The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 4

Starting this week, the NFL will take part in raising awareness for breast cancer. All games this month will be designated NFL Breast Cancer awareness games, and the league will be very visual in raising awareness and funds toward research. Stadiums will be outfitted with pink ribbons and players will don pink cleats and gloves while team field personnel and coaches wear a pink ribbon/NFL shield pin. Teams will also have efforts individually to raise local awareness as well. I commend the league for reaching out and supporting a very important cause that means so much too so many. I encourage everyone to join in and support this cause in any way you can, and to see a doctor regularly for exams. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Opening Kickoff

Ok, I get it Jon Bon Jovi, the baseball playoffs are coming. Someone find that boy something else to do. Since the Arena League folded, he has too much time on his hands.


The Way It Was

Detroit’s long nightmare is over after the Lions gutted out a big win at home, their first in 20 games. This definitely wins feel good story of the week. The best part of their big moment had to be Jim Schwartz, sending the Lions back out on the field from the locker room to thank fans for supporting the team through their putrid run. An excellent touch that I’m sure made fans feel special for their loyalty. You stay classy there, Detroit.

Ok, yes, Favre’s final drive was huge. And that touchdown pass to Greg Lewis was on the money where only Lewis could nab it. Plus, let’s give Lewis some huge props for not only grabbing that ball, but also getting his feet down, great receiving work. But come on, it was one game, and not the Super Bowl. But something tells me Viking fans are starting to dream about a February trip to Miami.

Dang it, did I give Bill Belichick an idea? Last week I said he should run the ball and protect Brady until he was back to 100%. And what the heck did he do? I guess he really does get info from every corner.

I think Tom Brady is starting to feel like his old self again. It has been a long while since I saw him throwing a temper tantrum on the sidelines because things are not going perfectly. Just like old times. What an ass.

Yes, I thought Atlanta could beat the Patriots, but I neglected to calculate in one important factor. The Falcons have a weak run defense. I guess that would be important, huh?

Who had a worse week than Ryan Mouton? Poor guy couldn’t buy a hole to crawl into after that mistake riddled game.

Stupid me. You would think after watching this much football, I’d learn something. Going against Peyton Manning, even on the road, when he’s showed last week he doesn’t even need 15 full minutes to dispose of an opponent? Dumb on me. My punishment, no double stuffed Oreos for a week.

The return of Michael Vick occurred over the weekend. Vick had no significant impact on the game and was mostly a decoy. I know some people are very vexed by Vick’s employment in the NFL. To these people in the in the anti-Vick group, I urge you to not worry. Eventually Vick will be treated as the social pariah just as you wish. Trust in Eagle fans to sort this out. As soon as he costs them a game, he’ll face hate and derision like he’s never experienced before.

Speaking of Philadelphia, the Eagles cut Jeff Garcia to bring back linebacker Jeremiah Trotter. Hmmm, seems like Philadelphia is trying to change some mojo as well.

Although he came back, I’m sure it made Redskin fans want to throw up watching Albert Haynesworth carted off the field. Congratulations Dan Snyder that looks like money well spent.

Forget it; I think we have a winner. Dan Snyder is a far worse owner than Jerry Jones. At least Jones has won something once.

Wow, how bad do you feel for Rams fans when they have to rally behind Kyle Boller?


The Steel Pit

Two weeks. Two beatable opponents. Two games where defeat was snatched at the end from the jaws of victory.

For the first time in eight years, the Bungles managed to defeat Pittsburgh in Cincinnati. This game was dominated throughout by the Steelers, and yet, at the end, they were once again holding the short end of the stick. So who’s to blame? What’s the problem this time? Despite missing a very long field goal, I don’t think you can put the goat horns at the feet of Jeff Reed this time.

Candidate #1 Big Ben – Despite the interception returned for a touchdown, Roethlisberger was on target and sharp all afternoon. And that interception came because Holmes ran the wrong route. Sorry, not Ben this time.

