The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 8

It is Halloween weekend in the NFL. I heard to scare fans Brett Favre was going to dress up as Viking. Wait, that’s not a costume but his real uniform? Oh my.

Opening Kickoff

Hey, did you hear prodigal son Brett Favre is returning to the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field to face his old team in enemy colors? No? Wow, you really would think the NFL would advertise such an event more than once every 30 seconds.


The Way It Was

In the Texans victory over the 49ers, Andre Johnson left the game and was sent to the hospital with a lung contusion. Johnson was spitting up blood on the field. Mercifully, Johnson has recovered and looks set to play again this week. Although that’s a scary sight.

The New Orleans Saints staged a memorable second half comeback from down 24-3 at one point. And this occurred on Drew Brees’ statistically worst day this season. Honestly, what can stop this team at this at this point? The Steeler defense looked great last Sunday, but I have my doubts that even the Black and Gold could stop Brees and company.

Now that’s the Reggie Bush the saints drafted. Bush scored a touchdown after launching himself from the 6 yard line and my jaw dropped about six yards at the same time. Scintillating.

Seriously John Fox, your job is on the line. Jeff Garcia is doing nothing. What would it hurt at this point? It couldn’t possibly be worse than the weekly Jake Delhomme turnover fest.

I cannot stand the Bills. Make up your mind guys; are you good or do you suck?

Hmmm I completely forgot about the Cedric Benson revenge game last week. Boy he stuck it to Chicago big time.

So did Carson Palmer, for that matter.

That big money for Cutler sure seems worth it this week, no? Kudos to Chicago for investing in a “leader”.

Wow JaMarcus Russell was so bad the Raiders gave up and went Bruce Gradkowski. Sadly for Oakland fans, head coach Tom “you mess with the bull you get the horn” Cable announced after the game Russell will remain the starter. Like it makes a difference either way, the team still sucks.

Jets running back Leon Washington broke his leg on an awful play and is now gone for the season. See, nothing good ever happens in the Black Hole.

How good is Miles Austin? I hope Romo is picking up the tab every time Austin goes out to dinner, because Miles is saving his bacon and the team’s season almost singlehandedly at this stage.

Will the real Cowboys please stand up? Is this the real team that whacked a good Falcons team or is the real team the other one who barely put away a crappy KC team? I’m just curious regarding how I should rank you for the remainder of the season.

Wow, good for you Phillip Rivers. You kicked the crap out of the Chiefs. Guess your team is Super Bowl ready now!


The Steel Pit

Last week on As The Favre Turns, an evil presence invades the town of Kiln, and Favre faces his first major setback in his Packer payback tour.

Wow, what an exciting game between two very good teams. And I got my wish. On the last play of the game, Mr. James Harrison introduced Mr. Brett Favre to the Heinz Field turf! Maybe James is a regular reader. If you are Debo, thanks for that one, I loved it!

Obviously I am thrilled with the outcome, especially the defensive performance, but let’s get a bit of controversy out of the way.

I agree and will not start an argument with anyone. The tripping penalty against Jeff Dugan was ticky tack, but if the Vikings were a better team they would have scored on the very next play. And they didn’t. Their defense did well shutting down Pittsburgh’s attack, more than well enough to win the game. But bad play calling by Brad Childress and two turnovers by Brett Favre that lead to 14 defensive points were the true difference. Get over it.

Speaking of said defensive points, outstanding performances by LaMarr Woodley and Keyaron Fox, making heads up plays and scoring decisive touchdowns. Even better was the defense on both plays setting up a convoy down the field to allow these gentlemen to score. It reminded me fondly of Super Bowl 43.

Not so great, the Vikings breaking a kick return for a touchdown after one defensive touchdown. Nice tackle Jeff Reed. Quit thinking about the post game party and focus on your job.

Like I said, I dug the defensive performance. Yes, they did give up a ton of yardage, which is always sub-optimal. But what they did won the game. They sacked Favre 4 times and kept him from scoring, took two turnovers in for scores and displayed tremendous grit on a decisive third quarter goal line stand that kept Minnesota out of the end zone. This series alone turned momentum toward Pittsburgh and kept the defense amped up on a day the offense did not show its best stuff. On top of that, they held Adrian Peterson to under 100 yards.

And speaking of which, how good is Peterson? That play near the end of the game where he ran over William Gay was fabulous. I think they’re still digging Willie out of the turf.

