The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 5

The Sporting News, in their latest issue, named Pittsburgh the number one sports city amongst a pool of 399 candidates. You wanna know why? Sure the main reason is two championships this year. But I’ll tell you what really pushed the Burgh over the top. Me baby, me! I’m back, bad and in and about dahntahn!


Opening Kickoff

I like many watched Brett Favre eviscerate the Packers Monday night. And do not even try to tell me that wasn’t about revenge, I’ve seen that performance before, and it’s when Favre is motivated and pissed. That was one of his best games in the last 10 years. Yeah, this move was ALL about revenge. Favre protests otherwise because he still has financial interests in Green Bay.


The Way It Was

Nope, sorry Bungle fans. You will always root for the Bungles. It took you 5 quarters to put away the Browns? Really? And that field goal was iffy at best. Sorry, you had a chance to be Bengals again, and blew it miserably.

The Tennessee Titans are dead to me.

Titan fans are screaming for Jeff Fisher to start Vince Young to try to turn things around. Yeah, a move like that might shake things up, but trust me that’s not your problem. Unless Vince can play cornerback, putting him in the line up is not going to fix your biggest problems.

Raider running back Darren McFadden will undergo surgery to repair torn cartilage in his knee and will miss two to four weeks. I think he’s faking it. I’d do the same thing to put any kind of distance between myself and that train wreck. And somewhere in northern California, Richard Seymour weeps and plots his revenge on Belichick.
For all his drama, Brandon Marshall can deliver the goods. His crazy touchdown run for the winning points was a thing of beauty.

I’m beginning to wonder not if JaMarcus Russell can get worse, but how much worse can he get? I think he may have a game with a negative quarterback rating.

On the field at the end of the game, it looked like Tony Romo forgot the down signaling third down when he just played the fourth down. Of course, Dallas had a lovely little spin to cover up the faux pas. Hey, Romo, TO is gone and so is your “distraction”. So quit screwing up and score me some points you overrated pretty boy.

Boy, did you see the live shots from Brett Favre’s steakhouse Monday night? It sure seemed rather slow for a Packer game. I wonder why….

The more I watch Baltimore this season, the more I think most everyone in the media is wrong. I do not believe they have an offense that matches their defense. I think their offense is better, and their defense is slipping. They couldn’t get off the field on third down all day.

And speaking of Baltimore, here’s hoping Ravens tackle Jared Gaither will be ok. I think all of us held our breath as this young man lay on the Gillette Stadium turf after a scary incident. Another sobering reminder that amidst the fun of football, at its heart is a violent game that can be deadly dangerous.

Unfortunately, that’s not the only bad thing the Ravens endured that day. Honestly, can anyone in the NFL front office tell me with a straight face that those roughing the passer calls on Brady were legitimate, especially the one where he lobbied the referee for the flag?

Our crack investigative team found this little nugget for you, and it seems rather pertinent after last Sunday. Article VI, Subsection B, Point 4b of the official 2009 NFL Rule book states that if anyone brushes past Tom Brady’s skirt and causes it to ruffle, that’s an automatic 15 yards and a first down. But pouncing on Donovan McNabb in the end zone after the play (see Panthers 2009 game) and pounding Ben Roethlisberger into the turf 2-3 seconds after he releases the ball (see any 2008 game) is still cool.

How do the Patriots do it? Their offensive line is a mess and Tom Brady certainly is not feeling his oats. With Fred Taylor out, their running game has more question marks on it than the Riddler’s suit. Their defense is sorely lacking leadership and without Jerrod Mayo missing its best player. Yet they sit at 3-1 and keep winning. How? Ugh, does this mean I have to put my loathing aside pick New England consistently now? I wanna puke.

The Browns traded Braylon Edwards to the Jets for two of Mangini’s guys, a few draft picks, and a ton less aspirin. The final straw, other than a putrid performance, was Edwards getting into an altercation at a club early Monday morning with a gentleman who is good friends with LeBron James. Wow, all of Cleveland will do whatever it takes to keep James with the Cavaliers.

Seriously, NFL players, stop going to clubs. Nothing good happens there. Just ask Plaxico Burress.

