The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 1

Oh, it is but exquisite to be here once again. The taste we received Thursday not only was exquisite, but merely whetted the appetite for what is to come. The impending buffet of football that stands before us is succulent, appetizing and most of all, ready to open. Oops, excuse me, I started to salivate.


Opening Kickoff

After it took him a week to report, Richard Seymour insists he’s excited to be a Raider. Richard, its ok you don’t have to lie. No one is ever excited at that prospect.


The Steel Pit

Pittsburgh 13 – Tennessee 10 (OT)

Ok, so that’s a good start…EXCEPT for the fact the offense could do nothing most of the game, the defense looked pedestrian, and now Polamalu could be missing for as much as six weeks. Ugh. More on this next week when the thought of it doesn’t make me want to hurl.


Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Panther’s owner Jerry Richardson this off season let his two sons go from the team. Apparently their infighting was hurting the team and Richardson had enough and sent them packing. Something tells me this may not be a good season for Carolina fans. But hey, at least they’ll be one step closer to hiring Bill “I love all things Carolina now” Cowher.

Have you heard of the website runpee.com? Me either until recently but it’s rather brilliant. It tells you the best moments during movies to go to the bathroom, and fills you in on the plot parts you’ll have missed during that absence. Just a great idea, if you ask me who always gets the extra large Coke. You know who started this site? Jordan Palmer, brother of Carson and backup quarterback for the Bungles. Gee, I wonder why the Bungles are never successful when their players have this kind of time on their hands.

Ochocinco promises something good tweet wise for the NFL this weekend. That nimrod is going to tweet in game, I guarantee it. Either that or send text messages to the Jumbotron people during the game. Hey, at least it’s something interesting for Bungle fans, the action on the field certainly will not be.

Of the teams in fear of multiple blackouts due to unsold tickets on game day, the only one I laugh at is the Cowboys. Yes, the Cowboys who just opened their new $1.2 billion stadium may have some trouble selling out the stadium this season. Gee, I cannot figure out why. Could it be because they now have to sell over 100,000 tickets per game to sell out the new behemoth? Or perhaps the $75 parking fees are a deterrent. Perhaps it’s the idea of shelling out $60 for a pizza to enjoy during the game. Whatever the reason, the bottom line is simple. Jerry Jones selected the wrong time to open the new monument to him, I mean Cowboy football.

Bill “I think I’m a genius” Belichick traded DE Richard Seymour to the Raiders for a 2011 first round pick. Good trade by Belichick, since that pick will most likely be a top 5 pick. But what a crappy thing to do to one of your stalwart players and defensive leaders after all he’s done for the team. And reports said Seymour was none too happy about it, not that anyone would blame him. The worst part, from what I’ve heard, is Belichick didn’t even talk to Seymour about it, just sent him packing to football purgatory toot sweet. You know Bill; other players see that and wonder why they should work hard for you if that may be their ultimate reward. This will bite him on his cheating fanny, you watch.


The Merry Old Land of Oz

I’ve done a terrible thing. I’ve betrayed so many people. I’ve done something I swore I would never do, and chastised others for doing. I’ve….joined a fantasy football league! Yes, I know. I’ve made fun of it for years. I’ve pointed out how it bastardizes your fandom. How dumb it would be to root for a player on your fake team when said player is going against your real favorite team.

Well, I came to a conclusion that how can I make fun of something without really knowing what it’s all about? So after receiving an invitation from a friend to join his league, I relented and joined.

Mind you, I gave it some thought before joining, and had a big plan. I did not want to ever have any kind of questionable fan allegiances. So I mapped out a draft strategy that would allow me to only pick players from teams that did not play Pittsburgh. And then I promptly forgot all about the draft. It would seem my ambivalence continues unchecked.

But luckily I did end up, by fantasy standards, with a very good team. But already in week 1 I had to face a dilemma regarding fan loyalty. My team includes Titans RB Chris Johnson, who played against the Steelers. What did I do? I started Steelers RB Mewelde Moore instead. Yes I lost out on 4 points, and may lose against my “opponent” this week. But at least I can sleep tonight.

So I offer you, my reader(s), for this season a potential semi-regularly occurring feature when I bring up how well this experiment is going, how fun it may be or how colossally dumb it turns out. No matter what, by the end I’ll either have a new obsession/addiction or a ton of material to use for future jokes. So don’t hate on me too much for reversing course and attempting something goofy. Especially since so far, it has been kinda fun. Stay tuned.


Upon Further Review

The number one topic you will hear this season, short of growing anxiety toward the uncapped year of 2010, will be about the blackouts that will occur in multiple NFL markets due to teams unable to sell out games.

