Riding The Pine

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 17

2010-01-03T08:19:00.001-08:00

Wow, the end of the regular season. How did we get here? I cannot believe in a mere 12 hours, the magical ride that is the NFL season will be over. Of course, for Rams fans, that could not come soon enough. After today, 20 NFL teams will fold their tents, never to be heard from significantly until August. Savor each moment, because in one month, the cold reality of the off season will strike us all.

Opening Kickoff

Now do you believe me that the NFL loves having as many teams as possible in contention? It should be obvious since the Dolphins and Jaguars have been in the post season conversation all week. Even though for either team to make the playoffs it would take a scenario as unlikely as OJ escaping prison to bring the “real killers” to justice on the Today Show as he reveals his cure for cancer.

The Way It Was

Bungles and Patriots clinched their divisions, and now are in a fight for the top remaining seeds in the AFC. How can I keep them both interested…?

Dolphins certainly showed their mettle. Oh no wait, they did not.

Colts rolled over and played dead, and by the look on Peyton’s face, that was not his first choice.

Saints shat the bed against Tampa Bay. Now, tell me again who exactly does not think special teams are important and crucial?

Oddly enough, they clinched the top seed in the NFC despite losing. That will prompt a gift basket to Vikings headquarters.

Look, there’s another one already there. What does the card read? “Dear Brett and Brad, thanks to you two sewing seeds of dysfunction, even your defense looks poor now. It made me look like the winner others believe I am! Have a great 2010! Big hugs, Jay Cutler”

Hey, good on the Packers! They destroyed the Seahawks and clinched a playoff spot. Boy, Aaron Rodgers sure is good in December, no?

Could the Giants, in their last game in their own stadium, possibly have played worse?

Steve Smith broke his arm catching a touchdown, season over. Well, not like the Panthers were gunning for Super Bowl at this point anyway.

Wow, go on with your bad self Matt Moore. I seem to remember me touting this young man a few seasons ago, with no one listening then…

The Steel Pit

I’ll give the team this much, that was a darn good win and an excellent way to close out the home season. If for no other reasons, it gave the home town fans one last victory in person and kept miniscule playoff hopes alive.

And even better, for once the defense gave up a total of 0 points in the 4^th quarter. Sure, they gave up the lead in the 3^rd, but once Big Ben took it back, they did not relinquish it again.

Now, I know what you’re going to say, and I totally agree. The Ravens inexplicable self destruction certainly did help tremendously. I could not agree with you more. But if you play undisciplined football, you must suffer the consequences. Something some Ravens have had trouble swallowing this week. But cry me a river. Play a better game; you’d already be in the playoffs. Steeler fans know that all to well this season.

By the way, a big thank you goes out to Derrick Mason for dropping a sure touchdown. I think a gift basket should be headed his way.

In other positive news, Ben Roethlisberger was named the team’s MVP for the season. That’s a big obvious call in my opinion. Well, so should a Pro Bowl nod for Big Ben, but hey who ever paid attention to the obvious.

Regardless, I’d venture the argument Ben is the least valuable player. Oh, not because he’s bad. But because when he’s in the game, too many other players seem to get lazy and this mind set that if they screw up, Big Ben will bail them out. Unfortunately, that has been the case far too often this season. Perhaps Ben should run a seminar in some mini camps about bringing your A game every week.

Ok, now on to the sad reality. For Pittsburgh to make the playoffs, they need the Texans and Jets to lose. Which means the team and fans must root for the Patriots and Bungles, respectively, to win. Talk about a revolting development. And considering developments around the league, one or both of those teams may just sit their starters and let the chips fall where they may, which would be disastrous for Pittsburgh’s slim playoff hopes. Personally, I’m going with the same attitude I had last week. I expect nothing and figure after today, my boys will be headed for the front 9. But as long as there is some slim hope, I’ll be there. But we shall see.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Wait, Bill Cowher may coach in 2010? Combined with all the talk about Shanahan and Gruden, the Coaching Carousel will start with a bang next week.

It would seem that Reggie Bush’s questionable dealings with an agent have yet to go away. Funny is it not how this has lasted longer than his relationship with Kim Kardashian.

These are halcyon days to be a Chiefs fan, I tell you what.

Wait, the Redskins interviewed a current assistant for current head coach Jim Zorn’s job? Wow, Dan Snyder is no longer being subtle about Zorn’s future. Well, after publically emasculating Zorn, like he was anyway.

When it comes to NFL conspiracies, this may be one of the dumbest I’ve ever heard. LaMarr, it’s time to grow up. You guys put yourself in this position, not the Patriots or Bungles.

Upon Further Review

Only in the NFL will you have a team that finishes week 16 at 14-1, and roundly booed at home by their own fans. Sounds absurd right? You know teams like Detroit or St. Louis would fall all over themselves if they had a chance where they might be 14-1 no? Their fans would lose their minds if told their team would be 14-1, and would call others idiots for booing such a team. And yet, that’s what we had last week in Indianapolis.

The Colts, and their green head coach, pulled Peyton Manning and other key starters late in the 3^rd quarter last week. The Colts second string promptly gave up the lead and eventually the game to the desperate Jets. The Colts faithful were livid at the team for giving up on 16-0, booing the team loudly for the remainder of the game. Normally, I’d call them spoiled and entitled fans that really do not remember how awful the team once was. But in this case, I agree.

Now, I know the correct thing to say would be, no our focus is not on going undefeated but merely to win the championship. Every team that goes deep into the season without a loss says the same thing. But you know players would love to put such an indelible stamp on the NFL history books. Peyton Manning said the previous week that an undefeated season is not their goal, none of the players talk about such things and that they would follow Coach Caldwell’s lead without question or gripe. Yet did you see him in the 4^th quarter of the Jets game? He paced the sidelines, with helmet still on and agonizing look stitched on his face, like a caged lion desperate to be let loose. Was that the behavior of a man who truly cares less about winning every game? I think not.

And let’s just take a look at recent history to see if this action plan of resting players really works.

In 2008, eventual champion Pittsburgh played their starters in the last game of the season, to the consternation of most and almost decapitation of Ben Roethlisberger. Despite no extra rest, although they did have a bye week in the playoffs, the team went on to win it all.

In 2007, eventual champion New York played a fierce regular season finale against New England to try and stop the Patriots march to 16-0. While the Giants failed in that game, their play and experience gained from playing New York hard to the end has been stated as a key to their victory over New England in the Super Bowl. The Colts rested starters this year and fell in the playoffs to San Diego.

In 2005 eventual champion Pittsburgh played their starters through the last game, mostly because of their need to do so just to make the playoffs. But the experience of playing each week as though it were the playoffs hardened a team that went on an unprecedented run through the playoffs and became a very unlikely Super Bowl champion. The Colts, much like this year, sat starters early and most did not play a meaningful game, or minutes for almost a month. In their first significant game, they were defeated in the divisional round by, the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Regardless of whether extra rest will keep starters fresh or the team more focused, it does not matter. All that matters now for Caldwell is he must guide his team to a Super Bowl victory. At this point, nothing else will suffice. Otherwise, this plan just turns the 2009 campaign into yet another wasted season and another overly cautious move of resting starters for weeks before a meaningful game only to see them play questionably when it matters most. And we’ve all seen this script played out before, and unfortunately so have Colts fans.

He Said He Said

"It’s going to be an exciting Sunday to figure out what happens with all the scenarios." - Steelers receiver Hines Ward

Exciting is hardly the word I would use.

"We’re not dead yet. We still got a pulse in this thing, and we’ll continue to control the things that we can control." – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

I hate to point out the obvious, but you could have done that in the Chiefs game, or Raiders, or Browns….

“Missed opportunities is the moral of this story.'' Ravens defensive back Dominique Foxworth

For you and me both my man.

''I think that call was very late. It didn't seem like if affected the play.'' – Ravens head coach Jim Harbaugh on the holding call that wiped out a McGahee touchdown run

Well, it did, so quit your whining butt bag.

"There was no chance I'd drop it. I'd die before I'd drop that ball. Then I fell into the end zone, and when I got up, I knew it was broken.'' – Panthers receiver Steve Smith on breaking his arm and then scoring a touchdown

And that’s why it takes a special person to play in the NFL. Dumb? Maybe, but definitely special.

"I disagree with their whole scheme ... They don't let me rush. They're all against me, or whatever.'' – Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth

Meow meow meow, I make tons of money but I bitch because I signed for wicked millions with a team with poor coaching, questionable ownership and an deteriorating chain of command. Meow meow meow. Enjoy the off season you unstable ass.

"It sort of felt like 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles.'' NFL referee Bill Leavy on getting caught in weather, diverted by plane and caught in traffic trying to get to Baltimore to officiate the game.

Was John Candy there? Were you going the wrong way? Sorry, I love that movie and just had to ask.

“There's no denying it now. Rivers is playing the best football of any quarterback drafted in the past six years”. – SI.com’s Peter King

Oh yeah Peter? Let me ask you two quick questions. One, has Rivers thrown, at all or recently, for over 500 yards in a game? And two, exactly how many Super Bowls has he won? Now, answer those questions and ask me if you would like to rephrase your BS statement.

“I think the NFL is going to have to ask questions to the Competition Committee, and soon, about whether it's smart to ask fans to pay real money if teams are going to treat late-season games like exhibition games.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Now, that I will agree with whole heartedly.

Idiot of the week

I think this week it’s pretty obvious, the idiot is Colts rookie head coach Jim Caldwell.

Look, Caldwell was playing it safe in his first year in charge, with a potent team poised to go far into the playoffs. Yes, that makes sense. You want to have your best horses at their top strength ready for the playoffs. Every team poised to make a Super Bowl run wants that. And you certainly do not want to expose said horses to unnecessary risk by having them play in a meaningless game. I mean, look at Pittsburgh last year, they almost got Roethlisberger killed last year in the season finale and look how that turned out. Oh wait, that’s a bad example.

However, when you screw up a potential undefeated season with a rookie backup who was ridiculously underprepared to take the field, cheese off the paying home town fans and basically turn the good will from the media built up over the course of a very impressive season into a week’s worth of scathing commentary and second guessing with one fell swoop, well, that means only one thing in my book. Jim Caldwell, you are an idiot, and welcome to the fickle world of the NFL.

On Tap This Week

Everyone in the top 5 in my pool picked the exact same teams, except one, who is now tied with the lady K for 1^st thanks to picking Chicago over Minnesota. That doesn’t mean I had a bad week.

Last week: 11-5

Season to date: 166-73

The Lady K is tied for first, I’m tied for 4^th, there’s 5 people 3 points apart for the top 4 spots with one week to go. Now I have to figure out who has what left to play for, and how they might perform, who is just mailing it in until they can go golfing, who is mailing it in until the playoffs, who wants to rest starters, take a week off, and who wants to win, just to win. It’s too much, there’s too much on the line, and damn it, I want that Wii!

Relax, breathe, and let it go. All good things will come with patience and a clear mind. Now, all I need is one or two teams to show they have a damn bit of moxie….

Sunday

Indianapolis (14-1) at Buffalo (5-10)

Let’s see, the Indianapolis backups or a team that admittedly kicked a field goal just to avoid a shut out. Hmmmm….

Colts over Bills

New England (10-5) at Houston (8-7)

Yeah, like Belichick likes to lose games period. I’m sorry, but I have trouble going against Belichick because you know he likes to stick it to everyone. And he wouldn’t want to go into the playoffs on a loss. Although Schaub to Johnson may cause some issues.

Patriots over Texans

New York Giants (8-7) at Minnesota (11-4)

How can I feel good about a New York team that basically rolled over for a injury decimated Carolina team, at home, and said thank you sir may I have another? Of course, how can you feel good about a Minnesota team that melted down with a chance for the number one seed, and now risk not even having a bye week?

Vikings over Giants

San Francisco (7-8) at St. Louis (1-14)

Mike Singletary gets a non losing season, and his turnaround continues.

49ers over Rams

Atlanta (8-7) at Tampa Bay (3-12)

Atlanta finally gets two winning seasons in a row, the first time in the team’s history.

Falcons over Buccaneers

Pittsburgh (8-7) at Miami (7-8)

Yes, all is on the line. I know my boys can come through. For once.

Steelers over Dolphins

Chicago (6-9) at Detroit (2-13)

Oooh, Cutler has two good games in a row, and Bear fans will lose their mind about what that means for 2010. Forgetting the 10 other holes in the offense and defense. Regardless, 2009 ends well.

Bears over Lions

New Orleans (13-2) at Carolina (7-8)

Carolina will be without Steve Smith. And I just cannot imagine that Sean Payton will allow New Orleans to go into the post season on a 3 game losing streak.

Saints over Panthers

Jacksonville (7-8) at Cleveland (4-11)

I trust Jacksonville in the cold a tiny bit less than Cleveland. Either is crappy if you ask me.

Browns over Jaguars

Philadelphia (11-4) at Dallas (10-5)

We saw what the Eagles did to Dallas last year when all Dallas had to do was win and they were in, right? Well this year, Philadelphia has a shot at a bye week. I wonder who might win…

Eagles over Cowboys

Tennessee (7-8) at Seattle (5-10)

Seattle’s horrid season comes to a terrible close.

Titans over Seahawks

Washington (4-11) at San Diego (12-3)

Jim Zorn’s public embarrassment comes to a whimpering end. And Norv Turner looks like a bigger genius. Frightening.

Chargers over Redskins

Green Bay (10-5) at Arizona (10-5)

Arizona has screwed me so many times this season I’m not going with them today. This means they’ll just screw me again. Oh well, let’s call it one last time for the road.

Packers over Cardinals

Kansas City (3-12) at Denver (8-7)

Brandon Marshall has been benched for the game due to a bad hamstring. Wow, that’s a pretty pathetic excuse. If you’re a star player, and your team is playing it’s most important game of the season, and you’re bitching so much about your leg hurting they bench you? Hey Brandon, in last year’s Super Bowl Hines Ward’s leg was practically falling off and he played. I guess it is all about you. Good luck with a new contract somewhere else next year.

Broncos over Chiefs

Baltimore (8-7) at Oakland (5-10)

Yeah, I’d like to see Oakland win, but I’d also like to see a money tree sprout in my back yard. Some things probably won’t happen, especially when Charlie Frye could be prominently involved.

Ravens over Raiders

Cincinnati (10-5) at New York Jets (8-7)

I know, by the time we get to this game Cincinnati could have nothing to play for and lay down against the Jets, rolling out the red carpet for New York to waltz into the playoffs. But Cincinnati is a better team, Sanchez is terrible in big games, and dang it I have to hope. Plus, that would be terrible karma if Cincinnati did that, and they need all they can get with the playoffs looming.

Bungles over Jets

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 16

2009-12-26T21:01:00.000-08:00

Football can be so beautiful in the freshly fallen snow. Well, except when it’s 2 feet of snow, and it gives ding dongs in New York and Philadelphia something to throw onto the field other than beer bottles and hot dogs.

Opening Kickoff

What is this euphoric feeling that has overcome me this week? I don’t know; it seems so foreign. I think I recall feeling this way before. Why, it must be what it feels like to win a game. It has been so long, I had almost forgotten.

The Way It Was

Did I see that right? The Raiders started Charlie Frye at quarterback? Wow. How much do they hate JaMarcus Russell?

Wait, the Panthers sacked Brett Favre? Is that even allowed in the NFL?

Browns running back Jerome Harrison rushed for 286 yards, while all purpose magician Josh Cribbs returned two kickoffs for touchdowns. You wonder if Browns fans just beat their heads against the wall muttering, where have they been all season…

With his 2 returns, Cribbs now holds the all time NFL record for kick returns. I’d say something smart alecky, but he almost had 2 returns against Pittsburgh, so I should just shut my yapper.

Fear not Saints fans. Yes, the miraculous idea of a perfect season is gone. But hey, keep the focus in front. Wouldn’t a Lombardi Trophy look snazzy in the Mardi Gras parade? You bet it would!

Oh look, the Colts won again. Wouldn’t it be nice to see them win it all just to stick it to the Pats?

Detroit placed Matt Stafford on injured reserve, and the rookie quarterback will have surgery on his injured knee. For the hard luck fans of the Lions, I hope this is not a harbinger of doom and merely a bump in the road of a quarterback’s development.

Wow, how far, fast and completely Seattle has fallen into an NFL also ran. How do you lose at home to Tampa Bay, who also fell just as swiftly?

Really Arizona, you had to go into overtime to beat the Lions? Yeesh, even Pittsburgh was able to dispatch Detroit in regulation.

Ok, Jets collapse at the end of the game against Atlanta and Houston has to barely eke one out against the Rams. Terrible right? So how again are they ahead of Pittsburgh in the wild card race? Oh yeah, Chiefs, Raiders and Browns, that’s how.

Unbelievably, Denver lost at home to the Raiders. Somewhere Mike Shanahan is fuming.

Oh, what a shocker, Jay Cutler had yet another crappy game. I’m stunned.

A gift basket recently showed up at Viking headquarters. The card attached said, “Dear Brett and Brad, thanks for the job extension. Love ya bunches. John Fox.”

The Steel Pit

Yes it was messy. Yes the defense surrendered yet another lead. And yes it means nothing in the overall picture of the playoffs. But damn it felt good to win again.

What a fabulous, exciting, thrilling, heart stopping, bowel moving victory by the boys in Black and Gold! Not only am I still buzzing from the first Steeler win in weeks, but also because of the exciting finish to a wild back and forth affair.

There was plenty of good to go around thanks to a very potent offense. Rashard Mendenhall had an excellent game rushing and receiving and is now a hair away from becoming the seventh Steeler to log a 1000 yard rushing season.

Mike Wallace served notice that he is no longer a rookie and will be a very potent threat in the future.

And Ben Roethlisberger threw for 503 yards, becoming only the third quarterback in league history to throw for over 500 yards and 3 touchdowns with no interceptions. His 503 yards also set the Steelers single game yardage record.

But this year, it seems there can be no amount of good with an equal amount of bad. William Gay fell down in coverage, again. Ryan Clark was smoked for a touchdown in the 4^th quarter, when it mattered most of course. The secondary looked in general nothing short of horrendous. And in the 4^th quarter the defense gave up an atrocious 22 points.

Look, not fooling myself. I know the odds are long for Pittsburgh to make the playoffs. And even if they should, the same problems that need addressed in the offseason will still remain. But watching the offense drive the field in the last two minutes to conclude with Mike Wallace catching the winning touchdown as time expired may be the moment of the season. If only because it harkens memories of Super Bowl 43 and gives hope for the future. And right now, in a season of disappointment, I’ll grab any hope I can get.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Pepsi has decided to pull it’s advertising from the Super Bowl, ending a 23 year run, to focus its marketing on more online efforts. Well, that and someone at Pepsi finally realized it’s super expensive.

Apparently, Ochocinco and Shawn “Roids Out” Merriman wanted to fight. Since Twitter is involved, I question whether they really don’t like each other enough to exchange blows, or if they’re just being twits.

In honor of Chris Henry, Ochocinco wanted to wear his jersey during the game against the Chargers. But too many people tried to make it into a negative and accused Chad of making Henry’s death all about him. Normally, with professional athlete’s I would agree. But I think in this case, Chad was being sincere. And he should have been allowed to proceed with his tribute.

In other Bengal news, the team attended the funeral for Chris Henry. I wonder how many of the attendees felt about his fiancée speaking during the services considering how Henry died. I’m not being disrespectful, just curious.

I’m getting real sick of the halftime opinion pieces put forth by NBC’s Bob Costas. Can someone tell him this is Sunday Night Football, not Olympic coverage?

The Panthers placed Jake Delhomme on injured reserve due to a broken finger on his throwing hand. Should have placed him there long before due to a broken head.

The Cleveland Browns hired Mike Holmgren as their new team President and football czar. I hope they got more than three magic beans for him. And I hope Eric Mangini has his resume updated.

The Pittsburgh Steelers announced another new investor in their ownership group. Boy, that owner’s box is getting awfully full.

Speaking of the Steelers, thanks to Paul Lukas of ESPN’s Page 2 Uni Watch for this great article about the history of the Steelers uniforms and some of the quirks found in their iconic duds. The section on Polamalu is fascinating in itself, and knowing what I know of the man, unsurprising.

Upon Further Review

Playoffs?!? Let’s talk about playoffs!

As we head into the weekend, the Broncos, Ravens, Jets, Jaguars, Texans, Steelers and Dolphins are all fighting for the two wildcard playoff spots. Yes, some teams have a better chance at nabbing those spots than others, and some teams need an extraordinary amount of help for their playoff dreams to come true. But all teams have a mathematical chance of grabbing one of those coveted post season positions.

Now, while this may cause the players themselves, their front offices, coaching staffs, stadium personnel and fan bases much nervousness, worry and consternation as to what may happen, the league itself absolutely loves this situation.

The NFL loves having 7 teams fighting for 2 playoff spots. It allows the league to continue maintaining their idea of parity amongst the teams in the NFL. It adds to the overall popularity and financial success of the league to be able to tell fans that yes, in any given year your favorite team does have a chance to win it all. There never is haves and have nots, everyone has a shot.

Such a scenario keeps 5 fan bases engaged and buying product in some form or another much deeper into the season. Typically, when a fan base watches their team eliminated from potential post season action, said fan base becomes disinterested and peels away from focusing on the game for other pursuits, say spending time with family or reading.

Now, the NFL already knows that after week one, Rams, Lions and Raider fans on parole will lose interest. But if they can keep the other 29 franchise fan bases engaged, then that keeps product moving, concession sales high, turnstiles spinning and ratings climbing. The longer the NFL can keep each fan base riveted to rooting their team and thinking they may hit the post season, the better.

Being able to point to a season like this one, with 7 teams just in one conference so late in the season engaged in a playoff battle helps strengthen the league’s argument that a fan’s favorite team always has a chance. It’s a better advertisement for the NFL as a whole than plugging the Colts quietly going for perfection.

Just on a side note, I know the Colts are a long way away from obtaining perfection. I think we’ve seen ample evidence through the years that this goal is extremely difficult and all but one who have come close have failed. So I understand why the Colts quest may be underplayed. But doesn’t it seem the overall hoopla of the Colts chasing an undefeated season is far lower than it was two years ago with the Patriots? In 2007 you could not get away from Patriot this and Patriot that. And let’s be honest, that constant, non stop adulation sure made their loss in Super Bowl 42 all the more satisfying. Perhaps that’s a reason why we hear not nearly the buzz. No one wants to celebrate if the Colts should fail.

Regardless, I say to all those fan bases, sit back and revel in your team’s potential chance at playoff glory. Don’t get frustrated, worked up, worried, nervous or crazy. Enjoy the ride. I know the registers and executives at the league offices in New York certainly are.

He Said He Said

“It’s hard to believe the cornerbacks for the Steelers don’t have an interception all season.” – Fox’s Joe Buck during the Steelers/Packers collision.

Uhhh, Joe, no it’s not.

"So I said, 'I'm staying in the game, I'm playing.' I don't know if [Childress' effort] was exactly to protect me, or we had seven points, I'm not sure. That's his call. But we talked it out. We didn't have time, I didn't have time to sit there and say why or what. My response was, we've got to win this ballgame and I want to stay in and do whatever I can.'' – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre

Translation: Do you know who I am? I’m freaking Brett Favre and there’s no way I’m leaving this game no matter how crappy I play!

"Tony said we had no chance. No chance? None? He was a coach. He should know you always have a chance.'' - Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo saying how Tony Dungy’s comments inspired the Cowboys in their defeat of the Saints.

Well, Tony Dungy can be an inspirational gentleman.

"We had 30 minutes of evidence that we could drive the ball on them, we also conversely had 30 minutes of evidence to show they could also drive the ball on us. That's why we took the risk when we did.” – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin on his decision to kick an onside kick late in the 4^th quarter

Yeah, and the evidence against the Steeler defense was quite damning.

“How the mighty defense has fallen. Wow. Mike Tomlin throwing his D to the wolves.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Hey, Peter, the truth hurts. Just ask Steeler Nation, we’ve been watching it all season.

''We don't need to throw snowballs. We're a classy crew here in Philadelphia.” – Eagles head coach Andy Reid

Yeah right.

"It's probably hard for people to wrap their heads and their fingers around, but this offense is changing, This team is changing on offense. It's not a run-it-first team anymore. And that's not a bad thing, it really isn't. We've got two 1,000-yard receivers. We'll have a 1,000-yard rusher. It's a pretty fun thing." – Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger

Oh Ben, unlike a good many Yinzers, I have no issue with a pass first team. My umbrage lies with a defense that cannot keep up.

Idiot of the week

This week, we have dual award winners, the Vikings Brett Favre and Brad Childress. Due to their antics on the sidelines and in the locker room after the team’s meltdown at Carolina, the Vikings are now in a rather precarious position of cooling down before the playoffs even get here.

The Vikings have an excellent defense and a great running game. They just needed good, consistent quarterback play to push them over the hump. Childress and Favre made a deal with the devil to join forces with each other, and now, the first payment is coming due. And no one is happy with the price tag.

Favre figured at first that yeah, he’ll play the good team guy, throwing for say 200 yards a game just to keep defenses honest from stacking the box against Adrian Peterson. But somewhere along the way, his ego got the best of him. I know, you’re shocked, as am I. Favre knew the weak spot of this team was quarterback, and that’s why he was brought in. But now he wants to be the savior. He wants to be the one people point to when they talk about this Vikings team. He wants to hear, “The Vikings would never have won it all without Brett Favre.” He needs that.

Favre wants the glory, the adulation and the accolades. Favre feels he’s the man. He’s above criticism, questioning and, unfortunately for Childress, coaching and discipline. And when you get a player like that, you get back talk and a refusal to sit out for the betterment of the team. And that leads to explosive arguments and an open questioning of the coach in front of the team.

And now we hear he’s changing play calls at the line. He’s eschewing his best weapon, Peterson, to put the ball in his own hands. He does what he feels will give the Vikings the best chance to win, and his actions show that feeling is Brett Favre back to pass. Plus, you get the distinct impression Favre has no confidence or respect for Childress as a coach or play caller. Well, Brett’s a pretty big idiot, because what did he expect there? Head coaches in general like to think of themselves as kings lording over their charges. Mini geniuses who every call, word and action should be studied as brilliance personified and never, ever questioned. If Favre thought Childress would operate outside of this norm and kowtow to Brett, then he is dumber than previously thought.

Now, let’s not fool ourselves, star players get special treatment. Is it fair in a sport where team is heralded above all else? No. But it is reality. So a star player will always react poorly to being treated like any other player. So when Childress foolishly tries to just that, you get Brett getting all up in Brad’s Kool-aid.

You think after seeing that display the other players will feel they need to listen to Childress? Oh heck no, they’ll follow the “great” Brett Favre. And thus far, that is exactly what they are doing, rallying around Favre instead of their coach. They are willingly following this egomaniac to what will be their early playoff exit.

As for Childress, what did he expect would happen? He voluntarily emasculated himself to “convince” Favre the Vikings needed him. Something Favre had established two years ago. Now, when this headstrong jagoff starts changing plays and freelancing, something he’s been known to do for, oh, his entire career, Childress gets upset? Did you really think Favre would stick solely to the script you wrote Brad? Did you not think he’d change plays as he saw fit? Brett has played a ton of games, and has established in his own mind that his abilities and experience can find the best solution for any situation. And his track record has shown that he will follow those instincts above all else.

On top of that, Childress should have known that Brett does what’s best for Brett. That was obvious when he orchestrated his messy divorce from Green Bay, a team and fan base that made him a super duper star. Did he really think he could control this man and fit him into a mold he needed for his team to win? That’s just foolish. Plus, Childress should have known what he’d get with Favre late in the season. This article by Sal Paolantonio clearly shows Favre’s fading late season skills, and the article was written before Brett ever donned Jets green. And we all know how that season ended for New York. If Childress honestly thought Brett would fall into line and be a good little soldier, do what he was told and be a late season hero, he’s dumber than previously thought.

So, because these two massive morons made a deal with each other to win it all, yet fully expected the other to change and bend to their own wills, and now are creating a rift that could tear the Vikings apart before one playoff snap is taken, Brett and Brad you are both idiots.

On Tap This Week

No, I did not do quite as well as the previous week, but hey, still not bad.

Last week: 10-6

Season to date: 155-68

As the season winds to a close and the top of my pool becomes tighter and more fevered in pitch, I feel like Robert DeNiro near the end of Midnight Run. I’ve come too far, I’m too close…

Sunday

Tampa Bay (2-12) at New Orleans (13-1)

Yes, New Orleans finally stumbled. But there’s no way I’m breaking an ankle jumping off this bandwagon. My seats are too sweet.

Saints over Buccaneers

Jacksonville (7-7) at New England (9-5)

Jacksonville is fighting, if you can call it that, for their playoff lives. New England is fighting for their division. Hmmm, I wonder whom I should back…

Patriots over Jaguars

Houston (7-7) at Miami (7-7)

This week, go fins! Next week, suck on it you oxygen breathing fish.

Dolphins over Texans

Seattle (5-9) at Green Bay (9-5)

Ok, now back to being a fan of the Pack.

Packers over Seahawks

Carolina (6-8) at New York Giants (8-6)

Wow, what a game Carolina put together against the Vikings. Now, they’ll predictably crap the bed the next week. I suppose there’s a chance they may not, since there’s no way Jake Delhomme will be a part of the festivities. But I’m not banking on it.

Giants over Panthers

Oakland (5-9) at Cleveland (3-11)

Ugh. Well, if they can put that kind of offensive effort together again, I suppose I may have to say the Browns. But I don’t feel good about it, for a multitude of reasons.

Browns over Raiders

Baltimore (8-6) at Pittsburgh (7-7)

It’s time for some payback, no matter how the wildcard chips land. Never give up, never surrender!

Steelers over Ravens

Kansas City (3-11) at Cincinnati (9-5)

Back at home, the Bungles will have the cathartic game they need to honor Chris Henry.

Bengals over Chiefs

Buffalo (5-9) at Atlanta (7-7)

Yeesh, what do you do with two teams playing for nothing? Well, Atlanta is looking to finally have two winning seasons in a row for the first time since, ever.

Falcons over Bills

St. Louis (1-13) at Arizona (9-5)

Ok, Arizona, I swear if you screw me again this week. I’m driving to Glendale and soaping your windows.

Cardinals over Rams

Detroit (2-12) at San Francisco (6-8)

Poor Detroit has so little going for it right now how can you possibly pick them? Well, I suppose you could if you’re a Detroit fan and a masochist.

49ers over Lions

Denver (8-6) at Philadelphia (10-4)

Denver is showing that no matter the coach, December is a bad month. And with Philadelphia still having a shot at a first round bye, sounds like a recipe for an Andy Reid celebratory buffet!

Eagles over Broncos

New York Jets (7-7) at Indianapolis (14-0)

I hate the Jets. Of course, by saying that, it could qualify me to be a Jets fan. Shudder at the thought. Indianapolis has nothing more to play for, except I think Peyton may finally want to stick it to Belichick. He’d never say it out loud, but you can see he has a new look in his eyes.

Colts over Jets

Dallas (9-5) at Washington (4-10)

Wow, Dallas won a big game in December! I’m as stunned as the Saints fans. Of course, this week when I give them a chance they’ll crap the bed. But hey, I’ll take a chance. Romo did fairly well for me in fantasy this year.

Cowboys over Redskins

Monday

Minnesota (11-3) at Chicago (5-9)

Luckily for Childress and Favre, the Vikings defense and Adrian Peterson by himself could handle this situation. Or more luckily, Jay Cutler will take care of beating Chicago for them.

Vikings over Bears

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 16 Thursday Night Special

2009-12-25T11:00:00.000-08:00

Welcome to a special Friday Christmas edition of The Crystal Ball Thursday night special! If the NFL Network can use such dumb and confusing nomenclatures for their various broadcasts, so can I.

Is everyone having a good Christmas? Did you get all you wanted, or did Santa find out you were naughty instead of nice?

Since Christmas is the time for hope and joy, there are more than a few fans out there wishing for their hopes of wins to provide the joy of a trip to the playoffs. I hate to be a scrooge, but bah humbug. There will be more than a few disappointed fan bases after Sunday. I won’t be one of them, I’m anticipating failure.

Regardless, I hope every fan savors this moment right here. The moment when hope still abounds, when chance and luck may collide and become opportunity realized. When all the stars align, all becomes right with their world and the dreams of a championship still burn brightly. Most of those dreams will never come to pass this season, but that moment of hopeful anticipation is a wonderful thing.

And hey, it is Christmas after all, you never know what may happen right?

On Tap Tonight

San Diego (11-3) at Tennessee (7-7)

Ok, so what do I do here? Tennessee has been on a decided tear since being humiliated in New England. With the exception of a loss to Indianapolis, which was close, the team has torn it up and Chris Johnson has been a demon on the field. On the other hand, San Diego is riding a wicked winning streak, playing dominant football and over the past several years, unstoppable in December.

I love Tennessee’s moxie, Vince Young’s resurgence and Johnson’s otherworldly ability. And I hate, HATE, the idea of backing Norv Turner on the road. But San Diego can still nab a bye week for the playoffs so they’ve got a goal in mind. Tennessee, well their playoff hopes while still flickering are dimmer than Pittsburgh’s. And we all know how faint those are. So what’s their motivation other than 9-7? Ugh, I may regret this, and probably will since I’ve already vacillated several times, but…

Chargers over Titans

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 15

2009-12-19T19:39:00.000-08:00

Christmas is but a few scant days away, I have none of my shopping done, the driveway is full of freshly fallen snow that needs shoveled, the busy holidays are ramping up and I need to prepare for my annual cornucopia of joy that is 24 hours of A Christmas Story. But hey, there’s always time for football, no?

Opening Kickoff

Hey I was right! I said Randy Moss would be a potential distraction and cancer to the Patriots and it was a foolish move by Belichick to bring on such a malcontent. I just happened to be a few years off as to when this would come to pass. I’m ahead of my time.

The Way It Was

Broncos’ receiver Brandon Marshall broke the single game reception record by catching 21 passes against the Colts. Unfortunately the Broncos lost. But lost in this story? How about that passing by Kyle Orton!

The Ravens beat up on the poor little Lions. Boy they are just big mean bullies.

DeMarcus Ware sprained his neck in a scary moment during last weeks Cowboys game. Thankfully, Ware will be ok

Oh look, Dallas is collapsing, Christmas must be coming! Every time a bell rings the Cowboys lose a game. Ding, dong, ding, dong….

The Patriots look like a shell of themselves lately. And if they are not careful, the hard charging Dolphins will overtake them in the AFC East. I’m just glad Steeler fans are not the only ones suffering this season.

What? Randy Moss was not playing hard? Moss quit on the team? I’m stunned.

Awww Ochocinco hugged the Viking. He’s so sweet.

The Colts set a regular season record for consecutive regular season victories with 22, while establishing the most wins of the decade, 115 and counting, and clinching home field advantage throughout the playoffs. Not bad for a team with young receivers, a young defense and a new head coach.

Boy the Eagles got a steal when they drafted DeShawn Jackson.

I’ve said it before and will say it again. Andy Reid sure can drag out the end of a half. I swear he turns 2 minutes into 30 in a blink of an eye.

Oh come on Arizona, give me a break. You cream the Vikings, but then turn the ball over against the 49ers like it was filled with H1N1? Really?

Titans linebacker Keith Bulluck had 10 tackles, two interceptions and a pass broken up against the Rams and has been lauded this week.

Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco had a 65 percent passing day and throwing for 548 yards against the Lions and has been lauded this week.

Yes, these were great performances, and many have said the ills that suffered these two teams have now been eliminated. But let me just point out one thing. These big games came against the Rams and Lions respectively. So, is everything fixed, or did two teams just beat up thoroughly on two NFL doormats? You decide.

The Steel Pit

After losing their 5^th game in a row a week ago Thursday, things have been relatively quiet. Not only has the team not been very talkative, but most of the national press has pretty much ignored them as well. No news is good news right?

Oh, most everyone has healed as well as they are going do with 10 days off, and the team will have most of its full complement of players ready for Sunday. There will be a few personnel changes for the game, some most likely way overdue. But hey things are quiet, so there may be some peace for a change.

Oh wait, what’s that? Yup, I thought so. It’s a bomb.

I wonder if Tomlin will be able to keep this team from a total meltdown now. Sorry Mike, but the honeymoon’s over.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

The Cowboys tried a little 3-D experiment on the big screens at Cowboys Stadium. I guess the actual 3-D game wasn’t enough for Jerry.

Uh oh, the Yinzers are getting restless.

Drew Brees was elected to ride on a 2010 Mardi Gras float and chosen as King of Bacchus. Wouldn’t it be great if he were also carrying the Lombardi Trophy during the parade?

Robert Sormanti, the Patriots' mascot, was arrested in a prostitution sting in Rhode Island. I bet he could party with Steely McBeam.

Colts head Coach Jim Caldwell never moves, never gets excited, rarely makes a facial expression, doesn’t rant at players or referees and I’m not sure if he’s even breathing. I’m wondering if he’s just a robot created in the off season by Peyton Manning, who then programs the Caldwell-Tron 2010 to call the plays he wants to run. Show me proof this is not so. Because now the Caldwell-Tron 2010 has been programmed for Peyton to go for 19-0, and with Peyton at the helm I think they’ve got a shot.

The Giants and Jets will submit a proposal to the NFL to host the 2014 Super Bowl in their new stadium. Yeah, that’s where people want to go in February, New Jersey.

The Redskins general manager Vinny Cerrato resigned this week, and was immediately replaced by Bruce Allen. Jim Zorn, get that resume ready.

Upon Further Review

This week, Bengals receiver Chris Henry died from injuries suffered in a strange car accident. Henry had been away from the team as he recovered from a broken arm suffered in a game earlier this season. The NFL will hold a moment of silence for Henry before each game this weekend.

I think most people who follow the NFL are aware of the checkered past Henry has had. I shall not use the occasion of this young man’s death to revisit them. Neither will I ignore his transgressions of the past. Henry was not a saint and for the majority of his adult life, facts that are well recognized. And if not for a benevolent, and desperate for a receiver, Bengals organization he would not even have been in the league this season.

Despite his past, Henry did seem sincere in both words and actions to turn his life around with this latest second chance. And it is because of this I feel for his family, friends and loved ones and send my heartfelt condolences.

Some people take longer to learn the lessons of life. And often they must learn those lessons the hard way. Henry seemed to me to be one of these people. But it appeared that finally, some of life’s lessons had sunk in and the realization of what it took to be a man and take his special gifts seriously had dawned upon him.

The sad part is when he finally turns this corner, his life was extinguished. Never will he get the chance to live the new life he had started to build. Never will those who loved and cared for him finally get to see the man they knew he could be. And never will those who believed in him see that promise pay off.

You always hope to see those misguided souls that contain great talent to finally reach their potential and become all we hope they can be. And with their success, spread to the rest of us the hope and give us an example that we too can overcome the odds against us in our own lives to achieve more. And when that promising light is snuffed too soon, no matter from whom it shown, it dims all of our worlds and pushes hope for ourselves further out of reach.

No, we shouldn’t look to others as a guide to how to live our own lives. The onus of that remains firmly on each person and each person only. But knowing that others as flawed as us can overcome problems similar to our own has always been inspirational and motivating. And when one who starts to walk the path of personal redemption is taken from us, it also takes away that motivation and inspiration from those who could really benefit from it. And that only adds to the overall tragedy, of which we need no more.

He Said He Said

“This is gonna be the best game of my life. I can feel it.'' - Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall before the Colts game where he set the single game record for receptions with 21.

How did he know that? I wonder if he can do that with lottery numbers…

"I'm not worried. His useless banter really doesn't amount to much at all.'' - Cincinnati head coach Marvin Lewis on the antics of Chad Ochocinco

Why worry? Just sit back and enjoy the stylings of Ochocinco.

"I would turn in all three Super Bowl rings and my Hall of Fame bust for one undefeated season.'' - Former Cowboy Michael Irvin

Gee, with statements like that, I cannot imagine why no one takes Irvin seriously as an analyst.

"I don't see the big deal about it. The president cheated on his wife. We're all human. Human beings are the only ones that have just one partner. You watch National Geographic and the lions, they have like five or six partners. The human race is the only being that is monogamous with partners.'' - Seattle wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh commenting on the Tiger Woods situation

T.J. you’re as wrong about this as you were about leaving Cincinnati. Penguins mate for life.

“Best records in football since the start of 2007: Colts 38-7, Patriots 35-10” – SI.com’s Peter King

And the total Super Bowl wins combined during that time? Zero.

"Wouldn't it be smart if he took $30,000 and, oh, I don't know, bought winter coats for 1,000 kids in Cincinnati? Can't he find a better use for that money than continue to hand it to the league?'' – CBS’s Randy Cross on the fines levied against Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco

Yes Randy that would be a good idea. You know what he does do? Well Chad does things like when he was here in Pittsburgh, he offered on Twitter that if someone would come to his hotel and drive him around he’d treat them to a shopping spree. Which he did happily. He also likes to act wacky and goofy and bring a bit of fun to a league a bit too stuffy and image conscious. You know what he doesn’t do? Crimes, drugs, drink or commit violent acts against people. And the NFL puts the money from player fines into various disease research centers, charitable initiatives and player assistance funds. So get a sense of humor Cross you douche bag.

“I can't get over Randy Moss. If you didn't see the game, find someone who TiVOed it. Disgraceful.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Disgraceful? Come on Peter, you couldn’t catch a cold let alone a football so withhold judgment of someone who actually can catch. And jeez, you’ve seen this man’s body of work, are you really that surprised he’d suddenly make it all about Randy? King’s just mad because he put Moss on his all decade team and a performance like that makes King look dumb.

"The Steelers are done." – Former Steeler Jerome Bettis on Dan Patrick’s radio show

"Jerome who?" – Steelers’ quarterback Ben Roethlisberger’s initial reaction when asked about Bettis’ comments.

