommend Harrison over his own quarterback what does that tell you?


Idiot of the week

Ok, honestly I thought about giving this week’s award to Terrell Owens for the whole Werder said but I never said nonsense. But truthfully, I’m tired of TO. Well, except when he puts on the petulant child routine at the end of a Cowboy’s loss.

No, this week the award goes to Buccaneer defensive end Greg White. White, following in the hallowed footsteps of Chad Ocho Cinco, legally changed his name to Stylez G. White. White said he chose the name from the character of Rupert “Stiles” Stilinski, the side kick in the cinematic masterpiece Teen Wolf.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love when people show their wacky side. And I even love when people take said side so far as to make total fools of themselves. Hey, I’ve been crowing for months to Free Ocho Cinco. No, these are not why Stylez G gets the prize.

Why he gets it is because he chose a moronic name from a dumb character in a sub par throw away 80’s movie, and then told everyone about it. Seriously, if you want change your name to that of some off beat 80’s character, why not Chet from Weird Science, Long Duk Dong from Sixteen Candles, Chunk from The Goonies or Turbo from Breakin 2 Electric Boogaloo? Or you could go totally 80’s and just change your name to Zabka. Yeah!

So for picking a dumb new name, and for even dumber reasons, and missing out on an ideal opportunity to pave the way for future Zabkas, Stylez G you are an idiot.


On Tap This Week

We’ll settle a bunch of playoff spots this week. Hopefully, my late season push and send me to the money playoffs.

Last week 12-4
Season to date 144 – 88

That’s the way to go. And what’s even better, this week we get 4 days of football! Welcome back Saturday night game!


Thursday

Indianapolis (10-4) at Jacksonville (5-9)

Ok, so I watched Peyton and company, I wanted to see the team no one will want to play in the playoffs. Why should any playoff team be scared? If Jacksonville had a better defense and a smarter coach, that game would not have been close. The only thing keeping that team, its questionable running game and porous defense afloat is Peyton Manning. And we all know he can be rattled.

Colts over Jaguars


Saturday

Baltimore (9-5) at Dallas (9-5)

I think Ray Ray and company will be super pissed enough to go into Big D and embarrass the insane asylum known as the 2008 Cowboys in front of their fans and all those former Cowboys in the last regular season game in Texas Stadium history. And considering how the Cowboys are crapping out, probably the last one ever.

Ravens over Cowboys


Sunday

Cincinnati (2-11-1) at Cleveland (4-10)

Who sucks worse? Hmmm, that’s a tough one. I’m gonna go with……

Browns over Bungles


Pittsburgh (11-3) at Tennessee (12-2)

Wow, this game could decide the number one seed in the AFC. Who saw this coming? And with Albert Haynesworth out with a sprained knee, Willie Parker might just get his wish for more running action.

Steelers over Titans


San Francisco (5-9) at St. Louis (2-12)

Well, at least Singletary won’t have to do something wacky to inspire a win this week.

49ers over Rams


San Diego (6-8) at Tampa Bay (9-5)

Norv Turner takes another bold step toward the unemployment line.

Buccaneers over Chargers


New Orleans (7-7) at Detroit (0-14)

Drew Brees needs 753 yards passing to pass Dan Marino’s single season yardage record. With nothing left to play for this season, I wonder if Sean Payton will just air it out all day long. I bet he does, as who doesn’t enjoy Marino send congratulations through gritted teeth to the latest person to break one of his records.

Saints over Lions


Miami (9-5) at Kansas City (2-12)

I read that this will be Miami’s first true cold weather game this season. I’d say that would work against a warm weather team, but they are playing the Chiefs who cannot even beat the underachieving Chargers after posting a 17-0 lead.

Dolphins over Chiefs


Arizona (8-7) at New England (9-5)

Hmmm, Arizona’s passing game in the wintry mix that is New England in late December. Plaxico Burress has a better chance of getting into another night club in sweat pants than Warner has.

Patriots over Cardinals


Buffalo (6-8) at Denver (8-6)

Buffalo has a better defense, no doubt. So I wonder how Jauron will blow the game this week. Oh, the intrigue is almost palpable.

Broncos over Bills


New York Favres (9-5) at Seattle (3-11)

I went back and forth on this one, as the Jets are fighting for the division and the playoffs, and Seattle has been less than stellar this season. But two things keep creeping into my mind. One, Seattle has shown some fight despite being undermanned and outgunned. And two, it will be cold and snowy, and we’ve seen how Favre performs in those conditions as of late. Not that he's been performing well lately in general. And I bet Holmgren has something left in store for his old protégé. Let’s take a chance here…

Seahawks over Favres


Houston (7-7) at Oakland (3-11)

Al Davis will spend the game wondering why the Oilers changed their uniforms and name then figure it’s probably Pete Rozelle’s fault and take a nap. Ahhh, commitment to excellence.

Texans over Raiders


Atlanta (9-5) at Minnesota (9-5)

Tarvaris Jackson did some nice work last week, enough to get the starting nod this week. That’s right Childress; create a quarterback controversy when trying to fight for a division title.

Falcons over Vikings


Philadelphia (8-5-1) at Washington (7-7)

At least Philly didn’t outright lose to the Bungles. If you can call that justification for making a pick, with these two it’s all I’ve got.

Eagles over Redskins


Carolina (11-3) at New York Giants (11-3)

Holy moly, this game is for the top seed in the NFC. That’s two games this weekend with the overall conference seeding hanging in the balance. Oh, our football cup runneth over. And I think after today, there will be two new top dogs in each conference.

Panthers over Giants


Monday

Green Bay (5-9) at Chicago (8-6)

Ugh, I feel bad for Packer fans. I just hope they know where to place the blame, firmly on Ted Thompson and the underachieving defense and not Aaron Rodgers. Go Neck Beard.

Bears over Packers

The Crystal Ball 2008 Week 15

As I watch the snow falling outside my window and think of the holidays rapidly approaching, my mind wanders to the wonderful gifts bestowed upon me, a beautiful wife, a fat and affectionate cat, a fun and loving puppy and a wicked defense. Could a boy ask for much more?


Opening Kickoff

Penn State fans who remember 1994 turned to their Longhorn brethren this week and said, See what we’ve been complaining about for 14 years? No better is the BCS? Now do you believe us when we bellow playoffs?


Recap

The Arizona Cardinals clinched their division and now will host at least one playoff game. And somewhere where warmth used to be a constant, the Devil asked a minion to put a few more logs on the fire.

The New York Giants also clinched their division despite losing at home. How did they accomplish this feat? By virtue of the Cowboys losing, of course. Oh, and Giant fans, you’re welcome.

The Tennessee Titans clinched their division and secured at least a first round bye. Somewhere, Peyton wept.

Funny, with three weeks to go Titans can step back and relax a bit. But Pittsburgh, holding onto the 2nd seed, still needs to play lights out just to keep ahead of the surging Ravens and the other barbarians at the gate. A scary thought to think that one screw up could lead us to losing the division and potentially the playoffs. Please, NFL, next season can we play a few other crappy teams other than the Browns and Bungles? Maybe the Lions or Rams?

The two teams from Texas each played in cold weather climates with only one ending in predictable results. Green Bay, where have you gone?