Currently, the NFL’s policy regarding ticket sales states that if a team fails to sell out a game, then local coverage is blacked out within a 90 mile radius of the team. This has made sense for years, and with a mere handful of cases, rarely happens. However, this year things will be different.

I have heard some talking heads point out that this could be a sign of flagging popularity in the NFL. I disagree. I believe this merely is a reflection of an expensive entertainment option coupled with trying economic times.

Right now, your average person is just getting by. Disposable income for most people is at a premium and many people want to maximize what little cash they can use for entertainment as much as possible. Unfortunately, that may exclude a trip to your local football cathedral.

Let’s face it, going to watch an NFL game in person is expensive. The tickets, even the cheap seats, are not that cheap even if you manage to purchase them directly from the team. If you have to find a seller after market, either someone selling on their own or through Stub Hub, Ticket Exchange or another broker that adds significant costs to the overall price. When you tally in costs for parking, concessions, souvenirs, fuel to and from the venue and potential before or after meals and drinks, suddenly just two people heading for the afternoon at the field can run hundreds of dollars and much more if you have a whole family attempting to go to a game. Who has that kind of cash lying around right now, or is willing to part with it not knowing what may come down the pike financially?

Because of people being more cautious with their extra cash, and the NFL being an expensive option for entertainment, people will limit the amount of times they attend games or opt to just stay home and watch games. It does not mean popularity is down, just the ability to enjoy games in person.

However, how the NFL handles the current fiscal realities of the majority of their fans will affect potential future popularity of the sport. Right now, Roger Goodell and company are walking a tight rope. Sure, they want to have fannies in the seats. It’s good for business and looks good to sponsors forking over big advertising dollars to see packed stadiums. Plus knowing that local markets are all seeing their products on commercial breaks makes those said sponsors feel much better about the big checks they write to get their commercials broadcast during games.

At the same time, the NFL does not want to relax their blackout policy in fear of setting a precedent in the future. As I see it, the fear is that if they make concessions, in the future some crappy team that has trouble selling tickets to a fan base tired of seeing the same inept management trotting out the same terrible product, this team will want blackouts lifted instead of investing in their team and product to entice fans to come out. Lions, Bungles, Browns and Raiders, I’m looking in your general direction.

Perhaps my assumption is wrong; I do not have inside information from the league offices to know anything for sure. But I do know this. The NFL should be smart enough to recognize what is going on in our world right now and give the proper concessions, if only temporarily, to help out the fans that have helped build the league’s popularity that may not be able to afford such luxuries as a day at the stadium.

I understand that big money moves the league now. But the reason that big money rolls in is because of the rabid fan bases that drive up ratings and gate attendance. If those things should wane, the money will disappear.

If the NFL starts alienating fan bases by allowing blackouts to stack up, even the most loyal of fans will begin questioning why they bother to support an entertainment venue that would look so coldly upon those who follow it. With DirecTV, local sports bars and internet options available to view any game, fans will eventually become less concerned with blackouts if they can find a more cost effective way to watch their favorite local team.

I urge commissioner Goodell to take all of these factors into account when looking ahead at the 2009 season and deciding how to operate the blackout policy. One alienated fan rapidly turns into two, which turns into four, which begins a snowball effect that is more difficult to stop once rolling than it is to take a slight short term hit. If you think I’m being overly dramatic Roger, just ask Major League Baseball how fast popularity can disappear.


Super Bust Watch

Yes, at the start of another glorious season, we begin once again our watch to see who this year will play in this glorious game. The Super Bust is a concept created to help fill the non football void during the week between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl. Granted the NFL now fills that void with the Pro Bowl, but if you ask me the Super Bust is better. This game would pit the two preseason Super Bowl favorites that did not make the big game against each other the weekend before the NFL Championship. Brilliant in its simplicity, the Super Bust allows fans to have one more weekend of football, and show everyone that picking Super Bowl teams before the season begins is merely an exercise in futility. The Super Bust would have a permanent home in Las Vegas, allowing many fans who cannot afford a nice vacation for the Super Bowl or Pro Bowl a chance to get out and shake off the winter doldrums somewhere warm and fun. The list of benefits is never ending. These represent merely the tip of the iceberg of what The Super Bust could provide.

