The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 7

Steelers’ kicker Jeff Reed was arrested outside a North Shore bar in Pittsburgh Sunday night after the game and issued a citation for simple assault, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness. This all came to pass because teammate Matt Spaeth was caught by police in a parking lot for public urination, and when police went to issue Spaeth a citation, Reed jumped out of the vehicle they were riding and decided to intervene. Not only are kickers a weird breed, so are those with whom they socialize. That’s two incidents this year for Jeff. Either he may have a problem, or he just wants to make it as difficult as possible to get that new deal from the Steelers.

Opening Kickoff

The St. Louis Rams have lost 16 straight games. If they knock out the rest of the season, that will put them in a tie with the expansion Buccaneers for the worst losing streak of all time. This is more exciting than the Lions reaching the pinnacle of single season putridity last year. Go Rams!


The Way It Was

How do you lose, at home, against the Bills who had to run with Ryan Fitzpatrick? How?

Last week Giant Antonio Pierce called the game New York played against the Raiders an uninspired scrimmage. I wonder how he felt as Drew Brees treated his defense like a practice squad.

Speaking of the Raiders, the best bird on the field in Oakland was the pigeon that flew down the field on kickoff coverage. And Eagles fans knew it too.

Jets, you’re almost dead to me. Keep it up and you’ll be vacationing with the Cowboys in my dog house.

It’s going to be difficult getting out of said doghouse now when their defense lost nose tackle Kris Jenkins for the season with an ACL tear. Now that a few engines have flamed out, can Rex Ryan keep the Jets from nose-diving? If not, I bet the post game press conferences will be uber entertaining.

Can we cease and desist with the “Sanchize” nonsense? How about we let the boy play a season with some success before anointing him the next Namath? Although, at least no one labeled him with some dumb nickname like M-Sanz.

I’m not sure which I find more detestable, Tom Brady’s smug self satisfied attitude after humiliating an opponent or his infantile, and profanity-laced sideline tirades when the smallest thing does not go his way. But I’m getting really tired of both, as well as the announcers and media members who make excuses or apologize for both. If they won’t say it, I will. Brady is an ass. You don’t see Peyton Manning behaving like that week in and week out.

And speaking of detestable, Mr. Bill Belichick! Oh you can call it what you want, but you ran up the score, again, against an overmatched opponent. And why was Brady playing at all in the second half of that game? Haven’t you learned how much it hurts when you play with fire already Bill?

Yeah, it sure looked like Tennessee quit during that game. Well, maybe not Chris Johnson.

Here’s a crazy stat from that game. The Patriots amassed 432 yards of passing. The Titans amassed -7 yards on 14 attempts. And I thought Derek Anderson’s 2-17 for 23 yards and an interception against the Bills was the pinnacle of ineptitude.

Now do you believe in the power of the neck beard? Now do you see of what I’ve been speaking of for years? I know several million Bronco fans do.

When the Broncos and Bears made their big trade earlier this year, did Denver also get Devin Hester’s mojo? Because it certainly looked like Eddie Royal had it Monday night.

Titans’ owner Bud Adams feels coaching is part of Tennessee’s problem and made no promises regarding the future of Jeff Fisher


The Steel Pit

Steelers 27 – Browns 14

The score in no way reflected how little the Browns were actually in this game. If it weren’t for Joshua Cribbs capitalizing on a special teams breakdown, the score wouldn’t even have been that close. Pittsburgh pounded the Browns into submission for the 12th straight time, like we all figured. A few highlights…

Hines Ward racked up another 100 yard receiving game and now leads the league in yardage. Not bad for a 33 year old man with no ACL.

Heath Miller had a spectacular touchdown catch to open the scoring and a darned good day overall.

Troy Polamalu returned to action and promptly picked off Cribbs running a wild cat, although he did tweak his healing knee in the process.

Big Ben tossed the ball for 417 yards and two touchdowns. Wow, it feels wonderful to have a quarterback who can impose his will upon an opposing team. I bet this is how Colts fans feel all the time.

The defense played inspired, forcing multiple turnovers and sacking Anderson. Plus, they held together better in the 4th quarter. Things may be coming together for LeBeau’s charges. Well, I hope at least.

Those were the good things. Now for the weird and bizarre, of which there was plenty.

Start with Solomon Wilcots, who kept calling Rashard Mendenhall Mendinghall throughout the game. At one point he started pronouncing it correctly, then reverted right back to Mendinghall. Seriously, what kind of preparation does he put into his pregame work?