Idiot of the week

This is getting really repetitive, and annoying, but once again a Steeler must be awarded this dubious honor.

Our winner this week is safety Ryan Clark, for his bizarre meltdown during a press conference this week. Now, with the team freefalling into the abyss, the players in an angry funk, and the coaches and management unable or unwilling to take command and turn this thing around I do not begrudge Clark for unraveling. Heck, if someone didn’t show how much the situation was getting to them, I’d wonder if any of them were human.

So why is Ryan here? Well, because he lashed out at the media, who has loved him since he became a Steeler. He railed on their coverage of the team and how it’s been unfair and they do not understand how hard the team is working. He even said they are held to a higher standard and how other markets are not as critical of their teams.

Ryan, that’s just dumb. Most other markets are more critical or they just don’t care. And we know you’re working hard, but there are no results to show for it. You want the press to write something good? Win a game.

Then he lashed out at the fans, which is just a dumb mistake. Steeler Nation is one of the most fiercely loyal fan bases of any team in any sport. And despite the team collapsing like a flan, they’ve still been behind the team. To question them may be one of the most idiotic things a player can do.

The dumbest part of all this is easily that Clark lashed out at everyone outside the organization whilst his play has been a major contributor to the defense’s 4^th quarter collapse and while he’s in a contract year and looking for a new deal with the team. Ryan, do you really think they can sign you again now after dumping on the fans?

So Ryan Clark, while I like you as a person and a player, you’ve given me no choice. You are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

Ok, so we had a few set backs recently, but last week, a rousing performance has narrowed the gap between 1^st and 4^th place and the pressure just increased tenfold.

Last week: 13-3

Season to date: 145 - 62

I cannot say it enough, I want that Wii Fit. Let’s see who blinks first. The final push begins…

Saturday

Dallas (8-5) at New Orleans (13-0)

This game on the NFL Network is a special Saturday edition of Thursday Night Football. Why they couldn’t just call it Saturday Night Football, you’ve got me. Regardless, it matters not what nomenclature they use, it still means the same thing at the end of the game.

Saints over Cowboys

Sunday

New England (8-5) at Buffalo (5-8)

Hmmm, Belichick seems to have a few problems on his hands. Somehow, I do not think Buffalo qualifies as one of them.

Patriots over Bills

Miami (7-6) at Tennessee (5-7)

Miami is coming on strong and fighting not just for a playoff spot, but the division as well. But they have yet to see Chris Johnson in person.

Titans over Dolphins

Houston (6-7) at St. Louis (1-12)

Oh look, Houston wins a meaningless game when all pressure of a playoff opportunity has been removed.

Texans over Rams

Arizona (8-5) at Detroit (2-11)

Ok, if Arizona screws me this week, I’m totally putting coal in their stockings.

Cardinals over Lions

Atlanta (6-7) at New York Jets (7-6)

Yes, Chris Redman has played well in relief of Matt Ryan. But hey, the Jets have a shot at the division. So who has more at stake?

Jets over Falcons

Cleveland (2-11) at Kansas City (3-10)

Ewww.

Chiefs over Browns

Oakland (4-9) at Denver (8-5)

I still miss how Shanahan made it his personal mission to stick it to Al Davis. At least somewhere he will watch proudly as the Neck Beard continues the tradition.

Broncos over Raiders

Cincinnati (9-4) at San Diego (10-3)

I don’t know where the Bungles passing game went, but they’re not going far without something to distract from the run.

Chargers over Bungles

Chicago (5-8) at Baltimore (7-6)

What’s the over/under on interceptions made by Ed Reed on Jay Cutler? 10? 11?

Ravens over Bears

San Francisco (6-7) at Philadelphia (9-4)

I was impressed by Philadelphia by showing resolve after losing the lead last week against the Giants. Perhaps they may finally have found a pair.

Eagles over 49ers

Tampa Bay (1-12) at Seattle (5-8)

Well, it is a home game. I suppose that means Seattle will dominate by double digits.

Seahawks over Buccaneers

Green Bay (9-4) at Pittsburgh (6-7)

Do I honestly believe Pittsburgh has a team capable of beating Green Bay? Yes. Do I believe Pittsburgh will defeat them? I have my doubts. But hey, it’s Christmas, a time of miracles. So be of good cheer and pure of heart Steeler Nation. Sometimes Christmas comes early if you only believe.

Steelers over Packers

Minnesota (11-2) at Carolina (5-8)

I don’t care anymore what Carolina team shows up. I’m going with the Minnesota team that has that one quarterback, you know, the one who does Wrangler commercials? I’ve heard he’s pretty good.

Vikings over Panthers

Monday

New York Giants (7-6) at Washington (4-9)

Oh I have no idea. I suppose it’s time for New York to win something.

Giants over Redskins

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 15 Thursday Night Special

2009-12-17T17:34:00.001-08:00

Welcome to week 15 of the NFL season, where we converge on exciting Jacksonville! Yes, I said it. Come on Jacksonville is exciting. They have Tim Tebow and……Tim Tebow.

For tonight’s game, the City of Jacksonville and a group called “Touchdown Jacksonville-Revive the Pride” will be hosting a Tealgate party. The aim is to get the local fans involved, engaged and excited about the Jaguars and having an NFL team in their fair city.

Something tells me this is like fighting a fire with a slow running spigot and a sippy cup. Tonight will mark the first time this season the Jaguars will NOT be blacked out in their local market. That’s right. Even though the NFL gave the team permission to cover a large portion of their seating to create the illusion of selling out the stadium, they still cannot. Even though the team is decent and better than say half of the remainder of the NFL, the locals really do not care. Oh, I’m sure there’s a feverish group dedicated to the team. But the majority would rather watch the Gators.

If the Jaguars leave town, would anyone care? Ask me in two years when we’re rooting for the Los Angeles or London Jaguars.

On Tap Tonight

Indianapolis (13-0) at Jacksonville (7-6)

I know, the word on the street is the upset is looming. Jacksonville, fighting for their playoff lives, will be set to topple Peyton and company. The Colts will rest their dinged up starters and risk losing for the first time this season to get healthy for the playoffs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say meh to it. If Jacksonville had all that much fight in them, then tell me why they crapped the bed, at home, last week to Miami? Oh, they had the opportunity, but not the execution. What makes you think they will on a short week against one of the best teams in the NFL? Yes, you can sit around and tell me stats about how the Colts have just squeaked by in some of their wins, and how well Jacksonville did in their last match up. But you know what? I’m not buying it. Yeah, there’s a good chance the Jags could come out and do a number on Indianapolis’ back ups. But I’d rather back Peyton for 2 quarters or less than David Garrard for an entire game.

Colts over Jaguars

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 14

2009-12-12T20:12:00.000-08:00

It happens once a season. I put my picks in, don’t pay attention then have to root for a crappy team to pull off the upset. This year, I accidentally picked Tampa Bay over Carolina. Oops. Such a mistake would not have been so bad if not for the fact that I was risking a pick with the Titans already. Double oops.

Opening Kickoff

More than ever, I maintain the Black and Gold are going to the Super Bowl and I’ll be right behind them. With the Steelers season effectively over, New Orleans is now the official temporary team of the Crystal Ball, and we’ll root them all the way to Miami. Go Saints!

I know that sounds like fan sacrilege, but trust me, it’s cool. We’ll revisit this come playoff time.

The Way It Was

In Atlanta, Michael Vick ran and threw for a touchdown against the Falcons. Not only that, the Falcon fans cheered him. Amazing how time can heal all wounds.

Ha ha, Patriots lost again. Yes, it’s a minor consolation in yet another disappointing week from the current NFL champions, but I’ll take a Patriot embarrassment too.

Are the Redskins playing to keep Zorn’s job? It looks like it, except yet again they came up short.

Amazing, the Saints looked like it would be over, yet they pulled it out. That’s how a champion plays.

Really Mike Singletary? That’s how you roll? You put the boots to a decent AFC team but cannot finish off a horrid NFC division opponent? Come on!

Thank you Cowboys, for allowing me to watch two horrid defensive performances in a row.

Has there been a better heads up play than Robert Meacham stripping the ball after an interception and then running it back for a touchdown? Not for my money there hasn’t.

Wait; is there a brewing quarterback controversy in Kansas City? Is the great Matt Cassel not working out? Really? Who would have thought paying a career back up big money without seeing proof he can lead a team in more than relief duty would be a bad idea! Hmmmm, maybe the Buffalo Bills?

I’m thinking that perhaps there is some truth to the theory that Scott Pioli really didn’t do all that much in New England. Isn’t it funny how everyone who leaves there fails miserably? You best watch out Josh McDaniels.

Ok, so Tim Ruskell leaves as general manager of the Seahawks. The team is a mess, obviously, and it will take some real work to put it back together as a Super Bowl contender. But I question why Seattleites are going gaga over the possibility of Mike Holmgren taking the job. Isn’t he one of the reasons the team is in the condition it is now? I know he hasn’t been the GM in quite some time, but I’m sure he has some significant input in turning this team into poo on a shingle.

Josh Freeman you made me look dumber than usual. Really, 5 interceptions in your game, two of them coming in the red zone? Josh, I need no help looking foolish, thank you very much.

Wow, Rex Grossman made it into a game. Now Texan fans know Chicago’s pain. He was so bad Matt Schaub miraculously recovered from his injury.

The Steel Pit

Somehow it seems fitting that the season ended with a whimper on a terribly cold night in Cleveland. I’m not sure why, but it just seemed fitting.

You know what’s been amazing about Pittsburgh’s collapse? Each week they lose, and I think, wow this is awful. There’s no way it can get any worse. They’ll beat next week’s patsy I’m sure. And then next week comes, we crumble against said patsy and somehow it gets worse. Actually at this point, I’m fascinated and amazed by this phenomenon.

Oh, I still have to fight off the urge to vomit. After all I did just watch Pittsburgh lose to two of the crappiest teams in the NFL, as well as completely torpedo any hope at the playoffs, in the span of 4 days. But I’m still amazed.

I could go off into a rant about William Gay and Tyrone Carter getting schooled, again. Or possibly expound on the defenses struggles, again. I thought of even going off on the offense and their unimaginable ability to move the ball against the Cleveland Browns. Or even Bruce Arians ridiculous play calling that seems to always stifle drives and confound his team.

I thought of the embarrassment of losing to Eric Mangenius or Tomlin’s promise of change left unfulfilled. Maybe even expounding on the fact that Cleveland has scored a total of one touchdown by a running back this season, and it was Thursday night. Or, horribly, I thought of discussing the 8 sacks given up by the offense, both the fault of an ineffective offensive line and an indecisive Roethlisberger. But you now what? Actually right now I feel good.

Yes, the Steelers season is effectively over. A playoff spot would require winning out and having a mondo amount of luck, which most likely will not happen. But I actually feel fine about it. I know, that sounds absurd, but I do. I feel strangely, yet wonderfully, liberated.

Now for the remainder of the season, I can watch games merely for the joy of it, instead of sitting on eggshells hoping that our flaws are not exposed and that the team can pull out a win. I need not worry about the playoffs and a potential collapse in the post season, because it just won’t happen. I feel free in an odd way.

Sure, another Super Bowl would have been wonderful, and really stuck it to the Patriots. But you cannot win it every year, and the team still has the most wins in the big game than any other team. In addition, I get to potentially see the enjoyment of a team win the Super Bowl that never has before. Go Saints!

And the plus side of all the team’s deficiencies being put on display is that now the coaching staff and team administration can look at the team with objective eyes, work to fix those flaws and build a better team for next year. I know, it’s grasping at straws, but I’ll take any positive I can.

Although in some ways negative and some ways positive, 2009 has been quite memorable for the Pittsburgh Steelers. So come on boys, let’s go out in style and kick a few more fannies. Call it a gift to your fans, because we need one right about now. And after all, it’s almost Christmas!

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Oh look, Tom and Gisele had a baby last week! If Tom has a baby, then how can he be a baby? Curiosity abounds.

After a touchdown last week, Chad Ochocinco strode to the sidelines and donned a poncho and sombrero. For his wacky antic, the NFL fined him $30,000. Thank goodness for Chad, because he promised more to come. I’m strangely curious to see what he’ll do in the playoffs.

In a recap of the decade, Sports Illustrated released a bunch of best of lists this week. One of my favorites was Peter King’s; specifically for his playoff game and Super Bowl game choices. Ahhh, good times.

Redskin Clinton Portis has been placed on injured reserve and is considering retirement. Now, with yet another big name going down for the season, do we really think an 18 game season is a good idea?

This is the video of Viking E.J. Henderson breaking his leg. Trust me; it’s not for the feint of heart. Here’s hoping E.J. recovers well and is able to come back next season.

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

This segment leaves us this week. The regular season of my league completed, and I did not make the playoffs. I should have, based on accumulated points since I tied by record with a cat who made the playoffs. But alas, what the league rules say and how the application actually works are two different things apparently.

But I had fun, learned a few things, got too worked up about individual performance and completely nerded out on football. All in all, an excellent waste of time. I will do it one more season at least, since I’d like to try the draft. So we’ll come back to this next year and see if lessons learned can mean a championship.

Until then, fantasy nerds rejoice, fantasy baseball is right around the corner. Let me know how it turns out.

Upon Further Review

This week we’re going to something completely different and step outside the world of professional football. I know, I should have warned you to sit down first. But something has been on my mind lately and I feel compelled to share.

What’s on my mind is Tiger Woods and his amazing time management and organizational skills. With the seemingly endless revelations regarding Tiger’s private life and his “transgressions”, the astounding points of his ability to keep the various aspects of his life in order have been lost on almost everyone.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and condemn Tiger for what he’s done. As far as I’m concerned, his extramarital activity is between him and Elin. And obviously they’re having their own troubles working through that. I’ve said often that what happens between two people in a relationship is between those two people and not the business of anyone else. If those two people care to share it with others, that’s their choice. Otherwise we should keep our noses out of their troubles.

Right now, this ever expanding state of affairs, no pun intended, is their business not ours. And I say this despite what TMZ or E! News might tell you. We tend to spend too much time focusing on the lives of the rich and famous instead of putting that time and energy into our own lives. That, however, is a discussion for another day and another forum, specifically Quick Thoughts and Nonsense, check it out.

Back to my point; with each new chippie that comes out of the woodwork looking for her 15 minutes of fame by acknowledging she knocked boots with Tiger, I become more amazed with the man. Not because he racked up a giant tally of chicks, but because he was able to.

Think about it for a minute. Tiger has a wife and a family. He has a full time job as a professional golfer that also takes up a multitude of time, both in actual on the job performance as well as travel and practice time. He has a side business where he designs golf courses. On top of that, he works for a myriad of corporations as a spokesman, which requires a significant time commitment. How did he find the time to have a harem of nookie on the side?

Yes, we could easily sit in moral judgment of Tiger regarding his “transgressions”. But what we should be doing is sitting in awe of his time management skills. How he managed to fit all of this into his life I’ll never know. I have enough trouble holding down a full time job, a wife and two dogs and fitting into that hobbies and chores to make my own world go around.

Once everything dies down and Tiger pulls his life back together, he’ll never have to worry about money again. He’s found a second career for when his golf game leaves him. He could easily go on the road speaking to corporations and businesses regarding time management and organizational skills. Honestly. If he can keep track of all of that, keep it in order and find time to address everything and keep everyone relatively happy whilst maintaining his well crafted public persona and shrouding his extracurricular activities from everyone, well the man should be teaching the rest of us how to maximize our time and keep our lives in order. And for the p-hounds out there, he can teach them how to get more tail for less.

He Said He Said

“We didn’t make a play to win that football game, defensively.” – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

In which game?

"I'd have to cut him before he cost me my job.''- Analyst Tony Dungy, on what he'd do if he were the coach of Redskins kicker Shaun Suisham

I don’t believe that at all, especially from a man who stuck by Mike Vanderjagt.

"The commissioner has talked about the risk the owners take. We're not financially invested in ownership, so we don't face that, but we're physically invested in this. What's the price tag for that? Ask [permanently injured Buffalo tight end] Kevin Everett the price tag. We feel we take great risk every time we take the field. I'm sure the owners feel they take great risk every time they invest their money. Where is the common ground? That's what we need to find.'' - New England quarterback Tom Brady, on the current collective bargaining talks between players and owners.

As much as he annoys me, Brady makes an excellent point.

"Stop [expletive] looking at that thing and get your mind right!'' – Oakland quarterback Bruce Gradkowski to left tackle Mario Henderson during the final drive at Pittsburgh

Shame he didn’t give that pep talk to the opposing defense.

"Huh? I'm just trying to win a game, man. What's coach [Jim] Mora's response to that? That's where we're at." – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin when asked about the Steelers playoff chances.

Playoffs? Don’t talk about playoffs! At the very least, Tomlin has a wicked sense of humor. I’m sure he needs it right now. I know I do

Idiot of the week

This week it’s easy. The idiot is us, Steeler nation. Specifically, the idiots are those of us who stayed up late to watch the end of the debacle that was Pittsburgh at Cleveland. Yeesh, never did sleep seem like a better option than watching football.

On Tap This Week

Each week I try, and each week I watch yet another person slip past me toward the front of the pack. I feel like Pittsburgh. Awww, too soon?

Last Week: 9-7

This Week: 0-1

Season to date: 132-59

Sunday

New Orleans (12-0) at Atlanta (6-6)

Next stop on the Saints Express, Atlanta. Please have your tickets ready for departure. Honestly, after last week in Washington, how can you pick against New Orleans?

Saints over Falcons

Seattle (5-7) at Houston (5-7)

Ugh. Which mediocre team will prevail? More importantly who will care?

Texans over Seahawks

Denver (8-4) at Indianapolis (12-0)

Yeah, I’m sorry Peyton. I didn’t mean to doubt you. I’m back in your corner, I promise. I used my MasterCard this week just as a show of faith.

Colts over Broncos

Carolina (5-7) at New England (7-5)

Ok, the Pats are not the world beaters they once were. But they can kick Carolina’s fanny.

Patriots over Panthers

Buffalo (4-8) at Kansas City (3-9)

Good gravy.

Bills over Chiefs

Detroit (2-10) at Baltimore (6-6)

Let’s let the embarrassment continue. The only way I could feel good about the Steelers is if Baltimore crapped the bed against Detroit. That is highly doubtful, though.

Ravens over Lions

Cincinnati (9-3) at Minnesota (10-2)

This is a defining game for both teams. If Cincinnati wants to be taken seriously, they need to win. If Minnesota wants to show they’re a legitimate contender and last week’s fiasco at Arizona was an anomaly, then they must crush the Bungles. And even though the real Brett Favre showed up last week, I’m going with the latter.

Vikings over Bungles

Miami (6-6) at Jacksonville (7-5)

Yeah, Miami did a good job last week. But I think its more anomaly than anything. That’s not confidence in Jacksonville, just doubt in the Dolphins.

Jaguars over Dolphins

New York Jets (6-6) at Tampa Bay (1-11)

Go Sanchize! I wish my fantasy team was still in effect. With Freeman’s new penchant for turnovers and the Jets defensive proclivity for forcing turnovers, it would be a jackpot!

Jets over Buccaneers

Green Bay (8-4) at Chicago (5-7)

I feel like some cheese.

Packers over Bears

Washington (3-9) at Oakland (4-8)

Who’s the bigger crap fest? I’m going with the team that took New Orleans to the limit, not the one that lucked out playing a paper champion.

Redskins over Raiders

St. Louis (1-11) at Tennessee (5-7)

Chris Johnson highlight film forthcoming.

Titans over Rams

San Diego (9-3) at Dallas (8-4)

Hmmm, Norv Turner or Wade Phillips? It’s like Sophie’s choice, except you cannot give up both.

Chargers over Cowboys

Philadelphia (8-4) at New York Giants (7-5)

With a fat new contract to match his pant size, Andy Reid will prevail. Or at the very least, grab a slice of New York style pizza. Either way, he walks away a big winner.

Eagles over Giants

Monday

Arizona (8-4) at San Francisco (5-7)

If that’s the true Arizona team I saw last week, this is a no brainer.

Cardinals over 49ers

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 14 Thursday Night Special

2009-12-10T16:25:00.001-08:00

Wow, Tomlin was right, the Steelers did unleash hell. Because if watching the Raiders beat Pittsburgh at home isn’t hell, I don’t know what is.

Let’s face facts. This team currently is mediocre at best. At worst, we’re looking at a bad team and a mere shell of the unit that won the Super Bowl. Does it have the capacity of being a high caliber team? Absolutely. But will it? Who knows?

I’m resisting the urge to go on a screed about the team, we’re not quite there. Oh, we’re close, but not there yet.

I don’t understand how a team that can defeat the Vikings, a good team, can lose 4 straight with two against abysmal AFC west teams. I just do not. I don’t know where their mojo went, but someone find it and fast.

As for the Oakland game, there’s not much to say. Look, the offense screwed up more than once. Three trips into the red zone that resulted in a field goal, a failed 4^th down conversion and a turnover do not spell world beaters. But at least in crunch time they stepped up. The same cannot be said for the defense.

This game falls squarely on the defense. The defense consistently gave up big play after big play, to a career backup quarterback at home.

They cannot stop big plays, nor can they seem to force turnovers without Troy. The only thing they can do with any semblance of success is prevent opposing running backs from reaching 100 yards of rushing. But any more, I think teams are eschewing the rush to go after Pittsburgh’s exposed secondary. And so far, that has yielded big results for the opposition.

So what is the problem? Why is a unit that looked so dominating last year now at best the middle of the NFL pack? Well it’s like a king size bed with queen size blankets; there are not enough covers to go around.

Troy is out, so they have to cover for him. Aaron Smith goes out so those remaining must cover for him. Larry Foote and Bryant McFadden left, but instead of their replacements taking over, those remaining must cover for the sub par players in their spots. This is especially true in the secondary, where William Gay has proven to be far more ineffectual than advertised.

I said previously that at least this season the Super Bowl defense is going better than in 2006. Now, I wonder. It would seem that the team is getting caught up in a cycle of mediocrity that is self perpetuating. Of course, having Big Ben and Hines having a war of words in the press and Troy questionable for the remainder of the season doesn’t help either.

Maybe I must think 2006, when I went back and watched the Super Bowl XL highlight DVD and it made me feel better. Hey, it’s already like 2006, complete with a crappy loss to the Raiders.

On Tap Tonight

Pittsburgh (6-6) at Cleveland (1-11)

"Hines will do what's best for Hines, I'm sure." – Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger

Hines Ward has a strained hamstring, is listed as questionable and said he will try to play tonight, but it’s doubtful he will. Yes, taste the irony of Hines’ becoming injured a week after questioning Ben’s toughness for not playing. They stated they kissed and made up. But I think Ben’s thinly veiled dig, said earlier in the week, kind of tells everyone that things are still a bit frosty between the two.

Well, playing in Cleveland tonight will not help, with game time temperatures in the low teens and wind chill making it terribly colder. This will be a game of attrition, and one with the season on the line. That flicker of hope I have is as small as my confidence. But hey, as long as it’s still there, we forge ahead….

Steelers over Browns

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 13

2009-12-06T09:53:00.000-08:00

In the wake of the Tiger Woods scandal, a new one is brewing that will blow the doors off of Tiger’s Escalade. Peyton Manning has a “transgression” that will rock the sporting world to its core. Peyton prefers…..Visa! Batten down the hatches, kids, this one’s gonna be huge!

Opening Kickoff

Wait a minute; did I really see advertising the other week stating the Titans and Texans comprised the nastiest rivalry in the NFL? Oh no no no, that's just not true. Does no one remember last year’s AFC Championship game? That is the nastiest rivalry in the NFL. And dang it, we lost round one.

The Way It Was

Did everyone else enjoy watching Bill Belichick run up the white flag against the Saints as much as I did? I think Sean Payton should have stuck it to him with multiple late game scores, but he’s not a jerk like good ol’ Bill.

Awww, poor Tom Brady had to take a seat. Now, why don’t they do that in games New England is winning handily?

The Saints may be the most enjoyable and most fun team to watch in the NFL.

Something told me to take Houston over the Colts. Boy am I glad I don’t listen to that voice very often.

Really Andy Reid, an onside kick off to start the game? Dillhole.

Wow, the Eagles really know how to drag out the end of a half. I believe there’s still 15 seconds until halftime left.

Did Indianapolis forget to pack their defense when they traveled to Houston? Oh no wait, they found it. Had it packed under Peyton’s head shots.

And for the umpteenth week in a row, which Panther team will show up? Darn, it’s the crappy one.

The Panthers need to have an intervention with John Fox and his insistence on putting the game in Delhomme’s hands instead of his running backs. Honestly, if you’re not going to switch quarterbacks, then at least play to your strengths.

Now how did I forget Kyle Boller was starting for the Rams? Oh yeah no one knows who plays for the Rams.

Go Chris Redman, revive that career my man!

Really, Jack Del Rio? You’re down by 17 with 7:36 left in the game with a 4^th and goal from the 3 and you attempt a field goal? Yeah that’ll turn the tide.

Boy, San Diego sure was mean piling it on against poor little Kansas City. Funny too how fast the Chiefs returned to form after their big victory over Pittsburgh. Grrrr.

Chris Johnson made wonderful 85 yard touchdown run. Shame it was spoiled on the very next play by the Titans giving up a kick return for a touchdown.

I knew the Wildcat would be useless without Ronnie Brown, and wrong I was not. They used Ricky Williams in the formation at the quarterback role, and he promptly tossed an interception in the end zone.

I think the NFL should amend their officiating rule book and require that no matter the game or weather, Ed Hochuli must always wear a tank top.

The Giants placed linebacker Antonio Pierce on injured reserve with a bulging disk in his neck. At least New York has that Yankees World Series win to savor.

The Browns placed nose tackle Shaun Rogers on injured reserve as well. Like that will make a difference in the crater that is the Browns season.

The Falcons released long time, yet ineffective, kicker Jason Elam. I wonder if the Colts will sign him to back up Matt Stover, who they signed to back up Adam Vinatieri when he was injured.

The NFL established a new set of rules regarding concussions, stating players showing any sign of a concussion may not return to action that day. This is a great step in the right direction regarding this issue. And while I agree with Gregg Easterbrook that more needs to be done (scroll down to the concussion update) let’s look at the positive side here. Finally the NFL is taking this issue seriously and taking action as opposed to their previous stance of ignoring the issue, giving lip service and throwing up smoke screens about the seriousness of head injuries.

Ok, yes, I’ll admit the Steelers handled Ben’s concussion and game status rather sloppily. If he wasn’t good enough to start, he should have been made inactive instead of dressed as the third string quarterback. It looked especially bad compared to the Cardinals, who did not mess around and took Kurt out of the equation all together. But let’s not overlook the important fact that the team did not allow Roethlisberger to play at all. As teams, players and coaches adjust to the new reality of how to handle concussions, there will be mistakes made and clumsy actions. But as long as the end result is that injured players sit, then the NFL and its teams are moving in the right direction.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 17 Ravens 20 OT

I’ll be honest I did not expect much from this game. I figured with Dennis Dixon making his first start on the road in Baltimore, the team reeling a bit and the Ravens looking for some semblance of payback after last year’s demoralizing AFC Championship game loss, Pittsburgh would probably lose.

However, even with expectations at an all time low, it hurt worse than I thought. I was prepared to absorb a loss, but a heartbreaker in overtime? No, I wasn’t ready for that. And I figured right from the start we might have a chance when I saw big Ed Hochuli stride onto the field. That’s always good times.

I said before the game that Baltimore’s plan on defense would be to stack the box and dare Dixon to throw. They did, and Mendenhall made them pay and Dixon showed chutzpah against a fierce rush. Did the Ravens’ plan work? I’d say less than successful.

Considering their obstacles, the offense did quite well. Against a good, if showing its age defense, Rashard Mendenhall had over 100 all purpose yards and looked more and more the number one running back. The line played well and Dennis Dixon did everything asked and a bit more. He did lose some accuracy in the second half, but he still did well, throwing for one touchdown and running for another.

When a backup starts, especially one as raw as Dixon, all you can ask of him is to control the ball, keep the offense moving, make a few big plays and avoid turnovers. And Dixon did this admirably for 60 minutes. Unfortunately no one told Dennis about overtime. Yes, I’m sure he’d love to have that last pass back. But the truth remains, he should have never been in that situation.

I also said Baltimore’s offensive game plan would be to consistently pick on cornerback William Gay and safety Tyrone Carter with intermediate to long passes while hitting Ray Rice on short passes. Unfortunately, I could have been wearing a name tag that said Hello My Name is Nostradamus.

Yes, the defense did limit Ray Rice to very few rushing yards. But what they didn’t limit was the big plays. And those killed the team. The worst was in the 4^th quarter, when Baltimore was stuck in a 3^rd down and 22 yards to go situation while the Steelers held a tumultuous 3 point lead. Baltimore gained 17 yards to set up a 4^th and 5. And what happened? A pass to Ray Rice underneath that resulted in a first down as well as huge gain which set up the game tying field goal.

Everyone needed to step up and play lights out in the absence of both Polamalu and Roethlisberger, but the defense failed at the end, again. This marks the fourth game the defense gave away in the fourth quarter, and it would seem all the replacements, new starters and ages are catching up with the unit. While I know half the teams in the league would love to have this defense in their current shape, as fans we’ve seen them at their best, and this is not it. Perhaps this is just not Pittsburgh’s year. Hey, you cannot win them all I suppose.

And now, the team sits on a three game losing streak and on the outside of the wild card chase. It’s strange to say that, and realize its true, since three weeks ago the Steelers were poised to take over the division. Excuse me while I go attach a car battery to my earlobes and shock myself back to February of this year.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

So did I hear right during Thursday night’s game? Yankee manager Joe Girardi is helping Mark Sanchez learn to slide? Apparently Sanchez will need some additional lessons.

Ok, now once was annoying, but as a regular segment? No. The Windows 7 seven words to recap segment has got to go; it’s pure awful. Are networks and the NFL that desperate for advertising dollars as to create this new level of ridiculousness? They can't be right? Obviously shame plays no part. I have 7 words I like to use when I see this sort of invasive, blatant advertizing, but you can't say them on television.

Here’s a great article detailing the creation of the first objective test for concussions. Anyone else surprised that once again, the Steelers led the NFL in change for the better?

Two workers doing maintenance at Cowboys Stadium slipped and fell both suffering significant injuries. If I worked for the Cowboys and someone asked me to go up on a roof or in the rafters, I think I’d answer with a definitive hell no.

If I ever have kids, I am not going here when it’s time for their birth. No way, it’s just too creepy.

Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was cited for going 109 mph on a Minneapolis highway last week. Good gravy, why was he going so fast, he’ll never catch Chris Johnson for the rushing title that way.

You know that commercial for NFL Play60 where Drew Brees throws a pass to President Obama while Troy Polamalu defends? I like the commercial, and more importantly the message of getting kids out to play and exercise more. But Troy, with all the injuries you’ve had this season, do you think extra curricular stuff like that is wise? The Madden Curse lives.

Did you hear Jets coach Rex Ryan complaining the other week about the Patriots disrespecting his team by throwing long with the game already in hand? Hey, Rex, I know you spent a few years in the AFC North, but come on. Is this the first time you’ve seen the Patriots? That’s what they do dingbat.

Clear a path people, “genius” coming through! What a jerk.

In Pittsburgh, there is a weekly TV show called the Steelers Huddle. This season they have had revolving hosts, I suspect in an attempt to find a new permanent host. Last year, the host was Hines Ward. This season, they’ve had Ryan Clark, Max Starks and others take a turn. This week, the guest host was kicker Jeff Reed, who performed his duties wearing at t-shirt that said I don’t wanna grow up. No duh Jeff.

Woah, check it out. Steeler country converted actor Jake Gyllenhaal, a long time Patriots fan, into a Steeler fan. Take that Tom Brady.

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

I lost by 11 points. I started Atlanta’s defense because I figured, against the Buccaneers they might score me some points. They scored 4 points. The Jets defense, however, scored 24.

One of these days, I’ll figure this thing out. But for now, there’s still hope for a winning season record. So here we go!

Upon Further Review

I should have saved the link, but I read in an article this week regarding the Eagles that the NFC East has 11 Lombardi trophies within the division. So I thought, hey, let’s look at all the divisions and see who has the most trophies and how many teams hold them. Just a fun little exercise; after all we don’t have to delve deep into a serious subject every week.

NFC East:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 11

Teams Won: Cowboys (5) Giants (3) Redskins (3)

NFC North:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 4

Teams Won: Packers (3) Bears (1)

NFC West:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 6

Teams Won: 49ers (5) Rams (1)

NFC South:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 1

Teams Won: Buccaneers (1)

AFC East:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 6

Teams Won: Patriots (3) Dolphins (2) Jets (1)

AFC North:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 7

Teams Won: Steelers (6) Ravens (1)

AFC West:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 6

Teams Won: Raiders (3) Broncos (2) Chiefs (1)

AFC South:

Number of Lombardi Trophies: 2

Teams Won: Colts (2)

What did I find interesting? There were more trophies in the AFC West than I realized. A handful of teams are really hogging all the glory. And if you’re a fan of a team in either South division, it’s been a lonely time. Well, lonely for those fans and Browns and Bungle fans.

He Said He Said

“You gotta flush that thing to become a hole” – Matt Millen on Thursday Night Football

That’s what she said.

''Please don't talk to me about moral victories and things of that nature.'' – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

Yo, Mike, I only want to talk of actual victories. Think we can do that this week?

"Any time you have a lead in the fourth quarter and lose, it stinks." – Steelers defensive end Brett Keisel

Been quite a bit stinking lately.

“Not even close.'' - Carolina quarterback Jake Delhomme on if he’s had a season as frustrating.

Until next season, if one exists for Jake.

"I've spoken to no teams and don't intend to do so while there is a current head coach.'' – CBS NFL analyst Bill Cowher

Say it with me Bill, Show Me The Money!

"Anybody that sees us coming, they better bring their best, because that's what we're bringing to the table.” - Steelers offensive tackle Willie Colon

Willie, tell the defense it’s time to bring their share to the table as well.

"We will unleash hell here in December." – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

Since most of November has been rather hellish, why not?

"I almost couldn't do it, because I was peeing my pants. I'm serious." – Titans owner Bud Adams on watching his team’s game winning drive

Uhhh, yeah. Make up your own Depends joke here, I’m leaving this one alone.

“It's not fun but you can get knee replacement surgery, you can have rotator cuff surgeries, but you can't get a new brain.” – Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger

Excellent point Ben, although if that ever becomes an option I’ve got a list of people I’d like to submit.

"I think it's probably one of the friendliest cities I've spent time in in America and I've really enjoyed that. Maybe it's because I'm an outsider and I see things a little clearer, but nobody ever talks about the beauty of the architecture in Pittsburgh, the churches, the steeples." – actor Russell Crowe talking about Pittsburgh

Thanks Russell. Maybe if someone like you extols the virtues of this great city, everyone else will finally get what I’ve said for years, and understand why this place is beyond great and one of the best places to live in the world.

Idiot of the week

I’ve detected several patterns in idiots this year. It’s full of guys who punch, Eric Mangini, and sadly Steelers.

This week’s winner is one of my favorite players, receiver Hines Ward. Unless you’ve been on the moon, by now you’ve heard Ward’s comments regarding Ben Roethlisberger, his concussion and missing Sunday night’s game at Baltimore.

Ward spent all week performing damage control, and while he may be honest in his assertion that his comments were out of frustration and misconstrued, the damage is still done.

By opening his yap in the first place, Ward created a maelstrom of controversy over an already white hot topic. Everyone and their nephew chimed in deriding Hines and his opinions. If it weren’t for Tiger and his transgressions, it would probably have been the big topic of the week.

Not only that, but by questioning Roethlisberger’s courage, and if you ask me it takes more to admit to having a concussion, he made Ben look bad in front of everyone. And anyway, how can anyone even question Roethlisberger at this point? He willingly stands behind an offensive line that routinely gives up sacks. If that’s not brave, what is? Plus, it wasn’t even Ben’s call to sit out; it was the doctor’s call.

The whole episode made Hines look even dumber when you take into account that he fully supported Ryan Clark when he sat out the Denver game because it risked his long term health. Hines, playing could potentially risk Ben’s long term health, what’s the difference my man?

Ward’s statements were ignorant and uninformed at best, and irresponsible and divisive at worst. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ward and way he plays the game. But his attitude and opinions reflect a culture in the NFL that is long overdue in changing, and at least now grudgingly headed toward that very change. I’m glad in some way he apologized to Ben, and has made some attempts at fixing the mess, but that doesn’t change one simple fact. This week, Hines you are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

I kept thinking last week I was getting creamed, but overall, the damage was not too bad.

Last week: 10-6

This week: 1-0

Season to date: 125-52

It wasn’t great though, as I lost most close games, and on top of that the cat at the top extended his lead. Ouch. Well, it ain’t over, I hear no fat lady warming up yet. And yes, my win/loss totals have been slightly adjusted. Realized somewhere I messed up the math. Apparently simple addition is beyond me some days.

Sunday

Philadelphia (7-4) at Atlanta (6-5)

I think Andy Reid is planning on starting this game off with a pooch punt. Regardless, how confident do you feel in Chris Redman starting his first game in almost two years? Me either.

Eagles over Falcons

Tampa Bay (1-10) at Carolina (4-7)

Ugh. Well, I’m going with Carolina, but I will not be surprised if Josh Freeman pulls out a plucky win on the road. I hate the Panthers so much right now.

Panthers over Buccaneers

St. Louis (1-10) at Chicago (4-7)

Hey, Cutler can beat St. Louis, right? Ha ha ha!

Bears over Rams

Detroit (2-9) at Cincinnati (8-3)

I know Larry Foote is accustomed to beating the Bungles, but I think like his former team, he’ll be sorely disappointed come Sunday evening.

Bungles over Lions

Tennessee (5-6) at Indianapolis (11-0)

Indianapolis has been winning with overachieving rookies, Peyton playing at MVP levels and a large dollop of luck. Plus with the division and a playoff spot locked up, they can pretty much cruise to the number one seed. Tennessee has been riding Chris Johnson’s cape backed by a newly confident Vince Young and are fighting for an outside hope at a wild card spot. I’m talking myself into something crazy….

Titans over Colts

Houston (5-6) at Jacksonville (6-5)

Grrrr. It doesn’t matter who I pick in this one, the other team will win. Some games just chaff my rear. This is one of them.

Jaguars over Texans

Denver (7-4) at Kansas City (3-8)

Yeah, I know. Denver has a crappy record against the Chiefs in Kansas City during the month of December. So what? For the past few years, the Chiefs have a crappy record in Kansas City from September through December.

Broncos over Chiefs

Oakland (3-8) at Pittsburgh (6-5)

Big Ben is back, the team is at home and a long time hated rival is invading Heinz Field. It’s time to put this season back on the right track and get in position for a playoff spot. Now.

Steelers over Raiders

New England (7-4) at Miami (5-6)

Hmmm, gee, since Belichick despises division opponents, and Miami is shorthanded without Ronnie Brown, I wonder what will happen…

Patriots over Dolphins

New Orleans (11-0) at Washington (3-8)

Next stop on the Saints Express, our nation’s capital. Boy, this bandwagon is super comfortable and comes with every amenity.

Saints over Redskins

San Diego (8-3) at Cleveland (1-10)

If Norv Turner cannot beat Cleveland, then he’s a worse coach than Eric Mangini. Well, even if he does that debate may still rage in my own head.

Chargers over Browns

Dallas (8-3) at New York Giants (6-5)

Ok, yeah, Romo and the Cowboys have had middling success in December. But right now, New York would give Eli’s right foot for middling success.

Cowboys over Giants

San Francisco (5-6) at Seattle (4-7)

I’m sorry I doubted you last week, Mike Singletary. I will not make the same mistake this week.

49ers over Seahawks

Minnesota (10-1) at Arizona (7-4)

Oh wow, as soon as he takes the field, Brett Favre will break yet another record this one for most consecutive starts. Peter King will then explode.

Vikings over Cardinals

Monday

Baltimore (6-5) at Green Bay (7-4)

Is Baltimore’s defense still a world beater? No. Is Green Bay’s offensive line better? No. But I still like the Pack at home, and not just because it’s good for Pittsburgh’s playoff hopes. But that does help.

Packers over Ravens

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 13 Thursday Night Special

2009-12-03T18:24:00.000-08:00

Woo hoo, it’s our first December game of 2009. The regular season rapidly approaches its zenith as we forge toward the playoff entrant end game.

And what better way to kick off the month of December football than heading north of the border? That’s right, tonight’s game will be held in Canada, with the Toronto, I mean Buffalo, Bills hosting the New York Jets. The star of stars TO will be wowing the hosers as only he can, because after all, the Bills are North America’s team.

You know what I like about Canada? The space. The land mass of Canada is huge, 3,512,524 square miles to be exact. And their population is 33,864,000. I think there’s twice as many people than that in the Lower East Side.

That’s a wicked amount of space per person. And I know what you’re thinking, oh so what, it’s winter up there like half the year. So what? I’m sure there are more than a few people crammed into a sardine box in East LA that would gladly trade a bit of nice weather for some elbow room.

Everyone touts about their health care system, beer, hockey, comedians or generally funny accents, but I love Canada because it’s huge. Break me off a piece, I need a winter home.

On Tap Tonight

New York Jets (5-6) at Buffalo (4-7)

Ok, how about some actual game items then, eh? Buffalo, with an interim coach, has suddenly found an offensive spark with Fitzpatrick and Owens. I love the combination of these two. One is Ivy League, the other Division II yet in the NFL worlds come together. How about that for a Christmas story? On the other hand, the Jets’ defense awoke from a slumber last week and Matt Sanchez, well, he’s still a rookie. There is no home field advantage, and both teams seem schizophrenic when it comes to playing well, and I know I’ll regret this but….