- A chance for two fan bases to see their team in action one more time before next season
- An added opportunity for one team to end their season with a win.
- Some extra earnings for players
- A chance for each organization to strengthen their team monetarily and physically with added income as well as additional draft choices
- An opportunity to show how futile picking Super Bowl winners before the season really is
- An extra football game when we really need one
- A weekend of football and fun in Las Vegas
- A perfect excuse to go to Las Vegas (like you need one anyway)
- An excuse to have another big game party, this one where the game really does not matter
- A chance to use the game as a warm up to your real party the next week for the Super Bowl. Try out those far out recipes you think may not work on the real game day. Almost like a Party Pre Season.
- Staving off football withdraw for another two weeks
- Another game for the NFL Network to air, giving more practice to both their broadcast crews and technical crews as well as increasing demand for the network itself
- Something for the sports media to talk about during the dead time when all other Super Bowl stories and angles have been beaten to death
- food and service industries seeing a bigger bump in production and sales, thus adding more stimulus to the economy
- Businesses around the world that have a stake in football seeing an increased profit, adding even more stimulus to the economy
- The advertising industry having another forum to debut killer commercials, almost like an exhibition commercial season
- Better play from the preseason favorites during the regular season, since none of them would want to play in the Super Bust

Once again, Roger Goodell is too busy to address the creation of this wonderful match up. I guess prepping for his big mountain climb with Jim Mora Jr. kept him too occupied this summer. I’m sure he’d have some flaky reasoning like its wrong to embarrass the sportswriters who help promote and report on the games or that it would be an insult to the teams represented. The truth is, he knows it’s a brilliant idea and just hates the fact his office did not generate such a marketing coup. Regardless, we move forward.

So, after an exhaustive search of online predictions, television shows, talking heads and general know it alls, I have discovered the prohibitive favorites according to the media for each conference. They are:

AFC Representative: The New England Patriots

Yes, by just adding Tom Brady, despite the fact no one knows how well his knee is and that he may have a crunched shoulder thanks to a preseason hit by Albert Haynesworth, the Patriots are poised to win it all. Never mind they have lost all their defensive leaders, or that Pittsburgh’s defense may actually be better than last year. Nope, the favorites are the Patriots. Actually, from my tallies they were tied with San Diego, although I did not get EVERYBODY, but I give the edge to New England because, well, at least they have won a Super Bowl.

Alternate – The San Diego Chargers


NFC Representative: The New York Giants

No deep threat receiver has emerged, no problem for the G-men. It would seem in general people love the idea of what the team can do not only in the supposedly tough NFC East, but in the league as a whole. Perhaps they can, who knows. But it would seem people think a rematch of Super Bowl 42 will take place this February.

Alternate – The Philadelphia Eagles


Idiot of the week

For our opening week of the season, I would like to bestow this award on NFL writer, and favorite target, Peter King.

Did King do anything this week to distinguish himself? No. This is more of a cumulative award for plenty of off season nonsense.

I think the biggest thing that has led to this award for King is that in his writing, he seems to insinuate himself into the story to the point where he writes as though the snippet of information would be far less interesting if he were not involved.

Now, I know all three of you out there would say what? You put yourself into everything you write. As a matter of fact, you use I more often than an optometrist; and you would be correct. Disturbingly correct after I wrote the stupid section above regarding my fantasy team which only emphasizes your point. But I know what happens in the NFL has nothing to do with me. With King, I am beginning to believe that he writes as though he really believes his readers give two toots about what him. I could care less that he has three columns a week now. Or how about the fact that he works for NBC and watches football all Sunday in their “bat cave”. Or about his weekly radio show on Sirius radio. Or that he moved to Boston this year. Peter, just use your extensive network of contacts to give me the latest and greatest NFL news. But he seems to think anyone reading his columns care immensely about everything in his world.

And speaking of Boston, it bugs me that he just cannot come out and admit that he’s an unabashed Patriots fan. It seems to me like he wants us to believe that he’s an unbiased journalist, but you can tell that he just loves the Pats, and is afraid to show it. Do you want proof?

Ok, that brings us to my other point that bugs me, his Super Bowl picks for this season. He picked the Bears for the NFC because of his burgeoning man crush on Jay Cutler (and I’m sure that it was hard to finally “break up” with Brett but I give him credit for doing so.) Peter, I do not care one iota about Cutler’s potential; he has DONE NOTHING so far. He has a losing record as a starter, and has shown extremely poor leadership skills and now is saddled with a team with an aging defense and questionable receiving corps. You really think that will be the best of the NFC?

But predictably, his Super Bowl champion for 2009 will be the New England Patriots. Why? Oh because he loves them. Never mind the fact that no one knows whether or not Brady will be effective, if Belichick will operate rationally without Pioli, or the fact that the defense now has exactly zero leaders on the field, and they have yet another new offensive coordinator. Nope, they’ll win it all. Please, Peter, I beg you just admit you are Patriots biased. I’d respect you so much more for just admitting to your Patriot love.