Candidate #2 the wide receivers – Yeah, with Santonio Holmes dropping his fourth pass in two weeks coupled with a terrible mental error running his route, and Limas Sweed muffing a sure touchdown, the receiving corps is looking bad. If not for Mike Wallace coming on, it would be Hines Ward on an island. They can easily take blame.

Candidate # 3, the offensive line – I cannot pin this on them. The unit established good protection and created excellent running holes while keeping Big Ben clean until one late game sack. They are most definitely improving.

Candidate # 4 the offensive game plan – for most part the coaching staff called a good game. But they stagnated once again inside the 20, left points on the field instead of finishing drives, and got way too conservative in the 4th quarter with too much time left on the clock. Bruce Arians did well mixing up formations and plays, but for some inexplicable reason went run run pass in the fourth, which caused drives to stall and gave Cincy ample opportunities to stage their comeback.

Plus, why not go for it on 4th and 1 from the Bungle ½ yard line? Obviously the team was not afraid to go for it on 4th down. They did last week in a similar situation and it resulted in a touchdown. Do it this week, and it would have been a demoralizing opening stanza for the Bungle defense. As it were, the Bungles walked off feeling down but not out. And that made a world of difference later.

Candidate #5 the defense – Yes, they played well, but it’s becoming easier to heap a share of the blame on this unit. They did hold up well, but they did not finish strong. Yes, the offense not staying on the field in the fourth quarter and continually giving the ball back to the Bungle offense did not help, and kept the defensive unit much busier at the end but they still need to finish. This much vaunted unit has surprisingly not forced a single turnover the last two weeks. That is a disturbing trend.

Basically, it comes down to finishing. The team played well through the first three quarters, but failed to finish in the fourth. Tomlin, through clenched teeth, said as much during his post game interview and pointedly said this would be a focus of the team this week. And it should be. Teams win when they show the ability to finish thoroughly. Finishing runs, tackles, catches, plays, drives and games, that’s how a good team becomes great. And right now, this team is not finishing any of them. Until they do, things will not get better.

Colon watch: Well, what a surprise, uber right tackle Willie Colon had a holding penalty that killed another drive in the 2nd half. That’s 3 weeks, 3 penalties and three killed drives. 2 holding, 1 false start and a total of 25 penalty yards amassed already. I know Colon is a good tackle, but come on he has been in the league too long at this point to make these rookie mental errors week after week. The watch continues.


Only In Faux NFL Reality…

You know, when the league closed I wondered what would happen to all the old assets from the Arena League. It would seem they sold some old uniforms to Seattle. Good gravy those monstrosities were terrible. I heard optometrist offices throughout the greater Seattle area were packed on Monday morning.

Cris Collinsworth, why do you have to tease us? On Inside the NFL this week, Collinsworth started telling a story from back in his playing days, but refused to finish because, part of the story was a bit blue. Yet he left out the hilarious part for us, the viewer, and left the audience hanging. Come on Cris, why must you tease? When you start telling a funny story from your playing days, you gotta finish it! Don’t tease us and stop right before the good part! I still want to know what happened with Boomer.

I’d like to put a note out there to all the broadcasters and sports writers regarding their kid glove treatment of Tom Brady. Quit making excuses for his antics. Stop saying his infantile behavior on the sidelines stems from frustration, or a fierce competitive drive or some other half baked reasoning. Half of the quarterbacks in the league are frustrated every week because things are going poorly, or their off rhythm or just because they’re losing. And from most, you don’t see them on the sidelines ranting like a raving lunatic while tearing their teammates a new cornhole because they failed to haul in a bad pass. When Peyton Manning has a bad game, does he rip apart Reggie Wayne or Tom Moore? No, he sticks his nose in photo print outs and tries to figure out a way to turn the tide. Call Brady what he is, a spoiled brat who cries when he doesn’t get his way, and acts like a smug arrogant self deserving ass when he does.

During the Bungles/Steelers broadcast, Phil Sims slipped and called Chad Ochocinco Chad Johnson. That made me laugh, although not as much as hearing both him and Jim Nantz say Ochocinco all broadcast long. Changing his name and forcing the media to call him Ochocinco may be the most entertaining thing Chad has done.