Jared Allen can complain all he wants about Gosder Cherilus’ hit. But that’s just karmic payback for that pseudo mullet hairstyle and a head band. Come on Allen, this isn’t 1985. And really, can a man who’s been fined as much as he has been this season, and his career, really complain about a hit, especially one that was legal?

Seriously Marinelli? A quarterback sneak against the best tackle tandem in the league? No wonder the Lions are 0-13.

When is Eric Mangini going to learn how to call plays that accentuate what Favre has left in the tank and disguise what he no longer has in his arsenal? Yes it’s a hard mix, but after 14 games one should be able to figure it out. Even McCarthy did.

Oh, by the way, to all future Jet opponents here’s a tip. Brett’s arm strength is gone. Stuff 8 in the box to stop Jones and Washington and keep the coverage short. Then you force Brett to throw long and then pick him off underneath. You’ll do fine. And to think they got rid of Pennington because of the arm strength issue.

Oh, cookie of the week to Jason David of the Saints! After an interception against the Falcons, David leapt up from being tackled and proceeded to perform an excellent Carlton Banks dance. Easily it was the most entertaining celebration of the year so far.


The Steel Pit

What is the sign of a great team? A great team overcomes numerous problems and poor performances and still finds a way to win. Sunday showed everyone a great team and breakthrough performance. I managed to make it through the entire Cowboys/Steelers tilt, which was far closer than I hoped, without going postal and destroying the television despite the fact that I had to listen to Joe Buck for three hours. That’s greatness realized, kids.

Pittsburgh showed some signs of that greatness Sunday, overcoming a less than exciting offensive start and overcoming a desperate yet fracturing Cowboys team. Here is some of the highlights and lowlights I noted while trying to drown the ringing echo of, “you’re absolutely right Joe.”

Big Ben makes his bones by his improvisational skills. But he can be hot or cold and some games, like this one, it drove me insane. Ben, sometimes it’s ok to just throw the ball away and regroup.

And Ben and Heath had a legitimate point on the interference call, and all the interference non calls on Dallas, but complaining will not get you anywhere but frustrated. Just regroup and hit them again.

Nate Washington has come a long way, but some of those easy passes show me he still has a long way to go.

Speaking of Nate, I still have trouble believing he got up from that disturbing tackle by Ken Hamlin, who worked hard to twist Washington’s leg off. First, that was just dirty. It may not have gotten called, or fined, but everyone watching could see he purposely twisted Nate’s leg, not just tried to pull him down. Hamlin should have been thrown from the game and should be thrown for the season. Second, what was that Ken, trying to get some payback for your former team, Seattle, choking in Super Bowl XL? You feel better this week trying to exact revenge with a dirty play? I can’t see how you would, because Nate was fine, your Cowboys lost and your Seahawks still choked. Deal with it.

If Santonio Holmes keeps making clutch catches, I’ll go cruising around the Burgh with him any day.

Really guys, you’re getting gouged by Rashard Choice? Good gravy. The only bad thing the defense did all day, but it could have made the game much worse.

That’s not true; the pass rush from the interior line seemed a bit stale this week too. Although I shant complain since James Harrison showed once again he’s a man amongst boys. I hate to mention it, much like talking to a pitcher during a no hitter, but there has been talk of Harrison for MVP. Now that would be huge. Ok, I’ll shut up now.

The defensive good equaled 5 total takeaways including 3 interceptions, a shutdown of the Cowboy offense in the 4th quarter and the winning points. Not bad.

One thing I’ve noticed, especially since the defense has been directly responsible for winning at least two games this season, is that they do their job exceptionally well. Ok, no surprise or insight there, but they do more than impose their will on opposing offenses. The Steeler defense keeps the team in the game long enough for the offense, which has started slow numerous times, to catch up and get the team ahead.

I kept hoping all day that Ryan Clark would nail TO like he did Wes Welker. The funny thing is Deshea Townsend nailed TO without even touching him. And God bless Deshea Townsend, the man may be ninety, but good gravy he can still play.

Oh, I just loved the sight of TO yapping his gums bitching incessantly on the Dallas sidelines. It was just such a treat. TO, do you want to know why Romo would look elsewhere at the most critical juncture of a game? See your lazy route running at the beginning of the game that led to a Polamalu interception. And by the way, happy birthday TO.

Steeler fans should thank him though. Troy would have never had that super easy interception if Owens didn’t dog it on that route and pass. Thanks TO!

The offense despite poor running and too many floaters was ok; they did mount a comeback and put themselves and the team in a position to win.

Some might complain it was stupid, but I loved the idea of going for it on 4th and 1, even though we got nothing out of the drive. Look, when you make those tough calls, you put the onus to win on your offense. Plus, you show the defense how much confidence you have in them to stop the other team if things fail. That’s a beautiful thing. But until the team really starts assigning those tough yards to Gary Russell and building him up as a power short yardage back, it’s not going to work often. And it hasn’t since Pittsburgh is 2 for 11 on short yardage 4th down attempts this season.

After the Steelers scored their only offensive touchdown, the cameras showed Dan Rooney in the owners box say go for two then chuckle a bit. Dan did you see the offense all day?

I love Gary Russell and Mewelde Moore for the simple reason that they run like men who need a job. They play inspired and fearless, and we need more of that in the running game. Willie Parker used to run like that, but now he seems tentative and does not have the speed to hit the corners. Perhaps his knee is not quite right, or perhaps he just doesn’t trust it yet, but he’s not the same Parker. It would be in the best interest of the team, especially since the running game needs some help, to just send out Russell and Moore and occasionally throw in Parker.

Well, Willie Parker seems to feel the running game needs help as well, and vented to the press his feelings on the issue. Parker feels the team is getting away from Steelers football, and a lack of commitment to the run will hurt them come playoff time. He also complained that the two tight end set is not conducive to the power running game. It would seem Fast Willie misses a full back to plow the road for him. Considering the state of the running game lately, I can understand his frustration. Everyone would prefer to see Pittsburgh with a strong running game and the ability to run over opposing defenses. But he has two things wrong. One, those are big words from a man who has looked like a shadow of himself. Not a shadow of last year’s self, but a shadow of the man who started at running back at the beginning of this season. And two, airing your issues in the press is never a good idea.

And two was born out a few days later as Tomlin responded rather tersely to questions regarding Parker’s comments. He said he comes to work and walks past 5 Lombardi trophies, not 5 rushing titles. Maintained that the important thing is winning football games, and did agree that the running game needs to improve but so it can contribute to the team’s winning ways, which is the bottom line. And he also went on to say that Parker should watch what he says so as not to have his comments misconstrued as selfish.

"He needs to be a little more careful with things he says and how he says it because it can be misinterpreted as uninformed or selfish, of which he is neither,"

The threat was veiled, but it was there. Keep your pie hole shut and do your job.

The thing is they both have a point. Tomlin is right; the most important thing is coming away with a victory. But Parker is correct too, the most successful teams have a strong running game. Not just because it makes the offense multi dimensional, but also because if you can use the running game to keep the ball and the offense on the field, you eat up clock and let your defense rest. That makes the other unit stronger as well. Parker’s concerns are legitimate, but he should know where to voice them. Leave the bitching about the running game to those of us who watch the games. We’ll keep you covered. You just concentrate on running that ball.

