The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 13

In the wake of the Tiger Woods scandal, a new one is brewing that will blow the doors off of Tiger’s Escalade. Peyton Manning has a “transgression” that will rock the sporting world to its core. Peyton prefers…..Visa! Batten down the hatches, kids, this one’s gonna be huge!

Opening Kickoff

Wait a minute; did I really see advertising the other week stating the Titans and Texans comprised the nastiest rivalry in the NFL? Oh no no no, that's just not true. Does no one remember last year’s AFC Championship game? That is the nastiest rivalry in the NFL. And dang it, we lost round one.

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The Way It Was

Did everyone else enjoy watching Bill Belichick run up the white flag against the Saints as much as I did? I think Sean Payton should have stuck it to him with multiple late game scores, but he’s not a jerk like good ol’ Bill.

Awww, poor Tom Brady had to take a seat. Now, why don’t they do that in games New England is winning handily?

The Saints may be the most enjoyable and most fun team to watch in the NFL.

Something told me to take Houston over the Colts. Boy am I glad I don’t listen to that voice very often.

Really Andy Reid, an onside kick off to start the game? Dillhole.

Wow, the Eagles really know how to drag out the end of a half. I believe there’s still 15 seconds until halftime left.

Did Indianapolis forget to pack their defense when they traveled to Houston? Oh no wait, they found it. Had it packed under Peyton’s head shots.

And for the umpteenth week in a row, which Panther team will show up? Darn, it’s the crappy one.

The Panthers need to have an intervention with John Fox and his insistence on putting the game in Delhomme’s hands instead of his running backs. Honestly, if you’re not going to switch quarterbacks, then at least play to your strengths.

Now how did I forget Kyle Boller was starting for the Rams? Oh yeah no one knows who plays for the Rams.

Go Chris Redman, revive that career my man!

Really, Jack Del Rio? You’re down by 17 with 7:36 left in the game with a 4^th and goal from the 3 and you attempt a field goal? Yeah that’ll turn the tide.

Boy, San Diego sure was mean piling it on against poor little Kansas City. Funny too how fast the Chiefs returned to form after their big victory over Pittsburgh. Grrrr.

Chris Johnson made wonderful 85 yard touchdown run. Shame it was spoiled on the very next play by the Titans giving up a kick return for a touchdown.

I knew the Wildcat would be useless without Ronnie Brown, and wrong I was not. They used Ricky Williams in the formation at the quarterback role, and he promptly tossed an interception in the end zone.

I think the NFL should amend their officiating rule book and require that no matter the game or weather, Ed Hochuli must always wear a tank top.

The Giants placed linebacker Antonio Pierce on injured reserve with a bulging disk in his neck. At least New York has that Yankees World Series win to savor.

The Browns placed nose tackle Shaun Rogers on injured reserve as well. Like that will make a difference in the crater that is the Browns season.

The Falcons released long time, yet ineffective, kicker Jason Elam. I wonder if the Colts will sign him to back up Matt Stover, who they signed to back up Adam Vinatieri when he was injured.

The NFL established a new set of rules regarding concussions, stating players showing any sign of a concussion may not return to action that day. This is a great step in the right direction regarding this issue. And while I agree with Gregg Easterbrook that more needs to be done (scroll down to the concussion update) let’s look at the positive side here. Finally the NFL is taking this issue seriously and taking action as opposed to their previous stance of ignoring the issue, giving lip service and throwing up smoke screens about the seriousness of head injuries.

Ok, yes, I’ll admit the Steelers handled Ben’s concussion and game status rather sloppily. If he wasn’t good enough to start, he should have been made inactive instead of dressed as the third string quarterback. It looked especially bad compared to the Cardinals, who did not mess around and took Kurt out of the equation all together. But let’s not overlook the important fact that the team did not allow Roethlisberger to play at all. As teams, players and coaches adjust to the new reality of how to handle concussions, there will be mistakes made and clumsy actions. But as long as the end result is that injured players sit, then the NFL and its teams are moving in the right direction.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 17 Ravens 20 OT

I’ll be honest I did not expect much from this game. I figured with Dennis Dixon making his first start on the road in Baltimore, the team reeling a bit and the Ravens looking for some semblance of payback after last year’s demoralizing AFC Championship game loss, Pittsburgh would probably lose.

However, even with expectations at an all time low, it hurt worse than I thought. I was prepared to absorb a loss, but a heartbreaker in overtime? No, I wasn’t ready for that. And I figured right from the start we might have a chance when I saw big Ed Hochuli stride onto the field. That’s always good times.