But perhaps the worst is his awful obsession with Twitter. He has been part of a panel of several tweet ups, when big Twitter users host a forum for fans. I think everything was said when he reported that at one of these, only six fans showed up. But what really bothered me was when he justified breaking a story over Twitter as opposed to putting the information out through his employer, Sports Illustrated. His lame justification was that if he called the story in, it would take 20 minutes to get it online. But if he twitted it (I refuse to call it tweeted, if you use Twitter, you are twitting, not tweeting), the story would be out immediately and that would reflect well on SI indirectly since he would get the scoop and people know he works for them.

That is a lame, sad and pathetic justification Peter. You wanted the scoop so you could have it. If you gave a damn about SI, you would have gone through the online channels or had a SI Twitter account or ready made blog set up for just such an occurrence. You did not care about SI getting the story at all, you cared about YOU getting the scoop and found a way to justify it in your own mind to ignore the fact that you went for glory and ignored the people who fund your ability to watch and comment on the NFL for a living.

So for all of these factors, and your exponentially growing ego, Peter King you are an idiot.

Although in all fairness, all the work you have done for Dr. Z and his rehabilitation has been exemplary and I thank you for your efforts and updates. So, you earn a Get out of Idiot card for later in the season.


On Tap This Week

Well, before week 1 has really begun, we’ve already mucked things up no?

Thursday 1-0
Season to Date 1-0

At least the loss column is still pristine. Shall we see if that streak can continue?


Sunday

Miami (0-0) at Atlanta (0-0)

Sophomore phemon versus Wildcat, who wins? It’s week one, in tough calls I go with the home team. It’s one of the occasions where the home crowd can make a difference. Unless the home team is highly overrated, in which case I’m screwed no matter what.

Falcons over Dolphins

Denver (0-0) at Cincinnati (0-0)

Ewww, what a pu pu platter. Ok you will rarely see this but considering the McDaniels experiment thus far, here we go.

Bungles over Broncos

Minnesota (0-0) at Cleveland (0-0)

Seriously Mangenius? Not telling anyone who the starter is until game time? Apparently, he mastered the art of douchebaggery from Belichick. He states it’s a competitive advantage. Exactly how so? Cleveland sucks, no offense Drew Carey, like the Vikings are scared of either quarterback.

Vikings over Browns

Jacksonville (0-0) at Indianapolis (0-0)

Make or break for Del Rio, against the revamped Colts, I say it’s the first step toward break.

Colts over Jaguars

Detroit (0-0) at New Orleans (0-0)

I think eventually, the long suffering Lions fans will experience the joy of a win. But not this week against the Saints and that potentially wicked offense.

Saints over Lions

Dallas (0-0) at Tampa Bay (0-0)

Oh, I have no delusions that without TO, all the Cowboy problems have been solved. But I believe stronger that Tampa Bay is a larger mess than people realize.

Cowboys over Buccaneers

Philadelphia (0-0) at Carolina (0-0)

We see the first of two weeks of Philadelphia football that consist of relative peace. When Vick’s suspension ends, so will that calm. For the time being success for the Birds against the rapidly dysfunctioning Panthers.

Eagles over Panthers

Kansas City (0-0) at Baltimore (0-0)

Let’s see, a rebuilding KC team on the road with a new, and gimpy, quarterback without an offensive coordinator against one of the fiercest defenses in the NFL. Hmmm I wonder who may win….

Ravens over Chiefs

New York Jets (0-0) at Houston (0-0)

Another questionable call. The Jets may be on the mend with a tough, energetic new coach, but they are starting a rookie quarterback on the road against a team many think will finally make the leap this year. I wonder if Houston will make that leap, but at the very least, they’ll get the best of Matt Sanchez. Welcome to the NFL, rookie.

Texans over Jets

Washington (0-0) at New York Giants (0-0)

Considering the confidence Washington management showed in Jason Campbell during their aborted chase of Jay Cutler, why should I display more?

Giants over Redskins

San Francisco (0-0) at Arizona (0-0)

Yeah, Arizona’s preseason looked bad. But remember last year the Lions went 4-0 in preseason play.

Cardinals over 49ers

St. Louis (0-0) at Seattle (0-0)

Ummm, well Seattle does have Hasselbeck and now features T.J. Houshmandzadeh. So that’s something, right?

Seahawks over Rams

Chicago (0-0) at Green Bay (0-0)

I’m not buying the suddenly potent Bears with Cutler. I think Aaron Rodgers and the revamped Green Bay defense will be far more potent.

Packers over Bears


Monday

Buffalo (0-0) at New England (0-0)

Ugh, I hate to do this but Buffalo’s offensive line looks shaky at best.

Patriots over Bills

San Diego (0-0) at Oakland (0-0)

For the one game no one will watch, including most self described Charger fans. Wait, that’s wrong. Prisons across America will tune in for this crap fest.

Chargers over Raiders