Jets over Bills

The Crystal Ball Week 12

2009-11-29T08:54:00.000-08:00

Boy seems this week’s offering is feeling a bit light and showing a lack of proper effort. Well, that’s what happens when you’re weighed down with approximately 10 tons of turkey and stuffing. It was worth it though, those leftovers are still delicious. And hey, it’s not like there’s nothing good in here this week. Come on in, make a turkey sandwich and enjoy.

Opening Kickoff

Did everyone watch the primetime game Thursday night at Denver? Josh McDaniels said a swear…..

The Way It Was

Overtime is the word is the word.

Well that and missed field goals. Was it just me or did it seem kickers were choking left and right? And not just ones named Brown.

Boy, it’s a bad time to be in Houston and named Kris Brown. Or Chris Brown for that matter either.

Was I surprised about Terrell Owens scoring a 98 yard touchdown? No. Was I surprised I haven’t heard about it all week? Yes.

Really Dallas? At home against a Washington team without Betts and Portis as offensive threats and the best you can muster is one touchdown?

I give Singletary credit; the 49ers were down big but fought back to within one score with 6 minutes left in Green Bay. They didn’t have enough to go over the top, but they’re still fighting.

And Green Bay had best find some fight, especially since they’ve lost Al Harris and Aaron Kampman for the season.

I don’t know if I should give Atlanta credit for fighting the Giants into overtime, or say New York stinks for needing overtime to finish the Falcons off.

Denver brings in Orton off the bench for a Willis Reed moment. Although it only worked for a moment as the Chargers proceeded to discect Denver.

Another Charger/Bronco game, another big red zone call. Where’s ed Hochuli when you need him?

I’m glad the Eagles kept Westbrook on the shelf and hope they continue to do so. The man’s long term health is at stake. Unfortunately, they should have done that sooner.

Ok, which is more fun? That the Colts defense won the game for them, instead of the offense, by limiting the Ravens to field goals, that a missed field goal by the Ravens doomed them or that the winning field goal points for the Colts were scored by Matt Stover, the long time Raven who was cut in the off season? I’m going with all three.

The best game of the season was played last week in Detroit, and no one saw it. 9 touchdown passes between Brady Quinn and Matt Stafford and a thrilling last second victory for Detroit. Just the highlights alone were worth the price of admission. Plus, Stafford coming back in after having his non throwing shoulder crushed to finish off the win, how great was that? I’m telling Detroit fans right now, with Stafford behind center you will win at least one more game this season. You’ve got a gamer there.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 24 – Kansas City 27 OT

Ok, this one is on me. I forgot to launder my jersey after the Bungles loss, and the stink of that one hung around for a second week. Please note I’ve laundered this week so…..

I’m not breaking this one down. If you saw it, you know who’s fault the loss hangs on, everyone. The team looked unprepared, played poorly, executed sloppily and in general just looked as though they felt showing up would be enough to garner victory. It was not.

The team played lackadaisical and took mindless, undisciplined penalties. And if looking terrible and losing the game weren’t enough, then the real indignity and damage occurred. First, Big Ben took a knee to the head and suffered a concussion. And while all week he passed the appropriate tests, he suffered headaches later on and now will be sitting out Sunday. No problem, right, we have Charlie Batch! No we don’t. Batch went into the game, his first regular season action in 2 seasons, and promptly breaks his wrist.

Now we go into Baltimore, where they’re still pissed over last season and in general, with 3^rd string Dennis Dixon starting and recently signed CFL player Tyler Palko as his back up. As the saying goes, you make hay while the sun shines. Well, the sun was shining against the Bears, Bungles and Chiefs and the barn remained empty. Now, the clouds are forming and what is the team going to do?

I want to know one thing; no one has Jeff Garcia’s number?

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

The venerable Pontiac Silverdome was sold at auction last week for $583,000. If I had known the price would be so low, I’d have broken into my change jar.

It’s safe to say I’m an Alyson Hannigan fan. I think she’s funny and quite the cutie. But I don’t want her stealing air time in my Peyton Manning commercials! There’s so few this season as it is, I want all the Peyton I can get!

And I’m glad we’re finally seeing some new commercials.

Bill Cowher turned down a request for interview from the Bills, but did express interest in coaching the Bears or Texans. Come on Bill, just get over it and head to Cleveland.

Mike Shanahan had a two day interview in Buffalo. I think Mike could do some good in Buffalo, but with the cold weather how would he maintain his year-round tan?

Why did Andy Reid spend the entire Bears game with a towel around his neck? Was he suffering from meat sweats or something? I suppose it’s better than his usual flop sweat.

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

One, measly, stinking lousy point. I lost by one point. The winning streak and the comeback were abruptly halted by one point. All I needed was someone to generate one point and all would have been right with the world. Alas, that was not to be.

This week, I go up against the cat with Drew Brees who tore me a new one at the beginning of the season. What will I learn this week? History repeats itself, I fear.

Upon Further Review

With all the movement in the last two weeks, it would appear the NFL is finally taking the issue of concussions seriously. Goodell has been on a mission to get the word out and make necessary changes. He’s brought up having players evaluated by independent neurosurgeons and neurologists, mandating better helmets and getting new leadership on the medical counsel for the NFL that sets policies on concussions. Goodell spoke on the NFL Network saying he wants players to stand up and say when they do not feel right to keep them safe. Well Goodell should be ecstatic this week as he finally has his poster boy, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.

Big Ben’s situation is exactly what Goodell wanted, and what the league needs. Roethlisberger took a knee to the head in last week’s overtime loss to Kansas City, and showed signs of a concussion. Although after the game he seemed lucid and said he was fine. Early in the week, he passed all post concussion tests, maintained he felt fine and was expected to play. But after practice on Wednesday and Thursday, Roethlisberger developed headaches and became concerned. Although he passed the tests, he did not feel right.

So he stood up and said so. The Steelers coaching and medical staffs, to their credit, said if you don’t feel right, then we ride without you and you get yourself healthy. I for one am happy as all get out about it. I know, that sounds odd to say a person is happy their franchise quarterback will spend a vital division game in civilian clothes but it’s true.

Yes, it hurts Pittsburgh’s chances for victory this week. But a long term healthy Big Ben helps them immeasurably for years to come. And I’d rather have one loss in the short term than a permanent one in the long term. And in the macrocosm of the NFL, this move will lead the way for many other players. If guys who don’t feel right can look at Roethlisberger, a big name player, as a role model then they may not be so hesitant to stand up as well and say they do not feel right. They won’t be so afraid to talk candidly with their team about their condition or feel pressured to rush back before they’re healthy. This could lead to many great players extending their careers because they are properly healed, instead of seeing them either shorten their careers, or play too long and spend retirement in a punch drunk state.

Kudos to Goodell for finally addressing this issue properly and helping develop a culture in which players can come forward, kudos to Big Ben for standing up and being the first big name to say I don’t feel right and kudos to the Steelers for listening and taking appropriate action. Let’s hope this spark turns into a bonfire to light a healthier and safer future in the NFL. And I hope Kurt Warner would follow the same lead, but it would appear he is not. Change takes time, but at least finally the NFL is on the same track.

He Said He Said

"I take responsibility for that performance. I have to have this football team better prepared to play." – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

Then get cracking, because time is ticking. And nice job taking responsibility. It’s always refreshing having a coach who says the buck stops here. It’s a concept Cleveland fans are unfamiliar with.

“Lawrence Tynes had a nice long field goal” – Giants head coach Tom Coughlin after the loss at Denver.

Boy that's reaching for something positive.

“It's the NFL Network, it doesn't surprise me.” – Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels’ reaction to the NFLN broadcasting him swearing on the sidelines

It doesn't change the fact that you used a swear josh, and a really naughty one! For shame, FOR SHAME! Ok, I didn’t care, actually I found it hilarious. But you know someone had a hissy fit about it.

“Ed Hochuli’s got some guns on him” – Vikings defensive end Jared Allen

Duh!

"It takes a tremendous amount of energy, but there is a certain appeal there." – Mike Holmgren on the possibility of working in some capacity for the Browns

What, exactly, would that appeal be Mike?

"We are capable of much more than that. That is not us and it won't be us.” – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin

Show me.

Idiot of the week

Easily the winner here has to be Eric Mangini. I guess the guy enjoyed winning so much he came back for more.

This one is too easy. With Detroit’s wunderkind quarterback sidelined on the last play of the game, Mangini called a time out to bitch to the referees about the obvious pass interference call on the previous play that put Detroit on Cleveland’s 1 yard line for an untimed end of the game play. Stafford before the time out had left with an injury, and Detroit faced trying to win the game with the cold Daunte Culpepper under center as no player can return to the game from injury for at least one play or unless either team calls a time out. Detroit was out of them, but Cleveland was not. Unfortunately for Cleveland fans, who I’m sure started drinking rat poison at this point, Mangini obliged, Stafford streaked back onto the field and threw the game tying touchdown.

Why exactly did Mangini call that time out? All it did was give the Lions a chance to put Stafford back on the field and win the game. He would have been better off saving his complaints for after the game and letting Detroit proceed with Culpepper who has not played at all. But there is only one reason why Mangini called that time out. Because Eric Mangini, you are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

Finally, FINALLY, I got back on track…

Last week: 13-3

This week: 2-1

Season to date: 117-49

That’s a sweet looking number! Now I stand but one game out of first place with just a scant 6 weeks to go. Thank you Mr. Cowboy I’ll take it under advisement. Hit it again.

Sunday

Miami (5-5) at Buffalo (3-7)

Yeah, I’m gonna go with Miami, although something tells me whomever I pick will be wrong.

Dolphins over Bills

Washington (3-7) at Philadelphia (6-4)

Perhaps Philadelphia can do better than Dallas against a crappy team at home.

Eagles over Redskins

Tampa Bay (1-9) at Atlanta (5-5)

Ok Atlanta, this is where you turn things around. And if you don’t, it’s all over.

Falcons over Buccaneers

Seattle (3-7) at St. Louis (1-9)

Ewww.

Rams over Seahawks

Carolina (4-6) at New York Jets (4-6)

These two teams are exactly the same. Whenever I pick them, they lose and when I don’t they win big. I give up.

Panthers over Jets

Cleveland (1-9) at Cincinnati (7-3)

I’d like to see the Bungles lose, but come on, it’s the Browns.

Bungles over Browns

Indianapolis (10-0) at Houston (5-5)

Sorry, I see good things in Houston, and I was going to give them a chance. But no, Peyton is on a roll and with new commercials out, fired up.

Colts over Texans

Kansas City (3-7) at San Diego (7-3)

Pittsburgh beat San Diego and Kansas City beat Pittsburgh, so KC should beat San Diego, right? Wrong.

Chargers over Chiefs

Jacksonville (6-4) at San Francisco (4-6)

I feel bad for Mike Singletary, but his team just doesn’t have the horses yet. Yet.

Jaguars over 49ers

Chicago (4-6) at Minnesota (9-1)

Hmmm, how many picks will Cutler throw in this one? If it’s over 4, can we finally stop the Cutler is a franchise quarterback talk, please?

Vikings over Bears

Arizona (7-3) at Tennessee (4-6)

I don’t think Warner should be playing, at all. The Tennessee freight train picks up more speed.

Titans over Cardinals

Pittsburgh (6-4) at Baltimore (5-5)

I still maintain the Baltimore defense is merely a shell of itself. Two losses in a row mean massive disrespect for the defending super bowl champions. And now both of Pittsburgh’s leaders are on the shelf with injuries. This is a game where the men are separated from the boys.

Steelers over Ravens

Monday

New England (7-3) at New Orleans (10-0)

Easily this is the game of the week. And no, I am not hopping off the Saints band wagon. It’s just getting good on here!

Saints over Patriots

The Crystal Ball Week 12 Thanksgiving Special

2009-11-25T21:14:00.001-08:00

Welcome one and all to the 2009 season Thanksgiving feast! Yes, in modern times we should all be thankful that the NFL serves up three heaping helpings of NFL action for us to stare at as the tryptophan kicks in after a lovely meal with family and friends. Oh how delicious it is.

But before we get to dishing out the goodies, I must touch on a debate that has gained steam in recent years and reiterate my position once again. With their putrid record for, well, decades and awful performances in recent years, the debate has been raised that the Lions should not be featured on Thanksgiving, and instead be replaced by more competitive games and better teams. I say meh to this nonsense and never want to see the Lions lose their Thanksgiving game.

First off, do we really need or want a competitive game on Thanksgiving Day? Short answer, no we do not. Football on Thanksgiving is merely background anyway, a center point for men and boys to gather while they chew the fat and tell tall tales with the occasional glance at the game. It also serves as a focal point while the turkey digests and satiated diners drift off into afternoon naps. Football is not meant to be the focal point of the day, but merely another aspect, much like the parade or pumpkin pie. The focal point is giving thanks for the good things in your life while breaking bread with your family and friends. Football? Let’s just call it a delicious snack on which to graze.

Secondly, why hate on the Lions just because they stink, does tradition mean nothing? Many moons ago, when the NFL first conceived of the Thanksgiving Day game, the Lions stood tall and accepted the challenge. Yes it would mean the players, coaches and staff would be away from family and friends on this day. Yes it would mean having to play a short week every year. And yes, it would mean working while everyone else relaxed and ate. But their work and sacrifice gave the rest of us entertainment, no matter the quality, for years now establishing one of the best traditions in sports.

Everyone knows the Lions play on Thanksgiving, always have and always should. For those of us who have always known this, it would be like removing a hallowed tradition. Imagine Thanksgiving without turkey, (yes I know my vegetarian friends, this is not difficult for you but you get my drift I hope) or without the Macy’s parade, cranberry sauce or afternoon naps. Sure I suppose you could, but why would you want to? You might as well nix Santa from Christmas, the ball dropping on New Years and trees from Arbor Day as well. I know some traditions become old, stale, outdated or just out of touch. But sometimes, even those still hold meaning and the day would be less without those traditions than with them. The Lions on Thanksgiving certainly fall into this category.

And lastly, Detroit has so little when it comes to football and in many other areas as well. Why take this away from them? Let them have their moment in the sun and enjoy their national exposure. Who knows when the team will be good enough again to grab a featured game on Sunday or Monday night? So to the NFL, I ask, nay beg, leave well enough alone. The world contains too much change. Leave this tradition in place and let the Lions have their day. If you do, I’ll save a place at our table for you. The turkey’s almost done and the game is on, come on over.

On The Menu Today

Green Bay (6-4) at Detroit (2-8)

Matt Stafford’s heroic return to the game to steal the win last week will go down in Lions’ lore and heaven knows they need some modern day lore. Stafford showed he’s at least a gamer, and hopefully the franchise quarterback the team needs to build around. But they’re still a long way away from being relevant, or even mediocre. And with Aaron Rodgers making faster decisions as of late, Green Bay moves back firmly into the wild card race.

Packers over Lions

Oakland (3-7) at Dallas (7-3)

Amazing what a quarterback who can lead and wants to play can do for a team. Can the Raiders steal one in Big D? Possibly, you never know, especially considering the offensive display Romo and company presented against the lowly Redskins last week. But, it’s Thanksgiving, Romo has shown a penchant for playing big on Turkey Day, and I’ll go home team here.

Cowboys over Raiders

New York Giants (6-4) at Denver (6-4)

Another wonderfully presented dish by the NFL Network. Honestly, I swear sometimes watching games on NFLN; they hired people who know nothing about production value. Honestly, are their games a training ground for production crews looking to get a job with a network? But I digress.

Denver is cratering fast, and the Giants are teetering on the precipice of joining them. I’d say Denver has a chance playing at home, but with a gimpy Orton and after their dismantling last week, I just cannot have confidence in them. Not that I have that much confidence in New York, but at least they squeezed out a win last week.

Giants over Broncos

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 11

2009-11-22T08:38:00.000-08:00

What happened in Indianapolis last week? I heard something about a bad call, but there’s been hardly any post game press I haven’t been able to get a clear understanding. Could someone let me know, I’m curious.

Opening Kickoff

If you want to be considered a top team, you must dominate week in and week out. You cannot take a week off nor have intermittent performances. Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Denver, Dallas, Chicago, New England and Carolina all had opportunities in the last week to throw a definitive gauntlet down and state, come and get some. All failed miserably. If you cannot deliver against other prominent teams, you are not top tier, but mid round playoff cannon fodder.

We’re headed toward a final championship round of Indianapolis and either Minnesota or New Orleans as things stand. And unless one of the teasing teams from above step up and assert themselves, be prepared for more Favre/Brees/Manning hype than you ever thought possible.

The Way It Was

The Broncos are not so much falling back to earth as rocketing at break neck speed.

And I hate to say it, but no Neck Beard, big problem.

The same goes for Atlanta without Michael Turner.

Jets, you are officially dead to me. You cannot beat an opponent, at home, after a week of rest?

How about Maurice Jones-Drew taking a knee instead of scoring a touchdown? Brilliant football strategy move, extremely smart, the coaches get gold stars for being very aware of clock management, the Jets time out situation and dictating how the end game would play out. Color me impressed. Andy Reid, for the sake of Eagles fans everywhere please take notes.

And I’ll go one step further, anyone who argues differently, and there has been a few prominent people blathering on about it, either doesn’t know football strategy or is a cheesed off fantasy owner, period.

I might have to rethink my opinion on the Jaguars. It might be time to give them a chance.

How come Saints had so many fits from rams? I guess it is hard to win every week. Yet, here they are winning every week.

It has been decided. The official results are in, and the winner of the overrated coach underachieving with a good team bowl is Andy Reid. Andy, have a cheese steak and if it doesn’t give you a cardiac infarction, a victory lap.

Down by 14 on the road in the second quarter with 4^th and goal on the 1, Andy Reid of course girds his loins, let’s the ice water flow through his veins and…..kicks the field goal! At the very least, Reid is consistent. But once again Andy, in case you missed it, you do NOT win games settling for field goals.

A note the other team from Pennsylvania should take well to heart, me thinks.

Brian Westbrook came back last week and promptly suffered another concussion. Eagles, for his sake please sit him for the remainder of the season. He’s not healed and you’re piling damage on damage. Did no one read last week’s column?

Shockingly, the Chargers have overcome their annual early season swoon to charge into a tie for the division lead, which was once thought insurmountable. I cannot wait for their annual playoff collapse as well.

Boy, it just seems like the Cardinals want to screw the home fans, no?

Roy Williams, a few notes. Number one receivers do not drop first down catches, nor do they fumble balls on the way to the end zone. You want to be considered better than Austin, make the plays your position as “number one” dictates.

Yeah, the Cowboys losing Marc Columbo to a broken fibula hurts. But as saying goes, the standard is the standard, and the Cowboys seem allergic to that.

The Emperor, I mean Bill Belichick, has made a critical error and the time for our attack has come. You know what, I think if people hadn’t suffered for years from Belichick’s surly, superior attitude he would not have received near the flack for his 4^th and 2 call as he did. Actually I think there are still people complaining about it right now.

The best part of this play call has yet to come. We’ll see it the next time Belichick calls to go for it on fourth down and every Patriot fan tenses up and prepares to vomit and if the Pats should not convert, go into raving hysterics over it. Now that will be high comedy.

Brady Quinn knocked Terrell Suggs out of game with a low hit after an interception, drawing the ire of Ray Lewis. Quinn just cannot do anything right.

Ravens safety Haruki Nakamura broke ankle on opening kickoff and was lost for the game and season. Amazingly, this team that went to the AFC Championship game last year is looking even worse especially once you factor in they had a terrible first half and barely pulled it together for a 16-0 win. Hey Baltimore, this is Cleveland, not Cincinnati you dopes.

The Steel Pit

Didn’t I bust the Eagles chops last week for losing at home against a division opponent with the division lead on the line? Yes I did. Well, welcome to the personally painful sequel.

Steelers 12 – Bungles 18

Ok, so what happened? They had moments where they looked alright. Who should hang their head in shame? Let’s roll through the suspects.

1) The Defense – nope, sorry but they’re off the hook on this one. They held a very good offensive team to 12 total points, none of them touchdowns. And they did it without the services of Troy Polamalu while knocking Cedric Benson out of the game. The defense did fine. Although Timmons had best get some speed, I’m ready to see Keyaron Fox more often playing inside linebacker.

2) The offense – They did not look good, no doubt. But they did have some success moving the ball. Everything went out the window when they hit the red zone. I would not blame them for the loss, but they didn’t help.

3) Big Ben – Let’s face it, Roethlisberger had a bad day. His passes either sailed high or fell short, he looked uncomfortable in the pocket all day and never quite found a rhythm with his receivers. But every once in a while even the great ones put up a stinker and I’d rather have Roethlisberger and the occasional bad day than anyone else.

4) Bruce Arians – My biggest problems with Arians were giving up on the run too early, he only called 16 total running plays, and his bad management of the last drive. I understood time was of the essence on the final drive, but he didn't need to go for big home run plays on both 2nd and 3rd down. He had enough time to just keep the ball moving. Yes, 10 yard gains in the middle of the field will not work when ultimately the end zone is required, but if you chip away a bit and keep the chains moving, going for the home run ball is much easier from the opponents 25 than your own 33. Still the onus of defeat is not solely on Bruce.

5) Special Teams – Here you go. Sure, Jeff Reed made another pathetic tackle attempt, but if he has to keep trying to tackle the damage is already done. And yes, the Bungles seemed content to throw illegal blocks on every return, but still that is no excuse. The units allowed another return touchdown and constant good field position all day. Here’s your culprit.

This week Pittsburgh cut special teams stalwart Arnold Harrison who has been with the team through two Super Bowls. Will this fix the problem? No, but I believe it sends a message. No one is safe and everyone had best shape up fast. Let’s hope it works.

But I think this week is a good one for Steeler fans to sit back, relax, take a very deep breath and let it go. Look, so far the team is doing relatively well despite injuries and not having found a true identity offensively. And most likely will end up having a good season and still make the playoffs. At minimum, the Super Bowl title defense is going much better than it did in 2006, which goes a long way in my book. But just call us Steeler fans spoiled, because at this point we are accustomed to a certain lifestyle, and that lifestyle includes winning big and pounding on the Bungles. The latter has not happened this season.

The good news from the game is that Troy Polamalu had an MRI performed on his reinjured left knee, revealing a PCL strain and could be back in 2-3 weeks. Yeesh, I hope he doesn’t work his way around to the ACL. Good gravy why did I say that out loud? I will now tear mine with my bare hands to avoid a possible jinx.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Jon Gruden will be extending his stay on Monday Night Football, signing a new contract this week through 2011. I guess he found out what Bill Cowher did, it’s much more enjoyable to watch football and get paid for it, and far more enjoyable to make a mistake and not have an entire fan base give you a gypsy curse.

Opening the foray of coaching changes, and being in the first spot in the coaching carousel, the Bills fired head coach Dick Jauron. They promoted their defensive coordinator to interim head coach, I suppose because he was the only coach left.

In working hard to destroy what has been build, the Bungles signed ostracized running back Larry Johnson as a 4^th string insurance policy. Yeah right, like Johnson’s going to happily live with that status for long. I can’t wait for that cancer to destroy the locker room.

Mean Joe Greene and Tommy Okon received Clio awards for their famous 1979 Coca Cola commercial. Still is one of the greatest commercials ever.

Russell Crowe was in attendance of the Bungles/Steelers game Sunday, taking a break from the film he is working on in the Pittsburgh area. Unfortunately, he did not unleash hell on the Bungles. Maybe things would have gone better for the home team had he smacked Carson Palmer upside the head with a telephone.

Seminal rock band The Who was named the halftime act for Super Bowl 44. Ok, I get it commissioner Goodell you want to avoid the Jackson/Timberlake controversy. But come on, can we get anyone who has been relevant in the last 20 years at least?

Titans’ owner Bud Adams had a blast at the Monday night game against the Texans, happily flipping the bird to Buffalo fans in attendance. I don’t even have a joke. You stay classy there Tennessee.

Seahawks head coach Jim Mora Jr. submitted a list of complaints to the league’s officiating office about calls he felt were erroneous and the state of officiating during the Seahawks/Cardinals game. First complaint, the Seahawks coach sucks.

Message to Chiefs coach Todd Haley, quit being an ass. For yet another week, cameras caught Haley corn holing another player on the sidelines, this time Matt Cassel. And this was in a game Cassel played decently and the Chiefs won. Todd, just so you know eventually players tire of these shenanigans and quit on coaches who act like that, especially if they're not successful. We get it, you're in charge. Now move on butt bag.

Apparently, the NFL competition committee is big on expanding the schedule, and looks to be leaning on making the season 18 games long. Now, I want to know how this will work from an injury stand point. Right now during 16 game seasons, almost every team is reeling from serious season ending injuries, or multiple week injuries, of key players. Look at this short list I complied.

Troy Polamalu, Kyle Orton, Jordan Gross, Michael Turner , Cedric Benson, Brian Urlacher, Kris Jenkins, Chris Henry, Marc Columbo, Ronnie Brown, Brian Westbrook, Haruki Nakamura, Joshua Cribbs, Terrell Suggs.

That list was complied off the top of my head. It could be 4 times as long. Take a gander through each team’s injury report and get a real idea of hurt players. What will happen when players must go longer, harder and open themselves up for more risk? And do you honestly think players, even if they take on the added risk of injury, players will be satisfied with their current contracts? Oh no, they’ll want more money per season to cover the added risk, which will cheese the owners off to not only have to shell out more money per player, but also eventually more money overall to cover depth needed when players go down from injury, and count on it they will. All this perceived extra profit owners think they’ll make will be tied up in additional salary and potentially lose them money. If you ask me, all this has the potential to do is get players injured, shorten careers, and create a scenario when we see a bunch of practice squad guys playing vital roles in big games because the bench is littered with injured stars. The NFL wants to protect the shield, but how is that possible by further diluting the product?

The NFL popped Chad Ochocinco with a $20,000 fine for his faux bribe of an official. Ok, I get it; they do not want any kind of association with gambling. But does it not seem odd they would smack Chad with that large a fine and only hit up Tommie Harris $7,500 for punching a guy in the head?

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

Once again, love watching my team go without a point for hours on end. Mercifully, I got to watch my opponent do exactly the same thing.

But hey, I cannot complain too much, I’m on a three week roll, have reached the wonderful .500 mark and climbing the rankings. And most importantly, I learned something new to impart this week.

The fantasy football experts who give advice on who to start and who to sit know jack squat. I know, big surprise, and I pretty much figured that one out already. But it came into sharp focus when I went to pick my kicker last week. I went with Jeff Reed, even though the experts were saying he’s no better than a spot fill in during bye weeks. What happened was 12 big points from the partying one. So the next week, the expert advice said Jeff should continue to be considered a number one fantasy option. Huh? Amazing how that status can change so rapidly.

I say ignore them and go with your own instincts. If you know football, you’ll be fine. If you’re playing because you’re in some goofy office pool, well then I suppose you can consult the experts and hope for the best. Hey, chances are everyone else in the pool will be too.

Upon Further Review

In case you missed it, and I suppose the only way that’s possible was if you were in a sensory deprivation chamber all week, Bill Belichick went for it on 4^th down and failed, leading to a painful loss at Indianapolis. The sports world was on fire this week, lambasting Belichick for making the call and losing the game. I’ve heard great argument for and against the call from Gregg Easterbrook and Bill Simmons, and feel they both have valid points. I loved the call, but not the play called itself. I think coaches should be gutsier when it comes to calling plays, but too many are too scared of getting raked over the coals if it doesn’t work. And considering how badly Belichick was, too many will be too afraid to do it again.

Not every call is going to work, whether it’s a first down run at the beginning of September or a 2 point conversion to tie the super bowl in the waning minutes. But it takes a bit of fortitude to not only take the risk, but to stand tall before the man if it does not. Was going for it right? Who knows? Maybe Manning would have marched right down the field for 80 yards and the game winner. Maybe the tired Patriot defense would have held. Maybe aliens would have come and took Peyton back to his home planet. Maybe Jim Caldwell would have moved a muscle. It’s easy to second guess, but hard to take a chance and then withstand the fury if you fail. That’s why I liked the call.

On top of liking the call for its gutsiness, I loved it more because it gave me the chance to watch Belichick twist in the wind. Just hilarious, and it couldn’t happen to a nicer jerk. I mean, if your loyal lieutenants (namely Rodney Harrison and Tedy Bruschi) are more than happy to grab a torch and head to the windmill, what does that say about the man himself?

But one three things really bothered me in the multitude of hot air expended on this topic all week.

One, the same people that filled the world with self righteous babbling and empty column space deriding the call would have fallen all over themselves proclaiming Belichick a genius and anointing him the greatest coach who ever lived if it had worked. You don’t believe me, look at how they lauded him in 2007, the screw the league season.

Two speaking of which, I’ve heard far too many people state with shocked incredulity how this call smacked of ego, arrogance, hubris and showed that Belichick does think he’s smarter than everyone else. Well duh! Is this your first Patriots game in the last 10 years? The entire 2007 was nothing but arrogance and ego. You think Belichick corn holed Joe Gibbs’ Redskins because he thought they might come back, or did he do it because he wanted to stick it to the Hall of Famer to prove a point?

And three, the national media spent an inordinate amount of time vilifying Belichick for this play call and yet said almost nothing about Browns head coach Eric Mangini’s end of the game hook and ladder call.

Cleveland Brown Joshua Cribbs, the only indispensable player on that team, was hurt badly at the end of Monday’s game on this play. Cribbs was carried off the field on a back board, but mercifully was fine and will even play this week.

But I must ask why in an unwinnable situation was this play ever called? There was no need for it since even if Cleveland scored; there was no chance to win. Even if the unlikely would have occurred and the Browns scored, it would have only reduced the margin of defeat by 7 points. There was absolutely no need for such chicanery. The only reason for this play, which only resulted in your best, and only good, player getting potentially grievously hurt, was to avoid the shut out and not have that on Mangini’s resume for his end of the season review.

Everyone has been happy calling Belichick’s call as a blunder, boneheaded even the worst call ever, yet nary a peep has been made about Mangini’s call, one obviously made only to make the coach look marginally better, although at this point I strain to see how that is even possible. This is far worse than Belichick’s, as while Bill’s play call may have come from hubris and ego at least he did it in a fleeting attempt to try a strategy that would give his team the win. Eric’s play call came finding a way to save his own fat can, and a willingness to risk the safety and well being of his players for no other reason.

I say shame on the national sports media for focusing on Belichick’s call and not jumping up and down on Mangini for this completely unnecessary and dangerous call. If you can get worked up into lather about Belichick going for the throat, and not Mangini trying to avoid the unemployment line then for shame and perhaps you need to reexamine why you cover the NFL, what you know about football and how you live your life because if you spend that much time getting upset about a 4^th down call to win and not a meaningless play that put people in danger, you’re priorities are out of whack.

He Said He Said

“I don't want to give anybody bulletin board material, but I do believe it was [former NFL head coach Herman Edwards]: We play to win the game. Period. So, we're going on the road to play a football game, and we're gonna win. I don't care what you say. People can print in the paper, they can send it to the team's we're playing. But they know just like we know, we're going to win the game.” - Seahawks wide receiver Nate Burleson

That is mighty big talk from a man who did not have one single catch, nor did his team win. How come I didn’t know about this? If I did, I would have horribly avoided starting him in fantasy. Obviously, he jinxed his team.

"Offensively, we...we...I played bad." – Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger

Well, yeah. Thanks for owning up to it big guy, just don’t do it again.

"All in all, I hated the call. It smacked of I'm-smarter-than-they-are hubris." SI.com’s Peter King on Belichick’s 4^th and 2 play call

You’re dead on balls accurate Peter. But one question for you, have you not seen a Belichick coached team before? Heck the entire 2007 season was I’m smarter than everyone hubris.

"She always took care of us. She was a second mom to a lot of guys.'' – Bengals cornerback Jonathan Joseph on Vikki Zimmer, wife of defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer who passed away suddenly in October

Finding motivation for men who get highly paid is always difficult. But when a close knit group of guys lose someone close to them like Vikki, feel that pain and see how much it hurts Mike, they’ll move heaven and earth for their coach. And so far, they have.

"Cincinnati out-defensed Pittsburgh in Pittsburgh.'' – NBC’s Tony Dungy

And to think I thought I was finished throwing up for the week.

"I love the way Al [Davis] runs the team. People give Al a lot of grief, but Al is an old AFL guy. The NFL tried to bury the AFL for years, and finally when the AFL caught up and was about to pass these guys, a couple of owners took the league and tried to merge behind Al's back. So he has been an outlaw ever since. He is going to do it his way; he has won three championships his way, and I love how the Raiders are run.''- Rapper Ice Cube, who is making a film about the Raiders

Let me guess, the film’s called Tales from the Crypt: The Crypt Keeper takes a cruise on the Titanic.

"I thought we could get the 2 yards." – Patriots head coach Bill Belichick

And you were wrong.

“Bill Belichick is, maybe, the best coach ever in the NFL. In fact, currently, I'm not even sure there's a close second.” – ESPN’s David Fleming

Uhhh, really David? Let’s see, Belichick built a team that won three Super Bowls, the same as Bill Walsh (who’s handiwork also led to two more Super Bowls) and Joe Gibbs, only one more Super Bowl win than his mentor Bill Parcells, Jimmy Johnson, Vince Lombardi (who won multiple NFL championships on top of the Super Bowls, the same as Paul Brown) and Don Shula. But it’s still one less trophy than acquired by Chuck Noll. Perhaps any of those gentlemen would prefer to argue your point on the best coach ever.

Idiot of the week

Stupid abounded from all angles this week. But there is only one pure idiot, and after he raised his dumb guy flag, I knew this week’s battle for this coveted award was over.

Perhaps it’s just me, but lately it seems much discussion in this space is reserved for guys making dirty hits after the play. Much like I railed on Tommie Harris last week for punching a cat after the play, we now bestow the dishonor of idiot upon yet another player throwing a punch, Steelers outside linebacker James Harrison.

By the point in the Sunday’s game James lost his cool, the Bungles needed no additional help. While their offense was not exactly lighting the world on fire, they were moving the ball and converting third downs to keep their drive alive. And yet there was Harrison being the good division neighbor and giving the Bungles 15 yards and a fresh set of downs plus allowing Cincinnati to continue their final drive and wick yet more precious time off the clock. I know Harrison plays angry and you want a certain level of that from your defensive personnel. But more than anything you want your players to play smart, and punching a guy after the play in front of officials is far from smart.

"I didn't care nothing about that at the time" - Harrison on the punch and the possible consequences

Well James you should have. No man is above the team and James certainly acted like that. Yeah, it's frustrating to get beat physically as the Bungles did to the Steelers all the live long day. Yeah, that guy shouldn't have shoved Harrison after the play. But punching him in the head in retaliation never helps. If you want to stop that behavior from your opponent you gird up, man up, and whip his fanny on the next play. Get him back by making him look like a chump, instead of being suckered into being his fool. And like Harris last week, Harrison should have been booted from the game. Why he was not I do not know, but the crimes were the same and so should have been the punishment.

So, for committing a spectacularly dumb penalty at a critical moment, allowing the opposition’s offense to stay on the field and ultimately score again, which drastically changed the end game, not thinking of consequences of your actions and letting someone get the best of you whilst you focused on some personal affront instead of your team’s chances at victory by punching a dude in the head, an infantile reaction at best and criminal at worst, James Harrison you are an idiot.

Taking the Week Off

With the conclusion of bye weeks last week, this beloved feature shutters its doors for another season. But fear not faithful fan, very soon 24 teams will be taking every week off, and you can enjoy their off season antics until the humid days of summer are upon us once again. Until then, let’s play ball.

On Tap This Week

I pushed the envelope too far. Just call me Icarus. I’m still having trouble believing I backed Andy Reid on the road, but what was I to do? He was going against Norv Turner. I love that I took a chance on KC that paid off greatly, but every team that should have won, well, were real happy to just show me how well they poop.

Last week: 8-7

This week:

Season to date: 100-44

Whatever touch I had during the first half of the season has left me strung up and naked. And it’s getting cold. My 3 point lead from Thursday night is gone and has become a 2 point deficit. And now I’m fighting to reclaim my top spot.

The real shame was I felt good about my picks. At least it was not a losing record for the week. Whoops, there’s the jinx for this week! Oh well, nothing left to do but get up, dust myself off and go after it again.

Sunday

Pittsburgh (6-3) at Kansas City (2-7)

You think Big Ben will take his frustrating day last week out on KC? Yeah, me too.

Steelers over Chiefs

Indianapolis (9-0) at Baltimore (5-4)

Shame on me for doubting Peyton. I know, it looked like I might have made the right call for a while, but I forgot one tiny factoid. Indianapolis has won 6 of 7 against the Patriots including last Sunday. Dumb. But I will not make that mistake again.

Colts over Ravens

Atlanta (5-4) at New York Giants (5-4)

Atlanta on the road, reeling and without Michael Turner against a rested New York squad who has been working tirelessly to stop the bleeding and getting desperate. Yeah, not feeling comfortable with that scenario.

Giants over Falcons

New Orleans (9-0) at Tampa Bay (1-8)

I’m not getting off this train to the Big Easy, not once until we hit Mardi gras.

Saints over Buccaneers

Buffalo (3-6) at Jacksonville (5-4)

Ok, who’s left to steer the Buffalo ship? I say promote TO, or at least let him self promote, it’s all they have left.

Jaguars over Bills

Cleveland (1-8) at Detroit (1-8)

Ugh.

Lions over Browns

Washington (3-6) at Dallas (6-3)

Unless Washington can knock Romo out of this game, what hope do they have?

Cowboys over Redskins

Seattle (3-6) at Minnesota (8-1)

Please.

Vikings over Seahawks

San Francisco (4-5) at Green Bay (5-4)

Well, I suppose I should not give up entirely on the Pack just yet. But can Aaron Rodgers avoid the rush again this week long enough for some magic?

Packers over 49ers

Arizona (6-3) at St. Louis (1-8)

A good potential upset, since St. Louis did give the Saints a few fits last week. But I’ll take the Cardinals, for no other reason than they should win.

Cardinals over Rams

New York Jets (4-5) at New England (6-3)

The Jets are dead to me. I do not care what they do to this point. They could fall off a cliff and I shed not tear one for them. Perhaps that’s a bit harsh, but come now. There is talent all over that team. And if everyone from the head coach down loves to have their mouths write checks, their fannies had best be able to cash them.

Patriots over Jets

Cincinnati (7-2) at Oakland (2-7)

Well, the Raiders have benched JaMarcus Russell, potentially for the season. Not sure what good that will do now, or would have done in September. But hey, at least it gives the team a few paragraphs of press in a section other than the police blotter.

Bungles over Raiders

San Diego (6-3) at Denver (6-3)

Ok, another week, another big game for division supremacy. Yawn it's getting boring I mean, what are we starting a playoff push or something? Ok, fine enough horsing around. What to do with this game. I suppose I’m a glutton for punishment. I’ll take Norv Turner on the road to win.

Chargers over Broncos

Philadelphia (5-4) at Chicago (4-5)

What am I supposed to do? Philadelphia is killing me, yet I know if I go against them, they’ll win. I should pick them just to jinx their terrible selves and hopefully get Andy Reid his much deserved pink slip. But backing Cutler? Ugh that’s even worse. I hate myself.

Eagles over Bears

Monday

Tennessee (3-6) at Houston (5-3)

Good pick for Monday Night ESPN. No wonder you’re ratings stink. Who’s watching this other than Bud Adams’ fingers?

Titans over Texans

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 11 Thursday Night Special

2009-11-19T18:00:00.000-08:00

Wasn’t last weeks Cutler interception-fest just lovely? I suppose it was, if only for the schadenfreude angle regarding Cutler and the foolish Bears who love him. From a pure football standpoint, though, yuck. Obviously, the NFLN hand picks only the best games for their weekly showcase. How could they possibly top that? Oh right.

I suppose if Joey Porter decides to find a bank of reporters somewhere this week, there could be a certain level of excitement and entertainment heading into the match up. But other than that, who’s really excited about this game? I mean, it’s not even in South Florida where we might see Mark Anthony and J-Lo. Oooh the star studded Dolphins ownership!

Ok, I know at one point in his post football career, Matt Millen was considered a sharp mind when it came to football knowledge. He could accurately break down a game, point out blocks and strategies that most people would miss but are crucial to successful plays and his insider knowledge of the league helped spread the knowledge of football to the fans. And I’m willing to go so far as to say Millen probably is still retains much of that knowledge and observational talent that elevated him once before to be considered a general manager candidate.

But at this point, remembering the horrific job he did at deconstructing the Lions even further into the depths of awful, can you really take him with anything but a grain of salt? Even if he is correct in his analysis, I cannot take what he says seriously. Is his reputation from his time in Detroit so damaged that he cannot be taken seriously as a knowledgeable football mind? There’s something to gnaw on as tonight’s events unfold. Just listen to him, and tell me if you take him seriously or believe him at all, or find yourself arguing with him even though he may be right. I’m curious if he’s too far gone to last in the booth.

On Tap Tonight

Miami (4-5) at Carolina (4-5)

Miami has no downfield threat. Carolina does, but they also have Jake Delhomme. But, John Fox finally remembered he has a wicked good running game, one that does not rely on goofy stunts. Plus, Carolina handled a pretty good running team at home last week. Couple that with the Dolphins losing wildcat triggerman Ronnie Brown for the season with a foot injury and I like the Panthers tonight. 3 yards and a cloud of dust dominate all.

Now watch, Carolina will be unable to stop the run and make Ricky Williams look like he’s running in 2002.

Panthers over Dolphins

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 10

2009-11-15T07:57:00.000-08:00

I’ve determined if anything could trump my distaste for Favre vs. Packers hype it’s Patriots vs. Colts hype. So who’s playing this week? Oh crap.