I said before the game that Baltimore’s plan on defense would be to stack the box and dare Dixon to throw. They did, and Mendenhall made them pay and Dixon showed chutzpah against a fierce rush. Did the Ravens’ plan work? I’d say less than successful.

Considering their obstacles, the offense did quite well. Against a good, if showing its age defense, Rashard Mendenhall had over 100 all purpose yards and looked more and more the number one running back. The line played well and Dennis Dixon did everything asked and a bit more. He did lose some accuracy in the second half, but he still did well, throwing for one touchdown and running for another.

When a backup starts, especially one as raw as Dixon, all you can ask of him is to control the ball, keep the offense moving, make a few big plays and avoid turnovers. And Dixon did this admirably for 60 minutes. Unfortunately no one told Dennis about overtime. Yes, I’m sure he’d love to have that last pass back. But the truth remains, he should have never been in that situation.

I also said Baltimore’s offensive game plan would be to consistently pick on cornerback William Gay and safety Tyrone Carter with intermediate to long passes while hitting Ray Rice on short passes. Unfortunately, I could have been wearing a name tag that said Hello My Name is Nostradamus.

Yes, the defense did limit Ray Rice to very few rushing yards. But what they didn’t limit was the big plays. And those killed the team. The worst was in the 4^th quarter, when Baltimore was stuck in a 3^rd down and 22 yards to go situation while the Steelers held a tumultuous 3 point lead. Baltimore gained 17 yards to set up a 4^th and 5. And what happened? A pass to Ray Rice underneath that resulted in a first down as well as huge gain which set up the game tying field goal.

Everyone needed to step up and play lights out in the absence of both Polamalu and Roethlisberger, but the defense failed at the end, again. This marks the fourth game the defense gave away in the fourth quarter, and it would seem all the replacements, new starters and ages are catching up with the unit. While I know half the teams in the league would love to have this defense in their current shape, as fans we’ve seen them at their best, and this is not it. Perhaps this is just not Pittsburgh’s year. Hey, you cannot win them all I suppose.

And now, the team sits on a three game losing streak and on the outside of the wild card chase. It’s strange to say that, and realize its true, since three weeks ago the Steelers were poised to take over the division. Excuse me while I go attach a car battery to my earlobes and shock myself back to February of this year.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

So did I hear right during Thursday night’s game? Yankee manager Joe Girardi is helping Mark Sanchez learn to slide? Apparently Sanchez will need some additional lessons.

Ok, now once was annoying, but as a regular segment? No. The Windows 7 seven words to recap segment has got to go; it’s pure awful. Are networks and the NFL that desperate for advertising dollars as to create this new level of ridiculousness? They can't be right? Obviously shame plays no part. I have 7 words I like to use when I see this sort of invasive, blatant advertizing, but you can't say them on television.

Here’s a great article detailing the creation of the first objective test for concussions. Anyone else surprised that once again, the Steelers led the NFL in change for the better?

Two workers doing maintenance at Cowboys Stadium slipped and fell both suffering significant injuries. If I worked for the Cowboys and someone asked me to go up on a roof or in the rafters, I think I’d answer with a definitive hell no.

If I ever have kids, I am not going here when it’s time for their birth. No way, it’s just too creepy.

Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was cited for going 109 mph on a Minneapolis highway last week. Good gravy, why was he going so fast, he’ll never catch Chris Johnson for the rushing title that way.

You know that commercial for NFL Play60 where Drew Brees throws a pass to President Obama while Troy Polamalu defends? I like the commercial, and more importantly the message of getting kids out to play and exercise more. But Troy, with all the injuries you’ve had this season, do you think extra curricular stuff like that is wise? The Madden Curse lives.

Did you hear Jets coach Rex Ryan complaining the other week about the Patriots disrespecting his team by throwing long with the game already in hand? Hey, Rex, I know you spent a few years in the AFC North, but come on. Is this the first time you’ve seen the Patriots? That’s what they do dingbat.

Clear a path people, “genius” coming through! What a jerk.

In Pittsburgh, there is a weekly TV show called the Steelers Huddle. This season they have had revolving hosts, I suspect in an attempt to find a new permanent host. Last year, the host was Hines Ward. This season, they’ve had Ryan Clark, Max Starks and others take a turn. This week, the guest host was kicker Jeff Reed, who performed his duties wearing at t-shirt that said I don’t wanna grow up. No duh Jeff.