Hines Ward had a touchdown taken away because he fumbled the ball after he rolled out of the end zone. Yeah, the explanation made sense, but it still felt stupid.

Both teams in the third quarter went through the Bermuda Triangle and came out with a severe case of fumble-itis, with both teams turning the ball over on five consecutive possessions.

But that all paled to the disaster that was officiating. Walt Anderson and his crew had, shall we say, a rough day. Their “highlights”…

Cleveland linebacker David Bowens was flagged for “forcibly taking the quarterback to the ground." I guess you cannot just rough the passer.

Cleveland stuffed Pittsburgh on a 4th and 1, which measurements clearly showed. Yet Anderson signaled Pittsburgh 1st down. Even a total homer as me felt the Browns got jobbed.

At the end of the 3rd quarter, Anderson signaled over the field mic that the game had reached the end of the 1st quarter.

When Ryan Clark intercepted Anderson at the goal line, the officials first ruled Steelers ball at the 20. Then they reversed it, saying it would be Steelers ball at the 1 yard line and that Clark didn’t actually go into the end zone due to “interception momentum”. You got me on that one as well. Suffice to say, yes, I still believe the NFL needs to have full time referees. And I think Browns fans would probably sign my petition if I had one.

Despite everything, I was thoroughly entertained, pleased with the outcome and happy to see a great performance. Now, can they do it again this week against an opponent who is, shall we say, far from a doormat? Cross your fingers kids, because we’re about to guest star in As The Favre Turns!


Only In Faux NFL Reality…

In a very attention-grabbing interview, former Browns great (boy that almost made my copy of Word short circuit) Bernie Kosar stated that when the new Browns were starting to be formed, he pushed the new owner and general manager to give Bill Belichick a second opportunity. That massive, horrific sound you heard was the entire city of Cleveland vomiting upon reading how Kosar was laughed at for such a suggestion and thinking of what might have been.

Hey, happy days are ahead in Oakland! Tom Cable will not face charges of assault. If this were any other team, people would be mortified and shocked. But when you hear it’s about Oakland, you kind of just shrug and think, yeah that makes sense.

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill this week to allow construction of a new NFL stadium in the Los Angeles stadium. It would seem things are finally falling into place for the return of the NFL in LA. You know, except for the actual team.

The Bears inked Jay Cutler to a two year contract extension, locking in the future yacht club denizen through 2013 while granting him roughly $20 million in guaranteed wages. Was this really that big of a priority to do it 5 games into his Bears career? And has he really proven he’s worth that kind of money yet? And people wonder why the Bears never have a good quarterback situation.

Now here are stories you like to hear. Chad Ochocinco, to help avoid a blackout in Cincinnati, teamed up with Motorola to purchase all the unsold game tickets for last week’s match up with the Texans. Kudos to Chad for the effort, although afterward you think that effort was a colossal waste of money. But I’m curious about something. I know times are tough right now, but Cincinnati was really facing a blackout? I mean, the team has stunk for years, but this season going into the game they were 4-1 and leading the division. Shouldn’t that bring the fans out, a chance to see your team successful? And it’s not like it’s trying to get a ticket for a Lakers game, this is the Bungles. Isn’t top price like $1.50 each?

While this is not NFL related, I did find this little snippet of information interesting. The NBA is now selling ad space on practice jerseys. Sure they’re desperate for money, obviously. But the question must be asked; who exactly will be seeing these ads other than the rest of the players and team personnel? Will they also sell tickets to practice? Please, let’s all work together to make sure Jerry Jones doesn’t find out about this.

The Redskins “asked” Jim Zorn to relinquish his play calling duties, claiming that with being head coach, quarterbacks coach and creating offensive game plans, calling the plays during the game is just one task too much. Those duties have now been passed to the newly hired Sherman Lewis. Lewis, until a few weeks ago when Dan Snyder came calling, was calling bingo games at a Detroit senior center. But to reassure all of us, the Redskins did say that Zorn will keep his job through the end of the season. Is there any conceivable way this ends well for anyone?


In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

You know what I really love about fantasy football? I love starting out hot during the first half of games, then coming out of halftime and watching not one point accumulate for hours.