Opening Kickoff

Now, how much joy did you get watching Jay Cutler melt down Thursday night? Admit it, it’s ok. You don’t have to be a Bronco fan to love it. I’m sorry, but the man may have a big arm, but he is no leader. You can tell by the way he carries himself onto the field and off of it. Would you follow a guy who carries himself like someone just took away his favorite blankie? Me either. And he just looks like no matter what happens, he doesn’t care. I’m not saying if you have a bad game to throw a tantrum like Tom Brady. But if Peyton Manning has a bad game and you see him on the sidelines, you can tell it bothers him. Jay looks like he’s only concerned if his extra chin gets pinched in his chin strap.

The Way It Was

You know I love Joey Porter. I mean, the man has no qualms about running his mouth at an opponent, and it’s always entertaining. However, if you trash talk an opponent, you best back it up. Joey had no issues ripping on the Patriots, but in the actual game he recorded no tackles, no assists, no sacks, no passes defended, and no fumbles forced or recovered. Joey, where’d ya go when the microphones went away?

Wow, big surprise Andy Reid got outcoached in a big game with big ramifications. Come on Andy, you have to try for the end zone once in a while, field goals alone do not win games. Fortune favors the bold, which probably explains your NFC championship game record.

Easily the most maddening teams must be the Eagles and Cardinals. I wonder each week who will show up, Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. One week they get pounded, the next they explode. Grrrr.

Wow, the Cardinals let Matt Leinart play for one down and he promptly threw an interception. And now, the starting quarterback for the Las Vegas Locomotives, Matt Leinart!

The Cardinals deactivated Anquan Boldin for the Bears game due to an ankle injury, yet no one apparently told him until he found uniform removed from his locker. You think that might just happen one day except everything will be gone?

Hmmm, Chris Chambers looks pretty good as a Chief. Might have to tuck that knowledge away for future use, like this week.

Oh, so that's Vince Young. Right I forgot.

Hmmm, I guess the Ravens defense is only good after a week off now. What a shame they do not have anymore weeks off.

Wow, look, Tampa Bay found a quarterback. Now they only need…well everything else.

The Bungles lost Chris Henry for the season with a broken forearm. At least they’ll have something to use as an excuse when they collapse.

Why did the umpire in the Eagles/Cowboys game have little black pom poms on his hat?

I have a question. How can Asante Samuel get flagged for taunting after the play, when both he and Marion Barber, the alleged tauntee, were laughing afterwards? It doesn’t seem to make sense.

Steve Mariucci stated, in discussing the Bears loss to the 49ers, that eventually Jay Cutler will be a superstar quarterback. Is that not the argument that has been used since Cutler’s first game? This is now his 4^th season in the NFL. At some point, eventually must turn into now, and I just do not see it.

The Steel Pit

Steelers 28 – Broncos 10

I could not have been more impressed with not only the win on the road, but how the team came back from a lackluster first half.

While the defense got knocked around the entire first half, they clamped down the second half and after one score and never allowed Denver another offensive score.

The offense, after starting off sluggish and out of rhythm, exploded in the second half for three touchdowns. Easily my favorite had to have been after Big Ben was stripped on a sack and Denver returned it for a defensive touchdown. Ben drove the offense 80 yards in 4 plays for the go ahead touchdown. Spectacular and I request more of that this week.

I loved Brett Keisel giving the mile high salute after a sack of Orton. Although I bet Bronco fans didn't though.

Steelers coach Mike Tomlin is now 5-0 on Monday Night Football.

I have nothing particularly special to say this week. The team looks like it’s really starting to come together, and reach its potential. And if they do, the rest of the NFL should look out. Everyone seems to forget that no matter how great the Colts, Patriots, Bungles or anyone else is, Pittsburgh is still the defending champion. They have not, and look like they feel it’s their duty to remind everyone each week. You can color me excited about that prospect.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

So in looking up some Jeff Reed stuff a few weeks ago, I stumbled upon one of my new favorite websites. Go ahead, check it out, its hilariously addictive and will cause you to ask, do I look that stupid when I go out and party? The answer is a drunken heck yeah! And try to tell me honestly you don’t bust out laughing at the picture of Reed with a bride to be sash on.

Ok, fine, we get it, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning will have a show down this week in Indianapolis. I might actually be slightly more interested if A) we didn’t have this shoved down our throats for the past 7 years B) either team had one the championship in the past two (quick who’s the current defending champion and no they do not play on Sunday night this week) and C) if they actually took the field at the same time and really did have to compete head to head. This storyline is beginning to get as tiresome as Yankees vs. Red Sox. Shocking that two Boston teams are involved in two of the most over-hyped and annoying rivalries in sports.

Texans safety Bernard Pollard, yes that Pollard, had two picks last week in a losing cause against the Colts. But Pollard, who has helped the Texans secondary greatly, seems to be overcoming more than just a change of address from Kansas City. According to Jason Whitlock, Pollard told him Herm Edwards had to call teams, including the Texans, and assuage fears raised from information disseminated by Scott Pioli and Todd Haley after they cut Pollard. Do you just wonder if Pioli did it because of the Tom Brady injury?

Speaking of the Chiefs, they finally wised up and cut ties with underachieving and over insulting malcontent Larry Johnson. Now, this is a smart move just for the type of person Johnson has shown himself to be. But let’s be honest, if he were anything approaching the player he was in 2006, the Chiefs would have sent him to counseling and found a way to smooth everything over. But results trump all.

In weirder Johnson news, rumors have swirled that the erstwhile running back may sign with the Steelers. Yeah right. Why would a team with four good to great running backs pick up a lazy, foul mouthed, woman beating malcontent who doesn’t block and is long past is best years, despite his age? This is more detestable than the Michael Vick to Pittsburgh rumors. Yes, kids it is worse to beat on women than kill dogs. I just know ranking Johnson as more repugnant than Vick will get the Vick haters fired up.

Redskins’ cornerback DeAngelo Hall got into a scrum with Falcons head coach Mike Smith after Hall’s teammate LaRon Landry laid a late hit on Falcon’s quarterback Matt Ryan. Smith has been subsequently fined for the altercation and Hall still looks like a fool.

ESPN’s Rick Reilly has had a mission recently to bring to light the increasingly restricted and ever dwindling experience of tailgating. Rick is attempting to rally the troops to not let this tradition be shackled quietly. Rick, you’re fighting a losing battle here. Tailgating is being restricted for obvious reasons, to lessen liability. And come on, lawyers always trump fun.

Ben Roethlisberger had an interview on ESPN’s E:60, where he talked about his first few seasons in the league, the sexual assault case against him and why he’s fighting back to protect his name and life as a Steeler. I find it interesting he felt he was a bad teammate his first few years and has worked hard to change that. I also find it very interesting that at the point he started to change, his game became unbelievably good.

The previous week before the Bungles showdown with the Ravens, the wacky Chad Ochocinco send deodorant to the Ravens secondary, so they would not sweat going up against him. This week, Chad wanted to send a case of mustard to the Steelers defensive backs because they could not “ketch-up” to him. Marvin Smith talked him out of that one. Why Marvin? Mustard goes great on a “hot dog”.

In more Ochocinco news, jeez I may have to start a new section just for him; Chad attempted to “bribe” an official during the game. The call was going to be on Chad and he lingered around the officials with a dollar bill in his hand. Now, I’ve heard about this from almost every angle, how it’s fun, not fun, disrespectful, sends the wrong message, was it planned and if so why would he commit a penalty like that on purpose, blah blah blah. Why is no one asking the most pertinent question? Where exactly did he keep the dollar?

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

Hold the phone, don’t keep the champagne on ice and let’s start the celebration early! Despite going up against an opponent with some stellar Steelers on his roster, and despite those same Steelers playing magnificently, I still managed to win my showdown! That marks two straight weeks of winning. Wow, I feel like a champion. I wonder what it will feel like if I ever should reach .500? Must be bliss.

Well, it’s helped that lately my big guns, the players I got assigned after missing the draft, finally started playing consistently huge as advertised. Even better, the ones not advertised are chipping in big time. Boy, winning sure is fun. Although this week, I’m sure I’ll get pasted.

I must admit at this point I’m not learning as much as I have at the beginning of the season. I saw two cats trade their entire wide receiving corps and still cannot figure out why. But hey, it’s an enjoyable sideline thus far, now that I’ve learned to take it with the grain of salt it deserves. The Lady K would agree.

Upon Further Review

One of the ever growing stories on the periphery of the NFL right now is the link between on field injuries and concussions and the long term impact multiple concussions causes in players post game lives. The NFL is playing duck and dodge with this issue, because if more attention was paid to this, and they needed to make serious changes as to how policy goes on teams and in the league in general, it could drastically change how the game is played, and how teams are built with players. Actually many of the ramifications I can think of without being an insider on this discussion are somewhat mind boggling. But that is a discussion for another day.

Also for another day are the specific numbers, studies and congressional hearings that have come forth in recent months and years. Others with more access and a better skill with a pen have properly captured this issue, and I shant attempt to rehash their work. But what I would like to address today is one key component to the argument about this issue. The largest obstacle those who work to lessen and eliminate the dangers of concussions face is the an attitude that either these things happen or only a wimp would let such a thing sideline them put forth from the NFL as a whole and players in particular. And overcoming this attitude may be the one thing that makes actual progress toward real change.

Proponents to change use studies and medical evidence to push for widespread usage of better helmets now available, mandatory bench time after a concussion, better diagnosis on the field and treatment afterward. But players know that they are one snap away from possibly being replaced. They want to get back on the field as soon as possible to show they are the man for that job and no one else. Leads to a dangerous situation where they make themselves more susceptible to further injury and a shortened career.

While this seems counterintuitive on the surface, why would you risk shortening your career in order to play today, it happens. And it’s justified by players looking at concussions as, they happen, it’s a violent game, what are you gonna do? Writing a guest column for Sports Illustrated this week, Steelers linebacker LaMarr Woodley touched upon the issue of concussions. Woodley stated amongst other items that,

“No matter how many rules or equipment changes you have, I just don't think you can eliminate concussions from the game.”

This very attitude, which displays ignorance, acceptance of status quo and resistance to change, is at the core of the hindrances facing the problem. If players just accept these things as a fact of life, and do not open themselves to new treatments, new equipment or new ideas, yes concussions will always be a part of the game. And most likely, part of many players post game lives.

But perhaps worse than a lack of knowledge is the manly man attitude that just because you got your bell rung doesn’t mean you should sit out. In last week’s action, Redskins running back Clinton Portis suffered a concussion and did not return. During the NFL Network post game show, Deion Sanders, a man I already have issues with, set forth mocking Portis for sustaining the injury. This reckless behavior causes these testosterone fueled competitors to not only want to prove the idiot commenting wrong, thus rushing back too soon and risking further injury and debilitation, but also causes other players quietly suffering to keep their mouth shut in fear of being labeled weak. Yes, it’s juvenile, stupid and ridiculous but it happens. No one wants to show weakness in front of an opponent, and with attitudes like Sanders’ prevailing, many players look upon such things as showing weakness.

Look, you have to be a tough guy to play in the NFL. No argument there. But this isn’t some old school thing where you tape it up, rub dirt on it or walk it off. Long term consequences include dementia, early onset of Alzheimer’s disease, memory loss, seizures and premature death. Just ask Mike Webster’s family how bad things can get.

I know NFL players feel they could lose their spot in the line up, and no one wants to be perceived as weak. But a smart coach will know who is the best on the field and will not forget it injury or no. I mean, Bob Sanders always seems to be wrecking a knee or pulling something, yet he still gets his spot back in the line up when healthy. And the true sign of a strong man is one willing to stand up and say no, I am not right, in the face of those too short sighted to see the big picture.

He Said He Said

"Let me start out by saying that I'm responsible for all of the decisions that are made with our football team. The [red] zone decisions are my responsibility. They are nobody else's. No one else made a mistake. The quarterback did not make a mistake. The decision was mine.'' - Giants head coach Tom Coughlin after the Giants 4^th consecutive loss

Very admirable falling on the sword Tom, I always dig a cat with a buck stops here mentality. However the question remains, just how do you turn into this wave and break through?

I officially declare Patriots-Colts Hype Week kicked off. – SI.com’s Peter King

I officially declare myself nauseous.

"Well, there's times when I think I'm open, and I wish I'd get the ball. But I'm not Tony. And I have no idea what he's going through back there. Usually he's got some 300-pound guy back there chasing him, trying to rip his head off. So no, I don't get too upset by that. Right now, we've got a good thing going. Guys are making plays when they're called.'' - Dallas receiver Miles Austin

Wait a minute, a humble receiver with common sense? Is that one of the seven signs of the apocalypse?

"I stay in Atlanta during the offseason, so if Mike Smith wants to see me, he can definitely find me." – Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall in response to his scrum with Falcons head coach Mike Smith

I guess Hall has gotten tired of getting beat by guys his own age and wants to try a new way to get humiliated.

"Not much I can do about it, and I'm pretty used to it by now. But it does piss me off. If I was a dirty player, would my coach [Mike Tomlin] tell me, 'Don't change a thing you do?'” – Steelers receiver Hines Ward on the subject of being voted the NFL’s dirtiest player.

Hmmm, I thought Hines took this with a grain of salt, but it seems to have cheesed him off. Wait, a cheesed off Hines scored two touchdowns last week…. Hey Hines, you smell and your mama dresses you funny too! That ought to be good for at least one touchdown.

"We didn't let 'em off the hook." - Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt wrapping up his postgame press conference with a slap to the microphone

Brilliant, no words are necessary.

"I just work here. If Jake's the guy, Jake's the guy. It's not my call." – Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith

Yeah, that makes me soooo want to believe in Carolina. Bad times are a coming.

"We're legit. The tape doesn't lie. That's our whole thing is to earn respect. We don't care if we're underdogs. At the end of the day, our job is to make you or whoever is out there a believer." – Bungles safety Chris Crocker

You tell ‘em Chris. LEAVE CARSON ALONE! (I cannot be the only one who made the Chris Crocker connection, can I? Or am I just that behind the times?)

Idiot of the week

Hmmm, who could possibly be the idiot this week….

Could it be DeAngelo Hall for picking a fight with Mike Smith? Could be, that is pretty dumb getting into a scuffle with the opposing teams head coach. But it’s not.

Could it be Deion Sanders for scoffing at Clinton Portis after he suffered a concussion? Could be, but Sanders seems to enjoy the taste of foot, so I’ll let him pass.

Oh I know, Bears defensive lineman Tommie Harris.

Harris, in all his brilliance, took out his early frustration last week against the Cardinals by punching Cardinal guard Deuce Lutui in the head. I argued the last few weeks that players can sometimes deliver hits or blows in the heat and speed of the moment they normally would not. But this does not fall in that category. It occurred after the play and Harris obviously was trying to make a point. I suppose the point was look at how dumb I am. Point duly noted. Now, this was bad enough, but what made it worse was it was 64 seconds into the game so how frustrated could he be.

Compounding his stupidity, Harris performed said moronic act right in front of Ed Hochuli, and we all know you just don’t mess with Ed. Even Chuck Norris has yet to mess with Big Guns Hochuli.

Ed of course tossed Harris, and the Bears defense had to play the remainder of the game short handed on the line. With less pressure coming at him, Kurt Warner eviscerated the Bears defense on the way to a rout.

So Tommie, for bone headedly punching a guy, and doing it in front of Ed Hochuli, getting tossed from the game and leaving your teammates to pick up the slack from your stupid move, you are an idiot.

Taking the Week Off

Giants – And boy do they need it. At the very least, it will take an extra week to pull the slings and arrows out of Coughlin that he absorbed taking responsibility.

Texans – There’s not enough salve in the world to dissipate the sting of losing a close one to the Colts. Although taping kicker Kris Brown to the goalposts for a few days may help.

On Tap This Week

Well, last week was not so great. But this week has started off on the right track.

Last week: 8-5

This week: 1-0

Season to date: 93-37

Thanks to last week turning out decent, despite me monkeying with my picks at the last minute, again, and a good start to this week I still hold the top spot. Now, let’s see if I can once again avoid screwing that up.

Sunday

Detroit (1-7) at Minnesota (7-1)

Yeah right. This might be AP’s big day, the one missing for a while now.

Vikings over Lions

Tampa Bay (1-7) at Miami (3-5)

If Tampa Bay does not win in regular uniforms, will they go back to the creamsicle specials? I hope so, because despite being in the minority on this I think they’re sweet.

Dolphins over Buccaneers

Buffalo (3-5) at Tennessee (2-6)

Hmmm, I wonder what the top running back in the league will do this time.

Titans over Bills

New Orleans (8-0) at St. Louis (1-7)

Drew Brees will be chowing on a po’ boy by halftime.

Saints over Rams

Jacksonville (4-4) at New York Jets (4-4)

Ok, the Jets have had a week to think about what they’ve done. But will it be enough to contain a burgeoning Jax team? I hope so.

Jets over Jaguars

Denver (6-2) at Washington (2-6)

Now this will be the salve that stops a two game losing streak.

Broncos over Redskins

Cincinnati (6-2) at Pittsburgh (6-2)

Despite what you may have heard, this is the real game of the week. A grudge match game between bitter rivals with the division on the line. Now one more time with feeling Joey, who dey say gonna beat dem Bengals?

Steelers over Bungles

Atlanta (5-3) at Carolina (3-5)

I’m sorry, I know Carolina has played better, but I just do not trust them when there’s a chance Delhomme could be called upon to save the day.

Falcons over Panthers

Kansas City (1-7) at Oakland (2-6)

And now, the game that no one watched. The Chiefs have now added a good wide receiver and jettisoned a locker room cancer. I’m going to go out on a limb here.

Chiefs over Raiders

Dallas (6-2) at Green Bay (4-4)

I want to pick Green Bay. I really do. I want to believe in them. I know they need this so badly. But after last week, how can I trust them?

Cowboys over Packers

Seattle (3-5) at Arizona (5-3)

Ok, I’m going to cautiously predict that the Arizona team that trampled the Bears will show up, and not the one that laid a turd against the Panthers. But your guess is as good as mine as to which team takes the field.

Cardinals over Seahawks

Philadelphia (5-3) at San Diego (5-3)

Speaking of bipolar teams, ladies and gentlemen your 2009 Philadelphia Eagles! Here’s how I picked this one. San Diego barely beat the Giants. Philadelphia dissected the Giants. Therefore the Eagles are better than the Chargers. If you have a better way of figuring out this team, go right ahead. Because the only other way I know, choose between head coaches, has me stymied. I mean, how do you pick the worse coach between Andy Reid and Norv Turner? It’ll be moronic challenges, ill advised timeouts and nimrod level play calling for three hours. NFL fever, catch it!

Eagles over Chargers

New England (6-2) at Indianapolis (8-0)

Remember way back at the beginning of the season when I said Tom Brady would not look good until the middle of the season when he was surer of his knee? And how does Tom look now? Yeah I thought so. And how will Tom look against a weak Colt secondary? Yeah, I thought so too. The real question is, will Peter King’s head explode on Football Night In America in joyous anticipation.

Patriots over Colts

Monday

Baltimore (4-4) at Cleveland (1-7)

The Browns will be starting Brady Quinn at quarterback. Yeah, that’ll help. Finally the Baltimore defense will have an opportunity to look good.

Ravens over Browns

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 10 Thursday Night Special

2009-11-12T16:06:00.000-08:00

We’ve reached the point in the season where the Thursday night game has been restored. Yes, some may say this is the beginning of Thursday night games, but come now. I remember one way back in the beginning of September. There was a big amount of hoopla surrounding it too, if I recall.

Regardless, I’m a might confused as to the start this year. Perhaps my memory fails me, but did they not begin again on Thanksgiving previously? I suppose Tuesday Morning Quarterback would just include this in his Universal Theory of Creep.

Nonetheless, we now have three scrumptious days of NFL action on which to indulge, and never more than two consecutive days without a game. My cup runneth over.

And with this game, a return of NFL game coverage on the NFL Network. This season, since Cris Collinsworth nabbed the sweet gig on Sunday Night Football, Bob Papa will be teamed with Matt Millen. Wouldn’t it be fun to have Bryant Gumbel and Millen in the same booth? Imagine that pairing.

So with a game scheduled before Sunday, I give this tasty early pick, a sort of appetizer before the main course. And who doesn’t love appetizers?

On Tap Tonight

Chicago (4-4) at San Francisco (3-5)

NFLN keeps pimping the Singletary facing his old team storyline. Sure there’s a compelling side to this angle, as Singletary had a Hall of Fame career as the Bears middle linebacker in a legendary defense. And that defense brought the Bears their only Super Bowl victory. But when was the last time Mike was intimately associated with Chicago? It’s not like they parted ways acrimoniously so there’s some revenge factor involved, nor are Chicago and San Francisco natural division rivals either. I suppose some ridiculous angle must be exploited to hype a game between two teams who do not have winning records.

San Francisco started off wild, with a 3-1 record and seemingly gunning for the division. After that, four straight losses although they did face some fierce competition. Regardless, if you want to be a team on the rise, you must deliver.

Chicago, well they have Jay Cutler, they must be 8-0 right? No? How is that even possible? He’s the greatest quarterback of all time right? By the items I read, you would think Jay has won the Super Bowl in every season he’s played. What, he hasn’t? I don’t understand. I thought by what people were saying of his greatness, that Denver made the dumbest move in the history of the universe in letting this charming, personable and intelligent young man find fame and fortune elsewhere. Yeah, I’m still not buying the Cutler hype.

Ok, I’m not a real big fan of either team. But I am a fan of Singletary and how he gets his boys ready. If he had just a few more key people, he might have something there. But even without, I think this is a good time for them to break their losing streak.

49ers over Bears

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 9

2009-11-08T08:10:00.000-08:00

Yeah, there was only one game last week. And yeah, you’ll hear about it here as well, but I promise to mix in some other interesting things, I swear. Just suck it up a little more, power through a little bit about the great Brett Favre, and then maybe we can all get on with our lives. Boy I hope so.

Opening Kickoff

In preparation for their game against the Patriots this week, Dolphin linebacker and all around great quote Joey Porter sounded off that Tom Brady has his own special rules, his natural hate for the Patriots and how he still feels their cheaters. Boy I love Joey.

The Way It Was

I think after all that has happened Brett Favre finally got how Packer fans felt. As he strode onto the field for the Vikings first offensive series, the boos cascaded down upon him. Now, Brett gave a little wink to the sidelines, but his face betrayed his true emotions. His face, at least to me, read yes, this hurts more than I imagined. It looked like at that moment, he got it. And that’s all I ever wanted. Now everyone can get some peace.

Brad Childress, are you a head coach or a drive thru worker? What was with that head set?

Wow, the 49ers gave the Colts a wild ride. A little too wild, since the Colts lost starting linebacker Tyjuan Hagler for the season with a ruptured biceps. That just sounds painful.

Neck beard, where did you go?

Ok, Derrick Mason, you had a point. You were absolutely held. But going off like a bomb at the referee, then continuing the nonsense on the sideline and walking back out onto the field and needing to be restrained by your coach? Get a grip. Bad calls happen, deal with them.

Rams safety James Butler made a crucial interception against the Lions in the end zone, proceeded to run out of the end zone, got bottled up, ran back into said end zone and was promptly sacked for a safety. Gee, I wonder why St. Louis stinks.

What goes up must go down. The Texans lost tight end Owen Daniels for the season. Unfortunately, Daniels was their second leading receiver. So much for that over .500 record dreams.

Obviously Miles Austin is taking this opportunity as a starting wide receiver seriously and focusing solely on the job at hand. Because that was the worst dunk over the crossbar I’ve ever seen. Come on Miles, even Spud Webb could get to the rim and dude was five foot nothing!

Forgive me, but I forgot where I read this and cannot give proper credit but it’s too good to pass up. The Raiders defense, on average, gives up 100 more yards rushing, per game, than the Steelers defense. Bwha ha ha ha ha ha!

Jay Cutler got into a jawing match during Sunday’s game with Cleveland defensive coordinator Rob Ryan. What, you can only talk smack to older, fat guys now Jay? What a d-bag.

The Steel Pit

With no game last week, the Steeler front has been rather quiet. Actually except for the calf injury Travis Kirschke is working through, and most likely will miss Monday night’s game because of, there really has been only one pertinent topic of discussion. That, of course, is the status of Ryan Clark for Monday night’s game in Denver.

In case you did not know, two years ago Clark and the Steelers played in Denver. The overexertion at high altitude combined the sickle cell trait and another ailment, caused Clark to become alarmingly sick and at points close to dying. Doctors were able to figure out what was wrong, but only after Clark lost over 30 pounds and had to have is spleen and gall bladder removed. Clark missed the remainder of the season, but has come back strong ever since.

Now, with no official word late into the week, by practice reports it was obvious the Steelers would not be playing Clark Monday night. To this I say great, but why was Clark’s participation even being debated?

Look, Ryan Clark is a fierce hitter and a tough competitor. His presence on the field makes the Steelers defense so much better. But no game is worth risking your life over. From the very beginning when focus shifted to this game, the team should have just said, we love Ryan and love having him on the field. But we love having him around even more so he’s going to get an extra week off.

Tyrone Carter, the Steelers backup safety, I hope has gone up to Ryan at some point and just said, Ryan don’t worry about this we got this. You relax and prepare for next week.

Most players that have been interviewed on the subject have said Clark should sit out, so they do understand. But the organization itself should have stated as much too, ended all goofy debate and whatever competitive edge they got from shrouding the situation from the media and the Broncos. Who cares in a situation like this? It’s not like he has turf toe, it’s far more serious than that.

I mean, if you look at this from just a football perspective, which would you rather have, Ryan Clark missing for one week or the remainder of the season, or perhaps longer?

But look at it in a human perspective, this man is a friend, teammate, husband and father. Are not those things more important? I understand the competitive nature of pro athletes does not allow them to want to take a day off, no matter the reason. But at some point common sense must come into play. And now is a good time for some common sense.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

The Bears paid tribute to late Hall of Fame running back Walter Payton at halftime of their game against Cleveland on Sunday. Ahhh, Sweetness.

Fox, in their infinite wisdom, provided fans with Favre Cam during Sunday’s game. If you logged onto the Fox Sports website, you could watch a camera trained on Brett for the entire game. Just how many times can you watch a man blow snot rockets and still find it entertaining?

From the thanks but what have you done for me lately file, the Seahawks released running back Edgerrin James while the Chargers waived wide receiver Chris Chambers. If NFL teams are cutting players, so much for that economic turnaround,

From the nature abhors a vacuum department, since TO has been quiet, other receivers have been spotted acting poorly, me first and prone to sideline histrionics. Last week, the Seahawks T.J. Houshmandzadeh and, believe it or not, Dallas’ Roy Williams have been pouting lately. Williams should shut up and be glad he’s on a winning team for once and as for T.J.? Who would have ever thought someone would longingly look back at their time with the Bungles?

In a Sports Illustrated poll of 296 NFL players, Hines Ward was voted the dirtiest player in the NFL. Apparently, making your blocks and hitting defenders is now considered dirty. Perhaps the Packer offensive line should start playing dirtier too.

The NFL concluded their investigation regarding Browns running back James Davis, and found no wrongdoing on the part of the Browns. Perhaps the NFL should turn that investigative eye toward the crime being perpetrated on Browns fans for the past 10 years.

Speaking of which, in an attempt to shake things up, the Browns fired general manager George Kokinis. So, to fix things, Cleveland fired a well respected team executive with a long track record of success after less than a year on the job. Yet Eric Mangini remains employed. I think the Miz was right; the Browns are the new Lions.

Now, reports say Mangini may have a word in picking the next general manager of the Browns. Seriously? How much worse can the Browns make this situation?

Cleveland fans, at their wits end, are trying to put together a protest where fans stay out of their seats for the opening of their next home game. Sorry guys, but this will not work, mainly because most people will think this typical for a Browns game.

Not to keep beating a dead horse, but Cleveland quarterback Derek Anderson’s passer rating for the season is. 36.2. Once again, that’s for the season, not last week.

I vaguely remember stating previously, perhaps near the end of last season, that I liked how Tom Cable had the Raiders playing tough, even if they were still losing. Apparently, he plays tough off the field too. And yes, in this mea culpa I will state I feel like an ass for previously saying that. But hey, I didn’t know the guy or investigate his past. What’s the Raiders’ excuse? But seriously, how is this guy still employed, and violence is a pattern, how is there insufficient evidence that he broke his assistant’s jaw?

In further Raider pathetic news, former tight end Jeremy Brigham is accused of beating on the father, and ironically his former assistant, of one of the players on the pee wee league football team he coaches. I’m sure I’m not the only one that as soon as I saw Raiders in the article, I went, yeah that makes sense. At this point, if you heard that Al Davis had practice squad players killed and bathed in their blood, would you be shocked? Me either.

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

Dang, I won, and big! Could this be a turnaround? Could it? Could I become kid comeback? Win the last 8 games, sneak into the playoffs, reek havoc and walk away as champion? Dare I dream? Dare I hope?

Who am I up against this week? Who’s my first victim on the comeback tour? Let’s see my opponent has Tom Brady, Hines Ward and the Steelers defense….

Hmmmm. Ok, postpone the celebration. The comeback starts NEXT week.

Upon Further Review

Bad teams always seem to have a glimmer of hope, no matter how faint it may be. That maybe one thing will turn it all around, a new coach, a new player, some new mojo, something. Fans grab that one thing, hold it dear and care for it as their hopes and dreams of watching their team hoist a championship trophy rest with that one thing. Now, some fans are realistic and know their team may never be great, but that one thing can always provide hope and at least a wonderful dream.

But I wonder at this point, what hook of hope do Redskins fans have to hang their hat on? I believe the Redskins may be the worst team, with Dan Snyder the worst owner, in sports.

I know you could have an argument for other owners, including Al Davis of the Raiders. But at least there was a point when Davis was aware, alive and built a winner. Dan Snyder has never done that, and in my humble opinion never will. And at least Raider fans can hope for the day the grim reaper comes for Al, although it’s looking more and more that Davis may never die. But hope still abounds. What hope do Redskin fans have?

Fans at this point are using new ownership as their only beacon of light. But Snyder is a relatively young man in seemingly good health. Time has nothing on him right now. And why would he sell the team? While the product has become increasingly worse, the value of the franchise has only gone up. How does that even happen?

On the field, fans have close to no hope. Snyder and his deep pockets run the team like a fantasy football GM on speed, throwing money around for middling talent and never learning a lesson from past mistakes. Sure, they have some incredible talent, but none of it seems to make a difference in the outcome of games.

Now, this hurts, but the most perplexing and maddening is how Snyder keeps heaping insult on top of all of this. Here is a very brief list of some of the insults slung by Snyder

- The constant revolving door at head coach, which will soon claim another victim. This one will be ousted after hiring a bingo calling consultant to help out. Just saying that still boggles the mind.

- In the arguably worst move, Snyder felt justified in suing fans who could not pay for his absurdly priced season tickets for a sub par product. Way to garner fan support in a tough economy Dan.

- Snyder banned fan signs from FedEx Field, presumably to stop seeing himself trashed on national television.

- He also banned brown paper bags. Really?

- The team’s tailgating policy and permissions were revised, without warning to fans. Yes, brilliant move there Dan. Don’t allow fans to find enjoyment, rally together and hopefully get drunk enough to forget about the crappy team before the game. Keep them sober and surly.

- Snyder isn’t completely dumb. He at least does understand a drunken fan is a forgetful fan. He just wants to control how they consume, even if it’s in the bathroom.

- Tired of bad press, Snyder has taken criticism of his team to an infantile level, establishing a war against the Washington Post. Yup, it’s their fault you suck.

- Snyder enjoys palling around with Tom Cruise. Not that such a thing directly affects the fortunes of a team, but does it make you feel good that your owner enjoys the company of a nut?

- Even former players are blasting the team.

In what may be the most bizarre move yet, Snyder stated recently that the team has let everyone down. The team has let people down? Really Dan?

I wish I had an answer for Redskin fans, something that could be said to help them and give them hope. All I can say is, you know there are some other pretty good teams out there who are always happy to have a few good fans.

He Said He Said

''What I've done here speaks for itself,'' Favre said. ''What I was part of was awesome. That will never change.'' – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre

Now was that so hard to say something nice to Packer fans Brett?

"The NFL sort of has this blanket denial or minimizing of the fact that there may be this link [between playing football and brain injuries later in life]. And it sort of reminds me of the tobacco companies pre-nineties when they kept saying, 'Oh, there's no link between smoking and damage to your health.’ " - Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-California.), to Commissioner Roger Goodell Wednesday during his appearance before the House Judiciary Committee in Washington.

I find it a shame that this issue has dragged on so long that a House Judiciary Committee has become involved. If Goodell does not make some serious changes, and soon, this will get much worse before it gets better. If it ever does.

"This one will hurt for a couple of days, physically and mentally.'' Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers

Aaron, just head out to the parking lot, down a brat and a beer with the Packer faithful and commiserate together. Heck I bet you could find at least 5 people that would give you better protection on the line, and 10 that could put together a better game plan.

"Just noticed this on my Packers credential: It's Green Bay home game No. 4. Of course it is.'' – Los Angeles Times’ Sam Farmer Twitting from Lambeau Field Sunday.

Sam, no, it’s not game number 4. It’s game number Favre. Get it right.

"I feel bad for the fans. I feel sorry for the fans, and we're very, very appreciative of our loyal fan base. We just feel terrible. We're disappointed. We're embarrassed, and we hope to get it going soon." – Redskins owner Dan Snyder

Is this the same fans you treat worse than serfs? Oddly enough, this was not said with any hint of irony or acknowledgement that his actions alone are what prompted said quote. Dan you say self deluded? I knew you could!

“I don’t know why people want so many details about someone else’s life. I’m not sharing.” Bills linebacker Keith Ellison talking about Twitter.

Welcome Keith, to my pantheon of favorite players.

“How can I be the dirtiest player on the field, a little old wideout with no speed? I don’t know whether to be happy or mad about it?” – Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward on being voted the NFL’s dirtiest player in a Sports Illustrated poll.

Since Hines was smiling when he said this, I think the answer is happy.

“Other guys are such pansies now. When I play a guy like (Ward), I vote for that guy to go to the Pro Bowl.” Steelers’ safety Ryan Clark in response to the Sports Illustrated poll.

Hear hear, Ryan, hear hear.

"They're a great team. They'll probably contend for the Super Bowl. They have a tremendous offense, great running backs, a great quarterback, a great tight end. They are stacked across the board. I'm serious. They are great." - New York Jets linebacker Bart Scott on the Miami Dolphins

"I'm serious." – Scott, when asked if being sarcastic regarding his previous comment.

"My job is to report on what happens in the NFL. On Sunday, the story of the day in the NFL was the all-time passing leader's return to the place where he parted so bitterly in 2008. Favre played well for the second time this year against the Packers under pressurized circumstances. I wrote about it. I'm not kneeling at his feet. I'm reporting the story of the day in the NFL, interviewing the player, like him or not, who is a polarizing figure.” – SI.com’s Peter King on criticism of his Favre-centric column on Monday.

Excellent justification and I agree he was the story of the day. But come on, there’s reporting, and then there’s constant fawning and hero worship. And Peter, please lodge this somewhere in your frontal lobes, most people while recognizing how special a player Favre is, are tired of him.

“I respectfully disagree that rushing, and I mean, Fox sprinted off the Favre game, to the last two minutes of a game that was already decided (it was a 13-point game) that was being shown to about 6 percent of the country was the right idea.” – SI.com’s Peter King, responding to a readers comments that Fox was right to leave the Vikings/Packers game.

Come on Peter, we all know you were just upset you weren’t able to gaze longer at Favre. As if 3 hours glued to Favre Cam wasn’t enough for you.

Idiot of the week

Did everyone see this week’s winner on display in Green Bay this week? The camera had some great shots of him, ensconced in his own personal hell sweating, staring and fretting over defensive shifts and offensive flops. You guessed it; this week’s winner is Packers general Ted Thompson.

Oh I’ve said often blame for the Packer/Favre divorce should be spread equally, and Thompson very much deserves a heaping portion of the blame. Favre has been not so subtle with his dislike of Thompson, and how he feels Ted drove him out of town. I’m not going to debate about who’s right or wrong. To paraphrase an old saying, there are three sides to every story, one side, the other and the truth.

But Ted’s actions to shed Favre, no matter the reasoning, created an uncomfortable situation for the team and an unbearable situation for fans. What will Ted do if the Vikings do indeed win a Super Bowl with Brett under center? Obviously Favre still has the talent; if only Ted had surrounded him with some then this would be the Packers sitting at a sweet 7-1 and in control of the division. Many people have minimized Favre’s contributions by saying if you switched Favre and Aaron Rodgers, the game would have turned out the same. Ok, what does that mean? It means the Packer offense is terrible except for Rodgers.

So, for ticking off the face of the franchise to the point he became obsessed with revenge, shipping out said face of the franchise for a handful of magic beans, ill equipping his replacement to do proper battle and lead the franchise back to glory, and confusing, alienating and tearing apart the fan base that so loyally supports the team, Ted Thompson you are an idiot.

Taking the Week Off

Bills – In addition to having their training room double as a set for Trauma, Buffalo will also search for TO, and who has been missing since training camp.

Browns – Unfortunately, Browns players will be shocked to discover that this is not the merciful end of the season, and they will have to report back next week for additional games. Although, not as shocked as Browns fans will be when they learn there’s more torture, I mean games, to come.

Vikings –Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre.

Jets – Who feels like a Coney Island frank?

Raiders – See Browns bye week.

Rams – See Raiders bye week.

On Tap This Week

Ok, I didn’t go 0-13. However….

You know those weeks where you feel ok about your picks, and then the first play you watch sets the tone for the remainder of the day? Yeah, that’s what happened. As soon as I watched Kyle Orton get pounded on the Broncos first play, I knew it was going to be a long day. I was not wrong.

Last week: 7-6
Season to date: 84-32

I went against my first instincts and changed picks at the last minute. Suffice to say, I lost all those I changed. Dumb dumb dumb. Somehow, I let Sherman Lewis call my picks. Not this week, no way.

Sunday

Baltimore (4-3) at Cincinnati (5-2)

You think Ray Lewis doesn’t remember last time these two teams played? I do. I also know Marvin Lewis is 1-4-1 coming out of a bye week as the Bungles head coach.

Ravens over Bungles

Houston (5-3) at Indianapolis (7-0)

Wow, look Houston is two games above .500 for the first time in their history. Wow, look, Indianapolis is starting two rookies at corner. Could Houston go three games above?

Texans over Colts

Green Bay (4-3) at Tampa Bay (0-7)

Well, Aaron Rodgers and Cheese heads can take solace this week in the fact that no only does Tampa Bay not have Brett Favre, they also have no pass rush.

Packers over Buccaneers

Arizona (4-3) at Chicago (4-3)

Ugh. I hate the Cardinals. Really guys, pick a side, are you good and explosive or terrible and mistake prone? Just pick one, that’s all.

Bears over Cardinals

Miami (3-4) at New England (5-2)

Oooh, look out for the potent Wildcat! Yeah, if not for Ted Ginn’s theatrics on kick returns, Miami would have had bumpkis last week. You think with an extra week to prepare Bill Belichick won’t find a way to get better kickoff coverage? Sorry Joey.

Patriots over Dolphins

Kansas City (1-6) at Jacksonville (3-4)

I suppose someone must win.

Jaguars over Chiefs

Washington (2-5) at Atlanta (4-3)

Yeah right. I wouldn’t take Washington now if it was a falling down contest.

Falcons over Redskins

Carolina (3-4) at New Orleans (7-0)

Now, as soon as Carolina gets behind they’ll revert to the pass. Once that happens, Darren Sharper will have a lovely day.

Saints over Panthers

Detroit (1-6) at Seattle (2-5)

Hmmm, poo sandwich or poo casserole? I’ll take the sandwich; I can finish that one faster.

Seahawks over Lions

Tennessee (1-6) at San Francisco (3-4)

Eh, I’ll take a chance and go Titans two weeks in a row. After all, Chris Johnson is a man possessed.

Titans over 49ers

San Diego (4-3) at New York Giants (5-3)

The Giants have a horrible secondary and Eli Manning is reverting to Peyton’s little brother. Their bye week is one week too late. Heaven help me I’m backing Norv Turner on the road…

Chargers over Giants

Dallas (5-2) at Philadelphia (5-2)

Oh we have a good one here. A revitalized Cowboys team against an explosive Eagles team with the division lead on the line. I like both teams, but who have the Cowboys played? I gotta go with the Birds.

Eagles over Cowboys

Monday

Pittsburgh (5-2) at Denver (6-1)

“and most of all, beware of the Neck Beard.” – Bill Simmons. Whoa wait a minute there Bill. No one has touted the wonders of the Neck Beard more than I, so I know when to truly be aware of it. And this week, it will be trimmed.

Steelers over Broncos

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 8

2009-11-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

It is Halloween weekend in the NFL. I heard to scare fans Brett Favre was going to dress up as Viking. Wait, that’s not a costume but his real uniform? Oh my.

Opening Kickoff

Hey, did you hear prodigal son Brett Favre is returning to the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field to face his old team in enemy colors? No? Wow, you really would think the NFL would advertise such an event more than once every 30 seconds.

The Way It Was

In the Texans victory over the 49ers, Andre Johnson left the game and was sent to the hospital with a lung contusion. Johnson was spitting up blood on the field. Mercifully, Johnson has recovered and looks set to play again this week. Although that’s a scary sight.

The New Orleans Saints staged a memorable second half comeback from down 24-3 at one point. And this occurred on Drew Brees’ statistically worst day this season. Honestly, what can stop this team at this at this point? The Steeler defense looked great last Sunday, but I have my doubts that even the Black and Gold could stop Brees and company.