Ok, the offense did not have its best game, but that doesn’t mean it did awful. They made plays when they had to, overcame some stifling coverage to score one touchdown and the offensive line was increasingly superb. That unit opened wide running lanes and gave Big Ben tremendous protection against a top notch defense. If the offense had been able to find their rhythm, this game would not have been as close.

The only real bad things that came from this game were Mendenhall’s dumb fumble inside the five yard line, another head scratcher, and of course Lawrence Timmons and Travis Kirschke leaving the game with injuries. With a week off, they could be set for the second half of the season, but we shall see. In the meantime, Steeler fans can savor over the bye week a big win over a good opponent.


Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Another week, yet another questionable call in a football game. People lost their minds complaining about the very questionable tripping call that cost Minnesota a touchdown in their loss to Pittsburgh. But what bugged me is that no one mentioned Benny Sapp's illegal hit on Ben Roethlisberger. Last week on a similar hit between Dante Wesley and Clifton Smith, people fell all over themselves to decry the hit, vilify Wesley and once again complain about the violence in the NFL. This week, with a similar situation except the intent was obvious since Ben was out of bounds when he was hit and Sapp seemingly launched himself after Ben left the field of play, not only was Sapp not tossed from the game, but people are ignoring the subject altogether.

Last week I argued that perhaps in the speed of the game, Wesley operated on instinct instead of thinking the situation through. I will argue the same for Sapp as well. He’s starting for an injured player, trying to make an impression and stop a vital element of his opponent. Perhaps Sapp got caught up in the moment. Yeah, I hated the play, but I’m willing to be consistent here and give a benefit of the doubt. However, why am I the only one? Talking heads that spewed from their soap boxes regarding the evil of Wesley said not one word about Sapp. And officials who rightfully tossed Wesley last week were nowhere to be found in Pittsburgh, as Sapp continued to play the remainder of the game. If the NFL wants it’s officiating to be taken seriously, it needs to be consistent in these situations. If one guy gets tossed for a vicious hit, then you need to toss every guy who does a similar act. But disappointingly, everyone ignored yet another terrible call and example for the argument for full time referees. It was more vogue to focus on how poor old Brett Favre got jobbed.

And yes, even though I am an unabashed Steeler fan, even I have to vehemently agree that the tripping penalty was terrible at best. But, I’m not going to complain about it too hard. Every team gets jobbed by a bad call every season. I could rattle off terrible calls against the Steelers just from this year alone. I still maintain the same argument whether the call goes for or against Pittsburgh. The better team will overcome such hurdles and emerge victorious. Well, at least until the NFL gets a clue and hires full time referees to establish some semblance of consistency and professionalism.

Apparently, Joe Gibbs will not be coming back to Redskins. I figured that man had enough common sense to not even be considered in the running.

The NFL stated this week they would like to have one team to play in London annually. I cannot imagine a team willingly giving up home date revenue each season to make this pipe dream a reality, but I can think of several fan bases more than happy to ship their team overseas for multiple games.

Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford chose to have shoulder surgery, ending his collegiate career and setting himself up for next year’s draft. Now, NFL talking heads have been blabbering how Bradford, by not declaring for the draft last year, has lost millions of dollars. This is one of the dumbest statements I’ve ever heard. How can a man lose millions of dollars he never had in the first place? All he lost was potential at millions, and considering his reputation, something tells me come contract time Bradford will not have to buy generic brands to pinch a penny.

Titans’ owner has decreed that head coach Jeff Fisher start Vince Young over Kerry Collins. If the owner is telling you how to coach and who to play, that’s not a good sign for job security, right?

In light of his incredibly stupid and insulting remarks this week, the Chiefs have suspended running back Larry Johnson and barred him from team activities. It still amazes me how dumb Johnson is, and how big of a jerk he continues to become. What’s the over/under before this guy gets wrapped up in another criminal investigation? I’m taking the under on 1 year.

Because of ongoing punting problems, the Broncos signed Mitch Berger this week. Yeah, that’ll turn the whole thing around. Actually, it might. The Steelers did win a Super Bowl with Berger. Hmmm, Mitch Berger good luck charm.

Ray Lewis spent his bye week watching the University of Miami play from a private suite and doing tequila shots. Gee, I wonder why the Ravens defense has slipped this year.


In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

What did I learn this week? Well, I learned that when you have a great week, and your opponent yet again has a monster week, you take your loss graciously. Luckily, I’ve had much practice.