The Steel Pit

See? All it took was me in attendance, and I turned that bad boy around! Ok, I know it wasn’t me, although it was tremendous fun to not only soak in yet another game and Heinz Field experience, but to also, finally savor a win at home.

Who did turn it around you ask? An inspired Rashard Mendenhall that’s who. And listening to the roar of the crowd at the beginning of the game, filled with joy, tension, nervousness and just a touch of trepidation, Mendenhall responded like a man who knows he won’t get many more chances.

The Good – The offense. Not only did Mendenhall perform wonderfully, the entire unit did as well. The line blocked well, opening holes I could run through and kept Big Ben clean most of the game. Sure, there was one series he was sacked twice, but that’s why I said mostly. Speaking of which, Roethlisberger threw for over 300 yards and two touchdowns and had the look that Steelers fans should come to expect such games more often in the future. Hines Ward had over 100 yards of receiving and his smile was back, bright and inspiring.

The Bad – the fourth quarter. The defense played a wonderful game through three quarters, but for some reason allowed the Chargers 21 points starting at the end of the third. I really cannot point as to a specific reason on the field, other than a lack of pressure due to coverage play. But on the last defensive series they sure found that pressure when they needed it most. So I’ll only say kind of bad.

The Ugly – the fans. Look I understand the game was on a Sunday night. It was late near the end and most people had to go to school or work the next day. And until midway through the fourth quarter, the game pretty much seemed to be in the bag. But NFL tickets are not cheap, and neither is devoted fandom. By midway through the 4th, I looked around and could see large swatches of empty seats and could only shake my head in disbelief. And what happened after that? Without a full house to inspire the team, or distract and harangue Philip Rivers, San Diego promptly went on a scoring spree. Don’t tell me home field advantage doesn’t mean something, I watched it mean almost too much.

But hey, these are but minor concerns. The team is back on the right side of the ledger, and things are looking up. Bring on the Lions!


Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Have you wondered what John Madden is up to these days? Why hanging out in his man cave of course. Oh, but Madden has no ordinary man cave. As mentioned in Sports Illustrated this week, Madden has a 7,000 square foot studio close to home that is outfitted with nine 63 inch HD televisions and a 16 by 9 foot projection screen. Tell me you wouldn’t give an eye tooth to sit there with big John on Sundays snacking on Turducken!

The Redskins, in their extreme intelligence, hired Sherman Lewis, who hasn’t coached since 2004, as a consultant. I cannot imagine what fresh, new ideas he may bring to the equation other than how he likes head coach printed on his business cards one they can Zorn.

Reports have circulated that radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is teaming with St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts to purchase the Rams. The first thing I thought upon hearing this news was, would Rush trade for Donovan McNabb? Of course, that thought went nowhere once I read that some black players have already spoken out they would never play for any team Rush owned. This should get uncomfortably messy.

Eli manning has plantar fasciitis a painful inflammation of tissue in his right foot. If he cannot play, it won’t be nearly the painful as what Giants fans will suffer at the realization that they must welcome the David Carr era.

Our long national nightmare is over. Michael Crabtree signed with the 49ers. Here’s my big question. Mike Singletary has worked really hard to instill a team first attitude amongst the 49ers, and the results have been very positive with the team playing hard, solid football and sitting at 3-1 atop their division. Does he really want at this point to inject such a me first guy who obviously listens to bad advice over common sense into this tight group he has assembled? Couldn’t Crabtree’s presence cause more problems than good? I’m curious as to how the dynamic will change with him on board.

Woof, did anyone else notice Troy Aikman’s bad hair dye job last week? And it was hard to tell, but is he working on a faux hawk cut? Combined with Al Michael’s hair oddity the first week, it would seem announcers are trying to inspire some youthful and very out of place, looks in the booth this season. I can only imagine that Dick Stockton will show up in a few weeks with full blown punk spikes.

Ben Roethlisberger and his offensive line were hosts of the WWE’s Monday Night Raw program this week. I have nothing against wrestling, although I’m not a big fan. But I ask this of Big Ben, by appearing on a wrestling show, you follow in the hallowed footsteps of sports stars Pete Rose and Dennis Rodman. The wrestling guys are cool, but being associated with Rodman and Rose? Is that the company you want to keep?