Now that’s the Reggie Bush the saints drafted. Bush scored a touchdown after launching himself from the 6 yard line and my jaw dropped about six yards at the same time. Scintillating.

Seriously John Fox, your job is on the line. Jeff Garcia is doing nothing. What would it hurt at this point? It couldn’t possibly be worse than the weekly Jake Delhomme turnover fest.

I cannot stand the Bills. Make up your mind guys; are you good or do you suck?

Hmmm I completely forgot about the Cedric Benson revenge game last week. Boy he stuck it to Chicago big time.

So did Carson Palmer, for that matter.

That big money for Cutler sure seems worth it this week, no? Kudos to Chicago for investing in a “leader”.

Wow JaMarcus Russell was so bad the Raiders gave up and went Bruce Gradkowski. Sadly for Oakland fans, head coach Tom “you mess with the bull you get the horn” Cable announced after the game Russell will remain the starter. Like it makes a difference either way, the team still sucks.

Jets running back Leon Washington broke his leg on an awful play and is now gone for the season. See, nothing good ever happens in the Black Hole.

How good is Miles Austin? I hope Romo is picking up the tab every time Austin goes out to dinner, because Miles is saving his bacon and the team’s season almost singlehandedly at this stage.

Will the real Cowboys please stand up? Is this the real team that whacked a good Falcons team or is the real team the other one who barely put away a crappy KC team? I’m just curious regarding how I should rank you for the remainder of the season.

Wow, good for you Phillip Rivers. You kicked the crap out of the Chiefs. Guess your team is Super Bowl ready now!

The Steel Pit

Last week on As The Favre Turns, an evil presence invades the town of Kiln, and Favre faces his first major setback in his Packer payback tour.

Wow, what an exciting game between two very good teams. And I got my wish. On the last play of the game, Mr. James Harrison introduced Mr. Brett Favre to the Heinz Field turf! Maybe James is a regular reader. If you are Debo, thanks for that one, I loved it!

Obviously I am thrilled with the outcome, especially the defensive performance, but let’s get a bit of controversy out of the way.

I agree and will not start an argument with anyone. The tripping penalty against Jeff Dugan was ticky tack, but if the Vikings were a better team they would have scored on the very next play. And they didn’t. Their defense did well shutting down Pittsburgh’s attack, more than well enough to win the game. But bad play calling by Brad Childress and two turnovers by Brett Favre that lead to 14 defensive points were the true difference. Get over it.

Speaking of said defensive points, outstanding performances by LaMarr Woodley and Keyaron Fox, making heads up plays and scoring decisive touchdowns. Even better was the defense on both plays setting up a convoy down the field to allow these gentlemen to score. It reminded me fondly of Super Bowl 43.

Not so great, the Vikings breaking a kick return for a touchdown after one defensive touchdown. Nice tackle Jeff Reed. Quit thinking about the post game party and focus on your job.

Like I said, I dug the defensive performance. Yes, they did give up a ton of yardage, which is always sub-optimal. But what they did won the game. They sacked Favre 4 times and kept him from scoring, took two turnovers in for scores and displayed tremendous grit on a decisive third quarter goal line stand that kept Minnesota out of the end zone. This series alone turned momentum toward Pittsburgh and kept the defense amped up on a day the offense did not show its best stuff. On top of that, they held Adrian Peterson to under 100 yards.

And speaking of which, how good is Peterson? That play near the end of the game where he ran over William Gay was fabulous. I think they’re still digging Willie out of the turf.

Ok, the offense did not have its best game, but that doesn’t mean it did awful. They made plays when they had to, overcame some stifling coverage to score one touchdown and the offensive line was increasingly superb. That unit opened wide running lanes and gave Big Ben tremendous protection against a top notch defense. If the offense had been able to find their rhythm, this game would not have been as close.

The only real bad things that came from this game were Mendenhall’s dumb fumble inside the five yard line, another head scratcher, and of course Lawrence Timmons and Travis Kirschke leaving the game with injuries. With a week off, they could be set for the second half of the season, but we shall see. In the meantime, Steeler fans can savor over the bye week a big win over a good opponent.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Another week, yet another questionable call in a football game. People lost their minds complaining about the very questionable tripping call that cost Minnesota a touchdown in their loss to Pittsburgh. But what bugged me is that no one mentioned Benny Sapp's illegal hit on Ben Roethlisberger. Last week on a similar hit between Dante Wesley and Clifton Smith, people fell all over themselves to decry the hit, vilify Wesley and once again complain about the violence in the NFL. This week, with a similar situation except the intent was obvious since Ben was out of bounds when he was hit and Sapp seemingly launched himself after Ben left the field of play, not only was Sapp not tossed from the game, but people are ignoring the subject altogether.

Last week I argued that perhaps in the speed of the game, Wesley operated on instinct instead of thinking the situation through. I will argue the same for Sapp as well. He’s starting for an injured player, trying to make an impression and stop a vital element of his opponent. Perhaps Sapp got caught up in the moment. Yeah, I hated the play, but I’m willing to be consistent here and give a benefit of the doubt. However, why am I the only one? Talking heads that spewed from their soap boxes regarding the evil of Wesley said not one word about Sapp. And officials who rightfully tossed Wesley last week were nowhere to be found in Pittsburgh, as Sapp continued to play the remainder of the game. If the NFL wants it’s officiating to be taken seriously, it needs to be consistent in these situations. If one guy gets tossed for a vicious hit, then you need to toss every guy who does a similar act. But disappointingly, everyone ignored yet another terrible call and example for the argument for full time referees. It was more vogue to focus on how poor old Brett Favre got jobbed.

And yes, even though I am an unabashed Steeler fan, even I have to vehemently agree that the tripping penalty was terrible at best. But, I’m not going to complain about it too hard. Every team gets jobbed by a bad call every season. I could rattle off terrible calls against the Steelers just from this year alone. I still maintain the same argument whether the call goes for or against Pittsburgh. The better team will overcome such hurdles and emerge victorious. Well, at least until the NFL gets a clue and hires full time referees to establish some semblance of consistency and professionalism.

Apparently, Joe Gibbs will not be coming back to Redskins. I figured that man had enough common sense to not even be considered in the running.

The NFL stated this week they would like to have one team to play in London annually. I cannot imagine a team willingly giving up home date revenue each season to make this pipe dream a reality, but I can think of several fan bases more than happy to ship their team overseas for multiple games.

Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford chose to have shoulder surgery, ending his collegiate career and setting himself up for next year’s draft. Now, NFL talking heads have been blabbering how Bradford, by not declaring for the draft last year, has lost millions of dollars. This is one of the dumbest statements I’ve ever heard. How can a man lose millions of dollars he never had in the first place? All he lost was potential at millions, and considering his reputation, something tells me come contract time Bradford will not have to buy generic brands to pinch a penny.

Titans’ owner has decreed that head coach Jeff Fisher start Vince Young over Kerry Collins. If the owner is telling you how to coach and who to play, that’s not a good sign for job security, right?

In light of his incredibly stupid and insulting remarks this week, the Chiefs have suspended running back Larry Johnson and barred him from team activities. It still amazes me how dumb Johnson is, and how big of a jerk he continues to become. What’s the over/under before this guy gets wrapped up in another criminal investigation? I’m taking the under on 1 year.

Because of ongoing punting problems, the Broncos signed Mitch Berger this week. Yeah, that’ll turn the whole thing around. Actually, it might. The Steelers did win a Super Bowl with Berger. Hmmm, Mitch Berger good luck charm.

Ray Lewis spent his bye week watching the University of Miami play from a private suite and doing tequila shots. Gee, I wonder why the Ravens defense has slipped this year.

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

What did I learn this week? Well, I learned that when you have a great week, and your opponent yet again has a monster week, you take your loss graciously. Luckily, I’ve had much practice.

Strangely, I did have a great week, and once again my opponent had a career week. I’m not sure what cosmic forces are causing this, but I worry not now. Why you asked? Because I have a secret weapon for next week, but his presence this week will turn the tide. I now have Jeff Reed on my team. So even if we lose, it’ll be one heck of a party!

Upon Further Review

Favre and the Vikings versus the Packers. It’s THE story and game to watch. I think no matter which team you side with or where your allegiances lie you have to agree with this.

Now, I think after watching him this season, we can also agree that Favre is still a top tier quarterback. His game is still there, as well as that special magic that pulls out at least one or two games a season. I’m sure at least half the teams in this league would drool to have his talent and pedigree suiting up for them each week.

In the same vein, I think we can also all agree he’s turned into a major league egomaniacal ass as well. Yeah, I know he felt he was forced out of Green Bay and that Ted Thompson should pay for such a mistake. Great, if that’s your motivation, drive and belief Brett, run with it. And I’m sure Brett has more than a leg to stand on in his beliefs. I have mentioned often there is plenty of blame between both Thompson and Favre to spread evenly around. They both contributed in creating this uncomfortable and embarrassing situation for the Packers team, Favre and the fans. However, my issue is not between those two, but how Favre continually insults Packer fans in the process of his Thompson revenge tour. Packer fans really are like the child caught in the middle of a bitter divorce.

This really bothers me because Packer fans are some of the best fans in all of sports. They are knowledgeable, devoted, invested in the team no matter how good or bad they are and always gracious to their opponents no matter which team wins.

But how Favre has handled his side of the situation has fashioned a brother versus brother state of affairs in Green Bay leaving fans conflicted about how they came to this crossroads with one of their greatest stars.

Reports are fans are going to boo Favre when he takes the field. Fans already in preparation for the game have conducted a mock funeral for Favre. These are serious fans who feel as though they are being punished for just loving a team and one of its all time greatest stars and are now trying to move past this incredibly awkward situation.

I’ve read a bunch of articles this week regarding this game, and most of them told Packer fans it’s time to let it go, get over it and move on. I ask why they should do that. It's not like they brought this situation about. Favre has stated multiple times for the fans to get over it. Why? He is one of the key components that brought this awkward state to fruition. Sure, hey may be nothing but a me-first mercenary at heart, but that doesn’t mean his former fans are. It’s easy for him to let it go. He toyed with their emotions with his annual retirement because it suited him, not them. He started breaking his allegiances and emotions years ago, but they never did. He's the one who wanted out. He's the one who finagled his way into Minnesota purple. If Packer fans want they should be allowed to be as angry, upset or insane as they want or need to be. (Keep in mind this is still a fantasyland of pro sports so it's all absurd if you think about it)

Yes, in truth Packer fans should move on. It’s not like keeping such negative feelings burning for a long time is good for anyone. Plus, it creates bad mojo overall and there are more important things in life to concern oneself with than for what team some overgrown child plays. But like Forrest Gump once said, you have to put the past behind you. And Packer fans letting Favre have it for three hours will go a long way toward Green Bay putting that past behind them.

I hope they boo him, from the moment he steps on the field until the game is over. Let him know his ego and selfishness have hurt other people. That he has taken all the love and support those fans gave him for so many years and threw it away like a used Kleenex. Show him that type of behavior, that selfishness, that cold hearted attitude has consequences, it is not acceptable. Show him he’s not as great or universally beloved as he thinks he is. Not like he'll care, or even presume to care, but I think such great football fans should use this moment to make a point to the rest of the sporting world as well. Show Favre and all other mega star athletes that bottom line is Favre is nothing more than a very good football player and not the cultural icon his ego reflects in his mirrors. Once they do that, then I say they’ll be in a position to move on, and I hope getting it out of their system on a crisp Wisconsin Sunday helps achieve that goal. Packer fans are too good to start morphing into Eagle fans, and good gravy we certainly do not need more fans ready to boo at the drop of a cheese steak.

He Said He Said

“This game should have gone to OT after a Vikings field goal knotted it at 20, or the Vikings should have had a touchdown with less than a minute to go, leading to a narrow victory. But that's football." – SI.com’s Peter King

Awww, sounds like someone is all sad Favre lost.

“He can't be human. Dude's made of steel." Steeler cornerback William Gay on Adrian Peterson

You would know better than anybody Willie. Just curious, have you found your lunch yet?

"Are you kidding me! That is unacceptable." - Fox announcer Daryl Johnston on Jeff Reed's pathetic tackle attempt during the Steelers-Vikings game.

Don’t forget pathetic Daryl.

“I like the call by Brad Childress, down 13-6 after three failures at fourth-and-goal from the Steelers' one. With Casey Hampton over the first-year starter at center, John Sullivan, Childress went for the field goal. I'd have taken the three points instead of going for the seven.” – SI.com’s Peter King

And like Childress you'd have lost too. Fortune favors the bold, Peter.

"I want to apologize for that. I wasn't feeling very good and didn't eat much before the game, so I was feeling a little queasy. Toward the end of the game, I probably should have eaten one of those bars or something, but someone offered [a hot dog], so I grabbed it and tried to be discreet about it, but obviously not discreet enough. So I shouldn't have done that, and it won't happen again." - Mark Sanchez, on eating a hot dog on the bench in the fourth quarter

Seriously? He has to apologize for eating a hot dog? What is the world coming to when a man needs to apologize for sneaking a hot dog? Come on people, loosen up. I thought it was funny as all get out.

"My father played for the coach from 'rememeber [sic] the titans.' Our coach played golf. My father played for the redskins beiefley [sic]. Our coach. Nuthn [sic]." -- Running back Larry Johnson twittering after yet another Chiefs loss

Hey, Larry, try this for a change it might work. Run your legs and not your mouth.

"We know the N-word is unacceptable, that's not disputable -- but f*g? I'm learning that there's a segment of our society that finds it offensive and that it should not be used. I didn't realize that, but I do know now..." – Peter Schafer, agent and lawyer for Larry Johnson, claiming he did not realize the f-word was a gay slur

Really? And this guy is a lawyer? Is there any reasonably educated person in this world, and by reasonably I mean watched more than 5 minutes of news in their lifetime, that could possibly buy this lame explanation?

"…start with ownership." - Washington cornerback Carlos Rogers telling the media where the team's problems are originating

Wow. This is going to end so spectacularly bad.

"There's no sentiments, really, one way or the other." – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre

Honestly Brett? You cannot even fake it and lie and say yes, it means something? I hope Packer fans egg his restaurant after the game.

"I want to smack Eric Mangini so hard he poops himself. The Browns are the new Lions. It's horrific." -- WWE wrestler The Miz

You and half of Ohio and a good portion of New York as well. And yes, I included this one because who doesn’t love a quote with the word poop in it?

Idiot of the week

Yum, Halloween filled my idiot bag with tons of goodies. From Larry Johnson proving again what an ass he is with his ridiculous twittering insult of his coach and then showing his ignorance once again by dropping a gay slur and being promptly suspended to his lawyer claiming he did not know said slur was offensive. Then you have Bud Adams decreeing from on high, Dan Snyder destroying from same perch, more on this next week, and Brett Favre trying once again to get his restaurant next to Lambeau Field to go bankrupt. How does one choose with so many delicious choices?

I’ll tell you how; you go with the biggest idiot. And this week, the biggest idiot is Brad Childress.

Now, his game plan against the Steelers would be plenty to garner the award. You have the best running back in the league going against a run defense weakened by the loss of a key starter and said running back only carries the ball 18 times? You have first and goal at the one and said running back only gets 2 cracks, yet you had more than four chances to pound the ball across the goal line? And you have a 40 year old quarterback playing in chilly weather against a defense known for its propensity toward sacking the quarterback and you have him throw 55 times, resulting in no touchdowns, two turnovers returned for scores and 4 sacks? Yeah, that’s dumb.

But what really was the icing on the cake was a tidbit I read in Don Banks’ column this week, where apparently on the plane ride from Minnesota to Pittsburgh, Childress made the flight, dolled up in a dress, wig, lipstick and blue nylons. Now, what people do in their own lives is their own thing, I have no problem there. Hey, sometimes stepping out of your norm can be fun. Nor do I have a problem with practical jokes and hazing. The history of the NFL is littered with such stories and they are always funny. Under different circumstances, this story would be hilarious.

But as head coach, do you really think it’s a good idea to submit to such a prank as you travel for your biggest game of the season thus far, with your undefeated record on the line and a real test for your team going against the defending Super Bowl champions? Is it really more important to be one of the guys in this situation, or would it be better to cut a figure of the man in charge with the plan to topple the champs and seat your team as the one to beat? I’d lean toward the latter, but hey, that’s just me. Like I said, I dig such jokes, but I think they’d be a better fit for road trips to say Cleveland.

So for a terrible game plan underutilizing your best assets, over utilizing a potential weakness, once again not cutting an image of the man in charge and starting Halloween a week early, Brad Childress you are an idiot.

Taking the Week Off

Bengals – I hope they’re finding a way to get back to being the Bungles, but they’ll probably just tuck into advanced copies of Ochocinco’s new book. I smell Pulitzer!

Chiefs – Oh, you know, the usual stuff a team does on its bye week. Suspending its running back for insulting the coach and dropping gay slurs, coming up with substandard game plans, looking terrible in general and giving zero hope to Kansas City fans everywhere.

Patriots – Belichick will spend the week practicing his grumpy guy routine while Tom Brady stares at a mirror making smug self satisfied faces and muttering, yeah, that looks good.

Steelers – Besides teaching Matt Spaeth about indoor plumbing and Jeff Reed about moderation, the team has to stock up on silver cleaner. Amazing how fast that stuff runs out when you have so much hardware to clean each week.

Buccaneers – Who cares what the players are doing, fans are sitting in their homes, arms wrapped around their legs rocking back and forth muttering, this is not happening, this is not happening.

Redskins – I imagine Dan Snyder will find some way overpay another mediocre player and further emasculate Jim Zorn, but I just cannot figure out how.

Sunday Night Football – Why are operations shut down this week? Is it to avoid a conflict with the World Series? No. It’s so Peter King can be in Green Bay to salivate over Brett Favre in person.

On Tap This Week

Did I win the week last week? No. Did I remain consistent and in the overall lead? Yes.

Last week: 10-3
Season to date: 77 - 26

I also noticed that through the first seven weeks, I am the only one who has had double digit wins each week. And now that I noticed that factoid, I shall proceed to go 0-13 this week. But there’s always hope otherwise, right?

Sunday

Denver (6-0) at Baltimore (3-3)

Ok, I said before do not go against a team that has come off a bye week. But what if both of them had the week off? You go with the Neck Beard.

Broncos over Ravens

Houston (4-3) at Buffalo (3-4)

You know what? Buffalo’s defense is pretty good. Their offense, on the other hand….

Texans over Bills

Cleveland (1-6) at Chicago (3-3)

There is always a chance Cribbs could run back a kick return or punt for a touchdown and Cutler could throw 3 or 4 picks and Cleveland could pull of an upset. But there’s also a chance a meteor could land in my backyard containing a small baby wrapped in a red cape.

Bears over Browns

Seattle (2-4) at Dallas (4-2)

Since I can never guess which Seattle team will show up, and Dallas is at least more consistently mediocre….

Cowboys over Seahawks

St. Louis (0-7) at Detroit (1-5)

Ewww.

Lions over Rams

San Francisco (3-3) at Indianapolis (6-0)

Good for Alex Smith, pulling himself off the bust scrap pile and back into a starting job. But, bad for Alex Smith pulling this game as his first start in 2 years.

Colts over 49ers

Miami (2-4) at New York Jets (4-3)

Yeah, call me a glutton for punishment, but I think Rex Ryan will have something in store this time for Miami. Plus I cannot get behind a team that blows such a huge lead at home as Miami did last week.

Jets over Dolphins

New York Giants (5-2) at Philadelphia (4-2)

How exciting, the Yankees and Phillies for a key World Series game while the Eagles and Giants face off for the division lead in the city of Brotherly Love. I hate to say it, but Philadelphia fans will be disappointed at least once today. I can’t see New York losing three in a row, can you?

Giants over Eagles

Oakland (2-5) at San Diego (3-3)

Even Norv Turner cannot screw this one up, right?

Chargers over Raiders

Jacksonville (3-3) at Tennessee (0-6)

I think the Titans have made proper amends for their desecration of a powerful talisman last year. Well, I think so; let’s see what the Terrible Towel thinks.

Titans over Jaguars

Carolina (2-4) at Arizona (4-2)

I think Larry Fitzgerald should play in the Cardinals secondary this week. He’ll double his receptions easily.

Cardinals over Panthers

Minnesota (6-1) at Green Bay (4-2)

Is Minnesota the better team? Yes. Will they win? Probably. But you know what? Sometimes the power of will can make amazing things happen. And the will of Packer fans will be for a Green Bay victory.

Packers over Vikings

Monday

Atlanta (4-2) at New Orleans (6-0)

Why get off that train now, especially after such a scintillating win last week? What does it say about New Orleans that they can cream an opponent on Drew Brees’ worst day of the season?

Saints over Falcons

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 7

2009-10-24T22:58:00.000-07:00

Steelers’ kicker Jeff Reed was arrested outside a North Shore bar in Pittsburgh Sunday night after the game and issued a citation for simple assault, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness. This all came to pass because teammate Matt Spaeth was caught by police in a parking lot for public urination, and when police went to issue Spaeth a citation, Reed jumped out of the vehicle they were riding and decided to intervene. Not only are kickers a weird breed, so are those with whom they socialize. That’s two incidents this year for Jeff. Either he may have a problem, or he just wants to make it as difficult as possible to get that new deal from the Steelers.

Opening Kickoff

The St. Louis Rams have lost 16 straight games. If they knock out the rest of the season, that will put them in a tie with the expansion Buccaneers for the worst losing streak of all time. This is more exciting than the Lions reaching the pinnacle of single season putridity last year. Go Rams!

The Way It Was

How do you lose, at home, against the Bills who had to run with Ryan Fitzpatrick? How?

Last week Giant Antonio Pierce called the game New York played against the Raiders an uninspired scrimmage. I wonder how he felt as Drew Brees treated his defense like a practice squad.

Speaking of the Raiders, the best bird on the field in Oakland was the pigeon that flew down the field on kickoff coverage. And Eagles fans knew it too.

Jets, you’re almost dead to me. Keep it up and you’ll be vacationing with the Cowboys in my dog house.

It’s going to be difficult getting out of said doghouse now when their defense lost nose tackle Kris Jenkins for the season with an ACL tear. Now that a few engines have flamed out, can Rex Ryan keep the Jets from nose-diving? If not, I bet the post game press conferences will be uber entertaining.

Can we cease and desist with the “Sanchize” nonsense? How about we let the boy play a season with some success before anointing him the next Namath? Although, at least no one labeled him with some dumb nickname like M-Sanz.

I’m not sure which I find more detestable, Tom Brady’s smug self satisfied attitude after humiliating an opponent or his infantile, and profanity-laced sideline tirades when the smallest thing does not go his way. But I’m getting really tired of both, as well as the announcers and media members who make excuses or apologize for both. If they won’t say it, I will. Brady is an ass. You don’t see Peyton Manning behaving like that week in and week out.

And speaking of detestable, Mr. Bill Belichick! Oh you can call it what you want, but you ran up the score, again, against an overmatched opponent. And why was Brady playing at all in the second half of that game? Haven’t you learned how much it hurts when you play with fire already Bill?

Yeah, it sure looked like Tennessee quit during that game. Well, maybe not Chris Johnson.

Here’s a crazy stat from that game. The Patriots amassed 432 yards of passing. The Titans amassed -7 yards on 14 attempts. And I thought Derek Anderson’s 2-17 for 23 yards and an interception against the Bills was the pinnacle of ineptitude.

Now do you believe in the power of the neck beard? Now do you see of what I’ve been speaking of for years? I know several million Bronco fans do.

When the Broncos and Bears made their big trade earlier this year, did Denver also get Devin Hester’s mojo? Because it certainly looked like Eddie Royal had it Monday night.

Titans’ owner Bud Adams feels coaching is part of Tennessee’s problem and made no promises regarding the future of Jeff Fisher

The Steel Pit

Steelers 27 – Browns 14

The score in no way reflected how little the Browns were actually in this game. If it weren’t for Joshua Cribbs capitalizing on a special teams breakdown, the score wouldn’t even have been that close. Pittsburgh pounded the Browns into submission for the 12th straight time, like we all figured. A few highlights…

Hines Ward racked up another 100 yard receiving game and now leads the league in yardage. Not bad for a 33 year old man with no ACL.

Heath Miller had a spectacular touchdown catch to open the scoring and a darned good day overall.

Troy Polamalu returned to action and promptly picked off Cribbs running a wild cat, although he did tweak his healing knee in the process.

Big Ben tossed the ball for 417 yards and two touchdowns. Wow, it feels wonderful to have a quarterback who can impose his will upon an opposing team. I bet this is how Colts fans feel all the time.

The defense played inspired, forcing multiple turnovers and sacking Anderson. Plus, they held together better in the 4th quarter. Things may be coming together for LeBeau’s charges. Well, I hope at least.

Those were the good things. Now for the weird and bizarre, of which there was plenty.

Start with Solomon Wilcots, who kept calling Rashard Mendenhall Mendinghall throughout the game. At one point he started pronouncing it correctly, then reverted right back to Mendinghall. Seriously, what kind of preparation does he put into his pregame work?

Hines Ward had a touchdown taken away because he fumbled the ball after he rolled out of the end zone. Yeah, the explanation made sense, but it still felt stupid.

Both teams in the third quarter went through the Bermuda Triangle and came out with a severe case of fumble-itis, with both teams turning the ball over on five consecutive possessions.

But that all paled to the disaster that was officiating. Walt Anderson and his crew had, shall we say, a rough day. Their “highlights”…

Cleveland linebacker David Bowens was flagged for “forcibly taking the quarterback to the ground." I guess you cannot just rough the passer.

Cleveland stuffed Pittsburgh on a 4th and 1, which measurements clearly showed. Yet Anderson signaled Pittsburgh 1st down. Even a total homer as me felt the Browns got jobbed.

At the end of the 3rd quarter, Anderson signaled over the field mic that the game had reached the end of the 1st quarter.

When Ryan Clark intercepted Anderson at the goal line, the officials first ruled Steelers ball at the 20. Then they reversed it, saying it would be Steelers ball at the 1 yard line and that Clark didn’t actually go into the end zone due to “interception momentum”. You got me on that one as well. Suffice to say, yes, I still believe the NFL needs to have full time referees. And I think Browns fans would probably sign my petition if I had one.

Despite everything, I was thoroughly entertained, pleased with the outcome and happy to see a great performance. Now, can they do it again this week against an opponent who is, shall we say, far from a doormat? Cross your fingers kids, because we’re about to guest star in As The Favre Turns!

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

In a very attention-grabbing interview, former Browns great (boy that almost made my copy of Word short circuit) Bernie Kosar stated that when the new Browns were starting to be formed, he pushed the new owner and general manager to give Bill Belichick a second opportunity. That massive, horrific sound you heard was the entire city of Cleveland vomiting upon reading how Kosar was laughed at for such a suggestion and thinking of what might have been.

Hey, happy days are ahead in Oakland! Tom Cable will not face charges of assault. If this were any other team, people would be mortified and shocked. But when you hear it’s about Oakland, you kind of just shrug and think, yeah that makes sense.

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill this week to allow construction of a new NFL stadium in the Los Angeles stadium. It would seem things are finally falling into place for the return of the NFL in LA. You know, except for the actual team.

The Bears inked Jay Cutler to a two year contract extension, locking in the future yacht club denizen through 2013 while granting him roughly $20 million in guaranteed wages. Was this really that big of a priority to do it 5 games into his Bears career? And has he really proven he’s worth that kind of money yet? And people wonder why the Bears never have a good quarterback situation.

Now here are stories you like to hear. Chad Ochocinco, to help avoid a blackout in Cincinnati, teamed up with Motorola to purchase all the unsold game tickets for last week’s match up with the Texans. Kudos to Chad for the effort, although afterward you think that effort was a colossal waste of money. But I’m curious about something. I know times are tough right now, but Cincinnati was really facing a blackout? I mean, the team has stunk for years, but this season going into the game they were 4-1 and leading the division. Shouldn’t that bring the fans out, a chance to see your team successful? And it’s not like it’s trying to get a ticket for a Lakers game, this is the Bungles. Isn’t top price like $1.50 each?

While this is not NFL related, I did find this little snippet of information interesting. The NBA is now selling ad space on practice jerseys. Sure they’re desperate for money, obviously. But the question must be asked; who exactly will be seeing these ads other than the rest of the players and team personnel? Will they also sell tickets to practice? Please, let’s all work together to make sure Jerry Jones doesn’t find out about this.

The Redskins “asked” Jim Zorn to relinquish his play calling duties, claiming that with being head coach, quarterbacks coach and creating offensive game plans, calling the plays during the game is just one task too much. Those duties have now been passed to the newly hired Sherman Lewis. Lewis, until a few weeks ago when Dan Snyder came calling, was calling bingo games at a Detroit senior center. But to reassure all of us, the Redskins did say that Zorn will keep his job through the end of the season. Is there any conceivable way this ends well for anyone?

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

You know what I really love about fantasy football? I love starting out hot during the first half of games, then coming out of halftime and watching not one point accumulate for hours.

Ok, I know I said last week I expected to lose. But I had some hope when I saw my opponent started three players on their bye week. Obviously, he was not paying attention. You know what happened? I still lost! Of course, all of his players that did play scored in the double digits. Couple that with the fact that as a bye week replacement I started Mark “who do I throw too again” Sanchez who managed to complete half as many passes to the Bills (5 interception) as to Jets (10 for 29 overall). If he just had 0 points, I would have won. 0. I didn’t even need him to account for 1 point. Instead, all he did was take them away.

So I learned this week that you can plan, and study, and research and think deeply and look ahead for good match ups and still lose. And luck, obviously, has something to do with it.

But perhaps I need to face a fact. I might not be very good at this.

Upon Further Review

Panthers’ cornerback Dante Wesley was suspended for this Sunday’s game after leveling Tampa Bay’s Clifton Smith last week during a punt. Smith left the game with a concussion and Wesley was ejected. I imagine Dante will have more time on his hands coming up to work on his people skills when Roger Goodell takes a look at the tape.

Now, before I go on let’s set a few things in stone. First, Wesley’s hit was vicious; he led with his head, left his feet and completely aimed at clocking an unprepared and defenseless player. Smith was waiting to receive the punt and Wesley clearly hit him well before the ball arrived, which is an obvious violation. Tossing him from the game and suspending him are the right moves, especially if the NFL wants to remain serious in their attempts in minimizing dangerous hits and player injuries.

Now, I’m willing to give Wesley the benefit of the doubt that he is not a monster; that perhaps his intentions were merely to hit Smith hard enough to dislodge the ball when he caught it and force a turnover. In the process however he miscalculated the ball’s arrival and in his fervor to make the hit he lost his senses when he left his feet. Considering how football is played, does not such a scenario make almost perfect sense? Sure. Now, that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be punished, but it does explain the situation better.

However, Wesley’s actions or intentions are not the issue today. The issue this situation brings up is a subject that really bugs me, and that is announcers, press, and related media personnel using this play and others like it to decry the violence in the NFL.

First, most of those who make their living following the league have never played in it. So I always find it slightly bothersome when they break out a soap box to make a sanctimonious stand against the violent nature of the game. Yeah, Wesley’s actions were deplorable, but do we really need some 50 year old twit whose lifetime athletic highlight is three trips to the buffet without getting winded looking down his nose at a player for playing rough with others.

For that matter, I find it an extra burr in my saddle when former players turned broadcasters join in the cacophony turning a player into a pariah for his violent play. These gentlemen should know better because they’ve been there. They know what it’s like to be on that field and know how fast things can happen. I’m sure all of them have been in a situation where the intensity of the game, the speed of the action and the skills learned over a lifetime of playing football that have now turned to instinct all combined and they ended up laying a hit or doing something that could have been constituted as over the line. They have been in those trenches, had those experiences and should know better what most likely occurred rather than happily hang one of their own out to dry because of a massive mental breakdown.

Second, let’s face the truth here; football by its very nature is a violent game. It’s one of its biggest, if not biggest, drawing points. One of the reasons we tune in each week is to see someone get smacked so hard they lose their lunch. I mean for Pete’s sake ESPN has a segment called Jacked Up in which they show some of the weeks hardest hits and biggest collisions. Obviously, this aspect of football sells and we are buying it like houses before the bubble burst.

Everyone wants to see more of it, loves watching these strong, fast athletes pound into one another. Fans love to watch, owners love to sell, and networks reap the benefits by bringing it to all of us. Call it a love affair with controlled chaos, but the violence in the game sells. No one thinks of the consequences, though, until someone is laid out prone on the turf. Then, suddenly, that same violence that was heralded a few plays before is now evil and appalling.

And third, even if Wesley’s actions were intentional, that kind of behavior is more the exception than the norm in today’s NFL. However, in the past actions taken to intentionally injure were far more prevalent. If you’ve ever watched an NFL Films program you know his to be true. Heck, some of those old Raiders players still brag about taking guys out. But sensibilities changed and so did how players played the game. If anything, how the league, teams, coaches and players have adapted and moved away from questionable behavior while increasing the quality of play should be commended. But despite those positive changes, the violent nature always remained. And if that nature remains so will the chance that someone may take things too far.

This self righteous and disingenuous stance regarding violence is at best annoying. At worst it is a two faced stance taken by ill-informed people with no real original opinions looking to jump on the latest bandwagon issue for face time and to cull easy favor on an issue that is easy to support. On top of that, they contain no common sense that by taking such a stand, they spit at the master whom they serve. If these people are truly disgusted by the violence of the game, and deeply believe that any player who would commit such an act must be evil incarnate and should be shunned from society, then perhaps it’s time for them to find a new line of work. If you hate so an aspect of the game that has been at the core of the sport since it’s inception, then move on. Cover dog shows, baseball, tennis, anything else that does not include violence at its core. You will be much happier in the long run, and the rest of us will be as well by not having to suffer through another of your long winded pious rants.

However, if you enjoy the violence of the game, revel in it like everyone else and promote it until someone steps too far across the line; then shut up. Because all you do when you complain about the violent nature of football after someone goes too far is look like an ungrateful spoiled brat for ignoring what the NFL provides you as far as making a living and ignorant for so casually throwing a player to the wolves and raking a staple of the game over the coals.

The best way to avoid completely this maelstrom of banality, though, would be for players to take half a second to think before they act in potentially questionable situations. I’m sure this weekend Dante Wesley will be doing plenty of that and about how he’ll handle himself when he gets back on the field. But let me leave this subject with one question that every pompous pundit should have asked before they opened their pie holes. If Smith had caught the ball before Wesley popped him, would this have been just as big an issue, or just another clip on Sports Center?

He Said He Said

''I saw all the Cleveland guys arguing and yelling, so it was, well, the referee knows the rules better than I do. If he says first down, it's a first down.'' – Steelers tackle Max Starks talking of the controversial first down call during the Steelers/Browns clash.

It was luck coupled with zebra stupidity. But I shant complain too heavily.

''He made the call; you have to live with it. I don't know if there was (an explanation). He just said first down and that's it.'' – Browns linebacker David Bowens.

Oh there was an explanation.

''If you shot that angle from the other side, it might actually look like it's further in advance of the stake of what it was.” – Referee Walt Anderson

Uh huh, never mind the people standing right there could see it was not a first down, or that the camera was almost looking down the line.

''We lost. I could've had 2 yards. We lost the game.'' – Jets running back Thomas Jones

Very magnanimous from a man whose career day was completely obliterated by multiple boneheaded plays.

"I just gave that team the win.'' - Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez

Gee, you think so?

“It is a mark of how good Ben Roethlisberger is that he threw for 417 yards, with two touchdowns, and no one noticed. It's becoming routine.” – SI.com’s Peter King

No Peter, no one noticed because his last name is not Brady, Manning, Cutler or Favre.

“The Ravens are not the same on defense this year.” – SI.com’s Peter King

Thank you! I was beginning to think I was the only one who noticed.

"I've been playing sports since I was 8 years old, and never in any sport have I experienced anything like this.'' - Tennessee linebacker Keith Bulluck

Don’t worry Keith the Redskins started a support group a few years ago for teams that Belichick treated like a bitch. But I should warn you once again. Never disrespect the Terrible Towel.

“I just wanted to feel like a winner.” – Titans head coach Jeff Fisher, after donning a Peyton Manning jersey during a charity event.

I’ll give Jeff this; at least he’s maintained his sense of humor.

"My comfort level is somewhere between 1 and 10. It's not at 10." – Redskins head coach Jim Zorn

Understatement of the year.

Idiot of the week

Hmmm, good week this was, plenty of idiots abounded throughout the NFL. So who should we choose? Perhaps Mark Sanchez would be the perfect choice? No, the kid did play boneheaded, but hey he is a rookie and every rookie has at least one of those meltdown games. How about the referees at the Steelers/Browns game? Oh, they deserve it, but perhaps they too just had one of those games. Maybe Dan Snyder for his increasingly poor track record is the choice? Oh, he’s an idiot, but let’s save him for another week.

This week I would prefer to go with an old favorite, Andy Reid. Yes, losing to lowly Oakland is terrible and justification enough, but it’s how he did it. He wasted all of his timeouts while there was still over 4 minutes left in the first half, managed the clock terribly at the end of the first half and showed no backbone every time the Eagles were deep in the Raiders red zone, settling for field goals instead of going for the big score.

All those were plenty bad, but the worst, and what really pushed him over the top, was his game plan. Reid has two excellent running backs in Brian Westbrook and LeSean McCoy. Both are versatile and explosive. The Raiders have the 30th ranked run defense in the NFL, meaning only two teams are worse at stopping the run. With these factors in place you would think this would be slam dunk obvious what he should do, right? Wrong. Reid only called a total of 14 running plays the entire game, despite the fact that at no point was the game so far out of reach that he needed to rely solely on the pass to attempt to catch up.

So Andy, for still being unaware of how to use timeouts efficiently and manage the clock wisely despite over 10 years of head coaching experience, showing no boldness in scoring situations and not fully utilizing all the weapons at your disposal against an inferior opponent, you are an idiot.

Taking the Week Off

Ravens – I imagine heaping more blame upon Steve Hauschka for losing the Minnesota game while making more excuses and apologies for a rapidly declining defense. But who cares?

Broncos – Colorado is joyously basking in the warmth and wonder of the Neck Beard, whilst wondering who this Jay Cutler character is that Chicago fans seem to love.

Lions – Saying their prayers and giving thanks that they don’t play for the Rams.

Jaguars – My guess is trying to find a way to sign Tim Tebow without having to deal with pesky details like college eligibility or the draft, and do it preferably before next week.

Seahawks – Jim Mora Jr. keeps hearing his father’s words ringing in his head…”Playoffs!?! Don’t talk about playoffs!”

Titans – I’d say finding a way to turn things around, but it would seem some players are too busy getting worked up in a ridiculous lather regarding Fisher’s “winner” joke. That will galvanize everyone into becoming winners again.

On Tap This Week

So, did my goofy pick of Kansas City pay off? You know it did, but how big?

Last week: 11-3
Season to date: 67-23

That big! Even better? I won the week and am right at the top with the Lady K for the overall lead. That’s right kids, look out because we’re both gonna run away with it. Thank you Mr. Cowboy, I’ll take it under advisement, hit it again.

Sunday

San Diego (2-3) at Kansas City (1-5)

Geez, Norv Turner can outcoach Todd Haley right? Right?

Chargers over Chiefs

Minnesota (6-0) at Pittsburgh (4-2)

Talk about a real test for the Pittsburgh defense. If they are finding their groove, they need it right now. They do not call Adrian Peterson All Day for nothing. Perhaps Mr. Woodley and Mr. Harrison can repeatedly introduce Mr. Favre to the Heinz Field turf. Yes, I’d like that.

Steelers over Vikings

Indianapolis (5-0) at St. Louis (0-6)

Oh please. Peyton will be watching highlights on his Sony HD while ordering Sunday Ticket with his MasterCard before halftime.

Colts over Rams

New England (4-2) at Tampa Bay (0-6)

London Baby! The NFL’s third England game, and this year it seems no one really is feeling the hoopla. Probably because this game is going to be over before the teams actually take the pitch. I’d like to say karma will smite Belichick for keeping Brady in the game at all in the second half, and smite Brady altogether for smirking like the douche bag he is afterwards. But these guys seem to skirt karma in weird ways unless it’s a huge payback. Well, maybe their luggage will get lost in Heathrow airport.

Patriots over Buccaneers

San Francisco (3-2) at Houston (3-3)

This is called, the game which the NFL universe forgot.

Texans over 49ers

Green Bay (3-2) at Cleveland (1-5)

Hamm, I feel like some cheese.

Packers over Browns

Buffalo (2-4) at Carolina (2-3)

Eh. I mean really, you feel good about Ryan Fitzpatrick on the road?

Panthers over Bills

New York Jets (3-3) at Oakland (2-4)

Ok, Rex and company I’m giving you just one more chance. Screw me again and you’re officially dead to me.

Jets over Raiders

Atlanta (4-1) at Dallas (3-2)

Ok, let’s be honest here Atlanta is the better team. But surely Dallas can pull out a win at home when they’ve had two weeks to rest and prepare, right? Right?

Cowboys over Falcons

New Orleans (5-0) at Miami (2-3)

I told you, I’m riding this Big Easy train until it derails. I see no need to hop off now. Next stop, beautiful Miami.

Saints over Dolphins

Chicago (3-2) at Cincinnati (4-2)

I wonder if Jay Cutler will go pass happy on the Bungles like Schaub did last week….

Bears over Bungles

Arizona (3-2) at New York Giants (5-1)

I’m back and forth on this one, since Arizona seems to be rounding into form a bit. But I just get a feeling the Giants are going to be making a point that last week was an aberration, and Warner and company are going to be exhibit A in that demonstration.

Giants over Cardinals

Monday

Philadelphia (3-2) at Washington (2-4)

It’s difficult to feel good about a team that could muster absolutely nothing against the Raiders. But how can you feel good about a team riding a dookie coated waterslide?