Did anyone catch TO’s post game interview? It’s not going to be long now before
he blows up. And by his demeanor, it’s gonna be a big one. Stay tuned.

So last week, Todd Haley spent the game screaming at anyone wearing Chiefs apparel. This week, it looked like he just gave up after half time. I’m starting to think Anquan Boldin probably had a point when he screamed at Haley during last year’s NFC championship game. If Haley makes it to Thanksgiving still employed, I’ll be surprised.

Todd Haley appears to be someone in way over his head, but a stubborn attitude and a massive ego will never let him admit to it, so he just increasingly ratchets up his poor coaching, bad decision making and terrible treatment of personnel under the delusion that eventually it will work because it just has to. This is how he’s always done things and look where it’s got him so far!

Hall of Famer Jim Brown called out legend in his own mind holdout Michael Crabtree in an interview this week. Brown called Crabtree’s stance totally ridiculous and told him to get his butt in camp. Hey Crabtree, of all the people in this world to avoid ticking off, I’d put Jim Brown in the top five. Get your butt in camp.


In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

Well, my winning ways the previous week did not translate into two in a row. In fact, I had a horrid week. That, of course, will happen when all three of your receivers combine for fewer points than your kicker. Not an optimal situation to say the least.

So I have scrambled a bit this week. Due to the opening bye week and injuries, a few of my starters will be on the bench and my wide receiving corps has been revamped. We’ll see if this does any good. But I learned something very important in looking for replacements. Trading is a very important part of this game.

Here’s what I mean. When I first looked at my team, I had way too many running backs, and not enough of anything else. So I just dumped the ones I did not want and picked up what I needed, no big deal. And each week I had no idea swapping a few minor parts for something that fit better.

But after looking through rosters in searching for receivers, I saw a bunch of my old cast offs had found new homes. Obviously my trash was indeed others treasure. And looking over my competitors, they had pieces that would have done me well and could now be on my team, if only I had proposed a trade.

I know, many of you fantasy veterans are sitting there going, well DUH! But hey, for some of us, this is all new and involves some experimentation. Plus, it’s not like you guys are giving away all your hard won secrets to help out the competition. If you did, you wouldn’t be able to put wicked beat downs on us first timers and follow that up with some pointed, and at times hilarious, smack talk.

So I encourage all newbies like me to use every resource at your disposal, especially trades. Not only will it help improve your team, but also increase camaraderie in your league and make the experience that much more enjoyable.


He Said He Said

“A Ravens team with some offense is a spooky thought.” – ESPN.com’s Gregg Easterbrook

Gregg, I prefer the adjective disturbing.

"I think we're 10 times better than last year.'' – Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco

Once again, disturbing.

“We deserved to win the game.'' – Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer

Yeah, cause you guys just dominated play. Grrrr.

“The bottom line is that we need significant players, and we have quite a few of those, to make significant plays in significant moments." – Steelers coach Mike Tomlin

No kidding. Hello, Harrison, Woodley where are you?

"It's human nature to feel, I didn't use the word revenge, but to prove that you still could play. To prove someone wrong, or prove a group wrong. So you can call it what you want." – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre.

But remember, this isn’t about revenge.

"Why would I just quit something that I'm good at, and something that I have fun doing, just because I'm a certain age?" - Penguins forward Billy Guerin If Brett Favre were this honest about wanting to continue playing football, would anyone really care what uniform he donned? No. See Brett, it’s not that hard to make a simple decision.

“I'll tell what was frustrating to me. I'm always looking for down-and-distance on the scoreboard, and in most stadiums, you can look on the side and see it pretty easily. But in this place, there are mostly ads where that normally is. Miller Lite, Dr Pepper ad screens instead of the down-and-distance. I found it in the corner of the end zone, but it's hard to see.” – Giants tackle David Diehl on the new Cowboys Stadium

Oh no, is not Jones’ new football palace perfect? I imagine making these screens tiny was done to thwart opposing teams, and sell ad space, but wouldn’t it hurt the Cowboy offense as well?