ESPN.com’s Mike Sando put together a top ten list of players for an MVP watch. This guy is a moron, and an idiot. I cannot see how he could rank Brett Favre second, when he’s not even the MVP on his own team, which would be Adrian Peterson, relegated to fourth. And Tom Brady, how does he even make this list? Is this just a reputation selection? Oh and don’t get me started about Jay Cutler. You know who is conspicuously missing? A certain two time Super Bowl champion that is having his best year so far in an already storied career. Where is Roethlisberger? Honestly, for a multiple champion with already some prestigious records under his belt, Big Ben is treated by the national media like he cut the cheese at the opera. This has only begun to bother me, and we’ll be coming back to this next week.

The Purple Packer Eater

I’ve kept quiet on As The Favre Turns for the most part, but after watching his F.U. performance Monday night, I have to ask why Favre is so bent on sticking it to the Packers. I understand he has a wicked sense of screw you aimed at Ted Thompson and probably well justified, but Favre’s mission of destruction is causing a wake of collateral damage that is wide, deep and disturbing.

Look, the history of the NFL is littered with stories of players leaving teams they became stars on, were the face of and heart and soul of for seasons. Some were about money, some were about fame, and some were just the team felt it was time to go in another direction while the player felt he could still play. The 49ers had this play out terribly with Joe Montana and Steve Young in the early 90’s.

I can see the argument from both sides. The Packers wanted to keep Aaron Rodgers, because they knew he would be their quarterback for the next 10 years. And if he had to sit behind Favre one more season, they might lose him. Favre felt he still had something left, and wanted to play but wasn’t willing to being relegated to a support role. Jerome Bettis openly accepted this in the latter stages of his career, but such a role never works well for quarterbacks.

Some people side with the Packers and others with Favre both sides accusing the other of ego, selfishness and poor treatment. And you know what, they’re all right. The Packers handled the putting out to pasture of their sure fire hall of fame leader terribly. And Favre allowed ego and hubris, as well as a wicked case of indecision, to get in his way of seeing the future of a franchise that made him a very rich, very big star. We like to believe the mythos of the NFL, and the tales of greatness weaved from what happens on the field. But at the end of the day, it is a business, for both teams and players. And each, no matter how loyal they are to each other, or how much players love being on a team or the team loves all a player can do for them, must think of the bottom line at the end of the day. This is a sad case of the bottom line for each side being very disparate from the other.

What bothers me is that Favre, no matter how right he may be in his feelings of disrespect from the Packers, and I think they are probably wickedly overblown and ego inflated, continues on this “non revenge” mission to make Thompson look bad. But all he is doing is making himself look childish, embarrassing a franchise that made him a household name and a legend, and worst of all ripping out the hearts of a loyal fan base that supported him through all the highs, and the very deep lows, of his career.

Packer fans are some of the best in all of sports, and a good argument could be put forth that they are perhaps the best. They loved, and still do love, Favre and all he did for their team. Yet Favre, either unwittingly or uncaringly has torn this fan base apart. And for what? He states it’s not revenge, just an opportunity to keep playing the game he loves and perhaps win one more championship. Yeah, that sounds good. But that’s not what I saw on Monday night, and I’m not the only one who saw it either.

I don’t care if Favre eventually plays for every team in the league, or if he wins 10 Super Bowls or plays until he’s 60. It’s his life, and he can do with it what he wishes. And if he wishes to find new and inventive ways to stick it to Ted Thompson, good on him, perhaps he deserves it. But come on Brett, lay off the Packer fans. Reach out to them, thank them for years of service, and say how much you still love them and all they did for you through the years. Acknowledge that yes, it’s probably hard for them to see you in Viking purple, but hey that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten all their love through 16 wonderful seasons. Show them something that tells them all those years supporting you, cheering you and buying your merchandise were not for nothing. Show you’re human and care. And if you cannot do that, then perhaps Thompson should have kicked you in the fanny when he showed you the door.


In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

I give my kingdom for a receiver that scores consistently each week. Well I lost again, this week because once again one of my top performers was my kicker. Although I think all the little things are starting to come together. Yes, I know, I thought that before but this week I picked up Rashard Mendenhall. And he’s playing Detroit! Good Steeler karma will propel me to victory!