And this week, you and your mates had best be hyper focused.


NFL The Alternative Universe

Oh, the weirdness of the NFL has been almost epic this week. It’s like Christmas came early. The only question, where to start?

The NFLPA has decided it would be in their best interest to appeal the fine and suspension levied by the Giants upon Plaxico “sweatpants” Burress. Hey NFLPA, have you ever heard of the axiom the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few? It seems lately you’re working harder on the needs of the few, players punished for misbehaving or breaking team and league rules, than the needs of the many, getting a viable CBA worked out before 2010. Good work guys; keep strangling that golden goose.

Fox pulled a huge boner, or at least a flaccid, this week. In an attempt to get the news we all want, specifically Vikings owner Zygi Wilf presenting a game ball to Brad “periodic table” Childress in the Minnesota locker room, Fox cameras accidently got a shot of Vikings tight end Visanthe Shiancoe only partially covered by a towel. The cameras broadcast Shiancoe in all his partially exposed glory, much to the embarrassment of Fox and the NFL. At least Vikings fans can finally cheer that Shiancoe is now making some sort of impact on the team.

Kicker and all time NFL leading scorer Mort Anderson officially retired this week at the age of 48. Now if he does not make the Hall of Fame, we’ll know the selection committee is completely biased and full of crap.

The NFL announced this week that because of the impact of the current economic situation in the country, they would be cutting approximately 10 percent of their league staff. I guess now that Spy Gate is settled, Goodell doesn’t really need the added manpower.

Adam “I’m still Pacman despite my protestations otherwise” Jones may be out for the remainder of the season due to a neck injury sustained in Sunday’s Cowboys/Steelers collision. Awww, just when he was finally pulling his life together.

The loquacious Joey Porter shared more of his unique take on life, love and the NFL this week, this time chiming in on his opinion of the Plaxico Burress situation. According to Joey, who feels that Plaxico is like a brother to him that Plaxico is being treated unfairly in the media and that NFL players that carry a gun is more about safety than a toughness standpoint. Joey has a more personal view on such things from being shot in the past outside a club, and I will not question nor begrudge his opinion because of that. But really Joey is Plaxico being treated unfairly? He had an unregistered, unlicensed handgun in his possession. When he shot himself, which was an accident, he then implored a teammate to dispose of it illegally, thus implicating said teammate, and lied about his identity to medical professionals required to report such incidents to the police. That’s a massive amount of stupidity, is he really being treated unfairly? And if that doesn’t convince you otherwise, remember this. He was at a nightclub wearing sweatpants! What I really want to know is how soon until someone gives this man his own talk show? ESPN, you surely have some airtime that could use some ratings.

Everybody’s favorite former running back and felon O.J. Simpson was sentenced this week to at least nine years in prison. Simpson was sentenced to the maximum of 33 years in prison, but could be eligible for parole in 9 years. Despite his pleas for mercy from the court, even invoking his children, the judge threw the book at him. I have heard that his sentence was gratuitous and merely payback for his lack of conviction in his murder trial. Yeah, I can see that reasoning. Perhaps those who maintain this point are correct. You know what, I don’t care. I say lock him up until the end of time. He’s a punk and a jerk and as far as I’m concerned he can rot in prison. Goodbye Juice, it’s been long overdue.

I thought O.J. would be my favorite story, but I was wrong. No, my favorite story is that of everyone’s most loved malcontent Terrell Owens. According to more than a few reports, Owens is upset with how things are progressing in Dallas. NO! I know you are just as shocked as I am!

The rub for TO, according to reports, apparently lies in the relationship between Tony Romo and tight end Jason Witten. It would seem that TO is angry at Romo and jealous of Witten, who has been the more productive receiver for the Cowboys this season in TO’s mind. TO feels that Romo and Witten are holding private meetings and concocting plays for game days while excluding the greatest receiver of all time in his mind, TO.

Looking at the numbers, TO has 55 catches and has been thrown to 105 times for 848 yards and 9 touchdowns. Witten has 64 catches and has been thrown to 88 times for 771 yards and 3 touchdowns. Ignoring the fact that TO leads Witten and the Cowboys in yards, attempts and touchdowns, I guess TO be ego demands he cry about the fact that he is trailing in actual receptions. Hmmm, why might this be? Could it be because Witten actually tries to catch every ball thrown in his direction unlike TO who only catches the easy ones, rarely puts himself physically on the line and is more interested in personal statistics and not the team good? Now you tell me why Romo might trust Witten just a tad more?

First, what the heck is this, the NFL or The Hills? Second, who’s surprised by this? Certainly not 49er or Eagles fans, who expected something of this nature eventually to happen. And definitely not me, who even said it two years ago after the Cowboys first signed TO. As a matter of fact, here’s what I said verbatim.

“TO will quickly lose his good teammate image he is desperately trying to show us and slide right back into TO, locker room cancer. As soon as he starts feeling like he is getting short changed, look out. Dallas, you have been forewarned.”

Just call me Nostradamus. Owens may have the stats for the Hall of Fame, but he’s a terrible teammate and an egomaniacal narcissist. If things are going well and he’s getting attention and the ball, he’s as happy as a clam. If anything deviates from the TO show, then he’s always at DEFCON 5 ready to melt down faster than Chernobyl. And as soon as the team’s fortune starts going south, here is exactly what TO does. He starts complaining about not getting the ball enough, then starts complaining about his teammates, then calls people out, then yells at people on the sideline, then starts tanking plays or taking them off blatantly, then when the team hits a losing streak he throws people under the bus especially the quarterback. If you doubt this, ask Jeff Garcia or Donovan McNabb if any of this sounds familiar. Look over the past few games with this checklist in mind and I beg you to show me how it does not fit. Did anyone see the tire marks on Romo in his post game interview? I did. The funniest part of all this? TO’s tearful press conference last year “defending” Romo. Oh, what heady innocent days they were.

TO however is only one part, significant as it may be, of the Cowboys’ current issues. Their problem is they are a collection of names, faces, and infamy instead of an actual team. Now who would have thought that amassing a collection of me first, egotistical head cases with talent would have eventually backfired causing a colossal internal team meltdown in today’s 24/7 media world? Oh, I don’t know, maybe EVERYBODY? Well, everybody except for Al Davis.


Upon Further Review

The federal judge reviewing the suspension of six players for violating the NFL’s anti-doping policy extended his injunction, which allows each of the players to play for the remainder of the season. One player is on injured reserve and would not play anyway but it does clear the path for three Saints players and Minnesota Vikings defensive tackles Kevin and Pat Williams to suit up each week.

As has been reported, each player tested positive for a banned diuretic that can be used as a masking agent for steroids. While it may have been used for it, when it comes to the Williams boys I believe it was really used as a weight loss tool, as both players have weight clauses in their contracts.

The federal judge has asked the lawyers for both the NFL and the players union to propose a schedule for further proceedings and an eventual hearing, a process that could take months. What is at stake here is a four game suspension for each player.