Woah, check it out. Steeler country converted actor Jake Gyllenhaal, a long time Patriots fan, into a Steeler fan. Take that Tom Brady.

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

I lost by 11 points. I started Atlanta’s defense because I figured, against the Buccaneers they might score me some points. They scored 4 points. The Jets defense, however, scored 24.

One of these days, I’ll figure this thing out. But for now, there’s still hope for a winning season record. So here we go!

Upon Further Review

I should have saved the link, but I read in an article this week regarding the Eagles that the NFC East has 11 Lombardi trophies within the division. So I thought, hey, let’s look at all the divisions and see who has the most trophies and how many teams hold them. Just a fun little exercise; after all we don’t have to delve deep into a serious subject every week.

NFC East:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 11

Teams Won: Cowboys (5) Giants (3) Redskins (3)

NFC North:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 4

Teams Won: Packers (3) Bears (1)

NFC West:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 6

Teams Won: 49ers (5) Rams (1)

NFC South:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 1

Teams Won: Buccaneers (1)

AFC East:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 6

Teams Won: Patriots (3) Dolphins (2) Jets (1)

AFC North:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 7

Teams Won: Steelers (6) Ravens (1)

AFC West:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 6

Teams Won: Raiders (3) Broncos (2) Chiefs (1)

AFC South:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 2

Teams Won: Colts (2)

What did I find interesting? There were more trophies in the AFC West than I realized. A handful of teams are really hogging all the glory. And if you’re a fan of a team in either South division, it’s been a lonely time. Well, lonely for those fans and Browns and Bungle fans.

He Said He Said

“You gotta flush that thing to become a hole” – Matt Millen on Thursday Night Football

That’s what she said.

''Please don't talk to me about moral victories and things of that nature.'' – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

Yo, Mike, I only want to talk of actual victories. Think we can do that this week?

"Any time you have a lead in the fourth quarter and lose, it stinks." – Steelers defensive end Brett Keisel

Been quite a bit stinking lately.

“Not even close.'' - Carolina quarterback Jake Delhomme on if he’s had a season as frustrating.

Until next season, if one exists for Jake.

"I've spoken to no teams and don't intend to do so while there is a current head coach.'' – CBS NFL analyst Bill Cowher

Say it with me Bill, Show Me The Money!

"Anybody that sees us coming, they better bring their best, because that's what we're bringing to the table.” - Steelers offensive tackle Willie Colon

Willie, tell the defense it’s time to bring their share to the table as well.

"We will unleash hell here in December." – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

Since most of November has been rather hellish, why not?

"I almost couldn't do it, because I was peeing my pants. I'm serious." – Titans owner Bud Adams on watching his team’s game winning drive

Uhhh, yeah. Make up your own Depends joke here, I’m leaving this one alone.

“It's not fun but you can get knee replacement surgery, you can have rotator cuff surgeries, but you can't get a new brain.” – Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger

Excellent point Ben, although if that ever becomes an option I’ve got a list of people I’d like to submit.

"I think it's probably one of the friendliest cities I've spent time in in America and I've really enjoyed that. Maybe it's because I'm an outsider and I see things a little clearer, but nobody ever talks about the beauty of the architecture in Pittsburgh, the churches, the steeples." – actor Russell Crowe talking about Pittsburgh

Thanks Russell. Maybe if someone like you extols the virtues of this great city, everyone else will finally get what I’ve said for years, and understand why this place is beyond great and one of the best places to live in the world.

Idiot of the week

I’ve detected several patterns in idiots this year. It’s full of guys who punch, Eric Mangini, and sadly Steelers.

This week’s winner is one of my favorite players, receiver Hines Ward. Unless you’ve been on the moon, by now you’ve heard Ward’s comments regarding Ben Roethlisberger, his concussion and missing Sunday night’s game at Baltimore.

Ward spent all week performing damage control, and while he may be honest in his assertion that his comments were out of frustration and misconstrued, the damage is still done.

By opening his yap in the first place, Ward created a maelstrom of controversy over an already white hot topic. Everyone and their nephew chimed in deriding Hines and his opinions. If it weren’t for Tiger and his transgressions, it would probably have been the big topic of the week.

Not only that, but by questioning Roethlisberger’s courage, and if you ask me it takes more to admit to having a concussion, he made Ben look bad in front of everyone. And anyway, how can anyone even question Roethlisberger at this point? He willingly stands behind an offensive line that routinely gives up sacks. If that’s not brave, what is? Plus, it wasn’t even Ben’s call to sit out; it was the doctor’s call.