He Said He Said

“What's it gonna be next week? Two-hand touch?''- Baltimore pass rusher Terrell Suggs

No Terrell, if you try to do that to Brady, you’d probably be called for illegal use of the hands.

"Being at a loss for words is a good way to put it.'' - Tennessee linebacker Keith Bulluck, on his team's 0-4 start.

As well as a loss of all games thus far. Keep this in mind for a long time Keith, never mess with the Terrible Towel.

“Why, FOX, why? Why show the top 10 plays of Brett Favre's career? How many celebrations of his career have you done, and how many more will you do? What possible relevance do the top 10 plays of his career have this weekend?” – SI.com’s Peter King

You know what’s funny about this? This comment comes from a man who was called in a December 2007 Slate article as “Favre’s most loyal lapdog.” My how times change.

"He challenged me. It was a learning experience." – Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall

Lesson learned, emphatically!

"I don't know how we don't win this every year" – Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl speaking of Pittsburgh being named the number one sports city.

Me either.

"Man, just let us live!" – Steelers tackle Willie Colon in reaction to criticism of the Steelers offensive line.

Willie, I promise to leave you alone as soon as you go two weeks in a row without committing a rookie level mental era. Deal?

“Absolutely embarrassing. Everything is wrong with it right now. I'm not the least bit happy in a lot of areas. I've seen us be tough and physical to soft and bewildered.” – Chargers General Manager A.J. Smith

Uh, A.J., I hate to point out the obvious, but you built this team and hired their coach. If things are embarrassing, and the team stinks, the buck stops at your desk.


Idiot of the week

Yeesh, how in the heck do you pick with such a good week? Of course our aforementioned Mike Sando gets a nomination just for being part of the over hyping Brady and Favre problem. And extra points for ignoring one of the best quarterbacks in the game over several others who have won nothing.

And I would be remiss without nominating Bungles head coach Marvin Lewis. On fourth and 11, with only 64 seconds remaining in overtime, Lewis was going to punt. Carson Palmer had to convince him otherwise. Since when is it ok to play for a tie?

And how can I forget the NFL referees who are apparently so star struck with the wonderfulness of Tom Brady, that with no effort he can Jedi mind trick them into throwing a flag.

But I think the winner this week is Deion Sanders. Neon Deion, in his desperate attempt to stay relevant with today’s player, has taken on several “mentoring” roles that have shall we say, backfired horribly. His advice to Michael Crabtree has produced a young man that will miss half of his rookie season and is looked upon by most people as a stupid, greedy fool for demanding ridiculous money in the worst economy in decades.

Now, he has Oklahoma State receiver Dez Bryant in hot water because Bryant lied abut his relationship with Sanders. Bryant is declared, for now, ineligible to play and could miss the remainder of the season. That would certainly hurt his draft status for next season. Couple that with now Oklahoma State being investigated and could be forced to forfeit wins if it looks like Bryant’s relationship with Sanders was one of a professional nature.

So Sanders’ “mentoring” will cost Bryant college games, that lack of experience and exposure will cost him draft position, which will cost him money. It will cost dozens of players wins, players who will never see an NFL payday. It will cost the university not only wins, but respect and alumni donations.

And then Sunday he went on the NFL Network for an interview to show he’s doing all this for Bryant like a Good Samaritan. No you’re not. You’re doing this because somewhere, you’ll make money off of his talent. He claims he’s doing it to help better these young men and help them escape from troubled backgrounds. He stated his intention is only advise them, give them a role model. And at the same time that stated he believe Bryant lied because he was nervous. Well, if you were really being a good role model, don’t you think he would have taught him is always a good thing to tell the truth?

Sanders claims his intentions are good, and his concern is for more than just these young men as players, but as people and extends to their families and friends as well. But something just smells bad about the fact that two high profile players have been wrapped up in bad situations, and at the center of both is Sanders and his longtime agent Eugene Parker. And just to point it out, Sanders has also helped “mentor” the likes of Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson and DeAngelo Hall.