Ok, I know I said last week I expected to lose. But I had some hope when I saw my opponent started three players on their bye week. Obviously, he was not paying attention. You know what happened? I still lost! Of course, all of his players that did play scored in the double digits. Couple that with the fact that as a bye week replacement I started Mark “who do I throw too again” Sanchez who managed to complete half as many passes to the Bills (5 interception) as to Jets (10 for 29 overall). If he just had 0 points, I would have won. 0. I didn’t even need him to account for 1 point. Instead, all he did was take them away.

So I learned this week that you can plan, and study, and research and think deeply and look ahead for good match ups and still lose. And luck, obviously, has something to do with it.

But perhaps I need to face a fact. I might not be very good at this.


Upon Further Review

Panthers’ cornerback Dante Wesley was suspended for this Sunday’s game after leveling Tampa Bay’s Clifton Smith last week during a punt. Smith left the game with a concussion and Wesley was ejected. I imagine Dante will have more time on his hands coming up to work on his people skills when Roger Goodell takes a look at the tape.

Now, before I go on let’s set a few things in stone. First, Wesley’s hit was vicious; he led with his head, left his feet and completely aimed at clocking an unprepared and defenseless player. Smith was waiting to receive the punt and Wesley clearly hit him well before the ball arrived, which is an obvious violation. Tossing him from the game and suspending him are the right moves, especially if the NFL wants to remain serious in their attempts in minimizing dangerous hits and player injuries.

Now, I’m willing to give Wesley the benefit of the doubt that he is not a monster; that perhaps his intentions were merely to hit Smith hard enough to dislodge the ball when he caught it and force a turnover. In the process however he miscalculated the ball’s arrival and in his fervor to make the hit he lost his senses when he left his feet. Considering how football is played, does not such a scenario make almost perfect sense? Sure. Now, that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be punished, but it does explain the situation better.

However, Wesley’s actions or intentions are not the issue today. The issue this situation brings up is a subject that really bugs me, and that is announcers, press, and related media personnel using this play and others like it to decry the violence in the NFL.

First, most of those who make their living following the league have never played in it. So I always find it slightly bothersome when they break out a soap box to make a sanctimonious stand against the violent nature of the game. Yeah, Wesley’s actions were deplorable, but do we really need some 50 year old twit whose lifetime athletic highlight is three trips to the buffet without getting winded looking down his nose at a player for playing rough with others.

For that matter, I find it an extra burr in my saddle when former players turned broadcasters join in the cacophony turning a player into a pariah for his violent play. These gentlemen should know better because they’ve been there. They know what it’s like to be on that field and know how fast things can happen. I’m sure all of them have been in a situation where the intensity of the game, the speed of the action and the skills learned over a lifetime of playing football that have now turned to instinct all combined and they ended up laying a hit or doing something that could have been constituted as over the line. They have been in those trenches, had those experiences and should know better what most likely occurred rather than happily hang one of their own out to dry because of a massive mental breakdown.

Second, let’s face the truth here; football by its very nature is a violent game. It’s one of its biggest, if not biggest, drawing points. One of the reasons we tune in each week is to see someone get smacked so hard they lose their lunch. I mean for Pete’s sake ESPN has a segment called Jacked Up in which they show some of the weeks hardest hits and biggest collisions. Obviously, this aspect of football sells and we are buying it like houses before the bubble burst.

Everyone wants to see more of it, loves watching these strong, fast athletes pound into one another. Fans love to watch, owners love to sell, and networks reap the benefits by bringing it to all of us. Call it a love affair with controlled chaos, but the violence in the game sells. No one thinks of the consequences, though, until someone is laid out prone on the turf. Then, suddenly, that same violence that was heralded a few plays before is now evil and appalling.

And third, even if Wesley’s actions were intentional, that kind of behavior is more the exception than the norm in today’s NFL. However, in the past actions taken to intentionally injure were far more prevalent. If you’ve ever watched an NFL Films program you know his to be true. Heck, some of those old Raiders players still brag about taking guys out. But sensibilities changed and so did how players played the game. If anything, how the league, teams, coaches and players have adapted and moved away from questionable behavior while increasing the quality of play should be commended. But despite those positive changes, the violent nature always remained. And if that nature remains so will the chance that someone may take things too far.

