The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 17

Wow, the end of the regular season. How did we get here? I cannot believe in a mere 12 hours, the magical ride that is the NFL season will be over. Of course, for Rams fans, that could not come soon enough. After today, 20 NFL teams will fold their tents, never to be heard from significantly until August. Savor each moment, because in one month, the cold reality of the off season will strike us all.

Opening Kickoff

Now do you believe me that the NFL loves having as many teams as possible in contention? It should be obvious since the Dolphins and Jaguars have been in the post season conversation all week. Even though for either team to make the playoffs it would take a scenario as unlikely as OJ escaping prison to bring the “real killers” to justice on the Today Show as he reveals his cure for cancer.

The Way It Was

Bungles and Patriots clinched their divisions, and now are in a fight for the top remaining seeds in the AFC. How can I keep them both interested…?

Dolphins certainly showed their mettle. Oh no wait, they did not.

Colts rolled over and played dead, and by the look on Peyton’s face, that was not his first choice.

Saints shat the bed against Tampa Bay. Now, tell me again who exactly does not think special teams are important and crucial?

Oddly enough, they clinched the top seed in the NFC despite losing. That will prompt a gift basket to Vikings headquarters.

Look, there’s another one already there. What does the card read? “Dear Brett and Brad, thanks to you two sewing seeds of dysfunction, even your defense looks poor now. It made me look like the winner others believe I am! Have a great 2010! Big hugs, Jay Cutler”

Hey, good on the Packers! They destroyed the Seahawks and clinched a playoff spot. Boy, Aaron Rodgers sure is good in December, no?

Could the Giants, in their last game in their own stadium, possibly have played worse?

Steve Smith broke his arm catching a touchdown, season over. Well, not like the Panthers were gunning for Super Bowl at this point anyway.

Wow, go on with your bad self Matt Moore. I seem to remember me touting this young man a few seasons ago, with no one listening then…

The Steel Pit

I’ll give the team this much, that was a darn good win and an excellent way to close out the home season. If for no other reasons, it gave the home town fans one last victory in person and kept miniscule playoff hopes alive.

And even better, for once the defense gave up a total of 0 points in the 4^th quarter. Sure, they gave up the lead in the 3^rd, but once Big Ben took it back, they did not relinquish it again.

Now, I know what you’re going to say, and I totally agree. The Ravens inexplicable self destruction certainly did help tremendously. I could not agree with you more. But if you play undisciplined football, you must suffer the consequences. Something some Ravens have had trouble swallowing this week. But cry me a river. Play a better game; you’d already be in the playoffs. Steeler fans know that all to well this season.

By the way, a big thank you goes out to Derrick Mason for dropping a sure touchdown. I think a gift basket should be headed his way.

In other positive news, Ben Roethlisberger was named the team’s MVP for the season. That’s a big obvious call in my opinion. Well, so should a Pro Bowl nod for Big Ben, but hey who ever paid attention to the obvious.

Regardless, I’d venture the argument Ben is the least valuable player. Oh, not because he’s bad. But because when he’s in the game, too many other players seem to get lazy and this mind set that if they screw up, Big Ben will bail them out. Unfortunately, that has been the case far too often this season. Perhaps Ben should run a seminar in some mini camps about bringing your A game every week.

Ok, now on to the sad reality. For Pittsburgh to make the playoffs, they need the Texans and Jets to lose. Which means the team and fans must root for the Patriots and Bungles, respectively, to win. Talk about a revolting development. And considering developments around the league, one or both of those teams may just sit their starters and let the chips fall where they may, which would be disastrous for Pittsburgh’s slim playoff hopes. Personally, I’m going with the same attitude I had last week. I expect nothing and figure after today, my boys will be headed for the front 9. But as long as there is some slim hope, I’ll be there. But we shall see.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Wait, Bill Cowher may coach in 2010? Combined with all the talk about Shanahan and Gruden, the Coaching Carousel will start with a bang next week.

It would seem that Reggie Bush’s questionable dealings with an agent have yet to go away. Funny is it not how this has lasted longer than his relationship with Kim Kardashian.

These are halcyon days to be a Chiefs fan, I tell you what.

Wait, the Redskins interviewed a current assistant for current head coach Jim Zorn’s job? Wow, Dan Snyder is no longer being subtle about Zorn’s future. Well, after publically emasculating Zorn, like he was anyway.

When it comes to NFL conspiracies, this may be one of the dumbest I’ve ever heard. LaMarr, it’s time to grow up. You guys put yourself in this position, not the Patriots or Bungles.

Upon Further Review

Only in the NFL will you have a team that finishes week 16 at 14-1, and roundly booed at home by their own fans. Sounds absurd right? You know teams like Detroit or St. Louis would fall all over themselves if they had a chance where they might be 14-1 no? Their fans would lose their minds if told their team would be 14-1, and would call others idiots for booing such a team. And yet, that’s what we had last week in Indianapolis.