Two things bother me about this situation. One, these substances were discovered in random tests in training camp. Why did it take until last month for the NFL to merit punishment on these players? Should they not have been sitting out the first 4 games of the season? I have this same question about the Matt Jones suspension as well. I’m not saying Matt didn’t deserve his suspension for being arrested on cocaine charges because he did. I want to know why did it the suspension come so late in the season when the arrest happened last summer.

The other thing that bothers me, and I know I’m taking a gigantic leap here, is the judge reviewing this case. Perhaps I’m too jaded, cynical, or a half glass empty sort of guy, but I think I’ve seen enough scandal in my lifetime to know that if I smell smoke, somewhere two sticks are rubbing together. And it’s this sort of internal alarm that has been shrieking in overdrive since I heard the federal judge overseeing this case is a U.S. district judge based in Minneapolis.

Mind you, I am accusing this man of nothing. Nor has he shown thus far any reason to be investigated or even questioned. But it does make me wonder why suspensions for two key Vikings defensive players would be suspended, at least temporarily, by a judge based in Minnesota when said Vikings are in a dog fight for their division and the playoffs.

I’m willing to take things as they are playing out at face value. But if this process which has now been said to take months suddenly accelerates rapidly as soon as the Vikings season ends, either by missing the playoffs or by being eliminated in the post season, I’m screaming rat as loud as I can and will seriously begin to wonder about the integrity of the NFL and the NFLPA. I already question it after Spy Gate, this will make me outright question Goodell and how he runs things.

And three and finally, why is no one else making this potentially nefarious connection? Last year anyone with a word processor was more than happy to find evil in anything the Patriots did. But this situation, where it does smell at least a bit suspicious, goes unnoticed? If something does come of this I must say I will be more than overly disappointed in the supposed journalists that actually cover the NFL for a living have not found it at least worthwhile to make a phone call or two to follow up on what could be the scandal of the year. Seriously, why does no one employ me to cover the NFL?


He Said He Said

"In my 11 years, this is probably the worst team, emphasize the word 'team,' that I've been on. We have some outstanding players, but the mix is bad. We can't really find that chemistry that we need. ... We don't have that mix and it's just tough right now." – Jaguars RB Fred Taylor

It must be bad, if Fred is now injured to the point where he cannot play three games. Is he?


"What a beautiful game, and I mean that. I just told the team that. People are too preoccupied with style points. That was a beautiful football game because we displayed mettle and we hung together." – Steelers Head Coach Mike Tomlin

Ok, I’ll agree parts of it were beautiful, fair enough?


"I've heard about the billboards. I don't rush out to pillory myself and look at them.'' - Bengals owner, president and GM Mike Brown, on four billboards put up around Cincinnati by a protesting group of fans.

Wait, Bungle fans are organized?


"It's a pleasure to be in the presence of so many Giants' fans, all of whom I believe are unarmed.'' – NBC News anchor Brian Williams at a March of Dimes luncheon

How did he know, was no one wearing sweat pants?


"Not until we win that first game will I feel good about anything.'' – Detroit LT Jeff Backus

If the game comes next season will it still feel good?


“Paul's immense drive to come back, the movement he has forced into his right arm and leg, the ability to make us understand he is all there, his humor intact. He is a superhero, as one of our daughters calls him. That statement alone would send him reeling in pain, so don't tell him I actually said that in print!” – Linda Zimmerman

That sounds about right. Keep fighting back Dr. Z. I would have loved to hear what you had to say about the Steelers the last two weeks. The victories seem a tiny bit empty without your analysis, even though I know you would have blasted Pittsburgh’s anemic offense.


“The Lions haven't won since the presidency of James K. Polk.'' – NBC’s Keith Olbermann

Now Keith, that’s an exaggeration. You know they’ve won as recently as the Truman administration.


“The bylaws of the Hall of Fame mandate that players be considered for enshrinement based on on-field accomplishments only. I'm opposed to rewriting the rules and including some sort of morals clause. Murder or participation in an armed heist is certainly more serious, obviously. But it is not our job as a Hall of Famer board of selectors to sit in moral judgment of a man. If it is, then 44 members of the football news media should not be the only arbiters for entry to the Hall. We'd need a couple of moral compasses in the room. Is that how we want to elect Hall of Famers? It's not how I think we should do it”. – SI.com’s Peter King

That’s a good point Peter. But tell me this, if this stance you put forth is true, then why was Michael Irvin not a first ballot Hall of Famer much like his celebrated teammates? It seems his delay was more of a punishment for off the field behavior in his career. Standing on that moral block you’ve carved only makes sense when you can show consistency in how you evaluate potential Hall of Famers. For that matter, it would seem to be a good idea to have other input than the current 44 members of the football news media. Perhaps some outside influence would help get linemen and kickers elected instead of the almost constant parade of running backs, receivers and quarterbacks.


“He can play with that injured toe. He can play with the soreness and a combination of those things. I see nothing that led us to believe he couldn’t.” – Cowboys owner Jerry Jones

Jones predictably backtracked later in the week. Why not just tell the truth Jerry instead of blowing smoke? You were pissed you lost the game in Pittsburgh, pissed you spent so much on this flagging team and pissed the chances you took on some wacky head cases was not paying off and all you could think of was what might have been if you had Barber so you lashed out at him. Now was that so hard?


"Ten and three, that's what it means to me." – Steelers safety Troy Polamalu when asked what it meant to him to lead the league in interceptions.

If only TO thought the same way.


"There's only one ball to go around. Yes, we all want the ball, but right now we don't need to have distractions. It's all about the team. We're 10-3, and whatever we rank in offensive stats, we got to put all that aside with egos.” - Steelers WR Hines Ward

Ok, be honest. Who does not want a Hines Ward on their team? From a football player standpoint, receiver standpoint and leadership standpoint, he might be the best player in Steeler history, with the exception of course of Mean Joe Greene. Man I’m so lucky to have a Hines jersey. Who’s house????


“I am now actively rooting against the Steelers after Ryan Clark's Jack Tatum-esque cheap shot on Wes Welker. If that had been done to a quarterback, he would have been handcuffed on the spot, thrown in jail and banned from professional football. The Karma Police are coming for you, Ryan Clark. You just wait” – ESPN.com’s Bill Simmons

Oh really Bill? I guess you would be an expert on Karma, considering the Patriots season thus far.


Idiot of the week

I love weeks like this, when idiots just line up for the title. I had so many to chose from I almost fell into a paralysis of analysis. Between Ken Hamlin, Rob Marinelli, Jerry Jones, Pacman Jones and possibly even Barnaby Jones, so many people just wanted to be an idiot before Christmas. But this week we go with one of my favorite writers, ESPN.com’s Bill Simmons.

Simmons garners this week’s dishonor for maintaining the Karma Police will come after Steelers safety Ryan Clark for his vicious, yet completely legal, hit on Wes Welker. Now Simmons is an unabashed Patriots fan, and that’s fine. I am an unabashed Steelers fan, and that is fine too. I just wanted to throw those facts out for full disclosure before going any further.