This self righteous and disingenuous stance regarding violence is at best annoying. At worst it is a two faced stance taken by ill-informed people with no real original opinions looking to jump on the latest bandwagon issue for face time and to cull easy favor on an issue that is easy to support. On top of that, they contain no common sense that by taking such a stand, they spit at the master whom they serve. If these people are truly disgusted by the violence of the game, and deeply believe that any player who would commit such an act must be evil incarnate and should be shunned from society, then perhaps it’s time for them to find a new line of work. If you hate so an aspect of the game that has been at the core of the sport since it’s inception, then move on. Cover dog shows, baseball, tennis, anything else that does not include violence at its core. You will be much happier in the long run, and the rest of us will be as well by not having to suffer through another of your long winded pious rants.

However, if you enjoy the violence of the game, revel in it like everyone else and promote it until someone steps too far across the line; then shut up. Because all you do when you complain about the violent nature of football after someone goes too far is look like an ungrateful spoiled brat for ignoring what the NFL provides you as far as making a living and ignorant for so casually throwing a player to the wolves and raking a staple of the game over the coals.

The best way to avoid completely this maelstrom of banality, though, would be for players to take half a second to think before they act in potentially questionable situations. I’m sure this weekend Dante Wesley will be doing plenty of that and about how he’ll handle himself when he gets back on the field. But let me leave this subject with one question that every pompous pundit should have asked before they opened their pie holes. If Smith had caught the ball before Wesley popped him, would this have been just as big an issue, or just another clip on Sports Center?


He Said He Said

''I saw all the Cleveland guys arguing and yelling, so it was, well, the referee knows the rules better than I do. If he says first down, it's a first down.'' – Steelers tackle Max Starks talking of the controversial first down call during the Steelers/Browns clash.

It was luck coupled with zebra stupidity. But I shant complain too heavily.

''He made the call; you have to live with it. I don't know if there was (an explanation). He just said first down and that's it.'' – Browns linebacker David Bowens.

Oh there was an explanation.

''If you shot that angle from the other side, it might actually look like it's further in advance of the stake of what it was.” – Referee Walt Anderson

Uh huh, never mind the people standing right there could see it was not a first down, or that the camera was almost looking down the line.

''We lost. I could've had 2 yards. We lost the game.'' – Jets running back Thomas Jones

Very magnanimous from a man whose career day was completely obliterated by multiple boneheaded plays.

"I just gave that team the win.'' - Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez

Gee, you think so?

“It is a mark of how good Ben Roethlisberger is that he threw for 417 yards, with two touchdowns, and no one noticed. It's becoming routine.” – SI.com’s Peter King

No Peter, no one noticed because his last name is not Brady, Manning, Cutler or Favre.

“The Ravens are not the same on defense this year.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Thank you! I was beginning to think I was the only one who noticed.

"I've been playing sports since I was 8 years old, and never in any sport have I experienced anything like this.'' - Tennessee linebacker Keith Bulluck

Don’t worry Keith the Redskins started a support group a few years ago for teams that Belichick treated like a bitch. But I should warn you once again. Never disrespect the Terrible Towel.

“I just wanted to feel like a winner.” – Titans head coach Jeff Fisher, after donning a Peyton Manning jersey during a charity event.

I’ll give Jeff this; at least he’s maintained his sense of humor.

"My comfort level is somewhere between 1 and 10. It's not at 10." – Redskins head coach Jim Zorn

Understatement of the year.


Idiot of the week

Hmmm, good week this was, plenty of idiots abounded throughout the NFL. So who should we choose? Perhaps Mark Sanchez would be the perfect choice? No, the kid did play boneheaded, but hey he is a rookie and every rookie has at least one of those meltdown games. How about the referees at the Steelers/Browns game? Oh, they deserve it, but perhaps they too just had one of those games. Maybe Dan Snyder for his increasingly poor track record is the choice? Oh, he’s an idiot, but let’s save him for another week.

This week I would prefer to go with an old favorite, Andy Reid. Yes, losing to lowly Oakland is terrible and justification enough, but it’s how he did it. He wasted all of his timeouts while there was still over 4 minutes left in the first half, managed the clock terribly at the end of the first half and showed no backbone every time the Eagles were deep in the Raiders red zone, settling for field goals instead of going for the big score.

All those were plenty bad, but the worst, and what really pushed him over the top, was his game plan. Reid has two excellent running backs in Brian Westbrook and LeSean McCoy. Both are versatile and explosive. The Raiders have the 30th ranked run defense in the NFL, meaning only two teams are worse at stopping the run. With these factors in place you would think this would be slam dunk obvious what he should do, right? Wrong. Reid only called a total of 14 running plays the entire game, despite the fact that at no point was the game so far out of reach that he needed to rely solely on the pass to attempt to catch up.