Eagles over Redskins

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 6

2009-10-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

I looked at the scores of all the games throughout the day last Sunday. I noticed that at 3:15 remaining in the 1st quarter of the Giants/Raiders debacle the score was already Giants 14 – Raiders 0. I wrote down at that moment game over. I think I probably could have called that at 15:00 remaining in the 1st quarter, though. Perhaps the NFL should consider a mercy rule for future Raider games; you know to save some face for the remaining Raider fans.

Opening Kickoff

A 7 year old boy playing backyard football was tackled by a deer. The deer was immediately given a three year contract by the Raiders because Al Davis loved his speed.

The Way It Was

Ice Cube may be the most courageous man on planet Earth. To go on a nationally televised NFL pregame show and openly admit to being the worlds #1 Raiders fan? Courage at it’s finest my friends.

Just when I thought Atlanta had no defense, suddenly they find one. And Matt Ryan found his touch. Man, never underestimate a team coming off the bye. Shame on me.

I do like what Singletary is doing in San Francisco, but he just doesn’t have the horses quite yet. When he does, look out.

Gregg Easterbrook’s cold coach theory holds true again. In a freezing Denver, Josh McDaniels sported a sweatshirt, while Bill Belichick bundled up in a thick parka. The results were a predictable Bronco win.

Ok, it would seem that McDaniels might actually know what he’s doing. Interesting theory, I wonder if it will last.

My favorite part of this game, one I liked almost as much as Denver’s throwback uniforms made me want to vomit, was the Broncos beautiful 98 yard drive to tie the game and send the contest into overtime. Just fabulous execution and effort. They may not have Cutler’s big arm, but they have the Neck Beard.

Now I’ve wondered from the beginning why everyone has to hate on Kyle Orton. People spoke as though the Broncos traded John Elway for Joe Pisarcik. But look at their career records. While Cutler has this big arm and all this “potential”, all Orton has ever done, on an offensively challenged team before this year, is win football games.

Career Record (through week 5 of 2009)

Kyle Orton 26 - 12

Jay Cutler 20 - 22

Now, I bet I can think of no less than 10 teams that would give an eye tooth to have a smart, efficient quarterback that can inspire his teammates and make a few big plays while consistently winning games on their team. Heck, half of the AFC West would give more than that. All you doubters of the Neck Beard, never ever doubt its power again. Remember, I’ve touted it here for years, because I believe.

So the Broncos unleashed their new offensive package based on the Wildcat, called of course the Wild Horses. Yeesh. What’s next, the Ravens unleashing the wild bird droppings or the Cowboys revealing the wild cow pies?

You know why people do not respect kickers? Because they flop to draw a flag at any hint of contact and it causes real players who take real punishment to bristle greatly. I’m looking in your general direction Chris Hanson.

Oh no, Tom Terrific is now only 7-1 in overtime as a starter! The world will soon end!

I forgot one important thing when picking the Baltimore/Bungle game. The Ravens were way too hung up on the officials last week and bitched way too long to be truly focused this week. Oops. But hey, can you blame me? They were playing the Bungles.

Speaking of parolees, Ravens lead moron Ray Lewis was fined $25,000 for two separate hits in that game, including a helmet-to-helmet hit on Chad Ochocinco. It’s a shame he cannot be fined for just being an egotistical ass.

Did anyone else enjoy re-tread running back Cedric Benson snapping the Raven’s streak of not allowing a 100 yard rusher? I know I did.

And our condolences go out to Bungle defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer, who coached a beauty of a game while mourning the unexpected passing of his wife Vicki. I have nothing new to add to this story, as I’m sure if you follow the NFL you have heard it already. But I will say the Bungles, actually for this they will be the Bengals, coming together to help this man and perform like superstars may be the best story of the NFL season so far and may be the best of the year. Our thoughts and prayers are with you Mike.

The Browns finally won a game, thanks to the ineptness of the Bills coaching and team play. The Buffalo faithful booed their team at the end of that travesty called a game, and rightfully so. The Bills walked off the field leaving a steaming pile as large as Lake Erie.

If they keep up this kind of performance, Dallas will soon be dead to me much like the Titans. Seriously Wade Phillips, use your brain. If Mike Vrabel is in on offense, the pass is going to him. The man has 11 career receptions and 11 career receiving touchdowns, after you blew it Sunday. Was anyone but your team surprised this happened yet again? The Patriots used him in the Super Bowl in this fashion to great success. How, oh how, did you not see this coming?

With all the new blood on the Colt offense to reenergize Manning, how long do you think Peyton’s career will last? Honestly, I think he could play effectively for 10 more years with at least six of those years at the same level or higher than he is right now. And tack on another 5 after that 10 playing decently with a strong running game. Seriously.

The Steel Pit

Ahhh, nothing like a little winning streak to make things all better, no? Of course, that got a touch dicey there at the end. But give the defense credit; they only gave up 7 points in the fourth quarter last week, so obviously they’re improving. And it would not have been nearly as close if Big Ben didn’t have one really bad throw. But no worries, the team overall played well, and despite a few mistakes, still managed a nice win on the road.

Ok, sure, there were still some obvious question marks. Why the defense seems to fade in the fourth quarter. Why the defense cannot seem to get off the field on third down which is a major issue if you ask me. And why the play calling went conservative in the 4th quarter on offense. I mean come on Arians; I know you wanted that one last home run ball, but focus on scoring instead of ESPN highlights. Control the game and that home run will come to you. But why split hairs?

There were tons of good things, like Harrison and Woodley finally both showing up and the defense racking up seven sacks. Now that’s finally getting to the quarterback. And yeah, it was the Lions, but I think we can all agree they are improved, and some, including myself, would argue not even in the bottom 10 teams in the league. Plus, everyone forgets but once upon a time Culpepper was a top tier quarterback, and he showed that presence Sunday. So goo d things happened, the most important being a big fat W.

But even a nice victory must be tempered, and Steelers fans got that with learning defensive end Aaron Smith tore his rotator cuff in the game and is gone for the season. Smith’s presence on the defensive line is highly underrated and if you question his importance on that defense think back to 2007. Smith tore his bicep in that season, and missed the last 4 games. The Steelers lost 3 of those 4 games and were scorched on the ground.

The only salve the fans have is the heralded return of Troy Polamalu. Perhaps the addition of Troy can inspire the team, and Smith’s replacement, to play at new heights. One can hope.

As all the talking heads and pundits’ state each season, it’s difficult to repeat as champions. The mettle of this team will be measured in how they overcome the obstacles that stack their path. I for one am curious and excited to see how they respond.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

The Patriots, in a stab for experience and leadership, coaxed Junior Seau out of retirement this week to suit up again. Is Seau afflicted by the same disease as Favre?

The NFL is investigating an injury to Browns rookie James Davis. Allegedly Davis obtained a season ending shoulder surgery by going up against another player in pads while Davis was not in pads. Suffice to say, this would be a massive no no. I guess Mangini needed to up the ante with Tom Cable for worst coach in the league.

Browns fallen star Brady Quinn has put his house up for sale. But don’t read anything into it he’s selling just to move closer to the Browns facility to lessen his commute. Sure Brady. Hey, people of Cleveland, if you believe that, I have a bridge in Pittsburgh for sale if you’re interested.

Apparently, John Fox expects to be fired after the season, with rumors swirling he could be replaced by Bill Cowher. Sorry John, I don’t think it’s anything personal. I think this has been in the works for a while.

Question of the week. Has Tony Dungy ever gotten upset or raised his voice ever?

In lieu of the negative publicity, the ownership group looking to purchase the Rams led by Dave Checketts has dropped Rush Limbaugh from their ranks. Limbaugh predictably lashed out at the players union, stating he was made an example of and of course used the situation spew more divisive talk regarding our country and its politics in general. See Rush, it’s talk like that, constantly pitting people, religions and races against each other and the general mindset of if you are not with me you are against me is why today you still sit on the outside looking in. Yes, you may have 21 million listeners, but there are over 300 million people in this country. So perhaps you are not as universally believed and loved as you like. And one last note to Rush; excellent publicity stunt. People have been talking about you for over two weeks. Obviously the price for that is the unspent share of money needed to purchase the Rams. Good show.

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

Bye weeks can be a major pain in the fanny. One spends ample time planning their pretend football team, who they want, what moves they will make as a pretend owner. But then a bye week comes along and your fake star player is sitting at home eating Cheetos and kicking back. So now what? You find a replacement on the waiver wire.

I learned this week you must be careful in picking your replacements. I needed a wide receiver, and as it turns out so did my opponent, due to the bye. I chose the Colts’ Austin Collie. I figured he might do ok since Peyton is, well, Peyton. My opponent chose Jerricho Cotchery. Suffice to say, I chose wisely. But I might have had a touch of luck as well. And luck, seems to be a part of it.

This week, luck may leave me. I’ve resigned myself to a loss. Why so soon you may ask? A game has not even been played, why give up before the go? Because my opponent has Big Ben Roethlisberger, and he’s facing the Browns this week. That cannot end well for me in faux football. In real football? Jackpot!

Upon Further Review

When Michael Vick was reinstated to the NFL and the Eagles signed him, I supported the move. I felt that a man, if he has paid for his crimes, should be allowed a second chance to make a life for himself. After all, is this not one of the basic tenets of our society?

And let’s be honest, Vick has paid for his crimes, in ways far beyond a mere jail sentence. After all, most people convicted of dog fighting do not get two years in the pokey. Vick lost the respect of fans everywhere, the league, players, his family and friends. He lost millions in endorsements, millions in earnings, over 2 years of his athletic prime and 2 years of freedom. Forever he will be labeled an ex-con and in many circles a pariah. Some people will protest him until he retires into seclusion.

I spoke to many people about this very subject, with all of them vehemently stating the man should never have been allowed to return. They did not care about redemption, or that he supposedly changed, only that the man committed horrendous crimes and should never be allowed to resume such the privileged life he once led. I had trouble with this stance, as while I agreed with everything they said, especially being a dog owner, but felt it is important for us as a society to still hold true to the ideals upon which our justice system is based. If we cannot allow a man a second chance at life after being punished for his crimes, what does that say about us as a whole?

This is not so much about football, but about a man learning to be a better person. And on the surface, since his return he has said and done all the right things. Seemingly, he is taking this second chance with the seriousness and gravity it deserves. Wouldn’t that be great? Seeing someone turn their life around? It would be inspirational for everyone, to see that one person can use the opportunities presented to them to become something so much more than he was before.

But after seeing him surrounded by the cameras that are filming his reality show, something tells me he’s not serious. He’s serious about being famous and rich. He may recognize killing dogs for entertainment is wrong, but the gravity of why has not touched him. Only that people don’t like it and that it can get him in trouble. His sincerity to change may not be pure, and if it is that purity is only to help him regain the material wealth and fame he lost.

Perhaps I am merely naïve, or just it’s another example of the triumph of hope over experience. But I had hoped that for once, we’d see someone truly repent his crimes and strive to become something more. However, Vick has shown me he is not that person. Perhaps there is still hope yet. After all, I do think Tony Dungy is a wonderful person and can be one to help guide a wayward soul. And if Vick should be truly rehabilitated and remorseful, that would give people some faith back in our society, of which there seems to be less and less as time rolls on. But so far, the only thing Vick seems concerned with doing what is necessary to collect fame and money. And that may be the real mark of what we hold true in our society. And a more damning statement to the state of our world there may not be.

He Said He Said

"People see what I do and forget who I am and they really don't know who I am. Working with kids is what I do. I have over 100 kids in the NFL, I called them kids, but they're young adults, that I text every morning, Monday through Friday.'' - Deion Sanders, in an interview on NFL Network Sunday.

Yes, I always make sure to contact them during normal business hours, when it matters to me most how they are doing. In the off hours, when they might need the most guidance? I’m busy then. Deion can sell it all he wants, but I’m not buying it. I still think his biggest concern for these guys is how it keeps him connected and relevant to the game. Especially after watching him get defensive during this interview.

"From my blindside, Tom Cable threw me from my chair and into a piece of furniture ... He was screaming, 'I'll f------ kill you! I'll f------ kill you!' And I have no reason to believe he wouldn't have killed me if they hadn't pulled him away.'' – Former Raiders assistant coach Randy Hanson in his first extensive public comments regarding his claims of being attacked by Raiders coach Tom Cable.

Read the rest of the story by Michael Silver here. I certainly encourage it. I’m still not sure what the strangest part of this whole melodrama is yet. Is it that it involves a head coach on a steaming pile of an NFL team headed by the crypt keeper, or that Hanson did not want this publicized, wanted to stay with the team, is still getting paid by the team, and still roots for the Raiders after detailing tons of demeaning treatment even before getting clocked by Cable. I think the whole situation is karma for being a Raider fan.

''Man, they traveled awesome. It was spectacular to stand on the visiting sideline and see the fan support that we had today in this building.'' – Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin.

We do what we can.

''I don't feel like I'm playing well. 'm disappointed in my performance.'' – Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger

Oh, yeah, Ben you are playing horrendous. In case you haven’t noticed I’m being sarcastic.

“It’s a great challenge coaching against bill and his staff.” – Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels

I should say so. Especially knowing that everything you know and all the plans you’ve made, he knows.

''I'd be lying if I said I thought I'd still be playing at 40 and not miss a game at this point. I just hope I can lead this team to bigger and better things.'' – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre

I bet he’s thinking of playing at 50.

''We think we're a good football team. The worst we can finish now is 5-11.'' – Vikings defensive end Jared Allen

Now that’s funny. I want to get behind Jared and his monster season, but that mullet. Seriously, cannot someone talk to him? I think an intervention might be needed to take away his Flowbee.

“From a talent level, this is the best team I’ve ever been on.” – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre

Honestly, what’s next for Favre? How further can he demean and alienate Packer fans? At this point, all that seems left is to just go door to door through Wisconsin and shat on every porch with a cheese head in the window. It would be easier on everyone and more to the point.

"We couldn't stop the run or pass today. Other than that, we played great.” – Jets head coach Rex Ryan

Boy he’s a good quote.

"Perhaps we should all give Terrell Owens a round of applause. Can you imagine how much effort it's taking for him to stay quiet? Even if he were to talk out about Buffalo's woes, people would probably take his side. When have you ever been able to say that in the past?" – SI.com’s Jerome Bettis

Oh, he’s just saving it up for a truly memorable outburst. And I cannot wait.

Idiot of the week

This week’s idiot is the Buffalo Bills, for being amazingly unable to beat the hapless Browns, at home in front of a fired up crowd. How does that even happen? I know they have some talent on that team, how can you not win? I could find five random people on the street who could outcoach Mangini, how does Dick Jauron blow this game?

Plus, a special idiotic commendation goes to Bill Roscoe Parrish, whose muffed punt and turnover led directly to the Browns field goal that lost Buffalo the game. Roscoe, if you cannot corral the punt, just let it go. By trying to go for some hair brained idea of scooping and running onto a Sports Center highlight, you cost your team the game. Now, combine Roscoe’s horrendous crash with Leodis McKelvin’s un-special teams error and we have two games the Bills have lost because of dumb special teams errors. I thought Bobby April had these cats playing at the top of their game?

So Bills, for disappointing your fan base yet again, this time with a very humiliating home loss, bad coaching, dumb mental errors by your “top” players and being outcoached by a guy who was fired for his inability to win, you and Roscoe Parrish, for committing the same errors a Pop Warner team does, are idiots.

Taking the Week Off

Cowboys – If I were Wade Phillips, I’d spend this weekend tightening up my resume. A public vote of confidence from the team owner is as good as the kiss of death. Let the countdown begin.

Colts – I’m sure Peyton will produce a new game plan with Tom Moore, conjure another fabulous receiver out of bat wings, a piece of turf and liniment oil all the while taping three dozen new commercials for the stretch run. You know, his usual day off stuff.

Dolphins – Wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat wild cat. After all, in Miami, what else is there? (Henne….)

49ers – I’m hoping Mike Singletary can keep his pants on trying to find a solution for his defense’s poor performance last week. I’m hoping.

On Tap This Week

Another exciting week in the quixotic attempt to win big. I headed into Monday night in a 5 way tie for first place. If the Jets won, it would come down to me and two others and a win on points. I’ve done it before, could I do it again? Not this time, Chad Henne had something to say about that. But not a bad week overall.

Last week: 10-4
Season to date: 56-20

The Lady K also maintained her overall lead. I’ve got my fingers crossed she continues the magic. So let’s take a look and see what chance I have to join her in the pantheon of pro pick ‘em legends.

Sunday

St. Louis (0-5) at Jacksonville (2-3)

If they do not win today, St. Louis tomorrow will observe the one year anniversary of their last victory. It’s going to be a pathetic celebration.

Jaguars over Rams

Baltimore (3-2) at Minnesota (5-0)

I’ve said for weeks Baltimore’s defense is not what it used to be. Today on a national stage that will be exposed.

Vikings over Ravens

Detroit (1-4) at Green Bay (2-2)

I think Aaron Rodgers, after a nice week off, will use Detroit to wash that Favre right out of his hair.

Packers over Lions

Houston (2-3) at Cincinnati (4-1)

At this point, I have to pick Cincinnati. They’ve won too big too often. And to think, if not for one freak play, they’d be 5-0. Frightening.

Bungles over Texans

Cleveland (1-4) at Pittsburgh (3-2)

Oh come on. Yes no Aaron Smith hurts, but the Browns? Heck I could start in Smith’s place against Cleveland and no one would see a noticeable drop off in performance.

Steelers over Browns

Kansas City (0-5) at Washington (2-3)

Yes, Washington is so bad, and folding so fast, I do not like them at home against yet another winless team. Even one as dysfunctional as Kansas City.

Chiefs over Redskins

Carolina (1-3) at Tampa Bay (0-5)

How low can Tampa Bay go? I think they want to reclaim their crown as worst team of all time from the Lions.

Panthers over Tampa Bay

New York Giants (5-0) at New Orleans (4-0)

Ok, I’ve finally figured out why Drew Brees is so good. The Saints color scheme is very similar to that of Purdue, Brees’ Alta mater. When Drew suits up each week and dons those colors his mindset changes. He doesn’t think he’s in the NFL and about to face the best competition in the world, he thinks he’s back in college facing non-conference cupcakes. Today he won’t see the New York Giants; he’ll see Miami of Ohio. And he KNOWS he can beat them. We’re through the looking glass here, people.

Saints over Giants

Arizona (2-2) at Seattle (2-3)

Ok, now this is a tough one. Arizona is coming off a bye week, but like I said, Hasselbeck is the straw that stirs Seattle. Hmmm, just a gut feeling, and they have been wrong before, but I think…..

Cardinals over Seahawks

Philadelphia (3-1) at Oakland (1-4)

This is a nice second game back for Donovan McNabb, or should I say scrimmage? Perhaps if he tees off correctly in the first half, he can take the second half off just like Eli did last week.

Eagles over Raiders

Buffalo (1-4) at New York Jets (3-2)

I bet Rex Ryan’s defense has a much better game this week.

Jets over Bills

Tennessee (0-5) at New England (3-2)

In Tennessee, things are about to go from worse to horrific.

Patriots over Titans

Chicago (3-1) at Atlanta (3-1)

Hmmm, perhaps I was too quick to judge on the Falcons. Ok, I’ll give them a shot this week. But if Matt Forte tears them a new one, I’m gonna be unhappy.

Falcons over Bears

Monday

Denver (5-0) at San Diego (2-2)

Yeah, I know, I said earlier don’t go against a team coming off their bye week. But at this point, who would you trust more, Josh McDaniels or Norv Turner? I thought so.

Broncos over Chargers

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 5

2009-10-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

The Sporting News, in their latest issue, named Pittsburgh the number one sports city amongst a pool of 399 candidates. You wanna know why? Sure the main reason is two championships this year. But I’ll tell you what really pushed the Burgh over the top. Me baby, me! I’m back, bad and in and about dahntahn!

Opening Kickoff

I like many watched Brett Favre eviscerate the Packers Monday night. And do not even try to tell me that wasn’t about revenge, I’ve seen that performance before, and it’s when Favre is motivated and pissed. That was one of his best games in the last 10 years. Yeah, this move was ALL about revenge. Favre protests otherwise because he still has financial interests in Green Bay.

The Way It Was

Nope, sorry Bungle fans. You will always root for the Bungles. It took you 5 quarters to put away the Browns? Really? And that field goal was iffy at best. Sorry, you had a chance to be Bengals again, and blew it miserably.

The Tennessee Titans are dead to me.

Titan fans are screaming for Jeff Fisher to start Vince Young to try to turn things around. Yeah, a move like that might shake things up, but trust me that’s not your problem. Unless Vince can play cornerback, putting him in the line up is not going to fix your biggest problems.

Raider running back Darren McFadden will undergo surgery to repair torn cartilage in his knee and will miss two to four weeks. I think he’s faking it. I’d do the same thing to put any kind of distance between myself and that train wreck. And somewhere in northern California, Richard Seymour weeps and plots his revenge on Belichick.
For all his drama, Brandon Marshall can deliver the goods. His crazy touchdown run for the winning points was a thing of beauty.

I’m beginning to wonder not if JaMarcus Russell can get worse, but how much worse can he get? I think he may have a game with a negative quarterback rating.

On the field at the end of the game, it looked like Tony Romo forgot the down signaling third down when he just played the fourth down. Of course, Dallas had a lovely little spin to cover up the faux pas. Hey, Romo, TO is gone and so is your “distraction”. So quit screwing up and score me some points you overrated pretty boy.

Boy, did you see the live shots from Brett Favre’s steakhouse Monday night? It sure seemed rather slow for a Packer game. I wonder why….

The more I watch Baltimore this season, the more I think most everyone in the media is wrong. I do not believe they have an offense that matches their defense. I think their offense is better, and their defense is slipping. They couldn’t get off the field on third down all day.

And speaking of Baltimore, here’s hoping Ravens tackle Jared Gaither will be ok. I think all of us held our breath as this young man lay on the Gillette Stadium turf after a scary incident. Another sobering reminder that amidst the fun of football, at its heart is a violent game that can be deadly dangerous.

Unfortunately, that’s not the only bad thing the Ravens endured that day. Honestly, can anyone in the NFL front office tell me with a straight face that those roughing the passer calls on Brady were legitimate, especially the one where he lobbied the referee for the flag?

Our crack investigative team found this little nugget for you, and it seems rather pertinent after last Sunday. Article VI, Subsection B, Point 4b of the official 2009 NFL Rule book states that if anyone brushes past Tom Brady’s skirt and causes it to ruffle, that’s an automatic 15 yards and a first down. But pouncing on Donovan McNabb in the end zone after the play (see Panthers 2009 game) and pounding Ben Roethlisberger into the turf 2-3 seconds after he releases the ball (see any 2008 game) is still cool.

How do the Patriots do it? Their offensive line is a mess and Tom Brady certainly is not feeling his oats. With Fred Taylor out, their running game has more question marks on it than the Riddler’s suit. Their defense is sorely lacking leadership and without Jerrod Mayo missing its best player. Yet they sit at 3-1 and keep winning. How? Ugh, does this mean I have to put my loathing aside pick New England consistently now? I wanna puke.

The Browns traded Braylon Edwards to the Jets for two of Mangini’s guys, a few draft picks, and a ton less aspirin. The final straw, other than a putrid performance, was Edwards getting into an altercation at a club early Monday morning with a gentleman who is good friends with LeBron James. Wow, all of Cleveland will do whatever it takes to keep James with the Cavaliers.

Seriously, NFL players, stop going to clubs. Nothing good happens there. Just ask Plaxico Burress.

The Steel Pit

See? All it took was me in attendance, and I turned that bad boy around! Ok, I know it wasn’t me, although it was tremendous fun to not only soak in yet another game and Heinz Field experience, but to also, finally savor a win at home.

Who did turn it around you ask? An inspired Rashard Mendenhall that’s who. And listening to the roar of the crowd at the beginning of the game, filled with joy, tension, nervousness and just a touch of trepidation, Mendenhall responded like a man who knows he won’t get many more chances.

The Good – The offense. Not only did Mendenhall perform wonderfully, the entire unit did as well. The line blocked well, opening holes I could run through and kept Big Ben clean most of the game. Sure, there was one series he was sacked twice, but that’s why I said mostly. Speaking of which, Roethlisberger threw for over 300 yards and two touchdowns and had the look that Steelers fans should come to expect such games more often in the future. Hines Ward had over 100 yards of receiving and his smile was back, bright and inspiring.

The Bad – the fourth quarter. The defense played a wonderful game through three quarters, but for some reason allowed the Chargers 21 points starting at the end of the third. I really cannot point as to a specific reason on the field, other than a lack of pressure due to coverage play. But on the last defensive series they sure found that pressure when they needed it most. So I’ll only say kind of bad.

The Ugly – the fans. Look I understand the game was on a Sunday night. It was late near the end and most people had to go to school or work the next day. And until midway through the fourth quarter, the game pretty much seemed to be in the bag. But NFL tickets are not cheap, and neither is devoted fandom. By midway through the 4th, I looked around and could see large swatches of empty seats and could only shake my head in disbelief. And what happened after that? Without a full house to inspire the team, or distract and harangue Philip Rivers, San Diego promptly went on a scoring spree. Don’t tell me home field advantage doesn’t mean something, I watched it mean almost too much.

But hey, these are but minor concerns. The team is back on the right side of the ledger, and things are looking up. Bring on the Lions!

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Have you wondered what John Madden is up to these days? Why hanging out in his man cave of course. Oh, but Madden has no ordinary man cave. As mentioned in Sports Illustrated this week, Madden has a 7,000 square foot studio close to home that is outfitted with nine 63 inch HD televisions and a 16 by 9 foot projection screen. Tell me you wouldn’t give an eye tooth to sit there with big John on Sundays snacking on Turducken!

The Redskins, in their extreme intelligence, hired Sherman Lewis, who hasn’t coached since 2004, as a consultant. I cannot imagine what fresh, new ideas he may bring to the equation other than how he likes head coach printed on his business cards one they can Zorn.

Reports have circulated that radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is teaming with St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts to purchase the Rams. The first thing I thought upon hearing this news was, would Rush trade for Donovan McNabb? Of course, that thought went nowhere once I read that some black players have already spoken out they would never play for any team Rush owned. This should get uncomfortably messy.

Eli manning has plantar fasciitis a painful inflammation of tissue in his right foot. If he cannot play, it won’t be nearly the painful as what Giants fans will suffer at the realization that they must welcome the David Carr era.

Our long national nightmare is over. Michael Crabtree signed with the 49ers. Here’s my big question. Mike Singletary has worked really hard to instill a team first attitude amongst the 49ers, and the results have been very positive with the team playing hard, solid football and sitting at 3-1 atop their division. Does he really want at this point to inject such a me first guy who obviously listens to bad advice over common sense into this tight group he has assembled? Couldn’t Crabtree’s presence cause more problems than good? I’m curious as to how the dynamic will change with him on board.

Woof, did anyone else notice Troy Aikman’s bad hair dye job last week? And it was hard to tell, but is he working on a faux hawk cut? Combined with Al Michael’s hair oddity the first week, it would seem announcers are trying to inspire some youthful and very out of place, looks in the booth this season. I can only imagine that Dick Stockton will show up in a few weeks with full blown punk spikes.

Ben Roethlisberger and his offensive line were hosts of the WWE’s Monday Night Raw program this week. I have nothing against wrestling, although I’m not a big fan. But I ask this of Big Ben, by appearing on a wrestling show, you follow in the hallowed footsteps of sports stars Pete Rose and Dennis Rodman. The wrestling guys are cool, but being associated with Rodman and Rose? Is that the company you want to keep?

ESPN.com’s Mike Sando put together a top ten list of players for an MVP watch. This guy is a moron, and an idiot. I cannot see how he could rank Brett Favre second, when he’s not even the MVP on his own team, which would be Adrian Peterson, relegated to fourth. And Tom Brady, how does he even make this list? Is this just a reputation selection? Oh and don’t get me started about Jay Cutler. You know who is conspicuously missing? A certain two time Super Bowl champion that is having his best year so far in an already storied career. Where is Roethlisberger? Honestly, for a multiple champion with already some prestigious records under his belt, Big Ben is treated by the national media like he cut the cheese at the opera. This has only begun to bother me, and we’ll be coming back to this next week.

The Purple Packer Eater

I’ve kept quiet on As The Favre Turns for the most part, but after watching his F.U. performance Monday night, I have to ask why Favre is so bent on sticking it to the Packers. I understand he has a wicked sense of screw you aimed at Ted Thompson and probably well justified, but Favre’s mission of destruction is causing a wake of collateral damage that is wide, deep and disturbing.

Look, the history of the NFL is littered with stories of players leaving teams they became stars on, were the face of and heart and soul of for seasons. Some were about money, some were about fame, and some were just the team felt it was time to go in another direction while the player felt he could still play. The 49ers had this play out terribly with Joe Montana and Steve Young in the early 90’s.

I can see the argument from both sides. The Packers wanted to keep Aaron Rodgers, because they knew he would be their quarterback for the next 10 years. And if he had to sit behind Favre one more season, they might lose him. Favre felt he still had something left, and wanted to play but wasn’t willing to being relegated to a support role. Jerome Bettis openly accepted this in the latter stages of his career, but such a role never works well for quarterbacks.

Some people side with the Packers and others with Favre both sides accusing the other of ego, selfishness and poor treatment. And you know what, they’re all right. The Packers handled the putting out to pasture of their sure fire hall of fame leader terribly. And Favre allowed ego and hubris, as well as a wicked case of indecision, to get in his way of seeing the future of a franchise that made him a very rich, very big star. We like to believe the mythos of the NFL, and the tales of greatness weaved from what happens on the field. But at the end of the day, it is a business, for both teams and players. And each, no matter how loyal they are to each other, or how much players love being on a team or the team loves all a player can do for them, must think of the bottom line at the end of the day. This is a sad case of the bottom line for each side being very disparate from the other.

What bothers me is that Favre, no matter how right he may be in his feelings of disrespect from the Packers, and I think they are probably wickedly overblown and ego inflated, continues on this “non revenge” mission to make Thompson look bad. But all he is doing is making himself look childish, embarrassing a franchise that made him a household name and a legend, and worst of all ripping out the hearts of a loyal fan base that supported him through all the highs, and the very deep lows, of his career.

Packer fans are some of the best in all of sports, and a good argument could be put forth that they are perhaps the best. They loved, and still do love, Favre and all he did for their team. Yet Favre, either unwittingly or uncaringly has torn this fan base apart. And for what? He states it’s not revenge, just an opportunity to keep playing the game he loves and perhaps win one more championship. Yeah, that sounds good. But that’s not what I saw on Monday night, and I’m not the only one who saw it either.

I don’t care if Favre eventually plays for every team in the league, or if he wins 10 Super Bowls or plays until he’s 60. It’s his life, and he can do with it what he wishes. And if he wishes to find new and inventive ways to stick it to Ted Thompson, good on him, perhaps he deserves it. But come on Brett, lay off the Packer fans. Reach out to them, thank them for years of service, and say how much you still love them and all they did for you through the years. Acknowledge that yes, it’s probably hard for them to see you in Viking purple, but hey that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten all their love through 16 wonderful seasons. Show them something that tells them all those years supporting you, cheering you and buying your merchandise were not for nothing. Show you’re human and care. And if you cannot do that, then perhaps Thompson should have kicked you in the fanny when he showed you the door.

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

I give my kingdom for a receiver that scores consistently each week. Well I lost again, this week because once again one of my top performers was my kicker. Although I think all the little things are starting to come together. Yes, I know, I thought that before but this week I picked up Rashard Mendenhall. And he’s playing Detroit! Good Steeler karma will propel me to victory!

He Said He Said

“What's it gonna be next week? Two-hand touch?''- Baltimore pass rusher Terrell Suggs

No Terrell, if you try to do that to Brady, you’d probably be called for illegal use of the hands.

"Being at a loss for words is a good way to put it.'' - Tennessee linebacker Keith Bulluck, on his team's 0-4 start.

As well as a loss of all games thus far. Keep this in mind for a long time Keith, never mess with the Terrible Towel.

“Why, FOX, why? Why show the top 10 plays of Brett Favre's career? How many celebrations of his career have you done, and how many more will you do? What possible relevance do the top 10 plays of his career have this weekend?” – SI.com’s Peter King

You know what’s funny about this? This comment comes from a man who was called in a December 2007 Slate article as “Favre’s most loyal lapdog.” My how times change.

"He challenged me. It was a learning experience." – Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall

Lesson learned, emphatically!

"I don't know how we don't win this every year" – Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl speaking of Pittsburgh being named the number one sports city.

Me either.

"Man, just let us live!" – Steelers tackle Willie Colon in reaction to criticism of the Steelers offensive line.

Willie, I promise to leave you alone as soon as you go two weeks in a row without committing a rookie level mental era. Deal?

“Absolutely embarrassing. Everything is wrong with it right now. I'm not the least bit happy in a lot of areas. I've seen us be tough and physical to soft and bewildered.” – Chargers General Manager A.J. Smith

Uh, A.J., I hate to point out the obvious, but you built this team and hired their coach. If things are embarrassing, and the team stinks, the buck stops at your desk.

Idiot of the week

Yeesh, how in the heck do you pick with such a good week? Of course our aforementioned Mike Sando gets a nomination just for being part of the over hyping Brady and Favre problem. And extra points for ignoring one of the best quarterbacks in the game over several others who have won nothing.

And I would be remiss without nominating Bungles head coach Marvin Lewis. On fourth and 11, with only 64 seconds remaining in overtime, Lewis was going to punt. Carson Palmer had to convince him otherwise. Since when is it ok to play for a tie?

And how can I forget the NFL referees who are apparently so star struck with the wonderfulness of Tom Brady, that with no effort he can Jedi mind trick them into throwing a flag.

But I think the winner this week is Deion Sanders. Neon Deion, in his desperate attempt to stay relevant with today’s player, has taken on several “mentoring” roles that have shall we say, backfired horribly. His advice to Michael Crabtree has produced a young man that will miss half of his rookie season and is looked upon by most people as a stupid, greedy fool for demanding ridiculous money in the worst economy in decades.

Now, he has Oklahoma State receiver Dez Bryant in hot water because Bryant lied abut his relationship with Sanders. Bryant is declared, for now, ineligible to play and could miss the remainder of the season. That would certainly hurt his draft status for next season. Couple that with now Oklahoma State being investigated and could be forced to forfeit wins if it looks like Bryant’s relationship with Sanders was one of a professional nature.

So Sanders’ “mentoring” will cost Bryant college games, that lack of experience and exposure will cost him draft position, which will cost him money. It will cost dozens of players wins, players who will never see an NFL payday. It will cost the university not only wins, but respect and alumni donations.

And then Sunday he went on the NFL Network for an interview to show he’s doing all this for Bryant like a Good Samaritan. No you’re not. You’re doing this because somewhere, you’ll make money off of his talent. He claims he’s doing it to help better these young men and help them escape from troubled backgrounds. He stated his intention is only advise them, give them a role model. And at the same time that stated he believe Bryant lied because he was nervous. Well, if you were really being a good role model, don’t you think he would have taught him is always a good thing to tell the truth?

Sanders claims his intentions are good, and his concern is for more than just these young men as players, but as people and extends to their families and friends as well. But something just smells bad about the fact that two high profile players have been wrapped up in bad situations, and at the center of both is Sanders and his longtime agent Eugene Parker. And just to point it out, Sanders has also helped “mentor” the likes of Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson and DeAngelo Hall.

If this is the kind of advice and help Sanders offers, what young man with NFL aspirations would be “smart enough” to take it? I suggested a few years ago as a joke that Deion should host a reality show in which he does advise new players on how to live large. But I never thought my tongue in cheek suggestion would turn into a show that A) is not broadcast anywhere but in news headlines B) those he mentors take it seriously C) Deion takes it seriously and D) the advice is not merely superficial but creates situations that could affect careers.

Something tells me this is far from over. But in the meantime, for having a raging ego, a desperation to stay relevant, to want to be the Don King of the NFL, for claiming to be only after the best interests of these young men when evidence is starting to point otherwise, for being defiant that what you are doing is good for these young men when the repercussions show otherwise and for being too dumb to know any relationship with college players could at minimum be construed as inappropriate, Deion Sanders you are a massive idiot.

Taking the Week Off

Bears – What else? Continue the Cutler love fest. Bad haircuts for everyone!

Packers – The entire state will go on a beer, brat and cheese bender to try to forget the awful, awful thing that happened Monday. I may join them.

Saints – Drew Brees is taking the offense barnstorming through the Midwest to play semi pro teams. Just the offense though. He wants to show how great his offense is, keep them sharp and that they can win on most fields with only half a team.

Chargers – The unhappy A.J. Smith will personally check each player for their level of cottony softness. I recommend checking Norv Turner for a pulse as well.
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On Tap This Week

Ok, well, I did not win it all last week. Some cat that picked every game correct did that. But hey, it wasn’t too shabby.

Last week: 11-3
Season to Date: 46-16

And even better, the Lady K has extended her overall lead. You go girl!

Sunday

Cincinnati (3-1) at Baltimore (3-1)

No Gaither will hurt Baltimore and Joe Flacco’s ability to work unfettered, but I’m sorry, if you can barely beat the Browns in five quarters how am I supposed to trust you on the road?

Ravens over Bungles

Oakland (1-3) at New York Giants (4-0)

Ugh, Eli Manning could win this game with a broken passing arm.

Giants over Raiders

Dallas (2-2) at Kansas City (0-4)

Ok, if Romo cannot put up big numbers against Haley’s heroes, then the Cowboys should fire everyone, starting with the “general manager”.

Cowboys over Chiefs

Washington (2-2) at Carolina (0-3)

Washington already should fire everyone, starting with the owner.

Panthers over Redskins

Minnesota (4-0) at St. Louis (0-4)

Favre did his work last week. This week, Peterson does his.

Vikings over Rams

Tampa Bay (0-4) at Philadelphia (2-1)

Please.

Eagles over Buccaneers

Pittsburgh (2-2) at Detroit (1-3)

I’m kind of glad Stafford and Johnson will not play. This team looks like it can actually score, so weird. And thank goodness Troy Polamalu will not play. I know we all want him back. But when he comes back, I want him to be healthy enough to do the magical things he does, and more importantly, healthy enough he stays back. I don’t think Pittsburgh will have an issue with this game anyway. Well, unless there’s a controversy during the coin toss.

Steelers over Lions

Cleveland (0-4) at Buffalo (1-3)

If two NFL teams played in northern New York, would it make a sound?

Bills over Browns

Atlanta (2-1) at San Francisco (3-1)

I know Atlanta had a bye week, but I really like this 49er team. Singletary is doing a bang up job, pants dropping and all.

49ers over Falcons

Houston (2-2) at Arizona (1-2)

Ok, time to turn it around Whisenhunt. You had a week to kick some fanny, show us the results!

Cardinals over Texans

New England (3-1) at Denver (4-0)

Revenge of the assistant.

Broncos over Patriots

Jacksonville (2-2) at Seattle (1-3)

Seattle will remain a mess until Hasselbeck is well again. Oh, he’s playing? Hmmm, the straw that stirs the putrid green drink is back.

Seahawks over Jaguars

Indianapolis (4-0) at Tennessee (0-4)

I’m taking the second quarter for when Peyton hits 300 yards for the game.

Colts over Titans

Monday

New York Jets (3-1) at Miami (1-3)

Ok, now Sanchez knows what it’s like to lose in the NFL. How will he respond, in the big lights of prime time? Great question, but I have an idea.

Jets over Dolphins

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 4

2009-10-04T10:06:00.000-07:00

Starting this week, the NFL will take part in raising awareness for breast cancer. All games this month will be designated NFL Breast Cancer awareness games, and the league will be very visual in raising awareness and funds toward research. Stadiums will be outfitted with pink ribbons and players will don pink cleats and gloves while team field personnel and coaches wear a pink ribbon/NFL shield pin. Teams will also have efforts individually to raise local awareness as well. I commend the league for reaching out and supporting a very important cause that means so much too so many. I encourage everyone to join in and support this cause in any way you can, and to see a doctor regularly for exams. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Opening Kickoff

Ok, I get it Jon Bon Jovi, the baseball playoffs are coming. Someone find that boy something else to do. Since the Arena League folded, he has too much time on his hands.

The Way It Was

Detroit’s long nightmare is over after the Lions gutted out a big win at home, their first in 20 games. This definitely wins feel good story of the week. The best part of their big moment had to be Jim Schwartz, sending the Lions back out on the field from the locker room to thank fans for supporting the team through their putrid run. An excellent touch that I’m sure made fans feel special for their loyalty. You stay classy there, Detroit.

Ok, yes, Favre’s final drive was huge. And that touchdown pass to Greg Lewis was on the money where only Lewis could nab it. Plus, let’s give Lewis some huge props for not only grabbing that ball, but also getting his feet down, great receiving work. But come on, it was one game, and not the Super Bowl. But something tells me Viking fans are starting to dream about a February trip to Miami.

Dang it, did I give Bill Belichick an idea? Last week I said he should run the ball and protect Brady until he was back to 100%. And what the heck did he do? I guess he really does get info from every corner.

I think Tom Brady is starting to feel like his old self again. It has been a long while since I saw him throwing a temper tantrum on the sidelines because things are not going perfectly. Just like old times. What an ass.

Yes, I thought Atlanta could beat the Patriots, but I neglected to calculate in one important factor. The Falcons have a weak run defense. I guess that would be important, huh?

Who had a worse week than Ryan Mouton? Poor guy couldn’t buy a hole to crawl into after that mistake riddled game.

Stupid me. You would think after watching this much football, I’d learn something. Going against Peyton Manning, even on the road, when he’s showed last week he doesn’t even need 15 full minutes to dispose of an opponent? Dumb on me. My punishment, no double stuffed Oreos for a week.