Now yes if that were Hines Ward and Rodney Harrison nailed him coming across the flat, I’d be pissed too. I was pissed when Santonio Holmes got tattooed in the Bungles game. But just because you do not like the hit don’t go crying about it. This is what I hate most about Boston fans. When they do something, it’s perfectly fine. But as soon as someone else inflicts the same punishment upon them, they cry faster than a PETA member watching Free Willie. And that’s exactly what Simmons is doing right now, crying and whining.

There was nothing wrong with Clark’s hit. As a matter of fact, that’s the kind of football we should be seeing more of instead of pansy lawyer ball where we challenge and question every play. But because it was against his beloved Patriots, Simmons took a huge exception to it. He didn’t accept it as a part of football, a part he surely cheered over the past few years when the above mentioned Harrison was the one inflicting the punishment. He automatically went into whiner mode and cried about it. Never mind his Patriots were getting their asses handed to them in the game; no just blame the other team for being “dirty”.

But I have to ask Bill a few questions. First, did you ever think that perhaps Clark’s hit was just Karma inflicting a little more punishment on the Patriots for 7 straight years of cheating? No? So then Tedy Bruschi’s injury in the Seattle game was just the normal circumstances of a game and not karmic payback. You can’t have it both ways. Ok, well if you really believe in the power of Karma then tell me have you seen Tom Terrific lately? No? That’s a shame.

Look Bill, your Pats got whooped by a better team, plain and simple. I know it hurts like a mother. Come on your Pats have had my Steelers number for years now and every time it’s hurts, and especially did in the two AFC Championship games. But just because you got bested once doesn’t mean you go screaming foul. So for being a whiny, crying, bitching, poor sport, you know a typical Boston fan, Simmons you are an idiot.


On Tap This Week

Cool, a sweet week.

Last week 12 – 4
Season to date 132 – 84

Oh, wait; others had an even sweeter week. Drat.


Thursday

New Orleans (7-6) at Chicago (7-6)

It’ll be cold in Chicago. The only way to win will be to stay warm. Its times like these when you need a neck beard.

Bears over Saints


Sunday

Tampa Bay (9-4) at Atlanta (8-5)

Now here’s a test for Matt Ryan. Ok, after watching last week, I think it’s more of a treat for Michael Turner. And since no NFC South team has won a division game on the road yet this season, I do not feel good about the Bucs without Jeff Garcia.

Falcons over Buccaneers


San Francisco (5-8) at Miami (8-5)

It may be time to take Singletary seriously. He has his charges playing tough. And to think we thought it was ridiculous to drop trousers but a few weeks ago.

Dolphins over 49ers


Seattle (2-11) at St. Louis (2-11)

Hello worst game of the week. Hello another Ram loss at home.

Seahawks over Rams


San Diego (5-8) at Kansas City (2-11)

Ok, so the under achieving team with a terrible coach, or the crappy team with a terrible coach? Decisions, decisions…

Chargers over Chiefs


Buffalo (6-7) at New York Favres (8-5)

Eh, I guess the Favres here. Yeah they tanked the last few weeks, but Buffalo has been tanking longer and better. Always follow the hot hand.

Favres over Bills


Washington (7-6) at Cincinnati (1-11-1)

Do you get the feeling the Bungle faithful haven’t been screaming bloody murder over this season is because the team has finally reverted to a familiar and comfortable mediocrity?

Redskins over Bungles


Tennessee (12-1) at Houston (6-7)

I like Houston’s moxie right now. And Jeff Fisher’s boys really have little left to play for except the number one seed. I think that will be enough.

Titans over Texans


Green Bay (5-8) at Jacksonville (4-9)

Now come on, Green Bay’s defense should be able to stop a tanking Jacksonville team. Right?

Packers over Jaguars


Detroit (0-13) at Indianapolis (9-4)

Man, I wish Pittsburgh had the late season schedule Indy has. Hello cake walk.

Colts over Lions


Minnesota (8-5) at Arizona (8-5)

Yes, the Williams boys will be playing. But Arizona doesn’t run the ball, they pass. And would you trust Tarvaris Jackson on the road?

Cardinals over Vikings


Pittsburgh (10-3) at Baltimore (9-4)

Here it is kids, the game of the week for all the marbles winner possibly taking the division and maybe the number 2 seed. The Steelers have not won in Baltimore in years. As a matter of fact, Roethlisberger’s worst games have come in M&T Stadium. And now they face the NFL’s second best defense as well as a rookie phenom at quarterback. It’s like facing themselves. If you looked in the mirror, could you answer the tough questions and come away with the answers you want? Oh I surely hope so. Yes I want to win my pool, but more importantly, I want my team to win. And we’re overdue for a victory in Maryland.

Steelers over Ravens


Denver (8-5) at Carolina (10-3)

Denver is on their 7th running back this season, having now lost 6 to injuries. Add to that a defense that wouldn’t stand up to a herd of cats. How, exactly, are they 8-5?

Panthers over Broncos


New England (8-5) at Oakland (3-10)

Beli-cheat decided to let his charges stay on the West Coast this week instead of excessively traveling. Come on, like it would make that big a difference.

Patriots over Raiders


New York Giants (11-2) at Dallas (8-5)

So, do you go with the team with no running back and a huge off field distraction, or the team with no running back and a huge off field distraction? Hmmm, how about the home team? Sure, why not?

Cowboys over Giants


Monday

Cleveland (4-9) at Philadelphia (7-5-1)

I still maintain I cannot trust any team who cannot beat the Bungles in 5 quarters. But I trust this. Once Andy Reid and Donavan McNabb realize they’re still in the playoff hunt and could potentially make the post season, they will find a way to choke away this season. Ask any Eagle fan, they’ll tell you the same.

Eagles over Browns

The Crystal Ball 2008 Week 14

This was one of those weeks where all I wanted to do was watch NFL recap shows. When Pittsburgh notches a win as big as they did this week, I could watch replays and analysis all week long. But what to I see all week? Plaxico Burress and his massive stupidity dominated the headlines.


Opening Kickoff

Rumors run rampant that Ron Mexico may soon get a new cell mate, Harris Smith.


Recap

Wait, what???? The all knowing, all seeing, all magical greatest thing since sliced bread Favre couldn’t beat one of the worst defenses in all of football?

Oh, Neck Beard, how could you let me down so? I do not know what to believe in anymore.

Cute play there by Cam Cameron. Funny how he managed to burn the Bungles on the exact same play Pittsburgh used in 2005 Super Bowl. Sorry announcers but that’s not a new wrinkle merely a cleverly recycled one, much like the Wildcat.

Hmmm, it would seem Brandon Jacobs is feeling better.

During the Bungles/Ravens debacle, the question arose if T.J. Houshmandzadeh would get a full market value contract from the Bungles next season. To me the real question is would he accept such a contract from the Bungles or wise up and go somewhere else?

Wow, the Bungles only had 155 yards of total offense in their loss to the Ravens. Boy, they just suck.

What, exactly, was Tom “John Goodman” Cable thinking when he called a fake field goal that required Sebastian Janikowski to run 17 yards? Good gravy, has he not seen Janikowski lately? The only way that man is running 17 yards is if there’s a keg waiting at the end of the run.

Why, with only 8 minutes left in the game and a 31-14 lead, did Brad Childress dare risk his playoff spot by sending Adrian Peterson out in the offense again? It’s like he learned stupid coaching mistakes from Andy Reid. Oh, wait a minute.