The whole episode made Hines look even dumber when you take into account that he fully supported Ryan Clark when he sat out the Denver game because it risked his long term health. Hines, playing could potentially risk Ben’s long term health, what’s the difference my man?

Ward’s statements were ignorant and uninformed at best, and irresponsible and divisive at worst. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ward and way he plays the game. But his attitude and opinions reflect a culture in the NFL that is long overdue in changing, and at least now grudgingly headed toward that very change. I’m glad in some way he apologized to Ben, and has made some attempts at fixing the mess, but that doesn’t change one simple fact. This week, Hines you are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

I kept thinking last week I was getting creamed, but overall, the damage was not too bad.

Last week: 10-6

This week: 1-0

Season to date: 125-52

It wasn’t great though, as I lost most close games, and on top of that the cat at the top extended his lead. Ouch. Well, it ain’t over, I hear no fat lady warming up yet. And yes, my win/loss totals have been slightly adjusted. Realized somewhere I messed up the math. Apparently simple addition is beyond me some days.

Sunday

Philadelphia (7-4) at Atlanta (6-5)

I think Andy Reid is planning on starting this game off with a pooch punt. Regardless, how confident do you feel in Chris Redman starting his first game in almost two years? Me either.

Eagles over Falcons

Tampa Bay (1-10) at Carolina (4-7)

Ugh. Well, I’m going with Carolina, but I will not be surprised if Josh Freeman pulls out a plucky win on the road. I hate the Panthers so much right now.

Panthers over Buccaneers

St. Louis (1-10) at Chicago (4-7)

Hey, Cutler can beat St. Louis, right? Ha ha ha!

Bears over Rams

Detroit (2-9) at Cincinnati (8-3)

I know Larry Foote is accustomed to beating the Bungles, but I think like his former team, he’ll be sorely disappointed come Sunday evening.

Bungles over Lions

Tennessee (5-6) at Indianapolis (11-0)

Indianapolis has been winning with overachieving rookies, Peyton playing at MVP levels and a large dollop of luck. Plus with the division and a playoff spot locked up, they can pretty much cruise to the number one seed. Tennessee has been riding Chris Johnson’s cape backed by a newly confident Vince Young and are fighting for an outside hope at a wild card spot. I’m talking myself into something crazy….

Titans over Colts

Houston (5-6) at Jacksonville (6-5)

Grrrr. It doesn’t matter who I pick in this one, the other team will win. Some games just chaff my rear. This is one of them.

Jaguars over Texans

Denver (7-4) at Kansas City (3-8)

Yeah, I know. Denver has a crappy record against the Chiefs in Kansas City during the month of December. So what? For the past few years, the Chiefs have a crappy record in Kansas City from September through December.

Broncos over Chiefs

Oakland (3-8) at Pittsburgh (6-5)

Big Ben is back, the team is at home and a long time hated rival is invading Heinz Field. It’s time to put this season back on the right track and get in position for a playoff spot. Now.

Steelers over Raiders

New England (7-4) at Miami (5-6)

Hmmm, gee, since Belichick despises division opponents, and Miami is shorthanded without Ronnie Brown, I wonder what will happen…

Patriots over Dolphins

New Orleans (11-0) at Washington (3-8)

Next stop on the Saints Express, our nation’s capital. Boy, this bandwagon is super comfortable and comes with every amenity.

Saints over Redskins

San Diego (8-3) at Cleveland (1-10)

If Norv Turner cannot beat Cleveland, then he’s a worse coach than Eric Mangini. Well, even if he does that debate may still rage in my own head.

Chargers over Browns

Dallas (8-3) at New York Giants (6-5)

Ok, yeah, Romo and the Cowboys have had middling success in December. But right now, New York would give Eli’s right foot for middling success.

Cowboys over Giants

San Francisco (5-6) at Seattle (4-7)

I’m sorry I doubted you last week, Mike Singletary. I will not make the same mistake this week.

49ers over Seahawks

Minnesota (10-1) at Arizona (7-4)

Oh wow, as soon as he takes the field, Brett Favre will break yet another record this one for most consecutive starts. Peter King will then explode.

Vikings over Cardinals

Monday

Baltimore (6-5) at Green Bay (7-4)

Is Baltimore’s defense still a world beater? No. Is Green Bay’s offensive line better? No. But I still like the Pack at home, and not just because it’s good for Pittsburgh’s playoff hopes. But that does help.

Packers over Ravens