“Re the Seattle shock-green uniforms, which are to the eyes what a triple-espresso is to the heart rate: I didn't hate them as much as I thought I would.” – SI.com’s Peter King

That’s ok Peter; I hated them enough for the both of us. Putrid things.

"You don't realize that your legacy will be based upon how you perform, not how much money you made.” Hall of Fame running back Jim Brown in speaking about holdout Michael Crabtree

I think this should be something Brown tells to every potential NFL player every year at the combine.

"Rich Gannon had been a journeyman quarterback in the NFL for years and we gave him the opportunity of a lifetime to be our starting quarterback. We're the only team that ever afforded him that opportunity.'' – Raiders executive John Herrera, criticizing former Raider Rich Gannon because of his critical comments of the team.

Worst. Franchise. Ever.


Idiot of the week

Speaking of the worst franchise, this week the award of idiot goes to the entire Oakland Raider organization.

Yes, this organization has been a fumbling, bumbling, dysfunctional mess since their appearance in Super Bowl 37. But this season, the goofy dysfunction seems to have morphed into pathetic disaster. I know none of this is a secret, except apparently to those behind the shroud of Al Davis. So why do they win this week? Let’s just take what happened in the last week or so in Raider Land.

“Franchise” quarterback JaMarcus Russell continued his downward spiral toward a 0.0 quarterback rating by going 12 for 21 for 61 yards with 2 interceptions and a 22.6 quarterback rating.

Before the game, the Raider organization attempted to ban former Raider quarterback and current CBS commentator Rich Gannon from the premises, because of critical comments Gannon made concerning the organization. Never mind that Gannon’s comments were accurate and, considering the state of Raider football, required.

When thwarted in their efforts to ban a former team captain from their building because of his honesty regarding the state of his former NFL home, the team instead of accepting Gannon chose instead to drag him through the mud and trash him in a very public and juvenile way.

Now, reducing their relationship with a former team leader to a junior high style fight would easily get them the idiot award. But oh the Raider was not done there.

On Monday, head coach Tom Cable was interviewed by authorities regarding his role in the alleged assault of former coach Randy Hansen that resulted in Hansen suffering a broken jaw and being terminated from the team. Yes, an NFL coach the day after a game in the middle of the season was talking to the cops about breaking a guys jaw.

Honestly, it’s like watching someone suffer a nervous breakdown, except it’s an entire organization, blindly following the orders of a crazed paranoid maniac with who suffers fits of dementia and delusions of grandeur.

Watching this organization melt down used to be funny and for me, quite pleasurable. But it’s now just becoming sad. And it’s odd for me to say it, but I’m actually beginning to feel genuinely bad for Raider fans. The fact that they continue to support this organization which has done nothing to reward that loyalty amazes me and really displays the depth of their fandom. Or perhaps at this point their merely suffering from the Helsinki Syndrome.

So, for 6 years of futility that is spiraling down the drain at an exponentially increasing rate, the Oakland Raider organization, you are all idiots.


Taking the Week Off

With the start of bye weeks, a favorite feature of mine returns. Each week, we peek in on the teams sitting out the coming Sunday’s action and see how they will spend their precious off day.

Cardinals – Coach Whisenhunt will set up a meeting to introduce Kurt Warner to Larry Fitzgerald, since apparently Warner has forgotten Larry is still a part of the offense.

Falcons – Oh, it sounds like Atlanta is going to have some fun. The team has set up a scavenger hunt to try and find their run defense.

Panthers – John Fox will be burning the midnight oil to see if there is any way he can continue to back Jake Delhomme as his quarterback AND win enough games to keep his job.

Eagles – Andy Reid will do what he always does on bye weeks, have some cheese steaks and try to find a way to have a 4 quarterback offense.


On Tap This Week

Ok, I took a few chances last week. And a few of them, lets just say, were less than successful.

Last week: 11-5
Season to date: 35 - 13

Well look at that, despite going the wrong way on a few, I still managed a solid week. And even better, the Lady K increased her overall lead by 2 games. So far, a good start to the season. Let’s see if this solid performance and consistency can be extended.