Why would anyone get on Aaron Rodgers for that last pass the Panthers picked off? Favre would have TOTALLY made the same boneheaded throw! He really is the next Brett!

Honestly, it’s not Rodgers fault the Packers are tanking. You can thank the defense for that. Why they decided to do their impression of the Lions during the stretch run, I’ll never know.

Phillip Rivers can argue with the ref like an ass all he wants, but it was painfully obvious he intentionally grounded the ball to avoid the sack and safety. What a twit.

Is it just me, or do the Giants play as though they believe they can do anything? I think winning last year’s Super Bowl over the undefeated Pats have instilled in this team a feeling of invincibility.

There were very few good things for Bungles fans to take away from their game against the Ravens. But they can count on the nice plays from Chris ‘leave Marvin Lewis alone’ Crocker.

Well, Brady Quinn had pins put in his finger and is out for the season. Now, Derek Anderson tore his MCL is gone as well. This leaves Romeo “hanging from a thread” Crennel with Ken Dorsey as the new starting quarterback for Browns. Wow, just when you thought it couldn’t’ get worse.


The Steel Pit

Oh, oh, oh! In the words of Jackie Gleason, how sweet it is!

Despite playing the entire second half with a hyper extended back, Harrison sure did enjoy his feast. Seriously, I’ve said it a million times but it needs said AGAIN. Harrison is a man playing amongst boys.

Before the weekend, everybody was all New England’s back, New England’s great; Cassel is better than Brady, meow meow meow.

Cris Carter stated on ESPN’s pregame show that Moss hates playing in cold. Good point to know going in despite the fact no one picked up on it. Cris also made a great point about the Jets; let’s not forget they lost to the Chargers and the Raiders. I’m starting to like Cris more and more.

Tom Jackson stated on the same program that the game comes down to James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley versus Nick Kazur and Matt Light. Oh how prophetic he would be shown to be.

Chris Berman stated that he felt Bill Belichick had a feel for Pittsburgh’s defense. Sure Chris, lately he has. It’s easy to get a feel when you have tons of inside information thanks to illegal videotaping. But look back into history just a bit. Belichick had no such “feel” when he coached the Browns. Why? Because he had yet to figure out how to cheat that’s why.

What I wanted to know before kickoff was why everyone at ESPN assumed that the Patriots would beat Pittsburgh? What had New England done, against their uber weak schedule, so far to show they could once again beat the Steelers? I sat all morning watching their pregame show just begging Pittsburgh to come out fired up and ready to put all of this nonsensical talk to rest.

I was not to be disappointed.

First off, we had Ed “Big Guns” Hochuli refereeing the game. Oh, I knew we were in excellent arms at that point. Although I must say, I hate Ed in cold weather games. It forces him to hide those magnificent pythons of his. Damn cold weather!

New England came into the game stating that Matt Cassel had the reigns taken off, and he would fly free. Yay! So much for all of that crap and his recent record setting performances. He sure did look pedestrian, did he not? Welcome to the NFL Matt Cassel.

Wow, I thought from what I heard that Matt was an even better second coming of Tom Brady. He certainly did not look like such against Pittsburgh’s “weakened” secondary, now did he?

Ice and precipitation makes for crazy game at times and this was indeed one. Let’s run through some fun facts and stats that came out of this demolition.

Adam Vinatieri replacement Stephen Gostkowski missed a 27 yard field goal at the end of the first half. Gostkowski’s failed attempt came because Pittsburgh’s stifling defense crushed yet another Patriot scoring drive attempt. Sweet.

Casey “Big Snack” Hampton had a sack in the game, his second of the season.

In total, the Steelers sacked Cassel 5 times, twice causing him to fumble the ball. It was part of a period where the Patriots had 5 straight possessions that ended in 5 straight turnovers, three fumbles and 2 interceptions. Thank you James Harrison for showing everyone what defense really is all about.

For the game, New England was 1 for 13 in third down conversions.

This was Pittsburgh’s first win in New England since 1997.

This game represented the first time since 2003 that New England allowed an opponent to score 30 unanswered points.

The Steelers, with a short circuiting offense, have outscored opponents 77-9 in the third quarter this season.

Lawrence Timmons had a wicked 89 yard interception return that he came within a yard of getting into the end zone. Lawrence, why did you slow up at the end? If you were that gassed, me thinks you need to do more wind sprints in practice.

Reliving old times from previous Bungle games, Ben Roethlisberger repeatedly picked on Patriot Deltha O’Neal. Ahhh, what warm memories that brought back.

The win was Big Ben’s 48th of his career, tying him with tying him with Otto Graham, Dan Marino and Tom Brady for the most wins by a starting quarterback in his first five seasons in the NFL. Super Sweet.

The best part of the game, for me at least, was when safety Ryan Clark laid out Patriots receiver Wes Welker with a wicked hit. The hit was relatively clean, no helmet to helmet and Clark hit Welker with his shoulder. Unfortunately, the officials flagged Clark with a 15 yard personal foul for the hit. Two things about the hit made me super happy, other than the fact that Welker was essentially shelved for the remainder of the game. One, I liked that Clark went to Patriot players afterwards to assure them he was not trying to play dirty. He even sought out Welker, but could not find him, to apologize. That’s class kids. And two, he NFL backed the hit after the fact, stating not only should it not have been penalized but he would not be fined. Now, Ryan your next target is an even bigger jerk that goes by T.O.

Now that Pittsburgh’s kicked the Patriot’s butt and exorcised some demons, I predicted and was correct with what everyone would say. Everybody will say that it was a nice win for Pittsburgh, but it wasn’t that big a deal because New England didn’t have Brady or Thomas or Harrison in their lineup.

Well meow meow meow. Just shut your yappers. The Steelers completely shut down a good team on their own field. That means as much as the Jets, who choked against a crappy Denver defense, beating the Titans. I know no national media person wants to say it, but I will. Pittsburgh is the only AFC team who consistently beats good competition. They had the hardest schedule going into the season and despite that and despite a horrible rash of injuries have still managed to amass a 9-3 record at the three quarter mark. And down the stretch, of all teams still eligible for the playoffs they have the hardest schedule by far. Now, how about showing this resilient, talented, and most importantly WINNING team some respect? Or is that too much to ask?

Now the Pats are 7-5 and on the verge of being out of the playoffs. AWWWWW!

In other Pittsburgh news, the Steelers training staff was named the 2008 Pro Football Training Staff of the Year. The team of John Norwig, Ryan Grove and Ariko Iso has been honored as the staff that best shows dedication and commitment to the training of the team’s players. Congratulations to all of you! Without you, the team would not be nearly as successful year in and year out.


NFL The Alternative Universe

The Patriots are on the verge of resigning 40 year old Junior Seau to bolster their defense. Seau has spent the lion’s share of this season pursuing business ventures and surfing near his home in San Diego. Yeah, Pats, that’ll help. Good luck with all that. Douche bags.

Why was most of the Steelers/Patriots pre game discussion on ESPN’s pregame show filled with a ridiculous story about the Patriots using Crazy Train as their entrance song complete with an interview with Ozzy himself? Like no other team uses Crazy Train, I heard it at least twice that weekend! And was he really that incoherent that we needed subtitles?