Strangely, I did have a great week, and once again my opponent had a career week. I’m not sure what cosmic forces are causing this, but I worry not now. Why you asked? Because I have a secret weapon for next week, but his presence this week will turn the tide. I now have Jeff Reed on my team. So even if we lose, it’ll be one heck of a party!


Upon Further Review

Favre and the Vikings versus the Packers. It’s THE story and game to watch. I think no matter which team you side with or where your allegiances lie you have to agree with this.

Now, I think after watching him this season, we can also agree that Favre is still a top tier quarterback. His game is still there, as well as that special magic that pulls out at least one or two games a season. I’m sure at least half the teams in this league would drool to have his talent and pedigree suiting up for them each week.

In the same vein, I think we can also all agree he’s turned into a major league egomaniacal ass as well. Yeah, I know he felt he was forced out of Green Bay and that Ted Thompson should pay for such a mistake. Great, if that’s your motivation, drive and belief Brett, run with it. And I’m sure Brett has more than a leg to stand on in his beliefs. I have mentioned often there is plenty of blame between both Thompson and Favre to spread evenly around. They both contributed in creating this uncomfortable and embarrassing situation for the Packers team, Favre and the fans. However, my issue is not between those two, but how Favre continually insults Packer fans in the process of his Thompson revenge tour. Packer fans really are like the child caught in the middle of a bitter divorce.

This really bothers me because Packer fans are some of the best fans in all of sports. They are knowledgeable, devoted, invested in the team no matter how good or bad they are and always gracious to their opponents no matter which team wins.

But how Favre has handled his side of the situation has fashioned a brother versus brother state of affairs in Green Bay leaving fans conflicted about how they came to this crossroads with one of their greatest stars.

Reports are fans are going to boo Favre when he takes the field. Fans already in preparation for the game have conducted a mock funeral for Favre. These are serious fans who feel as though they are being punished for just loving a team and one of its all time greatest stars and are now trying to move past this incredibly awkward situation.

I’ve read a bunch of articles this week regarding this game, and most of them told Packer fans it’s time to let it go, get over it and move on. I ask why they should do that. It's not like they brought this situation about. Favre has stated multiple times for the fans to get over it. Why? He is one of the key components that brought this awkward state to fruition. Sure, hey may be nothing but a me-first mercenary at heart, but that doesn’t mean his former fans are. It’s easy for him to let it go. He toyed with their emotions with his annual retirement because it suited him, not them. He started breaking his allegiances and emotions years ago, but they never did. He's the one who wanted out. He's the one who finagled his way into Minnesota purple. If Packer fans want they should be allowed to be as angry, upset or insane as they want or need to be. (Keep in mind this is still a fantasyland of pro sports so it's all absurd if you think about it)

Yes, in truth Packer fans should move on. It’s not like keeping such negative feelings burning for a long time is good for anyone. Plus, it creates bad mojo overall and there are more important things in life to concern oneself with than for what team some overgrown child plays. But like Forrest Gump once said, you have to put the past behind you. And Packer fans letting Favre have it for three hours will go a long way toward Green Bay putting that past behind them.

I hope they boo him, from the moment he steps on the field until the game is over. Let him know his ego and selfishness have hurt other people. That he has taken all the love and support those fans gave him for so many years and threw it away like a used Kleenex. Show him that type of behavior, that selfishness, that cold hearted attitude has consequences, it is not acceptable. Show him he’s not as great or universally beloved as he thinks he is. Not like he'll care, or even presume to care, but I think such great football fans should use this moment to make a point to the rest of the sporting world as well. Show Favre and all other mega star athletes that bottom line is Favre is nothing more than a very good football player and not the cultural icon his ego reflects in his mirrors. Once they do that, then I say they’ll be in a position to move on, and I hope getting it out of their system on a crisp Wisconsin Sunday helps achieve that goal. Packer fans are too good to start morphing into Eagle fans, and good gravy we certainly do not need more fans ready to boo at the drop of a cheese steak.


He Said He Said

“This game should have gone to OT after a Vikings field goal knotted it at 20, or the Vikings should have had a touchdown with less than a minute to go, leading to a narrow victory. But that's football." – SI.com’s Peter King

Awww, sounds like someone is all sad Favre lost.

“He can't be human. Dude's made of steel." Steeler cornerback William Gay on Adrian Peterson

You would know better than anybody Willie. Just curious, have you found your lunch yet?

"Are you kidding me! That is unacceptable." - Fox announcer Daryl Johnston on Jeff Reed's pathetic tackle attempt during the Steelers-Vikings game.