Sunday

Detroit (1-2) at Chicago (2-1)

Lion fans savored this week like no other fans. The sun was brighter, food tasted better and the air was fresher. Unfortunately, one win only moves them up from horrid to terrible. But it’s a step in the right direction.

Bears over Lions

Seattle (1-2) at Indianapolis (3-0)

I went against Peyton last week. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice then I’m a moron. And I’m not, at least not yet.

Colts over Seahawks

Tennessee (0-3) at Jacksonville (1-2)

I figured out what’s wrong with Tennessee. They should have never stomped on the Terrible Towel. Think about it, they haven’t won a game since. Coincidence? I think not. But this week, all the formidable power of the Towel must be used to right a ship in Pittsburgh, so Tennessee will be out from under its yolk and be able to get back on the right track themselves.

Titans over Jaguars

New York Giants (3-0) at Kansas City (0-3)

Note to all Kansas City fans, don’t bother. Stay out of the stadium. Just remain in the parking lots and eat some of that world famous Kansas City barbeque. Trust me, you’ll feel better.

Giants over Chiefs

Tampa Bay (0-3) at Washington (1-2)

I think for Jim Zorn, it’s not a matter of if he will be canned, but when.

Redskins over Buccaneers

Baltimore (3-0) at New England (2-1)

Forget it. New England had success going run oriented last week against Atlanta, who has a week front 4 on defense. Baltimore does not suffer the same affliction. And Ed Reed will make sure to clean up all those off target passes Tom Brady puts out there. You thought Brady was cheesed last week, wait until after this game.

Ravens over Patriots

Oakland (1-2) at Houston (1-2)

Ewww.

Texans over Raiders

Cincinnati (2-1) at Cleveland (0-3)

At this point, I wonder if Cleveland could win a game of tiddlywinks. And Mangini, trust me, it matters not who starts at quarterback. And if Cincinnati wins big this week like I think they will, I will award then next week by calling them by their given team nickname. But they’re gonna have to earn it first.

Bungles over Browns

Buffalo (1-2) at Miami (0-3)

Pennington is done for the year with a shoulder injury. Will Chad Henne be able to add a deep threat passing game to open up the running game? I don’t know, but I’m just curious enough to give him a chance because if he does, look out.

Dolphins over Bills

New York Jets (3-0) at New Orleans (3-0)

The Jets have my attention as much as the Saints. And despite what the pundits are saying, this game will not come down to the New Orleans offense versus the New York defense. This game will hinge on who performs better, the New Orleans defense or the New York offense. And I think Mark Sanchez might have a bit of trouble in the crazed Superdome. Plus, I started riding the Saints bandwagon in week one and will continue to do so until they throw me off.

Saints over Jets

Dallas (2-1) at Denver (3-0)

Yes, I know, Denver is 3-0. But I venture this, who have they played? Perhaps they are not as big of a mess as previously thought, but for me to trust them in a big game they have to prove it first. And I don’t think they can.

Cowboys over Broncos

St. Louis (0-3) at San Francisco (2-1)

I’m still digging what Singletary is doing with that team. They play tough and almost pulled out a big road win last week. This week, they get the salve of St. Louis, which should indeed help.

49ers over Rams

San Diego (2-1) at Pittsburgh (1-2)

Ok, it ends this week. I washed all the stink of losing off of my Steelers gear. I switched a few pregame rituals, remembering a few I had forgotten. And most importantly, I will be at Heinz Field this evening to turn the mojo around in person. It’s time to finish.

Steelers over Chargers

Monday

Green Bay (2-1) at Minnesota (3-0)

You know, this is a good game between division rivals, but apparently this year it’s more than that and this game will be a big deal. Why you ask? Because apparently Vikings quarterback Brett Favre used to play for Green Bay. I had no idea! Considering these two teams are division rivals, you would think news like that would be a bigger deal. Yeah, I’m slightly fatigued with the Favre versus Packers storyline. And it matters not, Brett’s not winning this game, Adrian Peterson is.

Vikings over Packers