Not many say it, although you do hear it occasionally. But I’ll say it. The Jets aren’t having a great season because of Favre. It’s because of Leon Washington, Thomas Jones and most importantly, Kris Jenkins.

So Lane Kiffin is the new head coach at Tennessee. Good for him. But two things about this story bug me. One, reports are that his dad, Bucs defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin, will follow and coach defense for his son. How will that impact the remainder of the Bucs season? And two, I’ve heard that Tennessee called famous alumni Peyton Manning to get a feel for Kiffin and approval of the hire. Really, you need Peyton’s approval? It's no wonder Tennessee has not won anything in quite some time.

Joey Porter was fined by the NFL $7,500.00 by the NFL for comments made during the Patriots/Dolphins collision. Seems like a small price considering how often Joey talks.

This week the NFL finally handed down punishment to six players who tested positive for a diuretic that can serve as a masking agent for steroids. Deuce McAllister and defensive linemen Charles Grant and Will Smith of New Orleans; defensive linemen Kevin and Pat Williams of Minnesota; and long snapper Bryan Pittman of Houston were all suspended by the NFL. Although five of the six were granted a temporary injunction by a lawsuit filed by the players union. A federal judge decide today whether or not these players can do their jobs this weekend. Damn such a shame a small handful of bad apple athletes get away with too much.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Patriot fans suck. How fast did they abandon Gillette Stadium last Sunday when their “beloved” Patriots were getting housed by Pittsburgh? Rats never left a sinking ship that fast.

Honestly, I’m seriously disappointed by NFL fans these days. Jets fans completely abandoned their team as well. Look, if it were Lions or Rams fans, I could understand. But Jets and Patriot fans, their teams are still in the playoff hunt. Why would their fans give up so easily? Well, shame on all of them.

Look, the 2009 London game has been set. Next season, we’ll see the Tampa Bay Buccaneers take on the New England Patriots on the pitch at Wembley Stadium. Not surprisingly, the Bucs will be the home team, because Brady forbid the Pats give up a home date for a gimmick like this.

Best wishes go out to Paul Zimmerman, writer extraordinaire and NFL expert bar none who recently suffered two strokes one after another. If I could work on this craft for the remainder of my days and amass half as much NFL knowledge as he has and become half the scribe he is I will consider myself successful. Get well soon Dr. Z.


Upon Further Review

Honestly, what story this week needs more in depth review, and has had a ton of it, more than Mr. Burress’ wild ride?

Let’s lay down a few of the known facts to get started. According to numerous reports, Plaxico went out to a night club last Friday with Antonio Pierce in tow. Plaxico went out sporting sweat pants and packing some heat. At some point, he managed to lose control of his gun and in an attempt to get control of it and shot himself in the leg.

Here’s where the story gets fun and weird. Plaxico then went to the hospital for treatment and gave a false name of Harris Smith. Somewhere in the transit he urged Pierce to hide the gun. He did not disclose this to the Giants immediately, waiting until well after the story had broken. By then Burress, Pierce and the hospital were in a world of trouble. Pierce did attempt to hide the weapon, and now is under suspicion for attempting to tamper with evidence. The hospital and the doctor who worked on Plaxico are also in trouble for not reporting this incident. Per New York law, all gun shot victims who come into a hospital are required by law to be reported to the police. This did not happen, so thanks to Plaxico’s antics these people are in trouble. As a matter of fact, the doctor in question has been suspended.

By Monday, Plaxico had turned himself into police and his agent had moved to full blown damage control. At this point, everyone was weighing in, including New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg who urged full prosecution for Plaxico.

Is this over? No, not by a long shot no pun intended. So Burress is facing serious charges of illegal weapons possession that could land him up to 15 years in the pokey. To make matters worse the Giants, who have been just fine without him have placed him on the non football injury list, ending his season and potentially ending his career with the Giants.

Quite the mess, is it not? Honestly, I’m not sure which part throws me the most. First and foremost, what bugs me is Plaxico’s incredible stupidity. A mere few months ago he was the king of New York, one of the conquering heroes that returned from the Super Bowl. Now, he’s on a bullet train out of town. So many questions crop up because of him popping a cap in his own thigh.

First, why was he packing heat? Football players are often targeted by idiots who think they can take on an athlete. Adding a firearm to the mix only makes a potentially dangerous situation volatile. You think I’m mistaken? Then read this article recently posted on ESPN. It’s a scary world out there now for professional athletes, especially in the aftermath of Sean Taylor’s death.

I will not take this into a discussion about the need for or lack thereof of gun control. That is a touchy subject and one not necessarily germane for this situation. Personally, I do not think guns are the problem. Yes, they are a deadly weapon and dangerous. But in the wrong hands, so are cars, butter knives and pencils. This is more about common sense and responsibility, two things Burress has shown he has very little of.

Second, what the hell was he doing out on a Friday night with a big game coming up Sunday? Ok, yes, I know he was already deactivated due to injury, but if you’re too hurt to do your job, shouldn’t you be too hurt to party?

Third, is this really the way for Burress to get what he wanted from his team? He cried most of the off season about his contract finally extracting one before the season started. Then he did nothing of consequence, showing up oft times injured and having his production easily replaced.

Plaxico, do you honestly think that after winning a Super Bowl Coughlin wants another distraction around while trying to defend the title? You think he needs another Barber or Shockey? Remember Jeremy Shockey? The Giants didn’t seem to have any issue getting rid of him. What makes you think you’re immune? Remember TO? Remember how beloved he was in Philly after coming back from injury to play in the Super Bowl? Less than a year later he was hated in Philly and on his way out. This WILL be you. Placing you on the non football injury list was but the first step in getting you a one way ticket out of New York.

Fourth and finally, I have just one final question on the situation. How long until Plaxico is a Raider? Yes he shot himself in the thigh, but Al Davis has been shooting himself in the foot for years. These two should get along swimmingly.


He Said He Said

“I think all stats against Detroit shouldn’t count.” – ESPN’s Chris Berman

But Boomer, those third stringers are trying to build a resume.


“What? No, no, no, no. Two times we could have blown them people out easily. They say, oh, he's so smart. This is the best brainstorming coach. Yeah, because he's cheating. He got caught. ... If it wasn't so bad, why did you destroy the tape so fast? ... We want to see the tapes. When you get rid of evidence like that, there was something in it they didn't want everybody to see.” – Dolphins LB Joey Porter

It’s, it’s like Joey knew I was upset, and opened his pie hole and spewed forth what I’ve thought for years! Thank you Joey, that makes me feel better.


"Yeah, I was mad. After the sack, I told the ref, 'Hold that!' “– Steelers NT Casey Hampton

You wanna cheat? Cheat that!


"To be very honest, I'm not going to read what you guys write. This isn't about Matt Cassel, or whether Matt Cassel's stock is up or down; it's about a team trying to get better." – Patriots QB Matt Cassel

Ummm, Matt, what’s with the third person there? You aren’t that big to go there. As a matter of fact, after last week, in my eyes you have Rob Johnson written all over you.