The return of Michael Vick occurred over the weekend. Vick had no significant impact on the game and was mostly a decoy. I know some people are very vexed by Vick’s employment in the NFL. To these people in the in the anti-Vick group, I urge you to not worry. Eventually Vick will be treated as the social pariah just as you wish. Trust in Eagle fans to sort this out. As soon as he costs them a game, he’ll face hate and derision like he’s never experienced before.

Speaking of Philadelphia, the Eagles cut Jeff Garcia to bring back linebacker Jeremiah Trotter. Hmmm, seems like Philadelphia is trying to change some mojo as well.

Although he came back, I’m sure it made Redskin fans want to throw up watching Albert Haynesworth carted off the field. Congratulations Dan Snyder that looks like money well spent.

Forget it; I think we have a winner. Dan Snyder is a far worse owner than Jerry Jones. At least Jones has won something once.

Wow, how bad do you feel for Rams fans when they have to rally behind Kyle Boller?

The Steel Pit

Two weeks. Two beatable opponents. Two games where defeat was snatched at the end from the jaws of victory.

For the first time in eight years, the Bungles managed to defeat Pittsburgh in Cincinnati. This game was dominated throughout by the Steelers, and yet, at the end, they were once again holding the short end of the stick. So who’s to blame? What’s the problem this time? Despite missing a very long field goal, I don’t think you can put the goat horns at the feet of Jeff Reed this time.

Candidate #1 Big Ben – Despite the interception returned for a touchdown, Roethlisberger was on target and sharp all afternoon. And that interception came because Holmes ran the wrong route. Sorry, not Ben this time.

Candidate #2 the wide receivers – Yeah, with Santonio Holmes dropping his fourth pass in two weeks coupled with a terrible mental error running his route, and Limas Sweed muffing a sure touchdown, the receiving corps is looking bad. If not for Mike Wallace coming on, it would be Hines Ward on an island. They can easily take blame.

Candidate # 3, the offensive line – I cannot pin this on them. The unit established good protection and created excellent running holes while keeping Big Ben clean until one late game sack. They are most definitely improving.

Candidate # 4 the offensive game plan – for most part the coaching staff called a good game. But they stagnated once again inside the 20, left points on the field instead of finishing drives, and got way too conservative in the 4th quarter with too much time left on the clock. Bruce Arians did well mixing up formations and plays, but for some inexplicable reason went run run pass in the fourth, which caused drives to stall and gave Cincy ample opportunities to stage their comeback.

Plus, why not go for it on 4th and 1 from the Bungle ½ yard line? Obviously the team was not afraid to go for it on 4th down. They did last week in a similar situation and it resulted in a touchdown. Do it this week, and it would have been a demoralizing opening stanza for the Bungle defense. As it were, the Bungles walked off feeling down but not out. And that made a world of difference later.

Candidate #5 the defense – Yes, they played well, but it’s becoming easier to heap a share of the blame on this unit. They did hold up well, but they did not finish strong. Yes, the offense not staying on the field in the fourth quarter and continually giving the ball back to the Bungle offense did not help, and kept the defensive unit much busier at the end but they still need to finish. This much vaunted unit has surprisingly not forced a single turnover the last two weeks. That is a disturbing trend.

Basically, it comes down to finishing. The team played well through the first three quarters, but failed to finish in the fourth. Tomlin, through clenched teeth, said as much during his post game interview and pointedly said this would be a focus of the team this week. And it should be. Teams win when they show the ability to finish thoroughly. Finishing runs, tackles, catches, plays, drives and games, that’s how a good team becomes great. And right now, this team is not finishing any of them. Until they do, things will not get better.

Colon watch: Well, what a surprise, uber right tackle Willie Colon had a holding penalty that killed another drive in the 2nd half. That’s 3 weeks, 3 penalties and three killed drives. 2 holding, 1 false start and a total of 25 penalty yards amassed already. I know Colon is a good tackle, but come on he has been in the league too long at this point to make these rookie mental errors week after week. The watch continues.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

You know, when the league closed I wondered what would happen to all the old assets from the Arena League. It would seem they sold some old uniforms to Seattle. Good gravy those monstrosities were terrible. I heard optometrist offices throughout the greater Seattle area were packed on Monday morning.

Cris Collinsworth, why do you have to tease us? On Inside the NFL this week, Collinsworth started telling a story from back in his playing days, but refused to finish because, part of the story was a bit blue. Yet he left out the hilarious part for us, the viewer, and left the audience hanging. Come on Cris, why must you tease? When you start telling a funny story from your playing days, you gotta finish it! Don’t tease us and stop right before the good part! I still want to know what happened with Boomer.

I’d like to put a note out there to all the broadcasters and sports writers regarding their kid glove treatment of Tom Brady. Quit making excuses for his antics. Stop saying his infantile behavior on the sidelines stems from frustration, or a fierce competitive drive or some other half baked reasoning. Half of the quarterbacks in the league are frustrated every week because things are going poorly, or their off rhythm or just because they’re losing. And from most, you don’t see them on the sidelines ranting like a raving lunatic while tearing their teammates a new cornhole because they failed to haul in a bad pass. When Peyton Manning has a bad game, does he rip apart Reggie Wayne or Tom Moore? No, he sticks his nose in photo print outs and tries to figure out a way to turn the tide. Call Brady what he is, a spoiled brat who cries when he doesn’t get his way, and acts like a smug arrogant self deserving ass when he does.

During the Bungles/Steelers broadcast, Phil Sims slipped and called Chad Ochocinco Chad Johnson. That made me laugh, although not as much as hearing both him and Jim Nantz say Ochocinco all broadcast long. Changing his name and forcing the media to call him Ochocinco may be the most entertaining thing Chad has done.

Did anyone catch TO’s post game interview? It’s not going to be long now before
he blows up. And by his demeanor, it’s gonna be a big one. Stay tuned.

So last week, Todd Haley spent the game screaming at anyone wearing Chiefs apparel. This week, it looked like he just gave up after half time. I’m starting to think Anquan Boldin probably had a point when he screamed at Haley during last year’s NFC championship game. If Haley makes it to Thanksgiving still employed, I’ll be surprised.

Todd Haley appears to be someone in way over his head, but a stubborn attitude and a massive ego will never let him admit to it, so he just increasingly ratchets up his poor coaching, bad decision making and terrible treatment of personnel under the delusion that eventually it will work because it just has to. This is how he’s always done things and look where it’s got him so far!

Hall of Famer Jim Brown called out legend in his own mind holdout Michael Crabtree in an interview this week. Brown called Crabtree’s stance totally ridiculous and told him to get his butt in camp. Hey Crabtree, of all the people in this world to avoid ticking off, I’d put Jim Brown in the top five. Get your butt in camp.

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

Well, my winning ways the previous week did not translate into two in a row. In fact, I had a horrid week. That, of course, will happen when all three of your receivers combine for fewer points than your kicker. Not an optimal situation to say the least.

So I have scrambled a bit this week. Due to the opening bye week and injuries, a few of my starters will be on the bench and my wide receiving corps has been revamped. We’ll see if this does any good. But I learned something very important in looking for replacements. Trading is a very important part of this game.

Here’s what I mean. When I first looked at my team, I had way too many running backs, and not enough of anything else. So I just dumped the ones I did not want and picked up what I needed, no big deal. And each week I had no idea swapping a few minor parts for something that fit better.

But after looking through rosters in searching for receivers, I saw a bunch of my old cast offs had found new homes. Obviously my trash was indeed others treasure. And looking over my competitors, they had pieces that would have done me well and could now be on my team, if only I had proposed a trade.

I know, many of you fantasy veterans are sitting there going, well DUH! But hey, for some of us, this is all new and involves some experimentation. Plus, it’s not like you guys are giving away all your hard won secrets to help out the competition. If you did, you wouldn’t be able to put wicked beat downs on us first timers and follow that up with some pointed, and at times hilarious, smack talk.

So I encourage all newbies like me to use every resource at your disposal, especially trades. Not only will it help improve your team, but also increase camaraderie in your league and make the experience that much more enjoyable.

He Said He Said

“A Ravens team with some offense is a spooky thought.” – ESPN.com’s Gregg Easterbrook

Gregg, I prefer the adjective disturbing.

"I think we're 10 times better than last year.'' – Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco

Once again, disturbing.

“We deserved to win the game.'' – Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer

Yeah, cause you guys just dominated play. Grrrr.

“The bottom line is that we need significant players, and we have quite a few of those, to make significant plays in significant moments." – Steelers coach Mike Tomlin

No kidding. Hello, Harrison, Woodley where are you?

"It's human nature to feel, I didn't use the word revenge, but to prove that you still could play. To prove someone wrong, or prove a group wrong. So you can call it what you want." – Vikings quarterback Brett Favre.

But remember, this isn’t about revenge.

"Why would I just quit something that I'm good at, and something that I have fun doing, just because I'm a certain age?" - Penguins forward Billy Guerin If Brett Favre were this honest about wanting to continue playing football, would anyone really care what uniform he donned? No. See Brett, it’s not that hard to make a simple decision.

“I'll tell what was frustrating to me. I'm always looking for down-and-distance on the scoreboard, and in most stadiums, you can look on the side and see it pretty easily. But in this place, there are mostly ads where that normally is. Miller Lite, Dr Pepper ad screens instead of the down-and-distance. I found it in the corner of the end zone, but it's hard to see.” – Giants tackle David Diehl on the new Cowboys Stadium

Oh no, is not Jones’ new football palace perfect? I imagine making these screens tiny was done to thwart opposing teams, and sell ad space, but wouldn’t it hurt the Cowboy offense as well?

“Re the Seattle shock-green uniforms, which are to the eyes what a triple-espresso is to the heart rate: I didn't hate them as much as I thought I would.” – SI.com’s Peter King

That’s ok Peter; I hated them enough for the both of us. Putrid things.

"You don't realize that your legacy will be based upon how you perform, not how much money you made.” Hall of Fame running back Jim Brown in speaking about holdout Michael Crabtree

I think this should be something Brown tells to every potential NFL player every year at the combine.

"Rich Gannon had been a journeyman quarterback in the NFL for years and we gave him the opportunity of a lifetime to be our starting quarterback. We're the only team that ever afforded him that opportunity.'' – Raiders executive John Herrera, criticizing former Raider Rich Gannon because of his critical comments of the team.

Worst. Franchise. Ever.

Idiot of the week

Speaking of the worst franchise, this week the award of idiot goes to the entire Oakland Raider organization.

Yes, this organization has been a fumbling, bumbling, dysfunctional mess since their appearance in Super Bowl 37. But this season, the goofy dysfunction seems to have morphed into pathetic disaster. I know none of this is a secret, except apparently to those behind the shroud of Al Davis. So why do they win this week? Let’s just take what happened in the last week or so in Raider Land.

“Franchise” quarterback JaMarcus Russell continued his downward spiral toward a 0.0 quarterback rating by going 12 for 21 for 61 yards with 2 interceptions and a 22.6 quarterback rating.

Before the game, the Raider organization attempted to ban former Raider quarterback and current CBS commentator Rich Gannon from the premises, because of critical comments Gannon made concerning the organization. Never mind that Gannon’s comments were accurate and, considering the state of Raider football, required.

When thwarted in their efforts to ban a former team captain from their building because of his honesty regarding the state of his former NFL home, the team instead of accepting Gannon chose instead to drag him through the mud and trash him in a very public and juvenile way.

Now, reducing their relationship with a former team leader to a junior high style fight would easily get them the idiot award. But oh the Raider was not done there.

On Monday, head coach Tom Cable was interviewed by authorities regarding his role in the alleged assault of former coach Randy Hansen that resulted in Hansen suffering a broken jaw and being terminated from the team. Yes, an NFL coach the day after a game in the middle of the season was talking to the cops about breaking a guys jaw.

Honestly, it’s like watching someone suffer a nervous breakdown, except it’s an entire organization, blindly following the orders of a crazed paranoid maniac with who suffers fits of dementia and delusions of grandeur.

Watching this organization melt down used to be funny and for me, quite pleasurable. But it’s now just becoming sad. And it’s odd for me to say it, but I’m actually beginning to feel genuinely bad for Raider fans. The fact that they continue to support this organization which has done nothing to reward that loyalty amazes me and really displays the depth of their fandom. Or perhaps at this point their merely suffering from the Helsinki Syndrome.

So, for 6 years of futility that is spiraling down the drain at an exponentially increasing rate, the Oakland Raider organization, you are all idiots.

Taking the Week Off

With the start of bye weeks, a favorite feature of mine returns. Each week, we peek in on the teams sitting out the coming Sunday’s action and see how they will spend their precious off day.

Cardinals – Coach Whisenhunt will set up a meeting to introduce Kurt Warner to Larry Fitzgerald, since apparently Warner has forgotten Larry is still a part of the offense.

Falcons – Oh, it sounds like Atlanta is going to have some fun. The team has set up a scavenger hunt to try and find their run defense.

Panthers – John Fox will be burning the midnight oil to see if there is any way he can continue to back Jake Delhomme as his quarterback AND win enough games to keep his job.

Eagles – Andy Reid will do what he always does on bye weeks, have some cheese steaks and try to find a way to have a 4 quarterback offense.

On Tap This Week

Ok, I took a few chances last week. And a few of them, lets just say, were less than successful.

Last week: 11-5
Season to date: 35 - 13

Well look at that, despite going the wrong way on a few, I still managed a solid week. And even better, the Lady K increased her overall lead by 2 games. So far, a good start to the season. Let’s see if this solid performance and consistency can be extended.

Sunday

Detroit (1-2) at Chicago (2-1)

Lion fans savored this week like no other fans. The sun was brighter, food tasted better and the air was fresher. Unfortunately, one win only moves them up from horrid to terrible. But it’s a step in the right direction.

Bears over Lions

Seattle (1-2) at Indianapolis (3-0)

I went against Peyton last week. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice then I’m a moron. And I’m not, at least not yet.

Colts over Seahawks

Tennessee (0-3) at Jacksonville (1-2)

I figured out what’s wrong with Tennessee. They should have never stomped on the Terrible Towel. Think about it, they haven’t won a game since. Coincidence? I think not. But this week, all the formidable power of the Towel must be used to right a ship in Pittsburgh, so Tennessee will be out from under its yolk and be able to get back on the right track themselves.

Titans over Jaguars

New York Giants (3-0) at Kansas City (0-3)

Note to all Kansas City fans, don’t bother. Stay out of the stadium. Just remain in the parking lots and eat some of that world famous Kansas City barbeque. Trust me, you’ll feel better.

Giants over Chiefs

Tampa Bay (0-3) at Washington (1-2)

I think for Jim Zorn, it’s not a matter of if he will be canned, but when.

Redskins over Buccaneers

Baltimore (3-0) at New England (2-1)

Forget it. New England had success going run oriented last week against Atlanta, who has a week front 4 on defense. Baltimore does not suffer the same affliction. And Ed Reed will make sure to clean up all those off target passes Tom Brady puts out there. You thought Brady was cheesed last week, wait until after this game.

Ravens over Patriots

Oakland (1-2) at Houston (1-2)

Ewww.

Texans over Raiders

Cincinnati (2-1) at Cleveland (0-3)

At this point, I wonder if Cleveland could win a game of tiddlywinks. And Mangini, trust me, it matters not who starts at quarterback. And if Cincinnati wins big this week like I think they will, I will award then next week by calling them by their given team nickname. But they’re gonna have to earn it first.

Bungles over Browns

Buffalo (1-2) at Miami (0-3)

Pennington is done for the year with a shoulder injury. Will Chad Henne be able to add a deep threat passing game to open up the running game? I don’t know, but I’m just curious enough to give him a chance because if he does, look out.

Dolphins over Bills

New York Jets (3-0) at New Orleans (3-0)

The Jets have my attention as much as the Saints. And despite what the pundits are saying, this game will not come down to the New Orleans offense versus the New York defense. This game will hinge on who performs better, the New Orleans defense or the New York offense. And I think Mark Sanchez might have a bit of trouble in the crazed Superdome. Plus, I started riding the Saints bandwagon in week one and will continue to do so until they throw me off.

Saints over Jets

Dallas (2-1) at Denver (3-0)

Yes, I know, Denver is 3-0. But I venture this, who have they played? Perhaps they are not as big of a mess as previously thought, but for me to trust them in a big game they have to prove it first. And I don’t think they can.

Cowboys over Broncos

St. Louis (0-3) at San Francisco (2-1)

I’m still digging what Singletary is doing with that team. They play tough and almost pulled out a big road win last week. This week, they get the salve of St. Louis, which should indeed help.

49ers over Rams

San Diego (2-1) at Pittsburgh (1-2)

Ok, it ends this week. I washed all the stink of losing off of my Steelers gear. I switched a few pregame rituals, remembering a few I had forgotten. And most importantly, I will be at Heinz Field this evening to turn the mojo around in person. It’s time to finish.

Steelers over Chargers

Monday

Green Bay (2-1) at Minnesota (3-0)

You know, this is a good game between division rivals, but apparently this year it’s more than that and this game will be a big deal. Why you ask? Because apparently Vikings quarterback Brett Favre used to play for Green Bay. I had no idea! Considering these two teams are division rivals, you would think news like that would be a bigger deal. Yeah, I’m slightly fatigued with the Favre versus Packers storyline. And it matters not, Brett’s not winning this game, Adrian Peterson is.

Vikings over Packers

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 3

2009-09-27T09:10:00.000-07:00

After watching the Sunday night game, I think Jerry Jones should follow in Peyton Manning’s footsteps and become a corporate pitchman. I’ve decided to help him out and wrote his first MasterCard commercial.

A star studded opening night home game in prime time – millions made in ad revenue and concession sales.

Filling the stadium with Cowboy legends, a former president and John Madden – thousands spent in added security and VIP accommodations and accoutrements.

Outfitting the stadium with food, beverages and amenities for over 100,000 people to celebrate a colossal opening night – several million seemingly well spent dollars.

Building one new ground breaking football palace - $1.15 billion.

Being caught by the cameras on national television sitting in your luxury suite picking your nose – priceless.

Opening Kickoff

Sunday night was spent peeling my jaw off the floor from the shock of witnessing two Jeff Reed field goal shanks. This is as shocking and unthinkable to Steeler fans as finding out Al Davis was still alive would be to Raider fans.

The Way It Was

Well, you must give Chad Ochocinco, I love saying that, his due. He is a man of his word. He kept his promise and did the Lambeau Leap after scoring a touchdown in Cincinnati’s surprise victory over the Packers. And Packer fans all around the area where Chad leapt must have felt some sort of affection for the fun loving receiver, as they happily signaled Chad as number 1 with a special one fingered salute. You stay classy Green Bay.

JaMarcus Russell went 7 for 24 and still managed to win the game. And those numbers really do not reflect how bad he played and how much of a poor leader he has become. They had a super talent when they drafted Russell, yet this terrible organization is taking this man and developing him into a scrub. So how, exactly, did he win that game? Oh, right, Oakland played the rapidly imploding Chiefs.

Speaking of Kansas City, Todd Haley had a wonderful little sideline meltdown during the game. I think we’re only a few weeks away from Todd having a Dennis Green style post game interview. It’s inevitable, especially since he probably has lost the team.

Well, for their big home opener, Miami trotted out their star studded ownership group. How did the Colts counter? They had Tiger Woods on the sideline, looking ready to hit the back nine. I think that Tiger closing mojo helped the Colts finish off the Dolphins. It’s the only way I can figure they won since they held the ball offensively for less than 15 minutes. Well, that and Dwight Freeney smacking Jake Long around for most of the game.

The Jets scored a big win over Patriots, although with the way everyone was celebrating, you would have thought it was for the AFC championship instead of one regular season game. Color me glad I gave them a chance to back up their big talk. But how long will that high last?

Did you see Tom Brady against the Jets? Did you not see how he looked like he’d rather be anywhere but on that field most of the time? Did you see him hesitate on potential long pass attempts? Did you see him waver when a pass rush came at him? I told you, he will not be the same quarterback until he feels he can trust his knee and gets past the fear of reinjuring it. And right now, his mind is losing that mental battle. I told you it would be a long while before he was right again, and so far, he’s not there or even close. If Belichick were smart, he’d protect Brady and work hard to build his confidence by taking the pressure off of him and focusing on a strong running game. But I doubt Belichick’s ego would allow him to do such a thing.

I didn’t get to watch all of Football Night in America, but what I did see was startling. Peter King was noticeably absent from the stage. I know he had air time, so I can only imagine it was difficult staying composed when all he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sob over the Patriots loss. Its ok Peter, hang in there camper!

Matt Schaub threw for 4 touchdowns against Tennessee? When did he morph into Al Bundy?

I know Albert Haynesworth is a big body and causes a ton of commotion, but his absence cannot be the reason the Tennessee defense became as porous as a food strainer. And no way is Houston that good. The curse of the Terrible Towel continues.

Just a quick question, is there any way Drew Brees and the Saints offense can be stopped? You know, short of having it banned as an assault weapon.

Give Kevin Kolb some credit. Short of a few errors, he did a darn good job in relief and was not the reason Philadelphia lost. The Eagles defense was strafed mercilessly by the Brees aerial assault. You know what; we need to come up with a wicked cool nickname for the Saints offense. Ok, that’s the mission for next week. What do we call this potent offensive attack? Feel free to drop suggestions and ideas.

Who is that guy who punts for Philadelphia? I didn’t catch his name, but by the trajectory and distance of his punts, I’d swear it was Mitch Berger.

The Steel Pit

Bears 17 – Steelers 14

Yuck. Normally, I would not care so much about a loss. I mean the Bears are a tough team and historically Pittsburgh has stunk in the Windy City. What bothered me most about the loss was losing to that whiny brat Jay Cutler. It took a few days for me to stop my tourettes tirade.

But there were a few bright spots. The running game looked slightly better. Mendenhall looks like he wants to try and realizes if he just hits the hole, he’ll get yardage and maybe the full time job. Parker still keeps tippy toeing around, although he did better. The defense did hold the mighty Bears to only 17 points. The offensive line was much improved in pass blocking and had some great run blocks too.

So, what happened? What was the key to the loss? What turned the tide? Where does the problem with the Steelers reside? Who is the goat? Sports radio has been aflame all week trying to determine just that, and the suspects are notable.

Candidate #1 Jeff Reed – two shanked field goal attempts will definitely put you into the driver’s seat here, but I do not blame Jeff. First, he’s made a ton of pressure kicks over the years with no issue whatsoever. Everyone once in a while has a bad game, and Sunday was just that for Jeff. Considering the last time he missed two in a game was 5 years ago, I’ll give him a pass. As long as the next time it happens is 5 years from now.

Candidate #2 Santonio Holmes – Somehow, Tone developed an awful case of butter fingers, dropping three passes including one that would have been the go ahead touchdown late in the game. But, in his defense the conditions were poor and the ball was wet. And, sometimes you just have a bad day.

Candidate #3 Ben Roethlisberger – Actually, Big Ben played a pretty good game, but people tend to blame the quarterback so I didn’t want him to feel left out. He certainly cannot control whether others can hold onto a ball he puts right in their hands.

Candidate #4 the running game – yes, it would be nice to convert in short yardage situations, but they did show improvement. And considering right now they’re not being relied upon so heavily, it’s hard to have them carry the burden of blame.

Candidate #5 the defense – ok, yes stupid penalties on Chicago’s second touchdown drive did not help at all. But, they did keep the game close and only gave up 17 points. I’m sure Titan fans would have been thrilled with such a defensive performance.

Candidate #6 OC Bruce Arians – everyone loves to pick on Arians, my dad included. And Ben’s throw to Tone in the end zone on 3rd and 2 was a major flashpoint all week with fans crowing Arians should have just gone for the first down. First, why not take a chance? As a wise man once said, you play to win the game. Second, perhaps that was his play call. Big Ben said after the game he changed the play because he saw Holmes in single coverage and took a chance. If you really want to get on Arians case, then get on it for not going for it on 4th and 2 on the very next play. He did on 4th and 1 from the goal line, and that resulted in a touchdown. Come on Bruce, fortune favors the bold!

Candidate #7 Willie Colon – ok, he’s not a real candidate. But I did have to slip in my newly created Colon watch. And what happened? Yes, thanks to a false start penalty on the “star” right tackle, one promising Steeler drive was short circuited. I do not understand his accolades, as every week he makes at least one terrible mental error that destroys momentum. And by now, he’s been in the league and a starter long enough to not be making these dumb mental errors. Colon watch will continue next week where we fill out this crackpot idea more.

Now, you could go through the entire roster and assign blame, I’m looking in your direction Ike Taylor, but none of the above reasons or anyone on the roster is to blame in particular. You know what ails the Steelers? The team is missing something vital and we need to bring it back but fast.

Pittsburgh looked flat and lost the game because not once in 60 minutes of football did I see Hines Ward smile. Without him flashing those pearly whites, the offense loses its mojo, guys cannot relax and know all will work out and then they play tight and flat. Come on Hines, give us a smile we need one!

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

This week, former receiver Plaxico Burress began his 2 year jail term by reporting to Riker’s Island. Ok, I know Plax broke the law; I do not dispute or argue with that. And yes, I believe he should be punished for such things. But receiving two years in jail, and starting his term in such a notoriously hard prison as Riker’s Island? Doesn’t that seem like more than a bit of overkill for someone who ended up in this situation for being stupid?

Do you wonder if when he suits up this Sunday, Antonio Pierce will feel bad at all that despite being a part of the Plaxico circus, he runs free and gets to make a living while Burress languishes in a tiny cell?

You know the Browns are in good hands with Eric Mangenius. The brilliant motivator fined a player $1,701 for not paying for his $3 bottle of water at the hotel. With that kind of attention to nonsensical detail, there’s no way Cleveland can fail.

Oh, and it seems there’s been some fighting going on in the Browns locker room. Not a full blown donnybrook, just guys dumping water on each other and then swinging a punch or two. Somewhere, Drew Carey is weeping.

During a radio interview, Redskins head coach Jim Zorn and Redskins legend Sonny Jurgensen got into an argument over Zorn’s play calling regarding a failed half back pass attempting for a touchdown. Being a former quarterback, Sonny obviously took exception to the idea of putting such a key play in the hands of a running back. Zorn defended his play calling with zest and stated he would do the same if Sonny were his quarterback. I say good for Zorn, obviously things weren’t working and he was willing to try something new. And anyway, what does he have to lose anyway? Will anyone be surprised come January when the impulsive Dan Snyder cans Zorn and hires Mike Shanahan? I think not. Go out with your guns blazing Jim!

The NFL fined Steeler safety Tyrone Carter for his hit on Bear tight end Greg Olsen. What I do not understand is why fine a guy if the hit was legal and not penalized during the game? I understand the NFL wants to curb ultra violent hits and keep guys from getting hurt, but they need to be consistent in how they mete out punishment.

Why is Marcus Fitzgerald, brother of uber wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald, twittering about how he thinks Kurt Warner and Larry are fighting and Warner is snubbing Larry? Heck why is this even a story? Why are we looking at Twitter for news? This is the dumbest thing ever and yet we treat every milquetoast post from asinine individuals as though it were earth shattering news. And more importantly, why do we even care about the crackpot thoughts of those who have absolutely no more insight into the internal workings of a team than you or I? Come on people, sniff the smelling salts, come to your senses and ignore this nonsense I beg you!

Cris Collinsworth made a brilliant suggestion on air this week. In regards to non sell outs and empty seats, Cris suggested the NFL fill those empty seats with kids. I think this is a brilliant idea. Not only would it be a great PR move for the league, but it would also give kids an experience they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. And maybe they can get a seat for that girl from their United Way commercials with the crazy hair!

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

In a bitter sweet moment, I logged my first victory with a thorough trouncing of my opponent, although my joy was tempered because of Pittsburgh’s loss. Thank you Chris Johnson. I must admit, this fantasy thing, at least for the first few weeks, has been wickedly addictive.

What did I learn this week? Well, nothing of any strategic value other than make sure who you play will actually play in Sunday’s matchups. Not that I messed it up, but I saw someone who did, and the lost points cost them dearly. So, mental note before tomorrow’s contests, check your injury reports.

Next up, I face off against a gentleman who is undefeated. This should be interesting.

Upon Further Review

The NFL recently fined Cowboys owner Jerry Jones for speaking publicly about upcoming labor issues. Specifically, Jones made comments about revenue sharing and how, according to him, that will be on the way out during the new bargaining agreement talks. If this comes to pass, the NFL we know it will be destroyed.

Jones, and owners of his ilk such as Washington’s Dan Snyder, hates the idea that money they bring in is shared with smaller market teams like Kansas City and Green Bay. His thought process is that if he makes it, why should he share it and help out the competition. Since we live in a capitalist society, this is a rational thought that makes a ton of sense. However, Jones misses the big picture as to how this applies to the NFL.

Right now, all Jones can see is an expensive, yet underachieving football team that he feels can be fixed by throwing more money at the problem. As well as a very hefty price tag for a brand new stadium. And shilling out cash he could use for his own issues is rubbing him the very wrong way.

Now mind you, it’s not like all the money Jones brings in under the Cowboy brand goes back into the NFL pool. Actually, he has been very creative in finding new and innovative revenue streams that remain untouched by anyone but him. But still like anyone of wealth, he cannot stand the idea of sharing what he has with others, no matter how much such sharing in this instance may benefit him in the long run.

If revenue sharing is removed from the NFL, it will cause a horrid domino effect that will end up destroying even the premise of competitive balance, cause more than a few teams to shutter their operations and ruin the popularity of the sport.

Without additional money, small market teams will spend less on players, facilities and development in order to stay solvent, leaving them at a major disadvantage when playing against teams that can afford nothing but the very best. And with the added money in their coffers they no longer have to share, large market teams will spend ridiculous amounts of money on players knowing others in small markets could never match such prices. This will drive up free agent costs, leaving players who want and can command the biggest payday with only a few options to look at, and thus those few big spending teams will continue to be fully stocked with the best talent.

When fans begin to see how their favorite team has become nothing but a doormat or dumps players to save a buck or cannot compete with rising player prices and stop trying, they will turn away not only from that team, but also the league in disgust. When fans begin to fall away, popularity will drop, overall revenue for the league will fall and before you know it, the NFL will be fighting with the NBA, MLB and NHL for position of top dog.

Yes, revenue sharing is contrary to a capitalist system, but it has been a boon to the NFL and all franchises involved for many years. It is one of the key reasons the NFL skyrocketed to the top of the professional sports heap and has not been seriously challenged for that spot for many years now. If it should disappear, so will the competitive balance the NFL has enjoyed for so long as well as the dominance the sport has had over the other professional leagues in North America.

One of the reasons people tend to steer away from Major League Baseball is because they become sick of watching the Yankees and Red Sox and 28 also rans every single year. And why do we see these two teams constantly? Because they have all the revenue and resources and the other teams just become nothing more than farm teams to funnel players toward these teams. If Jones has his way, that is exactly what the NFL will become, just replace Yankees with Cowboys and Red Sox with Redskins.

The NFL will become 6 big spending big market teams and 26 also rans who operate as nothing more than talent development clubs. And after a few years that number will drop from 26 to 20 or perhaps even lower. Sadly, some of those teams that disappear will be long time NFL franchises that have been historical cornerstones of the league. If they should disappear, then Jones will not only have destroyed competitive balance and the NFL’s dominance, but also altered and perverted the history of the NFL.

If we have learned anything of Jones’ acumen over the years, it’s that he is a talented business man who should keep his nose out of the specifics of football operation. The more he becomes involved and monkeys with his own team, the worse it gets. He enjoyed his greatest successes as an owner when he let others with more football knowledge do the dirty work. When he got tired of sharing the spotlight with Jimmy Johnson, he canned him in order to be lauded for making a champion himself. Since then, his team has languished between mediocrity and irrelevant. Jones lets his ego speak for him, and the results have ranged from silly to damaging. If he continues on this path to eliminate revenue sharing, those results will extend to disastrous.

Perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps if revenue sharing such sky is falling predictions will not come true. I know with a new collective bargaining agreement there will be multiple financial layers that will play important roles in the direction of each team and the league itself. And since nothing is written on paper yet, who knows what the final result may be. But just watching how the NFL has run, and succeeded, and taking away a key part of that success only tells me nothing good can come from it.

I urge Jones and the other large market owners who support such a plan to think this issue through before acting further. Because, right now these men have the knife poised at the throat of the golden goose that funds them, their teams, lifestyles and egos. And the more they move forward with this eliminating revenue sharing, the closer they come to pulling that knife and killing that goose. And if that should happen, everyone will lose in the end.

Idiot of the week

Well, I think I’m gonna have to give this week’s award to master egomaniac Jerry Jones. Oh I know, the reasons are multiple and this could be an easy call. So what pushes Jerry above all others?

Was it losing at home during his night in the spotlight? Or getting caught on camera picking his nose? Maybe spending such a ridiculous amount of money on a football stadium? Or having a gigantic TV above the field that could interfere with the ball in play? Might it be his constant meddling in the football side of the Cowboys has assembled a team unable to win big games and a coaching staff unable to build a championship caliber team? Was it his ridiculous, and potentially dangerous, comments regarding the elimination of revenue sharing? They contributed, but none was the clincher.

No, what really got Jones this week was having Jordin Sparks sing the national anthem. Now, mind you I thought Sparks did a great job and would love to see her belt out our national anthem and many more games. That young lady has a great voice and really knows how to sing. But the Cowboys were playing the Giants. And Sparks is the daughter of former Giant defensive back Phillippi Sparks. So to inaugurate your stadium, you tab for the anthem the daughter of a man who played for your opponent. Odd choice to say the least, and may have played a factor in the Giants win, karma-wise. When you add in all those other elements from above our choice this week was crystal clear. Jerry Jones, you are an idiot.

On Tap This Week

So, for the second week in a row, someone in my house was tied for the lead Monday night and needed to win the points tiebreaker to take the week. This week it was me! But unfortunately, I fell to the same fate as the Lady K and missed by 4 points. Number 4, you are my bane! And for once, I’m not referring to you Favre!

Last week: 11-5
Season to date: 24 - 8

The plus side is that after two weeks, the Lady K and I are 1 and 2 in the poll. How’s that for sweet! Ok, let’s not screw it up this week…

Sunday

Kansas City (0-2) at Philadelphia (1-1)

McNabb will most likely be sidelined again, and Kevin Kolb will get another start. Michael Vick, however, will be available to play. If Kolb screws up in any way, the quarterback controversy will strike like a hurricane. As it is, and knowing how reactionary Philly fans can be, it most likely will strike with some force come Monday regardless. It will especially happen if Vick gets into the game and does something special. No matter what, it should be an interesting day in Philadelphia. Sorry KC, you are part of the side show now.

Eagles over Chiefs

Green Bay (1-1) at St. Louis (0-2)

Like all Packer fans, I did not like what I saw from Green Bay last week. However, there is no way to like anything from a team that has scored a total of 7 points in two weeks.

Packers over Rams

San Francisco (2-0) at Minnesota (2-0)

Hmmm, now here is an intriguing match up. Both have yet to be tested. And I have mentioned I do love the Singletary way. But I’m going to give the edge to All Day Peterson at home.

Vikings over 49ers

Tennessee (0-2) at New York Jets (2-0)

I’m going out on a limb here. Tennessee is reeling, desperate and cheesed off. The Jets, however, are soaring high after disposing of Brady and company. I smell a let down game.

Titans over Jets

Atlanta (2-0) at New England (1-1)

New England has porous offensive line and a quarterback with some serious doubt issues. They also have a defense devoid of leadership and perhaps their best player. And yet, I still have doubts. But you know what, fortune favors the bold.

Falcons over Patriots

Jacksonville (0-2) at Houston (1-1)

If anything, I can learn from past mistakes. Houston has owned Jacksonville in recent years. And since they finally found their offensive mojo, I do not see that trend ending.

Texans over Jaguars

New York Giants (2-0) at Tampa Bay (0-2)

After two weeks, it would seem Tampa Bay is a bigger mess than Denver. Facing a hot Giants team will not help reverse that trend.

Giants over Buccaneers

Washington (1-1) at Detroit (0-2)

Usually when everyone jumps on a band wagon, that’s a good sign to avoid said band wagon at all costs. But I do actually, for once, like Detroit’s chances against the offensively challenged Washington squad. Ok, give me another cup of that Kool-aid.

Lions over Redskins

Cleveland (0-2) at Baltimore (2-0)

Look Cleveland fans, a successful young quarterback and a real defense.

Ravens over Browns

Chicago (1-1) at Seattle (1-1)

Jay Cutler is not good on the road in a hostile environment. But Matt Hasselbeck makes the Seattle offense go, and if he cannot then I like them even less no matter where they play.

Bears over Seahawks

New Orleans (2-0) at Buffalo (1-1)

Buffalo bounced back nicely from their week one loss. But until some team finally shows everyone else how to harass Drew Brees into a mistake, I’m all about grabbing some beads and heading toward Bourbon Street.

Saints over Bills

Miami (0-2) at San Diego (1-1)

Wasn’t it last year, when Miami hit 0-2, that they went nuts? Yes it was. Eh, three time zones on a short week is difficult to overcome. Even if you’re facing Norv Turner.

Chargers over Dolphins

Denver (2-0) at Oakland (1-1)

I am far from convinced Denver is a functional, top tier team. However, I’m even further from being convinced Oakland is an NFL team.

Broncos over Raiders

Pittsburgh (1-1) at Cincinnati (1-1)

Do you realize that if not for a fluke play, the Bungles would be undefeated? Weird, right? That kind of nonsense cannot last. Much like Pittsburgh’s rather flat performances as of late. I say Tomlin and company gets nice and healthy against a familiar punching bag, I mean foe.

Steelers over Bungles

Indianapolis (2-0) at Arizona (1-1)

I know Peyton took that game away from Miami last week, and I liked his ice cold assassin nature at the end of the game. But even he cannot save a game if his defense is on the field for ¾ of the game, especially if his opponent has a two dimensional offense.

Cardinals over Colts

Monday

Carolina (0-2) at Dallas (1-1)

Jerry Jones will get his big fancy victory in his big fancy new stadium. Oh happy day.

Cowboys over Panthers

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 2

2009-09-20T08:11:00.000-07:00

Did you get your NFL fill last weekend? Did everyone wake up Monday morning feeling full and satiated like after Thanksgiving from all the football action? No? Well guess what, the buffet is open again!

Opening Kickoff

Thank you DIRECTV for the free NFL Sunday Ticket weekend! With the entire football slate open to me, I literally watched some of every game available. It almost became too much football, and I came close to overdosing. Mercifully I took a break to watch the series finale of King of the Hill. In my opinion, a very good, understated ending to a widely underrated show. Sad to know there will be no more new episodes, I’ll tell you what.

The Way It Was

The Bears armor has been destroyed. Cutler showed he has tendencies more like Jim Miller than Sid Luckman. Brian Urlacher, the heart of their defense, is gone for the season with a wickedly painful sounding dislocated wrist. Their two biggest weapons from last year, Forte and Olsen, were horribly underutilized. Monsters of the Midway, the Chicago Bears. Chipmunks maybe but Bears, never.

Welcome to the Delhomme meltdown part 2. I think I’ve seen this show before somewhere. Of course the Panthers are behind him, what else do they have in reserve? Oh right. Hello? A.J. Feeley? What’s up buddy? Ya busy?

One week in, and Donovan McNabb has broken ribs. To compensate, the Eagles bring back to the fold Jeff Garcia. So now the quarterback room consists of McNabb, Garcia, the questionable Kevin Kolb and the lightning rod Michael Vick. T-minus one week until a full fledged quarterback controversy maelstrom strikes Philadelphia. That’s one of the annual signs of fall, isn’t it? Like a Favre retirement is a sign of spring?

I watched Adrian Peterson on Sunday eviscerate the Browns. And no doubt, Peterson is otherworldly. But keep in mind they ARE the Browns. However after watching his performance, does Tomlinson really believe he’s better than Peterson? Seriously? He just cannot, especially after Tomlinson fumbled early in his Monday night season debut.

Wow, what a wild freaky ending to the Denver/Cincinnati train wreck. But that just shows why the Bungles are the Bungles. All they had to do was stop Kyle Orton, who will never be confused with John Elway, from going 87 yards in 20 seconds. That’s it. Now do you understand the power of the neck beard?

I loved Brandon Stokley hesitating before entering the end zone to milk extra time off the clock and prevent the Bungles extra time to run more than one desperation play. Stokley made a very smart move and showed his football acumen with his understanding of how the end game works.

Hey, where was Ochocinco’s big moment? He must be waiting for the right time, like when the Bungles are relevant. I hope I live that long.

Let’s face it, Denver got uber lucky. I mean, when you line up to receive a punt, and do not notice your opponent is running a fake punt with no punter on the field, and get fooled by that formation? Although in Denver’s defense, they probably figured that the Bungles just forgot to send out a punter and would hike the ball 15 yards backward.

Oh, speaking of this game, could someone check on Gus Johnson and make sure he didn’t blow a gasket calling that touchdown run? I think I heard something snap as he bounced off the walls of the booth.

Good for Houston fans for booing. I would to if I had to call that my team.

Wow, surprisingly KC really gave Baltimore a game. Is that a sign they have a touch of life, or Baltimore got a bit sloppy? I’m going sloppy.

By the way, I do not like the idea of a Ravens offense putting up 38 points. Not one bit.

I swear these football video games are just getting way too realistic. I watched someone playing a game between New Orleans and Detroit, and as the dude working the Saints controls kept racking up the points, I’d swear the video Drew Brees looked real! But I realized he just couldn’t be when he never broke a sweat.

I love love love what Mike Singletary is doing with the 49ers. They played tough and never took a down off. Eventually, that kind of ethic he’s building into that team will pay off in big ways.