Don’t forget pathetic Daryl.

“I like the call by Brad Childress, down 13-6 after three failures at fourth-and-goal from the Steelers' one. With Casey Hampton over the first-year starter at center, John Sullivan, Childress went for the field goal. I'd have taken the three points instead of going for the seven.” – SI.com’s Peter King

And like Childress you'd have lost too. Fortune favors the bold, Peter.

"I want to apologize for that. I wasn't feeling very good and didn't eat much before the game, so I was feeling a little queasy. Toward the end of the game, I probably should have eaten one of those bars or something, but someone offered [a hot dog], so I grabbed it and tried to be discreet about it, but obviously not discreet enough. So I shouldn't have done that, and it won't happen again." - Mark Sanchez, on eating a hot dog on the bench in the fourth quarter

Seriously? He has to apologize for eating a hot dog? What is the world coming to when a man needs to apologize for sneaking a hot dog? Come on people, loosen up. I thought it was funny as all get out.

"My father played for the coach from 'rememeber [sic] the titans.' Our coach played golf. My father played for the redskins beiefley [sic]. Our coach. Nuthn [sic]." -- Running back Larry Johnson twittering after yet another Chiefs loss

Hey, Larry, try this for a change it might work. Run your legs and not your mouth.

"We know the N-word is unacceptable, that's not disputable -- but f*g? I'm learning that there's a segment of our society that finds it offensive and that it should not be used. I didn't realize that, but I do know now..." – Peter Schafer, agent and lawyer for Larry Johnson, claiming he did not realize the f-word was a gay slur

Really? And this guy is a lawyer? Is there any reasonably educated person in this world, and by reasonably I mean watched more than 5 minutes of news in their lifetime, that could possibly buy this lame explanation?

"…start with ownership." - Washington cornerback Carlos Rogers telling the media where the team's problems are originating

Wow. This is going to end so spectacularly bad.

"There's no sentiments, really, one way or the other." – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre

Honestly Brett? You cannot even fake it and lie and say yes, it means something? I hope Packer fans egg his restaurant after the game.

"I want to smack Eric Mangini so hard he poops himself. The Browns are the new Lions. It's horrific." -- WWE wrestler The Miz

You and half of Ohio and a good portion of New York as well. And yes, I included this one because who doesn’t love a quote with the word poop in it?


Idiot of the week

Yum, Halloween filled my idiot bag with tons of goodies. From Larry Johnson proving again what an ass he is with his ridiculous twittering insult of his coach and then showing his ignorance once again by dropping a gay slur and being promptly suspended to his lawyer claiming he did not know said slur was offensive. Then you have Bud Adams decreeing from on high, Dan Snyder destroying from same perch, more on this next week, and Brett Favre trying once again to get his restaurant next to Lambeau Field to go bankrupt. How does one choose with so many delicious choices?

I’ll tell you how; you go with the biggest idiot. And this week, the biggest idiot is Brad Childress.

Now, his game plan against the Steelers would be plenty to garner the award. You have the best running back in the league going against a run defense weakened by the loss of a key starter and said running back only carries the ball 18 times? You have first and goal at the one and said running back only gets 2 cracks, yet you had more than four chances to pound the ball across the goal line? And you have a 40 year old quarterback playing in chilly weather against a defense known for its propensity toward sacking the quarterback and you have him throw 55 times, resulting in no touchdowns, two turnovers returned for scores and 4 sacks? Yeah, that’s dumb.

But what really was the icing on the cake was a tidbit I read in Don Banks’ column this week, where apparently on the plane ride from Minnesota to Pittsburgh, Childress made the flight, dolled up in a dress, wig, lipstick and blue nylons. Now, what people do in their own lives is their own thing, I have no problem there. Hey, sometimes stepping out of your norm can be fun. Nor do I have a problem with practical jokes and hazing. The history of the NFL is littered with such stories and they are always funny. Under different circumstances, this story would be hilarious.

But as head coach, do you really think it’s a good idea to submit to such a prank as you travel for your biggest game of the season thus far, with your undefeated record on the line and a real test for your team going against the defending Super Bowl champions? Is it really more important to be one of the guys in this situation, or would it be better to cut a figure of the man in charge with the plan to topple the champs and seat your team as the one to beat? I’d lean toward the latter, but hey, that’s just me. Like I said, I dig such jokes, but I think they’d be a better fit for road trips to say Cleveland.