The Colts, and their green head coach, pulled Peyton Manning and other key starters late in the 3^rd quarter last week. The Colts second string promptly gave up the lead and eventually the game to the desperate Jets. The Colts faithful were livid at the team for giving up on 16-0, booing the team loudly for the remainder of the game. Normally, I’d call them spoiled and entitled fans that really do not remember how awful the team once was. But in this case, I agree.

Now, I know the correct thing to say would be, no our focus is not on going undefeated but merely to win the championship. Every team that goes deep into the season without a loss says the same thing. But you know players would love to put such an indelible stamp on the NFL history books. Peyton Manning said the previous week that an undefeated season is not their goal, none of the players talk about such things and that they would follow Coach Caldwell’s lead without question or gripe. Yet did you see him in the 4^th quarter of the Jets game? He paced the sidelines, with helmet still on and agonizing look stitched on his face, like a caged lion desperate to be let loose. Was that the behavior of a man who truly cares less about winning every game? I think not.

And let’s just take a look at recent history to see if this action plan of resting players really works.

In 2008, eventual champion Pittsburgh played their starters in the last game of the season, to the consternation of most and almost decapitation of Ben Roethlisberger. Despite no extra rest, although they did have a bye week in the playoffs, the team went on to win it all.

In 2007, eventual champion New York played a fierce regular season finale against New England to try and stop the Patriots march to 16-0. While the Giants failed in that game, their play and experience gained from playing New York hard to the end has been stated as a key to their victory over New England in the Super Bowl. The Colts rested starters this year and fell in the playoffs to San Diego.

In 2005 eventual champion Pittsburgh played their starters through the last game, mostly because of their need to do so just to make the playoffs. But the experience of playing each week as though it were the playoffs hardened a team that went on an unprecedented run through the playoffs and became a very unlikely Super Bowl champion. The Colts, much like this year, sat starters early and most did not play a meaningful game, or minutes for almost a month. In their first significant game, they were defeated in the divisional round by, the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Regardless of whether extra rest will keep starters fresh or the team more focused, it does not matter. All that matters now for Caldwell is he must guide his team to a Super Bowl victory. At this point, nothing else will suffice. Otherwise, this plan just turns the 2009 campaign into yet another wasted season and another overly cautious move of resting starters for weeks before a meaningful game only to see them play questionably when it matters most. And we’ve all seen this script played out before, and unfortunately so have Colts fans.

He Said He Said

"It’s going to be an exciting Sunday to figure out what happens with all the scenarios." - Steelers receiver Hines Ward

Exciting is hardly the word I would use.

"We’re not dead yet. We still got a pulse in this thing, and we’ll continue to control the things that we can control." – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

I hate to point out the obvious, but you could have done that in the Chiefs game, or Raiders, or Browns….

“Missed opportunities is the moral of this story.'' Ravens defensive back Dominique Foxworth

For you and me both my man.

''I think that call was very late. It didn't seem like if affected the play.'' – Ravens head coach Jim Harbaugh on the holding call that wiped out a McGahee touchdown run

Well, it did, so quit your whining butt bag.

"There was no chance I'd drop it. I'd die before I'd drop that ball. Then I fell into the end zone, and when I got up, I knew it was broken.'' – Panthers receiver Steve Smith on breaking his arm and then scoring a touchdown

And that’s why it takes a special person to play in the NFL. Dumb? Maybe, but definitely special.

"I disagree with their whole scheme ... They don't let me rush. They're all against me, or whatever.'' – Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth

Meow meow meow, I make tons of money but I bitch because I signed for wicked millions with a team with poor coaching, questionable ownership and an deteriorating chain of command. Meow meow meow. Enjoy the off season you unstable ass.

"It sort of felt like 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles.'' NFL referee Bill Leavy on getting caught in weather, diverted by plane and caught in traffic trying to get to Baltimore to officiate the game.

Was John Candy there? Were you going the wrong way? Sorry, I love that movie and just had to ask.

“There's no denying it now. Rivers is playing the best football of any quarterback drafted in the past six years”. – SI.com’s Peter King

Oh yeah Peter? Let me ask you two quick questions. One, has Rivers thrown, at all or recently, for over 500 yards in a game? And two, exactly how many Super Bowls has he won? Now, answer those questions and ask me if you would like to rephrase your BS statement.

“I think the NFL is going to have to ask questions to the Competition Committee, and soon, about whether it's smart to ask fans to pay real money if teams are going to treat late-season games like exhibition games.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Now, that I will agree with whole heartedly.

Idiot of the week

I think this week it’s pretty obvious, the idiot is Colts rookie head coach Jim Caldwell.

Look, Caldwell was playing it safe in his first year in charge, with a potent team poised to go far into the playoffs. Yes, that makes sense. You want to have your best horses at their top strength ready for the playoffs. Every team poised to make a Super Bowl run wants that. And you certainly do not want to expose said horses to unnecessary risk by having them play in a meaningless game. I mean, look at Pittsburgh last year, they almost got Roethlisberger killed last year in the season finale and look how that turned out. Oh wait, that’s a bad example.