If this is the kind of advice and help Sanders offers, what young man with NFL aspirations would be “smart enough” to take it? I suggested a few years ago as a joke that Deion should host a reality show in which he does advise new players on how to live large. But I never thought my tongue in cheek suggestion would turn into a show that A) is not broadcast anywhere but in news headlines B) those he mentors take it seriously C) Deion takes it seriously and D) the advice is not merely superficial but creates situations that could affect careers.

Something tells me this is far from over. But in the meantime, for having a raging ego, a desperation to stay relevant, to want to be the Don King of the NFL, for claiming to be only after the best interests of these young men when evidence is starting to point otherwise, for being defiant that what you are doing is good for these young men when the repercussions show otherwise and for being too dumb to know any relationship with college players could at minimum be construed as inappropriate, Deion Sanders you are a massive idiot.


Taking the Week Off

Bears – What else? Continue the Cutler love fest. Bad haircuts for everyone!

Packers – The entire state will go on a beer, brat and cheese bender to try to forget the awful, awful thing that happened Monday. I may join them.

Saints – Drew Brees is taking the offense barnstorming through the Midwest to play semi pro teams. Just the offense though. He wants to show how great his offense is, keep them sharp and that they can win on most fields with only half a team.

Chargers – The unhappy A.J. Smith will personally check each player for their level of cottony softness. I recommend checking Norv Turner for a pulse as well.
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On Tap This Week

Ok, well, I did not win it all last week. Some cat that picked every game correct did that. But hey, it wasn’t too shabby.

Last week: 11-3
Season to Date: 46-16

And even better, the Lady K has extended her overall lead. You go girl!

Sunday

Cincinnati (3-1) at Baltimore (3-1)

No Gaither will hurt Baltimore and Joe Flacco’s ability to work unfettered, but I’m sorry, if you can barely beat the Browns in five quarters how am I supposed to trust you on the road?

Ravens over Bungles

Oakland (1-3) at New York Giants (4-0)

Ugh, Eli Manning could win this game with a broken passing arm.

Giants over Raiders

Dallas (2-2) at Kansas City (0-4)

Ok, if Romo cannot put up big numbers against Haley’s heroes, then the Cowboys should fire everyone, starting with the “general manager”.

Cowboys over Chiefs

Washington (2-2) at Carolina (0-3)

Washington already should fire everyone, starting with the owner.

Panthers over Redskins

Minnesota (4-0) at St. Louis (0-4)

Favre did his work last week. This week, Peterson does his.

Vikings over Rams

Tampa Bay (0-4) at Philadelphia (2-1)

Please.

Eagles over Buccaneers

Pittsburgh (2-2) at Detroit (1-3)

I’m kind of glad Stafford and Johnson will not play. This team looks like it can actually score, so weird. And thank goodness Troy Polamalu will not play. I know we all want him back. But when he comes back, I want him to be healthy enough to do the magical things he does, and more importantly, healthy enough he stays back. I don’t think Pittsburgh will have an issue with this game anyway. Well, unless there’s a controversy during the coin toss.

Steelers over Lions

Cleveland (0-4) at Buffalo (1-3)

If two NFL teams played in northern New York, would it make a sound?

Bills over Browns

Atlanta (2-1) at San Francisco (3-1)

I know Atlanta had a bye week, but I really like this 49er team. Singletary is doing a bang up job, pants dropping and all.

49ers over Falcons

Houston (2-2) at Arizona (1-2)

Ok, time to turn it around Whisenhunt. You had a week to kick some fanny, show us the results!

Cardinals over Texans

New England (3-1) at Denver (4-0)

Revenge of the assistant.

Broncos over Patriots

Jacksonville (2-2) at Seattle (1-3)

Seattle will remain a mess until Hasselbeck is well again. Oh, he’s playing? Hmmm, the straw that stirs the putrid green drink is back.

Seahawks over Jaguars

Indianapolis (4-0) at Tennessee (0-4)

I’m taking the second quarter for when Peyton hits 300 yards for the game.

Colts over Titans

Monday

New York Jets (3-1) at Miami (1-3)

Ok, now Sanchez knows what it’s like to lose in the NFL. How will he respond, in the big lights of prime time? Great question, but I have an idea.

Jets over Dolphins