So Andy, for still being unaware of how to use timeouts efficiently and manage the clock wisely despite over 10 years of head coaching experience, showing no boldness in scoring situations and not fully utilizing all the weapons at your disposal against an inferior opponent, you are an idiot.


Taking the Week Off

Ravens – I imagine heaping more blame upon Steve Hauschka for losing the Minnesota game while making more excuses and apologies for a rapidly declining defense. But who cares?

Broncos – Colorado is joyously basking in the warmth and wonder of the Neck Beard, whilst wondering who this Jay Cutler character is that Chicago fans seem to love.

Lions – Saying their prayers and giving thanks that they don’t play for the Rams.

Jaguars – My guess is trying to find a way to sign Tim Tebow without having to deal with pesky details like college eligibility or the draft, and do it preferably before next week.

Seahawks – Jim Mora Jr. keeps hearing his father’s words ringing in his head…”Playoffs!?! Don’t talk about playoffs!”

Titans – I’d say finding a way to turn things around, but it would seem some players are too busy getting worked up in a ridiculous lather regarding Fisher’s “winner” joke. That will galvanize everyone into becoming winners again.


On Tap This Week

So, did my goofy pick of Kansas City pay off? You know it did, but how big?

Last week: 11-3
Season to date: 67-23

That big! Even better? I won the week and am right at the top with the Lady K for the overall lead. That’s right kids, look out because we’re both gonna run away with it. Thank you Mr. Cowboy, I’ll take it under advisement, hit it again.

Sunday

San Diego (2-3) at Kansas City (1-5)

Geez, Norv Turner can outcoach Todd Haley right? Right?

Chargers over Chiefs

Minnesota (6-0) at Pittsburgh (4-2)

Talk about a real test for the Pittsburgh defense. If they are finding their groove, they need it right now. They do not call Adrian Peterson All Day for nothing. Perhaps Mr. Woodley and Mr. Harrison can repeatedly introduce Mr. Favre to the Heinz Field turf. Yes, I’d like that.

Steelers over Vikings

Indianapolis (5-0) at St. Louis (0-6)

Oh please. Peyton will be watching highlights on his Sony HD while ordering Sunday Ticket with his MasterCard before halftime.

Colts over Rams

New England (4-2) at Tampa Bay (0-6)

London Baby! The NFL’s third England game, and this year it seems no one really is feeling the hoopla. Probably because this game is going to be over before the teams actually take the pitch. I’d like to say karma will smite Belichick for keeping Brady in the game at all in the second half, and smite Brady altogether for smirking like the douche bag he is afterwards. But these guys seem to skirt karma in weird ways unless it’s a huge payback. Well, maybe their luggage will get lost in Heathrow airport.

Patriots over Buccaneers

San Francisco (3-2) at Houston (3-3)

This is called, the game which the NFL universe forgot.

Texans over 49ers

Green Bay (3-2) at Cleveland (1-5)

Hamm, I feel like some cheese.

Packers over Browns

Buffalo (2-4) at Carolina (2-3)

Eh. I mean really, you feel good about Ryan Fitzpatrick on the road?

Panthers over Bills

New York Jets (3-3) at Oakland (2-4)

Ok, Rex and company I’m giving you just one more chance. Screw me again and you’re officially dead to me.

Jets over Raiders

Atlanta (4-1) at Dallas (3-2)

Ok, let’s be honest here Atlanta is the better team. But surely Dallas can pull out a win at home when they’ve had two weeks to rest and prepare, right? Right?

Cowboys over Falcons

New Orleans (5-0) at Miami (2-3)

I told you, I’m riding this Big Easy train until it derails. I see no need to hop off now. Next stop, beautiful Miami.

Saints over Dolphins

Chicago (3-2) at Cincinnati (4-2)

I wonder if Jay Cutler will go pass happy on the Bungles like Schaub did last week….

Bears over Bungles

Arizona (3-2) at New York Giants (5-1)

I’m back and forth on this one, since Arizona seems to be rounding into form a bit. But I just get a feeling the Giants are going to be making a point that last week was an aberration, and Warner and company are going to be exhibit A in that demonstration.

Giants over Cardinals

Monday

Philadelphia (3-2) at Washington (2-4)

It’s difficult to feel good about a team that could muster absolutely nothing against the Raiders. But how can you feel good about a team riding a dookie coated waterslide?

Eagles over Redskins