So for a terrible game plan underutilizing your best assets, over utilizing a potential weakness, once again not cutting an image of the man in charge and starting Halloween a week early, Brad Childress you are an idiot.


Taking the Week Off

Bengals – I hope they’re finding a way to get back to being the Bungles, but they’ll probably just tuck into advanced copies of Ochocinco’s new book. I smell Pulitzer!

Chiefs – Oh, you know, the usual stuff a team does on its bye week. Suspending its running back for insulting the coach and dropping gay slurs, coming up with substandard game plans, looking terrible in general and giving zero hope to Kansas City fans everywhere.

Patriots – Belichick will spend the week practicing his grumpy guy routine while Tom Brady stares at a mirror making smug self satisfied faces and muttering, yeah, that looks good.

Steelers – Besides teaching Matt Spaeth about indoor plumbing and Jeff Reed about moderation, the team has to stock up on silver cleaner. Amazing how fast that stuff runs out when you have so much hardware to clean each week.

Buccaneers – Who cares what the players are doing, fans are sitting in their homes, arms wrapped around their legs rocking back and forth muttering, this is not happening, this is not happening.

Redskins – I imagine Dan Snyder will find some way overpay another mediocre player and further emasculate Jim Zorn, but I just cannot figure out how.

Sunday Night Football – Why are operations shut down this week? Is it to avoid a conflict with the World Series? No. It’s so Peter King can be in Green Bay to salivate over Brett Favre in person.


On Tap This Week

Did I win the week last week? No. Did I remain consistent and in the overall lead? Yes.

Last week: 10-3
Season to date: 77 - 26

I also noticed that through the first seven weeks, I am the only one who has had double digit wins each week. And now that I noticed that factoid, I shall proceed to go 0-13 this week. But there’s always hope otherwise, right?

Sunday

Denver (6-0) at Baltimore (3-3)

Ok, I said before do not go against a team that has come off a bye week. But what if both of them had the week off? You go with the Neck Beard.

Broncos over Ravens

Houston (4-3) at Buffalo (3-4)

You know what? Buffalo’s defense is pretty good. Their offense, on the other hand….

Texans over Bills

Cleveland (1-6) at Chicago (3-3)

There is always a chance Cribbs could run back a kick return or punt for a touchdown and Cutler could throw 3 or 4 picks and Cleveland could pull of an upset. But there’s also a chance a meteor could land in my backyard containing a small baby wrapped in a red cape.

Bears over Browns

Seattle (2-4) at Dallas (4-2)

Since I can never guess which Seattle team will show up, and Dallas is at least more consistently mediocre….

Cowboys over Seahawks

St. Louis (0-7) at Detroit (1-5)

Ewww.

Lions over Rams

San Francisco (3-3) at Indianapolis (6-0)

Good for Alex Smith, pulling himself off the bust scrap pile and back into a starting job. But, bad for Alex Smith pulling this game as his first start in 2 years.

Colts over 49ers

Miami (2-4) at New York Jets (4-3)

Yeah, call me a glutton for punishment, but I think Rex Ryan will have something in store this time for Miami. Plus I cannot get behind a team that blows such a huge lead at home as Miami did last week.

Jets over Dolphins

New York Giants (5-2) at Philadelphia (4-2)

How exciting, the Yankees and Phillies for a key World Series game while the Eagles and Giants face off for the division lead in the city of Brotherly Love. I hate to say it, but Philadelphia fans will be disappointed at least once today. I can’t see New York losing three in a row, can you?

Giants over Eagles

Oakland (2-5) at San Diego (3-3)

Even Norv Turner cannot screw this one up, right?

Chargers over Raiders

Jacksonville (3-3) at Tennessee (0-6)

I think the Titans have made proper amends for their desecration of a powerful talisman last year. Well, I think so; let’s see what the Terrible Towel thinks.

Titans over Jaguars

Carolina (2-4) at Arizona (4-2)

I think Larry Fitzgerald should play in the Cardinals secondary this week. He’ll double his receptions easily.

Cardinals over Panthers

Minnesota (6-1) at Green Bay (4-2)

Is Minnesota the better team? Yes. Will they win? Probably. But you know what? Sometimes the power of will can make amazing things happen. And the will of Packer fans will be for a Green Bay victory.

Packers over Vikings

Monday

Atlanta (4-2) at New Orleans (6-0)

Why get off that train now, especially after such a scintillating win last week? What does it say about New Orleans that they can cream an opponent on Drew Brees’ worst day of the season?

Saints over Falcons