Awww the Cardinals hung their NFC championship banner on Sunday. Way to celebrate 2nd place guys.

Boy, Seneca Wallace wore some very bright neon green shoes Sunday. I could see them from the Space Needle.

Is it just me or are Ed Hochuli’s guns a bit smaller? Has he gone with a lower caliber, to contain the collateral damage those pythons can cause?

Poor Larry Foote, what a rough, long day. Unfortunately, this will not be the first game like this for his undermanned Lions. It’s only going to get longer. And did you hear the announcers compare his move from Pittsburgh to Detroit like breaking up with Beyonce to date Whoopi Goldberg? What a wicked Whoopi burn, and she didn’t even do anything.

Did anyone notice that with pressure from the defense, Tom Brady looked hesitant especially with long throws? He does look healthy and accurate, but I don’t think he trusts his knee quite yet. Hopefully, that hesitation lasts all year.

Ahhh the Oakland Raiders – new coach, new philosophy, new season, new hope, and yet the same old terrible clock management. Why, in the waning moments of a game, with your opponent behind and out of time outs, would you call a time out and give your opponent another opportunity to run an additional play? That extra time made the difference and allowed Sproles to score. Good job dim wits.

Richard Seymour played his first game as a Raider with passion, determination and anger. Obviously he wants a new contract somewhere else next season and is channeling the anger he feels from being betrayed by Beli-cheat onto the field and inspiring the rest of the defense. Perhaps Al Davis is not completely crazy. Nah, I’m not ready to live in that world.

Houston defensive back Dunta Robinson, unhappy with his contract situation, wrote "pay me Rick" on his shoes to make a point to the Texans general manager. Dunta allow me to offer you a piece of advice. Such displays work much better when you're not getting smoked by a rookie quarterback at home.

The Steel Pit

Ok, the good news. The Steelers won a tough game, albeit messily, against a top tier opponent to start their title defense at 1-0. Big Ben looks like he is finally going to be included in the discussion of elite quarterbacks of the league and Santonio Holmes picked up right where he left off at the end of last season. And the defense allowed only 10 total points for the game. The icing on that cake is exquisite.

The bad news? The running game was non existent. The offensive line had no push when it came to grinding out tough yards and, while providing good pass protection still was enough of a sieve to allow 4 sacks. And the defense lost a major weapon when Troy Polamalu was injured with a strained MCL. Luckily, Troy will only be missing 3-6 weeks, and I figure closer to 6 so we will not see him and his brilliance again until November. But we will see him again this season.

Is it panic time? Oh heck no. While the team definitely has a few weak spots on which to work, things look good. And give Tennessee credit, they are a good team who plays Pittsburgh extremely tough and were very motivated to make a point that they should have been hosting last Thursday’s game and hoisting a championship banner.

My notes of the game revealed a few interesting highlights and low lights. Let’s take a quick gander back.

I may be developing a crush on Daniel Sepulveda and Stephan Logan. Wow, so this is what it’s like to have a team with viable and dangerous special teams’ options.

The defense, other than Troy, was not at their usual ferocity early in the game. After yet another amazing Polamalu play, the Lady K said, “Is Troy the only one working tonight?”

And then Troy had the highlight reel one handed interception.

That pass interference call on Polamalu was total crap, no matter that it was negated by a Tennessee penalty. The fans expressed their displeasure at the poor officiating in appropriate ways.

Farrior had a nice sack and a wonderful blocked kick and the defense ramped it up as the game went on. But I think I’ll be asking this question often this season. Where are the holding calls on James Harrison?

In replacement of Timmons, Keyaron Fox played smart and tough football. We just keep building linebackers in Pittsburgh.

Why when a player gets injured, must we see the super slow mo replay more often than the Zapruder film? I kept wanting to throw up watching Troy’s knee buckle.

Hey, there’s Snoop Dogg, chillin at Heinz Field. Why didn’t he do a little pre-game show? I would have dug that more than Tim McGraw.

Oh look, Willie Colon screwed up to sabotage a drive. Can they honestly say he’s one of the best right tackles in the league? Every week I see him either whiff on a block or get a holding call that short circuit a promising drive. Every week. Next week we’ll start the Colon watch.

After watching Frank Summers, one thought keeps creeping into my head. They should have kept Isaac Redman.

This is why Big Ben got a big paycheck. Two drives with the game on the line in the 4th quarter and overtime = two scores and a win.

And speaking of paying, Art Rooney, pay Jeff Reed. If he hasn’t proven just exactly how clutch of a kicker he is by now, he never will.

Hines Ward fumbling the ball was one of the weirdest sights I’ve every seen. I think for him too because at first he just looked shocked. And then he looked pissed. Like that man needs further motivation. I feel bad for the Bears next week.

Is Steeler football running the ball, or is it morphing into a passing team? I think we’re being too specific. I think Steeler football can be described much more accurately and allow variations to offensive philosophy. Steeler Football is about winning. Sounds better, is extremely accurate, and allows Big Ben to have 300 yard passing days without old school fans having a conniption fit.

The Steelers will have another tough one this week in Chicago. But with the resolve I saw in pulling together to dispatch a fierce opponent, I think we’ll see Pittsburgh look even better in their road debut.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Matt Birk, Lofa Tatupu and Sean Morey have pledged to donate their brains upon their passing to a study on the effects of concussions. While some retired football alumni have done so already, they are the first active players to do so, and by getting this commitment from men still active, it is a major breakthrough in the advancement of study of the affects of repeated concussions. I love to see progress in this matter, because of all the wonderful physical gifts athletes have, their most important organ, just like all of us, is our minds. And finding new ways to protect and understand it means much for our growth as humans.

So, have you heard that Brett Favre said he may not play all 16 games? Yup, you read that right. And you’re reading into it correctly as well. It seems by this innocuous statement, he’s planning to retire during the most difficult part of the season, and then unretire again, and then re-retires when the meat of the stretch run happens, and then unretires AGAIN when the playoffs are locked up. Wow.

In the new cathedral to Jerry Jones’ ego, the facilities include a 5,500-square-foot beer storage room. That’s more space than my house and three other friends’ houses combined. FOR BEER! Stunning.

Did Al Michaels get hair plugs? The top of his noggin sure looked different at the start of this season.

Success, as they say, breeds success. And the proof can be found with the prominent Steelers in advertising campaigns. Troy Polamalu plugging Head and Shoulders. Willie Parker appears now in a Sprint advertisement. And Jeff Reed is lending his recommendation to a local sports psychiatrist. I hope the towel dispenser incident did not mandate this.

The NFL fined Eric Mangini and the New York Jets combined $125,000 for failing to report on injury reports last season the extent of Brett Favre’s bicep injury. So what? Isn’t that the normal modus operandi for Bill Belichick? Didn’t he list Tom Brady as “questionable” for the entire 2007 season?

According to a study, Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan is the most handsome man in the NFL, due to his almost perfectly symmetrical face. Ok, maybe by some stuffy scientific standards Ryan may be the most handsome man. But can his smile light up an entire city? I think not.

In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

Ok, one week in, and I’ll admit it. Despite my protestations and constant fun making, I am having a blast with fantasy football. Go ahead feel free to make fun of me mercifully because I know I deserve it. The planning, the thinking of who may do well, the guess work, the luck, the constant thinking of football and strategy, it’s quite the fun time and I’m more surprised than anyone to say right up my alley. Plus I enjoy discussing matchups and line ups with a good friend who is also in the league. So yes, make fun I deserve it. But I don’t care!

Turns out I’m not the only newbie to the fantasy realm this year. So is Seattle quarterback Matt Hasselbeck. I thought this was kind of cool, until I read he was convinced to do it by his twitter followers. *Shudder* Just saying that makes me feel dirty. I know I turned my opinion on fantasy football, but I guarantee this. No Twitter for me, ever. Well, unless someone is paying me gobs of money, then I may consider it for a second.

Ok, so what did I learn in week one? I learned two important things. One, it’s important when putting together your lineup to look and see who those players are going facing on the field. If they are playing a crappy team, that will help you immensely in racking up the points. I made a mistake in starting tight ends, and left 12 points on the table. Not optimal. But it’s a learning process.

The other thing I learned is even if you have a good team that racks up 93 points, like I did; you’re going to get killed if your opponent has Drew Brees strafing the Lion defense. Even if I had those 12 points from above, I still would have been 20 short. Lesson learned.

Upon Further Review

With the fines to Mangini and the Jets regarding proper filing of injury reports, I feel this week an open secret needs to be revealed. The NFL’s policy on injury reports is nothing but a gigantic sham. The premise of these reports is that by letting other teams know the proper health status of your players, it allows your opponent to properly prepare and increases competition.

The truth is, the only people injury reports benefit are gamblers and fantasy football players. Each team prepares for their opponents through study, film work, scouting reports and with the thought that every member of the opposing team will be 100% healthy and active. They leave nothing to chance, and good teams never rely on the hope that someone may be too banged up to go forward. Plus, each team understands the reality of football. That reality is that everyone gets aches and pains from the violent game they play, and teams and players find ways to work through that to perform at their best on Sundays.

However, gamblers looking for an edge want to know every detail as possible. Would someone looking to drop $1000 on, say, Patriots at Jets be influenced if they knew Tom Brady was nursing a strained abdominal muscle, or if it looked like Thomas Jones may not play with a pulled hamstring? You bet your fanny they would. It would change betting lines drastically and how much money flowed into Las Vegas and betting houses everywhere.

And with the proliferation of fantasy football, injury reports are as important as schedules and opponents. It changes millions of line ups around the world. It makes all the difference for each player as they try to decide who to start, Rivers or Manning. If one has a sore shoulder, well he sits on the faux bench.

As a concept, I have no problem with injury reports. Fans want to know the status of their team in general and it helps temper expectations if they know whether their star player will be ready to go come Sunday. My problem is with honesty. Injury reports only benefit fans, gamblers and fantasy owners. They do little or nothing for teams specifically.

If the NFL really wants to keep them self separated from gambling, they should eliminate the injury report. But if they continue on their path of courting gambling subtly, which they are by allowing team branding on scratch off lottery tickets, then they should just be honest about whom these reports truly benefit and drop the pretenses regarding gambling. After all, who here is not involved in some sort of fantasy league, office pool or placed a bet at a sports book just for fun? I think that includes everyone but the Amish, and considering how some of their youngsters have dabbled in cocaine in the recent past perhaps they’re tracking the spreads too.

He Said He Said

"I've never seen anything like that." - Carson Palmer, on Denver's winning score.

Considering he’s been a Bungle since 2003, how is that possible?

"I watched Brett Favre today. Very impressive. Went the whole game without retiring.” - Jay Leno, interviewed by Bob Costas at halftime of NBC's Sunday night game.

Zing!

"They recovered a fumbled kickoff by the Bills, and scored the winner on another Brady-to-Watson touchdown with 50 seconds left, finishing off a scintillating 25-24 in Brady's breathless return to football after 2008 knee surgery." – SI.com’s Peter King

Scintillating? Breathless? Peter, easy now. I know you broke up with Favre, but you’re going a bit over the top now with your growing bromance with Brady. He’ll only hurt you in the end.

"Get your hats on. We're gonna score before the two-minute warning, get the ball back, then we're gonna score again and win this thing!'' – Patriot quarterback Tom Brady before the second to last scoring drive

Get your hats on? That’s your inspiring words Tom? Wait, are they tiny hats? Do they have a newly unveiled yet dopey personal logo on them?

"There's no question I'm very blessed that this scenario has come about rather than any worse scenario." – Steeler safety Troy Polamalu discussing his injury.

How this man views life continues to just blow me away, and inspire as well.

“At times on Sunday, Flacco looked like a young Ben Roethlisberger.” – Fox Sports Jason Whitlock

Yeah, I can see that. And I do not care for it one bit.

"I love that guy. He was one of the main reasons I wanted to re-sign here. I love blocking for him and he's our quarterback." – Panthers tackle Jordan Gross

For now.

“We’re not going to panic.” – Panthers defensive end Julius Peppers

Exactly when, then, will it be ok to panic? Carolina fans want to know.

“The tequila itself wouldn't cause weight gain; it would be everything that went WITH the tequila, right? If you drink a lot, you're going to eat late-night food … and you're going to be lazy the next morning, which always leads to pizza or other bad food.” – ESPN.com Bill Simmons

Thanks Bill, that’s what I said! Nice to have some common sense backing me up.

“Not a fan.” - former Viking quarterback Fran Tarkenton when asked about Brett Favre.

Ouch.

"You go out from the first quarter on, from the first play on, and try to embarrass them. Not just go out there and try to win, try to embarrass them. Try to make them feel bad when they leave here. We don't want to just beat them. We want to send a message to them, 'We're not backing down from you and we expect to win this game, and it's not going to be luck, it's not going to be a mistake.' “– Jets safety Kerry Rhodes discussing this week’s showdown with the Patriots.

Kerry, I hate to say it, but you’re poking the bear. Just ask Anthony Smith.

Idiot of the week

Some weeks, you really have to look for the idiot. This week, they advertised. Actually the competition was stiff, and the nominees all deserving.

There was Jay “franchise savior” Cutler laying a big egg on the not so frozen tundra. I personally enjoyed that one.

I could have nominated Jake Delhomme, but that boy is having too much trouble as it is, and I didn’t want to pile on like everyone else.

More deserving than Jake would be his coach, John Fox. Fox saw what happened to Jake in last years playoffs, and did nothing to hedge his bets that Delhomme may have lost his game. In fact, he gave him a fat contract extension and no viable backup. Pretty idiotic, if you ask my opinion.

No, this week our winner is Buffalo Bill Leodis McKelvin. You remember McKelvin, fumbling the kick return Monday night, allowing the Patriots to recover and then score the go ahead points in the waning moments of the game.

Now, many said McKelvin shouldn’t have run the ball out of the end zone, and perhaps not. But that is his job to advance the ball. He’s not an idiot for that. He’s not and idiot for fighting for every yard he could get. That is also his job. Now, the worm turns on young Leodis for neglecting to protect the ball and get on the ground as soon as the Patriots had him wrapped up. He kept fighting when the better, and smarter, part of valor, would have been to surrender. And while idiotic, that moment is not why he wins this week.

He wins because when asked about it afterward and what he would change about the sequence, he said he would do it all the same again. Leodis, please pay attention. If you make one mistake, it is an error and you work to correct it. If you make the same mistake again, then you are either dumb, unable to learn or purposely trying to screw up. And for that, you are an idiot.

This week, I award a title of Co-idiot to the Buffalo teenagers who, in frustration and anger after the game, vandalized McKelvin’s lawn during the week. Guys, I know a loss like that is frustrating and hurts. But good gravy, just boo the guy at the next game, don’t destroy his property or possibly cause harm to him or his family. Not only is that stupid, but dangerous and illegal you idiots.

On Tap This Week

Well that’s week one in the books. Unveil the results!

Last week: 13-3
Season to date: 13-3

Hey, that’s off to a great start! I’d crow a bit, but the Lady K housed me by going 15-1 and missed winning the week by a lousy, stinking 4 points in the tie breaker. Stupid Arizona! Ok, since I now have to play catch up, in my own home no less, how about we find out what damage we can inflict this week.

Sunday

Houston (0-1) at Tennessee (0-1)

Wait I thought this was Houston’s year! No? Not yet? It won’t be this week either. A road game against a cheesed off Tennessee team? I smell a big Chris Johnson day.

Titans over Texans

New Orleans (1-0) at Philadelphia (1-0)

Ok, Philly destroyed Carolina with a fabulous defensive performance but paid a hefty price. And I think we all saw just what a motivated New Orleans offense can do. This might be the toughest pick, and one of the most enjoyable games to watch all weekend. Ok, let’s go road magic.

Saints over Eagles

Arizona (0-1) at Jacksonville (0-1)

Ok, I know Jacksonville played the Colts tight on the road. And Arizona looked lethargic at home in their season debut. But I just believe Warner and company will snap out of it, and what better time than against a questionable Jags team.

Cardinals over Jaguars

Oakland (0-1) at Kansas City (0-1)

I hate to say this, but I was surprisingly impressed by the physicality of Oakland Monday night. They ran hard and hit harder. Might they have finally turned a corner? Who knows. But the current mess that is Kansas City should not be too much of an issue.

Raiders over Chiefs

Cincinnati (0-1) at Green Bay (1-0)

I am excited to see Ochocinco fulfill his promise to do a Lambeau Leap if he scores a touchdown. Unfortunately, he hasn’t scored a touchdown on the road in 34 months.

Packers over Bungles

Minnesota (1-0) at Detroit (1-0)

Another crappy team, another massive day for Adrian Peterson.

Vikings over Lions

St. Louis (0-1) at Washington (0-1)

If Washington doesn’t win this game, Dan Snyder needs to be traded.

Redskins over Rams

New England (1-0) at New York Jets (1-0)

Despite Peter King’s gushing, I have doubts about Brady. Not physically, as he seems fine, but with his confidence in his knee. And I’ve seen enough of this kind of injury to know the hardest part to heal is the psyche. As for the Jets, well they took a hit with a weakened Kris Jenkins and a bunch of trash talk, which always leads to danger especially when New England is prominently involved. But you know what? I’m gonna take a chance that New York’s butt can cash the checks Rex Ryan’s mouth has been writing. But they only get one chance.

Jets over Patriots

Carolina (0-1) at Atlanta (1-0)

Carolina is about two games away from a massive implosion. This is game one.

Falcons over Panthers

Tampa Bay (0-1) at Buffalo (0-1)

To coach Dick Jauron: If you are ahead at the 55 minute mark, do NOT let off the gas!

Bills over Buccaneers

Seattle (1-0) at San Francisco (1-0)

Like I said, I love what Mike Singletary is doing with his team. But I like Hasselbeck to T.J. just a tiny big more.

Seahawks over 49ers

Baltimore (1-0) at San Diego (1-0)

Let’s see, an underachieving Chargers team, surrounded by the Merriman/Tequila controversy, after barely beating the Raiders and losing two key offensive linemen in the process, yet still coached by Norv Turner, will face a Ravens team that now has a multi dimensional offense? Gee, I wonder which way I’ll go.

Ravens over Chargers

Pittsburgh (1-0) at Chicago (0-1)

Hmmm, an easily rattled Cutler versus a Super Bowl winning defense….I wonder who will win? Oh like I ever debate a pick involving Pittsburgh.

Steelers over Bears

Cleveland (0-1) at Denver (1-0)

This game has ewww written all over it. I guess home field advantage may play into this somehow. No, the neck beard will.

Broncos over Browns

New York Giants (1-0) at Dallas (1-0)

How can Dallas lose with the big grand opening of their new, ultra fabulous stadium? Please, logic has no place with Jerry Jones involved.

Cowboys over Giants

Monday

Indianapolis (1-0) at Miami (0-1)

Yeah, I know, Peyton has but one reliable receiver. So what, the Dolphins may be reverting to 2007 form. Sorry Joey.

Colts over Dolphins

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 1

2009-09-12T23:28:00.000-07:00

Oh, it is but exquisite to be here once again. The taste we received Thursday not only was exquisite, but merely whetted the appetite for what is to come. The impending buffet of football that stands before us is succulent, appetizing and most of all, ready to open. Oops, excuse me, I started to salivate.

Opening Kickoff

After it took him a week to report, Richard Seymour insists he’s excited to be a Raider. Richard, its ok you don’t have to lie. No one is ever excited at that prospect.

The Steel Pit

Pittsburgh 13 – Tennessee 10 (OT)

Ok, so that’s a good start…EXCEPT for the fact the offense could do nothing most of the game, the defense looked pedestrian, and now Polamalu could be missing for as much as six weeks. Ugh. More on this next week when the thought of it doesn’t make me want to hurl.

Only In Faux NFL Reality…

Panther’s owner Jerry Richardson this off season let his two sons go from the team. Apparently their infighting was hurting the team and Richardson had enough and sent them packing. Something tells me this may not be a good season for Carolina fans. But hey, at least they’ll be one step closer to hiring Bill “I love all things Carolina now” Cowher.

Have you heard of the website runpee.com? Me either until recently but it’s rather brilliant. It tells you the best moments during movies to go to the bathroom, and fills you in on the plot parts you’ll have missed during that absence. Just a great idea, if you ask me who always gets the extra large Coke. You know who started this site? Jordan Palmer, brother of Carson and backup quarterback for the Bungles. Gee, I wonder why the Bungles are never successful when their players have this kind of time on their hands.

Ochocinco promises something good tweet wise for the NFL this weekend. That nimrod is going to tweet in game, I guarantee it. Either that or send text messages to the Jumbotron people during the game. Hey, at least it’s something interesting for Bungle fans, the action on the field certainly will not be.

Of the teams in fear of multiple blackouts due to unsold tickets on game day, the only one I laugh at is the Cowboys. Yes, the Cowboys who just opened their new $1.2 billion stadium may have some trouble selling out the stadium this season. Gee, I cannot figure out why. Could it be because they now have to sell over 100,000 tickets per game to sell out the new behemoth? Or perhaps the $75 parking fees are a deterrent. Perhaps it’s the idea of shelling out $60 for a pizza to enjoy during the game. Whatever the reason, the bottom line is simple. Jerry Jones selected the wrong time to open the new monument to him, I mean Cowboy football.

Bill “I think I’m a genius” Belichick traded DE Richard Seymour to the Raiders for a 2011 first round pick. Good trade by Belichick, since that pick will most likely be a top 5 pick. But what a crappy thing to do to one of your stalwart players and defensive leaders after all he’s done for the team. And reports said Seymour was none too happy about it, not that anyone would blame him. The worst part, from what I’ve heard, is Belichick didn’t even talk to Seymour about it, just sent him packing to football purgatory toot sweet. You know Bill; other players see that and wonder why they should work hard for you if that may be their ultimate reward. This will bite him on his cheating fanny, you watch.

The Merry Old Land of Oz

I’ve done a terrible thing. I’ve betrayed so many people. I’ve done something I swore I would never do, and chastised others for doing. I’ve….joined a fantasy football league! Yes, I know. I’ve made fun of it for years. I’ve pointed out how it bastardizes your fandom. How dumb it would be to root for a player on your fake team when said player is going against your real favorite team.

Well, I came to a conclusion that how can I make fun of something without really knowing what it’s all about? So after receiving an invitation from a friend to join his league, I relented and joined.

Mind you, I gave it some thought before joining, and had a big plan. I did not want to ever have any kind of questionable fan allegiances. So I mapped out a draft strategy that would allow me to only pick players from teams that did not play Pittsburgh. And then I promptly forgot all about the draft. It would seem my ambivalence continues unchecked.

But luckily I did end up, by fantasy standards, with a very good team. But already in week 1 I had to face a dilemma regarding fan loyalty. My team includes Titans RB Chris Johnson, who played against the Steelers. What did I do? I started Steelers RB Mewelde Moore instead. Yes I lost out on 4 points, and may lose against my “opponent” this week. But at least I can sleep tonight.

So I offer you, my reader(s), for this season a potential semi-regularly occurring feature when I bring up how well this experiment is going, how fun it may be or how colossally dumb it turns out. No matter what, by the end I’ll either have a new obsession/addiction or a ton of material to use for future jokes. So don’t hate on me too much for reversing course and attempting something goofy. Especially since so far, it has been kinda fun. Stay tuned.

Upon Further Review

The number one topic you will hear this season, short of growing anxiety toward the uncapped year of 2010, will be about the blackouts that will occur in multiple NFL markets due to teams unable to sell out games.

Currently, the NFL’s policy regarding ticket sales states that if a team fails to sell out a game, then local coverage is blacked out within a 90 mile radius of the team. This has made sense for years, and with a mere handful of cases, rarely happens. However, this year things will be different.

I have heard some talking heads point out that this could be a sign of flagging popularity in the NFL. I disagree. I believe this merely is a reflection of an expensive entertainment option coupled with trying economic times.

Right now, your average person is just getting by. Disposable income for most people is at a premium and many people want to maximize what little cash they can use for entertainment as much as possible. Unfortunately, that may exclude a trip to your local football cathedral.

Let’s face it, going to watch an NFL game in person is expensive. The tickets, even the cheap seats, are not that cheap even if you manage to purchase them directly from the team. If you have to find a seller after market, either someone selling on their own or through Stub Hub, Ticket Exchange or another broker that adds significant costs to the overall price. When you tally in costs for parking, concessions, souvenirs, fuel to and from the venue and potential before or after meals and drinks, suddenly just two people heading for the afternoon at the field can run hundreds of dollars and much more if you have a whole family attempting to go to a game. Who has that kind of cash lying around right now, or is willing to part with it not knowing what may come down the pike financially?

Because of people being more cautious with their extra cash, and the NFL being an expensive option for entertainment, people will limit the amount of times they attend games or opt to just stay home and watch games. It does not mean popularity is down, just the ability to enjoy games in person.

However, how the NFL handles the current fiscal realities of the majority of their fans will affect potential future popularity of the sport. Right now, Roger Goodell and company are walking a tight rope. Sure, they want to have fannies in the seats. It’s good for business and looks good to sponsors forking over big advertising dollars to see packed stadiums. Plus knowing that local markets are all seeing their products on commercial breaks makes those said sponsors feel much better about the big checks they write to get their commercials broadcast during games.

At the same time, the NFL does not want to relax their blackout policy in fear of setting a precedent in the future. As I see it, the fear is that if they make concessions, in the future some crappy team that has trouble selling tickets to a fan base tired of seeing the same inept management trotting out the same terrible product, this team will want blackouts lifted instead of investing in their team and product to entice fans to come out. Lions, Bungles, Browns and Raiders, I’m looking in your general direction.

Perhaps my assumption is wrong; I do not have inside information from the league offices to know anything for sure. But I do know this. The NFL should be smart enough to recognize what is going on in our world right now and give the proper concessions, if only temporarily, to help out the fans that have helped build the league’s popularity that may not be able to afford such luxuries as a day at the stadium.

I understand that big money moves the league now. But the reason that big money rolls in is because of the rabid fan bases that drive up ratings and gate attendance. If those things should wane, the money will disappear.

If the NFL starts alienating fan bases by allowing blackouts to stack up, even the most loyal of fans will begin questioning why they bother to support an entertainment venue that would look so coldly upon those who follow it. With DirecTV, local sports bars and internet options available to view any game, fans will eventually become less concerned with blackouts if they can find a more cost effective way to watch their favorite local team.

I urge commissioner Goodell to take all of these factors into account when looking ahead at the 2009 season and deciding how to operate the blackout policy. One alienated fan rapidly turns into two, which turns into four, which begins a snowball effect that is more difficult to stop once rolling than it is to take a slight short term hit. If you think I’m being overly dramatic Roger, just ask Major League Baseball how fast popularity can disappear.

Super Bust Watch

Yes, at the start of another glorious season, we begin once again our watch to see who this year will play in this glorious game. The Super Bust is a concept created to help fill the non football void during the week between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl. Granted the NFL now fills that void with the Pro Bowl, but if you ask me the Super Bust is better. This game would pit the two preseason Super Bowl favorites that did not make the big game against each other the weekend before the NFL Championship. Brilliant in its simplicity, the Super Bust allows fans to have one more weekend of football, and show everyone that picking Super Bowl teams before the season begins is merely an exercise in futility. The Super Bust would have a permanent home in Las Vegas, allowing many fans who cannot afford a nice vacation for the Super Bowl or Pro Bowl a chance to get out and shake off the winter doldrums somewhere warm and fun. The list of benefits is never ending. These represent merely the tip of the iceberg of what The Super Bust could provide.

- A chance for two fan bases to see their team in action one more time before next season
- An added opportunity for one team to end their season with a win.
- Some extra earnings for players
- A chance for each organization to strengthen their team monetarily and physically with added income as well as additional draft choices
- An opportunity to show how futile picking Super Bowl winners before the season really is
- An extra football game when we really need one
- A weekend of football and fun in Las Vegas
- A perfect excuse to go to Las Vegas (like you need one anyway)
- An excuse to have another big game party, this one where the game really does not matter
- A chance to use the game as a warm up to your real party the next week for the Super Bowl. Try out those far out recipes you think may not work on the real game day. Almost like a Party Pre Season.
- Staving off football withdraw for another two weeks
- Another game for the NFL Network to air, giving more practice to both their broadcast crews and technical crews as well as increasing demand for the network itself
- Something for the sports media to talk about during the dead time when all other Super Bowl stories and angles have been beaten to death
- food and service industries seeing a bigger bump in production and sales, thus adding more stimulus to the economy
- Businesses around the world that have a stake in football seeing an increased profit, adding even more stimulus to the economy
- The advertising industry having another forum to debut killer commercials, almost like an exhibition commercial season
- Better play from the preseason favorites during the regular season, since none of them would want to play in the Super Bust

Once again, Roger Goodell is too busy to address the creation of this wonderful match up. I guess prepping for his big mountain climb with Jim Mora Jr. kept him too occupied this summer. I’m sure he’d have some flaky reasoning like its wrong to embarrass the sportswriters who help promote and report on the games or that it would be an insult to the teams represented. The truth is, he knows it’s a brilliant idea and just hates the fact his office did not generate such a marketing coup. Regardless, we move forward.

So, after an exhaustive search of online predictions, television shows, talking heads and general know it alls, I have discovered the prohibitive favorites according to the media for each conference. They are:

AFC Representative: The New England Patriots

Yes, by just adding Tom Brady, despite the fact no one knows how well his knee is and that he may have a crunched shoulder thanks to a preseason hit by Albert Haynesworth, the Patriots are poised to win it all. Never mind they have lost all their defensive leaders, or that Pittsburgh’s defense may actually be better than last year. Nope, the favorites are the Patriots. Actually, from my tallies they were tied with San Diego, although I did not get EVERYBODY, but I give the edge to New England because, well, at least they have won a Super Bowl.

Alternate – The San Diego Chargers

NFC Representative: The New York Giants

No deep threat receiver has emerged, no problem for the G-men. It would seem in general people love the idea of what the team can do not only in the supposedly tough NFC East, but in the league as a whole. Perhaps they can, who knows. But it would seem people think a rematch of Super Bowl 42 will take place this February.

Alternate – The Philadelphia Eagles

Idiot of the week

For our opening week of the season, I would like to bestow this award on NFL writer, and favorite target, Peter King.

Did King do anything this week to distinguish himself? No. This is more of a cumulative award for plenty of off season nonsense.

I think the biggest thing that has led to this award for King is that in his writing, he seems to insinuate himself into the story to the point where he writes as though the snippet of information would be far less interesting if he were not involved.

Now, I know all three of you out there would say what? You put yourself into everything you write. As a matter of fact, you use I more often than an optometrist; and you would be correct. Disturbingly correct after I wrote the stupid section above regarding my fantasy team which only emphasizes your point. But I know what happens in the NFL has nothing to do with me. With King, I am beginning to believe that he writes as though he really believes his readers give two toots about what him. I could care less that he has three columns a week now. Or how about the fact that he works for NBC and watches football all Sunday in their “bat cave”. Or about his weekly radio show on Sirius radio. Or that he moved to Boston this year. Peter, just use your extensive network of contacts to give me the latest and greatest NFL news. But he seems to think anyone reading his columns care immensely about everything in his world.

And speaking of Boston, it bugs me that he just cannot come out and admit that he’s an unabashed Patriots fan. It seems to me like he wants us to believe that he’s an unbiased journalist, but you can tell that he just loves the Pats, and is afraid to show it. Do you want proof?

Ok, that brings us to my other point that bugs me, his Super Bowl picks for this season. He picked the Bears for the NFC because of his burgeoning man crush on Jay Cutler (and I’m sure that it was hard to finally “break up” with Brett but I give him credit for doing so.) Peter, I do not care one iota about Cutler’s potential; he has DONE NOTHING so far. He has a losing record as a starter, and has shown extremely poor leadership skills and now is saddled with a team with an aging defense and questionable receiving corps. You really think that will be the best of the NFC?

But predictably, his Super Bowl champion for 2009 will be the New England Patriots. Why? Oh because he loves them. Never mind the fact that no one knows whether or not Brady will be effective, if Belichick will operate rationally without Pioli, or the fact that the defense now has exactly zero leaders on the field, and they have yet another new offensive coordinator. Nope, they’ll win it all. Please, Peter, I beg you just admit you are Patriots biased. I’d respect you so much more for just admitting to your Patriot love.

But perhaps the worst is his awful obsession with Twitter. He has been part of a panel of several tweet ups, when big Twitter users host a forum for fans. I think everything was said when he reported that at one of these, only six fans showed up. But what really bothered me was when he justified breaking a story over Twitter as opposed to putting the information out through his employer, Sports Illustrated. His lame justification was that if he called the story in, it would take 20 minutes to get it online. But if he twitted it (I refuse to call it tweeted, if you use Twitter, you are twitting, not tweeting), the story would be out immediately and that would reflect well on SI indirectly since he would get the scoop and people know he works for them.

That is a lame, sad and pathetic justification Peter. You wanted the scoop so you could have it. If you gave a damn about SI, you would have gone through the online channels or had a SI Twitter account or ready made blog set up for just such an occurrence. You did not care about SI getting the story at all, you cared about YOU getting the scoop and found a way to justify it in your own mind to ignore the fact that you went for glory and ignored the people who fund your ability to watch and comment on the NFL for a living.

So for all of these factors, and your exponentially growing ego, Peter King you are an idiot.

Although in all fairness, all the work you have done for Dr. Z and his rehabilitation has been exemplary and I thank you for your efforts and updates. So, you earn a Get out of Idiot card for later in the season.

On Tap This Week

Well, before week 1 has really begun, we’ve already mucked things up no?

Thursday 1-0
Season to Date 1-0

At least the loss column is still pristine. Shall we see if that streak can continue?

Sunday

Miami (0-0) at Atlanta (0-0)

Sophomore phemon versus Wildcat, who wins? It’s week one, in tough calls I go with the home team. It’s one of the occasions where the home crowd can make a difference. Unless the home team is highly overrated, in which case I’m screwed no matter what.

Falcons over Dolphins

Denver (0-0) at Cincinnati (0-0)

Ewww, what a pu pu platter. Ok you will rarely see this but considering the McDaniels experiment thus far, here we go.

Bungles over Broncos

Minnesota (0-0) at Cleveland (0-0)

Seriously Mangenius? Not telling anyone who the starter is until game time? Apparently, he mastered the art of douchebaggery from Belichick. He states it’s a competitive advantage. Exactly how so? Cleveland sucks, no offense Drew Carey, like the Vikings are scared of either quarterback.

Vikings over Browns

Jacksonville (0-0) at Indianapolis (0-0)

Make or break for Del Rio, against the revamped Colts, I say it’s the first step toward break.

Colts over Jaguars

Detroit (0-0) at New Orleans (0-0)

I think eventually, the long suffering Lions fans will experience the joy of a win. But not this week against the Saints and that potentially wicked offense.

Saints over Lions

Dallas (0-0) at Tampa Bay (0-0)

Oh, I have no delusions that without TO, all the Cowboy problems have been solved. But I believe stronger that Tampa Bay is a larger mess than people realize.

Cowboys over Buccaneers

Philadelphia (0-0) at Carolina (0-0)

We see the first of two weeks of Philadelphia football that consist of relative peace. When Vick’s suspension ends, so will that calm. For the time being success for the Birds against the rapidly dysfunctioning Panthers.

Eagles over Panthers

Kansas City (0-0) at Baltimore (0-0)

Let’s see, a rebuilding KC team on the road with a new, and gimpy, quarterback without an offensive coordinator against one of the fiercest defenses in the NFL. Hmmm I wonder who may win….

Ravens over Chiefs

New York Jets (0-0) at Houston (0-0)

Another questionable call. The Jets may be on the mend with a tough, energetic new coach, but they are starting a rookie quarterback on the road against a team many think will finally make the leap this year. I wonder if Houston will make that leap, but at the very least, they’ll get the best of Matt Sanchez. Welcome to the NFL, rookie.

Texans over Jets

Washington (0-0) at New York Giants (0-0)

Considering the confidence Washington management showed in Jason Campbell during their aborted chase of Jay Cutler, why should I display more?

Giants over Redskins

San Francisco (0-0) at Arizona (0-0)

Yeah, Arizona’s preseason looked bad. But remember last year the Lions went 4-0 in preseason play.

Cardinals over 49ers

St. Louis (0-0) at Seattle (0-0)

Ummm, well Seattle does have Hasselbeck and now features T.J. Houshmandzadeh. So that’s something, right?

Seahawks over Rams

Chicago (0-0) at Green Bay (0-0)

I’m not buying the suddenly potent Bears with Cutler. I think Aaron Rodgers and the revamped Green Bay defense will be far more potent.

Packers over Bears

Monday

Buffalo (0-0) at New England (0-0)

Ugh, I hate to do this but Buffalo’s offensive line looks shaky at best.

Patriots over Bills

San Diego (0-0) at Oakland (0-0)

For the one game no one will watch, including most self described Charger fans. Wait, that’s wrong. Prisons across America will tune in for this crap fest.

Chargers over Raiders

The Crystal Ball 2009 Week 1 Coin Toss

2009-09-10T15:41:00.000-07:00

The full blown week 1 version of the Crystal Ball will be out by Sunday kickoff time. I’m still trying to get into a new rhythm for this season, and already these short weeks are messing with my mind. However, considering the season actually starts tonight, perhaps a small taste is in order followed by the pick for tonight’s game. Anyone want to wager on who I think will win this evening in Pittsburgh?

The Steel Pit

Last evening I enjoyed the latest episode of my favorite TV series, America’s Game. Ok, I’ll be honest I’ve been waiting since February 2nd to watch this episode. And personally, it was worth the wait. Fantastic episode that featured Mike Tomlin, Troy Polamalu and Ben Roethlisberger talking about their adventurous and successful 2008 season.

A few things I took away from the program:

Troy Polamalu is, in my opinion, a genuinely nice, good and just well centered human being. We as a society should strive to be that kind of person. And perhaps it’s because of the person he is that he has been able to be so successful. Maybe if we were all more like that, we would all be more successful in many ways. Of course, if my observation is correct, Troy would humbly shrug off such compliments and say something like, I am just trying to do my best at living life.

Mike Tomlin is a no nonsense guy who is always prepared and remains calm no matter the situation. I think he will not be content as a head coach until he has a ring for every finger. He seems driven and motivated and wants to have those around who are the same. Plus, he’s got a pretty good sense of humor. Definitely the kind of guy I’d like to have a beer with and chew the fat.

Ben Roethlisberger is, well, Ben is Ben. Ok, yeah I still think he’s kind of a douche bag, but in a weird self effacing way. It’s like he recognizes it and just rolls with it in the same way William Shatner recognized he was the butt of jokes for his over acting, embraced it and turned it into a second career. But hey, I could be way off. Maybe at home with close friends he’s shy and introverted and writes poetry. Nah that would be what Troy does at home.

One other note I would like to share that I found immensely interesting. Tonight, when the Steeler offense takes the field, Pittsburgh will start two Super Bowl MVPs at wide receiver in Hines Ward and newly minted MVP Santonio Holmes. This will be the first time in the history of the NFL that this occurrence has happened.

Now, of all Super Bowl MVPs in history, there are only six wide receivers that have been thus honored. When you take into account the acrobatic Lynn Swann that means three of the six wide receiver MVPs in history have been Pittsburgh Steelers. Let me point that out again. Half of all six wide receivers that have won the Super Bowl MVP have been Steelers. You know, the Steelers, the team that lives and dies by the power running game? Half of their MVPs have been receivers. Is it just me or does that just boggle the mind?

He Said He Said

“If it happens to be there, I'm going to stomp all over that, man.'' - Titan running back LenDale White when asked if he would stomp on the Terrible Towel again.

Some guys just never learn, do they? LenDale, even if you win tonight, you’re setting yourself up for some bad mojo.

“What makes teams great, what makes games great? It's these opportunities that seldomly come, in the huge stage of the AFC championship game, and they have a rookie quarterback and they have a rookie coach on the sideline, and you're thinking, 'What a great time for them to come back and kick a field goal and beat their rivals that they've just lost [to] twice.' All these things are running through your head. That would be a great story for them.”

"But it didn't happen that way." – Steelers safety Troy Polamalu during America’s Game.

This is why you love Troy. When he said this, referring to the Ravens, he seemed happy and excited about the prospect of the potential story line for Baltimore. But when he delivered that last line, he seemed genuinely sad that they did not get that great story. Even though it meant he got to write another chapter in his amazing story, he felt bad they did not. I hope one day I can be half the man he is today.

“There are 31 teams that are America’s team, and 1 team that’s the worlds team. The Pittsburgh Steelers.” – Steelers legend Franco Harris on the NFL Network pregame show when asked who the true America’s team is, Steelers or Cowboys.

Wow, that certainly sums it up for me. Just call it, the Immaculate Sound Bite. Choke on that Cowboy fans.

On Tap This Week

As always, we shall make the quixotic attempt at predicting wins. There is no point spreads to consider or final scores to try to calculate. Just a simple, old fashioned who’s gonna knock the slobber out of each other, which is appropriate for tonight’s game. Before we begin, let us reset our counters from the previous season.

Last week 0-0
Season to Date 0-0

Does that record not look wondrous? So beautiful and pristine like the dawn breaking on a crisp winter morning after a snow fall. But like any fresh winter morning, the real fun is when you traipse through that snow, sled ride, snowball fight, build snowmen and generally muck up the landscape. So let’s muck it up.

Thursday

Tennessee (0-0) at Pittsburgh (0-0)

What is there to say about tonight’s game? The Titans thought they were on their way to the Super Bowl, but never got there. Now they have to watch the Steelers celebrate the trophy they thought they should have won. You think that sits well with them? As for the Steelers, they want to have a better title defense this time around than in 2006, and they will be out to set the tone from the get go of the season. Plus, the Terrible Towel will enact its magical power to get revenge for the desecration by the Titans last season. With that in mind….

Steelers over Titans