"The last couple of weeks, from an offensive standpoint, people thought we were riding high. Today some bad things started happening and they trickled on down." – Patriots WR Randy moss

Yeah Randy and those bad things happened because you could not hold onto a football. Not that I’m complaining.


"I was an idiot for believing in the Jets.'' - Cris Collinsworth

You weren’t the only one, Cris. I tried to warn you, but no one listens to me until after the fact.


"I think Brett Favre's reputation as a great bad-weather quarterback needs an update." – SI.com writer Don Banks

Don, it needed updated after last year’s NFC Championship game.


“There's a huge paranoia that occurs when you carry a gun ... You just have your hand on your gun. That just drove me crazy. After two years, I just threw it over the highway when I was driving home one night because it was eating me up inside.'' - Former NFL defensive end Marcellus Wiley

You listening Plaxico?


“You can’t go to school and learn crisis management like there.” - New Tennessee head coach Lane Kiffin talking of his previous employer.

Is that the understatement of the year or decade?


"If you feel like you need to take a gun into a club to feel safe, maybe you ought not to be going to that club in the first place." – Steelers WR Hines Ward

No, this is. And probably the biggest piece of common sense advice as well.


Idiot of the week

Is there really any doubt this week? Because of the self inflicted gunshot wound, the lies, the implication of others, the damage to his team, the potential curtailing of his career, the distraction to his team, the poor example set for others, the stupidity, the potential jail sentence and wearing sweat pants to a night club Plaxico, you are an idiot.

Mind you, he was not the only one to step up this week. Keyshawn Johnson came close on Sunday countdown. Talking greatest pass rushers of all time, and he not only dissed the older guys, read players before 1996, but didn’t even know some of them, or at least was trying to act like he didn’t. Yes, remember kids, being dumb and ignorant of the world you live in and things that came before you is cool. Shouldn’t it be required if you are on one of these shows that you have SOME sort of working knowledge of the game you’re covering? Well, unless you’re Joe Buck, of course.

But Plaxico’s agent Drew Rosenhaus came much closer to stealing this award. He came on Monday Night Football to do some obvious damage control. While this was not idiot worthy in and of itself, the garbage he spewed surely was. His ramblings were nothing but pathetic spin, and anyone who tuned in for more than 30 seconds could pick up on that.

What really bugged me was that first he stated that Plaxico was doing quite well for someone who was shot. Well, that’s his own damn fault. He continued with his sympathy spin by stating how unfortunate this happened almost one year to the day after his former client Sean Taylor was killed. How dare you Rosenhaus? There is no way any rational human being could compare what happened to Sean with what happened to Plaxico. Sean was home with his family when thugs broke into his house intending to rob him and ended up killing him. Plaxico was out at a club, when he should have been home resting and recuperating while he was injured, and shot his idiot self because he was too stupid to think that perhaps bringing a loaded handgun to a club was a bad idea. That’s a world of difference. You know what, now that I think about it, Rosenhaus gets a secondary idiot of the week award, because that comparison is not just ridiculous, but also shameful posturing and an insult to Sean Taylor. Drew, you too are a massive idiot.


On Tap This Week

So I took a few chances last week that most definitely did not pay off. Thank you very much Green Bay, Oakland, Buffalo and Arizona.

Last week 8-5
Season to date 120 – 80

As they say, there’s always next week.


Thursday

Oakland (3-9) at San Diego (4-8)

Which team is less crappy? Well, I suppose San Diego but beating Oakland won’t really convince me otherwise.

Chargers over Raiders


Sunday

Jacksonville (4-8) at Chicago (6-6)

Sigh, I hoped for so much more from Neck Beard. Alas, it has not quite come to pass. But I think he may have enough to overcome the reeling Jacksonville squad.

Bears over Jaguars


Cleveland (4-8) at Tennessee (11-1)

As if Cleveland had much going before, now they throw Ken Dorsey against Kerry Collins and the wicked Tennessee defense. Sorry Drew.

Titans over Browns


Philadelphia (6-5-1) at New York Giants (11-1)

Yeah, Philly won big last week. But I’m not fooled. And neither is most of America outside of southeastern Pennsylvania.

Giants over Eagles


Minnesota (7-5) at Detroit (0-12)

Do you even need to ask? Go Lions strive for history!

Vikings over Lions


Houston (5-7) at Green Bay (5-7)

Yeah, I watched them last week. Yeah, they gave away a game they could have won. But watching Aaron Rodgers makes me believe there’s something more to this Packers team. Perhaps I have a bit too much Don Quixote in me.

Packers over Texans


Atlanta (8-4) at New Orleans (6-6)

I feel bad for Atlanta fans. After suffering the debacle of last season, they needed something to raise their spirits. They get it this year with such a dramatic and exciting turnaround and an 8-4 record, and it’s only good enough for third place in their division. That just stinks. I think they might have enough though to vanquish Drew Brees though despite having to visit the difficult Superdome.

Falcons over Saints


Cincinnati (1-10-1) at Indianapolis (8-4)

Dang, why can’t Pittsburgh have a stretch run schedule as cake like as Indy? Looks like Dungy will go out with a bang.

Colts over Bungles


Miami (7-5) at Buffalo (6-6)

Yes, technically this is a home game for Buffalo. But since it will be held in the auspice confines of Toronto, something tells me they will have no real advantage. Yay NFL for screwing another city that desperately needs it out of a home game this season.

Dolphins over Bills


New England (7-5) at Seattle (2-10)

Oh, look, the cheaters are playing yet another crappy team as part of their easiest schedule in the NFL. Jerks. You know what makes me feel good? The Pats play the easiest schedule in the NFL and are only 7-5 while Pittsburgh plays the toughest and are 9-3. Suck on that Pats fans.

Patriots over Seahawks


Kansas City (2-10) at Denver (7-5)

I can only trust Denver as far as I can throw them. And that ain’t far. Unfortunately I can trust Kansas City even less.

Broncos over Chiefs


New York Favres (8-4) at San Francisco (4-8)

Even the Favres can blow this one. Can they?

Favres over 49ers


St. Louis (2-10) at Arizona (7-5)

Yeah, Arizona laid a major egg last week. And yes, it bodes poorly for future playoff success especially if they have to travel to a crappy climate. Obviously they are not ready for prime time. But let’s forget about such things for now and just celebrate for once a successful Cardinal season.

Cardinals over Rams


Dallas (8-4) at Pittsburgh (9-3)

Two classic rivals, two marquee quarterbacks, only one winner. Hmmm, now just who should I pick…? Oh, and Super Bowl XXX never, EVER, happened.

Steelers over Cowboys


Washington (7-5) at Baltimore (8-4)

NBC chose this game, against contrived rivals, for their primetime choice as opposed to Dallas at Pittsburgh, two long time rivals. Good call. Yeesh.

Ravens over Redskins


Monday

Tampa Bay (9-3) at Carolina (9-3)

I’m not convinced Carolina is all that and a bag of chips. And Tampa Bay has shown more than a few signs of life. Strangely enough, both are good and highly under the radar. I’m sure ESPN is thanking the football gods for a decent game for a change. I suppose I’ll go with the home field advantage, even though lately it has been worth as much as the elasticity of sweat pants.

Panthers over Buccaneers