However, when you screw up a potential undefeated season with a rookie backup who was ridiculously underprepared to take the field, cheese off the paying home town fans and basically turn the good will from the media built up over the course of a very impressive season into a week’s worth of scathing commentary and second guessing with one fell swoop, well, that means only one thing in my book. Jim Caldwell, you are an idiot, and welcome to the fickle world of the NFL.

On Tap This Week

Everyone in the top 5 in my pool picked the exact same teams, except one, who is now tied with the lady K for 1^st thanks to picking Chicago over Minnesota. That doesn’t mean I had a bad week.

Last week: 11-5

Season to date: 166-73

The Lady K is tied for first, I’m tied for 4^th, there’s 5 people 3 points apart for the top 4 spots with one week to go. Now I have to figure out who has what left to play for, and how they might perform, who is just mailing it in until they can go golfing, who is mailing it in until the playoffs, who wants to rest starters, take a week off, and who wants to win, just to win. It’s too much, there’s too much on the line, and damn it, I want that Wii!

Relax, breathe, and let it go. All good things will come with patience and a clear mind. Now, all I need is one or two teams to show they have a damn bit of moxie….

Sunday

Indianapolis (14-1) at Buffalo (5-10)

Let’s see, the Indianapolis backups or a team that admittedly kicked a field goal just to avoid a shut out. Hmmmm….

Colts over Bills

New England (10-5) at Houston (8-7)

Yeah, like Belichick likes to lose games period. I’m sorry, but I have trouble going against Belichick because you know he likes to stick it to everyone. And he wouldn’t want to go into the playoffs on a loss. Although Schaub to Johnson may cause some issues.

Patriots over Texans

New York Giants (8-7) at Minnesota (11-4)

How can I feel good about a New York team that basically rolled over for a injury decimated Carolina team, at home, and said thank you sir may I have another? Of course, how can you feel good about a Minnesota team that melted down with a chance for the number one seed, and now risk not even having a bye week?

Vikings over Giants

San Francisco (7-8) at St. Louis (1-14)

Mike Singletary gets a non losing season, and his turnaround continues.

49ers over Rams

Atlanta (8-7) at Tampa Bay (3-12)

Atlanta finally gets two winning seasons in a row, the first time in the team’s history.

Falcons over Buccaneers

Pittsburgh (8-7) at Miami (7-8)

Yes, all is on the line. I know my boys can come through. For once.

Steelers over Dolphins

Chicago (6-9) at Detroit (2-13)

Oooh, Cutler has two good games in a row, and Bear fans will lose their mind about what that means for 2010. Forgetting the 10 other holes in the offense and defense. Regardless, 2009 ends well.

Bears over Lions

New Orleans (13-2) at Carolina (7-8)

Carolina will be without Steve Smith. And I just cannot imagine that Sean Payton will allow New Orleans to go into the post season on a 3 game losing streak.

Saints over Panthers

Jacksonville (7-8) at Cleveland (4-11)

I trust Jacksonville in the cold a tiny bit less than Cleveland. Either is crappy if you ask me.

Browns over Jaguars

Philadelphia (11-4) at Dallas (10-5)

We saw what the Eagles did to Dallas last year when all Dallas had to do was win and they were in, right? Well this year, Philadelphia has a shot at a bye week. I wonder who might win…

Eagles over Cowboys

Tennessee (7-8) at Seattle (5-10)

Seattle’s horrid season comes to a terrible close.

Titans over Seahawks

Washington (4-11) at San Diego (12-3)

Jim Zorn’s public embarrassment comes to a whimpering end. And Norv Turner looks like a bigger genius. Frightening.

Chargers over Redskins

Green Bay (10-5) at Arizona (10-5)

Arizona has screwed me so many times this season I’m not going with them today. This means they’ll just screw me again. Oh well, let’s call it one last time for the road.

Packers over Cardinals

Kansas City (3-12) at Denver (8-7)

Brandon Marshall has been benched for the game due to a bad hamstring. Wow, that’s a pretty pathetic excuse. If you’re a star player, and your team is playing it’s most important game of the season, and you’re bitching so much about your leg hurting they bench you? Hey Brandon, in last year’s Super Bowl Hines Ward’s leg was practically falling off and he played. I guess it is all about you. Good luck with a new contract somewhere else next year.

Broncos over Chiefs

Baltimore (8-7) at Oakland (5-10)

Yeah, I’d like to see Oakland win, but I’d also like to see a money tree sprout in my back yard. Some things probably won’t happen, especially when Charlie Frye could be prominently involved.

Ravens over Raiders

Cincinnati (10-5) at New York Jets (8-7)

I know, by the time we get to this game Cincinnati could have nothing to play for and lay down against the Jets, rolling out the red carpet for New York to waltz into the playoffs. But Cincinnati is a better team, Sanchez is terrible in big games, and dang it I have to hope. Plus, that would be terrible karma if Cincinnati did that, and they need all they can get with the playoffs looming.

Bungles over Jets